Hot topics to talk about with friends

168 Questions to Ask Friends That Are Fun, Personal, and Deep

Relationships

Time for a BFF quiz.

By Kristi Kellogg and Lauren Rearick

July 28, 2022

Photo: Jean Catuffe/GC Images

Ready to achieve BFF status? Take your friendship to the next level with these fun, personal, and juicy questions to ask friends.

No matter how many years you’ve known your friend, there’s always something new to discover about your BFF. And part of being a best friend, means finding new ways to show you care. Friendship questions are the perfect way of building on an already stellar friendship.

Quiz your pals with deep questions that allow you to understand what makes them tick. You can also find out more about their personality with fun questions that cover the basics, like favorite Hollywood superstar and current Netflix obsession. We’ve rounded up some of the best questions to ask friends, ranging from silly to serious, that are sure to bring out all the feels and spark a stronger bond.

But of course, your BFF didn’t become your ride or die overnight. Knowing what kinds of questions to ask your friend group, including your newest friends, will help you cultivate closeness with everyone in your circle. You’ll find the deep questions to ask a new friend are perfect for a bond that’s just beginning.

So, grab your bestie for a best friend questions video date, or pull up this list of 168 questions the next time you’re hanging with your friend group. You’ll be surprised by how much there is to learn about people, no matter how far into the friendship you are!

In this article:

