Define shallow personality

10 Signs You're Dealing With a Shallow Person

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In developing friendships and relationships. the last thing anybody wants to deal with is a shallow person.

When trying to connect with shallow people, they only care about gossip, small talk, and anything else considered on the surface level of things.

It’s hard to deal with shallow people when you’re interested in growing and becoming the best version of yourself as the two don’t exactly align with one another.

However, this isn’t to say that they’re impossible to deal with altogether. In this article, we’ll be talking about everything you need to know about dealing with shallow people.

What Being a Shallow Person Means

Shallow people are defined as those individuals who are interested in surface-level things like gossip and drama, among many others.

No matter how hard you try to have a deep conversation with them, you’ll end up frustrating yourself in the process. the term shallow can come in several forms whether that’s in gossip, money, looks, material objects, status, and many more.

These are the things that you’ll see a shallow person obsess over and spend the majority of their time on.

When trying to converse with them, it’s practically impossible to steer them away from these things so you can’t bother talking to them about purpose, growth, or even philosophy.

When you’re someone considered as shallow, this affects the majority if not all the relationships in your life.

You can’t build long-lasting relationships with others if you’re a shallow person because the foundation of a working and healthy relationship is that depth in emotional, mental, and physical connection – which a shallow person can’t have.

10 Signs You’re Dealing With a Shallow Person

1. They thrive on gossip and drama

When someone is shallow, they won’t let themselves miss the latest gossip which means they’re updated with everything happening around them, even those they don’t necessarily care about.

The moment a shallow person hears gossip, they need to hear all about it, include the intricate details of that specific event.

Gossip and drama is their field of excitement.

2. They are materialistic

It’s only natural that when someone is shallow, they’re also materialistic.

You will see them hoard several materialistic things and buy whatever they want, whether it’s for status, temporary pleasure, or another reason entirely.

Very rarely will you see a shallow person contemplate buying what they want to think about whether they really need that item.

3. They care too much about physical appearance

It’s okay to care about how you look every now and then as we all deserve to feel good about ourselves.

However, when the essence of your soul thrives on how you look and what you wear, these are characteristics of someone shallow.

These people care about their outer appearances without giving the same effort to how they are within themselves.

4. Their relationships are self-centered

When you observe the significant relationships in their lives, you can see that it’s self-centered.

You don’t see any give-and-take factor, which is a significant factor for any friendship or relationship to work.

With a shallow person, it’s always their needs that must be met and not so much the other person.

5. They lack intelligence

One of the obvious and defining factors of a shallow person is their lack of wisdom and intelligence in things.

Since they’re so focused on surface-level things, they don’t have the wisdom to process things at your level.

This is the reason behind it’s almost impossible to have conversations with them filled with depth and substance – because of that lack of intelligence to do so.

6. They will betray you

You can expect a shallow person to betray you at some point in your life because of their ability to thrive in gossip and drama.

Shallow people are those that you should be careful with the most as they tend to lean towards gossip for their own selfish gain and this includes stabbing you in the back and betraying your trust altogether.

7. They are judgemental

Someone who is considered shallow will likely judge you for everything you do and this doesn’t only apply to you, but everyone in their lives.

Shallow people will always be judgemental and critical of everyone – they can’t help this personality trait of theirs.

They thrive in conflict so it’s only natural that they’re judgmental.

8. They love being the center of attention

When people lack the depth or understanding to pursue meaningful things in life, this comes with loving being the center of attention.

Shallow people love being overwhelmed with attention from others, which also means that they hate being ignored above all else.

They’ll do anything and everything to be at the center of everyone’s attention.

9. They won’t build a strong connection with you

No matter how hard you try, you won’t build a powerful and strong relationship with shallow people that’s worth lasting.

It can only end up in disaster with you doing the majority of the work trying to make that friendship or relationship last.

Shallow people aren’t capable of being intimate with others due to that lack of substantial aspect.

10. They don’t listen

Whatever you have to say, shallow people will do everything to get the attention back to them which makes them very bad listeners.

