Life less serious
9 Ways to Stop Taking Life Too Seriously I Psych Central
Working hard to meet life and career goals often require a serious focus. But it’s important to take time to laugh along the way.
Do you often feel consumed by your daily tasks and responsibilities? Does the heavy weight of it all make it difficult to let go and enjoy what you’re doing or who you’re with?
When we become focused on doing, we can sometimes lose sight of being.
When you take life too seriously, you can develop an unclear view of what’s worth your time and energy. You might find that you spend less time laughing and more time being busy.
When you get caught up in the seriousness of it all, you can miss out on the joyful and happy aspects of life.
If you find it difficult to find moments of joy or think of yourself as too serious, consider trying these strategies.
Focus on the good
Yes, your flight was delayed, and you may be late for that meeting, but perhaps you spent more time with your family because of it.
“Focusing on the unexpected benefits rather than the outcome can make a big difference,” Bernstein says.
Ask yourself: “Will this matter 5 years from now?”
While life does have serious moments, there’s a lot we can let go of and accept for what it is.
“Remembering the idea that if something won’t matter 5 years from now, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it can be a helpful approach,” Bernstein explains.
Recognize and appreciate joyful moments
Think about the times when things didn’t turn out the way you planned but you adapted.
“Feel proud of yourself for figuring it out — those are the moments that make life more enjoyable,” Bernstein says. “Moments when you were surprised, didn’t give up, and then figured it out. You may have even come out with a good story along the way — that’s the beauty of life.”
Remember that you’re not alone
Keep in mind that no one else has life figured out any better than you.
“You weren’t given an instruction manual, and you can only do the best you can with the information you had at the time,” Bernstein says.
“So, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a work in progress.”
Identify your negative thinking patterns
Remember that thoughts aren’t facts.
“Identify and challenge your negative rumination cycles that are on repeat,” Wolkin says. “What are you preoccupied with and what cognitive distortions might be getting in the way of thinking more accurately?”
Don’t engage in comparison
Comparison can lead to feelings of unworthiness.
“Comparing ourselves to others steals any semblance of joy, as we start to live life as if it’s a race and become too serious about acquiring things and people that don’t actually accentuate our life,” Wolkin says.
Create a toolbox of coping skills for times that feel stressful
While stress is inevitable, it’s how you respond to it that matters.
“When we’re stressed, we tend to take life too seriously,” Wolkin explains.
“If we’re chronically stressed, we’re at risk for mental health challenges, high blood pressure, and so on.
Try taking a nature walk, engage in a mindfulness practice, or start journaling.”
Ditch the perfectionistic thinking
Setbacks will happen, but trying to be perfect can make the setbacks seem more overwhelming.
“Embracing your perfectly imperfect human self can help release a lot of pressure to live up to unreachable expectations,” Wolkin explains. “It’s OK to make mistakes, and making them doesn’t mean you’re not enough.”
Consciously create opportunities to laugh
Find the humor in day-to-day life.
“Instead of news shows, watch comedies or funny videos, or hang out with funny people,” Wolkin says.
American writer and philosopher Elbert Hubbard once said, “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.”
What did he mean? Many of us agonize over the smallest decisions. We spend hours ruminating over an email we sent or a comment we made.
Hubbard reminded us above that time is a precious gift that you can’t get back. So, try not to waste even a moment of it.
We all face the demands of our busy lives. Our daily schedules are overrun with meetings, deadlines, and family responsibilities. On top of that, we try to squeeze in running errands, cooking dinner (or, calling in for delivery), and a quick workout.
Seems like there’s not enough time in the day to “stop and smell the roses.” We’re often so busy being busy that it’s hard to find a moment to laugh or enjoy the moment.
With all you have to do each day, you may wonder, “what is there to laugh about?”
But laughter has numerous health benefits — from reducing stress to boosting your spirit and improving how you relate and connect to others.
When you take life too seriously, you may:
- constantly worry about the small things
- not joke around with friends, family, or co-workers
- rarely have time to unwind
- be more strict with others and yourself
- avoid activities out of your comfort zone
- constantly explain yourself
- feel like you’re competing with others at work or at home
If these behaviors become extreme or begin interfering with your daily life, consider speaking with a healthcare or mental health professional.