Personal questions to ask friends

Fun questions to ask friends

Juicy questions to ask friends

Deep questions to ask a new friend

Personal questions to ask friends

1. What embarrasses you the most and/or what’s been your most embarrassing moment?

2. Who do you look up to the most, and what qualities do you love about that person?

3. What’s your biggest fear?

4. What’s your love language?

5. How do you like to be comforted when you’re sad or upset?

6. What’s your all-time favorite memory?

7. Who was the last person to make you cry and why?

8. Where do you hope to be five years from now? Ten? Fifteen?

9. When have you felt the most proud?

10. When have you felt the most challenged?

11. Have you ever been bullied?

12. Do you have any regrets? If so, what are they?

13. Out of all your family members, who are you closest to?

14. What’s one thing most people don’t know about you?

15. What do you think happens when we die?

16. Do you want to have kids one day? How many?

17. What's your earliest childhood memory?

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

19. Do you believe in soulmates?

20. When you can't sleep, what keeps you up at night?

21. What has your hardest goodbye in life been so far?

22. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

23. What’s a talent you wish you had or that you’re working on?

Fun questions to ask friends

1. Which celeb would you want as your other BFF and why?

2. What do you do when no one else is around?

3. What's the best present you ever received? Who gave it to you and why was it so special?

4. What's the last thing you watched on Netflix?

5. What do you consider the ultimate comfort food?

6. If you could only have three things on your life bucket list, what would they be?

7. Would you rather be an expert at one thing, or pretty good at many things?

8. What’s your favorite thing you own and why?

9. Have you ever had your fortune told?

10. Would you rather order in or eat out?

11. What was the first movie you remember seeing in theaters?

Most Popular

12. What’s your favorite TikTok video?

13. What’s been your most questionable haircut and/or fashion moment?

14. If money was no object, what would you buy?

15. When was the moment in your life you laughed the hardest?

16. What do you do when no one else is around?

17. Where do you want to travel the most?

18. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

19. What book has impacted you the most?

20. What’s your favorite movie romance? commercial?

21. What are the qualities that attract you most in a love interest?

22. You just won $10,000 — what are you going to do with the money?

23. What's the luckiest thing that's ever happened to you?

24. What's your favorite way to exercise?

25. Do you like roller coasters?

26. What is your most hated chore and why?

27. What's your favorite holiday and why?

28. If you were going to get some ink, what would you choose and why?

29. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

30. If you had to choose only one, would you pick a dog or a cat?

31. Do you believe in aliens?

32. If you were President, what's the first thing you would work to change in this country?

33. If you had to live in another time period, what would you choose?

34. What foreign language(s) would you want to master and why?

35. What's your all-time favorite dessert?

36. Do you believe in ghosts?

37. What’s your survival plan during a zombie apocalypse?

38 If you were an animal, what would you be?

39. If you had to create an alter ego for yourself, who would it be and what would you name them?

40. What’s your No. 1 karaoke song?

41. Have you ever been on a blind date?

42. What was your AIM screen name, or your first email address?

43. What’s your favorite piece of random trivia?

44. What was your first concert?

45. Which decade, in your opinion, had the best fashion trends?

46. If a song played every time you entered a room, what would it be?

47. What’s your skincare routine?

48. Did you ever go to summer camp?

49. When’s the last time you got to really experience nature?

50. Do you feel that you’re young at heart, or an old soul?

51. What does your name mean, and why was it given to you?

52. What’s an unexpected movie that makes you cry?

53. What flavor of ice cream best represents your personality?

54. What’s the one snack you can’t live without?

55. What’s the first place you’d go to in the mall?

56. What’s the scariest or most thrilling roller coaster you’ve ever been on?

57. What’s the last song you listened to?

58. Which item in your closet is your favorite?

59. What is your key to a cozy evening in?

Most Popular

60. What’s the last video game you played?

61. What’s the last thing TikTok convinced you to buy?

Juicy questions to ask friends

1. What's the last lie you told?

2. Who was your very first crush?

3. What's the best compliment you've ever received?

4. What do you consider your best physical feature?

5. What are the top three things that stress you out?

6. What are the top three ways you deal with stress?

7. When was the last time you were jealous and why?

8. Do you believe in monogamy?

9. If you choose to get married one day, what would your dream proposal scenario be?

10. What would your dream home look like?

11. When’s the last time you felt inspired to create something?

12. How did your parents meet?

13. Who’s been your favorite teacher?

14. What are your favorite childrens’ names?

15. What did you dream about last night?

16. What do you think you’ll be like in old age?

17. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

18. What’s something you’d consider unforgivable?

19. What’s the most loved you’ve ever felt?

20. Have you ever experienced a “friendship breakup”? What did it teach you?

21. Who was your first friend, and are they still in your life?

22. Would you ever consider being in a long-distance relationship?

23. What do you think the best way to resolve conflict is?

24. Do you feel that you have a healthy relationship with social media?

25. Is there a time when I made you feel particularly well supported?

26. How can I be a better friend to you?

27. What does friendship mean to you?

28. What qualities do you look for in a best friend?

29. What’s the most important thing I should know about you?

Deep questions to ask new friends

1. What are your pronouns?

2. What would be your perfect day? Plan it out from waking up to bedtime.

Most Popular

3. What’s your zodiac sign?

4. What’s your Enneagram type?

5. On vacation, are you the relax-by-the-pool type or a get-up-and-go adventurer?

6. Do you consider yourself religious or spiritual?

7. What college major are you thinking of choosing and why?

8. If you could only listen to one singer or band for the rest of your life, who would you choose?

9. What's your go-to dish when you have to make dinner?

10. Are you a superstitious person?

11. What’s your favorite board game to play?

12. Who’s the best movie villain?

13. Who’s your favorite follow on TikTok? On Instagram?

14. Did you have an imaginary friend growing up?

15. If you had to describe yourself in only three words, what would you choose? What words do you think your friends would choose to describe you?

16. Do you have any phobias?

17. What are your top three biggest pet peeves?

18. What's your favorite color and what's your least favorite color?

19. What would your dream vacay consist of?

20. Are you competitive?

21. What’s a tough experience that you learned and grew from?

22. What’s your relationship with your parents like?

23. Do you most often follow your heart or your head?

24. What’s the most unexpected or unusual thing on your bucket list?

25. What was your last romantic relationship like?

26. What’s a value you’re unwilling to compromise on?

27. What's your absolute dream job?

28. If you could have a superpower, what would you choose?

29. What TV show do you turn on when you just want to zone out and feel better?

30. What was the last movie you watched in a theater?

31. If you could time travel, where would you go?

32. What do you usually have for breakfast?

33. What's your favorite plant or flower?

34. What’s your favorite season and why?

35. Who always makes you laugh?

36. What do you think your best quality is?

37. What is your definition of success?

38. What’s your most-watched movie?

39. Do you have any hidden talents?

40. What’s the best thing you’ve dressed up as for Halloween?

41. Would you rather live by the ocean or in the mountains?

42. What’s the longest trip you’ve taken?

43. Are you a right brain or left brain person?

44. What is your most-used emoji?

45. What’s a bad habit you’re trying to break?

46. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

47. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

48. Do you like to recharge alone or around other people?

49. What’s the best museum you’ve ever been to?

50. When can we hang out again?

51. Which fictional character do you most relate to?

52. What would your ideal friend hangout include?

53. What food do you absolutely hate?

54. Do you believe in your horoscope?

55. What’s your most used emoji?

Let us slide into your DMs. Sign up for the Teen Vogue daily email.

Most Popular

Keywordsfriendshipfriendsquestions relationshipsbffBFFs

icon

Gallery

Mental Health

How to Cheer Someone Up: 51 Ways to Make a Friend Smile

Here's exactly how to make someone feel better.

NaN slides

By Teen Vogue

Books

5 Ways to Enjoy Pop Culture With Your Friends While Quarantined

Featuring Netflix Chrome extensions, Discord servers, and more.

By Teen Vogue

55 Interesting Topics To Talk About With Friends, Partners, Or Family

So, your conversations have become a bit stale.

Talking to friends or loved ones has become… boring!

It doesn’t need to be that way.

There are so many interesting things to talk about.

So many topics to choose from.

Where shall we start?

Love

We all long for it, but what do we actually know about love?

There is so much scope for interesting conversations here – so many things to talk about with your friends or even your partner.

1. Is love dependence on another?

2. Is love solely a biochemical response to specific, measurable, sets of stimuli?

3. Is love a choice or a feeling?

4. Does love ever conquer all or is that notion just the hype of sinister greeting card companies?

5. Do we love people because of who they are, or in spite of who they are?

6. Do opposites really attract?

7. Should you change for someone you love?

8. Can you love more than one romantic partner at the same time?

9. How long does it take to fall in love?

10. Why is beauty so subjective?

11. Do any other species in the animal kingdom experience love like we humans do?

12. Is there such a thing as a soulmate or kindred spirit?

13. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?

Philosophers and poets have pondered these things at great length…

…it’s possible we’d have made better progress on answers if more groups of friends tackled the questions instead.

Psychology

When speaking of inner worlds, few things can be as fascinating as dissecting the “Whys” and “Hows” and “Whos” and “Whats” of our everyday lives.

Psychology is a massive and hugely interesting topic with loads of things to talk about. Try these out for size:

1. Nature of nurture – which plays the biggest role in who you are?

2. Why do some people enjoy things that you really dislike?

3. Is happiness an end goal or simply a by-product of other things?

4. Why do we remember some things vividly and forget other things entirely?

5. What is your most vivid memory from your early childhood?

6. Which of your parents are you most like in terms of personality?

7. What are you most afraid of?

8. What are your 3 biggest character flaws?

9. What are you most proud of? Why?

10. What percentage of your decisions do you think are made by your unconscious or subconscious and what percentage by your conscious?

