Vampire energy definition

10 Signs to Watch For and How to Deal with Them

Energy vampires are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Energy vampires can be anywhere and anyone. They can be your spouse or your best friend. They can be your cubicle mate or your neighbor.

Learning how to identify and respond to this toxic behavior can help you preserve your energy and protect yourself from a great deal of emotional — and physical — distress.

Read on to learn more about how an energy vampire acts and what you can do next.

Energy vampires are often charismatic. They may slink out of trouble when problems arise because of this charm.

They’re crafty and may pin problems on someone else in almost every situation.

They never accept culpability for their role in any disagreement or issue. You’re often left holding the guilt — and possibly the blame.

For example:

“I can’t believe no one could get this right. What an embarrassment!”
“I just sat there. He kept getting angry at me, and I still don’t know what I did.”

Energy vampires always find themselves in the middle of a catastrophe, flailing from target to target with their emotional and dramatic behavior.

When they’ve landed on you, they fling this drama onto you in hopes you’ll absorb it, fix it, and right their ship.

For example:

“Why am I always the one everyone gets mad at? I don’t deserve this.”
“I just can’t take this anymore. I didn’t do anything to Ellen, but she’s stopped talking to me. Why can’t everyone be as kind as you?”

An energy vampire never likes to be outdone, and they aren’t keen to share the spotlight. This is one of their many narcissistic tendencies.

They struggle to feel genuine happiness for another person. Instead, they prefer to pull energy to feed their emotional demands.

For example:

“That’s really good news. I actually applied for a new job today, too, and I really need some help with my resume. Do you mind looking it over?”
“So proud of you! Only three more certifications to go to catch up with me!”

Energy vampires feed off your emotional energy. And if you’re sad or upset, your energy supplies are dwindling.

To drain the most energy from you, energy vampires will shift the attention of the discussion to themselves, turning your dismay into their emotional buffet.

For example:

“I know your job doesn’t pay well, but at least your job is fun. You have to help me find a new one.”
“You’re super swamped at work, and I get it, but I really, really need to talk to you tonight about this issue with Mark.”

Energy vampires place their problems squarely on the shoulders of other people. They take no responsibility for their contributions to their difficulties.

What they’re seeking is emotional support to boost their self-esteem.

For example:

“He’s always so unreasonable. I do the best I can, but it’s just never enough.”
“This day started off bad and it only got worse.”

People who are sensitive and compassionate are prime targets for energy vampires. You offer a listening ear, a kind heart, and endless energy.

In that way, energy vampires use your very nature against you, draining you of your vitality.

For example:

They monopolize your time at every social occasion so they can have as much of your energy as they can get.
They know you’ll feel guilty turning them down for coffee or a dinner date, so they ask regularly.

Energy vampires often rely on guilt trips to get what they want. They know shame is a great weapon against people who are compassionate and caring.

Likewise, ultimatums are an effective way to capture a person’s attention and coerce them into doing something they otherwise may not want to do.

For example:

“I don’t know how you expect me to make it without you. I’ll fall apart.”
“If you really care for me, you’ll call him and tell him how much I love him.”

Codependency is a type of relationship where every action is designed to elicit a certain reaction from the other individual.

It’s a vicious cycle of behavior, but energy vampires rarely recognize that they’re in them.

They use these relationships — often romantic ones — to continue spinning a cycle of drama and emotional need.

For example:

“I know this isn’t a good relationship, but it’s so much better than trying to get over him and learn to date again.”
“If I just ignore him for a few days, he’ll totally beg for forgiveness and come crawling back.”

At their core, energy vampires are often insecure. They may use dehumanizing tactics and criticisms to keep their “prey” insecure, too.

In this state, you feel like you owe them your attention and should continue to work to stop the unwarranted attacks.

For example:

“I was too stupid to expect better from you. Everyone else treats me like garbage, so why not you?”
“You were in over your head from the beginning, and I told you that.”

One step removed from criticizing or bullying you, intimidation is a tool some energy vampires turn to when they need to stir up some emotional fodder.

Fear is a very strong emotional reaction. If an energy vampire can upset you, they can bolster their ego.

For example:

“I won’t tell you this again and again.”
“You don’t deserve a promotion. You don’t show that you even really want it.”

Energy vampires demand a lot from the people they target.

This continuous drain on your resources can have a noticeable effect on your well-being. Over time, excess stress can lead to anxiety, depression, heart disease, and more.

