Why am i so out of it

Feeling Off? How To Determine What The Problem Is

Do you ever just feel “blah”? It’s like you’re feeling off, but you just can’t quite put your finger on why. Maybe you just don’t feel like yourself, and it’s an odd feeling, but without knowing what’s causing it, it’s hard to know how to fix it.

This can be a frustrating situation to be in. But it’s something that you can figure out how to move forward from. You don’t have to stay feeling stuck. Speaking with an online therapist can help you get out of this situation and get back to feeling like yourself. 

Feeling Off Can Be A Result Of Many Factors

Online Therapy Is Available With BetterHelp

There are many different ways that people describe feeling off. It may be that they have low energy and just can’t seem to get motivated to do the things that they normally do. Or, it may be that you just don’t feel like yourself. You may feel a sort of emptiness inside. If you are struggling emotionally, there is emotional support through a therapist and train counselor that can help support your well being whenever you're feeling low.

You haven’t experienced anything out of the normal lately that you can blame the feeling on. It may hit you in the middle of the day. Or, you may just wake up with the feeling.

How To Determine What The Problem Is

Determining why you’re feeling that way isn’t always easy. And it may not be something that you can figure out as soon as you want to. However, there are things that you can do to work on determining where it’s coming from, so you can take the steps that you need to change it.

People ask these questions about the situation:

What does it mean to feel off?
Is feeling weird normal?
What does feeling flat mean?
Is it normal to feel off all the time?
Why do I feel off in my head?
When someone is a little off?
Why do I feel floaty and disconnected?
What brain fog feels like?
Why do I feel uncomfortable for no reason?
What is emotional blunting?

Consider Any Physical Symptoms That You’re Experiencing

There are many different physical health conditions that can cause you to feel off. It could be that you are having problems with your thyroid, that you’re anemic, or a number of other health conditions.

This is why one of the first things that you should consider doing is thinking about any changes that you’ve noticed in your health recently. It may not be big glaring changes such as being physically ill every day. Instead, it may be things like feeling more lethargic. Or, you may feel dizzy from time to time. Or, your weight is starting to fluctuate.

If you’re able to think of a few possible symptoms that you might be noticing along with feeling off, it can be a wise decision to make an appointment to see your physician. And, even if you don’t have other symptoms that come to mind, it can still be helpful to get in to see your doctor. If you let them know that you’ve been feeling off, they may be able to ask questions to get you considering things that you hadn’t thought of before.

Is There Something Nagging At You?

Another reason that you may be feeling off is if there’s something like stress or worry that is nagging at the back of your mind. It could be something as simple as knowing that there’s an upcoming deadline to get your taxes done or being worried that a friend took something you said the wrong way.

Sometimes it can be easy to allow stress, guilt, and shame to fester in our lives. If this has been going on long enough, you may not even actively be remembering why, but the feeling continues to linger. Eventually, this can lead to you feeling off without really knowing the reason.

Ask Yourself If You’ve Been Anxious

There are many different types of anxiety disorders.  And if you’re struggling with anxiety, it can leave you feeling like you’re not quite yourself. It doesn’t have to be that you have a diagnosable anxiety disorder to deal with this. It could be that you’ve been going through a stressful situation in life, and you just have more anxiety than what you’re typically used to.

Is There A Challenge That You’re Facing?

If you have a big decision to make coming up in your life or a challenge that you’re facing, it may be consuming a lot of your thoughts and attention. This can leave you mentally fatigued, and also impact your physical health. While you might not connect the two things together, it could actually be that “thing” in your life that’s causing you to feel off and not like your usual self.

Are You Unhappy With A Certain Area Of Your Life?

There are many different scenarios of how being unhappy in any area of your life that could cause you to feel off. It may be that you hate your job. It weighs heavily on you day after day because you’re tired of going into work. Or, it may be that you’re starting to realize that the relationship you’re in is not the right one for you.