11. Do you think you make good decisions by and large?

12. Are you more YOU when you are alone or when you are with others?

13. When someone asks us how we are, why do we respond with “fine” when we’re really not fine?

14. How old do you feel in your mind?

15. Why does your mind hold you back from doing things you might enjoy?

16. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? What are your reasons for being so?

For some of these questions, it can be eye-opening to get the other person to answer for you. Try it and see.

Metaphysics

Some of the most challenging topics of conversation fall under the metaphysics heading.

From the Greek that literally translates as ‘beyond nature,’ metaphysics deals with all sorts of questions about being and time and life and death and change. Plenty to talk about then!

Try these topics on for size:

1. Are you the same person you were yesterday?

2. What is time? Are we affected by it, or does our consciousness create it?

3. Is there such a thing as a soul?

4. Is there anything for us beyond our physical deaths?

5. Could we ever accurately predict the future? Or does the “spooky action” of the quantum world, as Einstein put it, mean things are inherently unpredictable?

6. Are there an infinite number of realities beyond our own where each possible decision is taken and each fork in the road traveled down?

7. Why is there something and not nothing?

Get ready to have your minds blown.

You may also like (article continues below):

40 Thought-Provoking Questions You’ll Be Thinking About For Days
How To Debate Deep, Challenging Topics Without It Becoming A Heated Argument
9 Deep Questions To Make Your Brain Hurt (In A Good Way)
15 Admirable Qualities Of Open-Minded People
10 Traits Of A Deep Thinker
16 Fun Things To Do With Your Best Friend

Belief Systems

A large part of psychology – and one that deserves its own section – are the beliefs that we hold so dear.

This includes topics such as religion, political views, logical beliefs, and pretty much anything that requires you to have faith.

1. Why do you believe what you believe to be true?

2. Should we look after our own well-being, or should we all look after each other?

3. Do you believe that man is inherently good?

4. Have you ever changed your mind and stop believing something that you once strongly believed in? Why?

5. Do you believe intelligent life exists beyond this planet?

6. Does the government have too much or too little say over the way we live our lives?

7. Is there a limit to free speech or should anybody be allowed to say anything they like?

8. How do you deal with information or evidence that contradicts a belief you hold strongly?

9. How much information do you need before you believe something someone says? Does it depend on how much you trust that person or how intelligent you think they are?

10. Is there such a thing as truth?

11. Why does religion play such a big role in the lives of so many people?

12. Is atheism a form of religion?

When discussing these sorts of topics, it is worth knowing how to debate in a healthy way rather than letting it descend into an argument.

Morality And Ethics

What’s right and what’s wrong? Good or evil? Morally acceptable or morally outrageous? Now those are some deep and interesting things to talk about with friends.

There are so many scenarios to consider, but here are just a few to get you started.

1. Why is it so easy to overlook the mass suffering in the world?

2. Should we have the right to end our own lives?

3. Two parents decide to raise their son as a girl (or vice versa) – should they be allowed to if it will cause the child identity issues when they are older?

4. If it were guaranteed to reduce violent crime by 30%, should everyone have to give a DNA sample to the police? What if it were 80%?

5. Is it ever just to sacrifice the life of one innocent person in order to save the lives of 5 innocent people? What if taking one life would save 100 lives? Is the decision made easier if the person being sacrificed were a convicted murderer? Would you be more willing to sacrifice an adult than you would be to sacrifice a baby? Would you sacrifice your own life?

6. If you learned that your father was cheating on your mother (or vice versa), would you tell your mother knowing that it would leave her unhappy for the rest of her life, or stay quiet if your father promised he’d never do it again?

7. Is it ok to perform experiments on animals if it means saving human lives? Does the type of animal matter?

When you’re chatting to friends or acquaintances, you could talk about the usual things such as work and TV and the news, or you could dive into something a little deeper.

The topics and questions above are rabbit holes of possibility – as soon as you head down one, it inevitably leads to another and another.

So go on, try one on for size and see where the conversation takes you.

Interesting topics for conversation with anyone, anywhere

Hello everyone!

Communication can come to a standstill regardless of who your interlocutor is: a new acquaintance or a person with whom you have known each other for a hundred years. In order not to stretch awkward pauses, it would be good to always have interesting topics for conversation at hand.

We have prepared for you a large list of topics and tips for a variety of occasions. Don't forget to save the article so you don't lose it!

Suggestions for interesting conversations

Before we go directly to the topics, we would like to dwell on important nuances that will help avoid communication mistakes:

"Yes or no".
If you come to a tête-à-tête meeting, do not turn the dialogue into an interrogation with passion. Do not bombard the person with questions as if he came for an interview. When deciding to touch on a particular topic, be sure to tell similar information about yourself. Usually people continue to speak out of inertia and so do not feel discomfort. But pulling the blanket over yourself, forcing you to listen only to your person, is also not worth it. Stick to the golden mean.
Listen carefully, ask clarifying questions. This is how you show interest and show respect.
Don't give unsolicited advice, especially to strangers. Even if you think the person needs it. This is extremely insensitive.
Avoid complaining and pitting anyone. The negative is repulsive.
Do not be afraid of silence. There can be natural pauses in any conversation. Long conversations are also exhausting. If it is comfortable to talk with a person, then it will be comfortable with him and be silent for a while. At least to finish your salad or finish your cup of coffee, if the circumstances are appropriate.

