Mission statement for couples
A Simple Tool for a More Meaningful Relationship
We lead more meaningful lives when we think through our needs, values and purpose in this world and let those things guide our actions and decisions. The same is true for romantic relationships. Psychologist Susan Orenstein, Ph.D, helps her clients craft mission statements to become more intentional about their relationships.
She defines a mission statement as a “declaration created and agreed upon by the couple that guides their principles, goals and values.” This declaration is motivating and inspiring. It answers these questions: “What makes you a couple?” and “What do you stand for as you stand together?”
When couples create mission statements, they “explicitly share their expectations and desires with each other,” Orenstein said. They’re able to confide in each other and to build trust and open communication, she said. This is key because “when [couples] don’t directly communicate what they want and don’t want, they’ll act it out in a way that can be very confusing.
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Orenstein first heard of the concept of a couples’ mission statement from Stan Tatkin, Psy.D, the creator of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). The idea ties back to Stephen Covey, who encouraged people to create personal mission statements for their lives.
Creating a mission statement for your relationship can be powerful. “The process of discussing [the statement] is therapeutic in and of itself,” said Orenstein, a relationship expert in Cary, N.C. It helps couples “create a greater sense of purpose that will give them meaning and build a future together.”
Orenstein shared these examples of mission statements.
We agree to always love and cherish each other and recognize how fortunate we both are; each of us consider ourselves the ‘lucky one.’ We build a healthy lifestyle together, where we support each other in getting exercise, eating well, having fun, resting and relaxing. We make all important decisions together, as a team.
We don’t keep secrets from each other. We confide in each other and feel safe in each other’s care.
We’re together to build a loving family and teach our children about healthy relationships. We create a sense of stability by having some routine but also make time for fun and spontaneity. We don’t intentionally hurt each other, but recognize we still do — and so we quickly and readily apologize. We take care of each other.
If you’d like to create a mission statement as a couple, Orenstein suggested these tips:
- Explore these questions together when creating your statement: “If you and your significant other were to write your vows for a committed relationship today, what would you include? What are the deal breakers? What matters most to you? What do you want to create together? What are your dreams, your goals, your values? What are the rules of engagement [in] handling conflict? What are your agreements? How do you care for each other? What makes your relationship special, worth protecting and worth nurturing?”
- Avoid statements that are too rigid or perfectionistic.
Avoid statements that are based on obligation or shoulds. “That’s a setup for failure,” Orenstein said. She shared these examples of what not to write: “We’ll never argue” (which is “unrealistic and unhealthy”), “We’ll always remember special events like birthdays and anniversaries,” and “When I ask for sex, you should always say yes.” - Don’t make your mission statement a master to-do list. That is, don’t create a “‘honey do’ list — listing a series of requirements [or] tasks for your partner,” Orenstein said. She shared these examples: “He’ll do laundry on Fridays,” and “she’ll plan the kids’ birthday parties.”
- Avoid broad statements, such as “We’ll be happy,” “We’ll have fun,” and “We’ll communicate.”
- You don’t have to create your whole statement in one sitting. Take your time in creating a mission statement that resonates with you.
- Review your mission statement periodically. “[A]s you grow in your relationship, you might decide to allow this document to evolve.
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Creating a mission statement as a couple reinforces your connection. Again, it’s a powerful way to explore your purpose and principles.
Couple dreaming photo available from Shutterstock
Three Simple Steps to Creating Your Couples Mission Statement Together
I’ve written about the idea of mission and mission statements many times in the past. I’ve spent thousands of hours working with companies to help define their mission and purpose, and I’ve also introduced the importance of developing a personal mission statement that guides you in life. Those clear, inspired mission statements, whether they’re being used at work or personally, are powerful. They help define our destinations and provide us with clear steps and guardrails to live by on our journeys.
If that’s true, and I believe that it is, wouldn’t it make sense that a mission statement would be just as valuable for you as a couple? As we’re building a relationship together and working toward common goals, is aligning our purpose important?
The answer, without question, is yes!
