Why do people jerk off
Facts About Male & Female Masturbation
In This Section
- Masturbation
- Is Masturbation Healthy?
It’s totally normal to masturbate (touch yourself for sexual pleasure) whether you’re sexually active with other people or not. Masturbation even has health benefits, like reducing stress.
Do most people masturbate?
Lots of people masturbate! Even if they don't talk about it, it’s common for people of any gender or age to do it. Even before puberty, children sometimes discover that touching their genitals feels good. If you have kids and notice them touching their genitals, let them know that it's completely normal, but something they should do in private.
People masturbate for different reasons — it helps them relax, they want to understand their body better, they want to release sexual tension, or their partner isn’t around. But most people masturbate because it feels good. Many people think that masturbation is only something you do when you don’t have a sex partner. But both single people and people in relationships masturbate.
Some people masturbate often, others rarely, and some people don’t masturbate at all. Different people masturbate in different ways, for different reasons. Masturbation is a totally personal decision, and there’s no “normal” way to go about it.
Is it OK to masturbate if you’re in a relationship?
Definitely. Lots of people in relationships masturbate. Masturbating when you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean your partner isn’t satisfying you. It’s a great way to figure out what you like and what makes you have an orgasm. Then you can show or tell your partner what feels good. Talking about sex with your partner can make it more fun and can even make your relationship stronger.
Some people masturbate at the same time as their partner. It’s a way to be sexual together without having any risk of STDs or pregnancy.
More questions from patients:
What are some masturbation tips?
Masturbation is a great way to get to know your body. It’s totally healthy and normal — most people masturbate at some point in their lives.
There are tons of myths meant to scare you into thinking masturbation is wrong or bad. The truth is, it’s perfectly safe. Masturbating won't make you blind, crazy, or stupid. It won’t damage your genitals, cause pimples, or stunt your growth. It doesn’t use up all your orgasms or ruin other kinds of sex.
Here are some masturbation tips:
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Wash your hands before touching your penis, vulva, vagina, or anus.
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Use a good lubricant. It lowers friction, which helps prevent small tears in your skin and makes things more comfortable.
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Clean your sex toys.
Otherwise bacteria can build up and cause an infection. The best way to protect sex toys is with a condom that you change whenever the toy is passed from partner to partner or from one body opening to another — mouth, anus, or vagina. If you don’t use condoms, clean sex toys before and after every use. Read the instructions on the package for how to clean your toy. -
Don’t share sex toys with multiple partners without cleaning/using new condoms every time. They can pass along STDs.
Is there a difference between male and female masturbation?
There are more similarities than differences between male and female masturbation. That’s because everyone masturbates differently and there’s no single “right” way to do it.
You might think that guys are the only ones who masturbate. But that’s just not true!
Regardless of your gender, masturbation is totally healthy and normal. It’s a great way to get to know your body and what feels good.
It’s also 100% safe — no risk of pregnancy or STDs.
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Why Do People Masturbate? The Most Popular Reasons For Solo Sex
Life
by Amanda Chatel
Ashley Batz/Bustle
Masturbation isn't always about sexual urges — a fact I had to explain to a friend who walked in on her husband masturbating, took it as a personal affront, and locked herself in the bathroom for hours to cry. Those who masturbate regularly, have less stress, stronger immune systems, sleep better and, honestly, I can't think of a more fantastic way to kill time when you're bored — and none of these reasons to masturbate are necessarily affiliated with sexual desire. If anything, they're more affiliated with the healthy positive effects masturbation has on us not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. A well-masturbated body makes for a very happy brain.
"Get your brain on board with masturbation and your body will thank you," Emily Morse, Doctor of Human Sexuality and host of the Sex With Emily podcast, tells Bustle.
"Remember that arousal starts in your head and works its way down. If your mind is good and turned on, it won’t be long until the rest of your body follows suit. To get that big sexy brain on board, start exploring your fantasies and finding new mental triggers that can fuel your self-love sessions."
A lot of people masturbate. Actually, almost everyone masturbates. According to a new survey by Tenga of 1,200 Americans, 95 percent of men and 81 percent of women have masturbated in their lifetime. As for how often people are masturbating, the survey found that men do it, on average, 15 times a month, while women do it eight times a month... I did it almost eight times before work today, but I digress. But why people masturbate is another story entirely.
Tenga asked those 1,200 Americans the reasons behind their masturbation practices. And while sexual pleasure was, naturally, on the list, it's definitely not the only reason people indulge in the ever-popular practice of self-love.