They can offer guidance on the next steps.
Taking life too seriously can have negative impacts on your well-being.
You may lose sight of what’s really important
Prioritize what truly matters.
“If we take life too seriously, we lose sight of what actually needs our serious attention,” says Jennifer R. Wolkin, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist based in New York City. “How can we parse out what is serious if we think it all is!”
It can be counterproductive
Letting the worry and stress take over is a waste of time.
“Taking life too seriously usually leads to more worrying, and worrying isn’t productive,” Wolkin says. “Constant rumination on our regrets of the past or what we’re trying to control in the future only leads to suffering.”
You can miss out on all the positives that life has to offer
This comes back to the power of gratitude and choosing to focus on the positive, not the negative.
“When we take life too seriously, we lose out on the opportunity to experience a gamut of emotional experiences, including joy,” Wolkin says.
“If we’re constantly immersed in taking life too seriously, we don’t make space to stay awake to the beauty of life that’s right in front of us.”
It can damage your relationships
If you always take things seriously, you may not be enjoyable to be around.
“When we take life too seriously, we might have trouble connecting with people,” Wolkin explains. “People who take life too seriously sometimes come off as unfriendly or unapproachable.”
It’s a waste of mental energy
To put it simply, you’re missing out! You can choose to see your experiences through a more positive lens.
“Taking life too seriously takes a lot of mental bandwidth that can be used to engage in more meaningful experiences in life, including time with family and friends,” Wolkin says.
You’ll feel more joyful
Are you consumed by your job and daily responsibilities? Do you feel like you’re a victim of your circumstances?
“If we shift from believing that life happens to us and start to see it as happening for us, our lives can begin to feel more joyful and less burdensome,” Natalie Bernstein, a psychologist and therapeutic life coach in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, explains.
“Once you move away from thinking your purpose is your job or viewing life as a series of set stages you have to accomplish, you can start to see life in a new light.”
This may require becoming more present and reframing your perspective.
Life isn’t a problem to be solved. The beauty lies in the unpredictability and waking up each morning with an open heart and open mind to all the day has to offer.
Try starting each day with gratitude. Focusing on what you’re grateful for can take you out of a serious mindset.
Also, choose to be present. This is a good way to experience happiness and fulfillment.
9 Ways to Stop Taking Life Too Seriously I Psych Central
Working hard to meet life and career goals often require a serious focus. But it’s important to take time to laugh along the way.
Do you often feel consumed by your daily tasks and responsibilities? Does the heavy weight of it all make it difficult to let go and enjoy what you’re doing or who you’re with?
When we become focused on doing, we can sometimes lose sight of being.
When you take life too seriously, you can develop an unclear view of what’s worth your time and energy. You might find that you spend less time laughing and more time being busy.
When you get caught up in the seriousness of it all, you can miss out on the joyful and happy aspects of life.
If you find it difficult to find moments of joy or think of yourself as too serious, consider trying these strategies.
Focus on the good
Yes, your flight was delayed, and you may be late for that meeting, but perhaps you spent more time with your family because of it.
“Focusing on the unexpected benefits rather than the outcome can make a big difference,” Bernstein says.
Ask yourself: “Will this matter 5 years from now?”
While life does have serious moments, there’s a lot we can let go of and accept for what it is.
“Remembering the idea that if something won’t matter 5 years from now, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it can be a helpful approach,” Bernstein explains.
Recognize and appreciate joyful moments
Think about the times when things didn’t turn out the way you planned but you adapted.
“Feel proud of yourself for figuring it out — those are the moments that make life more enjoyable,” Bernstein says. “Moments when you were surprised, didn’t give up, and then figured it out. You may have even come out with a good story along the way — that’s the beauty of life.”
Remember that you’re not alone
Keep in mind that no one else has life figured out any better than you.
“You weren’t given an instruction manual, and you can only do the best you can with the information you had at the time,” Bernstein says. “So, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a work in progress.”
Identify your negative thinking patterns
Remember that thoughts aren’t facts.
