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Domestic violence triggers


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Navigating domestic violence isn’t easy and can lead to lasting mental health effects, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

A home is your safe haven in a world that’s sometimes chaotic and stressful. But when there’s violence where you live, it can be a continuous source of stress and undermine your psychological stability.

Whether you’re an adult experiencing intimate partner violence, or a child living with domestic abuse from an adult, you can develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

PTSD was formerly associated only with war veterans, but anyone can develop this condition.

Any traumatic event involving a threat to your safety — such as a car accident or natural disaster — can lead to PTSD. Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will develop PTSD.

An estimated 70% of adults in the United States will experience a traumatic event at least once in their lifetime, but only about 20% of them will develop PTSD.

Domestic violence can activate the fight, flight, or freeze response, which can lead to PTSD.

Traumatic events such as accidents have an end point after which you can work on recovery. Other types of traumas such as domestic violence are long-term (chronic), meaning they continue or repeat indefinitely.

This type of ongoing trauma can lead to complex PTSD (C-PTSD).

In need of help right now?

Triggers are trauma reminders or prompts that activate your sympathetic nervous system response. They usually connect to your trauma in some way such as a location where domestic violence occurred.

When you witness a trigger, you may experience a physical reaction such as a startle response or elevated heart rate. A trauma trigger can cause an elevated reaction but the same sensory experience might not affect someone without PTSD.

Domestic violence triggers can include anything that reminds your brain of the person involved in your trauma:

  • Sounds: breaking glass, slamming doors, or yelling
  • Smells: cigarette smoke, coffee, or cologne
  • Sights: the person’s style of clothing, hairstyle, or type of vehicle they drive

Triggers can be less direct, too. For example, you might see someone walking a dog. This might remind you of a conversation about dogs that you had with the person involved in the domestic violence you’ve experienced.

Long-term trauma can have lasting effects on the way your brain works. It can even change the shape of your brain.

According to a 2018 study, people living with PTSD may have smaller hippocampi. The hippocampus plays an important role in learning and memory.

Trauma can also change how you interact with your surroundings and other people. Your sympathetic nervous system remains activated, and you live in a state of hypervigilance against possible danger.

The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs lists the following as symptoms of C-PTSD:

  • behavioral changes such as aggression and impulsivity
  • emotional issues such as rage or depression
  • cognitive signs such as changes in identity
  • relationship difficulties
  • physical symptoms with no apparent medical cause

You may also experience symptoms such as:

  • difficulty sleeping
  • distractibility
  • shame or guilt
  • nightmares
  • trust issues
  • avoidance tendencies
  • flashbacks
  • dissociation
  • startling easily
  • moodiness
  • negativity

Relationship-based trauma such as domestic violence can change the way you interact with people. For example, you might find it harder to trust others.

Some people who’ve experienced domestic abuse feel like they don’t deserve a trauma-free relationship. They may repeatedly find themselves in dysfunctional relationships because they’re familiar.

A 2016 study found that children with a history of physical and sexual abuse were more likely to experience victimization by their peers once they reached adolescence.

Psychotherapy is an effective treatment approach for many people living with PTSD and C-PTSD. Options include:

  • cognitive processing therapy
  • prolonged exposure therapy
  • cognitive behavioral therapy
  • eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)
  • internal family systems (IFS)
  • cognitive restructuring

Self-care strategies can also reduce the impact of trauma. Even if you feel too overwhelmed to make many changes at once, small lifestyle improvements can still make a difference:

  • nutrition
  • exercise
  • sleep
  • stress reduction
  • supportive social contact

PTSD from domestic violence can make it hard to think objectively. An important part of coping is to understand that the situation isn’t your fault.

Finding someone you trust to talk with can help. An option to consider is an online support group where you can connect with others who share your experience.

Domestic violence can cause PTSD and C-PTSD and can have a lasting impact. It can affect the way you interact with the world, and even change the shape of your brain. You may also experience reactions such as flashbacks in response to triggers.

Therapy can help, as well as self-care strategies.

It can be difficult to reach out for help while domestic violence is ongoing. You might worry about making the situation worse.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline has confidential support available online, by telephone at 800-799-SAFE (7233), text at 88788 (text the word “start”), and TTY at 1-800-787-3224.

Psych Central has a PTSD resource hub and mental health support page that you might find helpful.

If you or someone in your life needs urgent support, consider reaching out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is available 24/7:

  • Online Lifeline Chat
  • English: 800-273-8255 (or 800-TALK)
  • Text: 838255
  • Spanish: 888-628-9454

Understanding Trauma Triggers and Trigger Responses Caused by Domestic Violence

Domestic violence causes physical, mental, and emotional stress. If it’s severe enough, this stress can cause your body and mind to change.

