Physical symptoms of guilt
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Depression, Physical Symptoms, and Overcoming Excessive Guilt
Written by WebMD Editorial Contributors
Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on November 23, 2020
In this Article
- What Is Guilt?
- Signs of Guilt
- Dealing With Guilt
What Is Guilt?
Guilt is difficult to pin down, but we all feel it. You may feel guilty for a thought you’ve had or something you’ve done. You may also feel guilty that your thoughts and actions don’t coincide with your culture, your family, or your beliefs. While your associations with guilt may be negative, it does have a positive function.
Oftentimes, guilt is meant to help you make a morally upright decision. If your deeds provoke negative outcomes or emotions, guilt will later inform you that it was the wrong thing to do, and doing it again will make you feel guilty. You will often see guilt and shame in the same conversation because they help you make moral decisions.
Excessive guilt, however, is when guilt turns sour. It can lead to anxious obsessions, depressive tendencies, and physical symptoms if it’s not addressed. While most guilt is internal, it is often conditioned by external factors — which means with the right habits, it can be unlearned. To unlearn excessive guilt, you must know the signs.
Guilt is intertwined with other disorders, and separating them can be a challenge. Understanding guilt’s role in disorders like obsessive-compulsive disorder ( OCD) and depression, along with its physical symptoms, can help you notice its signs and learn how to overcome excessive guilt.
Signs of Guilt
Guilt’s relationship with OCD, anxiety, and depression often brings a host of symptoms. Some of the physical symptoms of guilt are problems with sleep, your stomach and digestion, and muscle tension.
The social and emotional symptoms of guilt are often hidden in your everyday actions. You may find justification for certain thoughts, but guilt could very well be the cause.
Some symptoms of guilt include:
- Being sensitive to the effects of every action
- Overwhelmed by possibly making the “wrong” decision
- Low self-esteem
- Putting others before yourself until it’s detrimental
- Avoiding your full range of emotions
Guilt and OCD
Guilt’s relationship to other disorders is two-way. It can either cause a disorder or perpetuate one. OCD and depression are two significant others to guilt. OCD is all about recurring thoughts (obsessions) and actions (compulsions) that are uncontrollable. Guilt can act as a predecessor or an enabler for OCD.
If you feel guilty about a thought or action, it may stick to the forefront of your mind for a long time. This guilt may cause an obsession regarding the action you took or the thought that crossed your mind. Then, to make up for it, you start to make reparations to ease your guilt. However, the constant focus on the guilt and compulsion to make it right may never end.
The alternative is an already embedded obsessive-compulsive tendency. For example, if you obsess about having a clean home and wash the dishes every night, you may be plagued with guilt if you forget to wash the dishes. This kind of guilt arises because you broke a code that dictates your beliefs.
Guilt and Depression
As with guilt and OCD, guilt and depression feed off each other. Guilt enables depressive symptoms. It manifests as feeling bad about feeling depressed, and it compounds over time. Referred to as “meta-emotions,” this relationship isn’t always negative-negative. Sometimes, you may feel guilty because you feel good.
Guilty emotions are typically irrational. You create these perceptions of your own failures that ferment in your mind. Your actions then reflect these emotions, which cause these perceptions to continue.
The relationship between guilt and depression forms a swirling pool of negative thinking. They can often spiral out of control, feeding off each other until they are consuming.
Spotting this parasitic relationship is the first step in breaking free from the cycle.
Dealing With Guilt
There’s no magical cure for excessive guilt. Overcoming it takes a lot of consistent emotional work, just as with any strong emotion. Frequent recognition and reflection are two touchstones for overcoming guilt. Ask yourself questions like, “What is making me feel guilty?” and “What actions or thoughts are occurring because of my guilt?”
Additionally, positive thinking and reinforcement can help overcome guilt. Changing the verbiage for your thoughts can alter your outlook on the source of your guilt. Change “I should” or “I could” to something more positive, like “I get to,” “I deserve,” or “I can” when applicable.
Moreover, try making a list of what you feel guilty about. Using that list, consider the following:
- Write a letter to someone who is the source of your guilt.
- Volunteer to make amends toward something you feel guilty about.
- Spin a guilty feeling into something positive by learning a lesson from it and how to move forward.
While everyone’s guilt is unique, you are not alone in feeling guilty. Speaking about your guilt can open the doors to forgiveness and healing.
6 Signs You Are Suffering From Guilt And Probably Don't Know It
William Shakespeare (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
William Shakespeare, the most brilliant psychotherapist who never once treated a patient, described guilt (in Macbeth) as life’s fitful fever. Anyone who has suffered pangs of guilt knows that the Bard nailed the essence of this psychic malignancy. Put it this way-- A bout of malaria feels like a therapeutic shvitz in a steam room in comparison to washing your hands and screaming, “Out damned spot.”
