How they treat you

How Someone Treats You Is How They Feel About You. Period.

It's no secret that how he treats you is how he feels about you. At least, in adult life. 

Back in grade school, I used to treat the girls I liked like crap as a way to show them that I liked them.

If he makes you feel like garbage, remember — how he treats you is how he feels about you. 

I know I wasn't the only one because boys are pretty stupid when it comes to affairs of the heart, at least when we're young.

I couldn't tell you where that came from or who decided the whole "kiss the girls and make them cry" thing was something that should even exist outside of a nursery rhyme.

I do know that sometimes, girls went for it, and somehow it stuck.

Of course, that's something best left in the playground of our youth.

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Sadly, as adults we still play games with each other's hearts and the more you fall for it, the more someone will continue to play.  

However, sometimes what seems like "being coy" is actually a sign.

You know a man values you, if he treats you with respect. You know if a guy is treating you badly if he makes you feel bad.

Namecalling, mocking, and flat-out flaking in your relationship are not the signs of a boyfriend who treats you right. That is just unacceptable behavior.

Putting yourself out there for love is no easy journey, but you deserve to be treated like the queen that you are. 

If a man treats you poorly, chances are he thinks poorly

of you. It's not an issue of playing hard to get or wanting to keep you on a leash — if they don't treat you well, they simply don't like you — or even worse, they don't respect you.

Ask any relationship expert and one of the first things they'll tell you is that there's nothing more important in a relationship than communication. If you want to find out how things are going, the hope is that there's enough maturity in the relationship to be able to have that conversation without devolving into silence or shouting.

"How someone treats you a sign that points to something deeper — how they feel about themselves. It's inevitable that we may take it personally when we hear a comment or critique about ourselves. Recognise that others can observe and express their opinion, so focus on building a two-way relationship instead," says expert Mei Phing Lim.

The reality, however, is that communication exists in layers, so while things can be spoken, the old adage of "actions speak louder than words" is never more true.

Some people just aren't great communicators but if they treat you like a queen, that's exactly how they see you. But the reverse can also (and more often) be true, and it's up to you to recognize the signs and act accordingly.

If he doesn't listen to you, he likely doesn't care. If he talks over you, he believes his opinion is more important than yours. If he's rude to you, he doesn't respect you.

So if and when you finally realize his actions are intricately tied to his feelings, what do you do? Here are three rules you have to follow no matter what:

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Do not ignore it.

If you notice treatment you don't like, don't dig in and hope that it'll blow over. The more you fall back, the more you accept, the more you will receive. It'll get worse if the behavior is allowed to go unchecked.

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2. Don't trade bad treatment for more bad treatment.

Turnabout might be fair play, but it doesn't fix a relationship. While he may treat you the way he feels about you, giving him the same treatment only leads to a silent passive-aggressive war that will only make things worse. And you should be out of the relationship waaaay before that.

3. If you see something, say something.

If you notice some changes or are unhappy with the way he's treating you, be straight up. He might deny it at first, but if you lay it all out on the table and confront him — not just with what he says, but what he does — you'll find out everything you need to make the decision that's best for you.

In the end, people will always tell you everything you need to know; you just need to listen and observe well enough to get the message.

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In addition to broadcasting, Hashim Hathaway also writes for a number of publications and guests on talk radio in a number of markets.

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“Listen To How They Treat You”

/ Anne Dennish

“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Treat people the way they treat you.

Rules to break

Treat people the way they treat you

Have you ever received a metaphorical slap from a person whom you treated with kindness and care? This happens to the majority, and after that there is a natural desire not to associate with such people anymore. I had two elderly neighbors (unfortunately, both of them are long dead). They were friends, and one day Elsie invited Phyllis to her place for dinner. About half an hour before Phyllis arrived, she called a friend and said, "I'm not coming, and don't call me again," and then hung up. By the time I met them, 15 years had passed since that incident, but Elsie never found out what she was guilty of: Phyllis had not spoken to her since.

Poor Elsie was very tormented by this, and it would be quite understandable if, after what happened, she was wary of making new friends. But by nature, Elsie was very friendly and did not allow an unpleasant experience to affect her life. She still remained kind and sympathetic, the neighbors loved her, and Elsie's house was always full of people. When she got old and found it difficult to cope on her own, there were always friends who were ready to help her.