Your physical health and emotional outlook may suffer. Your brain might even change the way it processes information. These changes are meant to protect you from further violence, but they can also trigger responses that, while understandable, may seem out of proportion to the situation.

Below, you’ll learn how trauma creates trauma triggers and what you can do to understand your trigger responses.

Domestic Violence and Its Effects

Domestic violence is intended to gain power or control over someone else in a domestic relationship. It can happen in family, dating, or even roommate relationships.

A domestic abuser gains control through fear. Viewed this way, trauma triggers and trigger responses are the goals of domestic violence — the fear of violence conditions you to respond in certain ways.

A domestic partner yells at you or punches the wall to trigger a response. Unfortunately, these triggers and their responses don’t go away when the relationship ends. They can persist for years or even the rest of your life.

Domestic violence incidents usually fall into one of a few categories:

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse includes unwanted and harmful contact. It includes throwing objects, slapping your phone out of your hand, and threats of violence.

Even if you never suffer an injury, you can still experience physical abuse. 

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse encompasses all forms of unwanted sexual contact. It also implies sexual harassment, extortion, or other forms of leverage gained through sex.

Mental Abuse

Mental abuse includes behaviors intended to lower your self-esteem and cause you to doubt yourself. This form of abuse is characterized by insults, gaslighting, and other mind games.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abusers try to make you emotionally dependent on them or the relationship. Some common tactics include isolating you from friends and family or threatening suicide if you end the relationship.

Financial Abuse

Financial abusers use financial leverage for control. They might steal from you, put you on an allowance, or forbid you from working.

How Stress from Domestic Violence Can Affect Victims

All stress, whether it comes from your job, concern for a loved one, or domestic violence, impacts your physical, emotional, and mental health.

Stress causes your brain to prepare your body to respond to danger. 

In response to stress, your body will:

  • Release hormones to speed up your heart rate and make you more alert
  • Cause your body to rapidly process anything in your digestive system
  • Constrict your blood vessels to increase your blood pressure
  • Dilate your pupils so you can better track movement

When repeated over and over, these responses can take a toll on your body and mind. 

Chronic stress can cause:

  • Heart disease
  • High blood pressure
  • Headaches
  • Muscle pain
  • Stomach ulcers
  • Sleep disorders

Chronic stress can also change your mental and emotional well-being, leading to:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Emotional outbursts
  • Restlessness
  • Anger

You might develop problematic behaviors to cope with stress, including changes in eating habits, drug or alcohol use, or withdrawal from friends and family. Stress from an identifiable traumatic event, like domestic violence, can even result in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

PTSD and Trauma Triggers

PTSD is an anxiety disorder. It begins with a traumatic event like a car accident, combat, or domestic violence. In response to this traumatic event, the brain looks for ways to protect you from a recurrence of the event.

For example, after a car accident, your brain might try to protect you from another accident by triggering a stress response when you drive near the accident scene. This stress heightens your senses so that you’re on guard against other cars. But as a side effect, the stress can overwhelm you, causing flashbacks, panic attacks, or other detrimental responses.

In priming itself to protect you, your brain will search for any sign it can use as an early warning of impending danger. This explains why veterans injured by roadside bombs during active duty can be triggered by the sight of a plastic bag on the roadside.

As a victim of domestic violence, your brain will identify triggers associated with your abuser or the circumstances of your abuse. 

These triggers will often be highly personalized and might include:

  • Sounds that preceded an attack
  • Smells you associate with your abuser
  • Locations where you were abused

These triggers frequently sit in your subconscious until some stressful stimulus prompts them to emerge.

Trigger Responses

Identifying signs of danger is only the first step your brain takes to protect you. It must then decide how to respond to the perceived danger. These so-called trigger responses will also be unique to your circumstances and your personality.

The most well-known conditioned response is the “fight-or-flight” response. When faced with danger, animals will either attempt to fight the source of the danger or flee from it. Some animals also have a third response called “freeze,” where they become motionless, hoping that the threat will pass them by.

In the same way, your brain responds to trauma triggers by sending your body into a fight, flight, or freeze mode. Some common “fight” responses include lashing out physically or having angry outbursts. “Flight” responses include running away or urinating involuntarily, while a “freeze” response might cause you to pass out.

Getting Help for Trauma Triggers and Trigger Responses

Without help, trauma triggers and trigger responses can take a toll on your life. 

You might try to address your trauma by:

  • Withdrawing
  • Creating elaborate systems to avoid triggers
  • Using drugs or alcohol to suppress your responses and distract yourself from your trauma
  • Contemplating suicide

Attempting to avoid triggers can also lead to paranoia or even mental illness.