But as bad as feeling guilty may be, not recognizing your guilt –and living a life chronically disrupted by it— is far worse in myriad ways. What people don’t typically know about guilt is that it’s a double-whammy distress: You feel culpable for a wrong that is not known to people who should be apprised of it, yet when you contemplate an airing of your misdeeds a feeling of shame kicks in and blocks you from doing so.
It’s one thing to find a wallet, pocket the cash, and then drop it in a mailbox, fearing that someone with an iPhone filmed your larceny, it’s quite another to think about what a rotten S.O.B. you were to have done what you did, imagine the unemployed person who won’t eat because of what you did, and how his kids might be driven to lives of crime because of what you did.
Unfortunately, thinking about what you did –or obsessing over permutations of your shamefulness— is what makes guilt a truly fitful fever. The moment most people feel guilt, then shame, their psychic defenses move in to deny, repress, and ultimately suppress awareness of it. This of course, does nothing to resolve it, which is why I describe guilt as radioactive waste of the psyche: You can bury it, but it is guaranteed to leach through the barrier you put between it and your cognitive control panel, to ultimately mess-up your life in a variety of ways.
Freud argued that slips-of-the-tongue or accidents were almost always symptoms of suppressed guilt breaking free from would-be containment.
In my clinical and coaching experience I have seen countless talented individuals derailed, denied successes they struggled long-and-hard to attain, and disrupted in their interpersonal affairs, by their unwillingness or inability to face guilty feelings. Why this is so must be examined on a case-by-case basis. What I can do now, before you “accidently” damage yourself further if you have repressed guilt, is walk you through the Top 5 signs that you are suffering from repressed guilt. After you get to #1, the most damaging, decide if you are ready to face the music and purge yourself of this fever, or continue to shoot yourself in the foot because you killed your mom’s pet cat then swore the fur ball ran away.
#6. Professional Relationships Do Not Last As Long As Wonder Bread Stays Fresh. One of the worst consequences of suppressed guilt is the disruption it causes to your self-image. When you are able to suppress guilt you are undoubtedly a nice guy, proud of many things, and affable.
But when guilt seeps into your consciousness and you’re aware of hiding something that shames you, you aren’t fond of who you are and believe that others see the “damned spot” you cannot seem to wash out.
In any professional relationship consistency covers a multitude of sins: You may be a maniac, but if you are a loveable one people will learn to accept you. Not so if on Monday you’re calm, Tuesday you’re withdrawn, Wednesday you’re depressed, and Thursday you’re manic— in essence, a random-mood generator. This breeds mistrust and no one in business wants any sort of involvement with someone they cannot predict the behavior of, long term.
#5. You Suffer The “Snooze-and-Lose” Syndrome.
It takes a ton of psychic energy to keep feelings of guilt suppressed. A result of this is that you become distracted from work and give-off a deer-in-the-headlights look far more often than you can justify by claiming fatigue, anxiety about the 2012 election, or other excuses.
When you should be acting boldly, you are stuck at your desk batting-away intrusive thoughts that fire at you like an Uzi fires bullets. All the while you cope with this fate, business proceeds around you. The result: You’re chronically a day late and a dollar short.
(Image credit: AFP via @daylife)
#4. Your Jokes Aren’t Funny; They Are Offensive.
Humor is hard to get a handle on because so many different things –from slapstick to Seinfeld— make us laugh. One thing is certain, however: Since Plato was the authority on all matters related to mental health it has been assumed that humor is a manifestation of felt superiority over others less fortunate than we are— Schadenfreude that makes us laugh. Folks with guilt never seem to add the funny punch line to their put-downs, and instead simply put people down despite swearing that all they wanted was to get a yuck.
Not everyone is Chris Rock, but if you are always joking at someone else’s expense and these jokes bomb, blame your guilty feelings.
One of the more primitive defenses for feeling ashamed of oneself is an attempt to level the playing field by “seeing” others as being as tainted as you are. This is why grandma always advised, “If you have nothing positive to say, say nothing at all.”
#3. Conversely, If You Explode In Response to Minor Constructive Criticism, Blame Guilt.
Guilt is a form of self-criticism that can beat your ego like a drummer hits a tom-tom. When that happens you’re sore and sensitive, so any minor slight makes you feel as though you are pistol-whipped.
I once had a client who knew he felt guilty about cheating on his wife without stop during their 20-year marriage, but steadfastly refused to discuss it since the concern that brought him to me was selecting a successor to take over the business he founded. One day when we met he told me that he was almost nabbed
in flagrante delicto the night before, and asked if I thought he was “self-destructive.” For some reason I wasn’t as empathic as I should have been and replied, “Do I think 20 years of adultery is riskier than Evel Kinevel’s daredevil leaps?” With that the client tore into me as though he caught me cheating with his wife.
He cursed me, threatened everything he could think of, and never spoke to me again.
