What to text someone who ghosted you

12 Texts To Send Someone Who Ghosted You

Sex & Relationships

“I can't read your mind and I don’t want to assume anything.”

by Griffin Wynne


Originally Published: 

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Despite what the 1995 Christina Ricci classic (and the 1998 Hilary Duff sequel) may have led you to believe, there's no such thing as a friendly ghost. If you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these texts to send someone who ghosted you will bring you the clarity and closure you crave.

Like cute shoes that cause blisters, cute people that cause heartache are unfortunately all too common. According to a 2020 survey by Hinge, 91% of users say they've been ghosted, and that's, like, a full A- on an exam. For Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author, reaching out to a ghoster is all about balance. "We don't want to look desperate, but we need resolution," Winter tells Bustle. "Are they in or are they out?"

If your date has gone radio silent, Winter suggests making one last effort to reach out. "If you don't get a reply, or get a vague 'breadcrumb type' answer, then bail," Winter says.

Whether you're looking for a Serious Committed Relationship or just a fling, you deserve someone with the ability to communicate their basic feelings. Though ending things with someone can be uncomfortable, it's always more considerate than leaving someone in the lurch.

If you're tired of being left on read, here are twelve texts to send.


It was nice getting to know you. Wish you all the best on your dating journey.

FreshSplash/E+/Getty Images

According to relationship coach and behavioral scientist Clarissa Silva, sending a message that empowers you over the ghoster is vital. “Ghosting hurts your ego, and displacing blame doesn’t stop the cycle of rumination, replaying events, lowered self-esteem, or self devaluation that you experience,” she says. “Making excuses for someone else’s suboptimal (read: sh*tty) behavior prevents you from evaluating better options.” Sending this type of text to your ghoster over something passive-aggressive will keep the power in your hands and leaves no room for excuses.


I take it you're not a great texter. Want to meet for drinks and an IRL convo?

If you're not looking for something serious (or for someone who regularly responds to your texts), gently teasing their texting skills can let your date know that you're still down to hang out. Of course, the key here is that you're actually looking for something casual. If you're secretly hoping your sporadic hookup will suddenly want a committed partnership, it's probably time for a different conversation about your expectations. “Understand this person isn’t serious about dating and isn’t serious about you,” says Winter. “No text = swim at your own risk.”


I had fun getting dinner last week! Let me know if you want to go to the farmer's market this weekend.

When your crush is playing hot and cold, it's easy to get swept up in their games. Instead of scheming something up or trying to decode their last five texts, be direct and don't overthink it. Let them know you're interested and down to hang out again. “It’s direct and proactive, which shows confidence,” Winter tells Bustle. “The invitation is light and casual, but clearly defined. Daytime. Easy. Fun.” If they're interested, they'll make a solid plan with you. If they're still shady, it's time to move on.


Me and my roomies are getting a drink tonight. Come through if you can!

Inviting your crush to something fun that you're already planning on doing lets you have your cake and eat it too. If they decide to come by, you'll have a fun time out with your friends. If they choose to stay home, you'll still have a fun time out with your friends. It's a casual way to include your crush, with incredibly low stakes. "Do it from the 'I'm doing this, join me,' approach," Winter says. "Coffee, drinks, or anything else that you did in the past that they seemed to like."


It's been a minute — want to check that you're OK!

"Sorry, my phone broke" is the adult version of "the dog ate my homework." Still, emergencies and general unexpected life things happen, and there could be an actual reason your crush has gone quiet. “Sending this type of message shows you to be a caring and compassionate individual,” Winter says. “That’s all good, as long as you have boundaries in place if and when you do hear from your date.” This gives them a chance to take accountability for going silent. It also gives you a chance to see if they're worth any more of your time. If they come back with more excuses and shadiness, you know you're better off without them.


I've been enjoying getting to know you, but I lose interest when contact lags. I'm not into something so on and off.

JGI/Jamie Grill/Tetra images/Getty Images

"You can give your new date your terms of engagement," Winter says. "Tell them that regular contact lets you know there's interest. Otherwise, you assume there's no connection." As Winter shares, letting your date know that you expect a timely response shows them the type of relationship you're looking for. You get to state your needs and have your needs met, and if someone can't do that? They're not the one for you.


I totally get it if you’re not feeling a connection, that’s cool. But I can’t read your mind and I don’t want to assume anything.

If you want your date to be real with you, you're certainly not alone. “I like the direct approach,” Winter tells Bustle, noting the importance of keeping it settled and not sounding “pissy” at all, because that “weakens you as the sender.” According to the same Hinge study, 85% of users said they'd rather get officially dumped than ghosted. Let your date know that your value direct communication, and you'd rather hear that it's not working out than hear nothing at all.


I feel sad and confused by you going silent on me.

Clearly, we're not looking for the same thing. Best of luck to you.

Though you may want to send "WTF?!" or light up their phone with insults, Winter suggests keeping your cool. If someone can't even reply to your text, they're not worth your energy. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter says. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played."


