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Telling my parents im pregnant at 16


How to Tell Your Parents That You Are Pregnant at 16

I’m only 16! How am I supposed to tell my parents?

Teen pregnancy. It’s nothing new or uncommon; nevertheless, if it is happening to you, it can be an overwhelming situation.

There are obvious stigmas around teen pregnancy; however, the fact stands that it is a very common occurrence. In fact, it is estimated 3 in 10 American teens become pregnant before they are 20 years old. Additionally, the United States has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the western industrialized world at nearly 750,000 pregnancies each year.

This all goes to say, you’re not alone. Many other women are navigating this difficult road with you. And you shouldn’t go about pregnancy without a strong support system. For many, that is their family.

However, telling your parents that you’re pregnant at 16 can be terrifying. There’s no way to know exactly how they’ll react. So, if you’re trying to figure out how to tell your parents that you are pregnant at 16, keep reading! Listed below are a few things to consider before you break the news to your parents.

How to Tell Your Parents You’re Pregnant at 16

The best way to approach how to tell your parents you’re pregnant is to take it one step at a time. We’ve outlined a step-by-step guide to help you navigate this conversation and confidently share the news. 

1. Process Your Emotions

You may be wondering when to tell your parents you’re pregnant and the answer is when you’re ready. Before you experience others’ emotions and reactions, you need to understand yours. Take some time to yourself to fully process how you’re feeling and how you want to proceed. It can ease the stress of the conversation if you come prepared with your own thoughts on how you’d like to move forward in this new journey. 

2. Form A Plan

Above all, it is important to form a plan on how to tell your parents you’re pregnant at 16. Formulating a plan beforehand can give you the extra confidence to tell your parents. Consider where you’ll tell them and how soon the discussion will take place. In addition, consider how you’ll answer questions about the father or how long you’ve been pregnant.

Telling your family about an unexpected pregnancy is hard itself. Give yourself the best opportunity to succeed by creating a game plan to navigate this discussion.

3. Prepare for All Reactions

In some situations, you may have a rough idea of how your parents will react. Regardless, you should be prepared for any kind of reaction. The initial news may come as a shock, so it’s best to give both yourself and your parents some time and space to process the conversation. Their initial reactions may not be what you were expecting, but that may change once they come to terms with the news. 

4. Discuss Your Options

Ultimately, this conversation is to break the news to your parents. Nevertheless, it can also be a productive conversation about your next steps. For some, termination may be a probable solution to the situation. However, for others, abortion alternatives that are good for the mother and child should be discussed.

There are several termination alternatives that you can discuss with your parents. For example, you can allow a willing relative to raise the child. Additionally, adoption is another alternative that teens and their parents should discuss.

5. Protect Yourself

For many parents, the initial news may be a shock. This in itself is understanding — pregnancy can be a life-altering situation. However, if your parents have strong beliefs, values, or personalities, you should consider how you will protect yourself when telling them.

In this situation, it is important that you protect your well-being. Consider bringing a trusted friend with you when you have the conversation. This friend can play a role in diffusing arguments and mitigating difficult topics. In the end, the trusted individual acts as a buffer if things turn south.

Tips for Telling Your Parents You’re Pregnant at 16

Remain Calm

This can seem impossible if the initial reaction isn’t what you were hoping for, but high tensions will only hinder the conversation. Do your best to remain as calm as possible. If that means walking away for a short while, take a break and continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to breathe. 

Seek Support

Even if a friend or other relative is not present at the conversation, having additional support can help you navigate this journey. Tell a trusted friend, relative, or counselor who you know can provide the support you need. If your plan is to pursue adoption, you may also want to seek the support of an adoption specialist who can walk you through the next steps. 

Consider All Your Options

Whether this prior to or during the conversation with your parents, it’s important to know your options. Your parents may be able to help you make this decision, but ultimately you should have the power to decide what is best for you. 

Talk to The Professionals

Teen pregnancy is scary! However, with the right support team on your side, it can be navigated with ease.

Consider letting an adoption specialist at Texas Adoption Center stand in your corner. These industry experts can provide valuable information to help you determine if adoption is the appropriate decision for you.