Change can be difficult, so even if you’re unhappy with a certain area of your life, it may feel like it’s easier to just stick with it. However, doing so can lead to you not feeling like yourself. If you see that there are areas of your life where you’re unhappy and unsettled, look at making changes in those areas to address your mental wellness.

Things You Shouldn’t Do When You’re Feeling Off

Whether or not you’ve pinpointed the reason that you’re feeling off, there are some things that you shouldn’t jump to doing without careful consideration.

Make Major Life Decisions

If you are feeling off, and you don’t know why to avoid making any major life-changing decisions. When things aren’t feeling right for you, it may be tempting to want to start making a lot of changes to see if you can figure out what will make you feel better. But if you start making changes to things that you didn’t need to, you may find that you’re causing new problems for yourself instead of fixing existing ones.

For example, if you’re feeling off and you decide to quit your job or end your relationship, and it turns out that you are really dealing with a physical health problem such as anemia, you may have given up something good in your life without addressing the root cause of why you were feeling bad.

While making a change in a major area of your life may be the thing you need to do when you’re feeling off, it’s not something that you should rush into without careful consideration. One research physician even recommends waiting until your happiness reaches level 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. Always consider the entire picture and explore your options before jumping into action.

Be Overly Critical Of Yourself

Everyone experiences difficult situations and hard times on occasion. If you’re feeling off, it could be something that’s outside of your control. Getting frustrated with yourself and being overly critical may just cause you to feel worse instead of helping you to make necessary changes.

Ignore The Issue

If you notice that you’ve been feeling off, and it doesn’t seem to be going away, don’t ignore the problem. It may be that there is something that you need to do in order to start to feel better.

If you try to ignore the problem, it can end up becoming worse. You may start to struggle with things like anxiety or depression on top of it. You may not always be able to determine quickly what the problem is, but ignoring it is usually not going to make it go away.

Things That Can Help When You’re Feeling Off

Stick To A Self-Care Routine

Self-care habits are very important when dealing with any type of mental health issue, even if it’s just feeling kind of off. Self-care habits can look a little different for each person. It’s important that you find the ones that work the best in your life and help you the most.

When you’re feeling off, you may not feel like doing the things that you know are good for you, but it can be really helpful if you can make yourself do them anyway. Here are some examples of good self-care habits:

Feeling Off Can Be A Result Of Many Factors

Online Therapy Is Available With BetterHelp

  • Getting the proper amount of sleep each night
  • Eating a balanced diet.
  • Doing some type of physical activity on a regular basis.
  • Spending time outdoors
  • Meditation or yoga
  • Journaling

It’s recommended that you find the things you’re most comfortable with. So, find the things that help you to relax and help to recharge you.

Slow Down

Life can be busy with a lot of people. You may feel like your schedule is full, from sunup to sundown. You may have a calendar packed with work activities and personal get-togethers. But when you start feeling off and like you’re not yourself, it can be helpful to slow down a little.

Look for a few things that you can take off your schedule until you start to feel better. Give yourself time to rest, relax, and recharge. Let go of the pressure of trying to meet everyone’s expectations.

Talk To A Therapist

If you continue to struggle with feeling off, it can be helpful to speak with a mental health professional like the therapists at BetterHelp. Feeling off can be a symptom of a mental health disorder. Or, it may just be a small phase that you’re going through in life. Either way, talking to a therapist may be able to help you work through what you’re feeling and find strategies and solutions to help you start feeling better. Take the first step today through a confidential conversation.

Questions People Often Ask:

What does it mean to feel off?
Is feeling weird normal?
What does feeling flat mean?
Is it normal to feel off all the time?
Why do I feel off in my head?
When someone is a little off?
Why do I feel floaty and disconnected?
What brain fog feels like?
Why do I feel uncomfortable for no reason?
What is emotional blunting?

