What does dwelling on the past mean

dwell on the past or dwell in the past?

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A complete search of the internet has found these results:

dwell on the past is the most popular phrase on the web.

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dwell on the past

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Idiom Definitions for 'Dwell on the past'. Thinking too much about the past, so that it becomes a problem is to dwell on the past. Category: Time; View examples ...
“Don't dwell on the past”. Synonyms: harp. Type of: ingeminate, iterate, reiterate, repeat, restate, retell. to say, state, or perform again. Word Family.
5. dwell - come back to; "Don't dwell on the past"; "She is always harping on the same old ... continue to think about, tarry over I'd rather not dwell on the past.
Dwell on the Past. Community Rating: 0.5 1.0 1.5 2.0 2.5 3.0 3.5 4.0 4.5 5.0. Community Rating: 3.183 / 5 (30 votes). Click here to view ratings and comments.

dwell in the past

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Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha. Biography. Author Profession: Leader. Born: 563 BC.
Prev; 1; 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · Next · Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha · Life, Future, Dream ...
Oct 24, 2012 ... Retrieved on September 5, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/ 2012/10/25/why-do-we-dwell-in-the-past/. « 5 Ways to Break ...
Dec 18, 2009 ... The first two clauses (“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future”) , although poetic, are accurate, but the third (“concentrate the mind ...

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If You Dwell in the Past, You’ll Get Left Behind | by Christopher D. Connors | Mission.org

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” — Buddha

The key to a productive, mindful life is to keep moving forward and leave past problems behind. So many of the issues and uncertainties we encounter in life are because we dwell in the past on trivial, insignificant things — things that never help us in the present moment. And that’s all that matters. Right now, this week, living this moment with all you got.

We’re emotional people by nature, so it’s not surprising we often let our emotions “get the better” of us. This manifests itself in two ways: we long for the positive experiences or we painfully hang on to the negative ones.

Positive Experiences:

Falling in love
Childhood memories of family, school and activities
Accomplishments

Negative Experiences:

Failing at a job, school or entrepreneurial venture
Break-up with a boyfriend or girlfriend
Loss of life of someone close to us

On the positive side, I think of maturing into a man and needing to leave past glories behind. High school. College. Grad school. These were great times that I didn’t want to end. But it was essential to move on and live in the present moment!

What do those positive moments look like for you? They could be major accomplishments at work that earned you bonuses and recognition. Perhaps it was the presence of a mentor or special friend who genuinely loved and cared for you. But has since moved on.

These experiences have a huge impact on our lives. They are memories written on our souls and forever in our hearts.

Just know this, once you’ve locked in those moments forever — the longer you dwell in the past, the more you lose in the present. Time, progress, meeting new friends, developing relationships and pursuing opportunities. In the abstract, it may not seem like a big deal. But time, as Steve Jobs famously said, is our most precious commodity. We have to move on. Because time stops for no one.

On the negative side, we have the nicks, scrapes and bruises that wounded us and knocked us down. Past defeats, failures or mistakes. Like getting fired from a job. A break-up with a past boyfriend. That embarrassing miscue at a social outing a few years ago that you can’t seem to let go. Keep moving forward, keep going toward what’s next.

“That’s what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it, and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way is winning.” — Richard Bach

Adversity is the greatest teacher we have in life! Losing, in so many ways, is winning. We have to absorb the shock, make sense of it, derive value from it, then turn our attention to what’s happening now. It’s one thing to learn from our experiences. It’s a totally different story when we let what’s negative dominate our conscious and subconscious minds — haunting us. Controlling us. Limiting our future.

Dwelling in the past has a way of making us anxious. Anxiety leads to a sort of mental paralysis where we find ourselves stuck. We start to fear and doubt outcomes. We’re vulnerable in the worst way possible — not wanting to face the day ahead. I’ve been there, done that. Maybe you know the feeling, maybe you have too.

Anxiety is a battle for so many people. Within anxiety, we find these themes of emotional attachment, change and how we choose to focus our attention. While not the panacea, moving forward and refusing to be held down by the past is a great way to fight your way out of anxiety. The next best way is to explore mental health options that could make a world of difference.

Chad Grills recently wrote a piece about the life story of Charlie Munger, the partner of Warren Buffett at Berkshire Hathaway. It was an incredibly inspiring story of a man who refused to let devastating setbacks weigh him down. He kept moving forward in his personal and professional life despite tremendous adversity.

What’s next for you? What’s waiting for you? Chances are, something well worth your time. Life is one big series of “Next’s. ” You’re best to embrace opportunity with an open mind and willing heart. With a clear, objective mind, we might think, “Why would we ever want to stew and dwell in the past on negative things?”

In every way it seems illogical and foolish. But think about it — how often do you do this? I know I get wrapped up in emotions that can take me away — if I let them. On the positive side, while it’s great to look back and reminisce, make sure you don’t stay there too long. There’s a whole new world out there for you to conquer.

May you find the life you truly desire for yourself. And even when you’re experiencing life’s best moments, know that time always marches on. Don’t dwell too long in the past. You’re meant for bigger things.

If you enjoyed reading this post, please share and recommend it so others can find it!

