What makes counseling effective

Characteristics of Effective Counseling and Counselors

Counseling, therapy, and psychology are often stereotyped by society with misconceptions and stigma.

However, effective therapy, quality counseling, and psychotherapy are about a relationship, developing skills, learning techniques, and improving the concept we have of ourselves and the world around us.

Effective counseling helps relieve distress, build resilience, improve self-esteem, and ultimately improve lives. The more successful this process is, the easier it is to prove misconceptions wrong and see and accept therapy and counseling in their true light.

So then, let’s look at some of the characteristics, traits, and techniques of effective counselors.

Before you continue, you might like to download a few Positive Psychology Exercises for free. These science-based exercises explore fundamental aspects of positive psychology, including strengths, values, and self-compassion, and will give you the tools to enhance the wellbeing of your clients, students, or employees.

This Article Contains:

3 Characteristics of Counseling
6 Characteristics of a Good Counselor
What Is Non-Directive Counseling?
Group Counseling Session Characteristics
Common Characteristics of Clients
A Take-Home Message
References

3 Characteristics of Counseling

Counseling is a process between a client and therapist to explore difficulties, learn to see things clearly, and facilitate positive change (Sexton, 1996).

The process is built on a relationship of trust, confidentiality, and mutual respect. The practice of counseling has roots in humanistic, behavioral, and cognitive traditions. All of which are also seen and utilized in positive psychology.

There is plenty of research to support practical approaches to counseling. The term “best practices” signifies that empirical evidence supports the effectiveness of specific approaches and techniques.

Evidence-based counseling supports both the art/science and the research/practice components of the field. Research clearly supports the benefits of individual, group, and family counseling for a wide variety of issues.

It is specifically important to match certain client problems with specific counseling approaches to obtain the best outcome (Sexton, 1996).

Theoretical orientation and effective counseling

A few common factors of effective counseling matter a great deal more than the specific theoretical orientation. Theoretical orientations can, however, emphasize the environment/background, emotions, behavior, or thoughts.

Psychoanalysis, as well as Jungian and Alderian psychology, are theoretical orientations that emphasize background.

Emotion-based theoretical approaches are Rogerian (or person-centered psychology), existential psychology, and gestalt therapy.

Cognitive therapy and rational-emotive behavioral therapy focus on thoughts.

Approaches that focus on thoughts and behaviors include Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and solution-focused brief therapy.

Common factors

Lambert (1991) found that 30% of effective counseling outcomes come from “common factors” – 15% from the client’s expectations and 15% from specific psychological techniques.

The common factors can be broken down into three broad areas:

The value of learning or psychoeducation. This is done through affective experiencing, correcting emotional experiences, and skill acquisition.
The supportive value of a collaborative counseling relationship, or what Carl Rogers called the therapeutic alliance.
Action occurs through behavior change, creating successful experiences, behavior regulation, and mastery.

Psychoeducation

Psychoeducation is the process of providing information to individuals in therapy.

When people understand mental health conditions, the benefits of specific treatments, and research supporting coping techniques, they develop an internal locus of control to work toward mental and emotional wellbeing.

Most clients have little knowledge about mental and emotional health nor what to expect from therapy. Basic education of mental and emotional issues can lead to a better understanding of how techniques can be implemented to relieve distress and improve overall wellness.

Counselors can provide this education via both a combination of face-to-face teaching and skills-training, as well as by encouraging their clients to engage with psychoeducational interventions in between counseling sessions. In this sense, psychoeducation may serve to supplement and support aspects of the counseling process.

For instance, using a blended care counseling app such as Quenza, counselors can share self-paced reflection exercises, guided audio meditations, and a range of other activities with their clients digitally. Clients can complete these at their own pace using their smartphone or tablet, potentially having a range of benefits for furthering their learning and progress toward their goals.

One study showed that when psychoeducation was administered to patients with schizophrenia, it helped reduce hospitalization rates and decreased the number of days the patient spent in the hospital (Bauml, Frobose, Kraemer, Rentrop, & Pitschel-Walz, 2006).

