Dating an older man in your 40s

8 Things to Expect When Dating an Older Man

When it comes to dating, age is just one among many factors to consider as you seek your match. We bring all of our prior life experience to any relationship we enter, so how much does it matter that one person's history is years (or decades) longer than the other's? Here, two experts weigh in on the benefits of dating an older man, as well as the potential drawbacks.

Dating an older man in your 20s and 30s is much different than dating one in your 40s, 50s, and 60s.

While an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman's romance with a younger man, the dynamic isn't exactly stigma-free—particularly when the age gap is significant. When a young woman named Courtney Thornton (née Barber) took flak both online and off in 2016 for falling in love with a man 25 years her senior, she started the hashtag #husbandnotdad to encourage others in the same boat to share their stories. Three years later, search #husbandnotdad on Instagram and you'll find a collection of smiling couples; on Twitter, the same hashtag's happy photos are interspersed with searingly critical comments, which arguably confirms Thornton's point.

When women over 40 find themselves drawn to someone who's older, they are less of a target for those who cry 'daddy issues.' "In your fifties or sixties, most women are independent and financially stable," says Charly Lester, co-founder and CMO of Lumen, a dating app for people over 50. "They're less likely to experience the same judgments and stereotypes if they decide to date an older man at this age."

A range of generation gap-related issues (more on those below) can be easier to bridge when you're over 40 as well. "The older you get, the less of a challenge it's likely to pose," Lester continues. "In terms of life experience and maturity, an age gap at 50 or 60 isn't particularly dramatic."

An older man who's worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship.

Stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says Sherman. "People often ask whether an older man is more mature than a younger one," Sherman adds. "It depends upon the individual and their development and history. That said, extra years of life experience do often lead to greater maturity in relationships, and more life wisdom."

With kids out of the nest, an older man may have more time for you.

Maybe you're dating after a divorce, and you're a single mom who needs to carve out the time for a love life. A man who's already been married and raised kids has no carpool schedules to contend with, which can mean he's got more time to plan amazing dates. According to Lester, if you're seeing someone who is ten or more years older than you, "he's likely to have children who are less dependent on him, and have more free time—which can be particularly helpful if your kids are still more dependent."

If he's retired and you're not, relating to each other can be a challenge.

If his working days are behind him and you're still focused on a job and all the ambitions, woes, and time demands that come with it, you may struggle to connect at the end of the day. "Often relationships are built on similar life experience, and the difference between daily work and retirement can be quite a marked one," Lester explains.

Find out whether your visions for the future match up.

You two may not be picking out wedding rings at this point, but if things start getting serious, it's worth discussing what you both think your next ten-to-twenty years will look like. Do you have any further family ambitions? Are you open to traveling, or moving somewhere else?

"Make sure that you’ve discussed important issues like whether you both want kids, and whether you can mutually support one another’s dreams and the things that make you both happy," Sherman advises. "One person may feel like their goals are winding down and the other is winding up."

You may discover some surprising cultural differences.

So he doesn't know who Cardi B is, and you don't have the same points of nostalgia—that might not bug you at all, and that's just great. But what if you start talking politics and trends, only to discover he's completely immovable in his views? It certainly depends on the individual, but "he may be very set in his ways and can appear less open-minded than younger men," Paulette warns.

Your communication habits may be different.

Or, you know, they might not be. While Sherman says an older man may prefer you to call him rather than sending a string of texts, Lester says that's not necessarily true. "In my experience with running a dating app, there are surprisingly less differences between the way a 30 year old, a 50 year old, and a 70 year old communicate. We have people in their 90s using it!"

Remember that it's about the two of you as individuals, not your age difference.

Your difference in years may elicit some unfortunate assumptions and remarks, but if you truly care about each other, stay focused on how you feel. "Try remembering the things that you love about the person as an individual," says Paulette Sherman, a psychotherapist and certified dating coach. "It’s important to recall why you chose your partner, and not to let outside stigma or judgments dissuade you."

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Samantha VincentySenior Staff Writer

Samantha Vincenty is the former senior staff writer at Oprah Daily.

