What does body language mean

Nonverbal Communication and Body Language

communication

Your facial expressions, gestures, posture, and tone of voice are powerful communication tools. Here’s how to read and use body language to build better relationships at home and work.

What is body language?

While the key to success in both personal and professional relationships lies in your ability to communicate well, it’s not the words that you use but your nonverbal cues or “body language” that speak the loudest. Body language is the use of physical behavior, expressions, and mannerisms to communicate nonverbally, often done instinctively rather than consciously.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, when you interact with others, you’re continuously giving and receiving wordless signals. All of your nonverbal behaviors—the gestures you make, your posture, your tone of voice, how much eye contact you make—send strong messages. They can put people at ease, build trust, and draw others towards you, or they can offend, confuse, and undermine what you’re trying to convey. These messages don’t stop when you stop speaking either. Even when you’re silent, you’re still communicating nonverbally.

In some instances, what comes out of your mouth and what you communicate through your body language may be two totally different things. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you’re being dishonest. If you say “yes” while shaking your head no, for example. When faced with such mixed signals, the listener has to choose whether to believe your verbal or nonverbal message. Since body language is a natural, unconscious language that broadcasts your true feelings and intentions, they’ll likely choose the nonverbal message.

[Read: Effective Communication]

However, by improving how you understand and use nonverbal communication, you can express what you really mean, connect better with others, and build stronger, more rewarding relationships.

The importance of nonverbal communication

Your nonverbal communication cues—the way you listen, look, move, and react—tell the person you're communicating with whether or not you care, if you're being truthful, and how well you're listening. When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you're saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they don't, they can generate tension, mistrust, and confusion.

If you want to become a better communicator, it's important to become more sensitive not only to the body language and nonverbal cues of others, but also to your own.

Nonverbal communication can play five roles:

Repetition: It repeats and often strengthens the message you're making verbally.
Contradiction: It can contradict the message you're trying to convey, thus indicating to your listener that you may not be telling the truth.
Substitution: It can substitute for a verbal message. For example, your facial expression often conveys a far more vivid message than words ever can.
Complementing: It may add to or complement your verbal message. As a boss, if you pat an employee on the back in addition to giving praise, it can increase the impact of your message.
Accenting: It may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for example, can underline the importance of your message.

Source: The Importance of Effective Communication, Edward G. Wertheim, Ph.D.

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Types of nonverbal communication

The many different types of nonverbal communication or body language include:

Facial expressions. The human face is extremely expressive, able to convey countless emotions without saying a word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across cultures.

Body movement and posture. Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand, or hold their head. The way you move and carry yourself communicates a wealth of information to the world. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and the subtle movements you make.

Gestures. Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. You may wave, point, beckon, or use your hands when arguing or speaking animatedly, often expressing yourself with gestures without thinking. However, the meaning of some gestures can be very different across cultures. While the “OK” sign made with the hand, for example, usually conveys a positive message in English-speaking countries, it's considered offensive in countries such as Germany, Russia, and Brazil. So, it's important to be careful of how you use gestures to avoid misinterpretation.

Eye contact. Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person's interest and response.

Touch. We communicate a great deal through touch. Think about the very different messages given by a weak handshake, a warm bear hug, a patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on the arm, for example.

Space. Have you ever felt uncomfortable during a conversation because the other person was standing too close and invading your space? We all have a need for physical space, although that need differs depending on the culture, the situation, and the closeness of the relationship. You can use physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, including signals of intimacy and affection, aggression or dominance.

Voice. It's not just what you say, it's how you say it. When you speak, other people “read” your voice in addition to listening to your words. Things they pay attention to include your timing and pace, how loud you speak, your tone and inflection, and sounds that convey understanding, such as “ahh” and “uh-huh.” Think about how your tone of voice can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection, or confidence.

Can nonverbal communication be faked?