Therapeutic alliance

Carl Rogers outlined the factors necessary for developing the therapeutic alliance in 1957. Rogers (1957) states that a counselor must be genuinely engaged in the therapeutic relationship, have unconditional positive regard, feel empathy, and communicate these attitudes.

The therapeutic alliance is also described as the relational factor in counseling that includes goal consensus, collaboration of counseling-related tasks, and emotional bonding (Meyers, 2014). The first impression and early formation of the therapeutic alliance has been shown to be one of the most significant predictors of psychotherapy success (Horvath, 2001).

This positive bond involves mutual trust, liking, respect, and caring and includes establishing goals for therapy that both parties are equally committed to achieving. It creates a sense of shared responsibility and investment in the process.

Additionally, Hill and Knox (2001) explain that this relationship evolves as a counselor uses appropriate techniques that intensify client engagement, increase therapist influence, and thereby strengthen the alliance. Supportive and engaging procedures allow the client to become more involved in the process.

Behavior change

Behavior change is a critical component of the counseling process. Creating a strategy for behavior change is a crucial component of every established type of therapy, including CBT, person-centered therapy, and even psychoanalysis (Schueller, 2009).

Behavior change can be accomplished through emotional arousal, commitment, and environmental regulation.

Consciousness raising is a great starting point for clients. This approach invites clients to explore where they are, how their actions and attitudes influence their emotions and health, and what they want to become.

Another effective way to create behavior change is self-reevaluation. Examining a client’s core beliefs with this core belief worksheet is an excellent way to begin self-reevaluation.

6 Characteristics of a Good Counselor

There are six personal characteristics that are critical for good counselors and should be improved upon continually.

These include having good interpersonal skills and being trustworthy, flexible, hopeful/optimistic, culturally sensitive, and self-aware.

1. Interpersonal skills

Counselors must be able to express themselves clearly and effectively. It is important not only to be able to educate clients about therapeutic topics, but also to gauge the client’s understanding at any given time.

Being able to sense what clients are thinking and feeling and relate to them by showing warmth, acceptance, and empathy are cornerstones of effective therapy. You can learn about and improve interpersonal skills and empathy by downloading our Emotional Intelligence Exercises.

2. Trust

According to Hill and Knox (2001), most people determine whether they can trust someone within 50 milliseconds of meeting them. Counselors must be able to communicate verbally and nonverbally that they are trustworthy.

Clients need to feel comfortable sharing private, confidential information and parts of themselves that are often entirely unknown by others. Having faith in the quality of the relationship and the confidentiality of what is disclosed leads to a deeper connection with the therapist.

3. Flexibility

A good counselor will create a meaningful treatment plan that is individualized for each client. This means the counselor shouldn’t follow a rigid schedule of treatment or have a “one size fits all” approach.

Prochaska and Norcross (2001) found that some treatments are better than others for specific types of disorders. Matching the treatment to the client’s stage of readiness is the most effective way to implement therapeutic techniques. Additionally, counselors need to be able to adapt and change course if treatment is not working for the client.

4. Hope and optimism

Hope is a wonderful motivator. Effective counselors can find a balance between realism and hope.

A good counselor will set realistic goals that engage the client and inspire a more optimistic outlook.

As attainable goals are reached, clients will develop a sense of resilience and confidence that can help in all areas of life. These traits are why positive psychology is such an effective method of improving emotional health.

5. Multicultural sensitivity

The American Psychological Association recommends that therapists adapt treatment to a client’s cultural values and show respect for differences, beliefs, and attitudes.

When working with clients, it is important to be educated and sensitive to issues of race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, and cultural background.

6. Self-awareness

An effective counselor can separate personal issues from those of the client. Countertransference is a phenomenon described by Freud where issues expressed by a client lead to an emotional reaction of the therapist.

When counselors can identify and manage responses to their own issues, they will be less likely to react to them during sessions, and it will eliminate any detrimental effects on therapy.

