Home » Misc » Who is narcissus

Who is narcissus


Narcissus - World History Encyclopedia

Server Costs Fundraiser 2023

Running a website with millions of readers every month is expensive. Not only do we pay for our servers, but also for related services such as our content delivery network, Google Workspace, email, and much more. We would much rather spend this money on producing more free history content for the world. Thank you for your help!

$1453 / $21000

❤ Donate

Definition

Narcissus

Caravaggio (Public Domain)

Narcissus is a figure from Greek mythology who was so impossibly handsome that he fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Even the lovely nymph Echo could not manage to tempt him from his self-absorption. Narcissus' name lives on as the flower into which he was transformed and as a synonym for those obsessed with their own appearance.

Narcissus & His Reflection

Narcissus was born in Thespiae in Boeotia, the son of Cephissus (the personification of the Boeotian river of the same name) and the nymph Liriope. His mother was warned one day by the seer Teiresias that her son would live a long life as long as 'he never knows himself.' As he reached his teenage years, the handsome youth never found anyone that could pull his heartstrings, indeed, he left in his wake a long trail of distressed and broken-hearted maidens, and one or two young men fell by the wayside too. Then, one day, he chanced to see his own reflection in a pool of water and, thus, discovered the ultimate in unrequited love and fell in love with himself. Naturally, this one-way relationship went nowhere, and Narcissus, unable to draw himself away from the pool, pined away in despair until he finally died of thirst and starvation. Immortality, at least of a kind, was assured, though, when his corpse (or in some versions the blood from his self-inflicted stab wound) turned into the flowers which, thereafter, bore his name.

Remove Ads

Advertisement

Immortality, at least of a kind, was assured, though, when Narcissus' corpse or blood turned into the flowers which, thereafter, bore his name.

Narcissus & Echo

Another version of the myth appears in the work of the Roman writer Ovid. In this telling, Narcissus is as handsome as ever but cruelly refuses the advances of Echo. The lovely nymph, heartbroken, wastes away and dies with only her voice remaining to echo her plight. As a punishment for his neglect, Narcissus is then killed. Another version has Echo punished by Hera because she kept the goddess distracted with stories while the lovers of her husband Zeus, the mountain nymphs, escaped Mt. Olympus without notice. This explains why Echo could only repeat what others said to her. It is Echo in this form that Narcissus comes across one day while hunting deer in the forest. After a useless exchange of repeated words and statements, Echo tries to embrace the youth, but he rejects her and dashes off back home. Echo then pines away in the forest so that her body eventually perishes and only her voice remains.

Narcissus Flowers

Johnathan J. Stegeman (GNU FDL)

Ameinius & Artemis

Other stories which diverge from the original myth have Narcissus, like with the Echo story, play the role of a mean rejector of suitors. One of the youth's most ardent admirers was Ameinius, but Narcissus merely sent him a sword to do away with himself, which he did. On dying, Ameinius cursed the object of his unbound affections and asked the gods to punish him. Artemis responds to the request - perhaps showing a dislike for rival hunters – and compels Narcissus to tragically fall in love with his reflection.

Remove Ads

Advertisement
YouTube Follow us on Youtube!

Narcissus in Art & Culture

Unlike for Greek artists, the Roman version of Narcissus and Echo was a very popular subject in Roman art and is seen in almost 50 wall paintings at Pompeii alone. Renaissance art also took a shine to Narcissus; the story involving light and reflection proved irresistible to Caravaggio, who captured the myth in his celebrated 16th-century CE oil painting. Finally, his name lives on today in psychoanalysis where narcissism refers to the personality disorder of excessive self-admiration and preoccupation with one's appearance.

Did you like this definition?

Editorial Review This article has been reviewed for accuracy, reliability and adherence to academic standards prior to publication.

Bibliography

  • Graves, R. The Greek Myths. Penguin UK, 2011.
  • Hope Moncrieff, A.R. Classical Mythology. Senate, 1996
  • Hornblower, S. The Oxford Classical Dictionary. Oxford University Press, 2012.

Translations

We want people all over the world to learn about history. Help us and translate this definition into another language! So far, we have translated it to: French, Turkish, Portuguese, Spanish

About the Author

Mark Cartwright

Mark is a full-time author, researcher, historian, and editor. Special interests include art, architecture, and discovering the ideas that all civilizations share. He holds an MA in Political Philosophy and is the WHE Publishing Director.