Topics to talk about

Each situation has its own topics to talk about, so we have divided this article into several categories. Choose your case and take note of what fits.

On a date

Before a date, the main thing to remember is how important it is to be yourself. Do not choose topics that you are not interested in.

If you do not like art, do not study the work of Claude Monet and speak about the work of Pablo Picasso before the meeting.

Look for things you can talk about passionately together.

Otherwise, you shouldn't even get upset if communication doesn't work out.

We did not divide the topics into male and female, but put together a universal list of sample questions, on the basis of which you can develop a discussion with both a guy and a girl. Not only will they help keep the conversation going, but they'll also help you get to know the person well enough to form an opinion about them and decide if they're right for you.

What are some interesting questions for the couple?

We invite you to chat on the following topics:

How was your day, working week?
Talk about what helped you get to know each other. For example, if the meeting took place in a group of friends, ask how long the person has known them. If the acquaintance happened on social networks, ask how often the interlocutor makes friends in this way.
What do you like to do in your free time, what are your hobbies?
Where are you from?
What childhood memories do you remember the most?
What films do you watch? What was the last time you went to the cinema? What do you recommend to watch from comedies, science fiction and other things?
What places in the city do you visit most often?
Where have you rested in your life and where would you prefer to return again?
How do you feel about sports, art, music?
Do you like to read books? What genres do you prefer? What publications do you remember the most?
Do you have dreams?
Tell us about your profession, study, work.
How do you feel about alcohol?
Are there bad habits that you struggle with?
How do you like to spend weekends and holidays? Do you prefer a relaxing holiday or an active one?
Do you have any pets?
What would you like to do if you had no restrictions on finances and resources?
Are you a lark or an owl?
What do you value most in members of the opposite sex?
What brings you the most joy?
What are you looking for in a relationship? What are your goals?
What do you watch on TV? Who is subscribed to on YouTube? How do you feel about TikTok?
What is your attitude towards loneliness?
Do you have childhood friends with whom you still keep in touch?
What type of personality do you consider yourself: extroverts or introverts?
How do you feel about self-knowledge, meditation, yoga and other practices?
What event are you looking forward to? This could be, for example, a festival, a concert by your favorite band, a friend's birthday, a relative's wedding, etc.

These are just examples of some topics.

You can create your own list based on your own interests and preferences.

For example, if you like Italian cuisine, tell us about the most interesting dishes and ask your interlocutor what his culinary preferences are.

In the company of friends

Silence rarely hangs in a noisy company, but you can still make the meeting even more exciting and exciting. And there are countless topics for friendly conversations.

Here are the random options:

If you were Neo in The Matrix, which pill would you choose: blue or red?
What superpower would you like to have and why?
Would you rather be the richest person or the smartest?
You can discuss some interesting life hacks and suggest trying them.
New gadgets, mobile applications, news from the world of technology.
How do you feel about esotericism, predictions, horoscopes? Have you had any experience with similar practices?
Discussions on adrenaline, extreme sports, climbing, camping, etc.
Attitude towards various conspiracy theories. For example, the world is ruled by aliens, special services, is mass chipping possible, who killed Kennedy, etc.
Do you believe in ghosts, afterlife?
What's the best advice you've ever been given?
What would you spend money on if you won a very large amount?
New movies, bloopers, favorite directors, etc.
Political news.
Cool memes from the Internet.
What do you think about gender equality, feminism and other movements.
Which place of residence would you prefer: city or countryside, coastal resort or mountains, house or apartment, metropolis or province?
Would you agree to explore a new planet in the event of an impending apocalypse?
If you had a time machine, where would you go?
How long could you live without communication and amenities?
What was the first thing you felt and did if you woke up in an unfamiliar place?

Note! One of the most productive ways to spend time with friends is to organize board games. So you will avoid silence, and stretch your brain.

With strangers

In the company of strangers, topics for communication should be chosen carefully so as not to stumble upon subjects of heated disagreement.

Here are the most neutral questions that can be used for conversation:

What do you do, what is your occupation?
Where did you study and why exactly there?
Do you have a hobby?
How do you prefer to relax, spend holidays, relax after a working day?
Where did you spend your childhood, where are you from? How did you get to this city?
You can discuss the most popular classic questions. For example, talk about the weather, nature and housing and communal services problems.
If friends introduced you, ask how long they have known each other and what connects them.

As you ask these questions, always remember to be sure to say the same about yourself.

In a conversation with a stranger, do not touch on “slippery” topics . It is undesirable to talk about religion, personal life, political views, finances, health.

Pay attention to the other person's reaction to certain phrases or topics. So you can understand what he is interested in, and what is better not to talk about. In addition, pay attention to how willingly the stranger communicates and whether you are too intrusive.

It may turn out that you are looking for topics to discuss in vain.

For heartfelt conversation

As a rule, topics for spiritual conversations are found by themselves. The direction will depend on who is in front of you: a close friend or a friend, a loved one, a parent, etc.

The simplest topics will be everyday life, family, relationships with relatives, colleagues, financial issues, health.

If a person is really close, then the range of topics that can be touched upon expands significantly.

You can discuss sex with your partner or spouse. Ask what suits you, what you would like to bring, what fantasies to try to realize.

