Rules for teens


5 House Rules for Teenagers You Should Be Enforcing

NewFolks may earn a commission when you buy through links on our site.

By Leslie Anderson

Despite the eye-rolling and verbal protest, you must do it anyway. Establishing house rules for teenagers presents a challenge to both parents and teens, but it’s a necessary step toward teaching your son or daughter a vital life skill — which is taking accountability for one’s own actions. Plus, you’re also keeping your teen grounded in reality by establishing boundaries and communicating the message that every place and every situation has ground rules.

Contents

  • What are some good house rules for teenagers?
  • What rules should 14-year-olds have?
  • What are the roles and responsibilities of a teenager at home?

So, we bring you some ideas that’ll make the process less painful. Furthermore, if you involve your teen in setting up the rules and consequences, then most likely, you’ll get more buy-in.

What are some good house rules for teenagers?

The trick to setting up house rules for teenagers involves allowing them enough space to learn from mistakes and celebrate the triumphs, but giving them enough guidance to keep them safe and make the right choices. It’s a delicate situation at times, but here are five rules to start out with:

1. You will have a curfew

Setting up a reasonable curfew (preferably before midnight) not only keeps your teen safe and ideally out of trouble, but it also helps them to maintain healthy sleep patterns and self-discipline. After all, most trouble usually occurs after the “bewitching hour.” Plus, your kid will have a job someday — possibly on the weekends — that requires them to get plenty of rest.

2. You will limit your screen/social media time

Keeping the phone, game system, or tablet turned off is a definite must when you’re trying to teach your teen healthy habits. Thus, two hours per day is reasonable, and the logic behind this relates to the many physical and mental health issues that stem from prolonged screen time. Likewise, use this opportunity to encourage your teenager to seek out in-person contact with friends and family.

3. Everyone at home has chores

This statement is the absolute truth. You and your partner might share in the household duties, which sets a good example. However, incorporating chores into the house rules for teens shows them how to take care of their own living space and teaches them how to take responsibility and help out as a family member.

4. Abide by the Golden Rule

At this point, your teenager knows that respect for others is key to establishing and keeping healthy relationships. However, being that everyone is only human, you can use disagreements as teachable moments for modeling constructive conflict resolution and communication. Also, this presents an opportunity to teach them about consideration and respecting other people’s boundaries.

5. Remember not to take trust for granted

While the concept of trust might not seem to fall into the category of house rules, it still relates to responsibility, honesty, and natural consequences. For instance, if your teen lies about where they’re going on Saturday, and you find out, you might have a hard time believing them — at least for quite a while. Also, if you trust your child to use social media safely and prudently, but they post something inappropriate, then trust is hard to come by.

You can teach your child that their word or promise means a lot to a family member or to a friend. Trust shouldn’t be taken for granted. At the same time, you can also differentiate between trust and unconditional love, which of course, your teen will never lose. They might make a mistake, but you’ll always love that person.

What rules should 14-year-olds have?

Younger teens, like 14-year-olds, might require slightly different rules than older teens of 17 or 18. They can’t legally drive yet, but they need a social life — and a ride on occasion. So, the rules mentioned above definitely apply. However, you might need to make a few adjustments. For instance, the curfew for going out might be earlier, or you can encourage your teenager to invite friends over for a game or movie night. Either way, remember that you’re playing chauffeur for a bit longer, so patience is key.

At age 14, you might start establishing more open communication with your child about the tough subjects, such as relationships, drugs, and alcohol. Knowing that relationships are bound to happen, this is still a learning process. You can help your teen learn the signs of a healthy relationship or a toxic one, especially how to avoid the latter. As for controlled substances, you might discuss the health issues that come about from ingesting these chemicals, not to mention the legal penalty for a juvenile who makes that foolish choice.

Ultimately, the key idea to remember about the early teen years is to give just enough freedom for learning, but not so much that your child has no idea of the expectations or consequences.

What are the roles and responsibilities of a teenager at home?

As children get older, they hope to gain more freedom, but with freedom comes responsibility, like helping out at home and maintaining school performance. Luckily, there is one way to handle this situation without complicating the matter too much for either party, and that is to set aside some time with your teen to establish a house rules contract. Placing all rules and responsibilities in writing makes them more concrete and memorable, which means your teenager will be held accountable and not be able to say, “I didn’t know,” or “I didn’t understand” if an issue comes up.

Moreover, this contract that lists out roles and responsibilities should include parents and siblings. This keeps your youth from feeling set apart from the other siblings. Likewise, when your kid actively participates in this process, then, as mentioned in the beginning, you’ll get more cooperation, and best of all, communication. Of course, you’ll need to establish the non-negotiables like the curfew, chores (though your teen can give some preferences), and the cellphone at the dinner table.

Coming up with house rules for teens might be the simple part, whereas enforcing them could present a challenge. Regardless, when you clearly outline those expectations and set the limits, your teen will not only come to understand but also cooperate and even appreciate the boundaries and the life lessons.