Saw this event and it reminded me of you. Let me know if you are interested in joining me.

You’re opening the door for a possibility to hangout again, but you aren’t coming off as desperate or salty about it. “A reminder of a shared experience can help gauge mutual interest,” advises Silva. They may just need that little extra reminder of the time you had together and your common interests. Plus, wording it this way lets them know you’re going to this event regardless of if they are or not. They can join you if they like, but you’re plans aren’t depending on it.


Ghosting may be the norm, but don’t expect me to respond to you after three weeks of silence.

Silva advocates standing up for yourself in these situations. “If they were unable to fully commit and created a false sense of hope, they were living out a lie,” she says. “You, on the other hand, were fully committed and ready to actualize your life’s desire. Remind yourself that you will have the life partner that is ideal for you.” You can subtly call them out while placing a higher value on your self-respect.


Getting ghosted on is not fun, and I'm sure you wouldn't want someone doing that to you. I hope you find what you're looking for.

This is a direct approach that calls out the ghoster. “Many other people would tell you to let it go, but I say that it's OK to embrace your anger and gain your own closure by calling out bad behavior,” explains Cherlyn Chong, breakup and dating specialist from Steps to Happyness. “Notice how you're not wishing them the best because you don't mean it. So whatever it is they are looking for, you sure hope they find it because it isn't going to be you. This text is for you and you only, and if the ghoster does reply, it would be most likely done out of guilt, and you'll be proven right.”


It appears that we have different degrees of communication. If that's the case, we should definitely see other people.

Chong suggests sending this text to a ghoster to let them know how you feel without being rude (even if you might want to be sometimes). “This text calls out the ghoster politely, but also does not mince words,” she says. “You do not appreciate the silence, and therefore you will see other people who can communicate and are honest. End of story.”


Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist/relationship coach and creator of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method

Susan Winter, relationship expert

Cherlyn Chong, breakup and dating specialist from Steps to Happyness

This article was originally published on

What to Text After Being Ghosted


By Sarah Ashley

Published Dec 4, 2021

Paramount Pictures

Unfortunately, being ghosted has nothing to do with Patrick Swayze, Devon Sawa or anyone else who played a hunky spirit in a big budget film. Quite the opposite actually. Being ghosted means someone vanishes from all communication—typically in reference to a romantic courting of sorts—and you’re left without answers, or worse, their unfinished business. Rude! The worst part about being ghosted? Plotting your next move, which usually means composing the perfect text. A post-ghost text has to do a million things at once: call them out, ask them why, let ‘em have it and get some closure. All while sounding as breezy as possible. There’s no perfect text after being ghosted, but honey, you’ve got options. Here are ten.

What is ghosting?

Ghosting is a haunting phenomenon. It happens when the person you’ve recently started dating stops contacting you cold turkey. Hilary Weinstein, LCSW, of HLW Therapy, says, “When a person ‘ghosts,’ they are non-verbally communicating to you that they are not interested, or unsure at best.” Silence is a rotten way to let someone know you no longer want to date them. In fact, part of the reason ghosting is so frustrating is because there are no specifics! The person on the receiving end is left wondering if things are totally dead and if so, why?

We like to understand why things happen. When we’re ghosted, not only do we not know why, we begin thinking we’re the problem. “[Ghosting] often starts the spiral of narratives of negative self-talk, insecurities, and replaying interactions to try to guess ‘what went wrong,’ or ‘wasn’t enough,’” says Weinstein.    

This is why that urge to text after you’ve been ghosted is so strong. We want our control back! All these emotions—anger, fear, hurt—swirl around and we choose the only weapon available to us: our phone.

Why do people ghost?

People ghost for a lot of reasons. One thing to remember: It’s not about you. For the most part, people who ghost aren’t comfortable communicating their emotions and don’t like confrontation. Breaking up with someone requires both and some folks aren’t cut out for it.

“They are giving you the gift of showing you, early on, a bunch of red flags about their ability to communicate, respect your feelings, prioritize somebody other than themselves, and basically, have their emotional shit together,” says Weinstein. “Whether or not you two shared certain interests, humor, physical attraction or otherwise is beside the point.”

Claire AH, a matchmaker, dating coach and owner of Friend of a Friend Matchmaking, reminds people that while ghosting is bad behavior, it can definitely come from a place of pain. It’s hard to know where someone is coming from if your only experience with them is a few sushi dates. In fact, when Taimi, the largest LGBTQ+ dating platform, asked users about their experiences with ghosting, several admitted they ghosted out of fear.  

One user said she even ghosted people she was sure would’ve become great partners. “I think the main reason was my fear of the unknown,” she said. “I decided to end it because at that moment I faced major abandonment issues and was simply scared of diving into things deeper and then facing a potential breakup.”

Remember this if and when you decide to text after being ghosted. Lashing out and shooting off judgmental texts isn’t a good look whether the person is struggling with abandonment issues or not.