This content is imported from OpenWeb. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

Dating an older man? 10 serious questions to ask yourself before you commit for the long haul

Do you get turned on by thought of a man who’s got his finances all figured out? Or maybe a salt-and-pepper beard just gets you going? If you answered yes to either of these questions, you might want to consider dating an older man.

Don’t worry, you’re in good company. Amal and George. Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Blake and Ryan. These celebrity couples all have age gaps that span at least 10 years. And they all seem to be making it work.

READ MORE: Meet the couple with a 46-year age-gap: the 23-year-old businesswoman and care worker says it was love at first swipe

But there are a few things you should consider before jumping into a relationship like this, including emotional maturity, finances, children, ex-wives and so much more. So I tapped two relationship experts, clinical psychologist Dr Chloe Carmichael, and integrative holistic psychotherapist Rebecca Hendrix, to break down the most important things you should consider before dating an older man.

1. You may not be in the relationship for all the right reasons

“We don’t really know who someone is for the first two to six months of a relationship,” Hendrix says. So it’s really important to ask yourself why you’re so attracted to any person, but especially one that’s significantly older than you.

You could be projecting stereotypes on to them just because of their age, Hendrix says. Maybe you think they’re more settled or assume that they travel a lot because you met on holiday, but the truth is they’re not even looking for commitment and they only go on holiday once a year. If you’re attracted to someone older, Hendrix usually advises her clients to just bounce the idea off someone you trust first.

2. He may have a lot more — or a lot less — time for you

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If your S.O. is an older man, he may have a more flexible work schedule (or even be retired, if he’s way older), which means more free time for you. This can be refreshing for many women, says Hendrix, especially if you’re used to dating guys who don’t know what they want (out of life or in a relationship). But the truth is, this grateful feeling can be fleeting.

“The things that are very attractive or exciting to you right now are likely to be the same things that annoy or concern you later on,” Hendrix says. Fast-forward a year into the relationship, and his less-than-busy schedule could feel stifling, Hendrix warns. Maybe he wants to go on romantic weekend getaways every Friday, but you can’t leave work until 8 or 9 p.m. because you’re still climbing the corporate ladder and have a few more years of grinding to do. You may find that you two have different ideas about how you want to spend your time together.

On the flip side, you might find that an older man has less time for you than you’d hoped. If he’s in an executive-level position at a company, he might work late nights, which means dinners out with you aren’t going to happen often. Or perhaps he’s just a man of routine (fair, at his age), and work has trumped everything else for so long, quality time just isn’t on the top of his priority list. Are you cool with this? If not, and this is the case, you might want to have a chat — or date younger.

3. You might not be as emotionally mature as you think

Yes, I said it! He’s been in the game longer than you, which means he could be more emotionally intelligent. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You want someone who knows how to fight and handle conflict, Hendrix says.

But you have to be sure you’re on the same emotional maturity level as him. Otherwise, “all of the things that can tend to make a relationship work — shared experience, values, communication, ability to handle conflict — could become obstacles or areas of disconnect,” Hendrix says.

An older man might not want to play the back-and-forth games of a younger gentleman. Instead, he might be super direct and feel comfortable saying exactly what’s on his mind, Carmichael says. But are you? Dating an older man might require you to become more vulnerable and let down a few your typical guards.

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4. There might be an ex-wife or children in his life

If he’s got more than a couple years on you, then he’s likely had a couple more relationships, too. And one of them may have even ended in divorce. Again—not a bad thing. If your man has been through a marriage that didn’t work out, “they tend to approach the second marriage with more care and wisdom, bringing along lessons they learned about themselves as a partner in the previous relationship,” Carmichael says. (Woot!)

That said, if he has kids from that relationship, that’s something else to consider. How old are his kids? Does he see them often? Will you be involved in their lives? This requires a serious conversation. Integrating into his family could prove to be more difficult than you thought, especially if he has older daughters, Carmichael says. Studies show daughters are less receptive to bringing a younger woman into the family, she notes.

READ MORE: 'We dated for 11 years, got married and 6 months later I wanted a divorce' - Does marriage end love?