Editors' Recommendations
  • 5 hobbies for teens that will help combat their addiction to video games
  • How to stop food obsession in children
  • Can you get your nails done while pregnant? These are the factors to consider
  • Your questions answered – Everything you need to know about baby-led weaning
  • Feeding toddlers when sick: What to feed a toddler with a fever

21 Strong Yet Smooth House Rules For Teenagers

Ways for teenagers to enjoy their freedom while staying grounded and respectful.

Research-backed

MomJunction believes in providing reliable, research-backed information to you. As per our strong editorial policy requirements, we base our health articles on references (citations) taken from authority sites, international journals, and research studies. However, if you find any incongruencies, feel free to write to us.

Image: iStock

Parenting your teen can be a demanding task. One trick is to begin teaching them from home by setting certain house rules for teenagers. As a child progresses to their teenage, they begin developing their ideas and views. Hence, it is the sheer responsibility of parents to guide them on the right path. Teenage being the most tender age, you must ensure to educate the vital skills such as compassion, discipline, and other virtues of goodness in your child. But make sure not to constrain your child’s creativity and freedom while helping them evolve into responsible individuals. Reading this post could further allow you to explore the types of house rules to consider for your teen that could help them develop into better individuals.

21 House Rules For Teens That You Cannot Ignore

Whether you have teenagers, preteens, or younger kids, good house rules enable children to use their newfound independence safely (1).

We have divided the list of rules into specific categories for ease of understanding and implementation.

Rules To Stay Safe

A teenager’s newfound independence could land them in trouble. Whether it is experimenting with alcohol, drugs, driving fast, going out at odd hours, or meeting new people, a teen can get carried away. But with these five rules, you can let your teenager experiment with his independence, but safely and responsibly (2) (3).

1. Impose road safety rules

 

Image: Shutterstock

Your teenager would be enthusiastic about learning how to drive, but make sure they attain the permissible age as per your state laws before allowing them to drive cars or bikes.

Once they earn their license, establish certain rules regarding road safety, such as:

  • No exceeding the speed limits
  • No drinking and driving (if they are of the legal age)
  • No texting or talking on the phone while driving
  • Always wear a seatbelt or a helmet

In the US, nearly 10,000 people died in car crashes in 2016 because the drivers were under the influence of alcohol. Drunk driving is one of the biggest reasons for road accidents involving teenagers. So, do not hesitate to be strict while imposing these rules.

Related: Road Safety For Kids - 13 Rules Your Kids Should Know

2. Look out for substance abuse

 

Make sure that your teenager does not start consuming alcohol before the legal age. Once they attain the age, It is advised to discuss the ill effects of excess alcohol consumption.

You may not be able to restrict their alcohol consumption completely, but you can place certain rules to limit consumption until they learn self-control. Also, have rules like:

  • Consuming alcohol until they blackout is not allowed.
  • A strict watch should be kept on them to check if they are experimenting with drugs.

Also, make it a point to set a limit on the number of times they can enjoy a drink.

3. Set a time limit

 

If allowed, teenagers might prefer to return home late in the night, but this is not good for their health and safety.

  • Set a reasonable time limit by when they must come back home.
  • If your child follows the deadline, you may allow some extra hours on special occasions.
  • Set a fixed bedtime for your teens for school days and holidays.

They may not like these rules, but ensuring that they go to bed at a particular time every day, brings in discipline. Explain why you are imposing this rule so that they do not rebel.

4. House party rules

Inviting friends over for a party is something your teenager might love doing, but here too, you need to have some rules and boundaries.

  • Your child should not arrange for a party without adult supervision.
  • They need to ask your permission before organizing such an event.
  • If you agreed for the party, make sure your child would be responsible for any absurd events, if they might occur.

In case your child is argumentative, explain to them the serious implications of irresponsible behavior.

Related: 26 House Rules For Kids And Tips To Help Them Follow

5. Going out? Give prior information

 

This is a tricky rule to impose if you have a strong-willed teenager, as they may feel grown-up and want to make their own decisions. While they should have the freedom to choose what is right for them, you must set a few rules initially and guide them to ensure their safety.

  • If they are planning an outing with friends, they need to inform you.
  • For any reason, if they are running late, they would need to call you and inform their whereabouts.
  • If they are planning a trip out of town, they need to inform you before and give you the full details.

Be careful while imposing these rules, as your teenager might take these as restrictions. Explain to them these rules are for their safety, and you would back off as soon as you gain confidence in their judgment.

Rules To Teach Ethics And Morality

Adolescents are at a vulnerable stage where they are trying to identify what is right and wrong. In the absence of proper guidance, their demarcation between good and bad might get blurred. Hence, the need for the rules discussed below:

6. Respect is essential

This is a golden rule that your teenager should follow.

  • They cannot disrespect parents or guardians.
  • They should also be polite and treat guests with respect.