“Identify and challenge your negative rumination cycles that are on repeat,” Wolkin says. “What are you preoccupied with and what cognitive distortions might be getting in the way of thinking more accurately?”
Don’t engage in comparison
Comparison can lead to feelings of unworthiness.
“Comparing ourselves to others steals any semblance of joy, as we start to live life as if it’s a race and become too serious about acquiring things and people that don’t actually accentuate our life,” Wolkin says.
Create a toolbox of coping skills for times that feel stressful
While stress is inevitable, it’s how you respond to it that matters.
“When we’re stressed, we tend to take life too seriously,” Wolkin explains.
“If we’re chronically stressed, we’re at risk for mental health challenges, high blood pressure, and so on. Try taking a nature walk, engage in a mindfulness practice, or start journaling.”
Ditch the perfectionistic thinking
Setbacks will happen, but trying to be perfect can make the setbacks seem more overwhelming.
“Embracing your perfectly imperfect human self can help release a lot of pressure to live up to unreachable expectations,” Wolkin explains. “It’s OK to make mistakes, and making them doesn’t mean you’re not enough.
”
Consciously create opportunities to laugh
Find the humor in day-to-day life.
“Instead of news shows, watch comedies or funny videos, or hang out with funny people,” Wolkin says.
American writer and philosopher Elbert Hubbard once said, “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.”
What did he mean? Many of us agonize over the smallest decisions. We spend hours ruminating over an email we sent or a comment we made.
Hubbard reminded us above that time is a precious gift that you can’t get back. So, try not to waste even a moment of it.
We all face the demands of our busy lives. Our daily schedules are overrun with meetings, deadlines, and family responsibilities. On top of that, we try to squeeze in running errands, cooking dinner (or, calling in for delivery), and a quick workout.
Seems like there’s not enough time in the day to “stop and smell the roses.” We’re often so busy being busy that it’s hard to find a moment to laugh or enjoy the moment.
With all you have to do each day, you may wonder, “what is there to laugh about?”
But laughter has numerous health benefits — from reducing stress to boosting your spirit and improving how you relate and connect to others.
When you take life too seriously, you may:
- constantly worry about the small things
- not joke around with friends, family, or co-workers
- rarely have time to unwind
- be more strict with others and yourself
- avoid activities out of your comfort zone
- constantly explain yourself
- feel like you’re competing with others at work or at home
If these behaviors become extreme or begin interfering with your daily life, consider speaking with a healthcare or mental health professional. They can offer guidance on the next steps.
Taking life too seriously can have negative impacts on your well-being.
You may lose sight of what’s really important
Prioritize what truly matters.
“If we take life too seriously, we lose sight of what actually needs our serious attention,” says Jennifer R.
Wolkin, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist based in New York City. “How can we parse out what is serious if we think it all is!”
It can be counterproductive
Letting the worry and stress take over is a waste of time.
“Taking life too seriously usually leads to more worrying, and worrying isn’t productive,” Wolkin says. “Constant rumination on our regrets of the past or what we’re trying to control in the future only leads to suffering.”
You can miss out on all the positives that life has to offer
This comes back to the power of gratitude and choosing to focus on the positive, not the negative.
“When we take life too seriously, we lose out on the opportunity to experience a gamut of emotional experiences, including joy,” Wolkin says.
“If we’re constantly immersed in taking life too seriously, we don’t make space to stay awake to the beauty of life that’s right in front of us.”
It can damage your relationships
If you always take things seriously, you may not be enjoyable to be around.
“When we take life too seriously, we might have trouble connecting with people,” Wolkin explains. “People who take life too seriously sometimes come off as unfriendly or unapproachable.”
It’s a waste of mental energy
To put it simply, you’re missing out! You can choose to see your experiences through a more positive lens.
“Taking life too seriously takes a lot of mental bandwidth that can be used to engage in more meaningful experiences in life, including time with family and friends,” Wolkin says.
You’ll feel more joyful
Are you consumed by your job and daily responsibilities? Do you feel like you’re a victim of your circumstances?
“If we shift from believing that life happens to us and start to see it as happening for us, our lives can begin to feel more joyful and less burdensome,” Natalie Bernstein, a psychologist and therapeutic life coach in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, explains.