No one can prescribe the right course of action for overcoming the PTSD associated with domestic violence, as every person embodies a mixture of unique experiences. That said, many people have responded well to therapy, counseling, medication, support groups, and self-help books and videos.

You may need to experiment to find the right formula to address your trauma. But when you do, you can expect your physical, mental, and emotional health to improve.

"You need to work on the source of the problem." Can domestic violence be prevented?

  • Ksenia Batanova
  • BBC

Image copyright EyeEm

"I got out of prison in 2018. I did two years for drugs and had a fight with a friend that ended up being slapped by me. It only happened once in a five year relationship. But I figured it out that since I could do it once, I can do it again," 26-year-old Englishman Thomas Smith* tells the BBC Russian Service.

Thomas is a member of the British Department of Justice's Behavioral Change Programme. This and other programs work with the cause, that is, the author of domestic violence, and not with its consequences, that is, the victim. But is it possible to correct the behavior of the aggressor?

The BBC Russian service studied the experience of Great Britain and Russia.

After being released from prison for beating his girlfriend for six months, Thomas Smith visited a group every Tuesday from 6 to 9 pm where behavioral specialists worked with him and other men. If he refused or stopped attending classes, he could be sent back to prison.

"Actually, I liked it there almost from the first session. I learned a lot about myself - about anger, about triggers, about how not to drive yourself into dark thoughts even deeper," says Thomas.

He justifies himself by saying that if it weren't for the drugs, he would hardly have hit his girlfriend. After his release, he stopped drinking: “I don’t even drink alcohol. I’ve been a driver for the NHS [National Health Service] for almost two years. It’s the first time in my life that I have worked for such a long time. Before that, I made a living by petty theft.”

Now he lives alone, but he sees his three daughters on weekends. “The oldest is seven, the middle is four, the youngest is a year old. The middle and youngest are the children of the woman I hit. The youngest appeared after I got out of prison. We didn’t see each other for a long time, that’s what happened,” Thomas shares.

What the numbers say

In the UK, during the first spring lockdown, the police recorded almost 260,000 cases of domestic violence - 7% more than during the same period last year. In the early weeks, according to a joint study between the BBC's Panorama and Women's Aid, police received messages from victims almost every 30 seconds. Even before the pandemic, the statistics were alarming - every week in the UK, two women died at the hands of their former or current partner.

"There are 2 million cases of domestic violence in the country every year. As you can imagine, each of these cases has an author. Quite a lot of rapists, aren't they? And they can belong to any social class," says Veronica Oakeshott, Project Manager to work with domestic abusers Drive. Veronica and her team work with people who could potentially kill or seriously injure their partners or children.

  • Kyrgyzstan adopted a tough law against domestic violence, but did not solve the problem

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Information about these men was broadcast in Drive by the British organization MARAC. This service operates throughout the UK and is tasked with holding regular meetings at the local level with the police, child protection services, independent domestic violence counselors and other services. At the meetings, they exchange information about homes where domestic violence may occur or where it has already occurred.

Drive specialists received information and, together with other services, began to work with the abuser and the victim. The know-how of the Drive project was the systematic support of the victim and the rapist by specialists.

"The rapist has his own manager, a specialist of the highest class. Another consultant is constantly in touch with the victim. They communicate with each other. If the rapist says that he has reformed, and the victim tells his consultant that he did not let her out of the house, we we can involve the police or social services," says Veronica.

Photo copyright, Veronica Oakeshott

Image caption,

Veronica Oakeshott works with people who are prone to domestic violence

65% of the men Drive works with have at least one additional problem besides violent behavior: addiction to alcohol or drugs , lack of work or poor living conditions. "It doesn't justify them in any way," says Veronika. "But solving these problems can affect the behavior of the abuser."

Janey Starling, Campaign Manager for the feminist organization Level Up, is more pessimistic: "Each of us has the ability to hurt another. And each of us chooses to do it or not. I'm not sure that all the men who go to the programs without fail, they are determined to change themselves. Of course, they will come to programs so as not to go to jail or to be able to see their children. But will they change their behavior? Of course, you need to work with them, but the most important thing is help women."

Thomas Smith believes that men should be able to attend such programs. "The abuser needs to admit that his behavior is only his fault. But he also needs help," he says.

Researchers say programs to change domestic abusers do reduce violence rates. At the same time, the methods and availability of programs differ in different parts of Britain.

"The country does not have a single national strategy on how to work to prevent domestic violence by changing the behavior of the aggressor," says Veronica Oakeshott.