While what I said was ill considered, it did not warrant a near-physical assault. I regret that this gentleman didn’t stick around long enough for me to tell him what Tacitus, the ancient Roman senator advised: “To show resentment at a reproach is to acknowledge that one may have deserved it.”
#2. Guilt Makes You Paranoid.
Shakespeare had another observation about guilt that bears repeating: “Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; the thief doth fear each bush an officer.”
If you are guilty the odds are you fear that anyone and everyone you need to deal with is out to screw you. What causes this is projection, another psychic defense mechanism that can temporarily serve to rid you of upsetting feelings: “I’m not untrustworthy, that guy’s a double-dealing snake.”
Sisyphus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
#1. Guilt Can Sabotage Your Success.
There’s no getting around it: Many people who harbor feelings of guilt will not allow themselves to succeed. A major cause of this type of self-defeating behavior, and others, is the rationale that if you are the one meting-out punishment for heinous offenses, you not only take the wind out of the sails of those who would gladly tear-you-up, you administer more benign punishments to boot. Hating what you did or wished to do or fantasized about doing can really get you down on yourself; so much so that denying yourself an award, prize, or achievement, seems like a small price to pay. The problem with this system of justice is that it doesn’t work: You still haven’t done what it takes to resolve guilt, and will likely repeat the cycle of coming close to “making it” and then “going bust,” ad nauseum.
The good news is that resolving guilt, permanently, is one declarative statement away, and need not involve decades of psychoanalysis. As Oscar Wilde observed: It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.
Fess-up and you can free yourself from the Sisyphusian hell of pushing that rock up the hill only to “slip” and have it roll back down, over, and over, and over.
June Is Startup MonthAre you an Entrepreneur? How do you turn an idea into a business?
Survivor's guilt: how is it?
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resend04/28/2022
Now many people are faced with a sense of their own powerlessness and guilt for not being able to bring significant benefit and help to society.
Such emotions are destructive. They paralyze activity, provoke quarrels and conflicts in the family, people devalue themselves and their actions. This is due to the fact that the nervous system tends to discharge, trying to free itself in this way.
What is Survivor's Guilt and what to do to get rid of this syndrome, HoldYou psychologists tell.
Survivor guilt: signs
Survivor syndrome is a specific reaction to traumatic events, a form of PTSD.
Occurs when people decide to flee the war for their own safety, to leave the country. Or when they manage to survive and get out of dangerous places, while others are under fire and dying. Also, people may feel guilty because they allegedly did not do enough for others and could not change the result.
Symptoms
Guilt can weigh on people both physically and psychologically. The Ministry of Health has published the most common signs.
Psychological:
- memories of a dangerous situation, obsessive thoughts;
- nervousness, unconditioned anger, mood swings;
- apathy, helplessness, decreased motivation;
- suicidal thoughts.
Physical symptoms:
- headache;
- lack of appetite, nausea, pain in the stomach or abdomen;
- insomnia;
- rapid heartbeat.
This syndrome can manifest itself due to various circumstances: moving to another country, staying in a safer place, inability to help. The guilt of the survivor seriously affects a person's life, his ability to make decisions, to assess the situation in a balanced and objective way.
What to do?
1. Understand that fear for one's own life and the lives of loved ones, panic, desire to leave the country - these are the first natural reactions. And that's ok. They are automatic and provide biological survival on an instinctive level.
2. When you are safe, you are already making a difference. You are a support for those who depend on you: children, the elderly, pets. When you are more or less calm, you help cover their basic needs: sleep, food, water, health. In addition, you can help in other ways: volunteer, cook for refugees, work for economic recovery.
So we gradually move on to the next step.
3. When you calm down, you can expand your influence. Bring physical and psychological support to those around you (family, neighbors, friends, social media followers).
4. Team up with like-minded people if you can. Join a specific activity. As already mentioned above, this can be volunteer, humanitarian, physical, informational and any other activity.
5. Be a support for yourself and those around you. Gradually you will find how you can be useful, you will see those who need it.
Of course, we understand how difficult it can be to control oneself, especially in such terrible circumstances. It is important that everyone understands that you can help anywhere, even if you had to flee the war to another country. If you are unable to cope with emotions and feelings, you can always contact HoldYou. Or try to find a psychologist in the country where you are now. For example, on request: “online psychologist in Germany”, “online psychologist in Turkey”, “Russian-speaking psychologist”, “Ukrainian-speaking psychologist”, etc.
Most importantly, do not neglect your psychological health, it is better to solve any request or problem at the initial stage.
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Unfortunately, love triangles are common. What makes people hold on to relationships without a future that bring pain and discomfort? We asked HoldYou psychologists.
How to get rid of guilt
Survivor´s guilt is a special feeling that arises in people who have witnessed and / or participated in traumatic events, but avoided the “worst outcome”.