Why do I feel “Weird” or “Off”

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We’ve all been there. It’s completely normal not to feel like ourselves from time to time and having an “off” or “weird” day or two is common. In fact, when we feel like this it can tell us a lot about how our environments and habits are affecting us.

If your off or weird feelings last more than a day or two, we suggest trying to get to the root of what’s going on with you. You can do this by giving yourself time to reflect and asking yourself some questions, but in a non-judgemental way. Find a quiet, peaceful time and check in with yourself using some of the tips below.

Identify what you’re feeling

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • How do I best describe the feelings I’m having? Do I feel “weird” because I’m having a combination of feelings? If so, what are they?
  • Has anything happened recently that might be connected to these feelings?
  • If something is going on for me, what do I need to figure out or clarify that may be confusing or disorienting?
  • If nothing is happening in particular, what can I do to bring myself back to a more familiar emotional balance?

If you can identify a feeling or multiple feelings that are somewhat similar to how you’re feeling now, you can start working on ways to feel better. If you’re having a hard time, this Emotion and Feeling Wheel might be able to help you find the words.

Check in with yourself physically

While feeling “weird” or “off” might be something you can’t quite put your finger on, it’s also important to pay attention to your body and see if you’re experiencing any physical symptoms. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I feel hungry or thirsty?
  • Am I cold or hot?
  • Do I feel high or have low energy?
  • Am I holding tension in my body? For example:
    • Clenching teeth
    • Shoulder stiffness or back pain
    • Stiffness in another body part

A body scan meditation can help you check in with your body when you’re not feeling your best, and it can help you feel calm after having a hard time. This 3-minute body scan meditation is a great start. If you find that your body is tense or reflecting stress, it can be helpful to relax as much as you can and ask yourself, in an open and honest way, what may be causing the stress-reaction. It may seem odd, but our bodies can reflect emotional stress even when our thinking minds are unaware of it.

Identify Your Needs

Once you’ve identified what you’re feeling and checked in with your body, think about whether you have physical, emotional, or mental needs that aren’t being met?


  • Do I need or want food or other kinds of nourishment?
  • Do I need to move, stretch, or otherwise exercise my body?
  • Do I need more regular or consistent sleep?


  • Would it help me to speak to a friend or loved one?
  • Are there feelings or negative thoughts that I need to let go of?
  • Could I use alone time or other opportunities to recharge?


  • What am I not tending to that could use some consideration? Are there things happening in relationships and/or at school or work that I need to think about and/or address?
  • Is my life balanced? Are there changes I need to make in balancing work/school, core relationships, social life, and self-care time?
  • Am I taking enough time for activities I enjoy outside of work or school?

If you find that one or more of your needs are going unmet for any period of time, it may be worth reevaluating your current patterns in order to better meet your basic needs. Schedules can become overwhelming or overbooked without us realizing it, and all too often our responsibilities to others may be outshining our responsibilities to ourselves.

Other things to consider

Are you someone that has a diagnosed mental or physical health condition?

If so, consider checking in on your medication schedule, any possible medication interactions, your blood sugar, or any other medical indicators that could contribute to your negative feelings. If you’ve lapsed on medications or are experiencing a health complication, reach out to your doctor.

If applicable to you, could it be linked to your menstrual cycle?

If you are currently experiencing your period, consider how your “off” feelings may be related to where you’re at in your cycle. Hormonal changes can cause fluctuations in emotions and energy levels. Feeling more emotional or less energetic due to your menstrual cycle does not invalidate or delegitimize your feelings. If the feeling persists and if you think the emotions you are experiencing might be related to menstruation, talk to your doctor.