When should you text after being ghosted?

Overwhelmingly, all the experts we consulted recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. We know! It’s hard. Sending a message is just not worth your time or energy, especially since you can’t control the response. Would it be great to have them break down crying and apologize? Yes! Does that happen? Almost never!

But, there are a few circumstances where reaching out might make sense. If any of the following apply to you, wait a week or two to cool down, then compose a text.    

  • They stood you up on a date
  • Things were going incredibly well and the communication was consistent
  • You’d been on more than four dates
  • Your sole intention is to express yourself

Ruby Payne, sex and relationship expert at UberKinky, a leading adult toy retailer, says being stood up or ghosted after four dates is grounds for a text. Payne adds, “Your goal here shouldn’t be to win them back or punish them. Don’t shout, swear or try to get them to give you another chance…Don’t hold out for a response or an apology; be the bigger person and realize you’re better off without them.”

We particularly enjoyed the advice from Dr. John De Oca, a relationship coach and nurse practitioner, who says the intention behind your text is everything. “When the intention is to get a response out of them, I believe that is when we should refrain,” he says. “Texting will allow you to make that one last effort and truly get what you need off your chest.”

If all you want is a sobbing, apologizing fool on the other end of the text, put. Down. Your. Phone.

What to text after being ghosted?

Every situation is unique, but here are ten texts to send after being ghosted. Send only one text. Don’t give in to anger. No guilt-tripping. Zero expectations.

1. “Hey, are you OK? It’s been a minute.”

Claire AH says a short, direct text is a “calm and low-intensity response that draws no attention to the matter of ghosting. Everything is kept light and open-ended.” Asking a question also shows you’re mature and haven’t freaked out yet (whether or not you have). “Whilst we may feel that the ghoster does not deserve our patience or niceties, if we want a response, we need to approach the situation in this way,” says Claire. If you don’t get a response, assume the worst (your date is not Devon Sawa or Patrick Swayze), and move on. If you do get a response, it’s possible one of our other options will work for your next text.

2. “Hey, I thought we were off to an amazing start, but you sort of disappeared.

I hope everything’s OK. If you wanna talk, I’d love to know what happened, good or bad."

This is the text you send when you really felt a serious connection—maybe the two of you even exchanged exclamations of almost love!—and are shocked about the ghosting. Beware: This is a vulnerable text and you may not like the reply (or lack thereof). Dr. Oca says, “If it feels good to you, you can acknowledge in a text that you were enjoying getting to know them and spending time with them and that you were surprised to not hear from them.” Curious, honest texts are best. Please don’t write 100 sentences. Please don’t use the words “soul mates.”

3. “Haven’t heard from you in a long time, which is a bummer. For me, this has run its course.”

It’s totally fine to say it like it is, even if you’re simply confirming it for yourself. This language also lets the ghoster know you took note of their behavior, didn’t appreciate it and are moving on. We highly recommend deleting and blocking their number after this, to avoid replying to any excuses they may send over afterwards. Stay true to your word! Let it run its course.

4. “I’m heading to Cheers tomorrow night with some friends if you’re into it! LMK, it would be great to see you.”

Instead of Cheers, obviously insert the name of the real bar you’re going to—and invite real friends. Don’t go alone and trick them into a date. This is a great way to reignite the conversation if you’re still interested and think perhaps your Sam Malone just got nervous about things getting too serious. Some people open up more around other people. If you hear nothing, do not send out any subsequent invites! This person isn’t worth the will-they-won’t-they story line.

5. “Spilled coffee on myself and thought of you haha - hope that stain came out!”

Sending a “this reminded me of you” text is a nice way to acknowledge it’s been eons since you’ve heard from this person but there are no hard feelings. “I think it's fair to send a text checking in and just saying that the person has been on your mind,” says Claire AH. Warning: Don’t send this if you are still mad at them! This is not a way to trick them into replying so you can yell at them! A shared memory says you consider your time together as the distant past—and nothing more.

6. “Hey, I had a blast with you but I need more communication. Thanks for buying me sushi!”

Acknowledging your needs is a great move. This text is ideal for folks who really did enjoy themselves and yet have no interest in seeing a person who can’t reply in a timely manner. Now, it is possible this type of message will elicit a response. If you did have a blast and the person has a valid reason why communication has suffered, maybe hear them out. But take note of the pattern. Fool me once…then never again.

7. “I wish you had been more honest with me. It doesn’t feel great.”

Telling someone they let you down is almost as hard as telling someone you don’t want to see them anymore. Confrontation is tough! If you want to let your ghoster know they hurt your feelings, put yourself front and center. Focus on how you feel. Anyone who senses hostility on the other end of the line is going to immediately go on the defensive. “It doesn't usually do much good to chastise someone,” says Claire AH. “It rarely goes well and often gets out of hand.” Warning: Do not let this turn into a tirade or argument!

8. “I feel sad things didn’t work out between us. Any chance you want to let me know what happened?”