“Once you move away from thinking your purpose is your job or viewing life as a series of set stages you have to accomplish, you can start to see life in a new light.
”
This may require becoming more present and reframing your perspective.
Life isn’t a problem to be solved. The beauty lies in the unpredictability and waking up each morning with an open heart and open mind to all the day has to offer.
Try starting each day with gratitude. Focusing on what you’re grateful for can take you out of a serious mindset.
Also, choose to be present. This is a good way to experience happiness and fulfillment.
Why don't you even like a prestigious job with a good salary?
According to a survey conducted by the hh.ru Research Service among 7865 applicants, 28% of respondents do not like the activity they are engaged in. 39% percent often have thoughts: "How tired I am (a)" , "How tired I am of all this" . And 56% of respondents would like to change the scope of . This is an average figure, and in some professional areas the proportion of those who want to change their field is much higher. For example, among administrative staff, sales specialists and top-level managers, there are 72%, 65% and 64% of such people, respectively.
The reasons for dissatisfaction with work, of course, are different. Someone does not see salary and career prospects in their field, and someone suffers "only" from the fact that they do not get satisfaction from work and its results (39% of respondents) and from the lack of interesting tasks (27% of respondents). From the outside, it may even seem like a whim. But for those who have such a problem, this does not make it any easier.
Why has the topic of changing professions become so popular these days? Some 50 years ago and even less, there was no question of enjoying work. There is work - and that's enough. And now we want something more, we are even dissatisfied with working with a high salary and a prestigious position, in a stable well-known company and an excellent team. True, those to whom such work seems like the ultimate dream still look at those who want to give up all this for reasons of “boring” and “I don’t see the point in working” as a whim and a whim.
However, the problem exists.
What is the reason? This question is of interest to psychologists, economists, and modern philosophers.
More recently, money was considered the only motivation for work. But in the 20th century, researchers of motivation to work began to note non-economic factors of motivation and divide motives into internal and external . Simply put, it's not just about money. And the further, the more important are non-monetary motives.
This is due to the fact that the level and lifestyle of people over the past 100 years has changed a lot. It is no longer necessary to survive, like people of past eras, basic material needs are more or less satisfied. And as soon as this happens, higher-order needs come to the fore (remember Maslow's famous pyramid).
This is manifested in the desire not just to earn money, but to do something that causes universal approval, recognition, admiration. Or satisfy your own research interest.
So there is a desire to bring obvious benefits - to engage in socially approved activities (for example, charity, pedagogy). Or go into creativity - bring beauty to people, do something that causes admiration (design, architecture, painting, music, and so on). Or immerse yourself in a field that you are simply interested in, for example, art history, scientific research, producing creative projects.
On the other hand, the work of representatives of office professions is becoming more and more abstract. Therefore, people sometimes lose a sense of the value of their work , it begins to seem meaningless to themselves or others. This may be related to the desire to do manual labor so that there is a specific tangible result. For example, a securities specialist can leave a successful career in a bank to become a carpenter and make furniture with his own hands, a PR manager can go to confectioners, an accountant can become a hair stylist.
This is what Matthew Crawford, an American writer and Ph.
D. , who once left a university job to open a motorcycle repair shop, had to say about it:
The desire to radically change one's profession may be the result of burnout or a psychological midlife crisis. The causes of burnout are usually associated with overtime and stress.
And you can read about the desire to change profession in connection with the psychological crisis in our interview with a psychologist. A crisis always strikes at the weakest point. If the weak point is professional self-realization, then you will want to start everything from scratch in the profession, catch up on something that seems lost, something to prove to yourself and others.
Whatever your motives, there are different options for how to proceed. In each case, it's up to you to decide. But it’s always better not to cut off the shoulder, but to act in a balanced way: if you now have an objectively good job, you have something to lose.
You put an end to your previous career, say goodbye to a boring profession and literally start everything from scratch in a new field.
Pros.
The opportunity to start a new life, plunge headlong into a new profession, environment and acquaintances, completely disconnect from what you are disappointed in or tired of, is always like a breath of fresh air.
The first steps in a new profession usually cause excitement and a surge of enthusiasm. Because everything is new, and everything new seems interesting.