There are many books and websites that offer advice on how to use body language to your advantage. For example, they may instruct you on how to sit a certain way, steeple your fingers, or shake hands in order to appear confident or assert dominance. But the truth is that such tricks aren't likely to work (unless you truly feel confident and in charge). That's because you can't control all of the signals you're constantly sending about what you're really thinking and feeling. And the harder you try, the more unnatural your signals are likely to come across.

However, that doesn't mean that you have no control over your nonverbal cues. For example, if you disagree with or dislike what someone's saying, you may use negative body language to rebuff the person's message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don't have to agree, or even like what's being said, but to communicate effectively and not put the other person on the defensive, you can make a conscious effort to avoid sending negative signals—by maintaining an open stance and truly attempting to understand what they're saying, and why.

How nonverbal communication can go wrong

What you communicate through your body language and nonverbal signals affects how others see you, how well they like and respect you, and whether or not they trust you. Unfortunately, many people send confusing or negative nonverbal signals without even knowing it. When this happens, both connection and trust in relationships are damaged, as the following examples highlight:

Jack believes he gets along great with his colleagues at work, but if you were to ask any of them, they would say that Jack is “intimidating” and “very intense.” Rather than just look at you, he seems to devour you with his eyes. And if he takes your hand, he lunges to get it and then squeezes so hard it hurts. Jack is a caring guy who secretly wishes he had more friends, but his nonverbal awkwardness keeps people at a distance and limits his ability to advance at work.

Arlene is attractive and has no problem meeting eligible men, but she has a difficult time maintaining a relationship for longer than a few months. Arlene is funny and interesting, but even though she constantly laughs and smiles, she radiates tension. Her shoulders and eyebrows are noticeably raised, her voice is shrill, and her body is stiff. Being around Arlene makes many people feel anxious and uncomfortable. Arlene has a lot going for her that is undercut by the discomfort she evokes in others.

Ted thought he had found the perfect match when he met Sharon, but Sharon wasn't so sure. Ted is good looking, hardworking, and a smooth talker, but seemed to care more about his thoughts than Sharon's. When Sharon had something to say, Ted was always ready with wild eyes and a rebuttal before she could finish her thought. This made Sharon feel ignored, and soon she started dating other men. Ted loses out at work for the same reason. His inability to listen to others makes him unpopular with many of the people he most admires.

These smart, well-intentioned people struggle in their attempt to connect with others. The sad thing is that they are unaware of the nonverbal messages they communicate.

[Read: Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship]

If you want to communicate effectively, avoid misunderstandings, and enjoy solid, trusting relationships both socially and professionally, it's important to understand how to use and interpret body language and improve your nonverbal communication skills.

How to improve nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is a rapidly flowing back-and-forth process that requires your full focus on the moment-to-moment experience. If you're planning what you're going to say next, checking your phone, or thinking about something else, you're almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and not fully understand the subtleties of what's being communicated. As well as being fully present, you can improve how you communicate nonverbally by learning to manage stress and developing your emotional awareness.

Learn to manage stress in the moment

Stress compromises your ability to communicate. When you're stressed out, you're more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. And remember: emotions are contagious. If you are upset, it is very likely to make others upset, thus making a bad situation worse.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by stress, take a time out. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into the conversation. Once you've regained your emotional equilibrium, you'll feel better equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.

The fastest and surest way to calm yourself and manage stress in the moment is to employ your senses—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement. By viewing a photo of your child or pet, smelling a favorite scent, listening to a certain piece of music, or squeezing a stress ball, for example, you can quickly relax and refocus. Since everyone responds differently, you may need to experiment to find the sensory experience that works best for you.

Develop your emotional awareness

In order to send accurate nonverbal cues, you need to be aware of your emotions and how they influence you. You also need to be able to recognize the emotions of others and the true feelings behind the cues they are sending. This is where emotional awareness comes in.

[Read: Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ)]

Being emotionally aware enables you to:

Accurately read other people, including the emotions they're feeling and the unspoken messages they're sending.
Create trust in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match up with your words.
Respond in ways that show others that you understand and care.