They don’t listen because they genuinely value what you’re saying, but they’re likely listening just to respond and get them to talk more about themselves.

Listening is merely an opportunity for them to think about how they’re going to make the central topic all about them.

Final Thoughts

I hope this article was able to shed insight into everything you needed to know about dealing with shallow people.

While they aren’t easy to deal with, remember that someone being shallow doesn’t necessarily make them bad people – it just makes them more challenging to build certain connections with.

Shallow people can also still work on this personality trait of theirs and their lack of substance and depth isn’t the final thing – they can still evolve from that upon their choice.

6 Damaging Traits Of A Shallow Person By Creativity Mesh

Being in shallow relationships can be difficult, especially when you seek genuine connections. However, since you’re likely to come across shallow people once in a while, it is crucial to know how to spot them and deal with them. 

In this blog post, let us explore some of the most common traits of a shallow person and discuss some tips on how you can deal with them.

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What Does It Mean to Have a Shallow Personality?

Do you feel like your relationship, either with your partner or your friend, lacks a more profound meaning? 

It’s like no matter how hard you try to get to know them on a more profound level, every conversation you have just feels shallow or inauthentic. They stay by your side when it’s all fun and games, especially when they have something to benefit from. But the moment you attempt to discuss serious things with them, suddenly they lose interest and bail at the last minute.

The term shallow person is used to refer to someone who lacks significant intellectual depth and emotional depth. When an individual lacks insight and only has a superficial understanding of things, they are considered shallow. 

Because of their lack of depth, a shallow person is usually seen as naïve, petty, uncreative. They can be conformists. Many of them are materialistic, too. 

Do you know a shallow person?

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Do you know a shallow person?

In addition, shallow people often embrace conventional beauty standards and stereotyped gender roles. They are also the kind of people who have an aversion to relationships and often have a hard time keeping a deep relationship with another person.  

Moreover, they tend to focus only on themselves and physical appearances, having little to no interest in the deeper aspects of a person or a relationship.

What are some of the traits of a shallow person? 

Considering the high chances of you meeting a shallow person at least once in your life, it would benefit you to know the telltale signs of a shallow personality. A few of the traits of a shallow person are:

1. They only care about physical appearance.

There’s nothing wrong with caring about one’s appearance but the thing about shallow people is that it’s all they care about. They put such a high value on physical qualities that the more critical aspects of a person, such as generosity, kindness, intellect, and humility, are wholly disregarded. 

A shallow person would date anyone who is attractive and surround themselves with attractive people even if they don’t really like these individuals. As long as someone is pretty or hot, shallow people will not think twice about being in that person’s presence whether they have something worthwhile to say or not.

Moreover, a superficial person tends to reinvent themselves from time to time. They change their style, likes, and even their circle of friends to fit whatever is “in vogue” at the moment.

2. They seek validation.

Shallow people are always looking for validation. They go around bragging about their accomplishments and possessions to get praise and admiration from others. 

You will also notice that a shallow person gets easily jealous and defensive when you talk about your experiences with other people. They feel the need to prove that they’re better than these people in some way, perhaps through comparing their possessions or achievements.

This trait becomes even more apparent in one of their shallow relationships as they feel the need to boast about being in a relationship with somebody to boost their ego. They’d post their partner’s pictures together online without their permission and constantly post messages about how amazing the other is on social media.

3. They only talk about superficial things. 

A shallow person is not interested in deeper topics such as philosophy or meaningful literature that directly impact their everyday routine and experiences. 

Shallow people can only talk about superficial topics to avoid making themselves or others uncomfortable. They are afraid that if they start talking about more profound subjects, they will have to reveal who they really are, and that’s a scary and uncomfortable situation for them. So they do their best to avoid awkward situations at all costs. 

But the truth is, shallow people tend to be afraid of themselves. They are fearful of exposing their true self, the core of their being. They fear if others know who they are, they would not like them anymore. 

Shallow people are like everyone else. It’s highly likely that underneath all their superficiality lies a long history of pain and suffering that makes them emotionally unhealthy and possibly, mentally unstable. So as much as they would like to know themselves, they usually avoid it at any cost. 