5. Your life trajectories could be headed in completely different directions

If the older man you’re seeing is someone you’re seriously considering spending the future with, you may want to actually talk about your futures. Chances are, he may have a completely different picture of what the next 10 or 20 years look like. “Even if you were dating someone your own age, you wouldn’t want to assume they had the same trajectory for their life as you did,” Carmichael says. And you definitely don’t want to do that in a relationship with a sizeable age gap, since they probably have a more concrete picture of the next few years.

Maybe you want to get married and have two kids, move out to the country and retire somewhere on a vineyard. But he’s been there, done that. He has the kids, a retirement house far from the city, and is one maintenance payment away from hiding his money offshore. (Let’s hope not.)It’s important to understand what both of you want your lives to look like in the future. Try saying: “I know that you’ve probably already done a lot of the things in life that I want to do,” Carmichael recommends. Then ask him if he’d be willing to do those things (think: marriage, kids, travelling often), again. This gives the person a chance to say, “Yeah, I’d love a second chance at doing those things,” or “No, I’m more interested in enjoying my freedom.” Either way, after this conversation, you can make an informed decision about whether your futures actually align.

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6. Your sex drives may not be the same

“Within every couple, regardless of age, there’s always someone who wants more sex or less sex,” Hendrix says. “But that can be even more pronounced with big age differences. An older person has an older body, and an older body can tend to have less energy and a different sex drive.” But this can also be solved by discussing sex openly and whether both of your needs being met. It’s not a deal breaker… just a tough conversation.

7. Your communication styles might be different

According to Hendrix, older men tend to be good communicators because they have been in serious relationships and they want to get it right this time (remember: emotional maturity). But you might reach a point of conflict when it comes to the style of communication.

“How that filters down into day-to-day connection might have to be negotiated in the relationship,” Hendrix says. Maybe you prefer that he checks on you throughout the day with a “how’s it going” text. But he’d much rather call you on his lunch break, because texting isn’t his “generation”. That’s something that the two of you will have to work out. Learning each other’s love languages might be a great place to start.

8. You get a sneak peek of his future

If you’re dating an older man, you don’t have to worry about what he’ll look like when he gets older. “You already get to see a preview of how the person ages and takes care of himself,” Carmichael says. At this point in his life, he probably has his lifestyle down pat. If he looks and feels good and takes care of himself now, it could be a good sign of how he’ll take care of his health, body and mind later on. That’s something you want in a long-term partner… trust.

9. There may be a slight cultural gap in the relationship

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So he’s not on TikTok and The Bachelor isn’t on his weeknight watch list. Do you really care?“Maybe you want someone who has their finger on the pulse of what’s new, modern or fresh. Not to say that an older person couldn’t do that, but they may not be as up to the minute on every trend,” Carmichael says. It’s something to consider when dating an older man.

But Hendrix says that not having all the same interests or cultural reference points can actually be a really good opportunity to learn from one another. The problem only arises when one person is less flexible or spontaneous, while the other is constantly begging them to try something new. The best fix? You guessed it: compromise.

10. Your financial responsibilities might not mesh well together

If you’re getting serious with an older man and marriage could be in your future, you’re going to want to think about what your combined finances would look like.

“Just as he might be concerned about your student-loan payments, you have a right to be curious about aspects of his financial health,” Carmichael says. Is half of his money tied up in maintenance and child support? Or are his children all grown up and financially independent?

“Openness should be a two-way street,” though, Carmichael says. So if the two of you feel like you’re in the stage of the relationship where combining finances could be in the near future, it’s important to be honest about where your money is going.

Not sure how to start the convo? Carmichael usually advises her clients to just name the issue. “I love where our relationship is headed, and I’m super excited about our future together. But as things get more serious, I’d love to talk about our financial goals, where our money might go in the future and what it’s currently being spent on now.” If a chunk of your salary is going towards loans or a second bond, say that. Then ask him if there are any large financial responsibilities that he’s concerned about. This will create an opportunity for open and honest dialogue. The conversation might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but you definitely want to have this discussion well before the vows, Carmichael says.

P.S. An older guy might have more disposable funds to spend on building a life together—if so, fun!—but that’s no guarantee. And you never want to partner up for money… so go back to point numero uno if you aren’t sure. At the end of the day, you want someone who brings out your best self, and there’s no age limit on that.