Many of us are disconnected from our emotions—especially strong emotions such as anger, sadness, fear—because we've been taught to try to shut off our feelings. But while you can deny or numb your feelings, you can't eliminate them. They're still there and they're still affecting your behavior. By developing your emotional awareness and connecting with even the unpleasant emotions, though, you'll gain greater control over how you think and act. To start developing your emotional awareness, practice the mindfulness meditation in HelpGuide's free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit.

How to read body language

Once you've developed your abilities to manage stress and recognize emotions, you'll start to become better at reading the nonverbal signals sent by others. It's also important to:

Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said. Is the person saying one thing, but their body language conveying something else? For example, are they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no?

Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don't read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language. Taken together, are their nonverbal cues consistent—or inconsistent—with what their words are saying?

Trust your instincts. Don't dismiss your gut feelings. If you get the sense that someone isn't being honest or that something isn't adding up, you may be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues.

Evaluating nonverbal signals

Eye contact – Is the person making eye contact? If so, is it overly intense or just right?

Facial expression – What is their face showing? Is it masklike and unexpressive, or emotionally present and filled with interest?

Tone of voice – Does the person's voice project warmth, confidence, and interest, or is it strained and blocked?

Posture and gesture – Is their body relaxed or stiff and immobile? Are their shoulders tense and raised, or relaxed?

Touch – Is there any physical contact? Is it appropriate to the situation? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?

Intensity – Does the person seem flat, cool, and disinterested, or over-the-top and melodramatic?

Timing and place – Is there an easy flow of information back and forth? Do nonverbal responses come too quickly or too slowly?

Sounds – Do you hear sounds that indicate interest, caring or concern from the person?

Do you struggle to clearly express how you're feeling inside?

Differences arise in any relationship, whether at home or at work. But there is a way out of seemingly unresolvable conflicts where everyone leaves with a sense of fulfillment and with their self-respect intact. This is the path of Nonviolent Communication from Sounds True.

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Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Greg Boose

About Nonverbal Communications – Different categories of nonverbal communication, along with a detailed list of signals. (Adam Blatner, M.D.)

Body Language: Understanding Nonverbal Communication – Particularly as it applies to the workplace. (MindTools)

Take Control of Your Nonverbal Communication (video) – How to notice and use body language. (Harvard Business Review)

The Importance of Nonverbal Communication (PDF) – Piece by Edward G. Wertheim, Ph.D. about the communication process. (Northeastern University)

Last updated: November 30, 2022

22 Body Language and Facial Expressions And What They Show: Find New Ways Of Communication

Communication Through Gestures and Facial Expressions

We use this body communication and expressions whenever we communicate face to face. We use nonverbal cues to speak to others through our facial expressions, body movements, posture, eye contact, hand gestures, tone and volume of voice, and micro-expressions that hold meaning for us as well as for our audience. It's a nonverbal vocabulary using expressions that emphasizes or alters the meaning of the direct vernacular we use. Learning to read body language, and learning to express ourselves through our own body language, can help improve communication.

Nonverbal communication is a two-way street. When you feel comfortable communicating with your own body, it’s possible to become skilled with the nonverbal signals that you’re sending to others. In fact, communicating through body language and other nonverbal signals might even be quite fun. As you work on your skills for communicating with nonverbal signals, you’ll naturally gain better skills on how to interpret body language that others portray, and that has its benefits as well. If you're working on your communication skills, a therapist can help you decide what you want to learn and how. Therapy can help you develop communication style and skills, in addition to offering support for other topics such as social anxiety or shyness.

The Types Of Body Language Communication

Using positive body language can help you get what you want if you know how to use it. It can land you a job, help you sell your house, win an argument, or start a relationship.

Negative body language, on the other hand, can keep you from getting the things you want. What's more, it can cause you to lose friends, miss out on opportunities at work, or offend people you want to impress.