In January 2020, Drive and 70 other organizations asked the government to develop and fund a unified strategy for programs to correct the behavior of abusers. In her opinion, the effectiveness of such programs is obvious, and working with rapists reduces the number of cases of domestic violence.

"This is not psychotherapy"

Respect works with domestic abusers in England and Wales. It has been in existence since 2001, and the 40-page set of rules by which it operates begins: "We keep the victim of domestic violence safe by working with the cause, which is the abuser." "Behavior change programs are not psychotherapy for men. Our main client is their victims. Everything we do with him, we do for her," says Keira Bergman, who works with Respect.

"They come voluntarily, but it would be cunning to say that men do it voluntarily with the words "I have been thinking about my terrible behavior for a long time and I want to change." police - quarrels with their partners and after threatening their wives or girlfriends that they will leave if he doesn't change," she explains.

Both Keira and Veronika say "men" when talking about rapists and "women" when talking about victims. Of course, there are also reverse cases, but the statistics are relentless - the vast majority of cases of domestic violence are committed by men.

Carl Hall, Assistant Rehabilitation Officer from KSS CRC, who works with men already convicted of domestic violence, agrees with colleagues. He says that there are women among the abusers, but, as a rule, their aggression is a reaction to the violence from the man that happened before.

  • A Swedish woman kept her adult son out of the house for 30 years. Police are investigating how it happened

All British experts interviewed by the BBC mentioned the main guarantee that a program to change the behavior of a rapist will work - you need to be in touch with his victim.

"If you are not in contact with the victim from the very moment you start working with her abuser, you can make her life worse," warns Keira Bergman.

She reminds us that domestic aggressors are big manipulators and can be expected to do anything. “For example, a wife or girlfriend agreed not to leave if the partner goes to a behavior change program. But nothing prevents him from signing up and just stopping walking, and at home saying that he still attends classes,” Bergman gives an example.

"During class, they may yell, swear, threaten to beat their partner or children when they get home. If we hear such threats, we report them to the police," says Hall.

Abuser behavior is dealt with in group and individual sessions that last from a few weeks to a year.

As a rule, there are two trainers in a group - a man and a woman. This collaboration helps demonstrate to program participants what healthy relationships between people of different sexes look like.

What's happening in Russia

There are no official statistics on cases of domestic violence in Russia, but non-governmental organizations that provide assistance to victims say that requests for help have increased by 10-20% since the start of the pandemic. Precise data are not available due to the fact that the term "domestic violence" does not exist in Russian legislation.

There is data from the Ministry of Internal Affairs, according to which, in January-September 2019, about 15,000 crimes were committed against women in the sphere of family and domestic relations in Russia. There is also Rosstat data, which indicates that in 2019In 2008, in Russia, one of the members of their families committed more than 23,000 crimes against women.

  • Home is a dangerous place. Russian human rights activists talk about the growth of domestic violence in quarantine

"I started dealing with this topic when I tried to hit my child myself. The child became scared, I will never forget his eyes, and I felt ashamed. I thought that I was not the right person who would like to beat his children," says one of the Russian activists, who asked not to be named. After the episode she is talking about, the woman began to help people who feel they cannot cope with their aggression.

There are separate organizations in Russia that deal with abusers and develop programs to change the behavior of domestic abusers. But, as a rule, these are private initiatives; there is no unified state strategy to prevent domestic violence.

Crisis center "Ekaterina" in the Sverdlovsk region since 1998 helps women and children who have suffered from domestic violence. Two years ago, Olga Selkova, deputy director of the center, developed a program for men who were convicted of domestic violence and are either in prison or on probation.

"I collected information bit by bit, basically the program is based on the Duluth model. We start by helping them learn their emotions, explain what and why they are angry,” says Olga.

The program is carried out jointly with the main department of the Federal Penitentiary Service for the Sverdlovsk Region. Olga Selkova says that so far there are no analogues of this program in the country. In two years, 39men.

"We had a group of killers. They are really dangerous men. Most of them were beaten by their parents all the time in childhood. They are poorly educated, they have huge gaps in knowledge. They do not understand what emotional intelligence is. They don’t even have such words know," Selkova says.

There is no data on how much domestic violence costs the Russian budget. Alena Popova, one of the authors and supporters of the law on domestic violence, which has not yet been adopted in Russia, is sure that if you calculate the economic component of such crimes, then it simply rolls over.

"It is more economically beneficial for all citizens to prevent a rapist from reaching the red line. Temporary or permanent disability, a woman's inability to support herself and children, falling into poverty - it is much cheaper for taxpayers to stop the aggressor," Popova is convinced.

