Intellectual conversation starter

84 Intellectual, Deep Conversation Starters & Topics to Bond with Anyone

Does it seem like having a deep conversation is a lost art these days? It sure does to a lot of people. If you want to inject some more life into your conversations but aren’t quite sure how, then you need our deep conversation starters.

We’ve all been there. You meet someone for the first time, or perhaps you’re on a date, and you really can’t think of anything to say. You’re wracking your brain for deep conversation starters so that your convo doesn’t fall flat, but you end up coming short of anything interesting to bring up. Your mind goes blank. [Read: 25 great conversations starters for when you’re drawing a blank]

The silence seems to go on forever. You’re willing them to come up with something scintillating to talk about, but they seem to be just as out of ideas as you. [Read: Tongue-tied? Here are 35 brilliant conversation topics]

Awkward, right?

Being able to hold a conversation is such an important skill set. Awkward silences will never do anything good for you. But as with any skill, it’s something you have to practice at or learn more about before you can get any good. That just means you’ll have to continuously make an effort to have great topics ready to go. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with the opposite sex].

So, don’t accept any more awkward silences. No more wishing someone would walk in and save the situation. What can you do? 

You can use this list of deep conversation starters, which you can fall back on at any time, and boom! Instant deep and meaningful conversation to impress anyone. [Read: 40 funny conversation starters to make people laugh]

Why should we have deep conversations?

Having deep conversations isn’t about being smart, nor is it about being pretentious. It is actually about happiness. 

Deep conversations revolve around substantial topics. These things can be current events, philosophy, and more. [Read: Meaningful topics that ignite a deep conversation]. You don’t need to be a genius, on the honor roll, or even book-smart to discuss these things. But, studies have shown that having these deep conversations actually makes you happier. 

Most conversations are characterized as small talk or substantial. But on average, more than half of us are talking about TV shows or the weather, topics that are considered ‘small talk,’ over deeper topics. But when we fill those talks with deeper topics like the character growth of a TV character, not the steamy make-out session, we tend to be happier. How about that? [Read: Psychology Today | Why we need to have deeper conversations]

Another reason to have deep discussions is that they can help you connect with people.

There’s nothing better than really connecting with people. Not only do you get to know people on a much deeper level, but you’ll often learn more about yourself in the process.

Connecting with others is such an important part of socialising, too. Those of us who feel lonely often don’t have the ability to really feel like we’re a part of something.  [Read: Steps for emotionally connecting with someone]

When you talk to people about meaningful things, they become meaningful to you. Having those connections can also make your life a lot better and happier.

How to start a deep conversation

As you probably know, some people are just more naturally deep thinkers than others. So, the first thing you should do is try to assess the other person’s interest in having and holding a deep conversation.

If someone only talks about themselves or the same topics over and over, then they might need a little push to talk about something more interesting. But don’t worry, it can be done. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

You should start out slowly and with more simple topics. For example, if you ask them something like what they would do if they won the lottery, that would get them excited *as it would for anyone*. That way, you won’t scare them off.

If you start out with something too heavy, like their political affiliations, the meaning of life, or the origins of the universe, they might give you a blank look and just mentally close down. So, start it out with fun and light questions. 

You can even make the fun and light questions deeper as the conversation goes on.

For example, with the lottery question, you can ask questions about why you think some people go and blow all their money or why they are selfish and only use it on themselves. [Read: 20 funny get-to-know-you questions to bond with anyone instantly]

You can always take any question deeper. All you need to do is keep asking probing questions to get them thinking about other aspects of the deep conversation/question at hand.

How to make deep conversations less intimidating

You might think it’s a lot of fun to have a deep conversation, but not everyone feels that way. Some people feel intimidated by it, especially if they’re not used to thinking about anything on their own.

But you can use these deep conversation starters with anyone as long as you don’t make it intimidating. Here are some ways you can do that. [Read: Conversation games – 15 best talking games for fun and lots of laughs]


Make it fun

Because some people don’t like digging deep into their minds to think about anything complex, you will have to make it fun for most people. Don’t start with anything too deep. Make sure it’s a fun topic that anyone would like to think about and talk about. 

2. Try using pop culture as your jumping-off point

Instead of directly asking about their values, you can try to use anything in pop culture to use as your jumping-off point for deep conversations. 

When someone is asked about who they are as a person, they can become defensive. But if they are asked what they think about a crazy celebrity, they will be much more eager to share their opinions. [Read: Stop Googling – 16 pop culture sex terms you need to know by now]

3. Start with light questions

As you have guessed by now, you want to keep it as light as you can, especially in the beginning.

When you do this, you can gauge their reception to the questions and then adjust the conversation accordingly. If they seem really interested in the conversation, then you can slowly make the questions deeper and deeper as you go on.

Deep conversation starters

Whether you want to find deeper meanings in your conversations or want to dive deep into some exciting thoughts, there are a lot of deep conversation topics you can use.

Of course, the type of question you ask depends on the person you’re speaking to.

If it’s your boss, it’s probably not the best idea to ask them to tell you about their most embarrassing moment; instead, ask them about their goals or something professional. [Read: The 15 highs and lows of dating someone smarter than you]

However, if it’s a crush, you can afford to be a little cheeky. Perhaps ask them one of the more searching questions on the list.

