Love at first sight for a man
Signs Of Love At First Sight
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To quote Leonardo DiCaprio, “Who doesn’t like the idea that you could see someone tomorrow and she could be the love of your life? It’s very romantic.” And to think of it, a lot of romantic movies and poetry are based on the concept of love at first sight. You may refuse to believe in it but you can’t completely discard the idea.
According to a study, it’s men who generally experience love at first sight. The study also found that women are more likely to say “I love you” first in a relationship. Perhaps, this can be attributed to the fact that attraction is one of the prime criteria for men to fall in love, and that’s why they seem to fall in love at first sight more often than women. So let’s shed our cynicism for once, and look at the love at first sight meaning and how it perpetuates, with an open mind.
You see so many men and women every day, and so many of them are charming and attractive. You might even feel infatuated with some. How is this infatuation different from romantic love at first sight? What are the signs of love at first sight? What does love at first sight feel like? Let’s answer all these and many other questions that this concept must raise in your mind so that you’re ready to embrace love at first sight should it ever happen to you.
Can You Really Fall In Love At First Sight?
Table of Contents
Ok, let’s address the most likely question swirling through your mind right now – does love at first sight happen in reality or just in movies like Titanic and with celebs like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle? The answer: Yes, it does! Love at first sight means you feel an instant, extreme, and ultimately long-lasting romantic attraction for a stranger when you spot or get introduced to them.
Agreed, it might be purely physical attraction, just an infatuation not love, and it may not even last that long but consider it the first step toward the process of falling and staying in love.
The question is: what fuels this crush at first sight, instant chemistry, desirability, or whatever you may choose to call it? And is it even real? To help you find the answers, let’s take a look at some theories that support the occurrence of love at first sight:
1. It’s all scientific
Truth be told, the phenomenon of love at first sight wasn’t just born out of a romantic poet or writer’s vivid imagination. There is actual science at work here. In a study titled Neuroimaging of Love: fMRI Meta‐Analysis Evidence toward New Perspectives in Sexual Medicine, neuroscientist Stephanie Cacioppo and her team of researchers figured that there are 12 areas of your brain that work together to release chemicals that can bring about that wonderful feeling of being in love.
2. Chemistry and more
Have you ever thought, how does love at first sight feel? The seemingly clichéd ‘butterflies in the stomach’ maxim is actually related to hormones that make you feel warm and fuzzy. The chemistry between two people is fueled by hormones like dopamine and serotonin as well as norepinephrine. Their functions? To make you feel giddy and energetic, almost like you are on drugs. And love is nothing less than a drug.
Related Reading: 8 People Define Unconditional Love In Beautiful Ways
3. The brain and heart dilemma
Interestingly, it’s not just the brain that tells you whether you feel attraction or not. The heart feels it too, so love at first sight happens through a great combination of two organs working in tandem. A study by Professor Stephanie Ortigue of Syracuse University, USA, found that, when some part of the brain is activated, there can be some stimulation in the heart as well. Perhaps that’s why your heart starts beating faster when you see your crush.
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4. The role of attractiveness
Wondering what makes a man fall in love at first sight or a woman develop a crush at first fight? Attractiveness. While pure physical attraction may not be the secret to finding your potential soulmate, it can at least get the ball rolling. Now society does say that what is beautiful lies on the inside. But we cannot know how a person is the first time we meet them. But, if they are beautiful to look at, the chances of you falling in love with a stranger, at first sight, increase greatly.
Now, the definition of attractive may vary from person to person, and perhaps it isn’t right to talk about looks in these politically correct times. But the fact is that attractive people do draw attention and there are higher chances of them falling for equally beautiful people. Now, this attraction might be based on looks or intellect or some other factor, but when you find another person who mirrors your desires, it’s easier to fall in love with them at first sight.
Related Reading: 21 Ways To Tell Someone You Love Them Without Saying It
5. Don’t believe in the science behind it all? Keep the faith
What makes a person fall in love at first sight may not just be limited to the science and your level of attractiveness. Heard that old saying, “Magic happens when you believe in it”? The same goes for love at first sight. If you are not convinced about the science behind it, perhaps it can help to have a little faith.