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Are you in an age-gap relationship? Have you considered it? Tell us about it here.

Compiled by Afika Jadezweni

This article was originally published in Women's Health SA

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whether to date him, the disadvantages of such a relationship

We fully understand those girls who like men much older - adult men seem completely devoid of the flaws inherent in their peers. But sometimes a serious relationship with a gentleman of respectable age is not a good story. Let's explain why we think so.

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Couples in which the woman is noticeably younger than her chosen one are eye-catching. The people around begin to guess whether she is walking or having lunch in a cafe with her dad or with her lover. It seems that awkwardness in these cases haunts all parties - both observers and the main characters. But our message is not connected with the concepts of youth and old age, as such. When a man in a couple is much older than a woman, the essence of the arguments against this union comes down to objective factors.

He may be an old bachelor

A man who has never been married or has been for a long time. A man who did not have a really serious and really long relationship. Do you know why? Because he never wanted to. And he doesn't want to now. If a man is much older than a woman, she is unlikely to be able to change it.

The problem is that an allegedly serious romance lasting a couple of years suits him perfectly and he will not want to let you go before. And do not hope that you can easily leave or, on the contrary, become for him the very first and only woman whom he will finally marry. We wonder why a girl chooses a man much older than herself, believing in his reliability. But the whole paradox is that, alas, this is not so. In terms of loyalty, he will probably be all yours, but that forever is not a fact at all.

Couples where the woman is older than the man

“Everything will be different with me” is a myth that is very dangerous to believe. Because he is a pro, and you are not even an amateur yet, and so, a cook. How many noteworthy novels have you had? Three? Five? Don't make his moccasins laugh. Before you, he manipulated dozens of women with great success. And he didn't marry a single one. What can you, with your meager (for him) life experience, oppose to this? Couples where the man is much older do not necessarily continue their journey together through the registry office. He is satisfied with everything and he is sure that you are too.

Most likely, he has Pygmalion's syndrome

But, let's say your dear not a convinced bachelor, but just a man who, for one reason or another, turned out to be free in adulthood. Why is this wonderful option bad, the way is a man and much older? The fact that he may well suffer from Pygmalion's syndrome. That is, not to suffer, but to enjoy. You will suffer.

As you remember, the Greek sculptor Pygmalion sculpted a beautiful statue, named it Galatea and immediately fell in love with her - well, he created the ideal. Then the mighty Aphrodite took pity on the unfortunate and revived the statue. And they lived happily ever after. Very cute myth. Especially when you consider that before meeting with Pygmalion, Galatea was just a piece of ivory. But you are still a living person. And meeting a man with Pygmalion syndrome will not bring you anything good.

Very often a mature man starts a relationship with a young woman, hoping to change her "for himself." To put it bluntly - train. Yes, like a dog. They don’t even hide it: “I’ll find myself a young fool and make a comfortable wife out of her.” Therefore, the love of a much older man is more like a desire to avoid loneliness and creating greenhouse conditions around yourself. This is blatant moral violence. And it’s not a fact that you immediately recognize the problem.

You have a different cultural background

“Our common childhood was spent on primer books alone…” — who sang this? If you're in your thirties, you probably know. If it's less, it's unlikely. Well, it doesn't matter, though it was Makarevich.

When a man is much older than a woman, their cultural upbringing and psychology are very different. The problem is that you and your sweetheart did not have any common childhood at all. And common youth. You are people of different generations. You have nothing to remember and discuss, laughing or crying. This man will understand your mother from a half-word, but will not understand you. As, by the way, and you. This is another gross myth - "people are always the same." No. People are always different. How can people be the same, one of whom spent his youth to the songs of Vysotsky, and the other to the songs of Lagutenko?

You will adapt

Someday you will test it for yourself, but for now, just take my word for it: people of respectable age cannot change their habits. And they don't want to. Because it's extremely hard. That's the way we are, and there's nothing you can do about it.

You are frank with your girlfriend: “I love men much older, I am drawn to them...”. But in reality you underestimate the situation and idealize it. Remember your experience of a serious relationship: immediately after the “candy-bouquet” period, the grinding period begins. Partners adjust to each other in order to find the very state in which everything suits everyone.