Part of self-awareness is the ability to know how much information should be disclosed to clients. This will vary on a case-by-case basis, but professional boundaries, personal insight, and the ability to read others are integral parts of this.

What is Non-Directive Counseling?

Non-directive counseling is all about the client.

It is also known as client-centered therapy.

It is a type of treatment where the therapist avoids giving advice or interpreting what they hear so that the client can discover things about themselves with minimal guidance.

Rogers (1961) developed non-directive counseling as a more humane way to help with mental health than psychoanalysis or behavioral techniques. He proposed that therapists should be permissive and seek to understand the client’s feelings.

This client-centered therapy should focus on a client’s direct experiences and consciousness. Rogers (1961) stated that people tend toward self-actualization, which motivates them. Read our related blog post, which provides more guidance and gives practical tools for self-actualization.

For non-directive therapy to be successful, six conditions need to be met (Rogers, 1961). The first three are for the therapist to have empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard for the client.

The other three conditions are:

A strong therapeutic alliance
A client who is emotionally upset or in a state of incongruence
A client who can know the counselor has unconditional positive regard

Most people can benefit from this counseling approach, but individuals who are more educated seem to adapt to the non-directive style more easily (Guilbeault, 2020). Clients should also enter the counseling setting with the right motivation and an approach that desires change and optimal wellbeing.

Counselor assumptions

The most important assumptions a counselor can bring to non-directive therapy are that humans are fundamentally good, that they desire healing and positive change, and that they have what they need within themselves to change their self-concept, attitudes, and behaviors (Rogers, 1961).

Above all else, there is a concept of fundamental human goodness and the belief that clients have the ability and potential to change.

Group Counseling Session Characteristics

The group dynamic in counseling can help remind people that they are not alone.

Group counseling sessions are led by at least one qualified therapist and usually include 5–12 group members who share the same mental health issues or common goals.

Group counseling is a common way to address everything from addiction to anxiety, parenting, grief/loss, anger management, and building self-esteem. Read our group therapy article for more in-depth insight into the intricacies and potential benefits of group therapy.

Two approaches to group counseling

Of the various types of counseling groups, most can be divided into two main approaches.

A psychoeducational group provides members with information regarding specific issues and is led by a qualified therapist. The therapist or counselor directs group meetings, sets goals, and delivers content through instruction. As the counselor takes on the role of a teacher, the relationship between group members becomes less important.

On the other hand, process-oriented groups emphasize the group experience. The counselor is a facilitator rather than a teacher and leads the group in discussion. As members discuss and share group activities, they gain a sense of belonging and self-confidence.

Common Characteristics of Clients

Clients bring the sum of their experiences as well as their current state into the therapeutic relationship. Client expectations, behaviors, and actions have a direct correlation to how effective counseling will be for them.

A client’s temperament, knowledge of relationships, ability to trust, stress/tolerance level, and cultural norms play a role in the counseling process. While race, gender, culture, and religion are all important “big picture” client characteristics, there are a few subtle characteristics that counselors should be aware of at the start of therapy.

Readiness to change

One of the most important predictors of successful therapy is the client’s readiness to change. Prochaska and Norcross (2001) developed the Transtheoretical Model of therapeutic change, which moves through precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.

The following diagram is from PsychCentral:

Prochaska and Norcross (2001) recommend that therapists assess the client’s stage of change and tailor interventions accordingly.

They estimate that 10–20% of clients are prepared for action, 30–40% are in contemplation, and 50–60% are in the precontemplation stage and need psychoeducation before any therapeutic interventions.

See more: The 6 Stages of Change: Worksheets for Helping Your Clients

Deference

Deference is the client’s submission to the thoughts, opinions, and ideas of another person (in this case, the counselor) who is seen as “superior.”

In the therapeutic relationship, the counselor is generally considered more expert than the client, which creates a power dynamic. This dynamic is often overlooked in counseling research and education.

