Work on marriage

10 Things to Try Before Giving Up On Your Marriage

The recipe for failure in a marriage is waiting for the other person to change.

Seth and Kayla, both in their late forties and married for fifteen years, are considering divorce. “I’m done with this marriage,” complains Kayla. “I feel unloved and rejected by Seth, we don’t have an emotional connection and rarely have sex anymore.”

Seth puts it like this: “Kayla loves the kids more than me and she’s always on the attack. She keeps threatening to leave, and that might be the best option.”

Many couples like Seth and Kayla are ready to throw in the towel and want quick solutions to save their marriage. Truth be told, this is a common problem, but the solutions are never easy.

A Radical Shift in Mindset

The good news is that if you are willing to put effort into rescuing your marriage, there are things you can do that can give you a fresh start. Breaking the cycle of an unhappy relationship dynamic requires a radical shift in mindset.

Taking responsibility for your part in the conflict or dispute is a great starting point. One person’s ability to do this can change the entire dynamic of the relationship.

Studies show that the most common reason why couples develop serious difficulties is that one or both partners withdraw due to feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment. In this study of 14,000 participants, Dr. Paul Schrodt found that women were usually (but not always) the ones who demanded or pursued and men tended to withdraw or distance.

Stop the Blame Game

Many couples play the blame game, leading to a pursuer-distancer dance that causes one partner to chase the other around. After a while, they are no longer addressing the issue at hand and enter into a vicious cycle of resentment, frustration, and anger.

Relationship expert Dr. Harriet Lerner explains that the recipe for failure in a marriage is waiting for the other person to change. Rather than giving up on their marriage, couples need to lean toward each other. She writes, “It’s the dissatisfied partner who usually is motivated to change. If you don’t take some new action on your own behalf, no one else will do it for you.”

While it’s natural to want to give up when your partner becomes distant, reacting expands the divide between you. Instead, Dr. Lerner recommends that you take responsibility for warming things up and increase positive reinforcement. You can say things like, “You’re so thoughtful to clean the kitchen” which highlights your partner’s positive qualities and things you admire about them.

Practicing what Dr. John Gottman calls emotional attunement can help you stay connected in spite of your differences. This means “turning toward” one another, listening, and showing empathy rather than “turning away.” Dr. Gottman recommends a 5:1 ratio of interactions – meaning for every negative interaction, you need five positive ones.

Dr. Gottman discovered in over 40 years of research with thousands of couples that the number one solution to marital problems is to get good at repair. He calls it the “secret weapon” of emotionally intelligent couples.

Below are 10 things to try before giving up on your marriage, based on the work of Dr. John Gottman.

1. Complain without blame
Have you developed a habit of criticizing your partner? Talking about specific issues will reap better results than attacking your partner. For instance, a complaint is: “I was worried when you didn’t call me. We agreed that we’d check in when one of us was running late.” Versus a criticism: “You never follow through, you’re so selfish.”

2. Repair conflicts skillfully
Don’t put aside resentments that can destroy your relationship. Dr. Gottman’s research informs us that 69% of conflicts in a marriage never get resolved, so the focus needs to be managing them successfully. Bouncing back from disagreements rather than avoiding conflict is key because couples who strive to avoid it are at risk of developing stagnant relationships.

3. Stay focused on the issues at hand
Ask yourself: What am I trying to accomplish? Avoid name-calling and don’t attack your partner personally. Remember anger is usually a symptom of underlying hurt, fear, and frustration. So ask questions that go deeper to understand the positive need your partner is seeking. Avoid defensiveness and showing contempt for your partner (rolling your eyes, ridicule, name-calling, sarcasm, etc.).

4. Boost up physical affection
According to author Dr. Kory Floyd, holding hands, hugging, and touching can release oxytocin (the bonding hormone) that causes a calming sensation. Studies show that it’s released during sexual orgasm and affectionate touch as well. Physical affection also reduces stress hormones – lowering daily levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

5. Nurture fondness and admiration
Remind yourself of your partner’s positive qualities – even as you grapple with their flaws – and express your positive feelings out loud several times each day. Search for common ground rather than insisting on getting your way when you have a disagreement. Listen to his/her point of view and avoid shutting yourself off from communication.