So, if a man is much older, you and only you will adjust. He will not change anything in himself for the sake of your relationship, and not even because he does not want to. He just can't. When you do this for decades and not otherwise, you will not break out of the hackneyed rut. This is such a tricky feature of our brain, which is always looking for simple ways. In general, do not rely on compromises. They won't.

You will lose your friends

There is such a thing as ageism. Age discrimination. Initially, the term was introduced as a designation for discrimination against the elderly and old people. But Russian sociologists criticize this concept: why only the elderly? For us, ageism works in the opposite direction! There is nothing to be proud of here, but it is true: the problem of "fathers and children" is still relevant.

Ordinary ageism: all about age discrimination

In a couple, when a man is much older than a girl and she has an environment of peers, it will not work to bring him closer to him. This means that your man will never accept your friends. They are "too stupid" for him. And, if you dare to invite your sweetheart to a party with your friends, you will feel as if you brought a hyena on a string into a decent society. Yes, he will bite, yelp and even shit under the table. That is, he will probably start an ugly quarrel on the subject of "the current generation is a generation of idiots. " And of course you will lose your friends. Maybe forever.

And you won't make new friends.

Don't expect to make new friends either. Those close to your man will never become friendly to you. The most you can count on is condescension: "Lovely, what a fool" from men and "Lovely, what a baby" from women. And why do only girls fall in love with much older men, subjecting themselves to similar humiliations and injustices?

Everything that is important to you now, they have already experienced. They have nothing to talk about with you - well, apart from the fact that they are always ready to teach. Do you remember about ageism? You will run into him even if his friends treat you kindly. And there can be no talk of any full-fledged friendship, of course.

Why would a fifty-year-old woman be friends with you, twenty-five? She dreams of a decent end to her career, and yours hasn't even started yet. There are simply no points of contact and mutual understanding. If she is married, then she has long "grown" with her husband into a single whole, and you are on the threshold of a new relationship. She may soon have grandchildren, and you are only thinking about children. But what can I say - she at the concerts of "Kino" "Eighth Grader" voted. Were you even born after Tsoi passed away? In this age sandbox, there will be only envy (for your youth) and complete misunderstanding.

He probably has children

If you like older men, and they are not much inferior in age to your parents, be prepared to meet their children. Most likely they are your peers or slightly younger than you. And if you think that this is not a problem, you are deeply mistaken. Because these children have a mother. Even if your man broke up with her when you walked under the table, the children will compare you with her. Not in your favor, of course.

However, it happens differently, it's true: you can make friends with them. But only if they want it. And if they don’t want to, you will have to put up with the fact that there are and always will be people in his life who hate you. And somehow live with it. That's why being in a relationship with a much older man teaches you to build up a protective armor against hate. Not much fun, to be honest.

It is difficult to raise children together with him

If your man does have children, he may not want new babies. What for? What is the point of going through all these difficulties again, when here they are, ready-made descendants: already grown, already adults. And even if he wants to have more children, you must understand that you will not see any paternal awe. This is a first for you. This is pregnancy for you - a suddenly opened inner universe, and a child is the center of your world. For a man who raised children, everything is different. For him, your common child is just a child. Nothing special. He's already experienced this.

And if he still hasn't had children, it's even worse. For some reason, fathers of respectable age almost always turn into troublesome mother hens with a paranoia. The child will grow up under a glass jar - and you never know what! Will still blow! It's hard. For you. Because holding the glass jar is your responsibility.

As a result, it remains to think what to do with the prospect of parenthood, if you like men who are much older. If this is an important and fundamental issue for you - to become a mother - such moments are discussed in advance. Without wasting months and years on unpromising relationships.

A new world will open up for you - a very unpleasant one

A world about which you probably don't know much yet. The world of doctors, hospitals and drugs. With age, we all break somewhere, there is no getting away from this. And one way or another, you will be involved in all the problems of his body with mileage. The most annoying thing is why women choose men much older than themselves and forget about this key side of the issue?!

His back hurts in the morning. He cannot go on a spree all night - then he will lie in bed for two days. He must regularly take the prescribed drugs and be examined because he has some kind of chronic sore. Hypertension. Ulcer. Haemorrhoids. Are you sure that you really want to know all this and become a free nurse in the prime of your life?