As a result, it is often difficult and frustrating for deep people to communicate with shallow people. Most shallow people will deny what they genuinely feel deep down inside without hesitation because that’s how unhealthy it is to expose who they are.

4. They are materialistic. 

A shallow person often aims to gain and flaunt material assets—a flashy car, branded clothes, and the latest trends. They measure their worth based on these things. 

Shallow people think they are better than others when they own more expensive stuff. That’s why they like to chase money, power, or fame, thinking that these would give them happiness even if it is shallow and fleeting. 

Shallow individuals also calculate the value of others based on wealth. The wealthier someone is, the more valuable they become. 

When speaking to someone, shallow people tend to judge them based on what they have or how much they’ve earned. They can also easily compare their situations to those of others. 

When you go out with a shallow person, you can always count on that person gushing about every new item they come across. Above all, their mind has a loose grip, and they are quick to make assumptions and conclusions based on the “price tag” they put on almost everything. Because of this particular trait usually, deep people feel more content than their counterparts.

5. They are poor listeners. 

One reason why a shallow person is considered socially undesirable is because of their poor listening skills. 

However, not being a great listener must not be confused with a socially anxious person, who often gets lost in their thoughts. You can tell the difference between the two because a shallow person usually doesn’t care about what others have to say. They only have an interest in things that involve them, so who cares about your opinions? 

One of the simplest tests to tell if a person is shallow is to see how they respond when you try to tell them something.

Even if they seem to show an interest in what you have to say but then continue talking, that is a clear indication that they are not interested in making a connection with you. If they never seem to finish talking or don’t care about what you have to say, this means that they are just going through the motions and aren’t really listening.

If what you’re saying doesn’t concern or benefit them, they would likely not listen. This characteristic is usually driven by their tendency to chase attention and want the limelight all to themselves. As a result, this makes them poor communicators, preventing them from making deep connections with others.

6. They are hypocrites.

Since superficial people want to be the center of attention, they would say anything to get the attention of anyone even if they don’t necessarily believe in it. 

More often than not, they don’t practice what they preach. It is one of the most prominent characteristics commonly associated with them. They are described best as people who stretch the truth to such a degree that it appears absurd. 

Such people are frequently dishonest. Because of this, it is difficult to trust them with important matters. Their dishonesty may manifest itself as a need to constantly have the spotlight, exaggerated positive traits about themselves and their achievements, or a lack of empathy. What is the point in trying to connect with them if they’re not going to stick to what they say?

How Do You Deal With a Shallow Person? 

Now that you already have an idea of some of the typical traits of a shallow person, it is essential to know how to deal with them. When you meet a shallow person, you might immediately think of them as a bad person. 

The first thing you should do is not to criticize them but to accept them as they are. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them. Just stay true to yourself and try to enjoy their company.

When you’re dealing with a superficial person, keep in mind that you have the power to decide how long you will interact with them, or to keep them at a distance if you prefer not to spend time with them.  

If interacting with them is totally unavoidable, perhaps they’re a relative or an important colleague, you can try shifting the conversation to a topic that would diffuse their undesirable behavior. 

If you’ve already tried bringing up any topic you can think of, but the conversation still ends up revolving around this shallow person, politely excusing yourself as soon as possible is the best course of action. This would prevent offending the person and allow you to find someone with a deeper insight and understanding whom you’ll enjoy talking to. 

Is Being Shallow a Bad Thing?

Having the traits of a shallow person is not necessarily a bad thing. Shallow individuals are not malicious or spiteful; as a matter of fact, they are often seen as friendly and very optimistic. 

The only concern about being shallow is that their quality of social interactions is deemed socially undesirable. Since shallow individuals tend to focus only on themselves, appearance, and status, most people don’t like to keep them in their circle.

One thing to note is that sometimes, what some perceive as shallow is only something harmlessly superficial that was exaggerated into having a bad rep. 

An example of this is caring about your physical appearance. Being conscious of how you look and maintaining your looks is not exactly shallow unless it’s the only thing you care about. 