Free for the World, Supported by You

World History Encyclopedia is a non-profit organization. For only $5 per month you can become a member and support our mission to engage people with cultural heritage and to improve history education worldwide.

Become a Member   Donate

Recommended Books

 

License & Copyright

Submitted by Mark Cartwright, published on 20 February 2017. The copyright holder has published this content under the following license: Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike. This license lets others remix, tweak, and build upon this content non-commercially, as long as they credit the author and license their new creations under the identical terms. When republishing on the web a hyperlink back to the original content source URL must be included. Please note that content linked from this page may have different licensing terms.

Narcissus • Facts and Information on the Greek Hero Narcissus

Greek Mythology is a fascinating body of myths, legends, and tales that heavily influenced Greek culture. The tales of gods, goddesses, monsters, heroes, and deities, still play a significant role in even today’s storytelling.

The roots of Greek Mythology can be traced all the way back to 900 B.C. Even in Western civilization, the extensive influence of Greek Mythology cannot be denied. In the tall tales of gods and mortals, some figures stand out more than others. But all are important

Some recognizable names and phrases in English literature derive from Greek Mythology. The name Narcissus, is one, in particular, that has significance. The root of narcissus is “narcissism” — a word that means being vain, selfish, or having an excessive admiration or love for one’s physical appearance. While Narcissus is a Greek tale, the Romans seem to have taken it over and elaborated on it throughout history.

In Greek Mythology, the figure Narcissus was an extremely handsome young man who fell in love with his own reflection. He was so self-absorbed that nothing mattered to him more than his looks. He was just one of many tragic figures in the realm of Greek Mythology. There is the telling of the story by the Roman writer Ovid and one told by Covid. While the stories have variations, the key component of Narcissus’ vanity remains a constant.

 

How Narcissus’ Reflection Influenced Him

The handsome Narcissus was born in Thespiae to Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope. The seer Teiresias told Liriope that Narcissus would “live a long life as long as he never recognizes himself.” By the time Narcissus was 16, he had many admirers.

At the time Narcissus’ mother didn’t know what that meant. As hard as many of the young maidens tried, they could never get Narcissus to show any interest. The fact of the matter is, Narcissus never thought there was a man or woman alive whose looks rivaled his.

 

The Greek Version of Narcissus

This story of Narcissus diverges from Ovid’s original version in that a male suitor, Aminias, replaces Echo. In this version, Narcissus cruelly rejects Arminius but also gives him a sword to kill himself. Before he dies by the sword, Arminias asks the gods to curse Narcissus and make an example of him. The god Artemis responds to give Narcissus a lesson for the pain he had inflicted upon Aminias.

While walking along the banks of the Stypian River, Narcissus stops for water and sees his reflection. He immediately becomes entranced and falls in love. Unable to withdraw himself from his reflection, he dies from thirst and hunger. According to the myth, Narcissus is living in the Underworld admiring the black water of the River Styx.

 

The Roman Version Of Narcissus

Narcissus had many suitors. One was a maiden named Echo who was deeply in love with him. Echo had a strong bond at one time with the Goddess Hera. She fell out of favor with Hera when Hera accused her of providing cover for her husband Zeus’s infidelities. As the story goes, Echo would entertain Hera while Zeus’s suitors would sneak of Mt. Olympus unseen. When she discovered Echo’s betrayal, she put a curse on her.

Hence the name, Echo, she was doomed to only repeat the words of others for the rest of her life. Even after she was cursed, she still continued to pursue Narcissus. When Narcissus found out about the curse that was placed on Echo, he cruelly rejected her.

Echo’s deep love for Narcissus could never be reciprocated. But she would use animals and nature to repeat her echoes to Narcissus. Sad and heartbroken, Echo retreated to a cave where she would remain for the rest of her days. Because she felt angered and betrayed over Narcissus’ rejection, she asked Nemesis, the goddess of vengeance to place a curse on Narcissus. As part of the curse, Narcissus would fall in love with his own reflection.

One day after hunting Narcissus stopped by the Stygian River to drink water and cool off. He saw his reflection in the water and immediately became obsessed. In fact, the obsession was so deep that he would no longer eat or drink.

Narcissus wanted so badly to covet his reflection that he even went as far as kissing it. The only thing that appeared was ripples across the water. He even tried to touch it but found that he could only stare at his obsession. In a cruel twist, the only thing in life that he coveted, he could not have.