So, here’s a list of deep conversation starters so you no longer have to endure another awkward silence again.

1. Extraterrestrial life and whether or not it exists


 Space programs and if there is a secret space program we don’t know about


 The meaning of life

4. How do you all feel about working the majority of your life?

[Read: 17 ways to be a citizen of the world while living at home]

5. What you’d do if you had almost unlimited financial funds

6. Whether or not you think there will ever be peace on Earth

7. Thoughts and theories on evolution

8. Thoughts on religion and its role in society

9. Highest and lowest points of your lives

10. What you’d do if you were given only one more day to live

11. Things you wish you could accomplish before you die

12. Your biggest fears

13. Values you think everyone should have

[Read: The golden rules for evolving to become a better person]

14. Do we truly show anyone who we really are?

15. Spiritual beliefs

16. Whether or not ghosts and spirits are real

17. Are humans better at destruction or creation?

18. Do you think humans will be the end of the world?


 Do you think human nature is mostly good?

20. What’s the biggest problem with humans?

21. How would you sum up the human species in 3 words?

22. What’s the scariest thing about the human species?

[Read: Sex demons – Historical excuses for deviant sexual behavior]

23. The importance of honor and what it means

24. The ever-escalating changes in generations thanks to technology

25. Whether or not people have a moral obligation to help others

26. The issue of homelessness in advanced societies

27. How much is a year of life worth?

28. Are certain lives more valuable than others?

29. The escalating rate of mental illness and the causes of it

30. What you’d like to be remembered for in death

31. The colonization of other planets

32. What will most likely bring the extinction of life to Earth

33. Crimes you think should be legal

[Read: How to be cultured in an age obsessed with social media]


 How the justice system can be improved

35. The most destructive emotion

36. The most beneficial emotion

37. Your thoughts on working for what you earn

38. The drawbacks of technology to society

39. How much control we really have over our futures

40. What life would look like had electricity never been discovered

41. Your different political affiliations and why you believe what you do

42. Personality types and the advantages and disadvantages of being an extrovert or an introvert

[Read: INTJ relationship – 15 things you need to know to decode them]

43. Trivia – you can incorporate a game like Trivial Pursuit if you want

44. The afterlife – whether you think there is one and what it looks like if there is

45. Reincarnation and whether or not you think you have had past lives before

46. What is your favorite era of history and why? 

47. Conspiracy theories and if you think that any of them are true and why

[Read: Shocking sex cults – Crazy facts that you need to know]


 Analyzing deeper meanings of movies to see if you have the same opinions about it

49. The news – there is always something interesting to talk about in the news, whether it is good or bad

50. Love languages and which one you like to give and receive with

[Read: How to show someone you love them with their love language]

51. Climate change and whether or not you think it’s real and/or damaging to the planet

[Read: How to be more socially conscious]

52. The economy and what you think causes inflation and other factors

53. Different cultural practices around the world and what you would like to try

[Read: Common issues in cross-cultural relationships]

54. Patriarchy, feminism, and the equality between men and women

[Read: Marital traditions – Their not-so-sweet origins and our modern choices]

55. Creation and how you think the Earth, human beings, and other creatures were created

56. When do you think there will be a cure for cancer, and why do you think they haven’t found one yet?


Do you think Bigfoot is just a mythical creature, or do you think people actually have seen one?

58. Why do you think that the rate of autism has skyrocketed in the last few decades?

59. If you could go live on Mars in a colony, would you go? Why or why not?

60. If you caught a family member selling drugs or doing something else illegal, would you turn them in?

61. What is the most dangerous thing you would do for free? What if someone paid you – how much would it take for you to do it?

[Read: How to explain your anxiety to someone you love]

62. If someone cheats on their spouse or significant other, do you think they should be forgiven or not?

63. If $1,000,000 accidentally ended up in your bank account, would you report it to the bank or just keep it?

64. Could you go and live off the grid by yourself with no water, electricity, or other people around? Why or why not? 

65. What are your main goals in life? 

[Read: How to balance your career, social life, and dating life]


If you died today, what regrets would you have about your life? 

[Read: How to not give a fuck: Your guide to giving less fucks and enjoying your life]

67. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy? 

68. Who is your hero, and why? 

69. What is your biggest fear? 

70. If you could go back to your childhood, what advice would you give your younger self? 

71. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? 

[Read: 15 conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]

72. Describe your perfect day

73. Which celebrity did you love when you were younger?

[Read: How to get to know people, open up and make new friends]

74. What do you think about …*news story of the moment*

75. What items are on your bucket list? 

[Read: How to be fearless: Set aside fear and live your life]

76. What is your most cherished memory? 

77. How would you prefer to die? Quickly without warning or slowly over time?


If a cure for cancer was found, but it would kill 10% of the people who took the treatment, would you want it released to the public?

79. Do you believe in euthanasia? Why or why not?

80. If you had a time machine, what part of history would you go back to and why? What if you couldn’t come back? Would you still go?