7. Acknowledge and respond

Image: iStock

This rule will help promote healthy conversations between you and your child. This should not be put across as a rule, but you need to explain that whenever you are talking to them, they need to acknowledge it and respond, whether or not they agree with you.

This would help in promoting a healthy relationship with your teenager and understanding each other’s perspectives

8. No bullying, gossiping, and name-calling

They are signs of disrespect. Physical or verbal abuse, including pinching, kicking, screaming, or yelling at someone, is disrespectful.

  • Tell them to be polite and use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when they should.
  • Teach them how to put forth their point without sounding disrespectful

People in the real world expect these basic courtesies. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your kids how to treat people with respect. Tell your teens that if they expect respect from others, they need to give respect to others.

9. Be honest

Integrity is important.

  • Teach your kids to be honest.
  • Make it clear to your teens that lying is unacceptable.
  • They need to be truthful with you all the time, which also means that they should not omit any details or hide the truth from you.
  • Teach them to be honest, always. If they make a promise, they must keep it.

Honesty is a trait your young adult will develop by observing. So, make sure that you and your spouse are good examples for your teen to follow.

10. Ask before you borrow

  • Be it a friend, family member, or a neighbor, teach your children to ask before borrowing or taking anything from anyone.
  • Explain that when they don’t ask, it could be perceived as stealing, which is wrong.
  • And if they borrow something, make it a rule that they would need to return it.

11. Knock before you enter

  • Always knock before entering someone’s bedroom.
  • Children should always wait for a response before entering the parent’s bedroom or a sibling’s room.
  • Parents can knock and enter, and they do not need to wait for a response.

No peeping into a room: respect others’ privacy, no matter how close you are to them.

Rules To Build Healthy Habits

Rules are perhaps the practical tools to help children develop healthy personal habits. Here are a few rules which might help in building healthy habits in your children.

12. Do your homework

Being regular to school and completing the homework in time is important to secure good grades. Usually, children tend to get distracted from doing homework and may end up spending too much time and get bored with it eventually. So, setting a few rules around that task can resolve this issue.

  • They need to complete their homework before they can watch TV or go out with friends.
  • Sit with them and help them with their homework if necessary.
  • Tell them to set a time before which they need to finish their homework.

13. Use of gadgets

Digital devices are necessary but could be addictive too. Having rules in place can help prevent your child from getting addicted to a cell phone or a computer.

  • If your child wants a cell phone, they should be able to pay for it by themselves.
  • Restrict the use of the phone to a specific time.
  • Children should not use cell phones at the dinner table, or when someone is talking to them.
  • They cannot use the phone after a set time during the night.
  • Also, impose rules on social media posts and online relationships.

This will encourage them to save and earn the privilege of using the device. Also, here are a couple of examples of such house rules for teenagers:

Have similar rules for the use of a computer.

  • Set a time limit for using the computer.
  • Restrict access to websites that are inappropriate for their age.
  • Give them the laptop only after they have finished their homework.

Related: 13 Positive And Negative Influences Of Media On Teenagers

14. Rules for TV, video games and movies

Have rules in place for:

  • When your child can watch TV, go to a movie or play video games.
  • Have rules on the kind of films, games, or channels they can access.
  • Limit the time they spend playing games or watching TV for an hour every day.

Rules That Build Life Skills

Your teenager will soon go to college, which means they have to live all by himself, do things on their own, and find ways to solve problems. You cannot handhold your kids all their lives. What you can do is prepare them for life. These are a few house rules for teenagers that can help them develop skills they need to survive in the real world.

15. Doing chores

Image: iStock

Chores are for everyone, and they need to be completed on time. That should be the general rule in the house.

Alexander Alvarado, PsyD, a New York-based licensed clinical psychologist, says, “Tasks that require discipline, time management, and regularity are very important because these traits are translated into a healthy adult lifestyle. Discuss with them the chores they can help with or a weekly commitment to a job, hobby, or volunteership.”

  • Give your teens a few things that they need to do every day.
  • It could be something as simple as taking out the garbage, walking the dog, cleaning the table after dinner, or doing the dishes or laundry on certain days.
  • There is no excuse for not doing the chores (unless they are sick or not at home).
  • They cannot leave their bags, shoes, or clothes all around the house.

Remember that the idea of getting your children to help you with the chores is to teach them basic household management skills. So, on days when they have a lot of homework or during exams, or when they have extracurricular activities, you can exempt them from doing the chores. But not always.

16. Being Clean

Cleanliness should be taught from childhood. Set these rules that teach them to be clean.

  • Your teens must clean up their room every day.
  • Make their bed every morning, put clothes for laundry in the basket, and not on the floor.
  • Clean up their closets and bathrooms too.
  • If they take the milk carton out from the fridge, they need to put it back after using it.

These rules make it easier for them when they have to share space with a friend, a roommate, girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse.

17. Taking responsibility

Before your teen takes any decision, explain the consequences, and ask them if they are prepared to handle all that.