When the right person comes along, you will see the signs that you have chemistry. Perhaps, all those love at first sight songs you have heard while growing up, start playing in your head. Just believe it’s happening for a reason. Love at first sight does feel euphoric. It’s all about serendipity, a happy accident as they call it.
Science and love at first sight
A lot of us have read Mills and Boons and we know what happens there. Love at first sight is not really a far-fetched idea, it’s what a lot of us believe in, and a lot of us are open to.
If there is attraction and you are open to having a romantic relationship, that might just manifest itself as love at first sight. However, there is no way you can overlook the loopholes of this concept.
The worst-case scenario is that you fall in love at first sight and then find out the person you’ve fallen for is not who you thought them to be and you lose interest slowly. Maybe your likes and dislikes, your politics, and things you want from life are diametrically opposite. You may have jumped in hoping that incredible things will happen now that you have met your soulmate. In reality, they may not be on the same page as you when it comes to love and romance.
Despite so much contradiction, a poll by Elite Singles reveals that 61% of women and 72% of men believe in love at first sight. It could be difficult to explain love at first sight based on romantic assumptions and so we resort to science. Studies show that the experience of love at first sight for a man/woman is not marked by high passion, intimacy, or commitment.
Rather physical attraction is the major component influencing the phenomenon.
Another study analyzes the process of rapid evaluation of minimal information during a real-life speed dating event and it shows that two particular areas in the prefrontal cortex of our brain are responsible for the attraction between two people in such a setting. As these two areas get activated, we don’t make real-world romantic decisions solely based on desirability. Within a few seconds, they can accurately predict romantic desires guided by multiple distinct, rapid social evaluations, and physical and psychological judgments.
What Are The Signs For Love At First Sight?
For hopeless romantics, there is really no explanation for love at first sight except that they feel it. However, there are telltale signs of love at first sight that will explain if you have really experienced it when you met someone special. Most of these are physical signs but there are certain emotions at play here too.
So be mindful of both. You can actually end up showing love at first sight body language. So, what does love at first sight really feel like?
Your heart pounds, your breath hitches at the sight of them, and you cannot take your eyes off them no matter how much you try. But that is not all there is to it. To make sense of what you’re experiencing when you find yourself pulled toward a person you’ve just met, watch out for these signs it’s love at first sight.
1. The eyes start to act
There is a reason why it’s called love at first ‘sight’. You have to ‘see’ and, more importantly, like what you see. Say, you walk into a chic Soho bar and settle in with a drink only to spot the hottie at the other table. Almost involuntarily your gaze goes there, more than once. It just means that your eyes have made a connection. This can be one of the telltale signs of love at first sight from a man.
An inability to take your eyes off someone, no matter how hard you may try to act cool and unfazed, is one of the first signs of love at first sight.
So, even if you are afraid of getting caught by the person, the fear of potential embarrassment and awkwardness is still not enough to keep your eyes off them. After all, they say that the eyes can tell a thousand stories. And your eyes, at the moment of the fateful encounter, will be showing all the signs of love at first sight.
2. Your brain works with your eyes
Science says all it takes is 100 milliseconds to know if someone is a potential partner. So, one of the signs of love at first sight from a man/woman is when they stare intensely at you as if they can see into your very soul. When the eyes lock, you are subconsciously sizing up their possible trustworthiness, intellect, and depth to see if they match yours.
A reciprocal glance takes it to another level altogether. And bingo, suddenly you are hit with attraction at first sight and begin to hear all those love at first sight songs. In case you are wondering, “How does love at first sight feel?”, this is exactly how – the world becomes a merrier, sunnier place, and what you’re experiencing seems like a scene from the movies.
Related Reading: 12 Emojis Guys Send Their Girl When In Love
3. Your body language changes
The body language of love at first sight is interesting to note. No matter who the person is, you see him or her as a genuine being. This is also one of the first signs of love at first sight from a girl. Women are prone to being careful and keeping people at a distance. They typically don’t get comfortable around strangers.