[Read: Funny conversation starters – 40 lines to instantly fit right in]

81. Would you allow a surgeon to amputate your little toe if someone gave you $1,000,000? If not, is there any amount of money you would take?

82. Would you rather be blind, deaf, or completely paralyzed?

83. What do you think the world’s countries could do to achieve world peace?

84. To what extent is knowledge power, and to what extent is truth power? And what’s the difference?

Do’s and don’ts for deep conversation starters

If you can’t have a conversation the right way, no topic will save you. These are just a few tips that can help you learn to read the room and engage in the discussion, so you leave a positive impact.


1. Listen intently

You really can’t have a decent conversation unless both people are listening. The whole point of a discussion is to be able to comment on what they said.

How can you do that if you’re thinking about what you’re going to do when you get home? [Read: Ways to be a much better listener]

None of these topics will thrive unless you’re able to listen to what they’re saying about them. So instead of just nodding along as if you’re listening, actually listen. Hear what they have to say and digest it.

2. Understand where they’re coming from

One of the best ways to have a great discussion with these deep conversation starters is to put yourself in their shoes. Even if you don’t get why they feel the way they do, try looking at it from their perspective.

Everyone has different trains of thought when it comes to complex issues. Their upbringing or even current lifestyle can impact how they feel about different topics. [Read: Ways to be less critical and more open]

You really have to make an effort to understand so you can reply accordingly.

3. Get multiple people involved

Don’t just grab one person and hide away in a corner while talking to them. These topics may be meaningful, but they’ll be even more valuable if you have multiple people discussing them.

So make sure multiple people get involved with it. Pull a few people in and ask for their opinions as they walk by.

They’ll stick around, and before you know it, the entire room will be talking about the topic you brought up. [Read: 100 juicy, sexual questions to ask friends and have a fun, naughty time]


1. Interrupt

This has a lot to do with being a good listener in general. You can’t just stop someone from getting their point across. People get passionate about meaningful topics, and you may get worked up.

You have to remember to let people finish their point before you go ahead with yours. Let them get it all out, or you’ll just end up interrupting each other, and nothing will be accomplished.

2. Argue

Instead, you can just politely disagree.  [Read: How to resolve conflict – 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

These are pretty deep topics. You’ll get into some heated discussions if you don’t agree about something, but you can’t just start fighting with people. Some of the best conversations are disagreements.

The difference is when both people know how to converse while disagreeing. It’s all about keeping your mouth shut until it’s your turn and really taking in what they have to say. Then come back with your point of view with some details to back it up.

3. Have a superior attitude

The only way that having deep conversations will be enjoyable is if neither of you thinks your position is better than the others. Thinking that you know everything or that your opinion is better than someone else’s is the wrong attitude to have.

Remember, this is supposed to be a fun way of getting to know people better. It’s not a competition or battle of wills. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so just embrace your differences.

[Read: Easy ways to avoid a first impression catastrophe]

Being able to pull out some deep conversation starters can turn a stale night into something to remember. These are some ideas to keep in mind the next time you find a discussion falling flat.

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How to Make Intellectual Conversation (+ 10 Best Topics)

“How can I have more intellectual conversations? I want to discuss interesting topics and not end up in shallow small talk”

– Nisha

This is a great question. Let’s look at how you can get into more deep, intelligent conversation topics.

1. Know that you can’t have intellectual conversations with everyone

Some people just aren’t interested in intellectual conversations. Only some of those you come across in life will be.

This guide is about how to figure out who is, and get past the shallow small talk with them so you can transition into more intellectual topics.

I’ll also talk about where to find these people in the first place.

Let’s get to it!

2. Read books and watch documentaries about intellectual topics

To be able to engage in intellectual topics, it helps to have some food for thought. Search Netflix for “critically acclaimed documentaries” or see what books resonate with you.

3. Join a philosophy group

There are plenty of philosophy groups on Look the prerequisites: Often it’s just reading a chapter in a book, and at other times, there are no prerequisites and there will only be discussions about timeless subjects. Philosophy groups are great for having intellectual conversations but also for practicing your ability to have those conversations in other areas of life.

4. Mention things that interest you and see what resonates with people

How do you take a conversation from small talk to something more meaningful? During small talk, you learn what someone might be interested in. Let’s say that you talk to someone who…


  1. Studied history
  2. Works as a book editor
  3. Likes to read on their free-time

…you can match that with your interests. Read any author you think they might like? Any history events you are interested in?

Bring up things that you assume the person might be interested in based on their answers.

Some things stick (the person becomes engaged and talkative) or it doesn’t stick (the person doesn’t react)

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In the case of the book editor, I would do the following to move toward interesting conversation:

  • I would mention the book Sapiens I read a summary of the other day, and see if they’ve read it
  • I would ask what books they’re reading, to see if I’ve read any of them
  • I’d ask what kind of history they’re the most interested in, and see if we have an overlap of interests there
  • I’d ask more about their job as a book editor to figure out what genre they’re in.

Another example. Let’s say that someone…

  1. Studied computer science
  2. Works as a programmer
  3. Likes to game on their free time

I don’t know how to code and I don’t game. But I can make assumptions about other things someone who’s interested in code might also be into.


