Cheating with someone

Why People Cheat in Relationships

Cheating sucks. But there’s a reason why people cheat, and things you can do to not be cheated on.

14 minute readRelationships

I talk to a lot of people about their relationships. And a lot of these relationships are about as healthy as the Ebola virus: cold, distant, loveless, and flesh-eating.

I hear the stories about the heartbreak and loneliness, the lying and cheating, and the pain. Always the pain.

Inevitably, these conversations end with some form of the same question: “Why?” Why does he/she do this to me? Why does he/she not care anymore? Why won’t he/she change?

Tolstoy said that all happy relationships are the same, but each unhappy relationship is unique in its own way.¹ I suppose that’s true. But I do think the question of fidelity, of why some people choose to remain faithful and others do not, is fairly straightforward and easily answered.

It turns out that infidelity is actually not uncommon in both men and women. In fact, surveys estimate that almost one-fourth of all marriages experience infidelity at some point. And that’s just counting the people who answered honestly or found out about it.²

It’s also very hard for most people to be logical about infidelity. They start raging all over the place and throwing people’s shit out on the lawn. Or they get so sad and hurt that they can’t look at the situation reasonably and see all of the warning signs stretching out miles behind them.³

So let’s break this down logically. I know algorithms aren’t exactly romantic or sexy. But then again, neither is cheating. So fuck it, you get an algorithm.

The Cheating Algorithm is quite simple and goes as follows:

SELF-GRATIFICATION > INTIMACY = CHEATING

In plain English: when one’s need for self-gratification outweighs their need for intimacy, cheating is likely to occur. Let’s break that down a little more and dig a little deeper:

As humans, we all have a natural desire for self-gratification. Good food. Good sex. Little work. Lots of sleep. Porn and video games and corn flakes.⁴
As humans, we also all have a natural desire for intimacy and to feel loved by somebody else, to feel as though we are sharing our lives with somebody.⁵
Unfortunately, these two needs are often contradictory. To achieve that intimacy and love, you have to sacrifice your own self-gratification at times. And to achieve self-gratification, you often have to sacrifice some love and intimacy. This can be as simple as watching a movie you don’t really like or attending some boring work party you don’t care about. But it can also be deep and complex, like being open about your fears and insecurities to your partner or making a conscious commitment to be monogamous with that person for an indefinite amount of time.⁶
If a person values self-gratification more than the intimacy they gain from a relationship, then they will stop sacrificing for the relationship and are likely to end up cheating. If a person values the intimacy they gain from a relationship more than self-gratification, then they will willingly sacrifice some of their self-gratification to remain faithful.
Think of it like a scale. On one side you have self-gratification and on the other you have intimacy. If at any point the self-gratification side outweighs the intimacy side, well, then you get a cheater.

There are two ways this can happen. The first way is that a person is just shallow and selfish and needs to be gratified constantly. The second reason is that the relationship is failing to provide sufficient intimacy and desire.⁷ Let’s unpack these two reasons separately.

In my eyes, the definition of maturity is the ability to defer self-gratification in favor of more important long-term goals.⁸

You don’t masturbate at work because that would get you fired. You don’t eat chocolate cake for breakfast every morning because that would give you a heart attack by the age of 32. You don’t mainline heroin straight into your eyeballs before picking your kids up from school because, well, Jesus, do I really have to explain that one?

Sure, these things feel nice, but you have larger and more important concerns and you’re able to defer your own gratification to meet those concerns.

This is called “maturity.” It’s called “being an adult.” It’s called “not being a fuck up.”

Cheating falls under the same umbrella here. Sure, it may feel good to rub your genitals all over that beautiful stranger’s face, but a mature person is capable of stepping back and deferring their gratification in favor of a more important life-long commitment.

Self-gratifying cheaters come in two flavors: miserable over-compensators and people in power.

The miserable over-compensators are constantly focused on their own gratification because they feel so miserable about themselves that they need to make themselves feel good to cover it up all the time. Chances are that if your cheating deadbeat of an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend is a miserable over-compensator, cheating isn’t the only destructive self-gratifying behavior they pursue. They may be a heavy drinker, a hard partier, a drug user, or a social climber.

Or they may just try to take over the world.

The people in power are just that, people in high positions of power.⁹ They’re Genghis Khan. Or more recently, Bill Clinton and Arnold Schwarzenegger. They are people who don’t have anyone to say “no” to them or those who don’t face any real tangible repercussions for their actions. Or in the case of Khan, a man who just slaughtered an entire province of innocent people and wanted to spend the next week having a blood orgy with all the local virgins. Knock yourself out, champ.