Narcissus’ obsession with his own beauty bordered on the psychological. One day Narcissus got too close to the water, fell in, and drowned. The nymphs attempted to retrieve his body but never found it. To preserve the memory of narcissus, the nymphs planted a white flower that bears his name. According to the myth, the flower would always bring about memories of Narcissus.

In the Roman versions of the story, the myth is intertwined in art and culture. There are literally dozens of wall paintings, literary works, and poems that capture the myth of Narcissus. The myth has also found its way into modern life. The Narcissus flower takes its name after the mythical character. It usually grows in Europe and has 24 species.

 

What Are The Lessons Learned From Narcissus?

Narcissus was a proud young man who held disdain for the people who romanticized him. Many went to the extremes of even committing suicide to prove their devotion to him. The story is a classic tale of self-obsession. Although no one knows the exact reason why the story was written, it has been suggested that seeing your own reflection can have unlucky consequences, according to ancient Greeks.

Additionally, in ancient Greece, piety, vanity, and self-obsession were highly frowned upon by the gods. In fact, a number of characters throughout mythology were subjected to cruel fates because of pride and vanity. There is also the tendency to link certain things in nature with morality.

Link/cite this page

If you use any of the content on this page in your own work, please use the code below to cite this page as the source of the content.

<a href="https://greekgodsandgoddesses.net/heroes/narcissus/">Narcissus: https://greekgodsandgoddesses.net</a> - Greek Gods & Goddesses, January 6, 2022

Link will appear as Narcissus: https://greekgodsandgoddesses. net - Greek Gods & Goddesses, January 6, 2022

Narcissists: who they are, signs of narcissism, rules of conduct

The article was checked and commented by clinical psychologist and scientific researcher Christina Andreyuk.

  1. Who is
  2. How to recognize
  3. Men and women
  4. Types
  5. Treatment
  6. How to communicate
  7. How to leave

Who is a narcissist?

Advertising on RBC www.adv.rbc.ru

Narcissism is a feature of the psyche in which a person perceives himself as a unique individual, considers himself better than others, which is not always true. In fact, these traits are present in the character of many people. In a healthy personality, they result in ambition and a desire to please. But under a certain scenario, laid down in childhood, such behavior can turn into a pathology, which is often accompanied by other diagnoses, such as bipolar disorder and depression.

Contrary to popular belief, people with narcissistic personality disorder do not like themselves very much. Rather, they admire their grandiose projection, which allows them to close gaps in their own self-esteem. Such protection allows narcissists to avoid deep feelings and self-doubt. A person with this disorder does not tolerate minimal criticism, he perceives remarks as a personal insult and is able to throw a tantrum if someone refuses to admire him. You can check how narcissistic traits are characteristic of you or your partner using the NPI questionnaire [1]. The more positive answers a person gives to statements from the list compiled by American psychologists and researchers Robert Raskin and Howard Terry, the more narcissistic features appear in him. Meeting people with a true personality disorder is not easy. According to various sources, their number in society varies from 1 to 6%.

How to recognize a narcissist?

According to the American psychiatrists' handbook "Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" [2], there are nine signs of narcissistic personality disorder. If at least five of these are present, a doctor may suspect a disorder. Usually such a person:

  1. Has an inflated sense of self-importance. He often exaggerates his achievements and talents. Expects people to admire his actions, even if they were minor. If the narcissist organized the cleaning of the yard, then at least the district newspaper should write about it.
  2. Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, beauty, or ideal love. To each new partner, the narcissist can say that he is the love of his life or wait for him to fulfill his fantasies. The beginning of such a relationship is a magical, but short period. In work, the narcissist, according to him, is a genius. If he has not been able to achieve great results, he is simply sure that success lies ahead of him, even if it is time for him to retire.
  3. Believes that he is not like others and has few equals. Therefore, the environment must match. The narcissist chooses “special” people as friends and partners, for example, with high social status or model appearance. Thus, he seems to reflect himself through them, because his problems are unique and can only be understood by special people. Narcissists like to be associated with big brands, whether it be in their work projects or clothing choices.
  4. Requires constant attention, recognition and admiration, even if you just took out the trash or cooked dinner.
  5. Absolutely sure that everyone owes him. Expectations for other people are usually very high. Close people are obliged to fulfill the requests of the narcissist at the first call.
  6. Uses other people to achieve his own goals. For him, it goes without saying. The narcissist is not used to sincerely thanking for services and does it only within the framework of the accepted ethical norm.
  7. It is difficult for him to experience empathy. Such people are not able to draw a parallel between their feelings and the feelings of others. Therefore, the narcissist does not even think about when he hurts someone. Very often, this behavior is mistaken for abuse by partners of narcissists. In fact, he may be concerned with how to hide the shame of his failure and not lose his greatness.
  8. Often jealous of others and believes that others envy him. In the latter case, it is by this circumstance that the narcissist explains the criticism of others in his address.
  9. Arrogant towards other people. Such a person absolutely sincerely believes that he is better than others, and other people's shortcomings are an excellent reason to assert himself.