  • Tell your teens that they need to own up their actions and accept the consequences.
  • There should be no complaining, whining, crying, pouting, or arguing with you.
  • Blaming others for their deeds, trying to escape the consequences by screaming, crying, and making others feel bad is manipulation, which is not a good trait.
  • Make it clear that you are there for them but would not clean the mess they make; it’s their responsibility.

Rules For A Healthy Social Life

Teenagers typically have an active social life. They like to spend more time with their friends than with you. Adolescence is also the time when boys and girls start dating. Allow them to explore the social scene but have some rules until they learn self-discipline.

18. Going on a date has some rules

Set rules that give your teen some freedom to mingle with the other sex, else they will hide their relationships with you, which is not healthy. Explain the difference between infatuation and love, talk about harmless flirting, and rules about socializing with the opposite sex.

If your teen is nearing adulthood, talk about safe sex practices. Also, voice your concern about your teenage daughter’s safety and talk about issues like date rape and date drugs. Establish certain dating rules for teenagers:

  • Dating is allowed only when they reach a certain age, say 16 years.
  • They should be back home by a certain time when they go out on a date.
  • They need to inform you where they are going on a date.
  • Physical contact, such as holding hands, kissing, and sex is not allowed until they reach a certain age.
  • Have a list of places they can go to and cannot go to.

Your children may not agree with these rules at home, but make it clear that you are an adult who has been through that stage in life, and therefore know more than them. Make them abide by the rules.

19. Friendship rules

You may not like your teen’s choices when it comes to friends. But you cannot choose your teen’s friends. Thankfully, you can influence their choice by guidance. You can also have rules on the amount of time your teenager would spend with their friends. But take care that you do not sound controlling.

  • Observe who your child spends time with.
  • Make it a point that your child introduces their friends to you.
  • Keep a check on your child’s activities while with friends.
  • You can also teach them how to deal with break-ups from their friends and how to handle bullying.

20. No yelling

Learning how to regulate emotions is critical for your child. Managing emotions is not the suppression of feelings or hiding them. It is about expressing them in a healthy way, without violence or aggression. Teenagers are emotionally vulnerable and need guidance on how to manage their overwhelming feelings.

  • Have rules in place that help them manage emotions such as anger, jealousy, and fear.
  • Have a rule that if they are angry, they can take a five-minute break and talk about it later.
  • Shouting or screaming, throwing things, hurling abuses, or anything else that can hurt others is not acceptable.
  • When your teenager is out of control, give them time off, and firmly tell them you are ready to discuss only when they calm down.

The idea is to teach them that it is okay to go through negative emotions such as jealousy or anger. But it is important to express it healthily, not to harm themselves or others.

21. Always there for you

Another important family rule for teenagers is to talk if something is bothering them. These rules are both for you as well as your teenager.

  • Tell your kids to talk to you. Most importantly, make them comfortable talking to you.
  • Be their friend and listen to them without judging them. Only then will the rule of honest communication be effective.
  • Do not interrupt when someone is speaking. You speak when it is your turn to do so.
  • Listen to the other person with an open mind. Don’t judge them or determine if they are guilty or not without hearing them out.
  • Try to understand the other person’s point of view, be empathetic.

By having these rules, you can teach your kids how to communicate without offending another person, a skill we all need for successful relationships.

Setting rules is your job, and you do it perfectly. But will your teens do their job of following the rules? Teach them the importance of these rules, and they might follow them.

Importance Of Rules And Consequences

Image: Shutterstock

Children long for freedom and independence in their teenage years. Unlike matured adults, teenagers need guidance to stay on their path and not stray into dangerous territories. More importantly, they need to master the art of self-discipline, which can be achieved with rules that set clear expectations and consequences.

Dr. Angela Kenzslowe, PsyD, MBA, a psychologist, consultant, and speaker, says, “It is important to keep a check on teenagers because their brains are still developing, which means they may not be able to make good decisions or fully understand the consequences of their actions.

“Teenagers are more likely to engage in risky behaviors (such as drinking, drugs, and sex) than those who are older, so it is important for parents to be aware of what their children are doing and who they are hanging out with.”

That said, setting and enforcing rules is not a cakewalk. Nevertheless, parents should have a list of house rules for teenagers to develop positive personal traits and values. Every family should have:

  • General house rules, which apply to the entire family. These reflect your values and help you determine what is acceptable behavior and what is not. For example, treating others with respect is a house rule that every member of the family should follow.
  • Teenager house rules, which your adolescent must follow. These rules are in addition to the general house rules and aim at helping your vulnerable teen build character and lay the foundation for a successful professional and personal life.
  • Consequences, if the teenager breaks the rules. Unlike the popular adage, rules are not meant to be broken. If anyone in the house breaks a rule, then they must face the consequences. The consequences should be fair and impact only the person who has broken the rules.
  • Most importantly, discuss the rules and the consequences with your children before you enforce them. That way, your kids will know what to expect when they defy the rules. Remember that the discussion is only to inform them, not adjust the rules to suit them.

Rules do not pertain to just discipline. They are also for the teenager’s safety and personal development.

7 Tips To Enforce Rules Of The House For Teenagers

Image: Shutterstock

Alvarado suggests, “Reinforcement can take you to the next level. Encouraging the right behavior at the right time and associating the right behaviors with it can be a game changer. Offer them things that internally motivate the child. Compliment their traits and abilities. If you have to give incentives, let them know it is for their traits (honesty, regularity, etc.).”

Enforcing house rules on teenagers is no easy task. Adolescents think that they do not need their parents’ help. The fact is that they need guidance and discipline. Here are some tips that can help you establish house rules:

  1. Discuss the rules and consequences with your kids. The agenda should be to bring clarity about what behaviors are acceptable and what are not.
  1. Be fair and practical when setting up consequences – your children should not feel like they are being singled out or being targeted.
  1. The consequence should be relevant to the rule that is being broken. Both parents should be on the same page and should not give an impression that one of the parents is easy to manipulate.
  1. Be consistent with the rules and the consequences. If a rule is broken, they must face the consequences. No excuses.
  1. Be open to discussion, but do not get into explaining yourself.
  1. Be open-minded and listen to them as long as they are not shouting or hurling abuses. That does not mean you should give in to their demands. Understand their feelings and empathize but make it clear that rules are rules.
  1. If you have a difficult teenager who keeps arguing about the consequences of breaking the rules, you may want to draw up a house rules contract. Make them read it, understand the consequences, and get them to sign it. That way, they will not be able to argue with you.

Your children may not understand the need for all these rules. They may even hate you for it. But you love them. Otherwise, you would not go through the trouble of coming up with a list of home rules for your teenagers.

Disciplining a teen is essential to guide them to use their newfound independence judiciously. Hence, you should not deter from setting clear and mutually decided house rules for teenagers. While you set rules in place, guide your child to follow them right. Show them how these rules are beneficial for them and lead by example. If the teenager doesn’t adhere to these rules, tell them about the consequences they will have to face. Be consistent in enforcing rules but don’t make them too stringent as else the teenager may become rebellious.

References:

MomJunction's articles are written after analyzing the research works of expert authors and institutions. Our references consist of resources established by authorities in their respective fields. You can learn more about the authenticity of the information we present in our editorial policy.

  1. How do I set house rules for my teenager?.
    https://parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/behaviour/using-rules-rewards/how-do-i-set-house-rules-for-my-teenager/
  2. Must-have safety rules at home for your family.
    https://staysafe.org/must-have-safety-rules-at-home-for-your-family/
  3. Setting rules with teens.
    https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/ch_three_rules.pdf

The following two tabs change content below.

  • Reviewer
  • Author

Sagari was a math graduate and studied counseling psychology in postgraduate college, which she used to understand people better. Her interest in reading about people made her take up articles on kids and their behavior. She was meticulous in her research and gave information that could be of help to parents in times of need. An animal lover, vegan, and...
View Profile ›

With a passion for reading and understanding about the human mind and how it functions, Dr Sadhvi Mythili took up Psychiatry after completing her graduation in Medicine from Kakatiya Medical College, Telangana. She pursued post graduation from the prestigious Asha Hospital. With over five years of experience in Psychiatry (adult and child), Dr. Mythili is currently working with Apollo Clinic...
View Profile ›

21 Strict But Perfect Household Rules For Teenagers

Raising a teenager is often considered a difficult task. As your innocent and obedient children begin to develop their own ideas and thoughts, it is your responsibility as a parent to guide them in the right direction. And for this you need to establish some rules at home.

The rules we are talking about should not limit the freedom and creativity of your growing child, but should be his path to becoming a responsible adult.

Adolescence is a tender and appropriate age to teach discipline, compassion, and decency to your children. So set the rules and don't be afraid to be a little stricter in areas where your teen needs your support. In this post, Mentalar brings you five types of house rules that you can apply in your home.

21 Teen House Rules Not to Ignore

Whether you have teenagers, teens, or young children, good house rules allow children to safely use their newfound independence.

We have divided the list of rules into specific categories for ease of understanding and application.

Safety Rules

A teenager's independence can get him into trouble. Whether it's experimenting with alcohol, drugs, driving fast, going out after hours, or meeting new people, a teenager can get carried away. But with these five rules, you can let your teen experiment with their independence safely and responsibly.

1. Establish traffic safety rules

Your teen will love learning to drive, but make sure they are of legal age under your state's laws before allowing them to drive or bike.

Once they get a license, set certain road safety rules such as:

  • Do not exceed the speed limit
  • Drunk driving prohibited (if they are of legal age)
  • No texting or talking on the phone while driving
  • Always wear your seat belt or helmet

In the United States, about 10,000 people died in car accidents in 2016 because drivers were under the influence of alcohol (1) . Drunk driving is one of the leading causes of road traffic accidents involving teenagers. So feel free to be strict when setting these rules.

2. Beware of Substance Abuse

Make sure your teen doesn't start drinking before they reach adulthood. When reaching age, it is recommended to discuss the harmful effects of excessive drinking.

You may not be able to completely limit their alcohol consumption, but you can make certain rules to limit their consumption until they learn self-control. Also, keep rules such as:

  • Drinking alcohol is not allowed before the power outage.
  • They should be closely monitored to see if they experiment with drugs.

Also, set a limit on the number of times they can drink.

3. Set a time limit

If allowed, teenagers may choose to return home late at night, but this is bad for their health and safety.

  • Set a reasonable time for them to return home.
  • If your child is meeting deadlines, you can set aside a few extra hours for special occasions.
  • Set fixed bedtimes for teens during school days and holidays.

They may not like these rules, but making sure they go to bed at a certain time every day brings them discipline. Explain why you are introducing this rule so they don't rebel.

4. House Party Rules

Your teenager may like to invite friends to a party, but even here you must have certain rules and boundaries.

  • Your child should not have a party without adult supervision.
  • They need to ask your permission before organizing such an event.
  • If you agreed to the party, make sure your child is held responsible for any absurd events that might occur.

If your child is argumentative, explain to him the serious consequences of irresponsible behavior.

5. Are you leaving? Provide preliminary information

This is not an easy rule to follow if you have a strong-willed teenager, as he may feel like an adult and want to make his own decisions. While they should have the freedom to choose what suits them, you should initially set up and manage a few rules to keep them safe.

  • If they plan to go out with friends, they should let you know.
  • For any reason, if they are late, they will need to call you and tell you where they are.
  • If they are planning a trip out of town, they need to tell you in advance and provide full details.

Be careful when setting these rules as your teenager may see them as restrictive. Explain to them that these rules are for their safety, and you will back off once you have confidence in their judgment.

Rules for Teaching Ethics and Morals

Adolescents are at a vulnerable stage when they are trying to determine what is good and what is bad. In the absence of proper guidance, their line between good and evil can be blurred. Therefore, the need for rules is discussed below:

6. Respect is essential

This is the golden rule that your teenager should follow.

  • They cannot disrespect their parents or guardians.
  • They must also be polite and respectful to guests.

7. Confirm and answer

This rule will promote healthy communication between you and your child. As a rule, this should not be said, but you need to explain that whenever you talk to them, they must acknowledge this and answer whether they agree with you or not.

This will help you establish a healthy relationship with your teenager and understand each other's points of view.

8. Bullying, gossip and insults are prohibited

These are signs of disrespect. Physical or verbal abuse, including pinching, kicking, screaming or screaming at someone, is disrespectful.

  • Tell them to be polite and use "please" and "thank you" when they should.
  • Teach them how to present their point of view without being disrespectful

People in the real world expect these elementary courtesies. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your children to treat people with respect. Tell your teens that if they expect respect from others, they need to show respect to others.

9. Be Honest

Honesty is important.

  • Teach your children to be honest.
  • Make it clear to teenagers that lying is unacceptable.
  • They must always be truthful with you, which also means that they must not leave out any details or hide the truth from you.
  • Always teach them to be honest. If they make a promise, they must keep it.

Honesty is a trait that your young man will develop by watching. So make sure you and your spouse are good role models for your teen.

10. Ask Before You Borrow

  • Whether it's a friend, family member, or neighbor, teach your children to ask before you borrow anything from anyone.
  • Explain that when they don't ask, it might be seen as stealing, which is wrong.
  • And if they lend something, make it a rule that they must return it.

11. Knock before entering.

  • Always knock before entering someone's bedroom.
  • Children should always wait for an answer before entering the bedroom of their parents or siblings.
  • Parents can knock and come in without having to wait for an answer.

Do not look into the room: respect the privacy of others, no matter how close you are to them.

Rules for Forming Healthy Habits

Rules are perhaps a practical tool to help children develop healthy personal habits. Here are a few rules that can help you build healthy habits for your kids.

12. Do your homework.

Regular school attendance and homework assignments are important for getting good grades. Children are usually distracted from doing homework and may end up wasting too much time and eventually getting bored. So setting multiple rules for this task can solve this problem.

  • They need to do their homework before they can watch TV or hang out with friends.
  • Sit down with them and help them with their homework if necessary.
  • Ask them to set a time by which they need to finish their homework.

13. Use of gadgets.

Digital devices are essential but can also be addictive. Having rules in place will help prevent your child from being addicted to a cell phone or computer.

  • If your child needs a mobile phone, they can pay for it themselves.
  • Restrict phone usage to a specific time.
  • Children should not use mobile phones at the dinner table or when someone is talking to them.
  • They cannot use the phone at the set time at night.
  • In addition, impose rules on social media posts and online relationships.

This will encourage them to save money and earn the privilege of using the device. Also here are a couple of examples of such house rules for teenagers:

Have similar rules for using your computer.

  • Set a time limit for using the computer.
  • Restrict access to websites inappropriate for their age.
  • Give them a laptop only after they have done their homework.

14.

Rules for TV, Video Games, and Movies

Develop rules for:

  • When your child can watch TV, go to the movies, or play video games.
  • Set rules for movies, games or channels they can access.
  • Limit the time they spend playing games or watching TV to one hour each day.

Rules for Developing Life Skills

Your teenager is about to go to college, which means he will have to live on his own, do things on his own and find ways to solve problems. You cannot hold your children in your arms for the rest of their lives. What you can do is prepare them for life. These are some house rules for teenagers that can help them develop the skills they need to survive in the real world.

15. Housework

Housework is for everyone and must be done on time. This should be the general rule in the house.

  • Give teens a few things to do each day.
  • It could be something as simple as taking out the trash, walking the dog, cleaning the table after dinner, doing the dishes, or doing laundry on certain days.
  • There is no excuse for not doing housework (except when they are sick or not at home).
  • They cannot leave their bags, shoes or clothes around the house.

Remember that the idea behind helping you with household chores is to teach them basic housekeeping skills. So, on days when they have a lot of homework or during exams, or when they have extracurricular activities, you can free them from doing housework. But not always.

16. To be clean

Cleanliness must be taught from childhood. Set these rules that teach them to be clean.

  • Teenagers must clean their room every day.
  • Make your bed every morning, put laundry in the basket, not on the floor.
  • Clean their toilets and bathrooms.
  • If they take the milk carton out of the refrigerator, they will need to put it back after use.

These rules make life easier for them when they have to share space with a friend, roommate, girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse.

17. Taking responsibility

Before your teen makes a decision, explain the implications and ask if they are prepared to deal with it.

  • Tell teens that they need to acknowledge their actions and accept the consequences.
  • There should be no complaining, whining, crying, pouting, or arguing with you.
  • Blaming others for your actions, trying to escape the consequences by yelling, crying, and making others feel bad is manipulation, which is not a good trait.
  • Make it clear that you are with them, but will not clean up the mess they make; it is their responsibility.

Rules for a Healthy Social Life

Adolescents generally lead an active social life. They like to spend more time with their friends than with you. Adolescence is also the time when boys and girls start dating. Let them explore the social environment, but follow some rules until they learn self-discipline.

18. There are several rules for dating

Set rules that give your teen some freedom to interact with a member of the opposite sex, otherwise he will hide his relationship with you, which is not good. Explain the difference between infatuation and love, talk about harmless flirting and the rules of communication with the opposite sex.

If your teen is coming of age, talk about safer sex practices. Also, voice your concerns about your teenage daughter's safety and discuss issues such as date rape and date drugs. Set specific dating rules for teens:

  • Visits are allowed only after reaching a certain age, say 16 years.
  • They must return home by a certain time when they are going on a date.
  • They need to tell you where they are going on a date.
  • Physical contact such as holding hands, kissing and sex is prohibited until they reach a certain age.
  • Make a list of places they can and can't go.

Your children may not agree with these rules at home, but they make it clear that you are an adult who has gone through this stage in life and therefore know more than they do. Make them follow the rules.

19. Rules of Friendship

You may not like your teen's choice of friends. But you can't choose the teen's friends. Fortunately, you can influence their choice with the help of a guide. You can also set rules for the amount of time your teen will spend with their friends. But be careful not to sound controlling.

  • Watch who your child spends time with.
  • Emphasize your child introducing their friends to you.
  • Keep track of what your child is doing with friends.
  • You can also teach them how to deal with breakups and how to deal with bullying.

20. Don't scream

Learning to manage emotions is very important for your child. Emotion management is not about suppressing feelings or hiding them. It's about expressing them in a healthy way, without violence or aggression. Teenagers are emotionally vulnerable and need advice on how to deal with their overwhelming feelings.

  • Set rules to help them manage emotions such as anger, jealousy, and fear.
  • Make it a rule that if they are angry, they can take a five-minute break and talk about it later.
  • Shouting or yelling, throwing things, insults and other actions that may harm others are not allowed.
  • When your teen is out of control, give him a break and tell him firmly that you are ready for a discussion only when he calms down.

The idea is to teach them that negative emotions such as jealousy or anger are normal. But it is important to express it in a healthy way and not to harm yourself or others.

21. Always there

Another important family rule for teenagers is to talk if something is bothering them. These rules apply to both you and your teen.

  • Tell your children to talk to you. The most important thing is that they feel comfortable talking to you.
  • Be their friends and listen to them without judging them. Only then will the rule of honest communication be effective.
  • Do not interrupt when someone is talking. You speak when it's your turn to do so.
  • Listen to the other person with an open mind. Do not judge them and do not determine whether they are guilty or not without listening to them.
  • Try to understand the other person's point of view, show empathy.

With these rules in place, you can teach your children to communicate without hurting the other person, a skill we all need for successful relationships.