Here is a list of universal topics that are suitable for heart-to-heart conversations:

Childhood, youthful, student memories. This is an inexhaustible topic, because everyone will find funny, cute, sad, interesting stories from the past in their memory.
Dreams of a person: what he dreamed about in childhood, what he dreams about now.
Friendship: is it possible between a man and a woman, how does the interlocutor look at communication with former partners, etc.
Esoteric, unknown. As a rule, in large companies, rarely does anyone admit that they believe in ghosts or have ever seen something unusual, because no one wants to be ridiculed. But behind a sincere conversation, such secrets are easier to entrust.
Children: attitude towards children, large families, childfree.
Intimate Such issues can be discussed not only between partners, but also between two friends. What is acceptable and what is not. You can share some funny cases from the past. But for this it is necessary that the interlocutor be really congenial and open enough for such topics.

Intimate conversations are best conducted in the evening over a cup of aromatic tea or wine to create a special intimate atmosphere.

List of deep philosophical questions

If you want something more intellectual and serious, you can discuss the following questions:

Are we alone in the universe?
When will people be free to fly into space? Is it necessary?
What will happen to our planet if all people disappear? How quickly and to what extent will structures, nature, wildlife be changed?
What books have had the greatest impact on modern civilization? If you want to show off your intellect, you can, for example, compare the Bible, the Koran, the Torah and other religious works, or share your opinion about literary classics.
What events of world history were the most striking and significant? You can discuss the great commanders, the overthrow of empires, the conquest of new lands, etc.
Medical novelties, the latest news from the world of pharmacological technologies, medieval and modern methods of treatment.
The theme of immortality. Would you like to live forever, would you agree to cryogenic freezing for 200 years?
If you could choose an era in which to live, what would it be?
What would heaven and hell look like if you invented them?
Is there a destiny? If so, how then freedom of choice?
What is the meaning of life?
Where did self-esteem come from if man evolved from apes?
Will religion as an institution last forever or will it ever become obsolete?
How would the world change if life expectancy increased to 500 years?
How to live life to the fullest?
Do animals have a soul and how does it differ from a human one?
Is poverty inevitable?
Do weapons protect or destroy?
Why are the dead more respected than the living?
How relevant is the institution of marriage and family in the modern world?
If we learn from mistakes, why are we so afraid of them?

Such topics can be discussed in company with friends, in correspondence with a new acquaintance, in the family circle, with a beloved man (woman), even with teenage children.

You can come up with your own questions and google them first, and then show off your knowledge and thoughts in the company.

Married couple

Married life is often engulfed in routine, and over the years it is more and more difficult to find topics for communication that have not yet been ridden.

If, apart from everyday life and children, you have not talked about anything for a long time, here is an approximate list of topical topics and questions that will not only dilute the family evening, but also help you get closer:

What are the most joyful or funny moments in your life (not necessarily joint) can you remember?
Plan your vacation and discuss the necessary details.
Rate how the two of you have changed since you met and why.
What was the most difficult event in your married life for each of you?
What annoys you the most at work?
What brings joy and what brings sorrow?
When did you first feel like an adult?
What details would you change about your own appearance?
How do you see your old age?
What act, from your point of view, was stupid or wrong, do you regret the most?
How did you imagine your life when you were little?
What dreams had to be abandoned and is there a chance to fulfill them now?
What skill would you like to acquire, what to learn?

This is only a modest part of everything that you can discuss with your soulmate. You can easily choose any topic from the section of philosophical questions or for a sincere conversation. Family psychologists also recommend sharing secrets.

You can play a game: one spouse asks any 5 questions, and the second must honestly answer them.

It would also be very good to remember what you talked about in the first days and weeks of your acquaintance. This will help to nostalgic and refresh the senses.

How to be a good conversationalist

In conclusion, here are some generally accepted rules of communication:

If the interlocutor is talking, do not interrupt with questions, let him finish his thought. Perhaps you have found a topic that is interesting for a person and new subjects for discussion will naturally be born from it. The conversation should not be forced. The key to good dialogue is ease.
Call your interlocutor by name. This helps to establish trust and sympathy.
Do not use obscene language, jargon, parasitic words in company with unfamiliar people.
Show respect even if you disagree with something said.
Keep your distance. Not all people like it when someone breaks into their personal space.
Avoid distractions while talking on your smartphone. This is not appropriate.

We also recommend that you check out our other publications:

How to learn to learn
How to learn to control your emotions and feelings
How to keep up a conversation
How to learn to say NO
Where to find motivation and how to motivate yourself: effective methods and pitfalls
How to learn to remember better: mnemonics
How to deal with stress: useful techniques
How to ask the right questions

Conclusion

We have sorted out the best topics for conversation. Use them as a hint, not as a guide to action. It is not necessary, for example, to go on a date with a whole list of the above questions and strive by all means to ask them all.

And to become an interesting interlocutor, you need to read a lot of fiction, news, documentary research, historical and geographical facts, self-development sources, etc. Then there will definitely not be any difficulties and confusion in front of the interlocutor.

We wish you exciting conversations. See you later!

Interesting topics for conversation with a girl, boyfriend, friends and pen

Table of contents

Interesting topics for conversation

Most of our social life is based on communication. But not everyone finds it easy to find a common language with the interlocutor. Often it seems that there is nothing to talk about. An awkward silence makes us nervous, confused. But if you know interesting topics for conversation, you can quickly start a conversation. With the help of our article, you can find interesting topics for conversation with a girl, boyfriend, friends and by correspondence and make your communication on any topic more attractive from other people and in any team.

Basic communication rules

9043AI interlocutor

How to behave	What should be avoided by
Listen to the interlocutor, it is reasonable to insert clarifying questions
Arguing, convincing people wrong
Talking about common topics, the weather, if common ground has not yet been found

General topics for talking to men and women

There are universal topics that will suit a person of almost any gender and age. They will help to revive communication and learn more about the interlocutor.