To decide to end a relationship with a narcissist, write down the reasons for breaking up and keep the list with you

© Unsplash

Men and women are narcissists disorder in one form or another, men are more likely to be affected by this disorder than women. The data were collected over a period of 30 years, and the percentage ratio between the sexes did not change much during this time [3].

In doing so, the researchers noted two important points. First, male narcissists were more likely than females to exploit others and believe they were entitled to certain privileges. Secondly, men were more likely to seek power. Scientists explain this by the fact that until recently, leadership qualities did not meet the criteria for femininity. According to one of the authors of the study, Emily Griyalva, girls are more often criticized for aggressiveness and authoritarianism. Thus, society unconsciously suppressed manifestations of narcissistic behavior [4].

As regards vanity and striving for a bright self-presentation, in this respect there was no significant difference between men and women.

Types of narcissists and how they are formed

There are different approaches to the formation of narcissism, including studies that allow for genetic influence, but this is not a decisive factor in the formation of personality.

In 1914, Sigmund Freud stated that children somehow go through a stage of primary narcissism. He believed that this was an intermediate stage of growing up, but later he singled out other forms of narcissism, to a greater extent associated with mental disorders.

Neuro-Freudian Karen Horney argued that the development of such character traits may be due to the fact that parents in various ways pushed the child to create psychological protection. For example, they could delegate the embodiment of their ambitions or rejected the real manifestations of the child, instilling a sense of inferiority.

The contribution of parental figures to the formation of narcissistic disorder is also noted by psychotherapist and researcher Otto Kernberg. He compares narcissism with a false prop that a person erects in order to receive from others the admiration and confidence that he did not receive from his parents in childhood and cannot give himself in adulthood [5].

In the book of psychologist Elinor Greenberg "Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: the pursuit of Love Admiration and Safety" [6], the author divides narcissists into three types:

  1. Open, or grandiose. Embodied stereotype. A bright character illustrating this feature of development and behavior. His whole being screams, "Look at me." This childish behavior indicates that a person is stuck at an age when adults pay a lot of attention to the child, praise him excessively, suggest that he is special, forgetting to teach him empathy.
  2. Hidden or depressive. Such people can grow up in families where one of the relatives, including mother or father, was a narcissist. At the same time, there was a high level of competition for love and attention. On the one hand, children copied the behavior model of narcissistic parents, on the other hand, such a child formed protective mechanisms, since an adult narcissist would certainly assert himself at his expense. Growing up, such people may not openly say that they are special. They would rather choose a person, a book, an object and exalt their virtues. Thus, the narcissist puts them on a par with himself. In personal relationships, such people do not like direct conflicts. Their weapon is passive aggression. A favorite technique is to promise and not deliver, and then blame the other person for everything. They tend to be insecure, and ambivalent behavior often leads them to depression.
  3. Perverse or toxic. Such people go even further. They love not only admiration, but also submission. Narcissists of this type love to wreak havoc around themselves, the same that reigned in their childhood in relationships with their parents. These narcissists often give their partners an emotional rollercoaster of humiliation and praise. They take pleasure in destroying other people's careers, destroying people morally and spiritually.

Mixed representatives of these types also exist.

Treatment for Narcissism

Most often, narcissists do not even suspect that something is wrong with them, because they do not tend to blame themselves for something. So if such people were seen by a specialist, then the reason for this could be related problems: depression, bipolar disorder, or excessive alcohol consumption. There is no cure for narcissism yet. Psychotherapy has a positive effect on such patients. Properly structured classes can help a person establish relationships with loved ones, learn to withstand criticism, stop despising themselves and others, set realistic goals and achieve them, and not dream of sky-high heights [7].