Setting the rules is your job, and you do it very well. But will your teens do their job by the rules? Teach them the importance of these rules so they can follow them.

Importance of Rules and Consequences

Children strive for freedom and independence during adolescence. Unlike grown-up adults, teenagers need advice so they don't go astray and wander into dangerous territory. More importantly, they need to master the art of self-discipline, which can be achieved through rules that set clear expectations and consequences.

However, setting up and following the rules is not a cakewalk. However, parents should have a list of house rules for teenagers to develop positive personal qualities and values. Each family must have:

  • General Rules of Residence that apply to the whole family. They reflect your values ​​and help determine what behavior is acceptable and what is not. For example, treating others with respect is a household rule that every member of the family must follow.
  • Teen house rules that your teen must follow. These rules are in addition to the general rules of the home and are designed to help the vulnerable teenager build character and lay the foundation for a successful professional and personal life.
  • Consequences if the teenager breaks the rules. Contrary to the popular saying, rules are not to be broken. If anyone in the house breaks the rule, they will face the consequences. The consequences must be fair and concern only the person who violated the rules.
  • Most importantly , discuss rules and consequences with children before applying them. This way, your kids will know what to expect when they break the rules. Remember that the discussion is only to inform them and not to adjust the rules to suit them.

Rules are not just a discipline. They also serve for the safety and personal development of the adolescent.

7 Tips for Ensuring House Rules for Teenagers

Enforcing house rules for teenagers is not an easy task. Teenagers believe that they do not need the help of their parents. The fact is that they need guidance and discipline. Here are some tips to help you set house rules:

  1. Discuss rules and consequences with your children. The agenda should be to clarify what behavior is acceptable and what is not.
  1. Be fair and practical in determining consequences—your children should not feel like they are being singled out or harassed.
  1. Consequences must correspond to the rule being violated. Both parents should be on the same page and shouldn't give the impression that either parent is easily manipulated.
  1. Be consistent with rules and consequences. If the rule is broken, they must face the consequences. No excuses.
  1. Be open to discussion, but don't try to explain yourself.
  1. Be open and listen to them, as long as they don't yell or insult you. This does not mean that you should give in to their demands. Understand their feelings and sympathize, but make it clear that rules are rules.
  1. If you have a troubled teenager who constantly argues about the consequences of breaking the rules, you can make a house rules contract. Make them read, understand the implications, and sign. That way they won't be able to argue with you.

Your children may not understand the need for all these rules. They may even hate you for it. But you love them. Otherwise, you wouldn't have taken the trouble to make a list of house rules for your teens.

Among all the rules, consequences, disputes and disputes, do not forget to tell the child that you love him. Show by your behavior that you care about them. They may or may not understand it now, but one day they will definitely thank you for helping them make the right choice.

How do you maintain discipline in your home? Talk to us about it here.

Rules for a teenager - Psychologos

Teenagers are a difficult age, they object to the imposition of something from the outside and are ready to fight for their freedom. On the other hand, this is a time when parents are obliged to prepare them for adulthood, where responsibility and self-control are necessary.

Teach your teenager to be smart

Do you have a good family? Then your task is for your children to know very clearly that communication is categorically unacceptable, where is the plinth, below which you cannot fall in your family. Even when angry, you should never use foul language. When talking to your parents, you can’t show disrespect: sit pointedly lounging, not answering questions and showing that these questions bother you. Disagree - clearly and collectedly, with respect for parents, say what you agree with, what you don't - and what you propose. If there is a rule (we go to bed at 22.00), then it cannot be changed without the permission of the elders. "To inform" (that is, to put before the fact) is normal only in a force majeure situation and when it is impossible to discuss the urgent situation with the elders. If the elders were available, at least by phone, then making independent decisions in violation of agreements is a violation of family law. See →

Teaching life skills and manners

Adolescents can decide for themselves what they think is right to teach themselves for the life ahead, but the daily study of manners, manners and useful social skills should be. The methods School of good manners and the Educational table can help with this.

Responsibility for own goals

Adolescents are required to have their own goals and achieve them (move towards them) according to the plan. Goals and plans can be developed completely independently, they can (and in principle it is more reasonable) together with their parents. But if they accepted them, now this should not remain dreams and good intentions, now these are obligations (to themselves) that they are obliged to fulfill.

Like adults. And parents can and should ask them this: whether or not they fulfill their own (not imposed by someone else, but their own!) goals and obligations.

Discussion Paper

An excerpt from the article: "Here are the things my daughters Sophia and Louise were never allowed to do: go to sleepovers, make friends, participate in school plays, complain about not being allowed to participate in school plays, watching TV or playing computer games, choosing your own extracurricular activities, getting grades below "A", not being "student number 1" in any subject other than physical education and drama...", see →

Feedback on this from Sinton's Forum: I agree with this list one hundred percent: schoolchildren don't care to hang around at night, and early cupids, in general, are useless.


Learn more