He is morbidly jealous

There are exceptions to this rule, but they are very rare. In every young man who is next to you, your sweetheart will see a potential rival. Because any youngster in the future will acquire everything that your man already has: life experience and financial well-being will not go anywhere from him if he is not a fool.

But your man will no longer have a strong, young and beautiful body. Everything, finita. And if you think that jealousy will please you, you are mistaken. Because there are a lot of young men. Lots of. So it’s easier to deprive you of your personal freedom: throw wild scenes at you for being 5 minutes late, arrange interrogations with passion and demand constant proof of love from you. Nightmare story. When you once again share with your friends the problem a la “I fall in love with men much older”, remember that passions will rage more likely in his unfounded accusations, and not in bed.

You are too much for him

We become less emotional as we age, it's true. A worn out nervous system must be protected. This is another reason why girls like much older men. Less Italian passions and slamming the door, which with a young lover can be unrealistically fed up.

But here there is a bias in the other direction. The excitement that fills your week will be enough for a woman of his age for a month, and for him himself for a year. What makes you seriously worry, he has already lived and experienced. If he doesn’t have empathy, you won’t get any support: “What are you doing nonsense, everything will pass, and this too.” If his empathy is highly developed, he will move away from you. Because you are too much for him. It is hard for him to get involved in so many joys and problems. Tu match. A safe harbor without much manifestation of feelings and emotions. Complete calm.

And one more thing...

We have to disappoint you, but erectile dysfunction is getting younger. Especially in metropolitan areas. If at first sex with a much older man you may be madly in love with the manifestation of reverent care and special tenderness, then it remains to play roulette. What if it doesn't shoot today?

So, maybe you have 10 years of active sex life ahead of you, and then... And then you will be 40, and he will be 65. And, you know, that is not pleasant enough. Very little. And this most pleasant thing will have to be literally mined. And, since we are talking about sex, it is important to understand this: he already had everything. What is an exciting discovery for you, for him is a pleasant repetition of the material covered. We don't think it's very interesting. Especially considering the fact that even this joy, in general, is not for long.

What to do if he lost his erection

Even examples of on-screen unions cannot convince us that too much age difference is great for both partners. As captivating as the film is, the passion shown in a couple where the man is much older than the woman remains only the director's imagination.

Action movie with incomparable Catherine Zeta-Jones and brutal Sean Connery "The Trap" attracts with an exciting plot, but not with a love line. He is professional 69-year-old thief, and she is a 30-year-old insurance company interrogator. Although they, in fact, have a single craft, this tandem looks ridiculous.

There are also opposite options for the development of intrigue. Movies where the woman is much older than the man, for the most part, end with a sad denouement. The touching story of Kate Winslet and Ralph Fiennes in the drama The Reader is striking in its tragedy and depth. And these relationships are doomed.

Dating a man 29 years older

04 July 2021, 15:53

04 July 2021, 15:54

04 July 2021, 15:57

04 July 2021, 1521, 1521. 15:57

Only you understand that this is not for long.

July 04, 2021, 16:01

July 04 2021, 16:12

04 July 2021, 16:19 3

ADELINA

He replied that it will be regarded as my personal choice, and will no longer claim my love. Then, after a pause, he said that if I was ready for such a relationship, then he was ready to live together with me, that is, I automatically moved to live with him. Tonight he invited me to a restaurant... He said that the date he wants to talk about me is very serious. I don’t know what to do, he is waiting for an answer, and I specifically took a back seat.
By the way, we've known each other for over a year. During all this time, we never slept together, neither I nor he gave direct hints of sex, a maximum of kissing on the cheek. Although we both understand that we both want this and it is high time. At least he is already ready, and I'm breaking, I can't (I'm also a virgin). He attracts me 100% as a man, and I myself am already at the limit when I am next to him, but I am terribly afraid of the condemnation of others, what if someone finds out? This, in fact, is considered a shame in society. Moreover, outwardly we look, to put it mildly ... A rather non-standard couple. Let us both be thin, take care of ourselves, the same height, it’s still a difference in the face, especially since I look 16 in my 20s. Recently, once again walking together, two women, asking us for directions, mistook us for a father and daughter . I'm desperate. On the other hand - we live once, maybe try? Moreover, I never had a relationship, as such, at all, especially sex. I was always bored with my peers, I always considered them narrow-minded and stupid: "Ayo rap rap vodka beer." By the way, he is well-to-do and knows how to make money. He has his own apartment in a new building, a car, a dacha. And there is also a son from a previous marriage, who is only three years younger than me. The son lives with his mother.
How should I be? It's all so wrong... One plus will not go for a walk to the left 😁 it's up to you, write the pros and cons for yourself, you will see there will be many minuses. Sooner or later you will be drawn to you, you can’t run away from the young by nature.