6. Spend time with your partner on a daily basis
Try a variety of activities that bring you both pleasure. Kyle Benson recommends that couples adopt a new way of structuring their “How was your day, dear?” conversation that shows empathy, expresses understanding, and validates emotions. Feeling like your partner is on your side can help you to sustain a deep, meaningful bond and a “we against others” attitude.

7. Communicate honestly about key issues in your relationship
Be sure to be forthcoming about your concerns and express your thoughts, feelings, and wishes in a respectful way. Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don’t bury negative feelings.

8. Don’t allow wounds to fester
Challenge your beliefs and self-defeating thoughts about your partner’s behavior when you find it to be negative. Listen to your partner’s side of the story. Are there times when you feel mistrustful or hurt even when he/she presents evidence to the contrary about your grievance?

9. Develop a Hurt-Free Zone policy
This term coined by author David Akiva refers to a period when criticism is not allowed. Without it, couples usually feel less defensive and so hurt feelings dissolve. Akiva writes: “Your prime directive right now is to eliminate the most toxic negative communication and reduce intense negative emotions for 3 to 4 weeks.”

10. Practice forgiveness
Forgiveness isn’t the same as condoning hurtful actions but it will allow you to move on. Try to remember you are on the same team. Accept that people do the best they can and try to be more understanding.

It is understandable that you might feel hurt, frustrated, resentful, or rejected if you perceive that your partner has checked out of your marriage. The next time you have a disagreement with him or her, stop second-guessing their reactions and examine your own responses. Instead of shutting down or becoming critical, adopt a resilient mindset and work on ways you can repair your relationship and get back on track.

How can you know you’re in a happy relationship that’s both good for your health and everyone around you? Can such a thing be measured? It can! Take this free relationship quiz and find out how well you know your partner.

The Gottman Relationship Adviser, the world’s first complete relationship wellness tool for couples, takes the guesswork out of improving your relationship. Measure your relationship health with a research-based self-assessment, then receive a tailored digital relationship plan proven to heal and strengthen your connection.

For an in-depth analysis of your relationship health check out the Gottman Assessment, a virtual relationship evaluation tool for couples.

If want to build a deeply meaningful relationship full of trust and intimacy, then subscribe below to receive our blog posts directly to your inbox:

Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW

Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW is a licensed therapist and author. ="wpforms-"]

How to Fix and Save a Broken Marriage : 15 Ways

In This Article

It’s a horrible feeling when you recognize that things aren’t working in your marriage. A failing marriage is the worst relationship catastrophe that you can imagine. It leaves a trail of pain, anguish, and disenchantment.

You want to be together but feel that there is too much broken or wrong to make that happen.

Have you ever asked yourself how to fix a broken marriage?

Restoring a broken marriage isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. Through careful steps and understanding why marriages end up broken, you would be able to start working on your relationship before it’s too late.

Can you still fix a broken marriage?

It’s not easy to admit that things aren’t going well, but the good news is that you can help get things back on track.

You can work through the biggest challenges if you align and address the issues bringing you down.

This will involve both of you and a willingness to admit when your marriage is broken what went wrong and made you and your spouse bring you to the verge of a broken marriage and then find ways to repair the broken marriage.

On the other hand, some couples may give up rather than saving a marriage, but that doesn’t need to be your reality.

At the very least, it’s well worth trying out these steps to see how they work for you. Ultimately this may help you to recover from a failing marriage.

How do you start saving a marriage that is falling apart?

Before we go to the steps of how to fix a broken marriage, we must first understand where to start restoring a broken marriage.

One day, you will realize that you’re in a broken marriage. It’s normal to feel confused, lonely, and angry.

Fixing marriage problems will have to start somewhere, and it would start with YOU.

You need to assess your feelings and the situation before making a move because you don’t want to exert time and effort if your relationship is over.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you still love your spouse?
Do you still trust each other?
Have you tried seeking help?
Have you both put in the best you can to this marriage?
Have you thought about how your kids would react?
If you were to divorce your spouse now, how would you feel?

Take your time.

One failing marriage advice is to take time. Don’t rush because you have had enough of your spouse’s shortcomings. Don’t rush to end your marriage just because you always feel disappointed.

Hopefully have a better idea if your marriage is still worth saving.

5 Reasons that causes a broken marriage

Do you know how to fix your marriage when trust is broken? What about fixing a marriage when your spouse is too lazy?

There are many reasons why people decide to end their marriage. Knowing what caused the issue will help the couple learn how to fix a broken marriage.

These are some of the reasons why marriages fall apart:

1. Communication gap

Lack of communication can be highly damaging to a relationship.

When couples stop sharing things and expressing themselves, they weaken their chord of connection. When their connection becomes fragile, their relationship also loses its strength.

This is one of the signs of a failing marriage. If your marriage is on the verge of falling apart, you must strengthen your connection by communicating more. The death of communication can drive a wedge between you and your partner.

2. Infidelity

Cheating on your partner can be an ultimate deal-breaker. If one of the partners in a relationship indulges in infidelity, it damages the relationship.

Healing a broken marriage due to infidelity is very hard because trust, one of the foundations of a strong relationship, has been broken.

3. Lack of care and affection

With time passion fades in a relationship, and couples stop showing affection and care.

Eventually, the relationship’s sweetness and warmth go away, and there is no joy left in the marriage. This can cause a marriage to fall apart.

Related Reading: What Happens When There Is Lack of Attention in Relationship?

4. Crisis

Crisis situations can either make a marriage stronger or break it.

In difficult times, how couples support each other determines how good or bad their relationship will become.

When partners don’t support each other, it shows they are in a failing marriage.

Related Reading: 20 Steps to Becoming a Supportive Partner

5. Different priorities

When you’ve been together for a while, you will realize that you might not have the same priorities in life.

You may both be working, and on your days off, you want to have family bonding and spend quality time with your kids. However, you see that your spouse doesn’t share the same priority.

Your spouse may want to go out with his friends, play basketball, and do other stuff that makes him feel relaxed.

These issues can already cause tension.

Another tug-of-war in priorities is if one person wants to save and the other loves spending on branded items.

There are many reasons why couples would have disagreements regarding priorities, and sometimes, it becomes too overwhelming.

Related Reading: What Are the Three Biggest Priorities in a Relationship

15 Ways to save your broken marriage

If you are wondering about how to fix a marriage or relationship marriage, you need to take a step back, reflect, and consider what is truly wrong and then try out these ways on how to rekindle a marriage.

1. Identify what made you fall in love

It’s heartbreaking when you think about how madly you were in love with your partner and how damaged your relationship has gotten.

If you are thinking about how to repair a broken marriage or how to mend a broken relationship, get back to basics and put yourself into the mindset of when you were first together and first in love.

Think about what made you fall in love with one another and maybe even write it down.

Consider what you adored about this person and what made you want to be with them.

Though you may have lost sight of this, thinking back to when times were good and you had just fallen in love can help lift your spirits and heal your broken marriage.

Recommended – Save My Marriage Course

Write down their best traits, and you may even find that they are still there, but you’ve had a hard time getting in touch with them lately.

2. Start to listen to each other again

Have conversations again and start to communicate with one another. Listen to what your spouse is telling you, and then ask the same from them.

Make it a point to listen to one another again, and it may very well be what helps you uncover what was once great about your marriage.

Wondering how to make a marriage work? Just listen to your partner, try to understand what they need.

Listening is powerful! Listening carefully will help you save your marriage.

3. Reflect on what has made your marriage feel broken

Why do marriages fail? Where did things go wrong? What happened that got you to the point of a broken marriage? Have you grown apart? Did one of you cheat? Or did life get in the way?

Identifying the causes of a broken marriage is important to fix one.

Even if a relationship has gone through such problems, saving a broken marriage is not impossible.

Think of when things went from good to bad, and then try to find a solution to fix a broken relationship or fix a broken marriage.

Check out this video by relationship expert Mary Kay Cocharo on how to fix or repair a broken marriage:

4. Talk to each other

Be patient with one another, even in the areas that present the biggest problems.

Talk to one another rather than at one another. This is part of listening, for when you increase communication, it helps you connect again.

Be patient and willing to work through the problems and know that it will lead you to better times. This is a critical issue to consider when saving your marriage from falling apart.

Related Reading: 5 Easy And Effective Couples Communication Tips

5. Don’t let distractions get in the way of your relationship

Sure, you may have kids and careers and many other things in your life, but don’t let them stand in the way of your marriage.

Life gets busy, but a couple must grow together and align throughout the good and bad times.

Make it a point to date again, talk more, and ensure that you are still a unified source no matter how busy life may get. Keep dating your partner, and dating is the key to save a broken marriage.

It helps because as you schedule dates to meet each other with a free mind, you can keep yourselves accountable to one another.

6. Find a way to connect again

Think of what it would take to connect once again.

Plan a trip for just the two of you. Commit to spending even a few minutes together every night chatting. Go out on dates and make each other a priority.

When you feel disconnected, here are great ways to reconnect with your spouse with the help of Avital or “The Parenting Junkie,” founder of Present Play.

7. Commit to each other

Fixing a broken marriage is never easy.

Aside from trying, you also have to commit, and most of the time, this is where everything goes wrong.

Some people have a hard time committing, and this causes further problems. Learning how to repair a broken marriage starts with commitment.

Related Reading: 15 Tips on How to Stay Committed in a Relationship

8. Fix yourself first

Healing a broken marriage starts with us.

It’s easier to point fingers and list all the things your partner lacks, but marriage isn’t like that.

If you want to fix what’s broken in your marriage, you also need to reflect on yourself and work on it first.

We’re not perfect, but if you are both willing to work on yourselves first, then on your marriage, it will work out.

Remember, you should be sure of yourself and be complete so that your partner won’t have to carry your weight in the relationship.

9. List all your spouse’s positive traits and appreciate

“I want to know how to fix my marriage, but my spouse is always making mistakes!”

There’s one way to learn how to fix a broken marriage, and that is through listing your spouse’s positive traits.

Of course, this will depend on the reason your marriage is on the rocks. If it were because of infidelity or abuse, this tip wouldn’t apply.

If your broken marriage was because of differences in priorities, crisis, poor communication, or even about money, you could still use this technique.

List all the positive traits of your spouse.

Your spouse might not align with your priorities, but he is a good cook, he works hard, you feel his love, and he doesn’t drink or smoke.

We focus too much on what we can’t see rather than the things that we do.

If you can appreciate the things that your spouse can do, it would be easier to make an effort and find ways on how to restore a broken marriage.

10. Get to know each other again

Because of our hectic schedule, kids, and stress, we wake up one day, and we don’t know our spouse the way we used to.

Learn how to save a marriage that is falling apart by committing that you will understand each other more.

Get to know each other again. Learn what makes your spouse inspired, their goals, and what they don’t like.

Getting to know each other again will help you understand where both of you are coming from.

11. Set rules

Once you have committed to change and are working on how to save a broken marriage, it’s time to create some rules.

Why is this necessary?

When you want to change, and you love your spouse, then there are things that you can’t do or say.

For example:

You will have misunderstandings in the future, and you can create a rule not to bring up past mistakes or not to say bad words.

This can do so much for your recovering marriage.

Related Reading: 22 Relationship Rules for a Happy Union

12. Be physically intimate

Sex isn’t the only way to be intimate. Learn how to fix a failing marriage with the power of touch.

Hold hands, caress your spouse, and hug each other.

These simple acts of touch and sweetness can help you bond by releasing love hormones such as oxytocin, which could bring back the intimacy in your marriage.

13. Respect each other

Respect is important in any relationship.

Start learning how to fix your marriage by making sure that you respect one another. No matter how disappointed you are, don’t belittle your spouse.

Don’t tell your spouse that they are worthless or incompetent because you can no longer take back those words.

No matter what the problem is, as long as it’s not abuse or infidelity, you can work it out as long as you respect one another.

14. Tell your partner what you want

“All I wanted was for my spouse to have the initiative to wash the dishes! Are there ways to fix my marriage to someone like this person?”

The question is, did you tell your spouse about it?

Your spouse might be clueless about the issue, and here you are, resenting him and remembering all the things he failed to do.

Because you’ve been together for a long time, your spouse already knows what you hate and love, right?

That is why we should stop assuming, and the simple solution is to tell your spouse what you want.

15. Seek the help of a professional

Of course, some issues and problems go way back and are harder to resolve.

Is there a way on how to fix a broken marriage when everything seems to be too complicated?

It is where the help of a licensed therapist comes in. It’s incredible how a licensed professional can guide you to the right path of fixing your marriage problems.

As long as you can both commit, there’s a chance to make things better.

Is it possible to save your broken marriage alone?

“Is it possible to fix my broken marriage alone? I don’t want to give up on our marriage.”

This is a common question, and the truth is, it’s possible in certain situations, but not all.

It’s not to discourage people who want to work on their marriage alone, but you must understand that fixing a broken marriage will work better if the couple commits to the same goal.

Try these steps if you still want to try your best to fix your relationship.

Related Reading: Repair Your Marriage Without Therapy in Three Easy Steps

Review your marriage

Take your time and review your marriage and be honest with yourself. If you find out that the problems started with you, you can commit to change.

How did the problems start?

What happened throughout your marriage? Identify all the changes that might have led to the troubles in your marriage and work on being better.

How far are you willing to work alone?

You understand what happened, and you’re willing to do your best to make it work, but you can sense that your spouse isn’t willing to join you. How far can you try? Can you take time and convince your spouse to give your marriage one more chance?

Does counseling help in fixing a broken marriage?

How do you fix a broken marriage when you and your spouse are almost giving up?

This is where counseling helps.

Marriage and couple counseling can make a huge difference in your quest to fix your marriage.

Counseling, through the guidance of a licensed therapist, can help you and your spouse work through your issues and strengthen your bond.

Conclusion

When you can find your way back to one another again and reconnect, it may help fix a broken marriage.

These suggestions on how to save a marriage and how to deal with a broken marriage will surely help you salvage your relationship.

Sometimes it’s a matter of reflecting upon things that will help you find lasting happiness, even when you think that the marriage is falling apart—this is how to make a broken marriage work and enjoy that happily ever after that you always dreamed of!

Is 90,000 destiny or relationship work?

Published: 07/16/2019 Heading: MarriageAuthor: KsenyaGold

According to statistics, most people meet their soul mate at a young age. After a candy-bouquet period and a certain time of relationship, the couple decides to get married. But tying the knot is only half the battle. The most difficult thing is to keep and carry the feeling of love through life, walking hand in hand.

Page content

1 Friendship in marriage is not love anymore?
2 An exemplary marriage for society
3 Happiness in marriage is not luck, but painstaking work on relationships
4 Practical advice on improving relationships

Friendship in marriage - is that not love anymore?

Observing married couples, psychologists note that in many marriages, after several years of living together, passions subside and love transforms into respect. This is not bad, but where do the quivering feelings and the desire to spend more time alone go? Such marriages are durable, but the relationship of the spouses is more like a friendly one. In this case, the phrase is appropriate: "In order for love to live, it must be maintained like a fire, throwing firewood from time to time. " Then family life will sparkle with new colors. True love never goes away. It has many faces and from a feeling of admiration for each other it can eventually develop into affection, but it's still the same love. And in order for family life to be more fulfilling, you need to be together more often, for example, arranging romantic walks for yourself. nine0005

An exemplary marriage for society

Things are much more complicated for those couples who got married “for show”. Moreover, the reasons are the most absurd: I will get married or get married out of spite, I don’t want to remain an old maid, I need to check in, be patient, etc. This only proves that it is important for people what others say about them, because you have to be like everyone else. Typically, such marriages last exactly as long as the spouses are willing to tolerate each other. This does not bring happiness to any of them, but the grandmothers on the bench under the entrance do not grind bones, because they have a “family”. As a rule, such a union ends when one of the spouses finds his love on the side. nine0005

Happiness in marriage is not luck, but painstaking work on relationships

And, finally, there are lucky people, looking at whom no one has a shadow of doubt about the sincerity of their feelings. They are among the few who are considered soul mates, and about whom they say: "they were just lucky that they met each other." Of course, luck alone cannot be the reason for many years of happy marriage. What then is their phenomenon? What do they know that other couples don't? And the thing is that from the first days of the beginning of family life, loving spouses decide everything together, as they say, both in sorrow and in joy. This is a union of 2 equal partners who never cease to be interesting to each other and develop personally. nine0005

A couple can be harmonious only when there are no secrets and omissions between husband and wife. Only on sincerity and discussing each problem can a healthy relationship be built. And spending time together and pleasant surprises for each other will give romance and moments of happiness, not letting the flame of love go out.

Practical Tips for Better Relationships

All couples have crises, but it's much worse when marriage becomes a habit. Then a loved one begins to be taken for granted, although once he or she was the limit of your dreams. This is the main problem. The case of each individual couple is purely individual, and perhaps in critical situations, a psychologist's consultation would not hurt. But for those who have not yet decided to resort to his services, here are some practical tips for reviving love and understanding in marriage:

Treat every day like a miracle. Be grateful that you have a loved one, even if the relationship is not as cloudless as you would like.
Keep fit. Jokes about a wife in curlers, a dressing gown, slippers and a husband on the couch in sweatpants and with beer are exaggerated, but not without a grain of truth.
Set aside some quality time every day.
Often, being engaged in different professional activities, spouses do not have common topics for conversation. We need to find something that unites. Sign up for pair dances, tennis, or pick up any other hobby for two. nine0014
Arrange pleasant surprises for each other, give gifts, flowers for no reason. Surprise! Give compliments, support morally.
Be prepared to compromise.
Stop constantly criticizing and spotting mistakes. Focus on the good times.

Try these tips for 90 days and see what happens. Any relationship can be improved - that's a fact. It all depends on your mutual desire and willingness to act. Remember that power is not in knowledge, but in its application in practice. nine0005

Five Signs That "Working" on a Relationship Isn't Helping

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Relationship Crisis

I've never believed that marriage is all about work. Here lies self-deception, behind which I see the fear of losing the usual way of life. Fear leads to attempts to rationalize love, to make this feeling more understandable. Then the fading of love can easily be attributed to "not good enough" work.

People unite because being together is a pleasure for them. This does not mean that we do not need mental and emotional costs, but if we love each other, they bring joy and make us stronger. Even if you don’t agree with me that marriage and work are incompatible concepts, you are probably ready to admit that sometimes we put in too much effort to keep relationships going. nine0005

How can we tell if we are trying too hard?

1. Do you constantly calculate your partner's reaction? This means that you are too focused on making your partner always feel good for the sake of your own interests.

What's the catch? Sooner or later you will lose the opportunity to talk openly about things that are important to you. You communicate not as a friend, but as a scout, forced to hide true feelings and intentions. nine0005

2. You find an excuse for everything

You can forgive and understand a lot. Even when they ignore your interests, rudely impose their desires, or even insult you. You are offended at first, but then find a compromise with yourself - you can even present this disgusting behavior as "cruel wisdom" that a well-meaning partner shared with you. When your friends point out your partner's inappropriate behavior, you get offended by them and move the conversation to another topic. nine0005

However, you inevitably have to repress negative feelings about your soul mate. If deep down you understand that you are living a lie, try to remember your self-respect and change the situation. It is worse if you have dissolved the boundaries of your personality so much that you are no longer aware of this.

What's the catch? As long as you justify your partner, problems are hushed up. Over time, they inevitably accumulate, and your relationship becomes increasingly tense and bleak. nine0005

3. You are destroying your health

Numerous studies show that people in unhappy marriages suffer physical health. If our own family becomes a source of negative experiences, we begin to suffer from heart disease, high blood pressure and depression.

What's the catch? Love makes people healthier and happier. If you are currently unhappy in a relationship, it destroys your health. Even if we assume that you and your partner will be able to improve the psychological climate, it will be very difficult to repair the damage. nine0005

4. You are losing yourself as a person

My client Megan, over many years of marriage, got used to agreeing with her husband in everything - he made a scandal every time she argued with him. For her, this did not pass without a trace: a lot of irritation accumulated, and she lost the ability to notice joyful moments in life.

Friends used to consider her a cheerful and sociable person, but now when they meet she hardly keeps up a conversation. All this happened because the oppressive home atmosphere formed in her the desire to hide from her husband and from the rest of the world. nine0005

What's the catch? When you make endless compromises and infringe on your interests, you seem to exclude yourself from the relationship. You, as an independent person, with your desires and needs, are absent, giving way to another person who acts on your behalf.

5. You are lonely

You are unable to share with your partner what you deeply care about and prefer to keep it to yourself. You know you won't get support from him. You can’t even talk about the fact that your relationship has cracked for a long time, and you are trying to eliminate it on your own. nine0005

What's the catch? Relationships are always a two-way process. If only you feel the need to invest and give, then most likely the partner reciprocates only in your imagination, in which you have nurtured his noble image.

Learn more