Being deferential to the counselor is a client’s way of protecting the therapeutic alliance, but it can be detrimental if it suppresses the client’s opinions and desires (Rennie, 1994). Being aware that clients can be susceptible to deference may help counselors avoid conflict that comes from a client not feeling good enough or worthy of positive results in therapy.

Self-awareness

A client’s self-awareness plays a considerable role in the strength of the therapeutic alliance and the success of therapy.

Self-awareness allows clients to set achievable goals based on their personal strengths and weaknesses. It also allows clients to make positive behavior changes and experience better personal and interpersonal relationships.

If clients come to counseling without self-awareness, that may be the first place to start with them. Our article on self-awareness explains the benefits it provides and offers practical ideas for strengthening it.

Self-disclosure

Most individuals struggle to share difficult parts of themselves. Still, for anything to get accomplished in counseling, a client must be willing to self-disclose personal information, feelings, and insights.

Farber, Berano, and Capobianco (1997) found that about half of clients keep secrets from their therapists. Lack of self-disclosure occurs most often in relationship issues, sexual problems, and perceived personal failures. This indicates that embarrassment, shame, and fear are significant deterrents for clients opening up.

The longer a client is in counseling, and the stronger the therapeutic alliance becomes, the more willing they will be to disclose information.

A Take-Home Message

Perhaps Dr. Ili Rivera Walter said it best:

Success as a therapist is not in doing something for the client, but rather being someone for the client.

When we can accept others as they are, meet them where they are, and have the self-awareness to be with them in their journey, true healing can occur.

Counseling is more than a profession; it is a science and an art. It is a relationship and a pathway that allows others to reach their full potential and truly experience life.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free.

Bauml, J., Frobose, T., Kraemer, S., Rentrop, M., & Pitschel-Walz, F. (2006). Psychoeducation: A basic psychotherapeutic intervention for patients with schizophrenia and their families. Schizophrenia Bulletin, 32, 11–19.
Farber, B., Berano, K., & Capobianco, J. (2004). Clients’ perceptions of the process and consequences of self-disclosure in psychotherapy. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 51, 340–346.
Guilbeault, L. (2020). What is the therapist’s role in non-directive therapy? Better Help. Retrieved August 4, 2020 from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/what-is-the-therapists-role-in-nondirective-therapy/
Hill, C., & Knox, S. (2001). Self-disclosure. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 38, 413–417.
Horvath, A. (2001). The alliance. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 38, 365–372.
Lambert, M. J. (1991). Introduction to psychotherapy research. Psychotherapy Research: An International Review of Programmatic Studies. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Meyers, L. (2014). Connecting with clients. Counseling Today, 18. Retrieved August 2020 from www.ct.counseling.org/2014/08/connecting-with-clients/#
Prochaska, J., & Norcross, J. (2001). Stages of change. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 38, 443–448.
Rennie, D. (1994). Clients’ accounts of resistance in counseling: A qualitative analysis. Canadian Journal of Counseling, 28, 43–57.
Rogers, C. (1957). The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21, 95–103.
Rogers, C. (1961). On becoming a person: A therapist’s view of psychotherapy. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin.
Schueller, S. M. (2009). Promoting wellness: Integrating community and positive psychology. Journal of Community Psychology, 37, 922–937.
Sexton, T. L. (1996). The relevance of counseling outcome research: Current trends and practical implications. Journal of Counseling and Development, 74, 590–600.

The Characteristics of Effective Counseling

If you’re seeking therapy or know someone who is, learning what is and is not effective in counseling can help you with your search.

When looking for a mental health professional — especially for the first time — it’s not that strange to wonder: “What do I even look for?”

With so many types of counseling services and counselors, knowing where to start isn’t exactly intuitive. Plus, it can feel overwhelming to find a counselor if you’re in the midst of a difficult experience or having symptoms of a mental health condition.

If you’re seeking counseling, it can help to know what makes a good therapist and how to make the most of your sessions.

Many mental health conditions and concerns benefit from specific therapies. For instance, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a highly effective talk therapy for depression and anxiety disorders.