Want more great content like this? Find my absolute best, plus a free offer by subscribing for awesome updates on my Newsletter! Like my Facebook writer’s page here. If you enjoyed reading this piece, please be so kind as to share and recommend to others. Also, please consider following me here on Medium! Live Boldly!

How to stop thinking about the past

“He who controls the past controls the future,” says the famous anti-utopia. This is true not only of political regimes, but also of the destinies of individuals. How you perceive your past is reflected in the present and, as a result, in the choice of the path you follow.

Often people cannot cope with sad thoughts about the humiliation and insults that they happened to endure years ago. If they can't harness those memories, they won't be able to move on.

Here are some ways to control thoughts of past troubles.

1. Become a fatalist about the past

Obsessed with past mistakes, people often blame themselves for not being astute or strong enough to change jobs, move to another city, or break up obsolete relationships. As a result, they missed a lot of opportunities that fate offered them, and wasted years.

It will be possible to get rid of such self-accusations by changing the attitude towards one's role in past failures. Understand that your behavior was the result of a unique combination of circumstances, your ideas about the world and the character traits that you possessed at that time.

It's easier to think that you couldn't change anything then, because now the past really can't be corrected. You will see that you were not the master of the situation, but to some extent its hostage: everything happened as it should have happened. Start thinking about the past in this way and sooner or later you will feel relieved.

2. Understand that the past is a teacher

Any situation, no matter how badly it ends and no matter how detrimental it may be to your life, should be a lesson for you. Having parted with a loved one due to a wrong decision, you have learned to appreciate those who are dear to you, and perhaps this is what will help you avoid a new mistake in the future. After spending a few years indulging your habits, you have established exactly what you need to get rid of in yourself.

Even if you lose a leg or an arm in a stupid accident, you have gained some experience. And do not rush to say that it is useless. Who knows, if not for this accident, perhaps your willingness to take risks could cost you not just your health, but your life.

The past is given to teach us not to repeat past mistakes and not to commit those that are truly fatal.

3. Correct what can be corrected

The past exists only in its consequences. If you manage to eliminate most of them, you can forget that you ever did things that you regret.

Have you lost a few years of your life that you could have spent on professional development? Get more done in the years that are allotted to you! Most of the omissions made earlier can be compensated by new achievements.

If you see that, despite all the difficulties, you managed to get out of the hole in which you found yourself, the burden of the past will no longer pull you back.

How to Stop Living in the Past: 4 Easy Steps

Nostalgia itself can be a pleasant feeling that helps you get through difficulties in the present moment. For example, a relationship with a partner can reach a dead end, but warming thoughts about your common pleasant experiences and travels help to wait out a tense moment without taking drastic steps. Or a routine period has come in work, but the memory of important past achievements helps to concentrate on the future. When there is no opportunity to travel, photos of past trips motivate you to wait for the next vacation. Relationships with friends can be like a roller coaster, but during flare-ups, common evenings and follies that we experience only with truly loved ones easily come to mind.

On the other hand, there is the problem of the "golden age syndrome" - if you remember Woody Allen's "Midnight in Paris". This is not necessarily a deification of the distant 60s or 20s: in ordinary life, the "golden age syndrome" can manifest itself in the fact that a happy time shrouded in a sweet fog - often youth, early youth, college days, first stormy novels - seems unique, unattainable, priceless and impossible in the present time. “I won’t fall in love the way I did when I was 16”, “Over the years, it’s getting harder to find real friends”, “There is nothing nicer than a child in early childhood - now it’s not the same at all.” By concentrating on some ideal moment in the past, we often take away the chances of the present: new acquaintances always lose out compared to “those” best friends, our youth gives way to maturity, and new adventurous antics do not give the feeling of “those” adventures.

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Nostalgia can very often be the enemy of the present moment: we are so caught up in idealizing the past that we don't notice the opportunities that arise right now. New contacts, new job offers, new stages of relationships with people we already know, new character traits in loved ones pass us by while we are busy daydreaming.

What to do. If you constantly indulge in pleasant thoughts about the past and you are not let go by something wonderful that happened a long time ago and, as you think, will not happen again, deal with your feelings. At what point, what people and experiences do you return to most often? Is it possible to organize something similar in the present? If a long-standing vacation with friends is still remembered with a warm smile, maybe you need to plan another common trip? If the romance in the relationship has evaporated, maybe it's time to discuss what you and your partner are missing and come up with a joint plan of action? If you miss the place and people, maybe it's time to return to them?

Or is it not about specific events at all, but about a set of habits and character traits that prevent one from accepting reality without idealizing the past? Maybe you should learn to forgive people when they are in a bad mood, treat yourself more calmly, be less offended by things that are difficult to change: from bad weather to the personal qualities of the environment. Of course, in the life of every person there are more successful and less successful periods, but if everything good happened to you only a very long time ago, this is an occasion to think about the chosen direction in life.

Each of us has a trail of long-established relationships, to which, due to their duration, an unconscious sense of duty is often developed. Studies, past jobs and romances, family friends and distant relatives stick to us with long-term ties that are not very easy to cut off, and perhaps not worth it. Sometimes it’s even hard to remember why we started this or that relationship, but it’s really important to answer ourselves why we continue this relationship.