Then this is what I’d do:

  • I’m fascinated by predictions about the future, so I’d ask how they think technology will change the world the coming years
  • I’d talk about self-driving cars and autonomous robots
  • I’d see if they’re interested in the concept of the singularity.

See how you can make assumptions about what someone might be interested in, even if you DON’T have the same interests at first glance?

5. Ask the right questions to figure out what someone is interested in

Intellectual conversations start with asking the right questions.

You want to ask questions that help you figure out what someone might be interested in. When you do, you can find mutual interests to make deeper, more substantial and intellectual conversation.


It’s hard to have meaningful conversations before you’ve found your mutual interests.

Here are three universal questions to figure out mutual interests:

  • What do/did you study?
  • What do you do?
  • How do you spend your free time?*

These questions can help you figure out what someone might be interested in. (Don’t fire these questions off in a row, but ask them when it feels natural.)

*The most powerful question here is number 3: What they do in their spare time. It represents people’s interests better than their jobs and studies, but all 3 help paint a picture.

6. Know where to find people who share your interests

Go to and look for groups that you are interested in. You’re more likely to meet people who like intellectual conversations at certain meetups: Philosophy groups, chess clubs, history clubs, politics clubs.


Find people that share your interests. They’re also likely to share your personality.

7. Don’t write off people too soon

Go into conversations with an open mind.

I don’t know how many friendships I’ve missed out on because I wrote the person off too soon.

Not everyone wants to make intelligent conversation. But you need to scout for similarities thoroughly before you can ever know.

I’ve been surprised many times by the amazing conversations I’ve had with people who I’d first written off. After I asked some probing questions, it turned out that we had a lot of interesting topics to talk about.


8. Dare to open up about yourself to make others do the same

Dare to share small bits and pieces about your own life and interests. Mention a movie you liked, a book you read or some event you went to. That helps people get to know you and they become more likely to start sharing about themselves.

For others to feel comfortable opening up to you about what they’re interested in, you want to share a little bit about yourself between your questions.

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Many who may be viewed as being boring aren’t actually boring. They just don’t know how to open up during conversations.

9. Don’t stick to an agenda

At the beginning of this article, I talked about how to move the conversation toward more intellectual topics.


Some tricks can be needed to get past the small talk, read more here about the details of starting a conversation. At the same time, you need to be adaptable and move with the conversation.

There is no need to research an extensive topic prior to talking about it and try to stick to it. This isn’t school, and you aren’t giving a dissertation on the subject.

A conversation is something that takes place between two or more people and no single person is solely responsible for the direction it takes. If someone tries to steer it, it can feel less engaging to others.


10. Be OK with being a student

If the conversation goes somewhere that feels uncomfortable to you, ask yourself why. Often, we get uncomfortable when we end up on a topic we don’t know much about and try to steer the conversation back into what we master.

Dare to keep going. Be open with what you don’t know, and ask sincere questions to learn about it. Be OK with letting someone explain to you a topic you don’t know anything about. It’s fine to mention that you don’t know much about the topic.

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Later in the conversation, you might end up talking about something you’re knowledgeable about.

11. Be on the lookout for the deeper layers of a conversation

If your conversation revolves around the take-out food you ordered after your boyfriend broke up with you, ask yourself this, why are you talking about the food?


Use critical thinking to navigate towards the heart of the matter. In this example, the heart is clearly the breakup.

From there you can share your more personal thoughts like:

  • What happens to a person (you) after a breakup?
  • When does it become a growing experience?
  • What does it mean to be single now?

The deeper layers are often the more interesting ones.

12. Ask “go deeper”- questions

By being an active listener, you can pick up on when people say something that clearly has a deeper meaning within it, and gravitate your questions towards that topic.

Some questions that often take conversations to the next level are:

  • Why do you think that is?
  • How does that make you feel?
  • How do you mean when you say [what they said]?

Don’t be afraid to pinpoint exactly what it was you heard in the conversation that struck you and asks the person to elaborate on it. Most of us appreciate being able to sometimes talk about ourselves. If you try to circle back to something more personal, it will often be met with a positive reaction. Gauge the reaction. If the person it switching topic, it could be that they aren’t in the mood to talk about themselves.


Read more: How to have deep and meaningful conversations.

13. Switch up facts and opinions with thoughts and feelings

The most interesting conversations tend to take place when we discuss a topic we’re interested in and share our own feelings about it. Feelings aren’t opinions. Opinions are easy to share. Feelings stem from our personal stories. That touch of personality adds layers to the facts and opinions.

For example, if you are fascinated by American politics, rather than only talking about the latest news update you could intertwine the fact, your opinion on the fact, and explain why you feel that way.

This gives your conversation partner more information to pull from and move with as your time together unfolds.


14. Explain rather than insisting

When we insist on an experience we had or the feelings we felt because of it, we are limiting the way a conversation can unfold. While it’s certainly fine to say, “The traffic today was awful. I was mad!” It is a better conversation if you explain why you were mad. For example, “I’ve had so much on my mind lately, sitting in traffic was an angering experience. I felt like I was stewing with my thoughts.”