If you are seriously considering adoption or just want more information contact Texas Adoption Center. Call them at 512.983-.943 or text 361.461.3742 to schedule a confidential meeting with an adoption specialist.

How to Tell Your Parents You're Pregnant (as a Teenager)

Telling your parents about your pregnancy may be nerve-wracking. Here are some suggestions from a psychologist on how to handle the talk.

Making decisions about pregnancy can be stressful enough, regardless of age. Breaking the news to your mom, dad, or caregiver might worry you even more, especially as a teen.

Take a deep breath. You can do this. Here’s some help for you to get a handle on how to navigate the conversation.

There’s no “best time” to break the news to your parents that you’re pregnant other than when you are ready.

For example, if the pregnancy was unplanned, you or your partner may first need time to process it before telling anyone.

However, keep in mind there are a few legalities to consider that may make telling your parents sooner than later necessary, like if you want an abortion.

If you decide you want to end the pregnancy, you may live in a state where you need parental consent to have an abortion.

In the United States, 38 states require a caregiver to be involved in the decision to terminate a pregnancy. Depending on the state, the time frame for an abortion can be anywhere from no later than 6 weeks to no later than 6 months.

Breaking the news may be a difficult conversation, but you can get through it.

Process where you’re at with the pregnancy first

Before telling your parents, Dr. Jennifer Crall, a clinical psychologist in Quakertown, Pennsylvania, suggests you “process through where [you] are with the pregnancy.”

This can help you identify your feelings and your wants, and prepare you for whatever happens next.

Seek other support if needed

If you don’t have the best relationship with your parents, you might want to seek support from an adult you do have a good relationship with first. Perhaps it’s an extended family member, school counselor, or mentor.

Tell your parents in person if possible

While texting them the news can seem tempting, sitting down to have a face-to-face conversation in a safe space can maintain clarity, so nothing is left to be misconstrued (especially with autocorrecting in text messages).

Remember that no matter how your parents react, you’re not alone

In 2019, about 17 out of 1,000 teens between the ages of 15 and 19 gave birth in the United States. That’s equivalent to around eight teens in each high school.

Your parents’ number one job is to keep you safe, thriving, and healthy from your birth to adulthood. But they may need time to digest and gather their own thoughts about your pregnancy.

It’s important to sit with their emotions as much as you need them to make way for yours as well.

Teens have come before you and lived flourishing lives no matter which decision they chose about pregnancy, and teens will come after you as well.

Be ready to give them time and space to process their reactions

According to Crall, it can be so difficult to share the news “because parents may have such a range of reactions.”

Telling them may surprise them, too, even if they know or suspect you are sexually active.

Their first reaction may not be what you (or your partner) really need to hear. You may need to give them some time to process the news and respond to it, rather than react to it.

How do I tell my parents I got someone pregnant?

First, take a deep breath. You can do this.

Before you talk with your parents, talk with your partner about next steps. Once you have a plan together, you can talk with your parents alone or with your partner present.

Whatever you and your partner decide to do, telling your parents sooner can allow them to offer you both support.

Resources

If you’re at a loss for what to do or where to start looking, you can check out the following resources.

Adoption

Adoption agencies often give you a choice about how you want to proceed. Choices typically include:

  • Open adoption. You can stay in touch with the adoptive parents and be informed of how your baby is doing.
  • Semi-open adoption. You can interact with the adoptive family without providing identifying information to either party.
  • Closed adoption. Your information is kept confidential. You will not have contact with the baby or adoptive family.

When choosing an adoption agency, feel empowered to pick one that will respect your desires, listen to your needs, and help answer any questions you may have.

Some possible options include:

  • Adoptions with Love
  • Adoption Network
  • Adoptions Together

Abortion

No matter your reason, if you feel abortion is your best option, you’re not alone in your decision. According to 2013 data, about 24% of teen pregnancies ended in abortion.

If you’re considering abortion, Planned Parenthood has an online tool you can use to find a local clinic.

Laws do vary by state. Keep in mind you may still need parental involvement to get an abortion. You can read this abortion access guide for more information.

Ultrasound

If you’re planning to carry the pregnancy to term, you will need prenatal care, including doctor visits and ultrasounds. Ultrasounds are a routine part of any pregnancy that allows doctors to check on the progress of your baby’s growth as well as look for any abnormalities.