This is a bit like a folk tale, only in fact everything in this story is pure truth. The development of the plot turned out to be quite predictable: Phyllis, a very bilious and difficult lady, managed to quarrel with almost all the neighbors and lost her few friends. She was the only neighbor with whom I did not have a relationship. Like Elsie, I don't know why I didn't like her either.

We all know stories like this. They happen over and over again. If you are kind and help people, you have many friends from whom you get support when you need it. As in the case of Elsie, for all the good that you do to people, it is not always rewarded to you from them, but nevertheless, goodness always comes back from somewhere.

This can be perceived as karma. My son has a friend whose father drives my child to school once a week because we can't do it that day. Sometimes I feel embarrassed that I can’t repay him with something, although the father of a classmate really doesn’t care - he is a generous person and is just happy to help. And I myself allow the child of my friends to stay with us after school from time to time and help him with his lessons, for which I also do not need anything from them in return. I realized that we all help each other, as it were, in a chain, and as long as we are happy to lend a helping hand to someone - not necessarily to the person who helps us - we all create positive karma, and the system works. If you do not have the opportunity to find out who will need your support in the future, just form this karma, and a helping hand will reach out to you when you need it most.

Rule 17

People treat you the way you treat them

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Treat people the way you want them to treat you

The issue of "parents and children" has always been and will be relevant. For centuries, models of behavior in the family, the transfer of rights to power, and so on have been created. Many philosophers, and later psychologists, developed scientific works on this topic. There is no single recipe for the success of an ideal relationship, and at the same time, there are paths that can lead us to the desired result.

In my life, I have heard phrases many times, such as: I am raising a child, it takes a lot of time to raise children, I attend lectures on personal growth and the development of certain qualities in myself, I educate my children, as I was raised in childhood. At times like these, I applaud the people who invented the profession of “personal growth coach.” That is, we are people who need a constant “kick in the ass” to start doing something or find motivation for any thing (going to the gym, starting a relationship, buying a dog), while not averse to just listening, how brilliant we are, how we can turn the whole world upside down at the click of a finger. It turns out that before that, a conditional 10 years of conscious life, a person did nothing to achieve certain results, get an education, become a specialist, and then bam, some “personal growth coach” declares that this person can do everything and people they firmly believe in it. I will say more, they spend a lot of money on the so-called "education of the personality". Bravo! The point is not in this profession, but in the very content of "Education".

What do you mean by the term "Education"? Is it a process or a certain set of words and actions? Personally, for me, this concept is associated with only one word - moralizing. I explain my logical chain: you are a coach or a parent and you have the mission of raising young children, okay. The first thing that comes to mind for many is how should I do this? Bingo! It is necessary to educate and the process has begun from a position of strength, constant corrections, God forbid, screams, prohibitions, punishments. I see the situation from a different angle, "education is a process of transferring experience and knowledge, demonstrating a living example of actions in real time." For example, if a child asks:

-Can I buy ice cream in winter and eat it outside?

There are two options:

1- just say no,

2- outline possible options and further consequences (what will happen if he gets what he wants, what it can lead to). Definitely, given the curiosity of children, this process is very difficult, and at the same time brings a higher result.

In the same way with young football players, coaches show by their personal example how they want to see their players. If we ask the guys not to be late, the coach himself should not do this, and so on. All these habits and experiences are absorbed at a very fast rate, which is why it is worth remembering this thing: in any sport, the foundation is the training (so-called education) of the individual and the development of human qualities, then everything else. In percentage terms, the number of athletes who become outstanding athletes is not so large, but, with a very high probability, society can get decent people. Demonstrating to children a model of behavior in society, we also grow and develop as individuals, improve ourselves. After all, when words diverge from actions, a period of distrust sets in, your principles and position become questionable.

Drawing a red line over the above, I would like to wish that before you learn something, you need to start with yourself, "try on" the declared criteria. If you can match, then the transfer of experience based on them is guaranteed.

P.S: "Treat people the way you want them to treat you."


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