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This sentence allows the person your speaking with to ask to follow up questions. They are also going to be interested because there is a bit of you in there. We don’t want to hear about traffic any more than we have to. But when the traffic story entails emotions that are explained, it opens up for intellectual analysis.

15. Don’t only try to make intellectual conversation

Rewarding friendships aren’t about only intellectual conversations or only shallow small talk. They contain a mix. Practice both. It’s fine to make meaningless small talk at times. A few minutes later, you may have a deep conversation, and a few minutes later again, you may be joking. This ability to move between the two can make the relationship more dynamic and fulfill more of our social needs.


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Interesting topics for conversation with anyone, anywhere

Hello everyone!

Communication can come to a standstill regardless of who your interlocutor is: a new acquaintance or a person with whom you have known each other for a hundred years. In order not to stretch awkward pauses, it would be good to always have interesting topics for conversation at hand.

We have prepared for you a large list of topics and tips for a variety of occasions. Don't forget to save the article so you don't lose it!

Suggestions for interesting conversations

Before we go directly to the topics, we would like to dwell on important nuances that will help avoid communication mistakes:

  1. "no or yes".
  2. If you come to a tête-à-tête meeting, do not turn the dialogue into an interrogation with passion. Do not bombard the person with questions as if he came for an interview. When deciding to touch on a particular topic, be sure to tell similar information about yourself. Usually people continue to speak out of inertia and so do not feel discomfort. But pulling the blanket over yourself, forcing you to listen only to your person, is also not worth it. Stick to the golden mean. nine0018
  3. Listen carefully, ask clarifying questions. This is how you show interest and show respect.
  4. Don't give unsolicited advice, especially to strangers. Even if you think the person needs it. This is extremely insensitive.
  5. Avoid complaining and pitting anyone. The negative is repulsive.
  6. Do not be afraid of silence. There can be natural pauses in any conversation. Long conversations are also exhausting. If it is comfortable to talk with a person, then it will be comfortable with him and be silent for a while. At least to finish your salad or finish your cup of coffee, if the circumstances are appropriate. nine0018
Topics to talk about

Each situation has its own topics to talk about, so we have divided this article into several categories. Choose your case and take note of what fits.

On a date

Before a date, the main thing to remember is how important it is to be yourself. Do not choose topics that you are not interested in.

If you do not like art, do not study the work of Claude Monet and speak about the work of Pablo Picasso before the meeting. nine0003

Look for things you can talk about passionately together.

Otherwise, you shouldn't even get upset if communication doesn't work out.

We did not divide the topics into male and female, but put together a universal list of sample questions, on the basis of which you can develop a discussion with both a guy and a girl. Not only will they help keep the conversation going, but they'll also help you get to know the person well enough to form an opinion about them and decide if they're right for you. nine0003

What are some interesting questions for the couple?

We invite you to chat on the following topics:

  1. How was your day, working week?
  2. Talk about what helped you get to know each other. For example, if the meeting took place in a group of friends, ask how long the person has known them. If the acquaintance happened on social networks, ask how often the interlocutor makes friends in this way.
  3. What do you like to do in your free time, what are your hobbies? nine0018
  4. Where are you from?
  5. What childhood memories do you remember the most?
  6. What films do you watch? What was the last time you went to the cinema? What do you recommend to watch from comedies, science fiction and other things?
  7. What places in the city do you visit most often?
  8. Where have you rested in your life and where would you prefer to return again?
  9. How do you feel about sports, art, music?
  10. Do you like to read books? What genres do you prefer? What publications do you remember the most? nine0018
  11. Do you have dreams?
  12. Tell us about your profession, study, work.
  13. How do you feel about alcohol?
  14. Are there bad habits that you struggle with?
  15. How do you like to spend weekends and holidays? Do you prefer a relaxing holiday or an active one?
  16. Do you have any pets?
  17. What would you like to do if you had no restrictions on finances and resources?
  18. Are you a lark or an owl?
  19. nine0017 What do you value most in members of the opposite sex?
  20. What brings you the most joy?
  21. What are you looking for in a relationship? What are your goals?
  22. What do you watch on TV? Who is subscribed to on YouTube? How do you feel about TikTok?
  23. What is your attitude towards loneliness?
  24. Do you have childhood friends with whom you still keep in touch?
  25. What type of personality do you consider yourself: extroverts or introverts? nine0018
  26. How do you feel about self-knowledge, meditation, yoga and other practices?
  27. What event are you looking forward to? This could be, for example, a festival, a concert by your favorite band, a friend's birthday, a relative's wedding, etc.

These are just examples of some topics.

You can create your own list based on your own interests and preferences.

For example, if you like Italian cuisine, tell us about the most interesting dishes and ask your interlocutor what his culinary preferences are. nine0003

In the company of friends

Silence rarely hangs in a noisy company, but you can still make the meeting even more exciting and exciting. And there are countless topics for friendly conversations.