July 04, 2021 04:46 PM

#10

July 04, 2021 04:53 PM

#11

July 04, 2021, 17:21

#12

🌱🌊Elle🌬️🔥

If you really want, you can try. Only you understand that this is not for long.

04 July 2021, 17:24

#13

July 2021, 17:28

#14

04 July 2021, 17:35

9000 #15

04 July July 04 July July 04, 2021, 05:55

#17

Guest

To you by age this male is the most, grab, you are also a forty

04 July 2021, 18:27

#18

Guest

and that is not a fact that will not go to the left 🤔

July 04, 2021, 22:41

#19

Adeline

He replied that he would regard my refusal as my personal choice, and would no longer claim my love. Then, after a pause, he said that if I was ready for such a relationship, then he was ready to live together with me, that is, I automatically moved to live with him. Tonight he invited me to a restaurant... He said that the date he wants to talk about me is very serious. I don’t know what to do, he is waiting for an answer, and I specifically took a back seat.
By the way, we've known each other for over a year. During all this time, we never slept together, neither I nor he gave direct hints of sex, a maximum of kissing on the cheek. Although we both understand that we both want this and it is high time. At least he is already ready, and I'm breaking, I can't (I'm also a virgin). He attracts me 100% as a man, and I myself am already at the limit when I am next to him, but I am terribly afraid of the condemnation of others, what if someone finds out? This, in fact, is considered a shame in society. Moreover, outwardly we look, to put it mildly ... A rather non-standard couple. Let us both be thin, take care of ourselves, the same height, it’s still a difference in the face, especially since I look 16 in my 20s. Recently, once again walking together, two women, asking us for directions, mistook us for a father and daughter . I'm desperate. On the other hand - we live once, maybe try? Moreover, I never had a relationship, as such, at all, especially sex. I was always bored with my peers, I always considered them narrow-minded and stupid: "Ayo rap rap vodka beer." By the way, he is well-to-do and knows how to make money. He has his own apartment in a new building, a car, a dacha. And there is also a son from a previous marriage, who is only three years younger than me. The son lives with his mother.
How should I be? This is all so wrong ...

04 July 2021, 23:18

#20,0003

04 July 2021, 23:22 3

#21

04 July 2021, 23:40

#22

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July 04, 2021, 23:47

#23

Julia

Apparently you didn’t have any money, that’s why he attracted you, apartment, cottage, car))) the man wants a young body;)

July 05, 2021, 00:04

#24

Macedonia

Excuse me, the author, how can you go to bed that is suitable for Fathers. One plus will not go for a walk to the left 😁 it's up to you, write the pros and cons for yourself, you will see there will be many minuses. Sooner or later you will be drawn to you, you can’t run away from the young by nature.

July 05, 2021, 01:08

#25

Guest

I understand you. I had a relationship with a difference of 22 years (it's a little smaller, but still somehow a lot). I was 20? he is 42. But! This was not my first man! Therefore, you have more responsibility. I probably wouldn't recommend it. My experience was a long time ago (I am now 38), then there was still a fashion for "daddies". Although he did not fit this definition, he was a creative person - a photo artist. Offered to act as a model. The relationship lasted 2 years, and the friendship lasted 5 years. He taught me a lot (for example, 100% contraception). I haven't had a single abortion. Thanks to him for this. He knew a lot of interesting things - there was always something to talk about. Outwardly, he was tall and slender, similar in type to David Copperfield. Not a single peer has yet given me as much as he did!!! Personal life did not work out. Was not married for long, her husband absurdly died. I live with 1 child and my mother. But it has nothing to do with him!