There are examples of successful transitions, and some people generally tend to change professions several times in their lives, as soon as they lose interest in the previous one.
Cons.
You are giving up the benefits that you deserved by previous achievements - a good salary, status and stability.
There are no guarantees that in a new profession you will achieve the same level of earnings and status (position level, weight, recognition in the professional community). Or it can take quite a long time.
It is possible that in terms of earnings, the level that you had in your previous profession is unattainable in principle in your new profession. Are you ready to lower your standard of living for the sake of your favorite profession?
At the initial stages, along with the pleasure of a new profession, you may have to experience psychological discomfort.
Because you are starting your journey in an unfamiliar field, where no one knows you yet, and your previous achievements do not matter. You are again in the role of a beginner. But it is one thing to start such a path at 20 years old, and quite another thing at 30-40 years old, when you are already used to a certain status.
There is a possibility of disappointment in a new field. It seems attractive from the outside, but when you find yourself inside, it turns out that it has its own routine and its own shortcomings. It remains to be seen whether you want to put up with them.
Tips.
Try to act carefully and as carefully as possible. If it boils so much that you want to break forever with your former profession and not even think about it, it would be good to figure out the reasons first - otherwise the same reasons may soon catch up with you in your new profession.
To move into a new sphere from scratch, it is better to first create a financial cushion and prepare loved ones for the changes.
The path to new success can be long and difficult.
It's great if you have an idea of what you want to do next. It often happens that an acute desire to say goodbye to the former profession has already matured, and there is no clarity with the choice of a new business. Stepping into nowhere is not the best idea. It is worth passing at least a serious detailed career guidance test or consulting with career consultants. By the way, it happens that for the pleasure of work it is enough to reconsider the type of career or business role, while remaining in the same profession.
But if you decide to move, don't be afraid of failure. If it doesn't work out, if you don't like it - you can always go back to where you are a recognized pro. This is not a shame: you just explored a new area and at the same time gained new experience.
You already know what you would like to do, what attracts you. Try this business first as a hobby, without parting with your usual profession.
Pros.
You do not refuse stability and a good salary, status, but at the same time you try something interesting for you.
If you like the job, then the hobby can gradually develop into a profession - so that you enter it not quite as a beginner and even with a set of necessary contacts. It's much easier than starting from scratch.
In any case, a new hobby will allow you to switch and can give you energy to survive the burnout and frustration of your usual job.
Cons.
Not suitable for all activities. For example, it is still possible to conduct amateur lectures on the history of art in some local cultural center, but to engage in psychological counseling without being a professional psychologist, or to conduct classes with children without being a teacher, is unlikely.
Tips.
Start learning, attend thematic events, find groups on this topic in social networks and join them, subscribe to the stars of the professional community.
You will find a circle of acquaintances in a new professional environment and will be able to find out from those who already work there what are the disadvantages and prospects. This will allow you to make an informed decision whether you should transfer this business to the format of a profession or it is better to leave it in hobby mode.
You are doing a new favorite thing professionally in parallel with your usual main job: for example, in the evenings, on weekends, or you agree on a shortened work week for this at your main job.
Usually the second profession gradually "grows" out of a hobby. And an invitation to the first job in a new specialty also often comes from hobby friends - we wrote about such stories. But you can try to start a parallel profession from scratch - for example, go to school and immediately look for a job.
Pros.
You combine business with pleasure: a bored profession that gives you a stable income and status, with a profession that is more interesting to you or seems more useful than the main one. This is a good compromise: you don't have to worry about money and losing status.
If nothing works out in your new profession, you don't risk anything because you didn't quit your old job. If everything works out in a new profession, you can gradually completely switch to it when you become an experienced specialist in it, and not a beginner.
Experience in two different professions allows you to look at work processes from an unexpected angle in each of them. You may have ideas on how to combine the advantages of both professions in one activity.
Cons.
You will have almost no free time, and more duties and responsibilities. It is one thing to do something as a hobby, purely for fun and not responsible for anything, another thing is to do it on a professional basis and be responsible. As a result, fatigue and stress are possible. Someone has enough energy for two professions, someone does not.