What do you do, study or work? The basis of the conversation. From here you can already ask specific questions depending on the answer of the interlocutor.
What do you study at the institute?
Do you work in your specialty?
Do you like your position?
If you were offered a job change, what would you do?
How are your relationships with colleagues? An unfamiliar interlocutor is unlikely to gossip and condemn someone, but you can evaluate his attitude by reaction.
What do you do in your free time? Is there a hobby?
Are there any pets. One of the most popular topics of conversation. If you meet an interlocutor with whom pets coincide, then the conversation will definitely go in the right direction.
Recently watched a new movie. Have you already seen him? If yes, then you can share your impressions; if not, advise whether it is worth watching. The main thing is not to tell the plot, no one likes it.
Were recently in one of the institutions of the city. Very good service. Have you not visited it? How did you like the food?

These are general conversation topics that will help you have a casual conversation even with a stranger.

The conversation should not turn into an interview or even an interrogation. It should be diluted with some stories, additions on a specific topic.

How do you behave when you have nothing to say?

How to behave when there is nothing to say

Silence and prolonged pauses may seem unbearable for both interlocutors. The main thing is not to be nervous, not to come up with stupid jokes or sparkling topics. Talk about any little things, note how the weather has changed. You can recall an interesting incident that happened today at work / school. Ask how the other person's day went.

Note that if a person answers all questions in monosyllables “Yes”, “No”, “normal”, I don’t know”, then he may not be in the mood to continue the conversation with you. In this case, the best way out is to find an excuse to completely stop the conversation.

Olga Vinichenko, psychologist, gestalt therapist supervisor

“Listen to yourself the next time you start talking to someone. What is more important to you now? Would you like to get a little closer to the person, become more visible and see your interlocutor better? Or is it more important for you to leave the distance that is, unchanged? Or do you want to move away a little, to become a little bit freer, more detached from each other?

If you manage to figure out and understand what desire is the most urgent for you now, then it will become clear to you how to speak further, what words to choose in order to satisfy your goal and maintain good relations. Because all three desires: to approach, fix the distance, move away - are completely natural forms of communication and all three must be present in our communication so that it is balanced and saturates all participants.

Video: how to avoid awkward pauses in conversations?

Interesting topics to talk to anyone

Any conversation carries a semantic load. We communicate to get to know a person better and to tell something about ourselves. Therefore, the main interesting topics for conversations are the activities of the interlocutor.

Talk about work/school

These can be general questions about work or interesting nuances. Do not forget that when asking a person, you need to briefly talk about your life. In addition to the question: Where do you work / study?, you can find out the following:

Favorite subject at school/discipline at university.
What do you plan to become after graduation?
Do you like this job/school/university?
Would you like to change your profession/field of study?

It is not correct to ask a person about his salary and income. It is better to take an interest in his achievements, promotion, academic success and plans.

Talk about hobbies

Every person has hobbies, hobbies, interests. You can ask this directly, ask additional questions:

What do you do in your free time?
How long did you master this or that direction (playing the guitar, cross-stitching, assembling computers, hi-tech, etc.)?
Have you thought about turning your hobby into an additional income? This question is relevant now, besides, you will show the interlocutor that you consider his hobby worthy of payment.
What was your hobby as a child?
How are you spending your weekends?

There are a huge number of such leading questions. In most cases, a person actively answers them, because he loves his hobby and will gladly tell.

Psychological advice. When you find out about an interesting increase in a person, you can gently compliment him with a simple phrase: “This seems so exciting, but difficult. It probably takes a lot of patience, strength and talent to learn.” This may include making handmade soap, growing violets, snowboarding, cycling. And this is the answer to the question: what topics can you talk about with an unfamiliar person.

Something else to talk about

During awkward pauses, even the most interesting conversation can be interrupted and start over again is supposedly stupid. Something to talk about to take the pressure off the promise.

Evlakhov Pavel, psychologist (Germany)

“In general, the key to success in communication - to achieving the desired goals of communication, lies primarily in the ability to be attentive to the psychological state of a communication partner, the ability to notice how it changes in the process of communication. Can you see the psychological context of a communication partner? So you can choose the right means of communication. Can you see the slightest changes in the psychological context of a communication partner during communication? So you get the most important feedback, which will allow you to communicate subtly and beautifully. The image is a waltz. An experienced dancer feels and therefore leads his partner in the dance. And both end up enjoying the dance.”

Observations

Observations on the emergence of new topics for communication

It will never be strange to talk about what is going on around and at the present time. If you don't know what to ask your interlocutor, these questions will help you:

What a beautiful brooch, cap, interesting jacket you have. Where did you buy it?
Do you have a pleasant perfume? What's this?
Who do you know here? If we are talking about any party of mutual friends.
Interesting music playing? What do you think?
Did you see the original sign at the entrance/figurine on the window/chandelier (whatever)? I think it's original/weird/thematic. What do you think?

You can also discuss other people. “You know that guy at the bar?” or "Look how cute this woman's dog is." But only in a positive way. Phrases like “Look how he dances awkwardly” or “Well, how could you choose such a dress” will turn you into a negative gossip. Even worse, if you make a remark to a good friend of your interlocutor.

Plans for the future

Plans for the future is another topic of conversation

Not everyone wants to share their secret plans and places. But it's a good topic to keep the conversation going in a casual manner. Sample questions:

Any plans for the weekend?
Would you like to change city life for a country house?
What event are you looking forward to? (concert, celebration, meeting).
Do you plan to change jobs?
Which university do you plan to enter?
What is the main goal for this period?
Where do you plan to have a rest this year?