But these don’t just need to be people with social power. These can be people who are given complete power over the relationship, people who are shown no repercussions for their actions by their partners. Yes, you can unwittingly enable your partner to cheat on you. Which brings us to the second reason.

It’s not rocket science to say that the likelihood of infidelity in a relationship is directly proportional to how miserable the relationship is.

The problem is that many people don’t recognize the misery in their own relationships. They come from a family full of miserable relationships and/or have a long history of miserable relationships, so to them, it’s not even miserable, it’s just normal.

Then they get surprised when wifey is fucking the milkman. Everything was so good, what happened?

No, it wasn’t so good buckeroo. Let me explain why.

Damn you milkman. Always stealing our women.

Look, there are two relationship patterns that usually end up with somebody cheating. Both involve poor boundaries.¹⁰ And both create an illusion that “everything is great,” when really it’s a festering pile of cow shit with big red hearts painted on it.

The first situation is when one partner feels as though they “do everything” for the other partner. They take care of them, give them everything they want, and in some cases support them. The person feels like a goddamn saint and then what happens? They get cheated on.

The reason this is actually a toxic situation is that when you do everything for your partner, when you take care of all of their problems and show them that no matter what happens you will always make it better for them, you show them that there are essentially no repercussions for their actions. They lose their job because they were masturbating at the office again and you decide to support them. Then they spend the next six months loafing around on your couch while you tirelessly send out their resume for them. What makes you think they’re going to change? What makes you think they will ever stop and question their own behavior?

If you had a dog that continuously pissed on your rug and every time you just cleaned up the rug because OMIGOD I LOVE HER, why would the dog ever stop pissing on it?

That’s what happens when these people cheat on you. You’re actually surprised when you’ve been tolerating and enabling the exact behavior that led to them cheating all along. No, it’s not your “fault,” but you sure as shit weren’t helping the matter.

Believe it or not, a healthy and loving relationship requires that people say “no” to one another on occasion. It requires that each individual stands up for themselves and their needs. Because only then can two people, as self-respecting individuals, discuss what will work and what won’t work for them in a relationship.

The other situation where cheating always ends up happening is when one partner is insanely possessive and jealous.

Let me ask you this, if you were dating somebody who regularly looked through your phone without permission, demanded to know where you were at all times, got ripshit pissed off every time you went out with your friends without him/her and screamed at you until blood vessels popped in their face if you go a single day without calling or texting, why wouldn’t you cheat?¹¹

I mean, this person is essentially treating you like you already cheated, even though you did nothing wrong. So why not cheat? It won’t get any worse.

And that’s exactly what happens. “Well, my husband yells at me every day anyway, and now that I’m with my friends and we’ve have had a few apple-tinis, I realize I haven’t been happy with him in about a year, so yeah, why don’t I kiss this cute guy hitting on me right now? He’s actually nice to me. And I’m going to get yelled at when I go home anyway. So why not?”

And boom, the milkman strikes again.

Possessive/jealous behavior communicates extreme insecurity and a lack of self-respect. How can your partner respect you if you are incapable of tolerating any sort of discomfort in the relationship whatsoever?

True, sexy confidence comes not from fighting for self-gratification, but rather from being comfortable with deferring gratification. Which brings us to…

There are simple steps you can take to prevent getting cheated on. Note while they are “simple” they are not necessarily easy to do.

Let me explain.

Step 1: Do Not Date Somebody Who Cannot Defer Self-Gratification Well

This goes without saying, but don’t fall in love with the first person who looks at you without grimacing.

Look, dating a self-gratifier can be awesome, as long as you continue to gratify them. But you need to learn to look past the feel-goods and look at how this person actually lives their life. Are they capable of making sacrifices for those around them? Are they impulsive? Does their life appear to be filled with unnecessary drama? Do they take responsibility for their actions?

The problem with people who base their lives around their own gratification is that they often appear confident to people who are anxious or insecure. I remember when I met my first girlfriend, one of the things I loved about her was that if she wanted something she just went and did it. I was so insecure and inhibited at the time that I thought this was an amazing display of confidence.

What I later found out was that it was actually an amazing display of self-gratification. As soon as she wanted another pair of genitals in her face, well, there they were.

As I described in this article, true sexy confidence only exists when someone is comfortable with what they don’t have. True confidence comes from being able to defer and give up one’s own gratification and desires and take the appropriate actions when necessary.