Tips.
Soberly assess your strengths and workload at your main job: do they allow you to take on a new additional load? Keep in mind that at first parallel work will take a lot of energy, even if you only do it a couple of days a week. Just because you have to dive into everything new.
Think about how to free up time for a second job and set aside at least one day for a good rest to recuperate. Option: agree on a shortened working day or a shortened working week at the main place. If this is not possible at your current job, you should find a more forgiving option before starting to work in a second profession.
____________________
Do you have several ideas at once, what would you like to do in parallel with your main job? Try to choose what suits you best with the help of a detailed career guidance test.
Good luck! There should be a place for pleasure in work.
More about career development
🚩 Was the material helpful? Share it with your friends on social networks!
Repost button - in the cap of Article ⏫
↩ to other articles
Why gloomy people with a difficult nature are more successful in life
- Zaya Gorett
- BBC Future
Image copyright Getty Images
Grumps and pessimists earn more, live longer and are happier in marriage. Columnist BBC Future tried to find out why a smile is not always the key to success in life.
On the screen, he is an incredibly charming man with unruly hair. However, behind the scenes, he needs too much personal space, to put it mildly.
He hates his fame. He hates his acting profession. In conversations with friends, his ex-girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley called him none other than "Grumpelstiltskin"
Everyone knows that Hugh Grant has a bad temper and is not easy to work with. But maybe it was his gloomy nature that made him successful?
- Bhutanese happiness: think about death more often
- Become happy in three steps: the Google employee method
- How to become happier in seven days
- High IQ will not make you wise and happy
- Happiness is not in salary.
.. And in what?
Modern society is obsessed with maintaining a positive attitude. Cultural trends have turned our lives into an endless pursuit of happiness. People buy a lot of books on the subject, attend self-improvement workshops and post a lot of inspirational quotes on the Internet.
Today, you can hire a happiness expert, learn different mental practices, or find inner fulfillment using a mobile app.
More than a million US military personnel are currently taking positive psychology courses, and optimism is being taught in UK schools.
Moreover, along with GDP, the well-being of citizens is now measured by the "happiness index".
The truth is that there are clear benefits to waiting for the worst. Pessimists may be more successful in negotiations and be more far-sighted in decision making. In addition, they are less likely to suffer from heart attacks.
Cynics tend to have more stable marriages, higher salaries, and longer lives - although, of course, they expect the exact opposite.
But there is a significant risk associated with a good mood: it reduces motivation, dims attention to detail and makes a person both gullible and selfish.
It is also known that optimists are more prone to alcohol abuse, overeating and unsafe sex.
So why is this happening? The fact is that all our feelings have a specific purpose.
Image copyright Rex Features
Image captionHugh Grant hates his films even though they made him $80 million
Skip the Podcast and continue reading.
Podcast
What was that?
We quickly, simply and clearly explain what happened, why it's important and what's next.
episodes
The End of the Story Podcast
Anger, sadness and pessimism are not the product of divine cruelty or banal bad luck.
These traits evolved to perform useful functions and help us survive.
Take anger, for example. So, for example, Newton was extremely touchy and vindictive, and Beethoven often made scandals, sometimes with fights.
It seems that genius is often associated with a short temper. Many examples of this can be found in Silicon Valley.
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is known for his temper tantrums and offensive remarks like "I'm sorry, did I take my stupidity pills today"? However, this did not stop him from creating a company worth 300 billion dollars.
For many years this relationship remained a mystery, until in 2009 Matthijs Baas of the University of Amsterdam decided to investigate the issue.
He recruited a group of student volunteers and made it his mission to piss them off in the name of science. He asked half of them to remember something annoying and write an essay about it.
"That pissed them off a bit, although it didn't get to the point of real temper tantrums," he says.
The second group was to grieve.
Both groups then took part in a game designed to test the creativity of the participants. In 16 minutes, they had to come up with as many ways as possible to improve teaching in the psychology department.
As Baath expected, the angry students had more ideas, and that was just the beginning.
The methods they proposed were also more original, and their agreement with the proposals of other participants was less than 1%.
Crucially, the angry volunteers were able to perform well in moments of "spontaneous innovation," or so-called unstructured thinking.