Although there is no cure for narcissism yet, psychotherapy has a positive effect

© Thiago Matos / Pexels

How to communicate with a narcissist?

Building an even relationship with a narcissist is not always easy. Some prefer to just cut them off. But what if this is not possible? Let's say that person is a family member or ex-husband/wife with whom you have children in common.

  • The first thing psychologists advise is to try to detach yourself emotionally. Ignore toxic statements and manipulations. It is useless to expect sudden changes in behavior from such people. According to research, narcissists do not tend to learn from their own mistakes simply because they are sure they did not make them [8].
  • Your personal boundaries are your guard against the actions of a narcissist. “This won’t happen to me anymore”, “I won’t fall for these manipulations” - phrases that will help to avoid an unpleasant conversation or intrusive requests of a narcissist. You can't wait for a response.
  • The shortest possible answers, conditionally “yes” and “no”, are your main allies in a dialogue with such a person if he began to resort to manipulation. By minimizing communication, you give him much less reason to hook on to some phrase and launch an attack.
  • Stick to the topic of conversation and don't get sidetracked. Perhaps your counterpart will try to knock you out of the saddle with accusations or get personal. In this case, the phrase “We are going off topic” will help bring the discussion back on track.
  • Compliments. If you really need to get something out of a narcissist, don't be stingy with praise. Most likely, he will even enjoy fulfilling your request. Yes, this is manipulation, but who said that only a narcissist can use this technique?

How to get away from a narcissist

The end of a relationship is never easy. With a narcissist, breaking up can be doubly difficult. For him, the fact that he was abandoned is an intolerable insult. That is why he will try by hook or by crook to bring the partner back. During this period, he will become sensitive and gentle, will swear eternal love and will do this until his victim loses his vigilance. Often, therefore, relationships with a narcissist develop into a cycle of breaks and reunions. Nevertheless, if you decide to put an end to your communication, psychologists recommend the following:

  • Write down the reasons why you want to leave. It's best to keep this list around in case the narcissist decides to drag you back into the relationship by talking about eternal love.
  • Give up illusions. It is difficult for such people to change, especially without the help of a specialist. Do you have time to wait until he finally learns to show empathy and respect?
  • Break all contacts. Ask a friend to pick up your belongings from the narcissist. Block this person in all phones and messengers. If you have children in common, at first ask someone close to you to be with you at general meetings.
  • Release your feelings. Breaking up, even with a toxic person, is always hard. Give yourself time to get over this situation. Just don't expect the narcissist to suffer in return. Most likely, during this period, he will try to restore his shattered ego and will choose not the most pleasant ways for this: either he will tell everyone what a bad person you are, or seek solace in the arms of someone else.

There are nine signs of narcissism, but five signs can already be suspected of it

© Martino Pietropoli / Unsplash

Kristina Andreyuk, clinical psychologist, researcher. Research interests: mentalization, manipulative behavior, personality disorders

In addition to family relationships, external factors can also enhance narcissistic traits. Media and social networks broadcast often unattainable ideals, and self-improvement services are imposed by advertising. All this can affect the psyche.

In "normal narcissism" people try to please others, to achieve success in work, which helps them to adapt in society. However, in the case of pathology, a person's ideas about themselves are distorted. In this case, the emphasis is on the grandiosity of his figure. He experiences difficulties in forming adequate ideas about other people, abuses manipulations, grossly violates the boundaries of the interlocutor and ignores his comfort. Narcissistic features can manifest themselves in pathological perfectionism, hypochondria, constant attempts to correct their "flaws", including, for example, transforming one's appearance as the most noticeable attribute of self-presentation for others.

On the surface, narcissists give the impression of being rather pleasant people. According to research, many socially active narcissists have charisma, know how to hold an audience, are not afraid to express themselves, appear self-confident, and have high claims regarding academic and professional achievements. These qualities often show up in job interviews and help narcissists get into leadership positions. However, such bosses may use too subjective criteria when evaluating employees, focusing not on their professional achievements, but on the degree of admiration, devotion, and the absence of doubts about the correctness of the leader's decisions.

Close relationships are difficult for narcissists. In partners and friends, they are primarily looking for confirmation of their exclusivity, superiority (which reinforces vulnerable self-esteem). Often, such people confuse the attachment that accompanies healthy partnerships and collaborations with the addiction that can shackle and inspire fear. The demands of constant adoration and recognition of their grandiosity, which the narcissist often implements in the form of excessive control over the thoughts and feelings of a partner, in most cases, sooner or later are not fully satisfied, which leads to conflicts and increased manipulative behavior.