When people are honest and willing to admit that they just aren’t into something, such as a particular type of music or movie(s), there’s nothing wrong with that. It shows that they are not too focused on superficial things and ready to broaden their horizons. 

Another example is posting selfies or documenting your life on social media. 

Taking and posting selfies can be a way to practice self-love. Moreover, taking pictures of significant moments in your life and sharing them on social media is a great way to keep a record of the awesome things you’ve accomplished. 

If the only things you care about are your appearance or how people perceive you online, then it’s just shallow behavior. If you feel like there is no way to be yourself without posting selfies or that you need to be prettier to be liked, then maybe it’s time for you to change your perspective and values.

What is the Opposite of a Shallow Person?

While having characteristics distinct to a shallow person is not exactly wrong, you can benefit significantly from striving to become the opposite of a shallow individual—a deep person. 

To be considered deep, you must have a profound understanding and insight. This, however, does not mean that you have to be a philosophical genius that only cares about serious things in life because, after all, where’s the fun in that? 

To be a deep person, you can start by practicing these things. Or, if you already happen to be doing these, work on reinforcing them to help you become a better person, friend, and partner. Here are some of the ways you can start the transformation: 

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Look Beyond Appearances

A fundamental yet straightforward aspect that distinguishes a shallow person from a deep one is the tendency to focus solely on appearances. To be deep, you have to look beyond the outward characteristics of beautiful people and focus on less tangible qualities such as one’s core values: wisdom, compassion, and empathy.

Don’t Put Value on Gossip

A deep individual does not believe everything they hear, especially if it’s against their values. Instead of being entertained and distracted by gossip and misinformation, you should examine what kind of purpose sharing this information serves.

Listen More

A notable characteristic of deep people is that they listen more than they speak. When you listen more, you will become aware of different opinions and perspectives, helping you develop a deeper understanding of the subject.

Think About Your Behavior’s Consequences 

Unlike most shallow individuals, a deep person thinks about the consequences of their behavior before they act on it. To be deep, you must keep in mind that your words and actions impact others, so you must be careful about what you say or do.

Go Past Your Ego

A shallow person tends to criticize someone to make themselves feel better. On the other hand, someone who is deep struggles against this egoic urge to judge people. To be a deep person, you must overcome your insecurities and treat others with compassion instead of judgment. 


Although being a shallow person is not necessarily bad, forging strong and genuine connections with one can be very difficult. If you wish to surround yourself with people who value authentic over shallow relationships, you should look out for shallow people in your life and know how to deal with them. 

Ultimately, if you wish to continue making meaningful social interactions, you must strive to become a deep person yourself. Or, if you need further help, you might want to consult with a mental health professional. 

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How about you?

Do you know some traits of a shallow person? Is there anything you’d like to share? If so, let’s continue the conversation! Post your comments below!


This post may contain affiliate links. Meaning, if you click on one of the product links, I will earn a small commission at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Creativity Mesh. 

Superficial Superficial man | What is Superficiality A superficial person

Superficiality as a quality of personality is a tendency to perceive the world around us primitively, shallowly, outwardly, in a hurry.

When the son returned home after a long wandering, the father asked him: - And what did you learn there that you could not learn here? “I realized that the Universe has a Creator,” answered the son. - And for this it was necessary to spend so much time? He called the maid and asked: - Tell me, does the Universe have a Creator? “Of course,” the girl replied. - Well? The father turned to his son. “She only talks,” he answered, “and I know.

It is absurd to live between depth and height. No fish, no meat, neither here nor there. Reason, in order to soar to the heights of the human spirit, must break through the veil of the surface and learn the deep secrets of life, hidden from a superficial glance. Knowledge is endless. It is, of course, impossible to get to the very depths, but, as they say, one must strive for this. If a person slides over the surface of phenomena, if he ignores the search for their essence, let him prepare for the lessons of life to correct the mistakes made.