Guilt can manifest itself in different ways depending on the situation and the extent to which the person is involved in it. For example, a person may feel guilty for surviving when someone else died. Or suffer, thinking that he did nothing or did not do enough to save the injured or the dead.
Survivor's guilt was originally used to describe the feelings of Holocaust victims who miraculously survived.
But in the modern world, traumatic situations, when some die or get seriously injured, while others continue to live, burdened with guilt for what happened, alas, there are more than enough: suicides, car accidents, wars, natural disasters ...
Is it normal to feel guilty without guilt? How to get rid of a painful feeling? When and to whom to turn for help?
Is survivor guilt a disorder?
Survivor guilt is a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) according to the current DSM-5 (Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders developed by the American Psychiatric Association).
However, it is important to note that people can experience survivor's guilt without having PTSD. As well as there can be PTSD without guilt of the survivor in the symptom complex.
How “survivor's guilt” manifests itself
The severity of a painful feeling of guilt can vary from person to person. The symptoms of survivor guilt can be both psychological and physical.
They often mimic the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
So, the most common psychological symptoms are :
- feeling of helplessness;
- memories of a traumatic event;
- irritability;
- lack of motivation, apathy;
- mood swings, outbursts of anger;
- intrusive thoughts about the event;
- suicidal thoughts.
General physical symptoms may include:
- decreased or no appetite;
- sleep disturbance;
- headaches;
- dyspeptic disorders: nausea, abdominal pain, gastric dysmotility, etc.;
- heart palpitations.
The feeling of guilt of a survivor, of course, affects the quality of life of a person, his mood, ability to perform not only work duties, but also daily routine activities. In this case, a person definitely needs the help of a professional.
The burden of guilt. Who is at risk
In fairness, it should be noted that not all people who have become participants or witnesses of traumatic events suffer from “survivor guilt”.
Some people are more likely to internalize guilt. And when explaining, analyzing events, they attribute a causal relationship to personal characteristics, and not to external forces. In many situations, this can be useful for self-assessment. For example, a flattering assessment of the work done helps such people feel better about themselves and their abilities. But in a traumatic situation, their tendency to look for a role in everything is destructive, because they can blame themselves even for those events that were the result of a tragic combination of circumstances.
The following factors may also increase the risk that a person will experience survivor guilt:
- events associated with a direct or indirect danger to life.
- People who are already depressed or who have experienced it in the past are more likely to experience guilt and anxiety.
- People with low self-esteem, being involved in or witnessing traumatic events where there are victims and victims, tend to wonder if they "deserved" their luck.
This is a direct path to guilt for surviving. - Survivor guilt symptoms are also commonly experienced by people who lack social support - family, friends, work.
- Oddly enough, people who prefer to hide their heads in the sand in a traumatic situation are more susceptible to post-traumatic stress and "survivor's guilt": they intentionally distance themselves from ongoing events and wishful thinking.
How to get rid of guilt
- Allow yourself any emotions . Once again: any emotions. Deep down inside, do you feel relief and joy that you are alive? Allow yourself to experience these feelings openly. It is your right and you are really lucky. Do you want to be sad, cry? Do not forbid yourself this. Have pity on yourself, let yourself experience pain and fear, do not hesitate to ask for support and sympathy if you need it. Because in some situations, “just living” is itself a stressful and potentially traumatic experience.
- Soberly analyze the causes of what happened or is happening . What is your direct involvement in traumatic events? Have you become the cause of natural disasters that claimed the lives of people? Did you start a war? Have your words, behavior, actions driven a loved one to suicide? Then why are you taking responsibility for it?
- Focus on the external factors that led to the event . Turning your attention to the external variables that created the situation can help get rid of self-blame.
- Do not be silent, do not keep your experiences in yourself . Share what you feel with loved ones. This is necessary at least in order to understand that you are not alone, and there are people nearby who may experience the same feelings.
- What you feel is normal . Feeling guilty does not mean being really guilty. Sadness, fear, anxiety, grief, and yes, guilt are all perfectly normal reactions during and after traumatic events.
But just as normal as mourning losses is rejoicing that life goes on for you.
If guilt prevents you from living a normal life, deprives you of sleep, appetite, interest in life, work, study, do not try to "endure" your condition, seek help from a psychotherapist.
Survivor Guilt Therapy
If you are experiencing the symptoms described above and are driven by guilt for continuing to live while others have died or are in potential danger, it is important to get appropriate therapeutic support . “Doing nothing” in this situation will not only worsen your mental well-being and quality of life, but it can also pose a serious risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder. In fact, the guilt associated with lived trauma is closely related to suicidal thoughts.
Quite effective in dealing with guilt cognitive behavioral therapy . The essence of the technique lies in the fact that with the participation of a psychotherapist, a person explores and analyzes subjective negative thoughts that contribute to his feelings of guilt.