That’s why it’s important to recognize the behaviors and then work to remove them.

This may involve putting up walls to protect against an energy vampire’s efforts — or removing the person from your life entirely.

The ideas below may not work for everyone. Try them and mold your approach as you go until you’re able to feel in control and protected.

Establish boundaries

Although this may be easier said than done at first, you can and should develop areas of your life where you won’t allow an energy vampire to enter.

Don’t agree to social events like dinner or coffee dates. Avoid weekend trips and other extended events where they’ll be in attendance.

At work, you can limit interactions between the two of you by not agreeing to lunches and not stopping by their desk to chat.

You may need to start small, focusing on a few areas, and then expand.

Adjust your expectations

You can’t fix an energy vampire, but you can reshape your expectations about them.

This may involve shutting off your emotional valve and not offering advice when they vent their problems to you.

This may also mean you can’t use them as any type of emotional release either. They’ll want to reciprocate.

Don’t give them an inch

If the energy vampire calls, stops by, or texts, don’t give them the room.

Offer an excuse — “I’m too tired” or “I’m too busy” will do. You could say that you’ve got plans or don’t feel well.

When they keep interfacing with excuses and not getting the emotional energy they need, they’ll look elsewhere.

Guard your emotional capacity

Energy vampires use nonverbal cues to know when they have someone on the hook. Your facial expression, the way you lean in, how you clasp your hands — an energy vampire can take these as signs of your investment.

If you instead offer stone-faced responses and only offer short statement to their questions, you won’t open yourself up to their demands, and you can reserve your energy for you.

Cut them out entirely

In most cases, you have the freedom to excise this person from your life entirely. This may seem dramatic, but you have to remember that you’re protecting yourself in the end.

By recognizing these behaviors and trying to put an end to it, you’re protecting yourself, your health, and your overall well-being.

No one deserves to be mistreated or used in this manner. It’s certainly not your fault.

Some people refuse to accept responsibility for their own emotional maturity — and that isn’t your burden to bear.

10 Signs to Watch For and How to Deal with Them

Energy vampires are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Energy vampires can be anywhere and anyone. They can be your spouse or your best friend. They can be your cubicle mate or your neighbor.

Learning how to identify and respond to this toxic behavior can help you preserve your energy and protect yourself from a great deal of emotional — and physical — distress.

Read on to learn more about how an energy vampire acts and what you can do next.

Energy vampires are often charismatic. They may slink out of trouble when problems arise because of this charm.

They’re crafty and may pin problems on someone else in almost every situation.

They never accept culpability for their role in any disagreement or issue. You’re often left holding the guilt — and possibly the blame.

For example:

“I can’t believe no one could get this right. What an embarrassment!”
“I just sat there. He kept getting angry at me, and I still don’t know what I did.”

Energy vampires always find themselves in the middle of a catastrophe, flailing from target to target with their emotional and dramatic behavior.

When they’ve landed on you, they fling this drama onto you in hopes you’ll absorb it, fix it, and right their ship.

For example:

“Why am I always the one everyone gets mad at? I don’t deserve this.”
“I just can’t take this anymore. I didn’t do anything to Ellen, but she’s stopped talking to me. Why can’t everyone be as kind as you?”

An energy vampire never likes to be outdone, and they aren’t keen to share the spotlight. This is one of their many narcissistic tendencies.

They struggle to feel genuine happiness for another person. Instead, they prefer to pull energy to feed their emotional demands.

For example:

“That’s really good news. I actually applied for a new job today, too, and I really need some help with my resume. Do you mind looking it over?”
“So proud of you! Only three more certifications to go to catch up with me!”

Energy vampires feed off your emotional energy. And if you’re sad or upset, your energy supplies are dwindling.

To drain the most energy from you, energy vampires will shift the attention of the discussion to themselves, turning your dismay into their emotional buffet.

For example:

“I know your job doesn’t pay well, but at least your job is fun. You have to help me find a new one. ”
“You’re super swamped at work, and I get it, but I really, really need to talk to you tonight about this issue with Mark.”

Energy vampires place their problems squarely on the shoulders of other people. They take no responsibility for their contributions to their difficulties.

What they’re seeking is emotional support to boost their self-esteem.

For example:

“He’s always so unreasonable. I do the best I can, but it’s just never enough.”
“This day started off bad and it only got worse.”