Imagine that you are asked to come up with several uses for a brick. A logical thinker would name ten different kinds of buildings, while a less structured approach would open up entirely new uses for bricks, such as weapons.
Image copyright, Getty Images
Image caption,Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is famous for his trademark sayings like "If I hear this again, I'll have to commit suicide"
Creativity is about how easily you can change the way you think.
In a critical situation, becoming a "mad genius" can even save your life.
"Anger really prepares the body to mobilize resources - it tells you that you are in a difficult situation and gives you the strength to get out of it," says Baas.
To understand how this works, we first need to understand what is going on in our brain.
Like most emotions, anger originates in the amygdala, a special region of the brain responsible for detecting a threat to a person's life.
The mechanism of its work is very effective: it raises the alarm long before the person realizes the danger.
To cause anger, the brain sends chemical signals to the body. The body is filled with adrenaline, and within a few minutes a person feels an incredible surge of energy.
His breathing and pulse quicken, and his blood pressure goes off scale. The blood rushes to the limbs and to the face, due to which it turns red, and the veins swell on the forehead.
This is what an angry person looks like.
It is believed that this physiological reaction has developed primarily to prepare the body for physical aggression, but it has other advantages. For example, it increases motivation and gives determination.
Image copyright, Shizhao/Wikimedia Commons
Image caption,Beethoven easily lost his temper and threw things at his servants
All of these physiological changes are very beneficial, but only if you have the opportunity to vent your anger , for example, fighting a lion or yelling at colleagues.
You may ruin your relationship with someone, but your blood pressure will return to normal. But if you constantly keep negative emotions in yourself, everything can be much worse.
The idea that holding back feelings can be harmful to health dates back to antiquity. The Greek philosopher Aristotle believed in catharsis (he coined the term we still use today).
He believed that watching a tragic play allows a person to experience such emotions as anger, sadness and guilt, while controlling them. Throwing these feelings out, a person can be freed from them all at once.
Later, his ideas were adopted by Sigmund Freud, who believed that catharsis could be achieved through psychotherapy sessions.
And in 2010, a group of scientists decided to look deeper into this issue. For their study, they recruited a group of 644 people suffering from coronary insufficiency.
In order to determine the level of anger, as well as repressed anger and a tendency to worry, scientists followed the subjects for a period of five to ten years.
During this time, 20% of them experienced a serious heart attack, and 9% died. Initially, both anger and repressed anger seemed to increase the likelihood of a heart attack.
However, taking into account other factors, the researchers found that anger did not affect this, while suppressing it almost tripled the likelihood of acute heart failure.
The reasons for this are still unknown, but other studies have shown that suppressing anger can lead to chronic high blood pressure.
In addition, not all of the benefits of free expression are related to health. For example, they can help in negotiations.
Image copyright, Getty Images
Image caption,Bill Gates, known for his irritability, donated $28 billion to charity
Aggression can be caused by someone who doesn't value your interests highly enough. In order for this person to see his mistake, it is necessary to show him that you can harm him physically, or deprive him of any advantages - favor, friendship or money.
This theory is supported by the expression on our face when we are angry. Research shows that it is not at all accidental, but is specifically aimed at exaggerating our physical strength in the eyes of the opponent.
Done right, aggression can help you get your way and raise your status - this way of negotiating has been known for ages.
What's more, scientists are increasingly discovering that grouchiness can have a beneficial effect on various social skills, making us more eloquent and persuasive, as well as improving memory.
"Bad mood indicates that we are in a new and difficult situation, and requires us to be more attentive, thoughtful and observant," says Joseph Forgas, a scientist who has studied the influence of emotions on human behavior for about forty years.
In addition, research has shown that people who are slightly upset are more likely to respond to social cues.
It is a curious fact that in such a mood people also tend to be more (not less) fair to others.
Tough but fair
Happiness is often associated with charity, but in practice this is not the case. Scientists conducted an experiment by having several volunteers feel disgust, sadness, anger, fear, happiness, surprise, or neutral emotions, and then play an ultimatum game.