So, if she seems relaxed around you – when her posture gets languid and she passionately engages in conversation with you – know that you may be seeing the first signs of love at first sight from a girl. Even if men may find themselves feeling unusually relaxed and at ease around a person they’re attracted to. There might even be a small involuntary sway of the body. And you may end up smiling a lot more during your conversations with Mr/Miss Potential.
4. You feel real and completely yourself
Often in social situations, etiquette and context may demand you behave a certain way that’s not your natural self.
Perhaps your jokes don’t land with your friends. But this person appears to just get your sense of humor, and the rest of you. Perhaps your style quotient isn’t appreciated by others. But he/she finds reasons to compliment you. Basically, you can be real with them. What does love at first sight feel like? It feels like you have just found your soulmate.
5. The sync happens smoothly
Opposites don’t really attract. Often we go for those with whom we share similarities, at least initially. The qualities that you really admire, or perhaps the ones that remind you of your parents, might be evident in this person. And this can really make love at first sight happen. Did you find yourself completing each other’s sentences? Did you laugh at the same sequence? Well, these are signs that the dopamine may be working overtime.
Is love at first sight mutual always, though? Maybe not. Sometimes you may fall in love at first sight with someone who barely knows you exist and has no idea about the raging attraction that you feel toward them.
If you are lucky, the signs of love at first sight will make both of your stomachs tingle at the same time and usher in a never-ending romantic fairytale.
Related Reading: 9 Things To Do To Make A Man Stay Madly In Love With You
6. Suddenly the world ceases to matter
The best way to test if you have fallen in love with someone you just met is to reflect on your interaction with him or her in a group setting. If you got introduced to the person, who may become the love of your life in the future, as part of a group, think about how you behaved.
Do you remember what he said more than what others did? Did you stop noticing your surroundings to focus only on her? Were you two stealing glances at each other? Did you secretly hope you’d get to know them better? Yes, yes, and yes? These are all sure-shot signs of love at first sight.
7. You are curious about them
If a person interests you, he or she will hold your attention for a long while.
This will naturally lead to curiosity. Often when you meet new people, you indulge in small talk where you ask perfunctory questions about their work, life, and interests. But this time it might be different. You may end up asking the right get-to-know-me questions to get to know the other person better. You’re genuinely curious about them and it reflects in the way you talk to them.
8. You start picturing a life with them
Hands down, this is one of the most promising signs it’s love at first sight. From the very first moment you lock eyes with them, your brain keeps telling you that this is the person you have been waiting for your whole life. You are destined to be together. And the panoramic mode turns on.
You start painting a picture-perfect life and draw imaginary scenarios – how he will propose or how she will look walking down the aisle in a gorgeous dress.
Oh my god! Does the daydreaming ever stop? You almost name your kids and imagine that idyllic house in the countryside where you will settle down…and the movie plays on.
9. You experience a sense of familiarity
What you experience is almost as strong as soulmate energy. It seems like you have known them for all eternity. You feel you can be your true self around them because there is a strange intimacy between you. The desire to walk up to them and start a conversation becomes hard to resist. And that’s another way to explain love at first sight.
10. Romantic songs and films appeal
They say those who believe in love at first sight usually love romcoms more than other genres. The reverse is true as well. Perhaps, you involuntarily find yourself seeking re-runs of Notting Hill or My Best Friend’s Wedding on Netflix. It’s because external stimuli like movies or songs or books may actually add to the feeling of attraction your system is already flooded with.
Related Reading: 36 Relationship Building Questions To Ask Your Partner
Why Love At First Sight Can be Dangerous
The signs are there, the reason is there but what about the flip side to this otherwise rose-tinted idea of love? While it would be cynical to assume that love at first sight can never happen, it is naïve to presume that it’d always lead to a romantic happily-ever-after. To take this experience with a grain of salt and protect yourself from the pain of heartbreak, it’s worth being mindful of a few less-than-ideal aspects of this phenomenon:
1. Reality can be different
It is essential to remember that just because the love chemicals were working at the same level for both of you doesn’t mean that it will last forever. So be realistic even as you enjoy the first flush of romance. Relationship equations change, so love at first sight may not turn into everlasting love. Even if you are seeing all the signs of love at first sight, you may find out that, once you get to know the person, you don’t actually get along as well as you thought you did.