1
To Relieve Sexual Tension
Ashley Batz/Bustle
According to the survey, 59 percent of respondents masturbate to relieve sexual tension. Which, at least in my humble opinion, defeats the positive impact on one's sex life that sexual tension can offer. Sexual tension, if allowed to build, can actually create even better sex. Just a bit of food for thought right there.
2
For Sexual Pleasure
Ashley Batz/Bustle
Well, of course this is on the list because, well, of course. The survey found that for 56 people, sexual pleasure is the top reason they masturbate. I mean it is, after all, linked to sex, so it makes sense that it's going to pop on the list at some point.
3
For Relaxation And Stress Relief
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
Of those surveyed, 54 percent masturbate to decrease stress and relax. Between the endorphins that are released during masturbation, the lowered blood pressure it can produce, and release of stress-related tension, turning to masturbation as a healthy — and natural — way to take a load of, so speak, is great option.
And a far healthier habit than reaching for a bourbon, at least in the long run.
4
To Sleep Better
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
I can attest to the fact that masturbating before bed is far more efficient (and fun) than any sleeping pill I've ever taken, and as someone who struggles to fall asleep and stay asleep, my doctors have prescribed a lot of sleeping aids to try. But, time and time again, it's masturbation that wins and 26 percent of those surveyed know this, because this is why they masturbate. Again, we have the releasing of those endorphins that will knock you right out, helping you sleep like a baby.
5
Millennials Do It To Improve Their Performance
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
For 13 percent of Americans, they masturbate to improve their sexual performance. When broken down by generation, 18 percent of millennials masturbate for this reason, while 13 percent of gen-Xers and seven percent of baby boomers report the same.
Masturbation improves sexual performance in a few ways. For starters, it strengthens the pelvic floor, leading to not just the frequency of orgasms, but the intensity of them, too. Secondly, masturbation teaches you what you like, what you don't like, and what techniques work for you. The more you know about your body, the more satisfying your sex life with someone else will be. Thirdly, regular masturbation keeps you feeling sexual, which adds to your desire... and the more you desire and crave sex, the better your sexual performance will be and your sex life will reap the benefits.
6
People Who Try Mutual Masturbation Love It
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
If you haven't tried mutual masturbation, it's time. Mutual masturbation isn't just a fun way to get a sex session off on the right foot, but when you masturbate in front of your partner, you're giving them a very personal, one-on-one lesson in what you like, and, in doing so, it makes you more comfortable with your body.
Of the 1,200 people surveyed, 95 percent of them who have masturbated in front of a partner describe the experience as "good," "very good," or downright "excellent."
7
Some Find It More Pleasurable Than Sex With A Partner
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
As much as I love sex, sometimes I prefer masturbation. I can get in, get out, don't have to cater to someone else's need, and masturbation, in regards to orgasms, is always a sure thing. That being said, for 21 percent of men and 30 percent of women, the reason they masturbate is because they prefer it — and there's nothing wrong with that. No one knows your body like you do, so it's up to you what feels best at any given moment.
Of course these are just a few reasons reasons why people masturbate. I'm surprised as to why the stats on how many people do it out of boredom isn't on there, because according to We-Vibe's 2015 Masturbation Report, 26 percent of people jerk off when they're bored.
These are my kind of people.
But no matter the reasons why you're masturbating, what matters most is that you are masturbating. There are no downsides to solo sex, so you really have no reason not to do it — and I can't stress enough just how beneficial it really is.
reasons that men and specialists say
18+
You wake up in the morning and realize that your boyfriend, who is lying next to you in bed, is engaged in self-satisfaction. Do you want to tell him: “Baby, what about me”? And in general, how to behave in such a situation and why do men masturbate in general, even if they are in a relationship?
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Valeria
intimate life
intimate psychology
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According to statistics, about 80 percent of men and almost 50 percent of women masturbate.
In fact, the numbers are higher. Today we are not talking about women. But they are often concerned with the question: why do men like to masturbate? And when they notice their boyfriend masturbating, they begin to worry themselves: “My boyfriend is no longer interested in me, he doesn’t like sex with me!”
Why do men often masturbate? Yes, if only because men and women perceive sex differently Men can do this to relieve stress, and women can do it to find harmony with their partner.0003
But why does he masturbate, instead of waking up a living, beloved and seemingly usually desired girl sleeping next to him?