05 July 2021, 05:21

#26

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05 July 2021, 07:41 #29

Adeline

July 05, 2021, 10:13

#30

Adeline

He replied that he would regard my refusal as my personal choice and would no longer claim my love . Then, after a pause, he said that if I was ready for such a relationship, then he was ready to live together with me, that is, I automatically moved to live with him. Tonight he invited me to a restaurant... He said that the date he wants to talk about me is very serious. I don’t know what to do, he is waiting for an answer, and I specifically took a back seat.
By the way, we've known each other for over a year. During all this time, we never slept together, neither I nor he gave direct hints of sex, a maximum of kissing on the cheek. Although we both understand that we both want this and it is high time. At least he is already ready, and I'm breaking, I can't (I'm also a virgin). He attracts me 100% as a man, and I myself am already at the limit when I am next to him, but I am terribly afraid of the condemnation of others, what if someone finds out? This, in fact, is considered a shame in society. Moreover, outwardly we look, to put it mildly ... A rather non-standard couple. Let us both be thin, take care of ourselves, the same height, it’s still a difference in the face, especially since I look 16 in my 20s. Recently, once again walking together, two women, asking us for directions, mistook us for a father and daughter . I'm desperate. On the other hand - we live once, maybe try? Moreover, I never had a relationship, as such, at all, especially sex. I was always bored with my peers, I always considered them narrow-minded and stupid: "Ayo rap rap vodka beer." By the way, he is well-to-do and knows how to make money. He has his own apartment in a new building, a car, a dacha. And there is also a son from a previous marriage, who is only three years younger than me. The son lives with his mother.
How should I be? It's all so wrong...

July 05, 2021, 11:36

#32

Guest

What is your relationship with your mother? Can you ask her for advice?

July 05, 2021, 12:00

#33July 05, 2021 Then you will realize that you look at many things differently. My husband and I are 25 years apart. We got together when I was 25 and he was -50. Together for over 30 years. I often regretted that I didn’t leave him in time, the characters are too different. If you are not married and not burdened with children, let go of prejudice and enjoy the feelings.

July 05, 2021, 14:55

#36

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05 July 2021, 15:06

#37

05 July 2021, 17:07

#38

05 July 2021, 21:03:03

#39

05 July 2021, 21:04

#40

Guest

In 40 you exchange it for two at 35

06 July 2021, 08:56

#41

Guest

003

It is strange that such a man is not married and has no children? How so? It's not a boy anymore.

July 06 2021, 10:26

#42

06 July 2021, 10:54 2021, 15:31

#45

Macedonia

Excuse me author, well, how can you go to bed that is suitable for Fathers. One plus will not go for a walk to the left 😁 it's up to you, write the pros and cons for yourself, you will see there will be many minuses. Sooner or later you will be drawn to you, you can’t run away from the young by nature.

July 06, 2021, 23:02

#46

Adeline

Learn more

Dating an older man in your 40s

8 Things to Expect When Dating an Older Man

Dating an older man in your 20s and 30s is much different than dating one in your 40s, 50s, and 60s.

An older man who's worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship.

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Your communication habits may be different.

Remember that it's about the two of you as individuals, not your age difference.

Dating an older man? 10 serious questions to ask yourself before you commit for the long haul

1. You may not be in the relationship for all the right reasons

2. He may have a lot more — or a lot less — time for you

3. You might not be as emotionally mature as you think

4. There might be an ex-wife or children in his life

5. Your life trajectories could be headed in completely different directions

6. Your sex drives may not be the same

7. Your communication styles might be different

8. You get a sneak peek of his future

9. There may be a slight cultural gap in the relationship

10. Your financial responsibilities might not mesh well together

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He may be an old bachelor

Most likely, he has Pygmalion's syndrome

You have a different cultural background

You will adapt

You will lose your friends

And you won't make new friends.

He probably has children

It is difficult to raise children together with him

A new world will open up for you - a very unpleasant one

He is morbidly jealous

You are too much for him

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