People who are sensitive and compassionate are prime targets for energy vampires. You offer a listening ear, a kind heart, and endless energy.

In that way, energy vampires use your very nature against you, draining you of your vitality.

For example:

They monopolize your time at every social occasion so they can have as much of your energy as they can get.
They know you’ll feel guilty turning them down for coffee or a dinner date, so they ask regularly.

Energy vampires often rely on guilt trips to get what they want. They know shame is a great weapon against people who are compassionate and caring.

Likewise, ultimatums are an effective way to capture a person’s attention and coerce them into doing something they otherwise may not want to do.

For example:

“I don’t know how you expect me to make it without you. I’ll fall apart.”
“If you really care for me, you’ll call him and tell him how much I love him.”

Codependency is a type of relationship where every action is designed to elicit a certain reaction from the other individual.

It’s a vicious cycle of behavior, but energy vampires rarely recognize that they’re in them.

They use these relationships — often romantic ones — to continue spinning a cycle of drama and emotional need.

For example:

“I know this isn’t a good relationship, but it’s so much better than trying to get over him and learn to date again. ”
“If I just ignore him for a few days, he’ll totally beg for forgiveness and come crawling back.”

At their core, energy vampires are often insecure. They may use dehumanizing tactics and criticisms to keep their “prey” insecure, too.

In this state, you feel like you owe them your attention and should continue to work to stop the unwarranted attacks.

For example:

“I was too stupid to expect better from you. Everyone else treats me like garbage, so why not you?”
“You were in over your head from the beginning, and I told you that.”

One step removed from criticizing or bullying you, intimidation is a tool some energy vampires turn to when they need to stir up some emotional fodder.

Fear is a very strong emotional reaction. If an energy vampire can upset you, they can bolster their ego.

For example:

“I won’t tell you this again and again.”
“You don’t deserve a promotion. You don’t show that you even really want it. ”

Energy vampires demand a lot from the people they target.

This continuous drain on your resources can have a noticeable effect on your well-being. Over time, excess stress can lead to anxiety, depression, heart disease, and more.

That’s why it’s important to recognize the behaviors and then work to remove them.

This may involve putting up walls to protect against an energy vampire’s efforts — or removing the person from your life entirely.

The ideas below may not work for everyone. Try them and mold your approach as you go until you’re able to feel in control and protected.

Establish boundaries

Although this may be easier said than done at first, you can and should develop areas of your life where you won’t allow an energy vampire to enter.

Don’t agree to social events like dinner or coffee dates. Avoid weekend trips and other extended events where they’ll be in attendance.

At work, you can limit interactions between the two of you by not agreeing to lunches and not stopping by their desk to chat.

You may need to start small, focusing on a few areas, and then expand.

Adjust your expectations

You can’t fix an energy vampire, but you can reshape your expectations about them.

This may involve shutting off your emotional valve and not offering advice when they vent their problems to you.

This may also mean you can’t use them as any type of emotional release either. They’ll want to reciprocate.

Don’t give them an inch

If the energy vampire calls, stops by, or texts, don’t give them the room.

Offer an excuse — “I’m too tired” or “I’m too busy” will do. You could say that you’ve got plans or don’t feel well.

When they keep interfacing with excuses and not getting the emotional energy they need, they’ll look elsewhere.

Guard your emotional capacity

If you instead offer stone-faced responses and only offer short statement to their questions, you won’t open yourself up to their demands, and you can reserve your energy for you.

Cut them out entirely

In most cases, you have the freedom to excise this person from your life entirely. This may seem dramatic, but you have to remember that you’re protecting yourself in the end.

By recognizing these behaviors and trying to put an end to it, you’re protecting yourself, your health, and your overall well-being.

No one deserves to be mistreated or used in this manner. It’s certainly not your fault.

Some people refuse to accept responsibility for their own emotional maturity — and that isn’t your burden to bear.

How to recognize an energy vampire and protect yourself from him

February 25, 2021 Relations

Some people ruin the lives of those around them for fun and profit. Learn how to avoid falling into their trap.

Who is an energy vampire

Modern vampires have nothing to do with mysticism. This is a characteristic of people who try to use your emotions for their own personal benefit. Their methods are well thought out, and therefore the energy vampire is not so easy to spot.

The most charming person who gives you positive emotions can take them a hundredfold.

Rational advice is most often not perceived by such people. They also constantly criticize everything, devalue our achievements, do not respect other people's borders.