Because ... wants to masturbate
"I confess, I have this sexual fantasy: the girl woke up, caught me and ... joined!" Roman (25)
Why do guys masturbate? one of the erotic fantasies that they do not dare to say out loud. But if the girl herself is not averse to taking the initiative and starting first, such a process can diversify intimate life.
And most importantly, it will allow you to be closer to each other, show more trust.
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“This happened to me during the preparation for the case - when I planned to wake the girl up with sex or cunnilingus. But in the process I got carried away, with whom it does not happen. Another possible reason is that the girl herself is a sexual fantasy. It's nice to look at her, it's nice to dream about her. In any case, such a situation is a manifestation of a man's trust in a woman. If I didn’t trust, I went to the bathroom. So not "Why didn't you wake me up?!" but "Do you mind if I join?"0027 Valery (28)
Masturbation as self-love
In the Netherlands, for example, masturbation is considered an extremely important matter. There is even a Rotterdam Center for Self-Satisfaction, where self-love is studied as a science. Students are taught theory and applied disciplines, such as "Masturbation and aesthetic pleasure" or "Contemplation of natural landscapes during masturbation.
" Why do men masturbate? In this country, such a piquant topic became the subject of research by scientists who saw important psychological aspects in male self-satisfaction. There is no other country in the world with such concern for men's health.
Because ... cares
Why do men want to masturbate? As ironic as it may sound, sometimes they do it out of love and respect for their partner. And what if she has “those days” and she definitely doesn’t have time for sex, but a man needs a release? That's when they, too, can resort to self-satisfaction.
“If a wife runs so much during the day that she is unlikely to be able to fully indulge in sex at night, I won’t wake her up. But if it's not, I try to stir it up. Soft". Marat (29)
Male animals also masturbate. Porcupines in a state of sexual arousal walk on three legs, and the fourth is kept on the genitals.
An elephant stimulates a semi-erect penis with its trunk. Even if self-satisfaction is inherent in animals by nature, then what can we say about people. It is not always possible to find bad sides in this process. Sometimes a man, being in a relationship, satisfies himself for the sake of taking care of his beloved.
Because ... has the right to masturbate
“For men, masturbation is an expression of freedom: he wanted to have sex with his woman, he wanted to have sex with himself. If a girl often reproaches him for this (they say, you have me!), She may lose her beloved. Don't encroach on our rights!" Eugene (27)
Masturbation is a legal right
According to the definition of the World Health Organization, masturbation is “the legal right of a person to give himself pleasure and dispose of his own body”. Therefore, before asking the question: "Why do men want to masturbate?", remember that everyone has the right to dispose of his body and his desires.
Because...wants to relieve stress quickly
“Masturbation is a way to relieve stress. And quite energy-intensive: no need to involve the girl, think about her pleasure, puff and move. It's just you, your hand, and here it is - detente. Igor (32)
Why do men masturbate? Yes, the representatives of the stronger sex have such a feature. They can relieve stress in two ways - sex or alcohol. Everyone chooses what he likes. In favor of self-satisfaction is the fact that he requires less various costs from a man. There is no need to persuade a woman to have intimacy, create a suitable atmosphere, waste time on foreplay. I just went to the toilet, took out my "unit", a few minutes and the discharge was received.
“It's faster and sometimes more enjoyable, especially if you're tired, than having sex. He jerked the shutter and with a sense of satisfaction (including moral) - to sleep! But just “masturbating a girl” (waking her up for an erection) is much more disrespectful.
Michael (31)
Millions of people masturbate
Don't be surprised when you wonder why a man masturbates. In fact, 50 million people masturbate every second in the world! And if you saw your boyfriend in the process of self-satisfaction, just mentally write in this list of perfectly normal people who needed a quick discharge at that moment.
Because ...likes and/or is lazy
“I often masturbate when my partner is asleep. Often after sex. Why? Yes, because I love doing it. For no particular reason." Gennady, (27)
Why do men masturbate even when in a relationship with the woman they love. Simply because they enjoy the process. And they see no other reasons for masturbation.
“Do you want to be honest? Sometimes too lazy to strain. Sex is more than an hour, and then you still need to wash, smoke.
And get up early for work. And not all women like being woken up.” Denis (32)
Men in relationships often masturbate
Men in stable relationships masturbate more often than women in relationships. Why do men masturbate? The answers are above. You should not make a big deal out of molehills when the partner's relationship is still strong and he talks about his love. He likes self-satisfaction, which means that he considers it necessary for his body.