2. It can be shallow
Attractiveness plays a huge role in love at first sight. But looks are superficial. A strong crush may prevent you from looking beyond the first signs of love. Eventually, there might be compatibility issues that run deeper than your feelings of love. When you have only seen a person from afar or met them casually, there is no way to know what they are like in real life. So, chances are that it is all built upon a shallow physical attraction.
Related Reading: How Long Does It Take To Fall Out Of Love?
3. You may alienate friends
The body language of love at first sight says it all. You may be constantly enveloped in thoughts of your crush. So much so that it may actually lead you to drift apart from your other friends. Intense attraction at first sight may sometimes drive you to make bad decisions. Given that friends tend to be protective, they may try to keep you from obsessing over this person.
This may lead to some friction between you and your friends since you could be left feeling that they just don’t get what you feel.
4. Logic might take a backseat
You might not heed the warning signals. Without elaborating, let’s just give one movie example – Double Jeopardy! Mad attraction or instant love doesn’t allow for logical thinking. Perhaps, that gorgeous man or stunning woman you felt was perfect may not turn out to be that great after all.
5. It might hurt more
If your experience turns into something beautiful, then it’s a great story. However, if you later realize you fell for the wrong person, the recovery from the heartbreak can be much tougher as you invest a lot more emotions here than you would in a well-thought-out, slow-paced relationship.
Key Pointers
- Love at first sight is a scientifically backed phenomenon that is mostly influenced by physical attraction
- Though it may seem like true love, the infatuation can fall apart when you get to know the real person
- Your body language changes around this person and you feel extremely comfortable in your own skin
- There is a strange familiarity as if you have met them somewhere before
- You become super curious to know about them and start picturing a life together
- The reality might hit hard if you later find out that they are not on the same page as you are
The dangers aside, everyone has fallen in love at first sight at least once in their life.
For some it may have happened in high school, for others, it may have happened at a work meeting, but on the relationship chart, this is a story that everyone must have and nurture. If nothing else, take it as the foundation stone of building something strong and meaningful. As Leonardo DiCaprio said, “Keep the faith”, and all will be good!
FAQs
1. Can you fall in love with someone you just met?
You can fall in love with someone you just met. Love at first sight means you feel an instant, extreme, and ultimately long-lasting romantic attraction for a stranger when you spot or get introduced to him or her.
2. Can you really fall in love at first sight?
In a study titled Neuroimaging of Love: fMRI Meta‐Analysis Evidence toward New Perspectives in Sexual Medicine, neuroscientist Stephanie Cacioppo and her team of researchers figured that there are 12 areas of your brain that work together to release chemicals that can bring about that wonderful feeling of being in love.
3. How do you know if it’s love or attraction?
Love at first sight might take off with an instant physical attraction and you start showing the signs of chemistry or the love at first sight body language. But when you get into a relationship and it translates into something long-term then it becomes love.
4. How do you know if you found your soulmate?
When you feel you are totally in sync and the world around you suddenly ceases to exist, you might have found your soulmate.
5. What are the odds of love at first sight?
Studies claim that the odds of falling in love at first sight are pretty high. For example, you meet a person at a random bar or even in your uni class, and bam! your heart starts beating like you just finished running a marathon. It is true that some of those feelings can be attributed to pure attraction to the physical attractiveness of the person.
But while that is enough for a crush, it can be called true love at first sight when it goes beyond pure physical attraction and instead starts making you feel like you may have just found your soulmate.
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Can You Fall in Love at First Sight?
You lock eyes with a stranger and feel “that thing.” Time slows down and the world seems to fall away — is it love at first sight? It’s real alright.