If you’re comfortable with your current gynecologist or another doctor, you can ask them about where to schedule routine care during your pregnancy.

You can also look for mobile ultrasound services or clinics that offer free or reduced-cost care.

The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (aka the WIC program) offers grocery assistance and education for pregnant, breastfeeding, and postpartum adults, babies, and kids.

The WIC program also provides referrals to healthcare and other support services.

Support

Local support groups can also be a great resource. The Child Welfare Information Gateway has information for teen parents to help connect you to a support group.

If you carry the pregnancy to term and need assistance, you may want to consider reaching out to the National Parent Helpline at 855-427-2736, or use their online tool to find support options based on your needs.

No matter how it goes talking with your parents or your partner’s parents, or what you plan to do, you might want to consider talking with an OB-GYN. They can help get you started on the right path for you, and provide care throughout whichever option you choose.

You or your partner may benefit from talking with a therapist or counselor to help you understand, accept, and release your feelings. You can find a therapist here.

It's dumb to tell parents about pregnancy.

#1

#2

9000 #3

#4

#5

#6

#7

Guest

Lives completely dependent with her parents, does not study, does not work, but she is an adult. And now she has brought it to the fullest. Then she will divorce this comrade (if she signs at all), throw the child on her parents (she has not worked up yet and generally let her raise her granddaughter), and she herself will begin to arrange her personal life. Maybe bring a second one. Poor parents

#8

#9

Name

How can you be together for less than 3 months when 14 weeks?

#10

#11

And why did not abort？

#12

Guest

Well, you don't need to lay on the girl . . I hate such comments. .man asks for help ..why do this? nine0005

#13

Guest

when ovulation occurs and conception already begins the 3rd week of a future pregnancy. But then it still doesn’t fit - conception was 12 weeks ago, And they are less than 3 months

Guest

Lives completely dependent on her parents, does not study, does not work, but is an adult. And now she has brought it to the fullest. Then she will divorce this comrade (if she signs at all), throw the child on her parents (she has not worked up yet and generally let her raise her granddaughter), and she herself will begin to arrange her personal life. Maybe bring a second one. Poor Parents

#16

Guest

It is a pity that your mother has not done an abortion . ..

#17

#18

Guest

My mother got pregnant not from a stranger, but from her husband, and worked then. You need to think at least a little, okay, contraception did not help, well, at 5-6 weeks I made honey. abortion and all. Will the child eat? You will now feed their family. nine0005

#19

Guest

Better a hungry child than dead

#200005

Better a hungry child, better a hungry child, better than a hungry child, better than dead

#21

Name

I know how pregnancy is considered, because I myself am pregnant. Even if we divide in this case into obstetric and embryonic weeks (12), it still does not work. Or did the author give on the first day of dating = ovulation without contraception? nine0005

#22

Name

I know how pregnancy is considered, because I myself am pregnant. Even if we divide in this case into obstetric and embryonic weeks (12), it still does not work. Or did the author give on the first day of dating = ovulation without contraception?

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#23

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wiring. this author here writes a new nonsense every month without appearing in the topic. first she met a guy with a mini dick, then she flew in, then she got a job as a stray, now this. fu such as invent

#25

Non -,0006 6

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    • #27

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    Author, do not listen to the evil k/u/u! Your child is the only person who will truly love you. And nothing compares to this. If anything, I have a higher education, a job, and so on. But only with the advent of my daughter, my life became full and happy, even despite the absence of my husband. They can set you up at work, your husband can leave - and only for the child you will be the MOST beloved person for a very long time ... 9April 16, 2019 Your child is the only person who will truly love you. And nothing compares to this. If anything, I have a higher education, a job, and so on. But only with the advent of my daughter, my life became full and happy, even despite the absence of my husband. They can set you up at work, your husband can leave - and only for the child you will be the MOST beloved person for a very long time ...

    #29

    Guest

    Better a hungry child than dead

    #30,0005

    9000

    This the beauty of prolifers, they are only interested in embryos. April 16, 2019 only for a child You will be the MOST beloved person for a very long time ...