Here are the random options:

  1. If you were Neo in The Matrix, which pill would you choose: blue or red?
  2. What superpower would you like to have and why?
  3. Would you rather be the richest person or the smartest? nine0018
  4. You can discuss some interesting life hacks and suggest trying them.
  5. New gadgets, mobile applications, news from the world of technology.
  6. How do you feel about esotericism, predictions, horoscopes? Have you had any experience with similar practices?
  7. Discussions on adrenaline, extreme sports, climbing, camping, etc.
  8. Attitude towards various conspiracy theories. For example, the world is ruled by aliens, special services, is mass chipping possible, who killed Kennedy, etc.
  9. Do you believe in ghosts, afterlife?
  10. What's the best advice you've ever been given?
  11. What would you spend money on if you won a very large amount?
  12. New movies, bloopers, favorite directors, etc.
  13. Political news.
  14. Cool memes from the Internet.
  15. What do you think about gender equality, feminism and other movements.
  16. Which place of residence would you prefer: city or countryside, coastal resort or mountains, house or apartment, metropolis or province? nine0018
  17. Would you agree to explore a new planet in the event of an impending apocalypse?
  18. If you had a time machine, where would you go?
  19. How long could you live without communication and amenities?
  20. What was the first thing you felt and did if you woke up in an unfamiliar place?

Note! One of the most productive ways to spend time with friends is to organize board games. So you will avoid silence, and stretch your brain. nine0010

With strangers

In the company of strangers, topics for communication should be chosen carefully so as not to stumble upon subjects of heated disagreement.

Here are the most neutral questions that can be used for conversation:

  1. What do you do, what is your occupation?
  2. Where did you study and why exactly there?
  3. Do you have a hobby?
  4. How do you prefer to relax, spend holidays, relax after a working day? nine0018
  5. Where did you spend your childhood, where are you from? How did you get to this city?
  6. You can discuss the most popular classic questions. For example, talk about the weather, nature and housing and communal services problems.
  7. If friends introduced you, ask how long they have known each other and what connects them.

As you ask these questions, always remember to be sure to say the same about yourself.

In a conversation with a stranger, do not touch on “slippery” topics . It is undesirable to talk about religion, personal life, political views, finances, health.

Pay attention to the other person's reaction to certain phrases or topics. So you can understand what he is interested in, and what is better not to talk about. In addition, pay attention to how willingly the stranger communicates and whether you are too intrusive.

It may turn out that you are looking for topics to discuss in vain.

For heartfelt conversation

As a rule, topics for spiritual conversations are found by themselves. The direction will depend on who is in front of you: a close friend or a friend, a loved one, a parent, etc.

The simplest topics will be everyday life, family, relationships with relatives, colleagues, financial issues, health.

If a person is really close, then the range of topics that can be touched upon expands significantly.

You can discuss sex with your partner or spouse. Ask what suits you, what you would like to bring, what fantasies to try to realize. nine0003

Here is a list of universal topics that are suitable for heart-to-heart conversations:

  1. Childhood, youthful, student memories. This is an inexhaustible topic, because everyone will find funny, cute, sad, interesting stories from the past in their memory.
  2. Dreams of a person: what he dreamed about in childhood, what he dreams about now.
  3. Friendship: is it possible between a man and a woman, how does the interlocutor look at communication with former partners, etc.
  4. nine0017 Esoteric, unknown. As a rule, in large companies, rarely does anyone admit that they believe in ghosts or have ever seen something unusual, because no one wants to be ridiculed. But behind a sincere conversation, such secrets are easier to entrust.
  5. Children: attitude towards children, large families, childfree.
  6. Intimate Such issues can be discussed not only between partners, but also between two friends. What is acceptable and what is not. You can share some funny cases from the past. But for this it is necessary that the interlocutor be really congenial and open enough for such topics. nine0018

Intimate conversations are best conducted in the evening over a cup of aromatic tea or wine to create a special intimate atmosphere.

List of deep philosophical questions

If you want something more intellectual and serious, you can discuss the following questions:

  1. Are we alone in the universe?
  2. When will people be free to fly into space? Is it necessary?
  3. What will happen to our planet if all people disappear? How quickly and to what extent will structures, nature, wildlife be changed? nine0018
  4. What books have had the greatest impact on modern civilization? If you want to show off your intellect, you can, for example, compare the Bible, the Koran, the Torah and other religious works, or share your opinion about literary classics.
  5. What events of world history were the most striking and significant? You can discuss the great commanders, the overthrow of empires, the conquest of new lands, etc.
  6. Medical novelties, the latest news from the world of pharmacological technologies, medieval and modern methods of treatment. nine0018
  7. The theme of immortality. Would you like to live forever, would you agree to cryogenic freezing for 200 years?
  8. If you could choose an era in which to live, what would it be?
  9. What would heaven and hell look like if you invented them?
  10. Is there a destiny? If so, how then freedom of choice?
  11. What is the meaning of life?
  12. Where did self-esteem come from if man evolved from apes?
  13. Will religion as an institution last forever or will it ever become obsolete? nine0018
  14. How would the world change if life expectancy increased to 500 years?
  15. How to live life to the fullest?
  16. Do animals have a soul and how does it differ from a human one?
  17. Is poverty inevitable?
  18. Do weapons protect or destroy?
  19. Why are the dead more respected than the living?
  20. How relevant is the institution of marriage and family in the modern world?
  21. If we learn from mistakes, why are we so afraid of them? nine0018

Such topics can be discussed in company with friends, in correspondence with a new acquaintance, in the family circle, with a beloved man (woman), even with teenage children.

