Malignant narcissistic abuse
Malignant narcissist: Definition, signs, and more
Malignant narcissism is a personality type that causes extreme narcissism, aggression, and, sometimes, abuse of others.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) does not list malignant narcissism as a diagnosis.
Some people describe malignant narcissism as a form of psychopathy, which the DSM-5 also does not list. Psychopathy is an unofficial term for people with antisocial personality disorder.
As there is not a well-validated scale to measure malignant narcissism, its characteristics are not clearly defined. It may serve as a moral judgment rather than a diagnosis, especially in online abuse recovery and self-help spaces. Whether malignant narcissism is a real diagnosis remains controversial.
Keep reading to learn more about malignant narcissism, including the signs and traits and how to deal with someone who may present characteristics of this personality disorder.
The notion of malignant narcissism originates in the self-help and law enforcement communities, not in psychiatry. These communities have focused on malignant narcissism as a behavioral judgment and a specific form of abuse rather than a mental health diagnosis.
In the popular conception, malignant narcissism is a form of narcissistic personality disorder that is highly abusive. People with this personality supposedly get a sense of satisfaction from hurting others and may manipulate people or lie to gain money, acclaim, and other things they desire.
Campbell’s Psychiatric Dictionary suggests that malignant narcissism includes traits of narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder. Narcissistic personality disorder causes a person to seek constant acclaim and admiration, often by whatever means necessary. It also includes elements of antisocial personality disorder, which causes a person to engage in harmful, and sometimes criminal, behavior.
More recently, mental health professionals have attempted to determine whether malignant narcissism is a real diagnosis. A 2022 paper tried to develop a scoring inventory for malignant narcissism.
A 2019 paper emphasizes that malignant narcissism is a judgment based on beliefs about a person’s thoughts, rather than an actual diagnosis. This judgment relies heavily on legal and forensic frameworks rather than medical science.
Malignant narcissism includes characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. Those symptoms include:
- lack of empathy
- using relationships primarily as a tool for gaining self-esteem
- having little interest in others’ experiences, needs, or feelings
- attention-seeking behavior
- feelings of entitlement or being special
- believing themself to be superior to others
A person with malignant narcissism may harm others to gain attention, feed their sense of superiority, and get what they want.
For this reason, a person may also have traits of antisocial personality disorder. These include:
- disregard for or hostility toward the rights of others
- aggression and violence
- lack of remorse for harming others
- a tendency to lie
- breaking the law
- chronic irresponsibility
- impulsive or reckless behavior
A person with malignant narcissism may appear superficially charming. They may manipulate people to gain praise or lie about others to depict themself in a more flattering light.
People with a narcissistic personality crave attention and acclaim. They believe they are special and want others to believe this, too. They may seek the attention they want through positive strategies, such as getting a good job or being charming, or negative ones, such as lying to others or abusing loved ones.
The need for attention and love is also present for people with malignant narcissism. However, their strategies for getting this attention tend to be more aggressive, and they show less regard for the rights of others.
They may have antisocial personality traits that cause them to abuse others willingly, and sometimes happily, for their own pleasure and personal gain.
There is not a clear distinguishing line between narcissism and malignant narcissism. Instead, malignant narcissism is a judgment about how a person’s narcissism affects others.
Some self-help literature labels people with malignant narcissism as sociopaths or psychopaths, both of which are unofficial terms.
Although the idea of a person without a conscience, i.e., a sociopath or psychopath, is popular in television, movies, and some psychology media, the DSM-5 does not list either as a diagnosis. These labels judge a person’s moral character or conscience, neither of which science can objectively prove the existence of or judge.
The diagnosis most similar to psychopathy or sociopathy is antisocial personality disorder. This disorder causes a person to disrespect the rights of others, disregard people’s feelings and needs, and lack empathy.
Individuals with malignant narcissism share many traits in common with those with antisocial personality disorder, including a lack of regard for others’ well-being. The label also often comes with a desire for acclaim or special treatment. Some people with traits of malignant narcissism may achieve these goals by harming, lying to, or using others.
Popular depictions of psychopathy and sociopathy emphasize that these individuals will not respond to treatment. There are several treatment options for antisocial personality disorder, though treatment can be difficult, and people with antisocial personality disorder rarely seek it. These treatments may also help individuals with malignant narcissism.
Avoiding a person with malignant narcissism is a key self-protection strategy. No one can cure another person’s mental health disorder, and those with narcissistic traits who refuse treatment can cause significant harm.
However, sometimes, a person must interact with someone with malignant narcissism.
Some strategies that can help include:
- Documentation: People working, co-parenting, or sharing a legal relationship with someone with narcissism should communicate in writing when possible and document conversations to whatever extent is safely and legally possible. This prevents the person with narcissism from making false claims and escalating abuse by, for example, trying to seek custody of children.
- Gray rocking: Gray rocking means channeling a gray, boring rock — in other words, being as uninteresting as possible. Many people with narcissism want a reaction, even a negative one. When they do not get it, they may lose interest.
- Establishing boundaries: Individuals with narcissism may routinely violate boundaries, so it is important to establish internal guidelines. These might include deciding to leave the room if the person becomes abusive or spending only a limited time with them.
- Understanding narcissism: People with narcissism have a mental health problem.
Learning about and understanding how narcissism functions can help others learn how to deal with people with the traits of this disorder.
People who interact with those with narcissism may experience gaslighting, a form of abuse that can make a person feel as though their reality might not be real. They may also find that the person with narcissism attempts to turn others against them. It can be difficult to recover from these situations.
Some strategies for recovering include:
- Seeking legal help, where useful: People who have a boss or ex-spouse with narcissism may need legal help. They can work with a lawyer to identify their legal rights.
- Seeking mental health support: Following abuse, mental health support can help a person understand how a healthy relationship should look and help them regain their self-esteem.
- Finding peer support: Talking with others who have survived abuse can make a person feel less alone.
Some people may benefit from joining an online or in-person support group.
People experiencing domestic violence can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Malignant narcissism is not a medical diagnosis, and its status as a potential diagnosis remains controversial. However, this does not mean that it is not real.
Many harmful behaviors and traits are not technical diagnoses but can still affect the person who has them, as well as the people around them. The label of malignant narcissism simply provides additional information about a group of symptoms that some people notice in others.
It is important to consider that popular ideas about malignant narcissism may not be true. For instance, there is no science supporting the idea that people with these traits can never change. However, there is also no evidence that third parties can compel them to change.
A mental health professional may be able to help people with malignant narcissism who wish to recover.
They can usually also help victims of narcissistic abuse.
29 Signs of a Malignant Narcissist
Have you ever known a malignant narcissist?
You may not know the term, but if you’ve encountered one, you will never forget this toxic personality.
Like all personality disorders, narcissism lies on a spectrum with various degrees of intensity and dimensions.
While some narcissistic traits are commonly seen in adolescents, this doesn’t necessarily indicate that the individual will end up meeting the criteria for this disorder as an adult.
However, of those who do develop a narcissistic personality disorder, some lie on the far and most dangerous side of the spectrum which classifies them as “malignant narcissists.”
What’s in this post:
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What Is A Malignant Narcissist
Malignant narcissism is a mix of personality disorders that are diagnosable and can be co-occurring, resulting in an extreme form of narcissistic personality disorder.
The essential feature of narcissism is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (an extreme sense of superiority), a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
However, malignant narcissism includes a bit more than that. Psychologists believe that it is a syndrome characterized by the presence of the diagnostic characteristics of narcissism, as well as some traits of antisocial personality disorder, paranoid trends, and ego-syntonic aggression.
What is the difference between malignant narcissism and narcissism? The main difference between these two disorders is that malignant narcissism is not a diagnostic term.
These most severe cases of pathological narcissism are very difficult to treat. A person with malignant narcissism has the potential to ruin families, communities, and professional work environments and are extremely dangerous to have in your life.
If you cannot get away from a narcissist (because they are your spouse, boss, etc.
), then it is important to realize that attacking back will only feed their narcissism, which can put you in an even tougher situation.
How do you know if you have a malignant narcissist in your life?
Let’s review some clear traits of malignant narcissistic behavior.
While having one or two of these characteristics does not automatically categorize someone as being a part of this population, knowing the signs will help you understand the disorder.
1. A Sense of Entitlement
It is normal for everyone to feel a bit entitled during certain times in their lives, such as a birthday or a personal celebration of some sort, but a malignant narcissist feels this sense of entitlement every day.
A malignant narcissist has constant unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment. They also feel entitled enough that they believe other people should automatically comply with their expectations.
This means that while it may be your birthday, the malignant narcissist feels like they deserve a gift more than you do.
2. An Exaggerated Sense of Self-Importance
Having confidence is great, but narcissists display an immeasurable amount of confidence and expect to be recognized as being superior people, even if they lack the corresponding achievements.
A malignant narcissist will often exaggerate or lie about their past accomplishments and talents in order to gain a sense of recognition.
However, they lack the innate sense of right and wrong to ever come clean to the people they deceive.
3. Preoccupation with Fantasies of Power
Narcissists are constantly thinking about their power, success, brilliance, and beauty. This gives them a tendency to seek out leadership or high-profile positions or careers.
Related Post: How To Deal With A Narcissist: 5 Guaranteed Tactics
Because of their need to be the center of attention in a working group or social situation, when they are not in this position, they spend time fantasizing about it and planning ways that they can get there.
4. Grandiosity
A person who is grandiose believes that he or she is so unique that they can’t be understood by anyone who is not at their top-level status.
They have an unrealistic sense of superiority, believe they are better than everyone else and look upon other “inferior” people with contempt.
They adopt the stance that “I am everything and you are nothing, I have everything and you have nothing.”
They also believe they should only associate with high-status people or institutions. They only want to be associated with other people who are perceived as being successful, rich, and beautiful.
Finally, they help themselves to special privileges or resources that are not theirs because they believe they deserve them due to their superiority.
5. Paranoia
Paranoia can be described as feeling excessive suspicion without any justification.
People with paranoia may believe other people are plotting against them or over-analyze everything that other people say.
They are often quick to criticize others but certainly are not open to criticism themselves.
We all feel a bit of this at times, but someone who is truly paranoid actually loses touch with reality.
For example, let’s say you are walking through a crowded coffee shop and someone accidentally bumps into you.
You probably acknowledge the mistake with the other person and then move on. However, people suffering from paranoia may believe that this person was intentionally trying to cause them harm, perhaps steal their money, or was specifically targeting them for some reason.
Malignant narcissists are especially paranoid that other people may be trying to take their power away, hurt them, or take things away from them that they feel like they deserve.
6. Egocentricity
You can probably think of someone in your life who has an ego that is out of control.
This is the person who talks about themselves all the time, fishes for compliments, and pretty much acts like the world revolves around them.
However, it is easy to be egocentric without being a malignant narcissist. A person who is simply egocentric can still accept someone else’s point of view.
A malignant narcissist, on the other hand, can become enraged if someone doesn’t see things their way.
7. A Lack of Empathy
A malignant narcissist is completely unable to put his or herself in someone else’s shoes, which means they will never feel any remorse for their actions.
Malignant narcissists lack the ability to comprehend what other people may be feeling or to empathize with others. Further, malignant narcissists often believe that they have been the victims of the mistreatment.
Imagine confronting someone who has hurt you, and once the conversation is over, you’ve somehow accepted all of the blame for the other person’s actions.
This is an example of what it would be like to deal with a person who lacks empathy. They have absolutely no remorse or conscience.
8. Cruel and Sadistic
Malignant narcissists can be especially cruel to the point where they actually enjoy causing other people pain, either mentally or physically.
This sadistic quality of enjoying the suffering of others can come in two forms — vicarious sadists and everyday sadists.
A vicarious sadist is a bit more benign in the sense that they might enjoy killing an opponent in a video game, but they never actually participate in harming another person.
An everyday sadist, which describes a malignant narcissist, is willing to inflict harm upon or humiliate another person and enjoy the process.
9. Manipulation
While we all try to use a situation to our advantage at times, a true manipulative nature causes a person to do this all the time.
When you first meet someone who is manipulative, he or she may seem charismatic, genuine, and appreciative, but they often resort to gaslighting.
Manipulators take things that other people say or do and twist them so much that their victims often end up confused and questioning their own reality.
10. Projection
Projection is when someone transmits their actions onto someone else.
For example, let’s say someone stole something from a store and then turned to the person they were with and called them a thief. That is projection.
This leads narcissists to avoid recognizing their own shortcomings by attributing them to other people.
They may be aware that these shortcomings exist, but they would never admit them. They simply insist that everyone else is guilty of doing what they’re doing.
11. Requires Excessive Admiration
While it certainly doesn’t seem like it, malignant narcissists have extremely fragile self-esteem.
They require constant attention and admiration to alleviate their own concerns about how well they are doing or how loved they are.
Narcissists want to be welcomed with adoration and want others to feel indebted and awed because the malignant narcissist has gifted them with his or her presence.
12. Interpersonal Exploitation
Malignant narcissists expect to be given whatever they want, despite what the cost might be to other people.
For example, a boss who is a narcissist may overwork his or her employees without considering the negative impact that it might have on the employees’ lives or wellbeing.
Related: 8 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
They also typically only form relationships with people whom they presume can advance their motives in some way.
In this case, the narcissist will give the relationship only as much time or effort as is absolutely required to get what they want.
13. Overestimates Others’ Concern for Their Wellbeing
Malignant narcissists often assume that the people around them have an intense concern for his or her wellbeing.
Because of this, malignant narcissists tend to talk about their own problems or concerns in extensive detail, without stopping to recognize that other people have problems also.
However, if someone tries to talk to a malignant narcissist about their own problems, that person receives contempt and impatience from the narcissist.
14. Envious of Others
Malignant narcissists often resent other people’s successes or possessions because they feel more deserving of these things.
They may brutally belittle the contributions of others, especially when others are receiving acknowledgment for their achievements.
For example, if a co-worker receives an award for grossing the most yearly revenue for the company, a malignant narcissist might tell other people that the recipient of the award cheated in some way or the process was rigged.
He or she would be unwilling to accept their co-worker’s success and be happy for them.
15. They Easily Lash Out
Narcissists get very angry and are willing to humiliate others at the most minor offenses.
For example, if a malignant narcissist is telling an exaggerated story about an extreme adventure that they went on and someone questions the validity of the story, the narcissist would be prone to making a counterattack.
In this case, the narcissist might fight back by saying something like, “How would you know, it’s not like you have the money to take the kinds of trips that I take.
”
Because narcissists have a hyper-sensitive and fragile ego, they have to convince people that they are always right.
16. They See the World in Only Black and White
To a narcissist, you are either their friend or their enemy. Things are either good or bad. You are either right or wrong.
They live within the contours of extremism, while other people are able to appreciate the various shades of gray in the world.
This primitive way of thinking is one reason why narcissists cannot accept their own failures. Failure is impossible to confront because there is an extreme amount of energy placed on being right.
Black and white thinking is an unfortunate default method against the world’s complexities that most people grow out of as young children.
17. They Seek to Win at All Costs
The worst part of trying to win at all costs is that it usually involves cheating or hurting other people. However, this doesn’t bother malignant narcissists.
They have such a deep-seated need to be right and to be the best that their very survival depends on it.
They will not give up until they have torn other people down to make themselves feel (and appear to be) superior.
They will do whatever they have to do to prevent themselves from experiencing loss, failure, or inconvenience.
18. They Resist Treatment
Malignant narcissists scoff at the idea of going to therapy. They tend to be happy because they never face the negative consequences of their disorder — only their victims do.
Because people usually go to therapy due to experiencing discomfort, malignant narcissists wouldn’t feel the need to seek treatment.
If therapy does occur and a doctor suggests to a malignant narcissist that they might have this disorder, it would not be uncommon for the malignant narcissist to claim the doctor is crazy in some way.
19. Deceitfulness
Narcissists are often deceitful to get personal profit or pleasure, including power, money, and sex.
They regularly lie, malinger, con people, and are known to use aliases to get their needs met.
Additionally, many will become enraged if their lies are challenged by truth or facts.
20. They Seem Especially Charming at First
When you first meet a malignant narcissist, you may be amazed by their charm, charisma, and achievements. This is their way of trying to win you over.
Sometimes they offer gifts, charming words, admiration, or compliments that you truly want to believe.
It is understandable why someone would be attracted to such a person, but it can also be dangerous. If something looks too good to be true, it usually is.
21. They Are Shallow
Malignant narcissists are not emotionally regulated and have beliefs that go from one extreme to another.
Their decisions often hurt other people because they rank their relationships and the people they meet based on superficial standards.
They have an innate need to land on top, even if they are pretending to be altruistic or participating in an activity that is not all about them.
22. Dependant on Others’ Views of Them
Narcissists are completely dependant on the world’s views of them.
They need the world to constantly feed them the message that they are the best of the best and superior in some way.
Any negative opinion from others will cause a narcissist much pain.
Malignant narcissists don’t find value in acting according to social norms because they believe society is beneath them. They don’t see the point in trying to be tactful or avoid hurting people.
For example, a narcissist would reject the social norm of treating others as they would want to be treated.
They also don’t value integrity or honesty and are willing to steal. They certainly show bad behavior without being bothered by it.
Rejecting social norms does not mean conforming to everyone around you, but rather it is more about being defiant of the basic principles on which our society is based.
This also means that people with malignant narcissism are willing to do illegal things without having a second thought.
24. Not Introspective
Malignant narcissists are never introspective. It may seem counterintuitive to have endless self-absorbance and self-reporting without any introspection, but this is a very different thing.
Narcissists never look at themselves and wonder what they could have done wrong or differently.
They certainly spend a lot of time obsessing over themselves, but they don’t spend time considering how their words or actions impact other people.
25. Insecure Attachments
Malignant narcissists form insecure attachments with other people. This relationship style is one in which the bond is contaminated by fear.
Narcissists want to have followers, but because they have a deep-seated low self-esteem, they are paranoid that people will try to turn against them.
They love and need people to follow them so they can rise to power.
26. Tries to Elicit Empathy
While the malignant narcissist will not offer empathy, they try to get it from other people by talking about others who have hurt them with an aggressive edge of anger.
The narcissist may present themselves as a victim, while also being bold and charming, so people will want to support them.
Often, their attempts at gaining empathy are through lies or extreme exaggerations of the truth.
27. Willing to Hurt People
As previously mentioned, the malignant narcissist is very quick to hurt someone emotionally, but they are also willing to hurt people physically.
If something is standing in the way of what they want, they will not hesitate to use physical force to remove the barrier.
They are also willing to become violent during fights or disagreements with others in which their superiority is being questioned.
28. Inexplicable Hatred
Malignant narcissists hate without a reason.
This often causes people around them to internalize these feelings of hatred and blame themselves for the emotional abuse, which is particularly harmful to children of narcissists.
This negative self-assessment never seems to end as long as the malignant narcissist is around.
But there is no logical defense of their hatred, nor is it anyone else’s fault.
29. They Achieve Success in the Business World
Many malignant narcissists are able to work themselves up to the top and become CEOs or leaders in some way. This is often because they will stop at nothing to gain that power and control.
However, they will not be so successful in their personal lives.
Exhibiting these behaviors in a cutthroat business world may provide them with success, but these behaviors in a social world are not as effective.
It is easy to get wrapped into a malignant narcissist’s web at first, but often, after someone sees how toxic this person is, they no longer associate with them.
How to Deal With a Malignant Narcissist
Having a narcissist in your life creates a toxic relationship that is very difficult to cope with.
It is frustrating to interact with such an extreme narcissist — much more so than dealing with someone who has some narcissistic traits but isn’t completely lacking in self-awareness and the capacity for change.
When it comes to the more destructive, harmful variety, the slightest suggestion that something may be wrong with this person is perceived as so threatening that he or she will have a fierce urge to strike out.
The problem with dealing with narcissists successfully is that confrontation is rarely effective. They take criticism as a threat and fight back.
A better way to approach disagreements with a narcissist is to keep your frustrations to yourself.
The best way to keep this sense of superficial peace is to accommodate or pacify them until you can extricate yourself from the relationship.
Final Thoughts
With this comprehensive list of traits of malignant narcissism, one may assume it is always easy to spot someone with a narcissistic personality. But it is not always as simple as it seems.
If a malignant narcissist is an effective and believable storyteller, people around him or her who are well-meaning will unintentionally support his or her destructive tendencies and actions, reinforcing to the narcissist’s abhorrent behavior.
The best thing you can do for your own mental health and well-being is to get away from this destructive personality. Don’t waste your time trying to change or help a malignant narcissist because he or she will not change.
If you are in an intimate relationship and seeing any of these malignant narcissism symptoms, you may need the support and guidance of a trained therapist in order to safely leave the relationship.
in the hell of destructive relationships and unrealizable intimacy
The main signs of malignant narcissism:1. Self-submission and dependence
Example: they make you feel bad if you do not spend time with them.
What you may have heard: "It's good that you make time for yourself, but I would like you to think about how it negatively affects me when you are not around." nine0010
Their goal: is to make you feel guilty.
They seek to make you dependent on them.
Since they are sure that they are excellent personalities, they believe that you should not spend time outside of your relationship with them, instead you should completely focus on them. Malignant narcissists have no doubts that they are better than anyone else and it is almost impossible for them to accept when you try to have your own interests or relationships outside of your social circle with them. nine0010
If you leave them alone, they manipulate you with guilt and often insist that you spend more time together. However, these efforts are not always reciprocated: victims of the narcissist may notice that they stay at home alone much more often than their toxic partner.
This is because narcissists often see their partners as safe havens, a kind of psychic retreat; they are afraid that the partner will cease to serve their needs as soon as he finds an interesting hobby, new friends or a support group, begins to enjoy his own life and enjoy activities outside of the relationship with a malignant narcissist.
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2. Hidden insecurity
Example: underestimate or completely devalue the achievements and merits of a partner and other people.
What you might have heard: "What you've achieved with this project is pretty cool, but I don't think it's original."
Their goal: is to make you believe how smart and original they are.
They do their best to make you feel that they are the source of everything for you. They are competitive and always want to impress you, even if the situation has nothing to do with them. nine0010
Although most malignant narcissists strive to be leaders, they do not always achieve this goal. Those who do not find themselves in high positions often endure painful disagreements caused by how they see themselves without taking into account their own true skills in reality.
To make up for this, malignant narcissists will downplay or discount your progress and achievements.
Some may go even further, telling you that you could never have achieved your goals without their help. nine0010
These people constantly seek to destroy others and have no problem doing so.
3. Psychological bullying (bullying)
Example: criticism and depreciation of everything you do.
What you might have heard: "I'm just trying to make you better."
Their goal: to make you feel that you need their advice for every aspect of your life. Bullying is a malevolent pleasure for malignant narcissists because they truly believe that they are turning you into the best version of yourself. Such constant attempts to "improve" you and the criticism you face can be a clear sign that you are dealing with a malignant narcissist. nine0010
These people believe they set the standard for attractiveness, good behavior, and well-being, so they aggressively try to impose it on everyone else.
In a relationship with a narcissist, this often manifests itself in physical abuse, the imposition of their, most often absurd, arguments on you, as well as in derogatory criticism. At times you feel like you're walking on eggshells and hesitate to stand up for your own position because you're afraid they'll always find something to say about it. As a result, you try to remain calm, giving up your own desires, in order to maintain peace in the relationship. nine0008 You lose your sense of self and realize bitterly that you have nowhere and no one to share your feelings with.
Narcissistic abuse: 16 dangerous warning signs
Contrary to popular belief, narcissists don't really love themselves. In fact, all their actions are explained by the desire to hide a sense of shame. We can say that they are driven by shame.
They once created an idealized image of themselves that they expect others to admire. nine0004 But deep down, narcissists constantly feel this gap between the real "I" and the fictional image.
So every day they try to somehow fill this void. To fill this gap, narcissists resort to destructive defense mechanisms that hurt loved ones.
Many of their coping mechanisms are offensive to other people. This is where the specific term "narcissistic violence" comes from.
However, one must clearly distinguish between narcissists and people who are prone to insults. For example, individuals suffering from other mental illnesses (bipolar disorders, sociopathy, etc.), drug addicts can also abuse people, but they are not narcissists. nine0010
If you are a victim of bullying, there are three things you need to do:
1. Make sure the bullying is happening.
2. Create your own support system.
3. Learn to protect yourself.
What is narcissistic abuse?
Abuse can be emotional, mental, physical, financial, spiritual or sexual. Here are a few good examples that will help you understand this issue:
• Verbal abuse. nine0004 They include humiliation, accusation, shame, demand, order, threat, criticism, sarcasm, resistance, blocking.
Please note that many people periodically resort to such actions. However, with the narcissist, this practice is constant.
• Manipulation. The narcissist indirectly influences someone to achieve their goals. He acts like a wolf in sheep's clothing. At first, it seems to us that his words are harmless. But at the end of the conversation, humiliation and even hidden aggression and hostility are clearly felt. nine0010
• Emotional blackmail. It includes threat, anger, warning, intimidation or punishment. This is a form of manipulation that causes doubt in the victim. She feels fear, obligation and guilt. Her feelings seem to be in a fog, she cannot express them and interpret them correctly.
• Deliberate provocation. The narcissist intentionally behaves in such a way that the interlocutor turns out to be abnormal, and not himself. To do this, he resorts to many different tricks: for example, casually mentions being overweight, and then says that he was joking that the interlocutor reacts too violently to this news.
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• Competition. He always tries to hurt his opponent in order to force him to play a tacit game. For the sake of victory, the narcissist will do anything, even cheating.
• A game of contrast. He specifically compares a person with someone else, emphasizing the superiority of the latter.
• Sabotage. He interferes in your affairs and relationships in order to bring chaos and discord into them and get personal gain.
• Exploitation and objectification. nine0004 He uses other people to achieve his goals, while not taking into account other people's desires and feelings.
• False. He resorts to deceit to avoid punishment and responsibility for his own mistakes.
• Retention (concealment). He deliberately hides money from a loved one, manipulates sexual relationships, sets the tone for communication and plays on affection.
• Neglect.
Usually the narcissist neglects the needs of the child for whom he is responsible. nine0010
• Invasion of private property. He does not respect personal boundaries, takes your phone without asking, sits on your page on a social network, reads your mail. At the same time, he completely ignores requests for non-interference in personal life.
• Slander. He spreads gossip, tells false details about you to other people.
• Violence. It includes a variety of forms: from damage to your property, ending with a fight and emotional abuse. nine0010
• Financial claims. He controls your income, extorts money from you through manipulation, maybe even steals.
• Insulation. He forbids you to communicate with anyone other than himself, trying to maintain control and status of authority.
Narcissism manifests itself in different ways. It can range from ignoring your desires to violent aggression.