The other issue with people who date self-gratifiers is that they think to themselves, “Well, he’s so loving and happy when he’s with me, why would he ever want to be with somebody else?”

Yeah, it’s because he was dating you for the self-gratification, not the intimacy. So of course he loved being with you, as long as it was on his terms. As soon as you quit providing gratification for him, he went and found somebody else who did.

Step 2: Enforce Healthy Boundaries

That means standing up for yourself. That means declaring what is and is not acceptable in the relationship both for yourself and your partner. That means sticking by those declarations and following through on them. That means doing pretty much everything explained in this article.

That means you recognize that you are not responsible for your partner’s happiness nor are they responsible for yours. That you do not have a right to demand certain actions from them nor do they have a right to demand certain actions from you.

That means that they are responsible for their own struggles just as you are responsible for yours.

That means that you realize often the most loving and compassionate thing you can do for a loved one is allow them to deal with their struggles themselves.

The point of a relationship is not for you to have all of your life’s problems fixed by your partner, nor is it for you to fix all of your partner’s life problems.

The point of a relationship is to have two individuals unconditionally support each other as they deal with their own problems together.

Step 3: Always Be Willing to Leave

This comes up in a lot of my replies to those emails I get, and it often catches people off guard.

But a relationship is only as strong as each person’s willingness to leave. Note that I didn’t say desire to leave, but the willingness to leave. Every healthy relationship requires the occasional loving but stern “no.” Otherwise nothing will ever change because there’s no reason for it to change.

A wise friend of mine told me years ago that after two divorces the most important lesson he learned was that “the quickest way to kill a relationship is to take each other for granted.”¹²

A relationship is not an obligation. It is a choice. Made every day. It is a choice that says, “The intimacy we share is better for me than my own self-gratification.” It is a choice that recognizes the short-term costs are worth the long-term benefits. It is a choice to appreciate what brought you two together in the first place. And then to let that keep you there.

Footnotes

The famous line from Anna Karenina actually reads, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” but I rewrote it with the word “relationship” to fit the article.↵
Infidelity statistics are notorious for being hard to pin down. But generally, most surveys find that around 25% of all couples experience infidelity at some point. Also, men are slightly more likely to cheat than women. Although the more financially independent women become, the more likely they are to cheat. See: Blow, A. J., & Hartnett, K. (2005). Infidelity in committed relationships II: A substantive review. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31(2), 217–233.↵
This emotional whirlpool following discovery of infidelity could range from a partner feeling undesirable to straight out suicidal. See: Shackelford, T. K., LeBlanc, G. J., & Drass, E. (2000). Emotional reactions to infidelity. Cognition and Emotion, 14(5), 643–659.↵
Like posting selfies on social media? Yep, that’s gratification.↵
For a review of literature on this topic, see: Popovic, M. (2005). Intimacy and its relevance in human functioning. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 20(1), 31–49.↵
To quote one study: “Monogamy, typically defined as sexual and romantic exclusivity to one partner, is a near-universal expectation in committed intimate relationships in Western societies. ”↵
You may ask here, “What about honesty?” as cheating is inherently dishonest. It is true that an honest person who chooses their own self-gratification will simply end a relationship rather than cheating. But the catch is that honesty also requires one to defer self-gratification, because being honest and hurting people’s feelings is not a gratifying or fun thing to do.↵
Psychology research abounds on the topic of delayed self-gratification. Here is one place to start if you’re interested.↵
Lammers, J., Stoker, J. I., Jordan, J., Pollmann, M., & Stapel, D. A. (2011). Power increases infidelity among men and women. Psychological Science, 22, 1191-1197.↵
And it’s not just me saying this. This study identified “behavioral, cognitive, and relationship boundaries” as one of the factors preventing infidelity.↵
I’ve been living in Latin America for most of the last five years, a culture where people are extremely possessive and jealous in their relationships. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this play out.↵
Wise friend. (Years ago).↵

Stay Connected:

Follow @markmanson

Follow @iammarkmanson

Learn about the idea that transformed a depressed deadbeat into one of the most important philosophers who ever lived. Read about it in my free 19-page ebook.

5 Different Types of Infidelity

The consequences of infidelity are numerous, and it is only natural to want to know why your partner chose to cheat, even if knowing why doesn't bring you any relief. There could be any number of reasons, and there are many types of infidelity and cheating that could shed a little light on those reasons.

What Is Infidelity?