This…is a big risk. But Claire AH says, “If you would like, you can send a single text just asking what happened. You can actually indicate that you're looking for closure so that they understand the parameters of your request.” Closure can take a while to set in. Remember, you cannot control how they’ll reply.

9. “There’s no way we won’t run into each other. Please give me space.”

Oops, did you try to date someone in your friend group or close to it? If there’s a chance you’ll run into the person who ghosted you, it’s wise to send something like this text. Setting boundaries is crucial, even with acquaintances and friends of friends.

10. Nothing

Ghosting is more about the other person than it is about you. Payne encourages people who have been ghosted to “put that effort into yourself instead. Try not to take it personally and do your best to not let them live rent free in your head. Unfollow them everywhere, delete their number, and move on. You deserve better.”

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Last SMS: what to write to the man who betrayed you

Psychology of relationships


Messages can be impulsive or pre-planned. It is the latter, in which there are fewer feelings, and more calculation, that hit harder and sometimes achieve their true goal - to humiliate, offend, and neutralize the one who reads them.

YakobchukOlena/ iStock / Getty Images Plus

Here are the text messages that women wrote in a state of resentment and anger at their partner. And how men react to such behavior, we asked the psychologist Grigory Bakhin . The opinion of a man, you see, we girls are always very interested.

Emotions spoke for me

— I am a very impulsive girl, they say about such people: first they act, and then they think, - says Alina. - When I accidentally saw my young man in a cafe with another, the phone in my hand just exploded. Of course, I dialed him to express everything, but he dropped it, and then I got carried away. nine0003

“Hey, what are you throwing off? Probably very busy. Don’t be afraid, pick up the phone, talk to me”,

“You were everything to me, how can you not appreciate it?”,

you, but I felt sorry for our memories. Why did you make everything so easy?"

“How could you, why did she give up on you, what didn’t suit you in our relationship?”0032

“Although no, it’s better if she walks with you, and with a nickel of idiots, so that you walk like a horned deer and everyone can see your status from afar.”

I sent them without re-reading

I just waited for an instant response from him, and when he did not come, I scribbled a new insult. But, to be honest, I think he didn’t give a damn about my verbal opuses and my feelings, because at that moment he was enjoying himself, and I was the defeated side.

The next day, of course, I re-read them. I felt ashamed, because through them I humiliated myself, demonstrating that I was simply dying from the pain caused by his act ( read also : 6 signs of the zodiac that are too hard on parting - check if you are among them).

By the way, he didn't call me anymore, and after that we didn't see each other for a long time. And I, remembering this story, still regret my unworthy behavior.

Revenge must be cold

- It is impossible to write an SMS that can touch the strings of the soul, cause a tear or crush in a state of passion is impossible. Such a message must be thought through, clearly chosen words, turns, insert a description of the moments that are significant to the reader. This is exactly how I behaved when I found out about the betrayal of my husband,” says Nadezhda. nine0003

At first she sobbed for several nights, and then decided to mock him a little, sending messages at the time of important meetings and negotiations in order to knock him out of his thoughts, words, uncoordinate.

“You were an important person in my life. I have always been proud of your prudence and masculinity, but with age, you, unfortunately, lost your positions, and now you can’t be called otherwise than ...”,

“Remember how you promised to give me the whole world and you yourself got high from your omnipotence ? I gave you that assurance. What do you have now? Look in the mirror. You are a loser. At work, things are not going well, the family has fallen apart, money is slipping through your fingers. Now you're not as omnipotent as you used to be, today you woke up a loser,"

“Only a real man can make a woman next to him happy. You gave me many unpleasant moments, so a simple conclusion suggests itself: you are far from the present, you are just an underdeveloped copy of it. And, wow, someone will be lucky to be with you.

A man flares up a match reading something like this, because these words hit the most important thing, self-esteem

However, it is not always possible to know whether your message was effective. Perhaps the kilometers of your feelings and the sea of ​​​​tears shed in messengers, even no one read. I saw - and erased. And you sit, wondering: “Why isn’t he calling?”, “Is it possible to remain silent in response to this?” nine0003

Of course, you will not suffer from such doubts if you express all your claims in live communication. Yes, it will turn out to be more chaotic, more emotional, less beautiful, and you may seem pathetic, but the emotions of another person will be in full view for you and you won’t have to guess whether you got through to his heart or not ( read also : 4 ways to return a man after a breakup).

WDay.ru asked a psychologist about whether it is worth writing SMS, whether a man reads them, and how a woman should behave correctly so that she would not be ashamed later Grigory Bakhina :

Of course, it is better to end any relationship and any communication in the process of a lively dialogue, yes, it is more difficult, because it is difficult to find words, emotions, and the energy of a person who is nearby covers you. There is no time to think, weigh all the words, clearly build sentences and a line of behavior.

In an email, you can think through each sentence, guess the emotion it will evoke, and lead the reader through the letters to the desired goal - the state.