Harness Body Language To Make A Great Impression

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How Reliable Is Communication Through Body Language?

Body language is not only powerful, it's usually reliable for revealing your true feelings, too. However, body language isn't completely reliable if the person expressing it knows how to manipulate it well. Consider the poker player who has perfected their body language to the point that the other players don't see their "tells. "

Some commonly asked questions about the topic are:

What are 5 examples of body language?
What are the 4 types of body language?
What is an example of negative body language?
What are some common body language signals?
What is good body language?
What are the 7 nonverbal communication?
What is disrespectful body language?
What body language lies?
What are the signs of poor body language?
How do you show positive body language?

Body language comes through most of the time whether you intend to reveal it or not. However, you need to be careful when assessing someone else's nonverbal communication cues. You may interpret body language one way, but the gesture may mean something entirely different to someone else. When reading body language cues, it is particularly important to know when there are cultural differences between people.

Body Language Examples

The following body language examples are common. It's usually easy to discern their meaning once you've learned them.

Body Language

Gestures:

Arms Crossed Across The Chest

Your arms and legs are perhaps one of the first types of nonverbal communication that people notice when they see you. You can use them for positive body language or negative body language.

Sitting or standing with your arms crossed across your chest is nearly always seen as defensive body language. Universally, when a person crosses their arms, they are viewed as insecure, annoyed, or closed off. When you do it, you're closed off and disengaged. You may appear angry or stubborn.

If you see someone with their arms and legs crossed for a long period of time, remember that it could indicate that the temperature where you are is too cold. It could also mean they're tired or simply supporting their shoulders in an armless chair.

Smile

Smiles can mean different things, depending on the exact facial expression. There are happy smiles, shy smiles, warm smiles, and ironic smiles. The Duchenne smile consists of pulling up the corners of your mouth while squeezing your eyes to make crow's feet. It's considered a genuine smile, as opposed to a fake smile where you just expose your teeth. Have you ever heard of the term, “smiling eyes?” Some people are really good at sending a smile through direct eye contact. When you display an authentic Duchenne smile, you let people know you're approachable and friendly.

Tapping Your Fingers

When you tap your fingers, you appear impatient and possibly nervous about waiting. If you’re a finger tapper, be aware that it’s one of those nonverbal signals that can grate on others’ nerves.

Tilting Your Head to One Side

When you tilt your head to the side, it usually means you're listening intently and deeply interested in finding out the information you're being told. It can also mean you're concentrating very hard.

Steepling Your Fingers

Holding your fingertips together and your palms apart let people know you have authority and control. Bosses and politicians use this gesture often to show they're in charge.

Crossing Your Legs

The way you cross your legs can tell others a lot about you and how you're feeling at any given moment. If you cross them at the ankle, it may show that you're trying to hide something. If you cross them at the knee but point your knees away from the other person, you show you're uncomfortable with them. In most cases, the best option is to plant your feet firmly on the floor.

A common term related to body language is the “figure four” position. To sit this way, stretch your arms and legs forward and then cross one ankle up over your knee, with your legs crossed high and your pelvic region open. With crossed legs in this position, your body makes the shape of the number four. The nonverbal communication message that the “figure four” pose represents is that you’re powerful and domineering. When your arms and legs are open and relaxed, you send a nonverbal communication that you’re confident and approachable.

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Pulling Your Ear

When you tug on your ear, it shows that you're trying to make a decision but just haven't gotten there yet. You tend to look indecisive or noncommittal.

Putting Your Head In Your Hands

When you put your head in your hands, it might mean that you're bored, as if you're so weary of life that you just can't hold your head up anymore. Or, it can mean that you're upset or so ashamed you don't want to show your face.

Standing Up Straight

Standing erect with good posture shows you feel confident.

Gesturing with Your Hands Open and Palms Up

What you do with your hands makes a big difference in whether people trust you or not. Hold your hands open and gesture with your palms up to show that, no, you don't have anything hidden from them.