But a therapist’s expertise in certain therapy types isn’t the only thing that makes counseling effective. After all, anyone can benefit from counseling.

Another key factor in counseling’s effectiveness — perhaps the most important one — is the relationship between client and clinician.

If your therapist is skilled in CBT, they may know exactly how to help you reframe unhelpful thought patterns and change behaviors. But if they don’t know how to gain your trust and genuinely connect with you, your sessions will be much less effective.

In fact, a 2018 article from the American Psychological Association’s (APA) journal, Psychotherapy, outlines how the therapy relationship is critical for making improvements in therapy.

It’s important that the therapist-client relationship is based on collaboration — where both therapist and client are equal partners in the therapy process.

This means that together, you and your therapist come up with goals and expectations for your treatment so you remain on the same page.

Overarching goals might include everything from setting boundaries to finding a new job to reducing your alcohol intake or managing depression symptoms.

An effective therapy relationship also includes resolving issues that arise. As in any relationship, you’ll run into disagreements in therapy — sometimes called therapy ruptures.

Research in 2018 suggests that resolving these ruptures can lead to better outcomes for you.

A “good” counselor is a mental health professional who supports you in making progress in your life and goals, whether that’s helping you overcome fears or improving your sense of self.

According to an APA article on continuing education, there are various qualities that can set a counselor a part from others to create better outcomes in therapy.

These characteristics include:

being flexible and tailoring treatment to each person based on their cultural background, preferences, gender and sexual identity, and religious beliefs
empathizing with the client or being sensitive to their emotions and experiences
gathering feedback from the client and using that information to change up and improve treatment
being genuine and consistent in their words and emotions
expressing their genuine emotions, when appropriate
managing their own emotions during therapy

A mental health professional can be a good counselor for one person — but not a good fit for someone else. At its core, therapy is about a genuine connection between you and your therapist.

When trying to figure out whether a counselor is good for you, consider asking:

Do I feel comfortable with this person?
Do I feel heard and understood?
Does the therapist interrupt me when I’m talking?
Do they make critical or judgmental comments?
Do they take my feedback into account or brush off my concerns and perspective?
Can I make the changes I’d like to make with this counselor’s help and support?

Therapy is going to benefit you the most when you’re an active participant in your treatment. So, you might find therapy more effective when you:

show up to almost all your appointments, and on time
are honest with your therapist, even about what you’re afraid to say
give your therapist feedback about the therapy process, including what you find helpful and not so helpful
work with your therapist to set goals for change
work on the skills you’re learning in therapy outside of therapy
keep going to therapy, even when it becomes difficult or uncomfortable

Some of these things can be hard from time to time. That doesn’t mean you’re a “bad” client, unmotivated, or that there’s anything wrong with you.

You likely have a good reason for why you’re not making as much progress as you would like, such as:

a past bad experience in therapy
history of trauma that makes it tough to open up to anyone
an undiagnosed mental health condition, such as depression, an anxiety disorder, or substance use disorder
feeling overwhelmed about making changes

If you find yourself getting stuck in therapy, consider exploring why. When you can name what’s standing in your way, you can address it and move forward.

That might mean talking with your therapist about changing your goals or finding a different therapist that’s a better match for you. Just because one therapist is not right for you, it does not mean another one won’t be a good fit.

Either way, try to be honest with yourself and your therapist. This is not easy, but even taking the smallest step toward expressing what’s going on can lead to tremendous growth.

Being vulnerable with people you don’t know, at least initially, may seem awkward and even overwhelming. But group therapy can be a positive, transformative experience.

In group therapy, you can:

realize you’re not alone in your experiences and struggles
gain validation for your feelings and symptoms
acquire valuable skills to reduce and manage symptoms
learn from individuals who have different perspectives
constructively give and receive feedback from others
become a better listener

But like in one-on-one therapy, not all groups are created equal.

As in any meaningful, fulfilling relationship, trust and unity are essential ingredients of effective group therapy. In psychology, this is called “group cohesion.”

Group cohesion occurs when:

group members have similar challenges and struggles
group members communicate openly and honestly with each other
you feel a sense of belonging within the group
disagreements are promptly and effectively resolved

Effective counseling is built on a strong relationship with your therapist. This can take time.

A good counselor will be empathetic, tailor treatments to your needs, and foster collaboration. Together, you come up with goals and expectations for therapy.

A good therapist will also not judge you or cross your boundaries.

However, sometimes a good counselor just isn’t a good counselor for you. If you sense your therapist isn’t a match, try to pinpoint why.

In some cases, talking it over with them can help to resolve any miscommunication or challenges. In other cases, you may just want to move on and find a different counselor to work with.

If you’re looking for mental health support, but you’re not sure where to start, you can check out Psych Central’s Find Help page.

Want to read more? Check these out:

Individual consultations: a look at the problem from the outside

Psychological counseling is a process of interaction between two people - a client and a consultant, based on the client's desire to change something in his life.

Psychological counseling is to help the client understand their problems and together with him find ways out of a difficult situation.

Psychological counseling is carried out in the form of face-to-face meetings between a psychologist and a client.
Psychological counseling is aimed at mentally healthy people who find themselves in a difficult life situation or who want to improve their quality of life.

The purpose of psychological counseling is to help the client solve his problem. Recognize and change ineffective behavior patterns in order to make important decisions, resolve emerging problems, achieve your goals, live in harmony with yourself and the world around you.

A psychologist helps a person to find their inner resources, to become aware of previously suppressed experiences and stereotypes of behavior. At psychological counseling, people understand the causes of their difficulties and learn to cope with them.

There is an opinion that a person "should" solve his own problems. This is true for those cases when he is really able to do it successfully. However, it should be remembered that a person does not "should" be left without help when he needs it. Accepting psychological help, especially provided as a professional service, is not at all shameful. This is the act of a strong person who cares about his health, well-being and personal efficiency.

When should I see a psychologist?

Among the main difficulties that students may face in everyday life are the following:

high workload, lack of time and lack of sleep;
dissatisfaction with the results of educational activities;
adaptation difficulties;
financial problems;
misunderstanding in the family, conflicts with classmates;
unhappy love, loneliness, etc.

In difficult moments, each person begins to worry, take everything to heart, and even, perhaps, experience physical discomfort. Therefore, it is very important that there is a specialist nearby who can listen to you, support and provide qualified assistance.

A psychologist will help you see the problem from the other side and gain self-confidence.

What will you get as a result of an individual consultation?

Lack of judgment and criticism. A psychologist is not a judge, he is a guide from a problem to a solution. His task is to help get out of a difficult situation.
Anonymity and confidentiality are the main provisions of the psychologist's code of ethics.
Help for the future. When analyzing a specific problem, you, together with a psychologist, will consider different ways out of a stressful situation, simultaneously learning new effective techniques for self-management and making decisions on your own.

We will not be able to change the world, but we will help to change the attitude towards it!

You can make an appointment for a consultation by calling +7 (963) 120-51-10.

We work on weekdays from 8.00 to 20.00, on Saturday from 9.00 to 18.00

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years of study at the Institute of Psychology and Education

Rules for effective counseling

Psychological consultation in its specificity is a very distinctive type of activity. It is not like, for example, a client's communication with a technical support specialist or a patient's doctor's appointment. The problems that come to a psychologist are very diverse and at the same time ambiguous. Therefore, the actual process of counseling often deviates from the indicative norms and algorithms indicated in the literature. The psychologist-consultant is forced to act creatively in many respects, according to the situation.

Competence is not important

As you know, in chess the opening is a standard opening. All effective openings have long been studied: the Spanish Game, the Philidor Defence, the Central Opening and others. Professional chess players start the game with one of the openings, then after some move they begin to show their own creativity. It is clear that it is easy to pretend to be a professional in a chess opening: for this you need to learn all the openings. True professionalism is visible only in the further game and its outcome.