You can come up with your own questions and google them first, and then show off your knowledge and thoughts in the company.

Married couple

Married life is often engulfed in routine, and over the years it is more and more difficult to find topics for communication that have not yet been ridden.

If, apart from everyday life and children, you have not talked about anything for a long time, here is an approximate list of topical topics and questions that will not only dilute the family evening, but also help you get closer:

  1. What are the most joyful or funny moments in your life (not necessarily joint) can you remember?
  2. Plan your vacation and discuss the necessary details.
  3. Rate how the two of you have changed since you met and why.
  4. What was the most difficult event in your married life for each of you? nine0018
  5. What annoys you the most at work?
  6. What brings joy and what brings sorrow?
  7. When did you first feel like an adult?
  8. What details would you change about your own appearance?
  9. How do you see your old age?
  10. What act, from your point of view, was stupid or wrong, do you regret the most?
  11. How did you imagine your life when you were little?
  12. What dreams had to be abandoned and is there a chance to fulfill them now? nine0018
  13. What skill would you like to acquire, what to learn?

This is only a modest part of everything that you can discuss with your soulmate. You can easily choose any topic from the section of philosophical questions or for a sincere conversation. Family psychologists also recommend sharing secrets.

You can play a game: one spouse asks any 5 questions, and the second must honestly answer them.

It would also be very good to remember what you talked about in the first days and weeks of your acquaintance. This will help to nostalgic and refresh the senses. nine0003

How to be a good conversationalist

In conclusion, here are some generally accepted rules of communication:

  1. If the interlocutor is talking, do not interrupt with questions, let him finish his thought. Perhaps you have found a topic that is interesting for a person and new subjects for discussion will naturally be born from it. The conversation should not be forced. The key to good dialogue is ease.
  2. Call your interlocutor by name. This helps to establish trust and sympathy. nine0018
  3. Do not use obscene language, jargon, parasitic words in company with unfamiliar people.
  4. Show respect even if you disagree with something said.
  5. Keep your distance. Not all people like it when someone breaks into their personal space.
  6. Avoid distractions while talking on your smartphone. This is not appropriate.

We also recommend that you check out our other publications:

  1. How to learn to learn
  2. How to learn to control your emotions and feelings
  3. How to keep up a conversation
  4. How to learn to say NO
  5. Where to find motivation and how to motivate yourself: effective methods and pitfalls
  6. How to learn to remember better: mnemonics
  7. How to deal with stress: useful techniques
  8. How to ask the right questions

We have sorted out the best topics for conversation. Use them as a hint, not as a guide to action. It is not necessary, for example, to go on a date with a whole list of the above questions and strive by all means to ask them all. nine0003

And to become an interesting interlocutor, you need to read a lot of fiction, news, documentary research, historical and geographical facts, self-development sources, etc. Then there will definitely not be any difficulties and confusion in front of the interlocutor.

We wish you exciting conversations. See you later!

80 questions that will turn a sluggish conversation into an exciting conversation / AdMe


We say thousands of words a day and deal with dozens of interlocutors, but some conversations fly out of our heads a second after they end, while others are remembered for a lifetime. If you are tired of idle chatter or want to talk to a new acquaintance, try asking something unusual, for example, what pill would he choose in Neo's place or what would he say to aliens as a representative of all mankind, and you will not only have a great time, but people will also remember as an engaging conversationalist. nine0003

ADME has compiled a large list of questions that will allow you to get away from the usual circle of topics and learn a lot of interesting things about the people around you, even if you have known them for a long time.

© La La Land / Lionsgate

  • If you were permanently banned from your current job, what new career would you choose?
  • If you had the opportunity to never work again, would you take it?
  • Did you have dreams that you remember for the rest of your life? nine0018
  • What kind of person do you admire?
  • Would you like to be friends with a person like you?
  • What was the most beautiful place you have ever visited?
  • If you could go anywhere on the planet, where would you go?
  • If you could live anywhere, what would it be?
  • If the list of 7 wonders of the world had to be rewritten, what would you include?
  • What exactly should every person experience at least once in their life? nine0018
  • What is your biggest fear in the world?
  • Have you had an event in your life when it seemed that everything was bad, and then it turned out that everything was for the best?
  • Are there films or books that everyone admires, but you can't stand them, and vice versa?
  • Have you ever cried over a book or a movie? What books and films were they?
  • If you could be a character in a book or movie, what would it be?
  • If your life were a movie, what would it be called? nine0018
  • What is the strangest compliment you have ever been given?
  • What is the most embarrassing situation you have ever had in your life?
  • Do you have any "shameful pleasures" that, however, give you a feeling of happiness and fullness of life?
  • If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?
  • If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
  • If you had to eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? nine0010
  • If you had to live the same day over and over again, which day in your life would you choose?
  • Would you like to become immortal?
  • If you had a year to live, how would you spend it?
  • If you could give advice to yourself at 15, what would it be?
  • What is your best childhood memory?
  • If as a child you could put all your favorite things in a time capsule and send them to the future, what items would be there? nine0010
  • How do you envision your ideal day?
  • If you could only own 5 things, what would they be?
  • What is the wisest thought you have ever heard?
  • If you could learn anything in half an hour, what would you learn?
  • If you could stay at a certain age forever, what age would you choose?
  • If you could start your life over again at the age of 10, but still retain all your experience and knowledge, would you do it? nine0018
  • If you could choose an era in which to live, which era would suit you best?
  • If you could see with your own eyes any event from the past, present or future, what would it be?
  • What superpower would you like to have?
  • If you had to choose only one option, would you like your child to grow up smart or kind?
  • If you were offered eternal youth and a lot of money on the condition that you will never have love and a family, would you agree? nine0018
  • Is there some piece of information or a theory that you simply believe because there is no evidence for it? Why?