If you have found any manifestations of narcissistic traits in yourself and want to change them, then it will be useful for you to develop the skills of self-reflection, mentalization (understanding mental states), work on the development of emotional intelligence, empathy (for example, discuss with friends the films you have watched, read books in terms of understanding the inner world of the characters, their motivation, etc.). It is very important to learn to analyze what is happening from different positions, without sliding into extreme points, such as, for example, idealization and depreciation - look for alternative explanations. Try to look at situations or actions from different angles, noting the possible positive aspects of seemingly negative events, including during conversations with loved ones.

If your loved one has narcissistic traits, you need to learn how to track the emotional states of both you and your interlocutor. It is necessary to soberly analyze situations of interpersonal communication. For example, learning to recognize imposed guilt requires being able to maintain your boundaries and autonomy of choice. Psychotherapeutic help will be useful in both cases.

Tags: psychology

Narcissism - what it is, signs and causes of narcissistic personality disorder

About who people with narcissism are, where it comes from and whether it is always necessary to break off relations with narcissists, says Anna, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of the online psychological help service YouTalk Krymskaya

Surely among your acquaintances there is someone about whom you thought “Yes, he is a typical daffodil”. Most likely, the description of this person will look like this: self-confident, ambitious, somewhat selfish. Possibly manipulative.

The term "narcissism" is heard everywhere: in psychological blogs, movies, Tiktok. There are articles and studies about him. But often in them this phenomenon is simplified and stigmatized. Who are narcissists, should they be avoided, and when can one speak of a narcissistic disorder?

What is narcissism

Narcissism in psychology is an exaggerated opinion about one's contribution to society or a group, otherwise known as excessive narcissism or even egocentrism. This is not a monolithic concept, but a whole spectrum. To some extent, its features are present in many of us, this is normal and even useful in some ways. For example, people with a narcissistic temperament are often ambitious, take care of themselves and achieve great success in their careers.

Depending on how pronounced the narcissistic tendencies are and whether they interfere with life, the spectrum of narcissism can be divided into four parts:

Character and accentuation are variants of a healthy manifestation of narcissism, and personality disorder is already a psychiatric diagnosis.

Related material

The extreme degree of the norm is the narcissistic accentuation of the personality. This means that the narcissistic qualities of character are so pronounced that in some cases they begin to interfere with a person's life. They can affect his relationships with others or the professional sphere. However, their influence is not so serious as to diagnose a personality disorder. For example, they can lead to conflicts with superiors or prevent a person from sincerely opening up to another, removing the mask of ideality.

What qualities are considered narcissistic

Based on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, one of the most popular tools for identifying non-clinical cases of narcissism, the following qualities can be considered narcissistic:

  • Demonstration. It is expressed in the idea of ​​one's own unusualness, uniqueness, physical attractiveness and ability to influence others
  • Authority. Confidence in possessing leadership qualities, the ability to influence others, power over people, the ability to succeed.
  • Chosenness. The feeling of one's own peculiarity, the expectation of an exceptionally good attitude, respect, recognition of one's merits, submission to one's requirements and desires.
  • Vanity. The desire to look good in the eyes of others, the need to confirm one's superiority, the desire to hear flattery from other people.
  • Self-sufficiency. Confidence in one's independence from people in achieving results, competence, responsibility for making decisions, confidence in the correctness of one's actions, the ability to live in accordance with one's desires, the ability to become a great person.
  • Excellence. Conviction in the extraordinary and uniqueness of one's personality, the presence of special achievements and talents, the deserving of appropriate recognition from others.
  • Operation. Confidence in one's ability to use other people, the ease of manipulating others to achieve one's own goals, the ability to understand others well, influence their behavior, and convince of something.

Along with these traits, there are often such characteristics as increased sensitivity to shame, perfectionism, feelings of inner emptiness and loneliness.

People with a narcissistic psychotype are demonized, attributing to them aggressiveness, lack of empathy, a tendency to violence

The traits listed above are manifestations of narcissism as a personality trait, that is, a norm. To be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, according to the American DSM-5 classification of diseases, in early adulthood, a person must exhibit five or more of the following characteristics of narcissism:

  • Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited achievement, influence, power, intelligence, beauty, or ideal love.
  • Belief in one's individuality and uniqueness, accompanied by the need to communicate only with people of the highest level.
  • The need for unconditional admiration.
  • Feeling entitled to a reward.
  • Exploitation of others to achieve one's own ends.
  • Lack of empathy.
  • Envy of others and belief that others envy them.
  • Arrogance and haughtiness.