Infidelity, or cheating, is the act of being unfaithful to a spouse or other partner. It typically means engaging in sexual or romantic relations with a person other than one's significant other, breaking a commitment or promise in the act.

Each case of infidelity is different and fulfills a different need. Although knowing why a partner cheated likely won't lessen any pain you feel, being able to rationalize the behavior and define it will alleviate some confusion. It can also help you feel more confident in how to move forward from the situation—whether that means working on healing your relationship or moving on should you decide to split up.

Learn more about the five types of cheating below, and what to do if you find yourself the victim of infidelity.

Opportunistic Infidelity

Opportunistic infidelity occurs when one is in love and attached to their partner, but succumbs to their sexual desire for someone else. Typically, this type of cheating is driven by situational circumstances or opportunity, risk-taking behavior, and alcohol or drug use. As social psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato says, "Not every act of infidelity is premeditated and driven by dissatisfaction with a current relationship…Maybe they were drinking or in some other way thrown into an opportunity they didn't anticipate. "

After the fact, the more in love a person is with their partner, the more guilt they will experience as a result of their sexual encounter. However, feelings of guilt tend to fade as the fear of being caught subsides.

Obligatory Infidelity

This type of infidelity is based on the fear that resisting someone's sexual advances will result in rejection. People may have feelings of sexual desire, love, and attachment for a partner, but still, end up cheating because they have a strong need for approval. In addition, their need for approval can cause them to act in ways that are at odds with their other feelings. In other words, some people cheat, not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes along with having the attention of others.

Romantic Infidelity

"Sometimes (but not always) a deficit in an existing relationship leads people to have extradyadic affairs," says DiDonato. This type of infidelity occurs when the cheater has little emotional attachment to their partner. They may be committed to their marriage and making it work, but they long for an intimate, loving connection with someone else. More than likely, their commitment to the marriage will prevent them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity means pain for the other man or woman and the cheating partner—rarely does it turn into a long-term, committed relationship. Marital problems have to be quite severe before a spouse will leave the marriage for another person.

Conflicted Romantic Infidelity

This type of infidelity occurs when people experience genuine love and sexual desire for more than one person at a time. Despite our idealistic notions of having only one true love, it is possible to experience intense romantic love for multiple people at the same time. While such situations are emotionally possible, they are very complicated and tend to create a lot of anxiety and stress. In this case, cheating partners, in their attempt not to cause anyone harm, often end up hurting everyone.

Commemorative Infidelity

This type of infidelity occurs when a person is in a committed relationship but has no feelings for their partner. There is no sexual desire or love or attachment, only a sense of obligation keeping the couple together. "Lacking love and lacking commitment to a current romantic partner are both tied to general feelings of relationship dissatisfaction," says DiDonato.

These people justify cheating by telling themselves they have the right to look for what they are not getting in their present relationship. Unfulfilled sexual desires can easily come into play here. "Maybe in their established relationship, individuals aren't engaging in the frequency of sex, style of sex, or specific sexual behaviors that they want," DiDonato adds. "This can contribute to their reasons to cheat."

It is important, for the sake of appearances, that the present relationship last. The cheater does not want to be viewed as a failure, so they stay in an unhappy relationship and seek to fulfill their needs outside the relationship.

Next Steps After Being Cheated On

Now that your confusion has hopefully been alleviated, it's up to you to decide what steps to take next. Marriages and relationships can survive infidelity, but whether or not yours survives will depend on what type of infidelity took place and how much work you're both willing to put in. It's only common sense to know that an opportunistic cheater will cheat regardless of how many times their cheating is discovered and forgiven. That said, any other reasons why your spouse cheated don't mean they won't cheat again, so keep that in mind when deciding what steps to take next.

How to Deal With Infidelity, According to an Expert

An expert explained how to reduce the risk of fraud in housing and communal services

https://realty.ria.ru/20211118/obman-1759561525.html

An expert explained how to reduce the risk of fraud in housing and communal services

An expert explained how to reduce the risk of fraud in Housing and Utilities - Real Estate RIA Novosti, 11/18/2021

An expert explained how to reduce the risk of fraud in housing and communal services

Fraudsters often pretend to be housing and communal services workers. How not to be deceived, the chairman of the board of the Union of Housing Organizations said in an interview with Sputnik radio ... Real Estate RIA Novosti, 11/18/2021