  • Locked together. How victims of domestic violence live in quarantine

The police statistics of the English county of Kent mention an abuser who during his life committed violence in one form or another against 230 women.

"Rehabilitation and assistance to these victims is much more expensive than changing the behavior of one man. You need to work with the source of the problem, not with its consequences," Carl Hall agrees.

According to the results of 2016-2017, domestic violence cost the British budget more than 66 billion pounds a year. The bulk of this money went to the psychological and physical recovery of the victims and to compensate for the loss of women's jobs.

"Women who are victims of domestic violence pay double the price. First they are beaten, and then they have to look for new housing, move to another city, change or even lose their jobs, transfer their children to another kindergarten or school, and all this It's costing them dearly, including financially. It's time to change the question "Why didn't she leave?" to "Why didn't he stop?" Veronica Oakeshott is convinced.0011

* hero's name changed at his request

Isolation, stress and hurtful jokes. Psychologist - about the triggers of domestic violence | SOCIETY

Taisiya Merchanskaya

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

1124

isabellaquintana / pixabay. com

On November 25, 1960, on the orders of the Dominican dictator Truxtillo, the three Mirabal sisters, political activists who opposed his arbitrariness, were brutally murdered. At 19In 1999, in their honor, the UN General Assembly declared November 25 the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.

AiF-Belgorod talked with clinical psychologist Veronika Malova about how isolation can aggravate domestic violence and whether it is possible to try to correct the abuser.

A rapist gets drunk with impunity

Taisiya Merchanskaya, AiF-Belgorod: Veronika, the world has been living at home for more than six months. Many people work from home, have reduced meetings with friends and relatives. Could lockdown exacerbate domestic violence?

Veronika Malova: With the spread of the coronavirus, many went into self-isolation, telecommuting, they were just at home more than usual. This has already led to an increase in domestic violence. The conditions that provoke the emergence of crises at this time are a limited space in which the whole family is forced to stay around the clock, unclear financial and social prospects, a decrease in income, and a sense of anxiety.

- What drives a rapist? What motives usually lead one partner to raise a hand against the other?

- The tyrant will wait for certain circumstances. A tidbit is the helplessness of the victim, when the partner has nowhere and no one to go to, when he is financially and morally completely dependent on the abuser. He gets drunk with impunity. Strong stress or the suggestion that a partner is betraying or cheating can also trigger abusive behavior. Threats against the tyrant, jokes that may seem offensive to him are another “start button”.

- Physical abuse usually begins with psychological abuse. What alarm bells will tell you that the relationship is developing in the direction of violence? Is it possible to correct the situation at this stage?

- Yes, a rapist won't start hitting his partner on the first date. But upon close examination, a potential tyrant can be recognized. Abusers do not recognize other people's borders, so the encroachment on the freedom of another is a very important sign. Unsolicited advice, control, jealousy, wanting to know everything about a partner, imposing one's opinion, trying to set rigid rules - this is not a concern, this is an invasion. Also, alarm bells are the depreciation of a partner and other people, impulsiveness, maximalism in judgments, exactingness, attempts to blame a wife or husband for everything. It is impossible to fix anything in another without his request. Therefore, the only way not to find yourself in a sad situation is to leave without a return, for good.

“I learned how to cover up bruises.” Candid story of a victim of domestic violence More

Leave and never return

- Many victims of abuse think that a partner can change his mind. Is it so? Will a psychologist or psychiatrist help here?

- Rapists don't change! This phrase can be carved on a marble slab. As for the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist, the abuser usually does not ask for it. He is doing well, and he is right about everything. If he is dragged to a specialist, then he will most likely try to win him over to his side, once again proving to the victim that she herself is to blame for everything and torments and provokes him, white and fluffy.

- How can a psychologist help a person who is in an abusive relationship? What psychological problems can such a life lead to?

- Psychologists work with victims of domestic violence and the whole range of problems that a person who has gone through this horror may have. And a lot of problems can arise: depression, neurosis, high levels of anxiety, suicidal behavior, phobias, low self-esteem, psychosomatic illnesses, sleep and eating disorders, sexual problems.

- What should you do if you realize that you are on the weak side in a relationship and that physical or psychological abuse is being used against you?

- Leave! Break all ties! Don't come back! There are no other options. Leave by any means. With a favorable outcome, it is better to turn to a psychologist for professional help. If you have become a victim of domestic violence and do not know what to do, then there are centers for helping women who find themselves in a difficult life situation. In case of a threat to life or health, you must immediately leave the house. In this case, you need to keep documents with you, have a supply of money, write down the phone numbers by which you can ask for help, agree in advance with relatives and friends that you can come to spend the night with them.

Belgorodpsychologist's advicedomestic violence

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