The paradox of relationships is that some of them flourish despite changing circumstances (moves, age, different life situations), and some of them aggravate, despite coincidences. For example, being in the same work team does not automatically mean unanimity with colleagues, and the same age of children is no guarantee that their parents will have something to talk about. If regular meetings with the same people leave you exhausted, give up these meetings and move on. If these are close people with whom you need to maintain relationships, think about a format that suits you and does not offend them - for example, regular meetings, eventful, shared hobbies or interesting experiences: there have long been many easier analogues for bored forced feasts with uncomfortable conversations .

What to do. Carefully analyze relationships that take the most time. If these relationships are regularly frustrating and aimed at maintaining a long-established status quo, the terms need to be reviewed and in no case should the relationship be allowed to continue in an uncomfortable way. For example, parents help with the child if you spend time with them. The way out is to come up with such activities for everyone that will relieve stress as much as possible.

Check whether the people around you meet your current goals and objectives - whether it is interesting and good in their company, whether you feel a surge of energy after a meeting or rather spend energy. If you communicate because it happened, and now you don’t want to offend or bother anyone by refusing your time, think what are you afraid of? No one obliges us to communicate with college friends until old age or call back colleagues from the last job - these contacts should either fill us with strength and joy, or disappear in order to free up time for new acquaintances.

If only pleasant moments would remind us of the past! For many things that happened a long time ago, an adult can be embarrassed or even ashamed. Infantile decisions, hurtful quarrels, vainly spoken words, ill-conceived big deeds and really serious mistakes that influenced the course of life are in the anamnesis of almost everyone. The problem is to allow yourself to develop and move on, regardless of the choice already made.

Painful memories can be stopped in several ways, the most universal advice is to contact a psychotherapist with a list of worries. Do you regret the end of a relationship, the wrong choice of profession, painful failures in work? If all these failures are still throwing you into an icy sweat, this is a sign that it is time to act with outside help.

Another way to cope with the stresses of the past is to analyze the irreversibility of our actions. We really live in the myth that all our actions are final, while the final choice in most areas of life is not required of us. After an unhappy marriage, people can be happy in the next one. Many 40 and 50 year olds are changing and getting new education to change jobs and lifestyles. After many years in the office, you can switch to freelancing - and vice versa. You can change your place of residence and even get a passport of another country - of course, there are significant obstacles for this, but even this is not impossible with strong motivation.

We tend to consolidate and take root, which is why the changing world is easier to explain through a set of supposedly irreversible actions: born, married, made a career, had children. It is according to this logic that all failures and failures also become fatal, turning points. Maybe a big setback at work or an unhappy family signal some mistakes that have been made, but the truth is that most mistakes are never fatal—and we always have time to draw conclusions and do the right thing based on our experience.

What to do. It is better to analyze the painful experience and remember what it taught, even in writing: this way you will be able to fix the results. Lost friendships - what did you learn from this experience? Where did you go wrong? Where could you go wrong? Why did the relationship crack and at what point did it become clear that love could not be saved? Why did you choose one job and not another - what arguments did you have, what advantages did you call yourself when making a decision?

Even in the most acute and critical situations, people find useful lessons for themselves: from the experience of overcoming illness to bankruptcy. Past mistakes can be a guide to action in a new situation - what people and what activities not to choose, in what circumstances not to find yourself and who not to trust, you can learn from the negative experience that you already have.

Very often, past actions impose restrictions on us - say, we have a reputation in a certain circle and some specific behavior, habitual actions and reactions are expected from us. For example, the family is used to the fact that you are a little aloof from general issues and let others make decisions, so they do not waste time once again discussing any issues with you. Or vice versa, you decide everything individually and independently and are tired of this responsibility. Friends are waiting for you, as always, to write first, remind about yourself, come up with a common leisure time for you. Relatives are waiting for gifts and attention in a certain proportion. The partner expects you to continue to take on most of the load with the child. Colleagues expect that you will not take the initiative and they will complete the common work without your ideas, putting you before the fact.

Situations can be very different - the pattern is the same: having received a characteristic in a particular environment, you in many ways become a hostage to the past image, which may no longer suit you. For example, you came to work as an inexperienced person, and in a few years you have grown a lot, but others have not noticed this yet and continue to treat you down. Or taking care of a child requires other temporary resources and investments, but the agreements with the partner remain the same. Or the relationship began when you were one person, and in a few years you better understood your preferences and requirements. The past often follows us not in the form of events, but in the form of a learned behavior pattern: a hyper-responsible employee, a caring mother, an active wife, a helping daughter or a faithful friend. And each of these roles, chosen a long time ago, imposes a number of restrictions that do not suit us today.

What to do. In a good mood, spread out your responsibilities and daily activities that you do a) for your own peace of mind and b) so as not to disappoint others. Take a good look at column b) and understand how many of these fears are the current you, and how many are the person from the past that you were a few months / years ago. Talk frankly with loved ones about what you expect from them and they from you, whether they hear your requirements and wishes. Look at relationships and life choices as if you had just made them, and be creative about things that you don't like very much.

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