According to the rules of this game, the first player is given a certain amount of money and asked how he would divide it between himself and another player. Then the second player decides whether to accept the offered amount or not.
If they come to an agreement, the money is divided as suggested by the first player. If not, none of them get anything.
This game is often used to test a sense of justice: it shows whether a person is ready to share the benefits equally or cares only about his own benefit.
An interesting fact is that all negative emotions sharpen the sense of justice and the need for equality.
However, if the rules are changed, it turns out that it is not just a matter of envy or resentment.
There is also a Dictator game with the same rules, but with one exception: nothing depends on the second participant at all, and he simply gets what the first one gives him.
It turned out that happy participants were more likely to keep a larger amount of the prize, while sad participants were much more generous.
"A person who is slightly upset pays more attention to social norms and expectations, and therefore treats others more fairly," says Forgas.
Image copyright, Getty Images
Image caption,Optimistic newspaper articles seem to anticipate weak economic performance in the coming weeks - and thus much bleaker headlines
In some situations, happiness comes with far greater risks. It is associated with the cuddling hormone oxytocin, which, according to many studies, negatively affects the ability to recognize threats.
In prehistoric times, happiness would have made our ancestors easy prey for predators, but in modern life it makes us underestimate the dangers of alcohol abuse, overeating and unprotected sex.
"Happiness works as a signal that we are safe and that we don't have to pay too much attention to our environment," he says.
A person blinded by happiness may miss important facts. Instead, he relies on the knowledge he already has, which can lead him to serious errors in judgment.
In one experiment, Forgas and his colleagues from the University of New South Wales (Australia) in their laboratory showed volunteers films designed to make them feel happy or sad.
They were then asked to determine how true urban myths are, such as that power lines can cause leukemia, or that the CIA was involved in the assassination of President Kennedy.
Those who were in a good mood were less likely to be skeptical and much more trusting.
Forgas then used a first-person shooter computer game to test how people in a good mood tend to believe stereotypes.
As he predicted, subjects in good spirits were more likely to shoot characters in turbans.
Among all the positive emotions, optimism about the future can have very paradoxical consequences.
Like happiness, positive fantasies about the future can demotivate a person.
"People feel accomplished, they relax and don't make enough effort to fulfill their positive fantasies and dreams," says Gabriel Oettingen of New York University.
Through many experiments, Oettingen proved that the more we dream, the less likely it is that our desires will come true.
Graduates who spend their time fantasizing about a good job tend to earn less. Patients who only think about getting better recover more slowly.
"People say dream and your dreams will come true, but that's far from reality," she says.
Optimistic thoughts can prevent an overweight person from losing weight, and a smoker from giving up this bad habit.
Pessimism as a defense mechanism
One of the worries, according to Oettingen, is that these risks can also operate at the societal level.
By comparing articles in USA Today with economic data a week or a month after the story was published, she found that the more optimistic the newspaper's forecasts were, the worse the subsequent performance was.
She then analyzed presidential inauguration speeches and found that the most positive speeches ended up with higher unemployment and lower GDP while those who delivered them were in office.
Add to these disappointing conclusions the tendency of people to believe that bad things happen only to others - and we have a serious reason to think about the dangers that lie in wait for us.
Perhaps we should finally take off our rose-colored glasses and stop thinking that the glass is half full.
The use of pessimism as a defense mechanism is closely related to the application of Murphy's Law, which states that if something bad can happen, it will.
Expecting the worst, you will be ready when it happens.
It works like this. Imagine that you need to make a speech. All you have to do is think about the worst things that could happen.
For example, you might trip on your way to the stage, lose the memory card on which your presentation is stored, your computer might crash, you might be asked the wrong question (experienced pessimists can come up with a thousand more options).
Just make a list of them and then find a solution for each one.
Psychologist Julie Norem of Wellesley College, Massachusetts, is an expert on pessimism.
"I'm a bit clumsy, especially when I'm nervous, so I'll make sure to wear low heels if that's the case. I'll be there early to check for wires or other things on stage to trip over.
I usually create several back-up copies of my presentation. [I am so prepared that] if necessary, I can give a speech without it. Moreover, I send a copy to the organizers, have a memory card with me with another copy, and bring my own laptop.