The same goes for psychological counseling. Schemes are important, but only for some structuring of the consultation, for its standard start. The fact is that complete strangers usually come to a psychologist. And the less the psychologist knows about the client, the more standard he will behave.

Only professional competence, which includes, among other things, the development of personal qualities, determines the final result of the consultation: whether the problem will be defeated or the consultant will be defeated.

No two clients and counseling situations are the same

Human problems only from the outside and in the first approximation may seem similar, but since they arise, develop, exist in the context of unique human lives, the problems themselves are in fact unique. Therefore, each consultative interaction is unique and unrepeatable.

In this regard, one can even state an effective maxim: if it seems to the psychologist that the new client is very similar to one of the old ones (or not the clients are similar, but their situations), then this means that the psychologist has collected little information about the client, his situation.

One must be prepared for any development of the counseling situation

In the process of communicating with a psychologist, the client learns quite intensively for himself a lot of new things: about himself, about other people, about the situation. New knowledge can give rise to new emotions, and quite strong ones at the same time. New emotions - generate new ideas, goals, tasks. The psychologist cannot control (at least completely) the train of thought of the client, his feelings, therefore, one must be prepared for drastic changes in the emotional state of the client and even for manifestations of aggression.

The consultant is also a human being, relationships are formed and developed between him and the client. The client may develop friendly feelings towards the psychologist, the client may even fall in love with the psychologist. And therefore, the client can act in a situation of counseling, based not on his own interests, but on the basis of a sense of disposition. This, too, must be constantly reflected on, pushing the client to constructive interaction.

Responsible work

The client came to the psychologist. This may mean that he lacks his own mind, his own strength to solve the problem. But it can also mean that the client just wants to blame someone for making difficult decisions for himself ("It was the psychologist who told me that I should send the child to an orphanage ... get a divorce ... quit my job ... again start smoking ... slap her in the face...").

This is also important to understand. By all means it is necessary to find out: to what extent the client has developed a sense of responsibility for his own life, his own actions. If the psychologist has identified a fear of responsibility, then you can and should try to push the client to develop a sense of responsibility. But here it is important to understand that this is a nuclear trait of character, it cannot change quickly. In most cases, the client will agree only in words: "Yes, yes, I realized that it is important to take responsibility for your own life."

In many ways, the sense of responsibility is antagonistic to the hedonistic orientation of the individual. Therefore, when dealing with irresponsibility, it is best to show the positive, pleasant side in a sense of responsibility: "If you achieve this, then this will be your personal merit, your personal victory, and you will be just happy about it."

Safe working

Many clients completely open their souls to a psychologist, and do so, perhaps for the first time in their lives. Therefore, a sense of security is very, very important for them. They must be sure that the psychologist, for his part, will not "spit in their souls", that he will not gossip, that he will not spread the story he heard on the Internet.

If the client doesn't want to do something, fine. The psychologist should have an alternative approach in reserve.

A competent consultant is aware of his professional qualifications and his own shortcomings, and is responsible for adhering to the rules of ethics and working for the benefit of clients.

Waiting for effect

Usually the effect of psychological counseling is extended over time. Suppose today a psychologist managed to reconcile a married couple. But will the flames of the quarrel flare up even more in a few days? It may be vice versa, today the psychologist failed to reconcile, but several days passed - the spouses realized the words spoken by the consultant and reconciled.

Don't wait for the effect too soon. This should be understood by both the psychologist and his client. However, at the same time, it is necessary to set the client up so that he tries in every possible way to bring the day of the final solution of the problem closer.

Any consultation includes both work with a person's emotions and his mind. If you do not overcome emotional problems, then all the reasonable words of a psychologist will go nowhere. If you focus only on emotions, calming the person, but not supporting his mind, then the unrest will soon return.

Time also heals

Some problems (mostly of a crisis nature) are in principle unsolvable. A psychologist can relieve acute emotional stress, but that's all. The feeling of grief will still remain. You just have to come to terms with this. As you know, time heals mental trauma.

Literature

Kochunas R. Fundamentals of psychological counseling. M., 1999.