You’ve likely heard some version of a “love at first sight” story: two people meet, one likely a skeptic. Sparks fly and the pair realizes they’ve met “the one.” Then, as they say, the rest is history.
Love at first sight is a beautiful concept, etched into fairytales and echoed in popular movies, television shows, and celebrity interviews, like when Prince Harry met Megan Markle.
But is it real? Perhaps it’s a predestinated, spiritual connection with your soulmate. Yet there may be other explanations worth considering, too, before you dive right in.
Can you actually fall in love at first sight?
Many people say they’ve experienced love at first sight. So, for them, it is possible.
In fact, this is a popular concept.
Exact figures are scarce, as it can be difficult to measure how common love at first sight is. But one older Gallup poll suggests that 52% of people in the United States believe in love at first sight.
A 2017 survey of over 5,000 single adults found that four in 10 of them have had a love-at-first-sight experience, slightly more often men than women.
So, what is love at first sight? The sensation is commonly described as:
- a sense of “coming home”
- sharing an instant, soulful connection
- feeling like the only two people in the room
- unusual chemistry that you haven’t felt before
When you experience love at first sight, you may feel wildly sexually ignited and think “Wow, this is the one,” says Dr.
Brenda Wade, a psychologist in San Francisco.
Other common signs may include:
- anxiety sweats
- “butterflies” in your stomach
- euphoria or feeling under the influence (love drunk)
- inability to stop thinking about them
- looking for them, even when they’re not around
- magnetic attraction (emotional, physical, sexual)
Is it real love?
Love at first sight is actually attraction, not real love, says Wade. But, it can be a profound energetic hit that screams there’s something very special about this person, she adds.
Research supports this view. A 2017 study evaluated potential couples in three settings: online, in a lab, and at dating events. Experts found that love at first sight is not a distinct kind of love. In fact, it’s a predictable outcome based on physical attraction.
“True love takes time, awareness of who the person is, and who you are,” says Wade. “It’s like a garden.
You must water it, cultivate it, shine sun on it, and have patience so you can produce blossoms that will flower.”
Still, there are several reasons why those initial “fireworks’ may feel like the real thing. And nothing says love at first sight can’t actually develop into real love given the chance of acting upon it.
What’s behind love at first sight?
Honeymoon phaseIn the early days, it may seem like your partner can do no wrong.
“On the surface, they seem to have everything that you are looking for and you are swept up in the moment, unable to take your eyes off of them,” says Wade. “Everything about them seems perfect because you don’t know all about them yet.”
Experts call this the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship.
HormonesWhen two people fall in love, several changes take place in the body.
Physical touch and emotional bonding activate the limbic system, also known as the pleasure center, says Dr.
Lee Phillps, a psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist in Virginia and New York.
“Hormones such as oxytocin play a critical role in relationships. It is a neuropeptide hormone manufactured in the brain with a wide range of effects,” he says.
Research shows this feel-good neurochemical can:
- enhance bonding
- heighten a sense of safety
- improve your mood
- increase social connection
“This hormone plays a vital role in developing romantic bonds between partners because it is released during physical intimacy,” he adds.
Attachment styleIf your feelings or emotions were not nurtured by your caregivers, you may have felt abandoned, says Phillips.
“As an adult, you can develop an anxious attachment style where you will latch onto your partner, idealizing them, because you may have unmet needs from childhood,” he explains.
Getting really close really fast to someone else might not be love at first sight, but rather an anxious attachment.
Real love vs. idealized love
Real love has a healthy balance between emotional and sexual intimacy, says Phillips.
“Both partners try their best to respect each other’s boundaries, make time for each other, show appreciation, and make each other feel safe and validated. There is also encouragement to grow and celebrate success,” he says.
With idealized love, there is a lack of balance, as one partner sees the other as a perfect person who won’t hurt or disappoint them. “The truth of the matter is our partners hurt us and heal us. There will always be disappointments and relationships are not perfect,” he explains.