As couples, a clear mission statement that we’ve created together defines the kind of relationship we want to create and how we’ll live with one another.
Before we dive into this any deeper, let me say this. I’m far from being any kind of marriage expert or guru. Instead, I’m a guy who has been divorced, remarried, and is working every day to figure out my own marriage – hustling and looking for ways to make my relationship to Cristina stronger. Some days this is easy, and I feel like I know exactly what I need to do to be a strong husband, teammate, and best friend. Other days, especially in a blended family, things are a whole lot more challenging. Just like you, I’m a work in progress. That’s why this exercise was so important to me.
After all that work with companies to help them define their missions, as well as sharing my tools for developing your personal mission statement, I finally decided to take this one step further. My friends had shared success stories with me about using my goal setting tools with their spouses, and I realized that mission statements would also be valuable to couples. With that in mind, I reworked my Personal Mission Statement Tool and created a version just for couples.
DOWNLOAD YOUR MISSION STATEMENT FOR COUPLES TOOL
Cristina and I sat down recently and took this new tool for a test drive, and the results were amazing. We got on the same page, aligned our purpose, and created a mission statement that we can use as a compass for our relationship. Best of all, we dove into some deep conversations about what we each need from our marriage and how we want to show up for each other, our family, and the world we live in.
This statement became something we can look at in the morning to set the tone for our marriage and how we will show up. Then, at the end of our day, it’s something we can use to measure our progress and stay aligned with one another. Will this statement eliminate challenges and disagreements? Not a chance. Will it help us stay aligned and get us back on track more quickly when we do encounter those struggles? Absolutely.
With that in mind, I want to share this tool with you, and walk you through how Cristina and I used it.
Start by defining your core values…
With a printed version of this tool in hand, and a fire going in the background, Cristina and I started creating our mission statement by defining our core values. To get there, the tool asked us to share 15-20 words with one another that capture our values – the things that matter to us and that we stand for. She shared some of hers, and I shared some of mine. It was an opening to great conversations about what really matters to each of us. We shared what we want from each other in our relationship, the values we each hold true, and words that describe how we want the world to see us. You can download my Mission Statement for Couples tool here to get started.
The next step in our process was to refine our list down to the four or five values that are the most important to us. In our conversations, we included words like fun, adventure, and a hyphenated word “trying-new-things” – yes, you can break the rules here a bit! “Adventure” was the word we ended up adding to our final five core values since it captured fun and trying-new-things as well.
Narrowing down your own list by looking for these same similarities, you’ll unlock your own core values.
Next, let’s talk about our purpose…
Once we landed on our core values, it was time to dive deeper into our purpose as a couple. To help us uncover our purpose together, we used the five questions below as conversation starters. Each question opened us up to sharing our thoughts, dreams, and the things that fill us up. Here’s something important to note. We didn’t agree on every answer. We did find common ground in our answers, and that was what lit us up during this experience. It was exciting to hear Cristina share something and know I was thinking the same thing. My Mission Statement for Couples tool will do the same for you. Ready, set, go!
- What do we see as our purpose?
- What do we want to be remembered by?
- What are we passionate about?
- What makes us feel the most fulfilled?
- What do we believe in?
Finally, let’s build our mission statement.
With your core values and the answers to those five questions in mind, it’s time to distill this all down and define your mission as a couple.
Your couple’s mission statement consists of 3 parts:
- What do we want to accomplish?
- Who are we doing it for?
- How will we make their lives (and ours) better?
Capturing this in one or two sentences is the goal. Remember, your couple’s mission statement may not be perfect when you first write it down together – that’s ok! This mission statement is meant to evolve as your relationship changes and life shifts. The goal is to create a statement that you can use as a compass for your life together, something that will grow with you and guide you.
Here’s an example Cristina and I created: Our purpose is to reflect God by the way we love each other, our family, and those in our circles, to help one other become the best versions of ourselves, and to live as partners chasing new adventures together.
We’re committed to forgiving quickly, communicating openly, and loving unconditionally.