If you already know a person for a sufficient amount of time, he will gladly share his plans. But you should not ask such questions “on the forehead” to strangers. do not invade personal space until you are allowed to.

Topics to talk to your boyfriend

When the relationship is long and you want to know even more about your loved one, you can talk about almost everything on the next date.

How are things in the family?
How does he imagine himself in 10/15/20 years?
Where does he want to live in the future?
What is he throwing about?
Would you like to have a pet? What?
What is the most important thing in life for him?
The brightest impression in my life.
What is he afraid of? Are there phobias?

This will help you get to know each other better. But talking about former relationships can be unpleasant for both interlocutors. One can feel because of such questions; the second will be unpleasant to learn about how strong the feelings were.

Universal topics for communication in a team

A work team is a special environment in which communication can even become a necessary measure. At the same time, it is worth maintaining a certain neutrality, finding a balance between a friendly conversation at a coffee break and a friendly conversation with closer colleagues. What you can talk about:

Plans for the weekend, vacation.
Favorite movies, music, books, video games.
Pets.
Weather.
Health.
Children and relatives.
New acquisitions.
Apartment renovation, construction.
Useful links for work.

As you can see, the topics for communication in a team are quite universal. It is worth avoiding too personal conversations if you are not sure of close relationships with colleagues. Also, do not negatively discuss other colleagues, and even more so the higher management. Dishonest colleagues can easily take advantage of this. It is not recommended to talk about love affairs, as well as expensive acquisitions.

What not to talk about

There are topics that should be avoided in conversations. In some cases, they may be appropriate, but in most cases they should be abandoned so as not to lose communication forever.

Your past relationships. All the more betrayal. If the conversation is between a guy and a girl who are in a relationship or planning it, then confessions of infidelity or passionate, unrequited love for another, for sure, will not give a chance to feelings.
Do not speak badly about your soulmate, about children. Even if you are in a quarrel, you can only complain to your closest friend and as a last resort. The quarrel will pass, but rumors about your conversation may reach your partner.
Reproaching any religion. Too sensitive a topic for discussion that should be avoided.
Making fun of other people's physical imperfections. It's obscene and not worthy. Even if a friend complains to you about everything superfluous, it’s not nice to directly agree with her. It would be much better to say: “I’m not sure that you really need it, but a friend advised one diet, I can tell you.”
Own income. It is not always right to notify friends and acquaintances about your salary. You can talk about the increase, but it is not worth voicing the full amount.

The list of prohibited topics depends on the proximity of the relationship. With some friends you can talk about anything. But it is worth remembering that your every word remains in the memory of a person.

Vladislav Milevsky, psychologist, psychoanalyst

“In a communication situation, it is important to understand the interlocutor, to grasp the actual and emotional meaning of the transmitted message, to try to respond to it properly, to understand the interlocutor empathically. Meanwhile, there are unproductive ways of communication or approaches that it is important to be aware of in order to be an effective interlocutor in order to avoid communication pitfalls that often lead to a cessation of communication, erect an invisible "wall" between the interlocutors and become a barrier to continuing the conversation.

One such trap is the "I'm always right!" This is the approach of an incorrigible debater who wants to win at any cost in a self-declared dispute. Clinging to trifles, he looks for something to complain about, tries to tease the interlocutor. And always finds! If you want to be "always right", it is relatively easy to find in any narrative unimportant details that can be "corrected" and that you can point to.

A few secrets of how to keep up a conversation

Not all people are equally good at holding a conversation about carbon fiber, the latest scientific research, fashion trends and cool PC games. It is impossible to be an expert in all areas. But it is enough to follow simple tips to keep any conversation going.

Feel free to admit your ignorance. The phrase "I don't know" can sound different. Do not be aggressive when it comes to unfamiliar topics. Focus on the capabilities of your interlocutor “Are you good at this? So interesting! Tell me more. " You will gain new knowledge, and the interlocutor will feel interest in his person and skills.
If you don't understand or hear, ask again. It is silly to answer "Yes" if you do not know what was just discussed. You can easily fix the problem. Instead of apologizing for inattention, ask, “I'm not sure I know this for sure. And what do you think?" or "I'd like to hear another opinion."
Feedback. The answers of your interlocutor should not only be heard, but also answered. You can get by with the banal “this is interesting” or ask additional questions.
Read books, follow the news, develop yourself. No matter how interesting your interlocutor may be, it is difficult to maintain communication if you are little erudite. With a lack of time, you can turn to reviews on the Internet, reviews, opinions of others.
Studying information. This is not a contradiction to the above. Surface information is useful to know. But if you know the interests of a person and want to establish communication, then you should study the topic closely, promising to trusted sources.

If you notice that you have serious communication problems, exercise at home. Talk in front of a mirror, watch your facial expressions. In case you have a date, you can practice on a close friend who will create both comfortable and unpleasant situations. This way you can plan your response.

What advice psychologists give

What advice psychologists give for communication

We have to communicate throughout our lives. At the same time, situations can be different: acquaintance, flirting, interview, meeting, meeting classmates, a date. And everywhere our behavior and conversation can tell a lot to others. Psychologists give the following tips on how to improve communication.