2021-11-18T02: 15

2021-11-11-18T02: 15

Society

Housing and Public Utilities

Russia

Konstantin Krokhin

/HTML/HeAD/HeAD/HEAD/HEAD/HeAD meta[@name='og:title']/@content

/html/head/meta[@name='og:description']/@content

https://cdnn21.img.ria.ru/images /07e5/0a/06/1753351779_0:227:2836:1822_1920x0_80_0_0_15b12b2c5ab63a04b44bc9b0fd890f56.jpg

MOSCOW, November 18 - RIA Novosti. Fraudsters often pretend to be utility workers. How not to be deceived, Konstantin Krokhin, chairman of the board of the Union of Moscow Housing Organizations, director of the Center for Mediators of the RANEPA, lawyer Konstantin Krokhin, said in an interview with Sputnik radio. In most cases, residents are persuaded to part with their money in exchange for unnecessary services provided at inflated prices, he noted. Usually, people posing as employees of housing and communal services (HUS) offer to carry out urgent repairs, replace communications or install new metering devices. As a rule, there is no need for these works, and the owner of the apartment is not at all interested in them, Krokhin said. But the cost of imposed services can be several times higher than the market, he added. The expert told how to protect yourself from such fraud. According to him, the tenant should be wary if the "specialist" insists on an urgent decision. "I always urge you to be careful, take your time, you can always consult with someone. you need to make a quick decision: today the discount is 30 percent, tomorrow it will be more expensive. As soon as you hear such arguments, you must immediately slow down, "Krokhin believes. the managing organization can find out the exact name of the companies whose employees can carry out work in your home. Usually, large companies in the housing and communal services sector bear the names of cities or districts, the expert noted.

https://ria.ru/20211110/schetchik-1758442466.html

https://realty.ria.ru/20211101/lgoty-1757053620.html

russia

real estate

4.7

[email protected]

7 495 645-6601

Federal State Unitary Enterprise MIA "Russia Today"

https: //xn--C1ACBL2ABDLKAB1OG.xn-p1ai/AWARDS/

Real estate RIA Novosti

4.7

[email protected]

7 495 645-6601

Federal State Unitary Enterprise MIA "Russia Today"

https: //xn--C1ACBL2ABDLKAB1OG.xn-p1ai/AWARDS/

ru-RU

https://realty.ria.ru/docs/about/copyright.html

https://xn--c1acbl2abdlkab1og.xn--p1ai/

Realty RIA Novosti

4.7

[email protected]

7 495 645-6601

Rossiya Segodnya

https://xn--c1acbl2abdlkab1og. xn--p1ai/awards/

4.7

9000 9000

[email protected]

7 495 645-6601

Federal State Unitary Enterprise “Russia Today”

HTTPS: //xn---C1ACBL2ABDLKAB1OG.XN-- p1ai/awards/

society, housing and communal services, fraud, russia, konstantin krokhin

Society, housing and communal services, Fraud, Russia, Konstantin Krokhin

MOSCOW, November 18 - RIA Novosti. Fraudsters often pretend to be housing and communal services workers. How not to be deceived, said Konstantin Krokhin, chairman of the board of the Union of Housing Organizations of Moscow, director of the Center for Mediators of the RANEPA, lawyer Konstantin Krokhin, in an interview with Sputnik radio.

In most cases, tenants are persuaded to part with money in exchange for unnecessary services provided at inflated prices, he noted. Usually, people posing as employees of housing and communal services (HUS) offer to carry out urgent repairs, replace communications or install new metering devices.

As a rule, there is no need for these works, and the owner of the apartment is not at all interested in them, Krokhin said. But the cost of imposed services can be several times higher than the market price, he added.

The expert told how to protect yourself from such frauds. According to him, the tenant should be wary if the "specialist" insists on an urgent decision.

November 10, 2021, 18:05

Checking a gas meter: how not to run into scammers - legal advice

"I always urge you to be careful, take your time, you can always ask someone for advice. Fraudsters use a psychological trick: putting a person under stress. They say that you need to make a decision quickly: today the discount is 30 percent, tomorrow it will be more expensive. How as soon as you hear such arguments, you must immediately slow down," Krokhin believes.

He advises on all housing and communal issues to contact representatives of companies servicing the house, such as the managing organization.

"Housing and communal services workers have special uniforms, they must introduce themselves. And you can always call the managing organization or the gas management organization servicing the house in order to clarify whether such people work, whether they fulfill such orders," Krokhin recommended.

In the managing organization you can find out the exact name of the companies whose employees can carry out work in your home. Usually, large companies in the housing and communal services sector bear the names of cities or districts, the expert noted.