Your couple’s mission statement will be an excellent tool for measuring if all of the “busy” things in your life are aligned with who you are as a team and who you want to become. It will provide you with a new level of clarity for saying “yes” and “no” to things and prioritizing what matters most amid all the distractions. Best of all, it’s something you created together that represents who you want to be as a couple.
The Takeaway
Have you invested the time to create your mission statement as a couple? If not, my challenge for you is to create yours now. Set aside some time together, eliminate the distractions, and ask yourself the questions above using the Mission Statement for Couples tool. Enjoy the process and have fun defining your purpose together! – John
DOWNLOAD YOUR MISSION STATEMENT FOR COUPLES TOOL
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Creation of the company. Mission Declaration / Habr
Good afternoon, dear readers of Megamind!
After a short break related to solving the problems of registering a company, I am back to posting ideas about what is needed to create a company.
Today I am pleased to present you with the idea of what a mission statement is, why and for whom it is needed. And at the same time I will give the mission of my company (so that there is no advertising, I will not disclose the name). So if you're interested, please read on!
I have been wondering for a long time what unites successful companies and whether their success is a pattern and not an accident.
And every day I got closer to the answer, to the solution of an important question - what is typical for all successful firms? Yes, this is a mission, or rather, its presence.
As I wrote in my article, the mission must be defined at the first stage of development of your company. But he did not specify that the mission must be declared, that is, announced (published) to the public.
By defining the mission of your company, you acquire an unlimited amount of funds for implementation. But from words to deeds - I will give examples of real companies, and at the end I will tell about my own.
1. Google's mission
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase "Google's mission"? Give people information? A good option, but not complete. To make the life of each of us comfortable? Also good, but rather vague. Here is the information from the official Google website:
To organize all the information available in the world, making it accessible and easy to use.
We see that Google strives to organize, process and transmit information - and it does it pretty well. We use this company's products every day and we love it.
2. Real estate agency mission in Russia
Let's make some assumptions again. Settle everyone? Absurd, yet original. Comply with international standards? Again, blurry.
Here is the official mission:
Make the rental market transparent, understandable and open
This makes it possible to use a variety of tools that will allow the rental market to reach a new level.
UPD. I will give examples of several more firms, since Russian real estate agencies are a rather controversial example.
3. Company **** is the leader in the market of light food products in Russia:
"Free up consumers' time for a fulfilling life by producing high-quality, easy-to-prepare products.
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What specific products does she make? Absolutely everything that frees up time. And there is no limit.
4. "*****" - payment system:
“Providing individuals and legal entities with a qualitatively new level of cashless payments based on modern electronic technologies.
We consider the development of a high-tech payment service as one of the conditions for achieving a new quality of life, more productive and comfortable use of personal time by a person in the face of an increasing amount of information and an increasing supply of goods and services.”
Delivering a new level does not limit the company to use a limited range of tools - it can realize its mission in many ways.
My company mission
I have long enjoyed helping people. But I have always understood that not everyone needs my help. And recently I realized that I can create a company (and have already created one) that sets its mission
Make people's lives more comfortable, interesting and safer.
I like it when people satisfy their desires. But it’s even more pleasant for me when they do it not to the detriment of themselves and others.
What does declaring my mission allow me to do? The fact that I can do completely different activities: create a convenient scheduler application, open a sushi studio, establish an advertising agency, launch a design studio. All my future (and current) directions are united by one thing: I try to make the life of every person more comfortable, more interesting and safer.
More comfortable - it will be convenient for you to work with me; more interesting - I really appreciate your wishes and make every effort to make them come true. Safer - I guarantee the honesty of work with the client, the quality of my services and their legitimacy.
I hope that my article will help those who are undecided (what they want from their company) and correct plans for those who have almost achieved success.
P.S.: By the way, with a clear mission in mind, it is much easier to get funding.
definition (mission statement) - Ilya Lankevich on vc.ru
Several definitions and notes
148 views
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Unfortunately, there is no commonly accepted and practical definition of "business mission" and "mission statement", perhaps not yet. Flashes of interest in the topic occur about once every 7–8 years and provoke new attempts to give more accurate and universal definitions that would take into account new popular trends in management (management fashion).