It is important to understand that any message has its own purpose. We speak in words, but at the same time, each of them has its own specific meaning. It is not always possible to express everything that you feel. You can write "I love you", but a person will never believe it, because behind these words there is an energy that the recipient of the message does not feel.

Does a man read such messages?

Everything depends on the relationship of the partners; of course, if they spent a lot of time with each other, then it is important to understand at what stage they break up and what is the reason for the breakup. If emotions have not cooled down yet, then one message can turn into a correspondence to sort things out for several hours, or even weeks, into thousands of messages read and sent. nine0003

Now it is very easy to check if a message has been read or not, phones have a special function for this. Very often, a partner worries about his beloved, but does not want a long correspondence with mutual accusations, so he prefers to read the messages, but not to answer. It is very important here to keep a sober head, not to turn into a spam mailing, but to find internal resources in yourself, show character and respect for your personality and let the person go.

If there is a reason for such behavior, then what is the best way to write so that both the meaning is conveyed and there is no shame afterwards? nine0026

It is better to convey any meaning within a specific context, and not go far beyond it. If your partner left you and went to another, then it is important to analyze this behavior, it is very important that it be dissociated. Each person understands why a partner left him, where he didn’t give him something or, on the contrary, fell in love too much.

Breaking up is always difficult, but self-flagellation or blaming your partner for all the sins will not lead to success. You can sit down, talk calmly and find out everything - part, if not as friends, but at least as civilized people. nine0003

When we are abandoned, we feel deceived and want revenge. It is very important to refrain from the first spontaneous decisions of such behavior, because later, when the mind cools down, you will definitely be ashamed of such behavior (read also: Royal Divorce: 10 most scandalous partings of monarchs).

You always need to think about your integrity, about your future, it is this that allows you to find resources in order to survive the separation. You can learn the ability to close relationships, and not translate them into a pathological state of love, when you write SMS day and night, you want to take revenge and make your ex hurt as much as possible, you can learn. nine0003


Do you write such SMS to your man?

  • Yes, I can't resist


  • I never write, I always speak only to my face


  • Everything always happens to me in different ways. See what the situation is. But if I want to speak, I will never remain silent. Irina Volga What to say to a guy when breaking up so that he regrets. How to write a message to a guy to hook him

    Are you still waiting for a response from your loved one? He promised to call in five minutes an hour ago? Disappointed that this is not the first time something like this has happened? Or maybe he just left after you once again quarreled, contemptuously muttering another insult through his teeth? Or even worse - you do not know how to stir it up, make it less cold and indifferent? Write him a message that could hurt him!

    Indisputable fact - men are less emotional than women. They attach much less importance to words, preferring to prove their case with deeds. They do not understand how important it is to hear something from them, to feel an emotional response, to make sure that you are still loved. Often they have to be provoked to release emotions in not very pleasant ways - scandals, tantrums, offensive or catchy SMS . .. In the struggle for relationships, like in war - all means are good!

    However, many girls, in principle, do not accept too much emotional pressure on a man. Shouts and quarrels, even just raising the tone are considered by them as a sign of disrespect for themselves and for the guy. In this case, the only thing left for them as an "auxiliary circle" is a biting tenacious word. One SMS or VKontakte message can make a guy nervous, worried, suffer, or vice versa - to please him, interest, excite, awaken some tender feelings. How to do all this? How to learn to subjugate guys with words? About this - in our article! nine0003

    What to text a guy to get hurt?

    Let's first figure out what exactly we want: : somehow take revenge, anger, hook a guy or vice versa, interest and please him. As you understand, the approaches in this case will be fundamentally different.

    The main advice that can be given to girls who want to pleasantly surprise a guy and interest him is to be straightforward, but mysterious, cute, but dangerous, funny, but a little sad . .. In general, your goal is create a controversial image and a double impression. A man should think: “But what, in fact, is this beauty like?”. If he asks himself this question - that's it, you can assume that it's in the bag.

    So, here are some tips you can give to girls who want to pleasantly interest a young man:

    1. Don't be afraid to write first. There is nothing terrible or shameful in this - moreover, guys often appreciate initiative in the fair sex! But it is better if the first message is not too intrusive. Experienced seductresses generally advise starting a dialogue as if by chance: “Listen, does this group (insert the guy’s favorite group here, from which you are “crazy” too) come to us? Don't know how to get a ticket?”, “Please help me find a good programmer… Oh, so it's you? That's lovely!". nine0002 Think of a reason to apply - if you feel that the attempt to communicate has failed, you can smoothly round off the conversation and leave gracefully without hurting your pride and dignity.

      If you like each other, then everyone will understand that your message is just a pretext.