Superficiality is a closed door to practical knowledge. You can load your memory with information from all possible encyclopedias and still remain a superficial person. The amount of information received by the mind will turn into quality if a person first remembers it, then comprehends it and then applies it in life. A fanatic or gullible person will grab the first information that falls into his ears and stop there. He cannot analyze, compare and compare with previous knowledge or he is too lazy to do it. He was also not accustomed to doubting information. Stuck at the stage of blind non-critical perception of information, he replenishes the army of not only superficial people, but also its specific forms of incarnation - fanatics, gullible, sectarians, etc. In other words, superficiality often manifests itself in the form of fanaticism and gullibility.

Reasoning is the enemy of superficiality. A superficial person grabs information, but does not comprehend it and does not try to verify it in real life. He, like a frivolous buyer, casually twists knowledge in his hands and puts it aside. For example, a person has read a lot of books about the dangers of smoking, knows Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" close to the text, but at the same time continues to "tar" two packs of cigarettes a day. There is no use for his informative knowledge. This is a passive form of manifestation of superficiality.

The active form of the surface is realized through people who are unable to perceive the new. The army of superficial critics is innumerable. Its first sign is unwillingness to listen. Even without hearing a word from her opponent, she is ready to fight. Listening involves obedience, that is, humble, not militant, listening. If you listen to another person like a novice, the meaning of his words reaches the mind. When a person turns on his false ego, he thinks about what he will say. Listening to another person does not occur to him. His psyche is tuned to antagonism. The virus of selfishness corrodes the mind and mind of the individual so much that it really hurts her to listen to other people's opinions. It is hard for her to sit in one place, she fidgets, worries or openly rushes to prove her case, interrupts, rereads, condemns and accuses. It should be noted that if a false ego has struck the mind and mind of a person, he becomes immune to new knowledge, his personal growth is over, he can travel only on the baggage of past merits. Sad diagnosis. It is clear that he becomes a full-fledged volunteer in the army of superficial people.

The worst thing is when superficiality imagines itself to be depth and actively proves it to others. An aggressive ignoramus who considers himself to be the epitome of learning and wisdom is the battle troop of the army of superficiality. For example, such a pseudo scientist has studied butterflies in depth. He now sees the whole world through the wing of a cabbage butterfly. By means of butterflies, he is ready to explain any phenomenon, situations and relationships. In a word, as in a joke. A student is asked: What do you think about when you look at a brick? - About women. - Why? - Oh, I always think about them. Instead of understanding, since the problem with butterflies is so complex and multifaceted, how complex is the world, he bends the whole world to fit his problem and simplifies it to the level of relationships between butterflies. In other words, specialized knowledge in the hands of a superficial ignoramus becomes a grenade in the paws of a monkey.

Superficial people tend to think that it is always better where they are not. Therefore, they jump from place to place, their work book resembles K. Marx's Capital. Not seeing the forest for the trees, they chase the stranger away from their native forest. The fussiness and over-business of modern life only add fuel to the fire of superficiality. In the race for happiness, there is no time to comprehend the essence of what is happening in life, to penetrate into the depths of human relationships.

Superficiality is "galloping through Europe". During a tourist trip, a man went to a cozy cafe. The menu included mouth-watering soups, spicy condiments and other tempting dishes. He ordered soup. Are you on this bus? the venerable-looking waitress asked politely. He nodded. “Then there’s no soup. “What about steamed rice with curry sauce?” asked the surprised tourist. — No, if you are from this bus. You can only order sandwiches. I spent a whole morning preparing meals, and you have no more than ten minutes left to eat. I can't let you eat a dish that you can only taste superficially due to lack of time.

Petr Kovalev 2013
Other articles of the author:

A superficial person is... Definition and examples

A superficial person is a very loose concept . Everyone puts a different meaning into it, but the basic setting is the same - unwillingness to go deeper, and therefore to understand life itself. Such a person does not really think about the feelings of others and his own life, and, in general, about anything. Such people are often said to be shallow morally or intellectually. They look like ordinary people, but inside they are empty creatures. Let's look at the signs of the so-called narrow-minded person.

Before reading...