Smile. An open posture and a smile is a subconscious attraction to others. Smiling evokes feelings of confidence and joy.
Use the person's name more often. A proper name is a pleasant word for any person. In a conversation, you should address the person directly and more often. If you don't know if he likes abbreviations and diminutives, don't use them.
Speak clearly and not loudly. People will instinctively listen to you if the timbre of your voice is even, without shouting. Emotions must be expressed, but without eccentricity.
Talking with a chair. This is an effective technique that psychology advises. Carry on daily conversations with inanimate objects or pets. Think of potential responses and respond to them.
Another technique called “Praise”. Try all day long to compliment everyone you talk to. You will notice that these people will smile at you, reciprocate.

Practice your speaking skills. Like any science, it requires patience and development. It just seems to us that conversation is so ordinary and familiar. In fact, you need to understand how the interlocutors react to us.

The best books for developing communication skills

Name	Rating	Features
“Communication skills. How to get along with anyone”, Paul McGee	4.1	The author paints common mistakes, gives detailed cases and examples of live communication
“How to overcome shyness”, Philip Zimbardo	4.3	From author of the famous Stanford Prison Experiment. To overcome natural shyness, the book offers specific tips and actions.
How to Talk to Anyone by Mark Rhodes	4.7	Describes how to avoid stress when talking. The book is suitable for anyone who wants to communicate easier and faster to make acquaintances.
Turning on the Charm the Secret Service Method by Jack Schafer and Marvin Carlins	4.5	A book from a real-life ex-FBI agent that reveals the small and simple secrets of behavioral science.
How to Talk to Assholes by Mark Goulston	4.3	The book is suitable for those who find it difficult to maintain emotional balance during communication.
“I can hear you through. Effective Negotiation Technique, Mark Goulston	4.8	Auto gives clear instructions for negotiating. The book will teach you to avoid conflicts and achieve your own in a conversation.
“The power of persuasion. The art of influencing people”, James Borg	4.3	The book is written simply, accessible with clear examples and reasoning.

You may be interested

Another selection of books for developing communication skills

We have collected a few more frequently asked questions. We are sure you will be interested!

Why are bags not placed on the floor?

Why bags are not placed on the floor

Firstly, it is not hygienic. A bag is a hand accessory, left on the floor, and then picking it up again, we get a lot of dirt and germs. According to signs, a bag on the floor means for its owner to be left without money.

What does a kiss on the forehead mean

There is an opinion that a kiss on the forehead means that the partner is not ready for a serious relationship. But psychologists say otherwise. Such a manifestation of feelings recognizes a strong, sacred connection. For young partners, this is a sign of a desire to kiss, but a fear of being rejected.

An example of a letter to a loved one

In today's world, we are used to communicating using short messages. But a full-fledged letter that tells about feelings will definitely not go unnoticed. It is not worth rewriting Tatyana's letter to Onegin, and it is unlikely that modern young people will understand it. We offer this version of the message:

“My dearest person,
I am writing to you to say:
I often say that I love you. But do you understand what that means? I want to tell you straight.
I like the way you wrinkle your nose when you smile; love the way you laugh at my stupid jokes. I love watching your favorite pancakes taste appetizing. Even when you're angry, I love looking at your beautiful, bright eyes.
I like absolutely everything about you. You don't even know how much beauty you have.
All your "cockroaches" in my head seem incomparable to me, because they are part of you. I love you everything and always. I love the person I met and the person you have become. And I believe that I will love you even more.”

How to apologize to your partner

Everyone makes mistakes. You can accidentally offend a partner, and then write an apology for a long time. But it is better to prove everything by actions. What can be done:

Send flowers, a nice gift and an apology card by courier. No matter how trite it may sound, but a smile will definitely appear on the girl’s face.
Have a spontaneous mix. Persuade close friends to persuade a person to take a walk and appear in an unexpected place with a gift and a prepared speech.
Write a nice letter. The offended person may not want to communicate in person, and the letter will probably be read.
Take the step that was abandoned. If your significant other has always wanted to go skydiving and you didn't, it's time to make it clear that you're willing to compromise.

But most importantly, sincerely communicate your understanding of your guilt. Explain that you know how hurt your partner is right now.

What guys like in girls

A girl is valued for her inaccessibility, and a guy for perfect “victories”. In addition, guys pay attention to a sense of humor and the ability to have a lively conversation. If a young lady shows enough interest in the life of a young man, then he will definitely note this. It's enough just to laugh at his jokes, remember his interests and ask him animatedly about it. And now mutual interest will grow into something more. And, of course, the girl must be well-groomed. No matter how chic the inner world is, the appearance must match.

How to behave on a first date

The basic rule is restraint and caution.

Learn more

Hot topics to talk about with friends

168 Questions to Ask Friends That Are Fun, Personal, and Deep

55 Interesting Topics To Talk About With Friends, Partners, Or Family

Love

Psychology

Metaphysics

Belief Systems

Morality And Ethics

Interesting topics for conversation with anyone, anywhere

Interesting topics for conversation with a girl, boyfriend, friends and pen

Basic communication rules

General topics for talking to men and women

How do you behave when you have nothing to say?

Video: how to avoid awkward pauses in conversations?

Interesting topics to talk to anyone

Talk about work/school

Talk about hobbies

Top intelligent conversation topics

Travel

Entertainment

Talk about food, cooking

Talking about the past

Something else to talk about

Observations

Plans for the future

Topics to talk to your boyfriend

Universal topics for communication in a team

Popular topics of conversation with friends

What not to talk about

A few secrets of how to keep up a conversation

What advice psychologists give

The best books for developing communication skills

You may be interested

Why are bags not placed on the floor?

What does a kiss on the forehead mean

An example of a letter to a loved one

How to apologize to your partner

What guys like in girls

How to behave on a first date