How to recognize an energy vampire

There are several signs by which an energy vampire can be recognized in advance. You should not refuse friendship with a person if you notice one item from this list in his behavior. But if more than three points match, then this is a reason to be wary and take a closer look at your friend.

1. Seeks pity

One of the clear signs and a dangerous trap. We easily fall into the networks of an energy vampire when we do him a favor. There is always something to be sorry for.

After an act of mercy, we feel like heroes, saviors, we feel a surge of pride. Behind these positive emotions, we do not notice how much attention began to be paid to a person, his complaints began to cross all reasonable boundaries, and the demands to regret became more and more insistent and dangerous.

2. He considers everyone around him to be guilty of his troubles

Vampires are always surrounded by solid villains: a cruel mother, a grumpy wife, a mercenary mistress, stupid children and a tyrant boss. For these people, everyone around is to blame for their troubles, except for themselves.

Any inaccurate word and you already become an enemy. The vampire constantly creates feelings of guilt among friends and interlocutors. If you feel guilty only from the memories of a person, then you have a vampire in front of you.

Elizaveta Efremova

psychologist, expert of the Russian School of Management on personal effectiveness

A social contract is an exchange of resources between people. When a person revels in self-pity instead of asking for a raise or quitting, they want to keep listening. Such interaction can be convenient for both parties.

3. Provokes quarrels and fights

Negative attention is also attention. An energy vampire enjoys using this rule in life. To provoke quarrels, to be emotionally offended, to wave his fists at the slightest pretext - this is about him.

4. Likes to weave intrigues

Gossip and quarrels in any group give a special pleasure to a vampire. Rubbing himself into the confidence of everyone, he subtly feels weak points and pulls the strings so that the maximum number of people quarrel over the most dramatic reasons.

By manipulating the resentment of some and seeking pity from others, a vampire can ruin relationships even in friendly company.

5. It strikes at the most unexpected moment

The exchange of energy does not happen instantly: the energy vampire feeds on it during complaints, attention, quarrels, which he skillfully staged. But there are situations that will help such a person to get enough of his own superiority for a long time. The less you wait for a catch, the stronger your frustration and energy exchange will be.

6. Goes to extremes

An indirect sign by which it is easy to recognize an energy vampire: he is prone to extremes. Such people play extreme sports, get married on the second day after they met, and break ties with loved ones after a tiny quarrel, because they lack their own emotions.

How to protect yourself from an energy vampire

The first step is to recognize him. But there are a few more tips that will not save you from virtuoso vampirism, but will save your nerves and strength, even if you have already been caught:

Learn to say no. Gently refuse to do something you don't like after the first request that you find difficult to fulfill.
Stand up for the borders. You are an adult accomplished person. No one can tell you that you did something wrong or that you have a bad temper.
Track bright emotional outbursts. Even joyful ones. In the early stages, vampires feed you positive experiences to make you bond. So they loosen your emotional swing.
Don't believe gossip. Well-concocted rumors sound quite plausible, but think about why the person is telling you all this and how your quarrel with the object of gossip will be beneficial for him.
Rely only on yourself. Getting help and support from loved ones is priceless. But it's always worth having a back-up plan in case a friend turns out to be not who he claims to be.

Did you recognize someone from your circle? Have you encountered energy vampires?

7 clear signs that the person next to you is a real monster

And even though we have long grown out of fairy tales and horror stories, the reality is that monsters and evil spirits live next to us. And we're not talking about some fantasy representation of them, no. These are the most ordinary outwardly people, they only replenish energy in very strange ways. If most people just need to lie on the couch for a day in order to recover and gain strength, energy vampires act differently. They "feed" on negative emotions, deliberately leading us to a quarrel or conflict. But is it possible to recognize an energy vampire and protect yourself from him? Yes, and we'll show you how.

What are energy vampires?

Have you ever felt empty after talking to someone? As if he sucked all the strength and positive emotions, loading them with problems? After a conversation with such an interlocutor, a feeling of weakness, doom, or even a headache may appear. If so, no congratulations - you've been talking to an energy vampire. Each person has an internal energy resource that is developed through communication, actions and emotions. It is the latter that vampire people love so much. No, they won’t bite you and drink blood like in horror stories, but it’s easy to bring you into conflict, arouse a feeling of compassion and self-pity. Energy vampires feed on negativity, thus depriving you of strength.