Often, when we stigmatize a person as "superficial", the problem lies in our own perception. This phenomenon is very common: one person does not understand another, does not hear his words and does not recognize motives, and, not wanting to go deeper, concludes that this is a superficial person. So this topic is worth thinking about. And the article will give signs that characterize a superficial person. Let's say they hung a cliché on the personality. But before we paint it in colors, we should think, maybe we, judging the other, think superficially ourselves?

Lack of clear convictions

If a person does not have a “moral compass” inside, then his actions are not subordinated to a single goal. His actions will be rather pragmatic, aimed at his own benefit. The boundaries of firm beliefs are too blurred, because in order to strengthen life principles in oneself, a lot of thought is required. For a superficial person, long and painstaking reflections do not make sense, and therefore he can turn his worldview at any moment in the right and convenient direction.

Dim inner world

It is impossible to see the spiritual beauty of a person, barely touching it. This takes time and desire, and only then will you be able to see the colors of the hidden world of a person who before that seemed completely different. Sometimes even in the most nondescript candy wrapper there can be a delicious candy. With a superficial person, this will not happen. Once you take a look at his inner world, you will not find anything special. This will happen not because it was opened to you right away, but simply there was nothing to “unpack”.

Lack of self-awareness

Self-awareness allows you to analyze your own life. This process takes not only time, but also human energy. When you start to immerse yourself in your thoughts and think about your own life, you don’t know where you will come. Nobody can promise that it will be easy. In such conditions, one can understand people who simply neglect introspection. For them, this seems too difficult, and most importantly, completely unnecessary process. Unfortunately, this method often leads to the repetition of the same mistakes in life, and hence to disappointment.

Narrow perception of the world

It is impossible to have a broad view and be superficial at the same time. No, not even so, it would be more accurate to say otherwise: it is impossible, having a broad view of things, to remain superficial in life. If a person sees nothing but work and home, he is often perceived as a boring and uninteresting person. A superficial person is not a sentence or fate, he is not born as such, but becomes. If we draw an analogy of life with a tunnel, then the need for the depth of one's own personality and the breadth of knowledge really disappears as unnecessary.

Excessive materialism

Having nothing of value inside, a person tends to reach for everything external. Expecting an expensive car, a beautiful dress, or a new partner to help fill the void within, one desires all of these with amazing vehemence. In fact, as soon as you get what you want, the hole inside begins to gape with renewed vigor. It turns out that material things are not capable of enriching the inner world, but we continue to rely on them too much, partly out of inertia and desperation. In this situation, a person thinks superficially and drives himself into his own trap.

Lack of own opinion

If there are no beliefs and principles inside, it is very difficult to form a concrete opinion about anything. But a person of superficial knowledge will not think about such a problem. In this case, the opinion of the majority is accepted. This seems to be not only easier, but also profitable. Still, the herd instinct is quite strongly developed in humans, and especially in the case of superficial perception.

Hasty evaluation and premature conclusions

To judge fairly or to analyze the action of another person is a laborious work of thought. Doubts, emotions, actions - all this only complicates the matter. Until such an issue is resolved, it floats in the mind and reminds of itself in every possible way. For superficial people, this circumstance is catastrophic, because it makes you think. It will be much easier to simply give out your assessment - “loser”, or draw premature conclusions, they say, you betrayed me. To hear a person in difficult moments is the virtue of very few, and if thinking is superficial at the same time, then this is completely impossible.

Let's find out what life is like in “rose-colored glasses”

Idealization of the world around oneself is also inherent in people of high intellectual abilities. The difference is that individuals with a lively and mobile mind often understand how the world around works, but they simply do not want to accept it, they become simply scared. A superficial person has no idea that life is not always like a fairy tale, and when difficulties come, he is sincerely surprised how it all happened. And if the idea of ​​an ideal world can be forgiven for a child, then when an adult puts on rose-colored glasses, this is a problem that should be solved.

And finally, let's talk about inflated self-esteem

Without having depth within himself, a superficial person cannot look deep into other people. He does not think that they have some worries and difficulties of their own, believing that only he has problems.

Learn more