Because... the girl refused
It happened to me when a girl refused sex. She lies all so beautiful, half asleep and absolutely uninterested in my erection. Well, what to do? Just masturbate! Kirill, (31)
Why do men want to masturbate? But this is the very case when the reason may be in the woman herself. She showed no interest in her partner, turned out to be not interested in intimacy, rudely responded to his offer to have sex.
And the guy has nothing left but self-satisfaction.
A woman rarely wants sex so-and-so, that she is ready to sacrifice sleep and a rested appearance in the morning, but a man - easily. Well, since she refused and is sleeping, then I will be alone with myself. Maxim, (27)
Masturbation as a threat to relationships
Why does a man masturbate? Because he lacks intimacy, tenderness, care, attention and corny - sex. Sexual dissatisfaction can be a serious threat to a relationship. Experts put this reason on a par with psychological incompatibility, which, according to statistics, most often leads to divorce.
"The reason is simple: I had an erection, but I didn't wake up the miracle that was sniffing nearby." Andrey (37 )
But if a partner often refuses offers of sex, a man may start thinking about what he can find himself and another woman.
Why does a man masturbate: what do women say
How do girls react when they find their beloved doing an interesting activity? They... are silent. Why a guy masturbates remains a mystery to her. She begins to imagine that he has another, he has taken a mistress. But the lack of knowledge of how to be in such a situation creates an awkward situation. And women are really just silent and don't know how to behave.
Women are silent
“When I realized that my husband lying next to me was masturbating, I wanted to... joke. But she resisted, remembering that laughter and sex are not always compatible. I waited for him to finish and fell asleep." Tatyana, (26)
I convinced myself that it seemed to me. After all, it can't be that he masturbates instead of waking me up! Especially since we just went to bed.” Ekaterina, (24)
When a guy masturbates, women join the process
“I am absolutely calm about the fact that my man masturbates - it means that at the moment he has chosen this type of pleasure.
I also have different desires. And if I want, I can just join.” Ekaterina, (23)
“I think the best option in such a situation is to help my MCH, as much as I have enough vigor (I’m awake!) and imagination.” Lina, (24)
Fortunately, many women are able to understand their partner and avoid unnecessary questions: “Why does my boyfriend masturbate?”
Ask questions
“I was a bit taken aback when I found him masturbating. But she did not think of anything, but simply asked why. He honestly answered that he woke up from sexual arousal, began to pester me, but I refused through a dream, and he didn’t go to the bathroom, because it’s more pleasant to do this when there is a half-naked beloved nearby. After this frank conversation, we had great sex. And now, when he suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, he always wakes me up.” Tatyana, (27)
And sometimes a right and timely question, as well as an honest answer to it, allows a couple to become closer.
Why a man masturbates - found out. Found the reasons. And got rid of them.
Everyone understands
“I don’t mind. And I even admit that he, lying next to me, fantasizes about the other. The main thing is not to go to this other person in reality. His fantasies are part of his personal space, which cannot be deprived of. Evgeniya, (30)
Why do men masturbate? Yes, sometimes in their fantasies they imagine another woman, for example, a famous actress. But that doesn't mean the guy is cheating.
Happy when a guy masturbates
Why does a guy masturbate? Because he cares about his partner and does not want to wake her up? And why does a woman, noticing him in the process of self-satisfaction, not ask questions? Because she understood without words and does not want to start explaining how terribly tired she was during the day, and that she has no time for sex?
“I was glad he didn't wake me up.
That day I was tired, I was exhausted. Well done for not bothering me." Lika, (30)
“I distinguish between making love for feelings and masturbation for stress relief. It would be unpleasant for me if he woke me not for the sake of love, but for the sake of his desire to "blow off steam." Alena, (29)
They get indignant when a guy masturbates
“I think it’s right to be indignant out loud, but not to offend: “Why didn’t you wake me up? You know, I always want you!” Marina, (22)
Such words are surely pleasant to every man. And to the question - why do men masturbate, there is one answer: because there is not always mutual understanding with their partner.
They answer the same
“We have the opposite. Sometimes it’s me who can’t sleep and pornographic thoughts come into my head.
It's a shame to wake up your husband. It would be better if three kingpins fall in love with me in fantasies than I disturb him.” Alina, (27)
Women are not alien to self-satisfaction. If you wonder why guys masturbate, it can be redirected to girls too, because women do it too.
Scientific causes of male masturbation
Why does a man masturbate? Sexologist Valery Saltykov believes that the absolute number of sexually mature men are prone to self-satisfaction, and they do it if possible, and not at will, as is commonly believed. And he adds that a man will begin to masturbate even if he has two permanent sexual partners. Either a low sexual need or religious taboos can make him neglect self-satisfaction.