How to feel better

Check out our article on How to Cope When You’re Feeling “Off” or “Weird” for a complete list of tips and resources, but in the meantime, here are some steps you can take to start feeling better:

  • Start meeting your needs and keep meeting them.
    • Create good habits around eating, hydrating, sleeping, and moving your body
    • Take breaks for hobbies, meditation, and other positive activities
    • Express and process emotions in a safe, productive way
  • Find coping skills that are right for you. Some examples are:
    • Journaling and creative writing
    • Drawing, painting, or making art
    • Exercise, walking, or hiking
    • Meditation, mindfulness
    • Engaging in one preferred spiritual practice and/or prayer
    • Yoga or stretching
    • Talking to family and friends
    • Talking to a therapist

As always, if you or a loved one are feeling “off” and having thoughts about suicide or thoughts about self-harm, reach out to a professional for help immediately. Text “START” to 741-741 or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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If you or someone you know needs to talk to someone right now, text HOME to 741-741 or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for a free confidential conversation with a trained counselor 24/7.  

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, text or call 988.

If this is a medical emergency or if there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that you need support for a mental health crisis.

Self-doubt: where does it come from and can it be overcome? We talk about the reasons and ways to overcome it

What is self-doubt

Self-doubt is a subjective feeling of doubt in one's abilities and potential for success in various areas of life. By and large, self-doubt is the fear of being yourself, which grows out of doubts about your competence.

Self-doubt goes hand in hand with low self-esteem, but there is a difference between the two. Uncertainty manifests itself pointwise and refers to how confident a person is in their qualifications in various areas of life: work, personal relationships, and so on. Self-esteem is a complex concept, a global opinion about oneself as a person. Personal insecurity, if a person experiences it regularly, strikes blow after blow to self-esteem, and in the end can greatly shake it.

Also, self-doubt is often confused with introversion . An introvert is a personality type proposed by the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung to characterize people who direct life energy inwards. They prefer to think apart from the outside world, with immersion in the inner. But introversion is not necessarily a marker, much less a synonym for insecurity. The German psychiatrist Karl Leonhard saw strength in this individualism. According to his interpretation, the introvert has its own clear values, is not afraid to oppose itself to the environment, unlike the extrovert, whom Leonhard calls a conformist, susceptible to outside influence.

Another phenomenon that is sometimes confused with self-doubt is social phobia . Social phobia is included in the International Classification of Diseases and is an anxiety disorder. Affected people are afraid of attention from other people, public spaces and large companies - sometimes to the point of panic attacks, and therefore avoid social situations. Social phobia is a medical diagnosis that can be treated.

People who experience self-doubt tend to think that they have got a rare unfortunate ticket to this state. This is not so: everyone experiences this feeling in different life situations. It's natural to doubt yourself when you start a new endeavor or in a highly competitive environment. But sometimes insecurity becomes chronic and reduces the quality of life. According to Yulia Anpilogova, a psychologist and psychotherapist, a member of the All-Russian Professional Psychotherapeutic League, self-doubt, as a main or accompanying problem, is present in almost all appeals to a psychologist: “People who are capable of reflection or self-reflection are people of a certain order of organization of the psyche, who are in doubt. To doubt oneself for such a person is one of the steps, one of the forms of doubt.

Signs of self-doubt

Every person who has experienced self-doubt has experienced the accompanying emotions, thoughts and bodily reactions.

External (bodily) signs

  • Rapid heartbeat, redness or pallor of the face, uneven breathing when talking.
  • Confused speech, a person chatters and loses the thread of the story, jerky movements - a conversational sprint, just to finish the speech faster.
  • Stooping, hunched figure, unconscious desire to take up less space and be less noticeable.
  • The phrases “I suppose”, “it seems to me” - the person seems to be apologizing for being in his place.

Internal (mental, behavioral)

  • Comparison of oneself with others - in a person who is not confident in himself, it almost always turns out to be not in his favor.
  • The inability to say "no" - it is easier for a person to agree to work that is a burden to him than to refuse.
  • Downplaying one's merits, inability to accept compliments.
  • Shifting responsibility for one's life to circumstances or other people.
  • Avoidance of initiative and responsibility.
  • Arrogance, which serves as a defense mechanism - it helps to reject others before they could reject a person.
  • Perfectionism - sometimes insecurity is well disguised, but still gives itself away in the eternal pursuit of unattainable perfection and hypercontrol.