    2. Don't be afraid to joke! Humor is your best assistant! Everything here will depend on your image: if you are a quivering young lady, do not allow yourself rude humor. If you are “your boyfriend”, then some not quite feminine jokes will be quite forgivable to you and will even add charm to you in his eyes. nine0138
    3. Do not impose. If you feel that the dialogue is "stuck" - it is better to stop communication at least for a while. If the chill does not go away - this is not your option. If everything goes well, that's just great!
    4. Show interest in his hobbies. Get interested in football, yoga, exotic animals or stamp collecting... In general, become not only a pleasant, but also an interesting conversationalist! A phrase about his hobbies, successfully inserted into the conversation, can play a decisive role in your relationship. nine0138
    5. Do not write two sentences: "I'm bored" and "Tell me something." This is guaranteed to push anyone away from you, even the most patient guy!
    6. Be extraordinary. Change your writing style from time to time. Instead of a restrained text, send a beautiful verse, become a naughty joker from a responsible girl for at least 5 minutes. Your goal is not to get bored. Remember: you are not a boring, always the same girl, but a deep multifaceted personality that is constantly changing! It’s good if everything is just beginning in your relationship and you want to evoke positive emotions in a guy. But it also happens that it is necessary to anger a young man, upset him - in other words, hurt him. nine0138

    • A lot depends on what kind of relationship you are in . If you have been together for a long time, then you know all his weak points and can easily put pressure on them. For example, your boyfriend is jealous. In a short SMS, you can beat it beautifully: “You had reasons to do this to me. But don't worry - there is someone to comfort me." On the one hand, your mother, sister, girlfriend can console you ... But the imagination of a jealous person will not draw this at all, which is just right for you! nine0138
    • Try texting to answer the question he often poses in front of you in the heat of a quarrel. For example, he constantly asks you: "Why are you asking me questions if you don't want to listen to the answers?" If you text him something like this: “You know, I often ask you about everything, hoping for the best option. But your answers are killing our relationship and I don’t want to accept them.” Influencing what excites a person emotionally will provide you with his thoughts and feelings about your SMS. nine0138
    • After a stormy quarrel with screams, mutual accusations and broken dishes romantic SMS works very well with a touch of sadness. For example, “That’s when you didn’t yell at me. And for every tear I shed, you were ready to die. What have we done with our love? Where did those feelings go? Most importantly, don't blame the guy. Your task is to bring back memories of the old days, and not make him feel guilty. He himself will think and repent, the main thing is to prevent a moralizing tone in SMS. nine0138
    • Use code words and sentences in SMS , which are used by your pair. Comic nicknames, phrases from shared videos ... This method is very good when you need to hook a guy after a long, drawn-out quarrel, the Cold War. Your "family" phrases are guaranteed to melt the ice of his heart.

    What exactly should not be in your message:

    • rudeness and insults;
    • mat;
    • accusations of sexual failure;
    • reproaches for physical imperfections;
    • whining and snot, lengthy regrets about the past;
    • phrases a la "I'll drown myself, hang myself, shoot myself, leave without a hat on a cold night";
    • the phrase "I'm pregnant" if it's not true. In no case do not write this - this is not forgiven.

    Control yourself and select expressions according to the situation. And try to wait some time after a quarrel - so the information is better perceived. Immediately in hot pursuit, we perceive information differently than with a fresh mind. nine0003

    Now you know what to text a guy to get hurt. But what if this guy is an ex? This is written below.

    You broke up - no matter on whose initiative, no matter how smoothly and how many tears there were. The important thing is that you are no longer together, you are not one. Sometimes you want to take revenge on your ex, sometimes you just want to make him think only of you. Sometimes - so that he regrets that he left you. Lots of options. How to make your ex-boyfriend hurt your message? nine0003

    1. Do not write romantically. He may think that you are imposing and want to renew the relationship. Under no circumstances should this be allowed!
    2. Try to write indifferently. You see, every guy in the depths of his soul considers himself the very best, the most irresistible, the most unforgettable. The only thing they can't stand is indifference! Therefore, write dryly, restrainedly, indifferently.
    3. If the breakup was difficult, you can write that you are inviting him to a party nine0167 (of course, the date should be when he cannot come). This will show that you do not suffer at all from a break in relations, do not think that he suffers and are indifferent to him - you are ready to calmly communicate with him despite everything that happened between you.
    4. Do not write corny. "I felt bad in bed with you", "I'm pregnant", "I cheated on you" - this is all the last century. Boring, hackneyed, sometimes even funny. The guy will not hurt, only amuse or disappoint you.
    5. nine0190 Try writing something ironic , with subtext. The phrase “The cat misses you. A naive animal ”- allows you to express all the negativity in relation to the guy. “Oh, what a pity - your mug broke. I can’t transmit” will make you think why you broke it or who broke it - wonder what is happening, why they treat him badly. “I was looking for sadness from parting. Not found. Let's break up one more time, we did something wrong ”can hurt a guy very much, especially if he had a hard time with your breakup. nine0138

    In writing SMS to your ex, your main task is not to dramatize , cause not pity, but envy and admiration .

    Let him bite his elbows because he lost a gorgeous girl!