    • In Russia, however, since January 2022 it has become impossible to get a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, because our doctors do not follow the DSM-5, but the International Classification of Diseases from the World Health Organization. In the latest edition, the division into individual personality disorders was removed: now they look at whether a person has general signs of a personality disorder, the degree of their severity and specific manifestations. This will make the approach more comprehensive and personalized.

    Is it worth labeling a person as "narcissist"

    There are two sides to using such labels. They can be a guide, explain individual patterns in their own and others' behavior, feelings and thinking; can help you get the big picture. But they can also become a stigmatizing stigma, if you do not pay attention to the individual characteristics of a person. Unfortunately, in modern culture, this often happens and any people with a narcissistic psychotype are demonized, attributing to them aggressiveness, lack of empathy, a tendency to violence, and offering to avoid any contact with them. But this will not be true for every person with narcissistic traits. Because of such generalizations, even the expression "narcissist" itself has acquired a negative connotation, and its use is considered not entirely ethical.

    In addition, in psychology there are many different classifications of narcissism that better convey the shades of this phenomenon than one term.

    Related material

    What types of narcissism are distinguished by psychologists

    Most often they talk about two types:

    Grandiose. Such a person wants to be the best. Faster, higher, stronger than all. Career, appearance, relationships - everything should be perfect. This characteristic fits well with the modern philosophy of success and achievement, so often this type achieves a lot in life. Grandiose narcissists can embellish reality to fit their ideal image if reality falls short. The self-esteem of such people is unstable: from the outside it may seem high or even inflated, but inside they often feel empty and dissatisfied.

    Vulnerable. He is also hidden or thin-skinned. Clinical psychologist Paul Wink in his work "The Two Faces of Narcissism" described the mental portrait of representatives of this type as prone to introversion, submission, anxiety, vulnerability and always being on the defensive. However, like the grandiose type, they are vain, interested in others, impulsive, and often take risks.

    While grandiose narcissists usually exalt themselves in the eyes of others, vulnerable narcissists may appear to hate themselves. In fact, this is the same idealization, but turned inside out. While grandiose narcissists tend to see themselves as the best, covert narcissists tend to see themselves as the worst, stupidest, most miserable. Keyword: most.

    From the grandiose pole, a person with narcissism can fall into the other extreme: feel like a partner unworthy of love in principle

    Some researchers believe that these types are not mutually exclusive, but can change depending on the circumstances of a person's life. For example, there was a successful period at work: a person exceeded KPI and received praise from his superiors. At this point, he will be inclined to idealize himself, to feel his own exclusivity and superiority, life will seem beautiful. A week later, the partner shares that some aspect of the relationship does not suit him. From the grandiose pole, a person with narcissism can fall into the other extreme: to feel like a disgusting partner, unworthy of love in principle. And at the same time devalue all previous achievements. In this state, a person may impulsively propose a breakup or show aggression, trying to avoid corrosive shame.

    And if the narcissistic disorder is accompanied by features of sociopathy (indifference, aggressiveness, disregard for social norms), one can speak of perverse narcissism. It is this type that is prone to emotional violence and even crime due to a lack of empathy. Perverted narcissists are people who prove their worth and value through the humiliation of others. It is extremely difficult for them to build a healthy relationship, as they are not able to empathize, lie, manipulate and overly control their partner. This type rarely turns to a psychotherapist, and it is difficult for him to stay in therapy.

    Narcissism in men and women

    Researchers at the Buffalo Institute analyzed studies of narcissistic personality disorder over the past 30 years and found that it is more common in men and manifests somewhat differently than in women.

    First, men are more likely to exploit others and feel entitled to enjoy privileges. Secondly, they show more desire for power and leadership. But in the manifestations of vanity and egocentrism, there was no particular difference. Scientists suggest that such results may be the result of a certain gender socialization - that is, the attitudes broadcast by society about what men and women can and cannot be.

    Because women are often criticized for being aggressive and authoritarian, they can suppress these narcissistic traits while men do not have to. But the authors note that this topic requires further study

    Causes of narcissism

    There are different concepts as to why people develop narcissism. The conducted studies have not proved an unambiguous connection with genetics, so the sociocultural concept remains the main one.