    #32

    Guest

    Strictly speaking, they are not interested in embryos, but in the enslavement of women. If prolifers were interested in preventing abortion ("murder"), they would distribute contraception and promote voluntary vasectomy and sterilization. 16 April 2019 No, they work with an already overwhelmed category of the population, powder their brains about severed arms and legs in the fifth week of pregnancy, this is their favorite strong point. nine0005

    #34

    Guest

    Add. One mother of many children with an important air broadcast that it was protected sex that caused cancer in the female part. After all, the body understands that there is sex, which means that Lyalya should soon be, but there is still no Lyalya, the body gets upset, and uterine cancer appears. 21 century. April 16, 2019 nine0005

    #36

    Guest

    Well, not for very long - about 7 years. Then the child will begin socialization, he will compare himself and his mother with other children and their families. And he will begin to ask uncomfortable questions: - where is dad - why are we poor - why do we not go to the sea, while others go - why do we not buy delicious food, while others buy - why do I have ugly unfashionable clothes, and Vovochka has branded ones, etc. d. Of course, for some time, the child's mom goes over the ears, that money is not the main thing, the main thing is mommy's lupof))) But, as a rule, the child quickly understands what's what. And at the age of 15-20, he will understand that he was born by a rogue woman on a flight, because she parted her Poles and gasped sweetly with a random eppar. And ribenacheg will stop loving his mom))). nine0005

    And the Author has huge resources - youth and health. The fact that at 30 is no longer so easy, it will be much easier for her. And endure, and give birth, and not sleep at night. And it’s full of strength to walk with a stroller on the playground))))) at 30, sleepless nights are no longer so easy to endure ... And for studying with the Author, there are many more years to come: a son or daughter will grow up, will go to correspondence, full-time-correspondence, now even remote there are forms. Maybe the parents will help, maybe the husband, in any case, they give everyone a kindergarten at the age of 3 ... Why immediately prepare for the bad? If everything in your life is so bad, this does not mean that the Author will not work out. nine0005

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    • , 15:57

      #37

      I will add: it is better not to interrupt the first pregnancy, especially at this time. You can't do it legally anymore. Certainly not without health consequences. Yes, and the conscience "bite". My daughter at 16 weeks was already pushing with might and main, the child is already quite large and mature. Already sex is determined from 12 weeks.

      #38

      Guest

      Brad I am 31 and I love my parents very much. And my mom. I help them with everything. Although there were quarrels in the teenage period. But this is temporary. And then love becomes already “mature”, and not like in small children. And normal children take care of their parents ... I am a late child, but I have never been ashamed of my parents, although my mother was mistaken for an hour for a grandmother. Only on a woman I read that giving birth after 35 is shameful and generally impossible. And the Author has huge resources - youth and health. The fact that at 30 is no longer so easy, it will be much easier for her. And endure, and give birth, and not sleep at night. And it’s full of strength to walk with a stroller on the playground))))) at 30, sleepless nights are no longer so easy to endure ... And for studying with the Author, there are many more years to come: a son or daughter will grow up, will go to correspondence, full-time-correspondence, now even remote there are forms. Maybe the parents will help, maybe the husband, in any case, they give everyone a kindergarten at the age of 3 . .. Why immediately prepare for the bad? If everything in your life is so bad, this does not mean that the Author will not work out. nine0005

      #39

      Name

      How can you be together for less than 3 months when 14 weeks?

      #40

      Summer 🌴

      Some kind of inconsistency turns out, you've been together for less than 3 months, and you've been pregnant for 14 weeks. Did you get pregnant at a distance from him even before you met? 😁
      Your poor parents (( Apparently, the grandson or granddaughter will be a heavy burden on them. Do not count on their joy and help, grandparents do not owe anything to their grandchildren.

      Mom, don't kill me, I'm pregnant!

      For an abortion by the hand

      In Russia, out of 1000 pregnancies, 102 are pregnancies of teenagers from 12 to 17 years old. At the same time, few “carry out” before childbirth: approximately 70% have an abortion, 14% lose a child in a miscarriage. The vast majority – almost 70% – of pregnant teenage girls are unmarried.

      It is often the parents who initiate the abortion of a pregnant teenage daughter. Shocked by the confession of their daughter, the parents bring their daughter to the clinic almost by force. But, having quickly solved, as it seems to them, an urgent problem and eliminated the “shame of the family”, parents do not take into account long-term problems: according to statistics, up to 70% of girls, having had an abortion at a young age, then cannot become pregnant. And that means no grandchildren. nine0005

      What if the unwanted event has already happened? How can a teenage girl tell her parents about him? How can parents survive a legitimate shock and act based not on emotions, and not on the basis of momentary, but on the true, long-term interests of their daughter and the whole family?

      How to tell and how to accept

      Photo from reductress. com

      According to Yulia Mytnitskaya, a psychologist at the Crisis Situations Office for Pregnant Women , , the first and most important thing in this situation for a girl is to accept her pregnancy as a fact and tell her parents about it. It happens that, struck by such news, a girl falls into a stupor, hides from everyone, and then suddenly, for a considerable period of time, begins to act radically, trying to “get rid of the problem” on her own, having read the Internet or heard enough of her girlfriends. It can be not only harmful, but deadly. nine0005

      If a girl is afraid to tell her parents about everything, she can call the crisis center for pregnant women, which are now available in many cities. The specialists of the center will help her navigate and tell her, literally by words, how to pronounce "such" in her father's house.

      After a girl tells her parents about her pregnancy, the number one task for her and her family is to try to understand each other's feelings. Parents need to see behind the daughter's "misconduct" her pain and fear. Indeed, although the reasons leading to the pregnancy of a teenage girl can be different (a girl can become a victim of sexual violence in the family or outside it, and there are also cases when teenage girls become pregnant on purpose, considering this an “initiation” into adulthood) , in most cases, finding out that you are pregnant at the age of 13-14 is a huge stress. And the main thing for a pregnant girl is not to lose the support, protection of her family, not to lose contact with her parents. She can behave boldly, defiantly and in any way, but in her heart she is waiting for help. nine0005

      But it is also important for a girl to understand that the news of her pregnancy is no less stressful for her parents. For parents, this news poses a lot of problems, material and moral, which they, as adults, will have to solve. However, a large part of the responsibility for what happened to their daughter lies with the parents. According to psychologists, the lack of contact with the mother is considered the main reason for the daughter's early pregnancy. Often no one told the girl what happens to her body at the age of 13-14, what new opportunities and risks appear. She is defenseless against her growing up, does not know about the intricacies of communication with the opposite sex, responsibility and consequences. nine0005

      It is important to analyze your relationship with your child and try to protect him from irreparable decisions: succumbing to despair, a pregnant girl may run away from home or commit suicide.

      Quite often it is her parents who initiate the abortion of a teenage girl. But according to statistics, up to 70% of girls, having had an abortion at a young age, then cannot become pregnant. This means that there will be no grandchildren

      The whole family can participate in making a decision about a future child: parents and the future father have the right to vote. But the final decision should be made by the pregnant girl. And it is important for her older relatives to remember that early motherhood is better than late regrets about its absence. nine0005

      Dad under 16

      Photo from pinterest.co.uk

      Don't push the theme of the wedding of the daughter and the father of the child against their will. Conflicts in a couple will not positively affect either the course of pregnancy or the upbringing of the child himself.

      If the father-to-be is also a minor, his parents must find out about the pregnancy. Even if their son is not ready for fatherhood, perhaps they themselves will be able to help and support the mother of their future grandson. If the young father is ready to create a family, then the acquaintance of the parents is simply necessary. nine0005

      If the minor father of a child raises the question of his paternity, he has the right to do so. But it is not difficult to solve this issue today - there is a paternity test. A minor mother, regardless of age, can submit a joint application with the father of the child to the registry office to establish paternity. Here, even the consent of the girl's parents (or her guardian) is not necessary. If the young father refuses to submit such an application, then the girl can go to court and demand the establishment of paternity. The only condition is that she must be 14 years old. Until that age, such a claim may be filed by her parents or guardian. nine0005

      If a young mother is a schoolgirl

      It is desirable for parents to organize a young mother's day so that she has time to take care of the child, relax and be able to continue her education.