    As you can see, the best way to offend a guy, call him to a dialogue, get an emotional response from him is to write him without snotty rhymes about love, without tantrums and regrets about the past. Humor, indifference and restraint are the three best ways to offend a guy. nine0003

    Video: Tactics of communication with men

    Well, in order to interest a man, to please him, you need to behave as naturally as possible, treat everything with humor, not impose yourself and not pour tons of negativity on him. If you follow these simple rules, then he will never leave you anywhere.

    Hello again!

    Are you sure you really want this? Then read my examples of SMS that you can write to your ex-boyfriend so that he wants to return to you. nine0003

    Be sure to pause communication for about 2-3 weeks.

    What can you write to an ex-boyfriend after breaking up

    If you are to blame:

    • My only happiness is your face.
    • With our parting, all the stars in the sky went out for me. Without you, I wander in the dark.
    • I have only one desire left - to return to the past and correct what happened. Alas, it will never come true.
    • Losing you, I lost a piece of myself. nine0138
    • There are no ideal people. If you could forgive me, I would prove how strong my feelings for you are.
    • Do you remember how we .... (walked in the park, loved to lie on the couch together, roller-skated). I really miss this.
    • Separation from you is the worst punishment for my actions. I still hope you come back.
    • I realized that I didn't want to do 3 things. 1) to be separated from you; 2) fall asleep without you; 3) drink coffee in the morning alone. nine0138

    I thought that after parting, the love in my heart for you would fade away. But it's the other way around. The flame flared up so that it became difficult to breathe without you.

    • I would like to take away all the pain that I caused you. After all, you are the most precious person in the world to me.

    Here, so that he understands what you need.

    If the ex-boyfriend is to blame, here is what you can write to him after breaking up:

    • Let's start all over again? Without quarrels, tears, insults, omissions and reproaches.
    • Recently I was going through things and saw our photo together. We are so happy with it. Maybe we should try to find happiness again together?
    • I saw your favorite sweets in the store. I immediately thought of you and bought them. Would you like to stop by for a cup of tea and discuss a truce?
    • I no longer have the strength to be offended, angry with you. There is only strength for love or friendship. What do you think about that? nine0138
    • It turns out that watching a movie on the couch alone is not as interesting as it is with you. We urgently need to reconcile!
    • Do you remember how you were when you were a child? Make up, make up, and don't fight anymore... let's make peace for the last time, and if you mess up, will I bite you?
    • I love myself the way I was next to you: happy and loved. If there's even a small chance of doing it all again, let me know.
    • I cooked a truce dinner! I also bought a bottle of truce wine, and truce fruit! I propose to bury the hatchet and move on to negotiations at the table. Agree? nine0138

    If you feel as bad without me as I do without you, call me.

    • They say that there is only one step from love to hate. .. But I only have love for you, no matter what.

    As an option - try to touch his heart ...

    What to write to an ex-boyfriend so that he will be hurt and he will return

    Only you can hurt your man with a word. Do you know what a guy will react to immediately? If not, then see my list:

    • You owe me... to give back my wounded heart.
    • You forgot to give me... my soul.
    • What a fool (?) you are...if you think I'm still angry with you.
    • I know that you are still not dating anyone. However, one beauty still has warm feelings for you. Guess what's her name?
    • I accidentally threw all your gifts into the trash can. Unfortunately, I can't return them to you. Maybe I can give something in return?

    I'm not at all sad after parting. They must have gone wrong. We need to get back together, and again part as it should.

    Our breakup helped me rethink a lot of things in life. Now I'm finally moving on without looking back. Only positive! Call me if you want.

    I see no reason to meet with you except for one. (What???) Return our photos to each other (gifts, rings).

    • I'm better off without you. Calm down. Happier. You probably would have liked the current me more. nine0138
    • Now I understand why we broke up. I'm just irresistible, and you can't stand the competition.
    • You can't forget to return. Put a comma where you see fit.
    • I urgently need a companion. Can I trust you like an old friend? (Either he will be furious: old? Familiar? Or intrigued).
    • If I offended you in some way, I apologize. I don't want you to be negative towards me. (Further on, logically, he should write about his feelings). nine0138
    • Now the reason for our quarrel seems ridiculous to me. And you? (Yes / no - and you can start a dialogue).

    How to leave a guy if there is no love already, you are tired of his bad behavior, you met another and so on.

    This will be discussed. Faced with such a problem, we do not know what to do so as not to offend a person.

    And this is really very important, because perhaps he, unlike you, cannot live without you.

    So, if you don't want suicidal consequences, tears and long drinking, read our advice carefully. nine0003

    They should help you leave the guy right, not break his heart, and keep your conscience clear.

    When should you leave your boyfriend?

    Before parting with a person, make sure it is really necessary. It often happens that we are already tired of each other and there is a desire to finish.

    This feeling can be imaginary, and after the breakup you will regret it for a very long time. To prevent this from happening, leave the guy if:

    • he doesn't pay enough attention to you; nine0138
    • does not find time to work for you;
    • he has constant problems;
    • he uses physical and moral violence;
    • insults and threatens;
    • lying;
    • changes.