On the good news: in one way or another, everyone remembers Peter Drucker and his 1954 book The Practice of Management (especially chapter six, What Is Our Business—And What Should It Be?) and later (after 2000) editions "Marketing Management" by Philip Kotler (Chapter 2 "Developing Marketing Strategies and Plans"). In total, this is less than 100 pages.
Below are a few subjectively selected definitions of "mission statement" and "mission of the business [organization]" that are sufficient not only to understand what it is about, but to develop your own mission statement.
Simple definition
The company's mission statement is an attempt to transform your goals and dreams into a bigger picture. It helps to direct the efforts of all members of the organization in a single direction and explain to them the general tasks, philosophy of the company and its future. This can be of great benefit: to support the identity of the enterprise and strengthen its position in the market [1, p. 33].
Peter J. Patsula, Entrepreneur, educator, bestselling author of The 30 Day Business Plan
Definition from textbook on strategic management
Mission statements are “long-term statements about the intent of a business that distinguish it from similar firms. The mission statement defines the firm's product and market boundaries" [I] and answers the key question strategists face - "What is our business?".
A clear mission statement describes the organization's values and priorities.
Developing a mission statement forces strategists to reflect on the nature and scale of current operations and assess the attractiveness of potential markets and activities in the future.
The mission statement roughly outlines the future direction of the organization. The mission statement is a constant reminder to employees of why the organization exists, what its founders had in mind when they risked their reputation and wealth to breathe life into their dreams. [2, p. 11]
Management textbook definitions
The main overall purpose of the organization - a clearly expressed reason for its existence - is referred to as its mission. Goals are developed to fulfill this mission…
If managers do not know what the main purpose of their organization is, then they will not have a logical starting point for choosing the best alternative. [3, p. 240]
There are broad and narrow definitions of mission .
In the case of a broad understanding, the mission is seen as a statement of philosophy and purpose, the meaning of the organization's existence. The philosophy of an organization expresses the values, beliefs, and principles in accordance with which the organization intends to carry out its activities. A mission defines the activities an organization intends to do and what type of organization it intends to be. The philosophy of an organization usually rarely changes. As for the second part of the mission, it may vary depending on the depth of changes that may take place in the organization and in the environment of its functioning.
If there is a narrow understanding of a mission, it is seen as a stated statement about why or why the organization exists. That is, the mission is understood as a statement that reveals the meaning of the existence of the organization, in which the difference between this organization and similar ones is manifested. A correctly formulated mission, although it always has a general philosophical meaning, necessarily carries something that makes it unique in its kind, characterizing exactly the organization in which it was developed.[4, p. 218]
Definition from textbook marketing management
To define a mission, a company must answer Peter Drucker's classic questions [II]: What is our business? Who is our client? What is the value for the client? What will our business be like? What should our business be like? Seemingly simple questions are some of the most difficult to answer...
Organizations develop a mission statement to share with managers, employees and (in many cases) customers. A clear and thoughtful mission statement provides a shared understanding of purpose, direction, and opportunity.
Ideally, the mission statement reflects a vision, an almost "impossible dream" that sets the direction for the next 10 to 20 years. [5, p. 38]
Several academic definitions [or not]
At its simplest, a mission statement is a formal, written document that reflects the unique purpose and practices of an organization.
.. An organization's mission statement should answer some "really fundamental questions" such as: why do we exist? why are we here? what are we trying to achieve? Therefore, many authors point out that the mission statement should be the "starting point" for effective strategic management. [6, p. 480]
Mission statements are designed not so much to indicate specific results, but rather to provide motivation, overall direction, image, tone, and philosophy of enterprise management. [7, p. 155]
Our definition, illustrated in Figure 1, includes four elements: purpose, strategy, standards of conduct, and values. We believe that a clear mission exists when all four elements are closely related to each other, resonating and reinforcing each other. [8 p. 12]
1- Patsula PJ (2010): 30 Day Business Plan. A step-by-step guide to successful business planning and starting your own business.