Photo: Unsplash

How self-doubt arises

The very first environment in a person's life, family and school, has a great influence. Among the causes rooted in childhood are:

  • Parental strategies : emotional deprivation from parents, prohibitions and restrictions, excessive criticism or overprotection.

  • Copying stereotypes of behavior that a child observes around him: according to the theory of the American psychologist Albert Bandura, parents' self-doubt is often inherited.
  • School bullying : peers can be quite tough in their assessments and judgments.
  • Learned helplessness : Psychologist Martin Seligman believed that weak skills in controlling the outside world may arise due to insufficient development of the “action-consequence” link, which is often observed in children from orphanages.

But uncertainty can develop at any age. According to clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Yulia Khvorova, when people grow up, they come across various microgroups, and sometimes in a group relevant to a person, they face criticism. An authority may also appear that seems to a person more successful - this can also lay down self-doubt. The danger zone here is excessive parental approval in childhood: it plays a disservice when confronted with the real world.

Yulia Anpilogova adds that our “I” is most vulnerable in moments of crisis: “An earthquake happened, the walls fell down, and what was our support disappears, and the new one is not yet built. In this period of timelessness, it is difficult to be sure of anything. We are reborn many times in a lifetime, we go through this cycle of destruction-resurrection in a new quality. And this restoration is always accompanied by uncertainty, because what is being built is still very fragile.”

How self-doubt affects life

Block for career ambitions

Insecure people do not ask for a pay rise, do not express their ideas, even innovative and breakthrough ones, for fear of being misunderstood or rejected. They do not take the financial risks associated with investments, depriving themselves of the opportunity to earn more. They are also afraid to change unloved jobs and to undergo interviews. All this further fuels the uncertainty.

In career terms, self-doubt in some cases turns into impostor syndrome, when a person, having nevertheless taken a step forward and achieved success, stumbles upon a new fear. Here he no longer thinks that he will not be able to reach some goal. Now, having achieved it, he begins to consider his success as an accident and does not recognize his personal contribution to it. He is overcome by the fear of not holding on and not justifying new hopes. Psychologists believe that the mechanisms of formation of these two phenomena are similar.

At the same time, it is a mistake to assume that self-doubt and, moreover, the impostor syndrome, are inherent only to “mere mortals”. Famous people also face them, and not only at the beginning of their journey. Natalie Portman, speaking in 2015 to Harvard students as an honorary graduate, told them that she did not realize her achievements: “12 years after my graduation, I must admit that I still do not feel my own worth. I have to remind myself that I'm here for a reason. Today I feel exactly the same as when I first started at Harvard at 19.99 year. Then it seemed to me that there was some kind of mistake - I'm not smart enough to be here, and every time I opened my mouth, I had to prove that I was not just a stupid actress. Sometimes insecurity and inexperience can cause you to strive for the standards and expectations imposed by other people. But you can use your lack of experience to forge your own path—one that is not dictated by others, but determined by you.”

American writer and Pulitzer Prize winner John Steinbeck wrote in his diary: “I am not a writer. I deceive myself and others." After finishing work on the novel "The Grapes of Wrath", which won him the award, he said: "Sometimes I think that I did something worthwhile, but when the work is finished, it turns into mediocrity. "

Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci doubted their abilities. The latter is credited with the phrase "Tell me, did I manage to do at least something?" Vincent van Gogh, according to contemporaries, suffered from permanent self-doubt, but once said: “If you hear a voice inside yourself telling you that you cannot draw, do it by any means, and the voice will be silent.”

Problems in personal relationships

Uncertainty in personal life is manifested in the fact that a person questions his ability to please someone. At the start of a new relationship, he may experience fear that the person next to him will “notice” his shortcomings and be disappointed. In the existing relationship, this is an infringement of one's needs, because it will be more convenient for someone, jealousy, and sometimes an endless shifting of one's anxieties and doubts to a partner.

Photo: Unsplash

How to overcome self-doubt

According to Yulia Khvorova, self-doubt is a reversible process if you start working with it. Obsessive thoughts about one's own inadequacy must be compensated by new positive attitudes and thinking techniques. At the same time, getting rid of uncertainty does not go away in a couple of weeks - this is a long work. Khvorova suggests the following steps:

  • Formulate and write down your positive qualities and strengths, without touching on achievements . This is necessary for the formation of a person's understanding that he has something to love for, regardless of achievements.
  • Swap self-criticism for self-validation. When a person is not confident in himself, he is more sensitive to mistakes and failures, sometimes imaginary. Validation is normalization: you need to remind yourself that all people make mistakes, this is normal and appropriate. Self-criticism in this case is a useless thing that does not help in any way, only throws up a bunch of thoughts “why I am bad”, but not a single one about how to become better.
  • Replace the concept of “error” with the phrase “growth zone”: lack of experience or skill - this is not a reason to self-flagellate, because I discovered my growth zone and, therefore, I can work on it.
  • Don't be self-centered. Insecure people are often very egocentric in looking for reasons for failure. In fact, it does not happen that the whole situation goes to dust just because of one person. It is necessary to force thinking not to follow the trodden path of searching for the guilty one in oneself, but to look wider.
  • Experiment. People with self-doubt often avoid trying things out of fear they won't succeed. But when a person refuses to perform an action, he absolutely receives reinforcement for his insecurity, because he remains there. Trying is always 50/50. If it is successful, this may be the first sprout of confidence.
  • Write down achievements and praise yourself. This is an advanced level. Insecure people tend to underestimate their accomplishments. You should focus on the moments when something works out, and praise yourself, inspire yourself with the idea that this success is not an accident, but the result of the efforts made.
  • Give yourself time. Uncertainty did not appear in a day, a week or a month, it was formed and consolidated over the years. To fix a new way of thinking, you also need to painstakingly create a habit. It is important to be persistent in applying the described techniques regularly, and not expect quick results.
  • Do not focus on the bad. Don't think that if something doesn't work, nothing will work at all.
  • Pay attention to the body. The human brain directly correlates with the body: it sends signals to it and collects information from it. The more a person reflects and maintains an uncertain posture, the deeper one can get stuck in this state. It makes sense to go from the opposite and work on posture, self-presentation and voice. The sooner you can get out of the pose of uncertainty, the easier it will be to let go of this feeling. Acting, singing or dancing courses can help with this.

When to seek professional help

According to Khvorova, one should definitely seek professional help when self-doubt begins to affect a person's life and blocks his personal and professional development. Yulia Anpilogova also lists the loss of healthy criticism as a reason — when a person’s self-image is totally at odds with the opinion of the environment: “In this case, it’s worth admitting that maybe not you are right, but everyone around. You are not the only one who sees a bunch of cars driving in the opposite direction, but you are driving in the opposite direction.

Work done on oneself or with a specialist does not guarantee that a person will never experience uncertainty again. But it will be easier and faster to cope with this state and get out of it.

3 steps to develop a strong character

July 20 Motivation

Iron character is not expressed in authoritarianism at all.



You can listen to the article. If it's more convenient for you, turn on the podcast:

There are many definitions of a strong person. Most often, this concept is associated with such qualities as honesty, responsibility and self-control. These tips will help you pump up the strengths of your personality and tighten your weaknesses.

1. Develop your positive qualities

Be honest

Don't let your words diverge from your actions. Do not try to imitate emotions that you do not experience: often people notice falsehood. For example, if you're annoyed that your partner works so hard, find the strength to say, “I'm sorry I'm so angry and not supportive. I think it's because I just miss you."