How to handle what you’re feeling
Falling in love at first sight can feel like a whirlwind, but there are ways you can cope.
Try to enjoy it, but stay grounded“Take a deep breath and enjoy the heady intoxication emotion, because it is a beautiful feeling — and you deserve to have that feeling,” says Wade.
At the same time, Wade suggests that you put your head to work and ask yourself:
- Is this true love?
- Are they really “the one”?
- How do we create a well-cultivated pathway to grow and solidify our love?
“Step back, take it slow, and begin the process of really showing your authentic self and getting to know who they are. Then see, over time, if it is a great match,” she adds.
Try to hold off on big decisionsYou may find it helpful to pace the early parts of the relationship.
Take some time to get to know each other before:
- moving in together
- meeting each other’s families
- merging each other’s social groups
- making a serious commitment, like marriage
It is important that we know ourselves first before we fall in love, says Phillips, and working with a therapist can help with this process.
“Many of us do not stop and ask what we think and feel,” he says.
“I recommend getting to know yourself first and determining your relationship goals.”
As a new couple, you may also find it helpful to go to therapy together.
“Sex and couples therapy is a great resource in creating a healthy balance in the relationship,” she says. “I always recommend a certified sex therapist because they can address both the emotional and physical intimacy.”
Let’s recap
Love at first sight can be a polarizing prospect. It refers to the feeling of falling in love instantly without officially knowing the other person.
Some surveys show that many believe it exists. Other research indicates that it comes down to physical attraction, hormones, the honeymoon phase, and attachment styles.
You may find it helpful to take it slow and work with a therapist for support. It can also be useful to learn more about healthy, secure attachments.
Phillips recommends a few popular titles:
- “Getting The Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix
- “Keeping The Love You Find” by Harville Hendrix
- “Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman and Nan Silver
- “Attached” by Amir Levine and Rachel S.
F. Heller
Love at first sight: myth or reality?
Finding love is not easy, but someone succeeds with frightening ease: they just go into a room, into a subway car or cafe and immediately meet a person with whom they will then spend a lockdown, holidays and the rest of their lives. “Love at first sight” sounds like something from a melodrama or a romantic comedy, but some people claim that this phenomenon has a place in real life. We figure out how love at first sight is possible at all - or is it just a fatal accident.
What does romantic love consist of?
is mutual trust and respect between partners
this sexual attraction
this is care from partners
and more
There is a long and thorny path from falling in love to mutual respect, care and acceptance. However, according to a 2017 study conducted in the United States, out of more than 5,500 respondents, 41% claimed to have experienced love at first sight.
Love or attraction
Scientists are skeptical about this phenomenon. However, they confirm that it really takes a few seconds for us to choose a person as a romantic partner. This almost impulsive decision largely depends on the external data of a potential partner and on the experience of previous relationships.
In the first seconds of the choice, our bounded rationality is triggered, which compares the appearance of a new acquaintance with the types we already know, determining whether we like him or not. Then the second round of the same bounded-rational dance begins: we ask questions, look at the manner of human behavior, and at this time in the back of our memory, where the experience of communication with previous partners and close people is stored, the system looks for matches and waves red and green flags .
In 2017, a group of researchers conducted an experiment to study love at first sight. They arranged meetings with potential romantic partners for about 400 men and women, and then asked the participants about the feelings they experienced during the meetings.
A small number of people did report falling in love at first sight, but these feelings did not include intense passion, intimacy, or commitment—all the classic signs of romantic love that psychologists look for according to the Sternberg Triangle.
The main factor predicting falling in love at first sight with a stranger? Physical attractiveness.
This suggests that the vast majority of people who claim to have fallen in love at first sight actually experience attraction at first sight, and these feelings are often confused.
According to Simone Humphrey, PhD, and Signe Simon, PhD, "These two senses activate similar neural pathways in the brain that are involved in self-image, goal-directed behavior, happiness, reward, and addiction." When studying the brain activity of people in love, it was indeed noted that the departments responsible for the reward and motivation system worked harder. But for couples who started dating only recently, the reward and motivation system worked especially actively.
Why can we feel love at first sight?
Much of the belief that a person's feeling is really love at first sight is based on stereotypes, cognitive distortions, and cultural attitudes that reduce a certain set of feelings to an image of love.
Among them, there are 4 most common reasons:
Physical attraction
According to the aforementioned 2017 study, people are more likely to fall in love at first sight with people they find physically attractive.
No difference between love and infatuation
This feature is noticeable in amorous natures. For them, infatuation includes a strong sense of attachment to someone who doesn't know them well. At the same time, a person can completely ignore the real feelings and behavior of a potential partner, looking at him through rose-colored glasses.
Openness to love
According to family psychologist Racine R. Henry, people who are looking for love are more likely to have a strong initial feeling.
“The most important thing is the desire for love,” she explains. “Openness to love and the desire to enter into a love relationship creates space for love at first sight.”
The halo effect
It is possible that some happy couples retroactively embellish the story of their meeting by romanticizing it. And some people can involuntarily tweak their own memories because they don’t remember the moment when they felt completely sure that they had experienced true love. In this case, it is much easier and more romantic to say that it was love at first sight.
However, this does not negate the fact that falling in love or infatuation at first sight can develop into a strong and healthy relationship. In a sense, every relationship we have begins with one look and a word.
How not to lose your head?
The brain in love is a rather dangerous thing, and in order not to drown in a fountain of happiness hormones after meeting a potential partner, it is important to remain prudent.
Appreciate your feelings
Being in love is wonderful, and you should not deny yourself the pleasure of this state. But if a partner does not reciprocate your feelings, you should be careful and not sacrifice yourself and your joys, "deserving" his / her interest.
Be careful
If you believe that marriages are made in heaven, then remember that this happens often in high clouds and poor visibility. It may turn out that the partner that you liked and gave you the opportunity to experience the feeling of falling in love will not show his best side - you should not idealize a person and again sacrifice yourself in the hope of correcting something simply because "fate brought you together."
Set boundaries and take your time
Remember that the person you meet is first and foremost a new acquaintance. And even if you already feel this mind-blowing love, be prepared for the fact that you will have a period of grinding to each other. Do not forcefully force someone else's personal boundaries or abandon your own.
Aleksandra Ivanitskaya
Tags
#psychology
#erudition
Is there love at first sight February 12, 2022
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Scientists have recently found out that the representatives of the stronger sex are more prone to love at first sight.
True, many experts do not believe in its existence at all. In their opinion, a bright feeling from the first minutes of acquaintance can cover only in romantic melodramas. So is it really love at first sight?
Waiting for a miracle
The essence of the study was that men and women had to choose from the images of the one they liked best. First, they were shown a blurry photo, and then a clearer one. As a result, men were more likely to give preference at first glance at the photo. Women, on the contrary, only after they were shown the second picture.
Based on this, the scientists concluded that men are more superficial when they first meet, which means that they fall in love at first sight much more often than women.
“That's because love and sex are usually connected with us. If I like a girl, I want to have sex with her. That's it, consider yourself in love, ”says one of the members of the forum.
Apparently, many women are aware of what is usually behind the ardent male love.
That is why they treat love at first sight with more distrust than the stronger sex: “At first sight, there can only be attraction, and love is built over time on trust and respect.” "Love at first sight - yes, love - no!". “At first sight, the maximum is love or passion,” the ladies are sure.
Men, on the other hand, as it turns out, are more often ready to believe that they are able to evoke a deep feeling already on the first date.
And some of them are generally sure that this is the only way true love should be.
“True love is always at first sight. In such cases, all questions simply disappear, you do not need to explain something to her and vice versa, since both of you already see it in each other's eyes. Everything else, imho, is called “building relationships,” one of the bloggers is sure.
Although even among the stronger sex there are those who are distrustful of feelings at first sight.
“I believe that only a windy person or with a childish character can fall in love, as well as a person who does not know what true love is,” one of the Internet users is sure.
Most people agree that only schoolchildren are capable of falling in love with a person they know nothing about, but not adults.
And, oddly enough, the younger audience is most distrustful of this kind of love - up to 25 years old. Older people (after 45) believe in love at first sight much more willingly. Many refer to personal experience when a sudden passion lasted for whole years: “This feeling has been going on for 38 years. Fabulous!"
There are many such stories on the Internet.
“My husband and I fell in love with each other at first sight, in the first two minutes of our acquaintance… Quite recently everything became a little bit calmer, after 4 years of frantic feelings!” - writes ShadowAbove the Moon.
Exchange of feelings
Experts are sure that only falling in love usually occurs at first sight.
To begin with, being in love is a bit selfish in itself. The lover is more fixated on his own feelings and experiences towards the object of his passion.
Besides, although it is a beautiful feeling, it is still a superficial feeling.
- Falling in love gives you the feeling that you have a lot in common. This is what many explain the attraction that has arisen, - explains psychologist Dmitry Oreshin. - Although in fact, most often behind this attraction is an elementary sexual attraction.
It is not for nothing that some experts call love at first sight a “pheromone hit”. As you know, pheromones are chemicals produced by the body and affect the sexual attractiveness of a person.
But satisfying the sexual need in this particular person is not difficult. And if this happens quickly enough, then there is no basis for communication, no sympathy arises. And as a result, after the satisfaction of sexual curiosity, falling in love ends.
My friend fell in love with a guy she met in a cafe. On the third day, she was ready to lead him to present to her parents: “I don’t need anyone else anyway.” But a month later, they and their beloved quarreled almost to the point of fights.
And in the end, they parted ways, maintaining a strong aversion to each other.
Some get sober after going to the registry office together.
Take, for example, the penultimate high-profile marriage of TV presenter Dmitry Dibrov. Immediately after the wedding, he trumpeted in all his interviews that he fell in love with his young wife at first sight. “It was love at first sight. As soon as I saw Sasha, I immediately understood: this is SHE, the one that I have been waiting for all my life. However, 9 months after the hasty wedding, the realization came that in fact the newlyweds are completely different people. No less hasty divorce was not long in coming.
Vlad Galkin also possessed an unprecedented amorousness at first sight, who called the girls to marry, barely having time to get to know them. As a result, two failed marriages, one faster than the other.
Some psychologists are inclined to believe that infantile people, who are not used to either evaluating the results of their actions or taking responsibility for them, usually gravitate towards such behavior.
For the rest of your life
Although, of course, this does not mean at all that the ability to fall in love on the first date speaks of a person's frivolity. There are indeed many examples when falling in love at first sight has grown into something more serious.
For example, Oleg Gazmanov, talking about his relationship with his current wife, recalled that he fell in love with her as soon as he saw her. “It was love at first sight, and a look ... from the back, as if some kind of sixth sense worked for me,” he recalled. Long years of relationship gave lovers the opportunity to test their feelings with time, jealousy and even routine. But now the famous singer has every right to say that love at first sight lasts his whole life.
As soon as he saw him, he fell in love with his future wife and the famous actor Pyotr Krasilov. However, from the moment of this falling in love to the beginning of a fully serious relationship, about a year and a half passed.
Konstantin Khabensky fell in love with his future wife after the first meeting in a cafe. And the way he later courageously fought for the life of his Nastya, who died of cancer, years later, is the best proof that love at first sight can be for life.
For falling in love to grow into a serious feeling, it is necessary that people have a need, firstly, to learn as much as possible about each other, and secondly, so that this knowledge does not extinguish the fire of nascent feelings.
It's no secret that lovers do not realize that their chosen one may have flaws. In psychology, there is such a thing as "tunnel thinking": when a person does not notice anything that does not fall into the ray of his feelings, but sees only what he wants to see. So, when falling in love, tunnel thinking is aimed at the idealized features of the beloved.
But rose-colored glasses fall off sooner or later. And here it is already important how ready you are to accept your chosen one as he is - with all the advantages and disadvantages.