    These are obvious facts that should make you want to leave your boyfriend. Because he is not a man!

    When it comes to attention, you shouldn't be asking for it all the time. Feeling a lack of love, you should think about how to leave a guy and why do you need one. nine0003

    Don't overdo it here, because you may not be a gift either. Girls in general are often capricious and constantly demand. Any man will avoid.

    Make a conclusion based on understanding in relation to the guy. He is also a man and has the right to his affairs.

    Still, you shouldn't feel lonely, misunderstood, or without support.

    It is even worse if a young man comes to you only for satisfaction, but not in any way. You definitely need to dump the guy here. nine0003

    Remember, no matter how busy your boyfriend is, he must find time for you. Otherwise, you just don't need him.

    If you hear constant excuses like: the phone is dead or left at home, does not answer SMS, is late for meetings with you or does not show up at all, most likely he is lying to you.

    You can also judge your relationship by little things. If a guy doesn’t walk you home, doesn’t open the car door, doesn’t give you a lift from work, and so on, then he’s not trying to make your life better. You should leave this guy. nine0003

    One can hardly ever forget this feeling of pain and resentment that overwhelms the soul. But life doesn't end there.

    The main thing to do after parting is not to try to get back, not to look for meetings with him, not to call him, not to ask him to stay, not to intimidate him, but just take care of yourself. Try to adequately pass this stage in your life. Believe me, what is not being done is being done only for the better. Thanks to this gap, you can seriously take care of yourself - your appearance, figure, self-education, let new interesting people into your life. Well, if you want to send a goodbye letter to your ex, but you don’t know what to write to the guy to hurt him, I will help you. nine0003

    But first of all, try to pull yourself together and start enjoying life. Whenever possible, do everything that brings you Go in for fitness, go to the gym, buy new things, get a beautiful haircut, pedicure and manicure. In no case do not abuse alcohol and do not fall into the arms of the first comer. Do not lock yourself in, but go to people. Meet other girls and guys. The more you communicate and work on yourself, the faster you will forget your ex. nine0003

    But if the same thought constantly flashes through your head: “I want to return the guy!”, try writing him a farewell letter. Of course, there is no guarantee that he will read it at all, but if you really want this, then it's worth a try. So, let's begin.

    What to write to a guy to get him hurt?

    1. In no case should you write that he is an idiot, a goat and is not even worth your little finger.

    2. In the letter, you should simply thank your ex-boyfriend for spending wonderful months (years) with him. nine0003

    3. It is necessary to mention the mistakes that you made when you met him

    4. It is necessary to end with the words that you really need to leave.

    Example of a farewell letter

    You did the right thing by breaking off your relationship with me. I didn't really take care of you the way you deserved it, I wasn't a good lover and I didn't even try to understand you. I want to thank you for the happy years (months) that we spent together. I understand that it was not easy for you with me: not loving, you could treat me so beautifully. Let's not talk and meet anymore. Katia nine0320

    You can improvise. If you have not yet decided what to write to the guy so that he is hurt, do not write anything at all. Remember that if this guy really was your soulmate, he would be with you, no matter what.

    I hope that after reading this article, you have drawn the right conclusions for yourself, and to the question of what to write to a guy to hurt him, you firmly answered: “NOTHING!”. Why waste time and energy on a person to whom you were just comfortable at some period of time. Do not doubt that your soulmate will definitely meet on your long life path. Good luck to you and only mutual love! nine0003


    Prepare the ground for parting in advance. Start meeting less often, talking less, let him know that a split has occurred in the relationship. If the breakup occurs unexpectedly, it will be difficult for him to believe and accept it. And if he remembers that there was a split in the relationship, it will be easier for him to accept the fact of separation.

    Of course, it is better to report a breakup in person to show your respect for your partner. But if it is difficult or inconvenient for you to tell such news in your eyes, use the letter. But not an SMS message, because it fits a small amount. It is better to write a letter by hand or, as a last resort, in personal messages of social networks. nine0003

    Think about the reasons for your separation. If there is nothing offensive for the guy in them, you can indicate them in the letter. But only if it does not concern his appearance, material wealth or other personal problems. You can talk about your incompatibility, for example, if you want to have children, but he is not ready for them.

    Do not sort things out and do not blame him for something. The last letter should leave a good impression of you, and you should not bring up old grievances, scandals and remember his mistakes. nine0003

    Don't give up hope. The letter should make it clear that everything is over between you. If he has faith in your future, the young man will not be able to go further. So write that you have thought about the situation and weighed everything well. You firmly believe that you have no future, and it would be best to leave now.

    Wish you good luck and a happy personal life. Write that you sincerely wish him to find mutual love with another girl who will appreciate him, and they will be happy. Remind them not to despair and shut themselves up. nine0003

    Don't try to hurt the young man.

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