November 1, 2021, 02:15

An expert told who can receive a discount on payment for electricity Western Union

They use any means to contact their victims - telephone, postal mail, e-mail and the Internet. They win your trust and when you get hooked on them, they ask you for money; then they take them away and disappear. They constantly change the schemes with which they try to lure you into their trap. But you can protect yourself, your friends, and your family by arming yourself with the most common scams.

Purchase/Rental of property: You are interested in buying or renting property (vehicles, real estate, etc.) and are being asked to send money as security for payment for what appear to be reasonable reasons, but the property does not actually exist .

Emergency/Family Members: You are asked to send money to a friend or family member in an emergency.

Advance / Prepayment: You are asked to send money as an advance for a product or service.

Mystery Shopper: You are offered a job that involves sending money using a money transfer service and then evaluating the service.

Overpayment: You receive a check for more than the agreed price and you are asked to return the overpayment by money order, but the check turns out to be fake.

Employment: You are asked to send money for a job you have accepted.

Lottery / prize: You receive a notification that you have won a lottery / sweepstakes and you need to send money to receive a prize.

Online shopping: You are asked to send money to pay for a product, auction item or service advertised online.

Acquaintance: You meet someone on the Internet, develop an acquaintance, and then you are asked to send money.

Fake check: You receive a check and are asked to return some of the money for what appears to be a legitimate reason, but the check turns out to be a fake.

Buying/Renting property

Sophisticated scammers use the Internet and, in particular, free thematic classifieds sites (car portals, online auctions, real estate sale/rental sites, etc.) to hunt for gullible buyers and sellers. This kind of fraud is usually carried out according to one of the following schemes:

1. A buyer searches for a vehicle or property via the Internet. Finds an advertisement for the sale of a vehicle or property of interest to him at an attractive price. The buyer contacts the seller via email or mobile number. During the negotiation process, it turns out that the seller is located in another country, but is ready to come to complete the transaction if the buyer confirms the seriousness of his intentions. As a rule, for these purposes, the seller asks the buyer to make a Western Union transfer for a significant amount in the name of the buyer (his relative or acquaintance) as a guarantee of the transaction. At the same time, the seller convinces the buyer that he will not be able to receive the transfer, since the money was sent by the buyer to his own name (in the name of a relative or acquaintance), and the buyer does not leave the country. Next, the buyer makes a transfer and transfers the transfer data to the seller (sends a copy of the transfer order, accesses the phishing link provided by the seller, etc.). Having received all the information about the transfer, the imaginary seller receives the buyer's transfer using fake documents and disappears. The buyer is left without money and the desired property.

2. Tenants are looking for a house or apartment for rent and are being scammed by the “owner”. Victims find a house / apartment in a wonderful area at a very attractive price. The ad appears to be real, so the victims contact the "owner" (usually via email). The owner agrees to rent out the house/apartment if the tenant sends money to pay the rental application fee or as a deposit, etc. The victims transfer money, and then the "owner" disappears without a trace.

3. Owners rent out their house or apartment and are scammed by the "tenant". "Renters" usually contact victims by email and express interest in renting a house or apartment. Fraudsters send a check for deposit and then cancel the transaction. The victims return the money to them and only then find out that the check was fake.

See also Internet shopping scam and counterfeit check scam.

Down payment

Fraudsters pose as representatives of non-existent credit companies, and for credibility use documents, emails and websites that look like real ones. They charge a "fee" before disbursing a loan. Consumers pay but do not receive credit. And the scammers are already gone. In some cases, they regularly change the names of their "businesses" to hide from law enforcement.

This is one of the scams called "advance" or "prepayment". Fraudsters may also lure victims into their trap with promises of investment or inheritance in exchange for payment. But in the end, it all comes down to the same pattern: victims transfer money to an unknown person in the expectation of receiving something more valuable, and then receive little or nothing in return.

Cheating with someone

Why People Cheat in Relationships

Step 1: Do Not Date Somebody Who Cannot Defer Self-Gratification Well

Step 2: Enforce Healthy Boundaries

Step 3: Always Be Willing to Leave

Related Articles

5 Different Types of Infidelity

What Is Infidelity?

Opportunistic Infidelity

Obligatory Infidelity

Romantic Infidelity

Conflicted Romantic Infidelity

Commemorative Infidelity

Next Steps After Being Cheated On

An expert explained how to reduce the risk of fraud in housing and communal services