Alena August, psychotherapist, VIP coach, says: “I can say one thing for sure: no one should worry, but you can and should think about why this is happening.
Why does a man masturbate and when should you worry about it?
1. It should be remembered that masturbation for a man is an easy way to relieve stress. Why is he not doing this with his beloved? Because a girl needs kisses and caresses, assurances of feelings and gentle words, an aura and an atmosphere. Masturbation, on the other hand, guarantees an "ambulance" without candles, roses and champagne. That's why guys masturbate even when they have a regular partner.
1. Sex with a partner and other ways of satisfaction coexist perfectly in the mind and life of a man. And here, believe me, we are not talking about competition. Love is love, and the desire to experience an orgasm is a separate issue. Why does a man masturbate? Everything is simple - for the sake of orgasm.
3. A girl who finds herself in such a situation not for the first time should honestly answer the questions, how long ago did you have sex, is it varied, has it lost its sharpness.
It is also not superfluous to look from the outside at your life together: is it overgrown with routine and boredom. Why does a man masturbate? Because your sex life has become boring, monotonous and uninteresting.
Be sure to talk to your loved one about his expectations and dreams, doubts and claims. Be ready to hear criticism and remember that talking personal with your partner is a sign of respect and trust. And together you can make intimate - and not only - life richer and brighter.
Recorded by Olga Cherednichenko
Photo: GETTY IMAGES/FOTOBANK.RU
Sexual self-satisfaction: why do people masturbate?
Many of us have experienced this at least once in marriage or just in a permanent relationship: they secretly or openly caught their partner or partner masturbating. The first reaction was shock, then a feeling of guilt appeared, degenerating into a feeling of inferiority. Questions haunted: why does this happen at all, if everything is fine in the intimate sphere? or abnormal? or I just do not suit my spouse (wife) with something?
According to the Swiss psychologist Koni Rone, one should not blame oneself here.
Self-satisfaction in a partnership is a common thing, and no one is to blame. Quite often it even happens that a conversation on this topic enlivens the sexual life of both partners. There are even couples who intentionally make masturbation part of their sexual relationship. Moreover, often masturbation, for various reasons, including physiological ones, serves as a substitute for a full-fledged intercourse.
There has been a joke for a long time: 98% of people masturbate, and the remaining 2% just keep silent about it. According to a survey conducted by American researchers in 2009 among people aged 18 to 60, 38% of women and 61% of men admitted to having masturbated in the past year. And according to a survey by the University of Bonn (1998), 86% of women and 90% of men masturbate.
So, it seems that self-gratification is one of the expressions of human sexuality, as well as sexual relations with a partner or partner. And yet, for the majority, masturbation remains a taboo topic, causing feelings of guilt and shame.
This is probably due to the fact that as early as 19In the 19th century, self-satisfaction was considered not only a sin, but also the cause of the development of the spinal cord and other serious diseases. In an attempt to wean their children from masturbation, parents chained them to the bed or put iron spiked gloves on them.
But twenty years ago, the American Medical Association declared masturbation “normal,” and in 2006, 87% of 16-year-old girls surveyed in Germany said they viewed masturbation as an equivalent substitute for classic intercourse, no matter how often partners have sex. .
But how do you know who is right and who is wrong? And can masturbation even have its positive aspects? According to some experts, masturbation stimulates the production of the hormone dopamine, which has a relaxing effect on the entire body. According to Australian experts, masturbation significantly reduces the risk of prostate cancer. As for women, for them self-satisfaction can be a good kind of technique to achieve orgasm, because about a third of the female population fails to experience it in close proximity with a partner.
Masturbating together or masturbating with each other can intensify the sexual life in a marriage, because the contemplation of the pleasure experienced by another can sometimes be very exciting. At the same time, a person has the opportunity to get to know his sexuality and his body better and to understand more what brings him sensual pleasure. As you know, women who engaged in masturbation in childhood or adolescence, being mature, achieve orgasm more easily.
True, despite the above advantages, masturbation also carries a danger, namely, the danger of dependence on self-satisfaction. "Sit down" on easily achievable physical pleasures, people turn into uniform masturbators who need more and more masturbation and who use masturbation for general emotional and mental stabilization (to avoid depression, forget about problems, mentally distract from conflict moments).
Another danger is that with this form of sexuality there may be no need to communicate with a real partner.