Increase your awareness

Mindfulness allows you to explore yourself on a deeper level, to understand how your ideas and reactions are formed, and this is an important step in working on your character. Set aside time for daily reflection when you can ask yourself questions such as “Why did I react to these words the way I did?” and “What can I do to avoid a similar conflict in the future?”.

Meditation also helps increase awareness. Now there are many books, applications and master classes for those who want to make meditation their daily practice, but lack free time. Use them!

Develop self-control

Start with the little things in everyday life. For example, set a goal to control spontaneous food intake. The next time you decide to have a nighttime snack, stop and ask yourself if you're really hungry. Then drink a glass of water. Consciously manage your impulses and introduce small household habits into your life, for example, start making your bed in the morning. This will help you develop discipline that will come in handy in other areas of your life.

Be true to your principles

If your actions are not in line with your beliefs, you will always feel uncomfortable. Know and respect your values ​​and moral principles. Make decisions based on them and don't give in to outside pressure.

Always review your solutions to see if they match your internal settings.

Take responsibility for your mistakes and correct them

Everyone makes mistakes, and how you deal with the consequences of your wrong decisions reflects your character. Admitting your mistakes is a sign of strength, not weakness. Don't be afraid to apologize if the situation calls for it, or to make amends for the damage done. Saying, “Sorry for stealing your idea. I confess to everyone that she is yours”, you will show the strength of your character and build relationships with others based on trust and mutual respect.

Be patient

It is perfectly normal to feel irritated in certain situations. But patience and endurance can and should be trained. For example, if your colleague does not grasp information as quickly as you would like, think about it, maybe this is due to the fact that you do not explain clearly enough? Or maybe he just doesn't have your technical background and you should cut back on the use of technical terms? Learn to ask questions and don't jump to conclusions.

Ask for an honest assessment

Sometimes it's hard to be objective about yourself. If you are serious about working on your character, ask someone you trust to give you an honest, constructive assessment. Ask about your strengths and weaknesses, thank you for the feedback, and start working on yourself.

2. Learn empathy and gratitude

Put yourself in the other person's shoes

The capacity for compassion is at the heart of strength of character. Try to imagine how other people feel. Maybe your friend recently lost a loved one, so he became sullen and irritable? Put yourself in his place, and you will be able to understand the motives of his actions. And then it will become clear to you that now he needs not criticism, but friendly support.

Deal with prejudices

Most people have prejudices, conscious or unconscious, that have developed, many of which have nothing to do with reality. For example, the idea that people without higher education are not as smart as university graduates. Look around and you will find real examples that disprove this belief.

Being aware of your bias is the first step towards overcoming it.

Learn to experience and express gratitude

Gratitude is an important step towards understanding yourself and the world around you. Make it a part of your daily life and see how your character changes. Every night before bed, think of three things for which you are grateful. You can even keep a diary of your thoughts.

Also don't forget to express gratitude to people who deserve it. A simple "thank you" or a long comment about how much you appreciate the other person's actions helps to see you as a strong personality.

3. Be a leader

Speak up and let others speak

Dealing with shyness can take a lot of effort, but your voice needs to be heard. Try to actively participate in work meetings, speak clearly and clearly, justify your point of view, and, sooner or later, others will begin to listen to you.

If you do not have problems with shyness, you may not notice how often you interrupt others and do not let them speak. The manifestation of restraint also testifies to the strength of character. Let others be heard and organize discussions more often.

Be open to new things

Every time you learn something new, you shape your character. Don't miss the opportunity to apply this principle in your personal life and at work. You can say to your boss: “I would like to know more about the accounting part of our project. May I attend today's meeting on this matter?"

Feel free to ask for help

Some people think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. In fact, this is an indicator of the strength of your character, your ability to recognize and articulate your needs. Your requests should be specific and clear. Instead of saying, “You don’t do anything around the house at all!” try saying, “It would be great if you could do laundry and walk the dog today.

Learn more