      If the mother is in school, it is better to interrupt her studies for a while or switch to home schooling than to expose the girl to constant additional stress. And for others, especially students, it is wrong to constantly see a pregnant classmate. After all, this is not the norm - when a girl becomes pregnant at the age of 13-15. nine0005

      Support forms

      Courses for pregnant women. Photo: Deacon Andrey Radkevich

      You can offer your daughter a partner birth (when someone close is present during the birth). This is especially important if the child's father is not involved in the life of the pregnant woman. A birth partner can be a mother or an older friend who has given birth - the choice depends on the girl herself. But don't stress on it.

      Pregnancy courses can be a big help for a girl. On them, she not only learns about the psychophysiology of pregnancy, childbirth, child care, but also stays in an environment of "like-minded people", people with similar interests. Such an environment for a stressed girl can become positive. Psychologists work at the courses, who can be told about the specifics of their situation and receive advice. nine0005

      It is important for the parents of a teenage girl not only to take on part of the care for her, but also to help their daughter grow up

      Every woman has a maternal instinct from the very beginning. And if the pregnancy occurred before his awakening, it is necessary to awaken him, using various options: courses in preparation for childbirth, communication with mothers who are in a state of desired pregnancy or have babies, going to children's stores with vests and rattles.

      And very important: it is important for the parents of a teenage girl not only to take on part of the care for her, but also to help their daughter grow up, analyze mistakes, learn to overcome difficulties and make independent decisions. nine0005

      If you were kicked out of the house? Photo from pinterest.es

      Sometimes parents, outraged by their daughter's pregnancy and her refusal to have an abortion, simply drive her out of the house. In this case, the expectant mother has several options.

      If she is registered in her parents' apartment, then by law no one has the right to expel her. Therefore, in this case, you can safely go to the district police officer or call the police - the competent authorities will quickly cool the hot heads of the parents. Also, this situation may be of interest to guardianship authorities that protect the rights of minors. This is a legal way to return to the apartment. nine0005

      Parents can be given time to calm down and recover. Most likely, they will very quickly regret their hasty decision and will do their best to look for the expelled daughter. In the meantime, you can go to relatives or friends, with whom you can “sit out” for a while. It is not necessary to tell them about the pregnancy. The main thing is not to turn off the phone in the heat of desperation so that parents can get through and call back.

      But it happens that returning home, which is legally possible, becomes an unbearable torture for the expectant mother. Unreconciled parents arrange a real hell for a young mother. It is impossible to live in stress months before the birth of a child, this will affect both the health of the girl and the health of the unborn baby. In such cases, it makes sense to really leave home and ask for shelter and support in crisis centers that deal with helping women in difficult situations. In such centers, you can get both shelter and material, legal and psychological assistance. For example, the following organizations operate in Moscow and the Moscow Region:

      - Crisis Center "House for Mom": +7 (495) 542-00-00

      - Crisis Center for Women and Children: +7 (499) 977-17-05, (499) 729 -51-81, (495) 492-26-81, helpline: +7(499) 977-20-10

      – Assistance service for pregnant women in a crisis situation of the Family and Childhood Charitable Foundation: +7 ( +7 (916) 256-44-26

      - Charitable Foundation for the Protection of the Family, Motherhood and Childhood: 8 (800) -200-05-07

      - Crisis Pregnancy Center "Family and Childhood" (Ramenskoye, Moscow Region) ): 8-926-2064197

      Also in different parts of Moscow there are state social shelters for children and adolescents who find themselves in a difficult life situation.

      Do not be afraid that you will be left on the street without a penny of money and die of hunger and cold together with your baby! Today this problem can be solved. nine0005

      Rights of an underage mother: what is required by law Photo from cgbvs.ru

      An unmarried underage mother is herself a child in the face of the law. She does not have full civil capacity and therefore needs to protect her rights and interests. However, the law recognizes her parental rights and establishes special rules for their implementation. According to Article 62 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, minor parents have the following rights:

      - the right to live together with the child and participate in his upbringing;

      - the right to independently exercise parental rights when they reach the age of sixteen years. Until this age, the newborn will be assigned a guardian who will raise the child along with his parents. If disputes arise between the guardian and the parents, they will be resolved by the guardianship authorities.

      Learn more