    Representatives of psychoanalysis paid a special attention to the nature of narcissism. For example, Sigmund Freud and Heinz Kohut were of the opinion that at a certain stage in the development of a child, the emergence of narcissism is a natural and healthy phenomenon - this is called primary narcissism. In infancy, the child has no other needs than his own, and he does not have to make any effort to satisfy them. In fact, he is the center of his own universe. This is a normal developmental stage that everyone goes through.

    However, certain circumstances can lead to secondary narcissism - that is, its unhealthy form. Such a circumstance could be a lack of parental love and acceptance. Moreover, the child did not necessarily encounter excessive severity, cruelty or indifference. It is quite possible that his parents, on the contrary, praised him for any reason and did not forbid anything. Child idealization and permissiveness can also be perceived as dislike and cause secondary narcissism, according to Karen Horney. When only the positive side is seen in a child, ignoring the existence of negative traits, he feels unseen. As if they love not him, but some other person, an image. In both cases, the defensive reaction is the creation of an imaginary ideal "I", designed to deserve the love and attention of others.

    Related material

    Psychoanalyst Andre Green considers another reason in his article "Dead Mother". He talks about a situation in which the mother was physically alive, but was emotionally unavailable and absent due to depression. For this reason, the child did not receive love, care, support in the proper amount. The researcher believed that the mother's depression becomes a trauma for the child, since the baby, up to a certain age, sees in himself the cause of everything that happens around him and, among other things, blames himself for his mother's condition.

    Lack of communication and warmth leads to the fact that the child tries to "bring the mother back to life", changing behavior, attracting attention. Failures give rise to tremendous anxiety and a feeling of a bottomless hole inside. Over time, the baby begins to feel the emptiness, which he will later try to fill: with achievements, attention, other people. In this case, those around him can become his narcissistic extension - like an extension of his personality, an attribute to maintain status and high self-esteem. Other consequences are the replacement of emotions with reasoning, a tendency to depression, aggressiveness, the inability to let someone in, to accept and experience love, to build warm trusting relationships.

    Narcissistic trauma

    Trauma associated with the narcissistic part of the personality can occur not only in childhood. According to Freud, a narcissistic injury is a situation in which the narcissist feels that his hidden true self has been discovered. Its imperfection is revealed. For example, if he faced failure or his authority was called into question. Narcissistic trauma can lead to depression or what is known as narcissistic rage, an attempt to regain control and avenge the pain.

    Treatment of narcissism

    Both narcissistic personality disorder and narcissism in the broadest sense are generally amenable to psychotherapy. It's not exactly a "treatment" in the medical sense of the word. Rather, the process of knowing, accepting and adapting to the characteristics of one's personality.

    For therapy to be effective, the person must be interested in it. In many cases, the benefits of narcissistic character traits and the difficulty in recognizing one's own imperfection lead to the fact that a person is not too willing to change something in his life and turn to a psychotherapist. And in a situation where we are talking simply about character traits that do not interfere with the person himself and do not harm others, the therapy of narcissism is, in principle, not needed.

    If you feel bad in a relationship, then whether the person is a narcissist or not, it makes sense to think about parting. Working with the deep structures of personality requires a lot of effort and time. But at the same time, the very arrival of psychotherapy already has a positive effect. The therapeutic relationship is built on trust, acceptance, and recognition of the person in all of his manifestations, and this is exactly the kind of experience that people with narcissistic disorder or pronounced narcissism practically do not have.

    Together with the client, the therapist looks for points of support and support. The psychologist is able to endure regular cycles of idealization and devaluation, which allows the relationship to last. Teaches the client to see himself, not to fall into one of the poles of adoration and hatred, to endure his fears, doubts, vulnerability, envy and a constant sense of shame. See the value of other people in isolation from himself and, if necessary, control his aggression.

    Having received the experience of warm acceptance of different aspects of his personality in therapy, a person with narcissism learns to apply this experience in everyday life, to build relationships with the world and himself in a new way.

    How to communicate with a person if you suspect narcissism or NPD

    There are two main principles to follow: focus on how you feel in contact with this person and not try to save him. In general, these rules can be applied to any relationship, regardless of the type of person.

    It is not so important to recognize how pronounced narcissism is, but to pay attention to the quality of your relationship: