How to make your relationship successful

Apply These 10 Tips to Make Your Relationship Successful

Building a solid relationship is what everybody craves for. But having a successful relationship seems to be difficult for most people in the society. To have a good grasp on the topic, it is paramount that one understands what exactly successful relationship is.

In simple terms, a successful relationship is a relationship that has stood up through thick and thin. OK! With that being said, allow me the opportunity to ask you just one question. How can you achieve a successful relationship? The answer is quite simple! Just apply these 10 tips listed below, and see your relationship turn around for good.

1. Build Trust

Trust is the bedrock of love which matures with time. You need to be patient so as to accomplish trust. The truth is that trust makes you open and not hesitant in sharing your dreams, achievement, fears, worries, etc. In order to help your partner understand the real you better. That is what trust does in building a stable, successful relationship.

2. Be a Good Listener

You will come to agree with me that this is one big problem destroying many relationships. We want to be in control at all times, forgetting that to understand another’s point of view, you need to listen carefully. Listening births understanding which is a very important ingredient for a successful relationship.

3. Engage In a Hobby or Activity Together

To gain happiness and satisfaction in your relationship, you need to work on something that can increase your bond like board games, watching movies, house painting, etc. More so, talk to your spouse about your expectations and requirements in a relationship. Ask your partner questions jokingly in a calm tone if there is any area he or she needs to see an adjustment or improvement. Question and activities like this go a long way in making your bond stronger.

4. Gesture of Love

Compliment goes the extra mile than vague verbal pats on the back. It helps to reinforce a real connection with your partner. Never in your lifetime, hesitate to give a warm hug or kiss to your partner. It gives a calm feeling even when they are angry.

5. Maintaining Financial Peace

This is one of the reasons, many homes are broken today, that the other earns higher shouldn't bring silly quarrels and contempt. There should be humility as money can bring disagreements between couples. Stop the attitude and work on yourself. Do not ruin your relationship with receipt and records of who paid for what.

6. Create a Special Feeling

It is good to try new things. Make your life an adventurous one with your partner by planning a romantic dinner, go camping, etc. Learn to take out time from the piled busy schedule to spend quality time with your partner. It solidifies your relationship thereby making it a successful one.

7. Be Supportive

Always motivate your spouse in good and bad times. Give them strength by being supportive in their worst weakest moments and appreciate them as well in their achievement. This is one area that has been overlooked by so many individuals which have resulted in different broken relationship. Be supportive and motivate your spouse today and build a stronger successful relationship.

8. Apologize

The keyword to winning the heart of your partner is the ability to say I am sorry every single moment you falter in action and character. If you made a mistake or did wrong, and requires you saying “I am sorry”. Just say it from the bottom of your heart and release yourself from that burden.

9. Space

There is an ego in every human likewise a child. Every individual needs some alone time or needs to grab a drink with a friend to reminisce the good old days. As partners, for you to have a successful relationship, you should respect your spouse feeling. Do not try to put an end to your partner’s friendship with other people.

10. Respect

Finally, never hurt each other by using unkind words. Learn to be patient. You can never fall in love in an instant and expect it to last. A successful relationship requires loads of practice and patience. You need to understand that the pendulum will swing as it is not always about milk and honey in a relationship. But when that time comes, application of the 10 tips mentioned above will help you stay strong and above waters.

According to Dr. Tina Tessina (Ph.D.), author of Money, Sex, and Kids; the most important element of making a relationship work is team work. Avoid playing tug of war with each other as it won't get you anywhere. Like the acronyms that say “United we stand, divided we fall. “You can accomplish anything as partners. Take for example the passion in supporting your team in sports. All of that delight, enthusiasm, joy, friends, etc. You exhibit for the good team. Why not bring a little of that spirit to your relationship and see it soar successfully like the eagle. Always remember that mistakes happen as nobody is perfect. It is better to clear the air lest a small mistake yields a big argument.

For more information, visit our couples counseling page or call 919-647-4600 to book for a session.

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How to Have a Successful Relationship: 10 Relationship Tips

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Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — By Ahmed Raza on November 14, 2015

Love is undoubtedly the most important aspect of any relationship, but it is not enough by itself. To become trusted and loving partners for life, both of you have to put in considerable time and effort. Below are some tips that can get you started.

Relationships come with ups and downs. Don’t expect to be happy all the time. Be open to disappointments, too, and use them as an opportunity to know your partner better. This is particularly relevant for long-distance relationships, as lack of physical presence increases friction. A positive attitude during such difficult times leads to happier relationships.
Understand, accept and appreciate. Make sure you put in the time and effort to understand your partner. Know what the other person likes to do, and also keep in mind that preferences and priorities change. Accept your partner the way he or she is, and appreciate their actions.
It is “we,” not “you” or “I.” When you refer to you and your partner as “we”, you are subconsciously considering both of you to be a single entity. This simple word enhances bonding and trust in a big way – even if your partner is not physically around. In fact, a study conducted by the University of California, Berkeley shows that couples who used the word “we” tend to be calmer, happier and more satisfied with their relationship when compared to those who use “you” or “I.”
Gratitude helps. When you start feeling grateful for the things that your partner says and does, your relationship is sure to blossom. Research shows that gratitude reduces feelings of hate and pain as you tend to focus only on the positive side of your partner. In a study conducted by Rita Watson of Yale University, 77 heterosexual couples were asked to follow a three-day gratitude plan, and at the end of it, they felt more vitalized and positive about their partner. Such positive feelings go a long way in maintaining relationships.
Explore new avenues. Problems start creeping into relationships when one or both get bored of the routine. To invigorate your relationship, explore new places, try new activities together, laugh with each other, do something ridiculous or do just about anything together that makes both of you happy. Such actions create a sense of excitement that you and your partner will look forward to.
Exhibit physical affection. Get physical with your partner, such as kissing, holding hands, scratching the back or giving a hug, just to let your partner know that you love and care about them. A study by Arizona State University shows that such physical affection increases the feel-good hormones, improves mood and releases stress. If you are in a long-distance relationship, call frequently and let the other person know that you are thinking of him or her.
Provide support. No human being is perfect! When your partner makes mistakes or is going through a hard time at work, show your physical and emotional support. Talk to your partner, give compliments often, listen when he or she is upset and help with work if you can. At the same time, don’t get too bossy and overbearing.
Create milestones together. When you and your partner work toward the same cause, you are more likely to focus on each other’s positive side. Set common goals such as saving toward a vacation, your children’s college funds or anything else that is meaningful to both of you. Working harmoniously toward such goals can further strengthen your relationship.

Fulfill your obligations. Relationships come with obligations. Be aware of them, and fulfill them to make your partner happy. At the same time, ensure that you’re not sacrificing your private space; you have to be happy, too. If you’re not comfortable with doing some things, talk about it with your partner.
Communicate. Human beings are social animals, and communication is an innate need. Talk, text and message each other frequently to build a strong relationship. Be a good listener too, when your partner wants to share his or her day with you.

In short, strong relationships do not just happen. Rather, you have to build them with love, passion, understanding, tolerance, acceptance and appreciation. Start today to become loving partners for life!

Happy couple photo available from Shutterstock

Last medically reviewed on November 14, 2015

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Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — By Ahmed Raza on November 14, 2015

10 Rules for Successful Relationships

We have prepared for you a very loose translation of a very long post by popular English-speaking blogger Mark Manson on long-term relationships and marriage.

Mark asked many people who have been married for more than 10 years and do not plan to get divorced, what is the secret of a strong family. The answers he received showed that all happy couples are happy for the same reasons.

The article will be useful to everyone who cares not only about a career, but also about a full-fledged relationship with the right person.

Reason #1. Marry/be in a serious relationship only for the right reasons

Many who have divorced and remarried explain that first marriages ended in divorce because they were for the wrong reasons. They can be very different: pressure from relatives and friends; the feeling that it is time for you to settle down; the desire to be a beautiful couple, because you look good together; a naive thought, as if with a sweet paradise and in a hut . .. All this seems logical. But it only seems, because there can be only one reason for marriage: you should just want to be close to this person - that's what people with experience say.

The only thing that really works is sincere admiration for each other. But, as is often the case, getting married so that someone makes you happy is straight forward to codependency. And this has never been good for anyone.

Reason No. 2. Don't harbor false hopes

When getting married, lovers often think that they will always keep their feelings sharp, and when the intensity of emotions subsides, they think that the family is falling apart. Love is a strange thing. When the head is spinning, we are ready to forgive the partner for any mistakes and turn a blind eye to shortcomings. But it will not last forever, at most - a few years. And then the puppy delight with which we look into the eyes of a loved one disappears. And as soon as the thrill of love passes, there is no need to think that love has passed and you are on the verge of divorce. You just need to learn to love a person as he is, respect him and be glad that he is around.

True love is a choice: to be with a person, despite the circumstances, despite the fact that he does not always make you happy. It's difficult, but it's also valuable.

Reason #3: Respect is the most important thing in a relationship worries. However, those who have 20, 30, 40 years of marriage behind them say that the most important thing is respect for each other.

The fact is that conflicts in couples are inevitable, and we will hurt each other's feelings, no matter how much we want to avoid it. And the only thing that will help you stay together is mutual respect, the feeling that you value each other above all else, trust each other and trust that your partner will do what is best for both of you. Just do not forget that you also need to respect yourself. Both you and the other half.

Reason #4. Be frank about everything

Still, you need to talk, especially about what hurts you. If something doesn't suit you in a relationship, you should definitely say it: when we talk frankly, it creates a sense of trust, which creates intimacy. It can be painful, but you still need to do it, because no one will fix your relationship but you.

Trust is also needed in order to cope with such an unpleasant feeling as jealousy. We all need to understand that a partner may have other interests, they can communicate with other people, and it is not worth getting angry when you see that they are talking to someone else.

Reason No. 5. Healthy relationships are found in healthy individuals

In any marriage, something has to be sacrificed for the sake of another person. But the problem is that if the relationship is maintained only because someone gives up their interests for the sake of another, sooner or later it will end in a break. A relationship based on sacrifice is doomed.

Healthy, happy relationships can only be maintained by healthy, happy individuals. The key word is "personality". This means that people should have their own ideas about themselves, personal interests, their own hobbies to which they devote time.

Reason #6: Leave space for each other

One of the most important things in a relationship is not to completely merge into each other. The secret of success is different bank accounts, different credit cards, different friends and hobbies. Even holidays can be spent separately. Some of those who have given advice to newlyweds even suggest using separate bathrooms and toilets, but this is difficult to do in Russia.

It sounds strange - indeed, many are afraid to let go of their partner and give him freedom. And all because people lack trust - they are not confident in themselves and their relationships. It often seems to us that if we let a loved one go somewhere on their own, it will turn out that he no longer needs us. Unfortunately, the inability to let go of a partner means that we do not respect him. And this means that we do not respect ourselves. After all, is it really possible to seriously think that a wife or husband will be taken away from us at a corporate party?

Reason #7: Be prepared to change.

When people have been married for more than 20 years, they may find themselves much different than they were two decades ago. Be prepared for the fact that in 20 years you will wake up and find that the person who lies next to you is not at all the same as before, and here you will need to learn to love him.

Of course, this will happen if you let your other half be yourself, mind your own business and develop in your own direction - and you yourself will do it too. But when you change, do not forget to discuss what is happening to you - then you will be able to both respect and accept each other.

Reason No. 8. Learn to quarrel properly

We already know that quarrels in a couple are inevitable, but you need to sort things out correctly. There are a few rules that must not be broken. First of all, you can not criticize the personal qualities of a partner: no “you are dumb / dumb” - only “you are doing stupid things”. You should not take a defensive position in the conflict, like “I would not have done/did it if you hadn’t…”. It is forbidden to impose a feeling of guilt on a partner. And, of course, you can’t refuse if a loved one wants to speak out: running away from a quarrel with the words “that’s it, I’m not going to discuss it” is the right way to break off relations.

Reason #9. Learn the art of forgiveness

It's hard to believe, but even in the strongest families there are insoluble contradictions. There are problems about which we will never agree with each other, and the only way out in this case is to come to terms with it. And it is also a matter of respect for each other.

The fact is that if we allow each other to remain themselves, then we will inevitably have different positions on some issues. Political views, for example: yes, there are couples who broke up because of different views on Russia's position on Crimea or Syria, but honestly, how can you get divorced because the person you love votes for or against Putin? You cannot impose your opinion on another person, and if you are trying to do this, then you do not respect him.

Reason No. 10. Allow yourself little pleasures

Going to the movies together, having lunch together during work hours, going out on the weekends - these may seem like little things, but they are what make you a family. If you devote all your time only to the joint arrangement of life, go to hypermarkets for shopping on weekends, and discuss bills and payments at dinner, sooner or later you will turn from spouses into neighbors.

Paying attention to the little things: holding hands at the movies, saying “I love you” to each other before bed, remembering to close the tube of toothpaste or throwing things around if it annoys your partner, all this will help you once again emphasize that you appreciate and respect him.

Conclusions

1. Long-term stable relationships are work. It’s not that we don’t know this, but when you are in love and think that you will spend your whole life with this person, you somehow can’t believe that sooner or later the sharpness of feelings will go away and you will find yourself face to face with a real person: with your interests and hobbies.

2. A family will always stay strong if you give each other the right to be yourself, including spending time with your friends, having personal hobbies and your own political views.

3. The most important thing in a relationship is respect and trust in each other. These things, of course, are interconnected - one cannot exist without the other. Know how to let go of your partner: do not cling to him with a stranglehold. You do not want the person with you to be so stuffy that he leaves?

Text: Anna Vinogradova, Illustrations: Konstantin Amelin, Photo: Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

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3 secrets of happy relationships followed by less than 1% of people - Personal experience on vc.ru

In recent years, according to statistics, more than 50% of married couples have broken up in the CIS countries. Just imagine - more than half! And that's just the official statistics. How many people do not file for divorce, continue to live together, but do not communicate or constantly sort things out. A large number of couples break up before marriage.

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If you imagine the real numbers, what percentage of people really love each other and are happy together, it becomes a little scary. Units. To be convinced of this, look at your relationships, at your friends, acquaintances. How many of these couples do you personally know?

And why? Because instead of learning to build relationships, we taught mathematics, physics, chemistry. Can you imagine how cool it would be if there was a subject in school that teaches you how to build relationships with other people?

The system is built in such a way that throughout life we are engaged in the development of only our IQ. And we believe that it is he who determines our success in life. Undoubtedly, the level of intelligence is important to build a successful life. At the same time, he cannot guarantee success in building relationships with other people. It remains to learn only from their own experience and the experience of their parents. And such an experience is often not a positive one. What to do in this case?

Develop your emotional intelligence! It is emotional intelligence that determines how happy or unhappy you will be in relationships with other people. After all, the strongest friendship, the strongest love is built not on the level of our IQ, but on other things.

I-Feel-you

Which ones exactly? What do you need to do to build a happy and strong relationship?

Understand and share emotions.

Precisely because we put all our efforts into learning to "think", we completely forgot how to feel. We became afraid of our own and other people's emotions, so we stopped sharing them. Correctly! It’s easier to discuss the weather, problems at work, everyday issues - it’s “much more important” than what is happening inside us. It's sarcasm!

Recall a time when you felt the most intimate with your partner. Remember when, after some quarrel, when everyone did not understand each other, you began to talk about how you feel. And how everything became immediately clear and easy. When we began to understand why our significant other is angry or upset. When we ourselves understood what was happening to us.

This is the first and one of the most important secrets of relationships - understanding and sharing emotions gives freedom in relationships. When we understand how we feel, we can explain to the partner in an understandable way what is happening to us and what we want. When we allow ourselves to share, we feel the most real intimacy, because we begin to speak in a completely different language. The language of feelings is the main language of relationships that can be negotiated.

2. Understand and meet your needs and your partner's needs

We need relationships for what? Everyone determines for himself. But, in general, we need them in order to get more pleasure and joy, to be happier than alone.

The simplest and, at the same time, the most difficult question: "What do I want?"

The answer to this question determines our needs - what we need in order to be content and happy.

Can you talk to your partner about your wants and needs? Can you ask him to help you fulfill them? What are you willing to do in return?

Most often there are 3 pictures in a relationship.

When a partner does not know what he wants and needs, so he cannot even tell or ask about it. As a result, there is an expectation that the other half should find out for him. But, he cannot do this, and as a result, the relationship is full of disappointment, unfulfilled expectations and discontent.

When a person knows about his needs and desires, but does not talk about them because he is afraid. Afraid to be uncomfortable, once again "strain" a person, etc. As a result, he is silent, and only does what satisfies the needs of the partner, and “scores” on his own.

When a person knows what he needs, he talks about it, but is not ready to give and do something for another himself. As a result, relationships only work in one direction. One always takes and the other always gives. Over time, it no longer turns into a relationship between a man and a woman, but into a relationship between a parent and a child.

Sad, but as it is. As taught, so to speak. But, there is another version of the development of events, where everyone is fine. Yes, yes, yes, it exists!

Everything starts to go much better when each of the partners understands what he needs, knows what is important for him, can BOLDLY declare this to his soulmate and is ready to hear the same from his soulmate.

How does this help in building happy relationships?

Most often, we can guess what our loved one wants, but we cannot know for sure. Therefore, it is very cool when he can tell us about it directly. This ensures that the needs and desires of the couple will be satisfied in both directions. Or, at least, they will know about them for sure, and not speculate. We get the real freedom in relationships.

3. Have common goals in relationships and achieve them together

Over time, after a year or two or three, the storm of feelings that was at first subsides a bit and the relationship becomes insipid, understandable, familiar. The energy on which they started is gradually depleting its reserve, and there is no new replenishment.

Lack of common goals in a relationship is a very common reason for parting. Children may be a common goal for a while, but what about when they begin to grow or they are not there yet? Therefore, it is worth thinking, discussing, shaping and moving towards common goals!

Goals are what gives energy, this is the third important secret of a happy relationship. Common goals bring together cooler than common problems. You know the saying: "The best friend is known in trouble?" And you may have noticed that you can rally when a threat arises and become a "combat unit" if you really need to. That's just a survival strategy, where there is neither pleasure nor satisfaction from relationships.

So "a partner is known for common purposes." Problems are always about the past. Goals are about the future. When you and your loved one are united by a common idea, desire and move together in this direction, it fills you with energy that was not there even at the very beginning. This is what strengthens and develops your relationship.

Thus, the answer to the question: "How to build a happy relationship?" is to understand and share your emotions, understand and talk about your needs in both directions and go together towards common goals! It seems to be unrealistic. But, we assure you this is more than real. These are all skills that are trained throughout life.

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