© Perfetti sconosciuti / Leone Film Group

  • You are having lunch with someone you respect a lot. Suddenly, he starts telling nasty gossip about your close friend and taunting him, not knowing that he is your friend. What are you going to do?
  • You have access to JK Rowling's Twitter for one day. What new information about the magical world would you publish? nine0018
  • You return home from work and see that a clone has taken your place, and your spouse and children have not noticed the substitution. How to prove that their real relative is you?
  • After a divorce, you find a lottery ticket in the apartment that your ex-spouse bought and win $100,000. Share with your ex?
  • If you were Neo in The Matrix, would you like to know the truth or remain ignorant?
  • Imagine that you can become the most beautiful person on the planet, but with every first kiss you will involuntarily hiccup. Agree? nine0010
  • You will receive $1 million if you hide a bunch of keys so that the whole country's police force cannot find them. Where will you hide them?
  • You have been invited to take part in an experiment: you must remain alone for a whole month, without communicating with a single person, in a room where there is only a bed, a toilet, water and food. If you don't give up, get $1 million. Do you agree or not?
  • You found out that your best friend is the same person who robs drivers of expensive cars on the road, taking money and jewelry, and then gives them to children with cancer for treatment. Will you hand him over to the police? nine0018
  • Aliens have taken over Earth. You are a representative of earthlings, and in a conversation they say that they plan to eat 10 million people a year. You categorically object: "It's not fair!" The aliens are surprised: “We don’t understand! Humans eat other living beings! We are a more developed race, for us there is no difference between a man and a cow, why can't we eat you? What arguments will you find to convince them?
  • You are the only surgeon in the hospital. You have just been informed that your relatives died in an accident, the driver was drunk. A minute later, he is brought to the operating room in a serious condition. How will you do it? nine0018
  • Imagine that you could choose to leave the world as it is, or rid it of wars and conflicts, but the internet would also disappear forever. What do you decide?
  • Imagine that there is a magic pill that gives the person who takes it beauty, good luck in all matters and a happy fate. But the day after his 35th birthday, this person will die. Would you take such a pill?
  • The government began to distribute tasty pills to people for free, after taking which a person feels that the world is paradise, he himself is happy, and the people around are the best creatures on Earth. The action of the tablets lasts several hours, there are no side effects, they do not affect health and do not cause addiction. The decision whether to use them or not depends only on the person himself. Would you take pills like other people around? nine0018
  • Your ship has hit an iceberg. The crew and passengers could hardly fit into 2 lifeboats. A storm began, and it became clear that the overloaded boats were about to capsize. To save yourself, you need to push some of the people overboard. You are the captain. How do you do? How do you decide who to donate?
  • You have been offered to freeze your body for 200 years for free at any time you want. Agree?
  • Let us assume that life after death exists. What would hell and heaven look like if you invented them? nine0018

© The Big Bang Theory / Warner Bros. Television

  • If you were famous, what would you be famous for?
  • Would you rather have 3 legs or 3 arms?
  • Would you rather have a cat in the body of a dog or a dog in the body of a cat?
  • Would you rather read minds or see through walls?
  • Would you rather be the richest person in the world or the smartest?
  • Would you rather be able to speak all the languages ​​of the world or be able to talk to animals? nine0018
  • What would you prefer: to be able to read other people's minds or to fly?
  • Would you rather be married to someone who loves you but you don't love him or someone you love unrequitedly?
  • Would you rather look like a 20 year old but feel like an 80 year old or look like an 80 year old but feel like a 20 year old?
  • Would you rather be able to erase your memories or the memories of other people?
  • What would you prefer: to have unearthly beauty or an unsurpassed sense of humor? nine0018
  • Would you rather have a photographic memory or an incredibly high IQ?
  • Which would you prefer: an allergy to chocolate or an allergy to a smartphone?
  • Would you rather never hear music again or lose the ability to read? What will you choose?
  • What would you rather not taste or see the world in black and white?
  • Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?
  • Which would you prefer: a trunk like an elephant or a neck like a giraffe? nine0018
  • Which is worse: losing sight or hearing?
  • Imagine that the genes of an embryo during pregnancy can be changed without side effects.
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