Specialists and esotericists distinguish three types of people somehow connected with energy thieves: vampires themselves , donors and neutrals . Let's talk a little more about each. Neutrals - a certain group of people born with strong protection. They cannot become victims and "feed" a vampire, even if he is nearby, but they will not become a monster themselves. These are emotionally strong people with confident outlooks on life. Donors are a more common unit, they serve as "food" for the vampire. Such people give away emotions, but cannot replenish energy at the expense of others. Because of this, donors need to monitor their social circle very carefully to prevent a monster from appearing in it. And, in fact, themselves vampires - people who can bring others to negative emotions and feed on them. Often, after quarrels, their mood rises, they feel a surge of strength.

There are two types of energy vampires: solar and lunar . The former behave as aggressively as possible: they lead to direct conflict, provoke scandals and frequent showdowns, and become tyrants in the family. On the street or in public places, such vampires are the instigators of showdowns, they can push into the subway and not give up their place on the road. In general, they will do everything to make you angry and somehow respond negatively. Lunar vampires act differently - they put pressure on pity and guilt. They constantly complain and say how bad they feel, wanting to hear words of support and compassion. But they won’t stop there and will constantly sit on your neck later, hoping for more consolation in their direction. That's how they eat.

Signs of an energy vampire

Modern vampires are reflected in mirrors and wear more than just black clothes. Very often you do not even suspect that there is a monster next to you. Why do people even become vampires? Esotericists believe that everything is due to a lack of innate internal energy and an unwillingness to correct it on their own. It is easier for them to "suck" to another person and replenish supplies, without particularly bothering. So how do you recognize an energy vampire so you don't "feed" it with energy next time? Very simple - you should pay attention to the following signs.

1. Energy vampire seeks pity

A dangerous trap that both solar and lunar vampires like to set. These people always have a couple of terrible stories, because of which you want to feel sorry for such a person, to help him. Having fulfilled your seemingly sincere desires, you will feel like a hero: you helped and supported a person in a difficult situation, perhaps not only with words. But they didn’t notice at all how the trick worked and you spent too much time and attention on the interlocutor, who from time to time comes to you with new problems.

2. A person loves gossip and intrigue

A day is spent in vain if it was not possible to get new gossip or start an intrigue. Energy vampires do not like when everything around is calm and peaceful, so they often become a source of gossip in the team. They subtly feel the weak points of people and know where to hit. In addition, they feed on negativity, so everything is logical.

3. There is always some drama going on in the life of energy vampires

Black PR is also PR, which means attention to yourself. Vampires often play the victim, telling colleagues and friends about how hard life is for them. Everything in the life of such people is not thank God, and almost every day something terrible happens. And this is done for only one purpose - to replenish your energy with your compassion and partially solve problems at your expense. Did you listen? Now help with difficulties.

4. Man is an obvious provocateur

As we have already said, vampires need to feed on the negative emotions of those around them. And the fastest way to get them is to provoke a person into a conflict. An energy vampire can either independently participate in quarrels and fights, or play people against each other and enjoy the spectacle from the outside.

5. Vampires don't take responsibility

Like most "parasites", energy vampires have learned to deftly manipulate others and shift the responsibility onto donors. After all, it often happens that these monsters are charismatic people who know how to build innocents out of themselves and convince them that they are right.

6. Energy vampire constantly competes

Such people often occupy leadership positions not only because of easy access to "food" (after all, you can always yell at an objectionable subordinate), but also because they hate to feel worse or lower than others. An energy vampire will never give you normal praise. But if you hear words of approval from his side, get ready to find out next that the vampire, in fact, has been able and knows all this for a long time. And you're done, now a little closer to his level.

7. An energy vampire often goes to extremes

Another indirect sign that a person you know is an energy vampire is his risky behavior and going from one extreme to another. Often such people are engaged in extreme sports, lead a risky lifestyle and are capable of completely unpredictable behavior. Esotericists attribute this to the vampire's lack of the amount of emotions he needs, which the monster compensates for in such ways.

How to protect yourself from an energy vampire

Let's say you managed to recognize an energy vampire, what should you do now? How to protect yourself from it and is it possible at all? Of course. But it all depends on the specific case. If an acquaintance or colleague turned out to be an energy vampire in your environment, learn to better defend personal boundaries and say "no" . You can even avoid spending too much time with your vampire by not having lunch together at work and seeing your vampire friend no more than once a week.

Learn more