Eye Contact

You need to make eye contact with the person you're talking to if you want them to feel comfortable with the conversation and accept what you have to say. Scientists suggest that most people are comfortable with eye contact of about 3.2 seconds at a time if you're a stranger. When you become a friend, they usually don't mind having eye contact with you for longer at a time.

Looking Down

Looking at the floor or ground makes you appear weak and unconfident. Unless there's something you need to discuss down there, you need to keep your eyes on the level of the other person's face. When you break eye contact, as you should every few seconds, try looking to the side.

Rubbing Your Hands Together

Want to show how excited you are about a new project? Just rub your hands together vigorously.

Twisting Your Hair

Often, movies and TV shows use the gesture of twisting the hair to show flirting. That may be the meaning you get when someone twists their hair, especially if they look up at you through their lashes while they do it.

However, if you're in a job interview, you'll only look like your nervous and uncomfortable as you idly twist your hair.

Microexpressions

Microexpressions are extremely brief facial expressions that happen in about 1/25th of a second. They happen when you're trying to hold back your emotions. When you see someone showing a microexpression, it usually means that they're trying to conceal something from you. However, if you learn to spot them, you can gain an advantage in any type of interaction.

Walking Briskly

When you want to show your self-confidence, walk briskly and with purpose. Whether you're going somewhere specific or not, walk as if you're striding confidently toward an important destination.

Placing Your Hand On Your Cheek

When you touch your cheek with your hand, you show that you're thinking and carefully evaluating the information you're receiving. When you see someone do this while you're talking to them, you can usually assume that they're taking you seriously enough to consider what you're saying.

Rubbing Your Eye

When you rub your eye, it usually means you doubt or disbelieve what you're hearing. If someone is rubbing their eye as you speak, you might benefit from stopping and asking for their feedback so that you can address their doubts.

Rubbing Or Touching Your Nose

When you rub or touch your nose with your index finger, you appear dishonest. If you do it in a conversation that requires openness and honesty, you'll have trouble accomplishing your goals. And, if you see someone else rubbing their nose, it's a good indication that you need to be careful not to believe everything they tell you automatically.

Standing With Your Hands Clasped Behind Your Back

Take a position with your hands clasped behind your back, and others may read this as anger, apprehension, or frustration. It may feel like a nice, casual pose, but in reality, it can make others uncomfortable and wary of you.

Pinching The Bridge Of Your Nose

When you close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, you seem to be making a negative evaluation of what's happening in the conversation. If someone takes this pose with you, you may need to take a different approach in enlisting their support for your goal.

Standing With Your Hands On Your Hips

This pose is tricky. In some cases, it can mean that you're feeling angry and may behave aggressively. In others, it may simply mean that you're enthusiastic and ready to get something done. How someone may interpret your meaning of this stance may have to do with your use of personal space. For most casual acquaintances, a good distance for personal space is about three feet or about an arm’s length distance between you if you’re standing shoulder to shoulder. You can stand a bit closer than that with good friends and family members and everyone should still be comfortable.

Body Language Communication Examples

Learning body language examples is a great first step to sending the right body language messages. It also helps you read the unspoken messages and nonverbal signals that others are sending to you.

However, knowing the right movements, gestures, and facial expressions can only take you so far. If you want to have healthy, productive interactions with others, you may need to work toward a better understanding of yourself and the people in your life.

Couples who misread each other's body language can quickly become angry at, disappointed in, or out of touch with each other. If you need help learning to communicate with your significant other or anyone else, it may benefit you to talk to a therapist.

You can reach out to BetterHelp.com for private, online therapy at your convenience. There, you'll speak to a licensed counselor who can help you build your self-esteem, heal your relationship, improve your mental health or handle work situations better. Some people believe that therapy is only for people that have some sort of mental health disorder. The reality is that therapists treat much more than mental health disorders. They can help you to improve your personality and help you to use verbal and nonverbal communication to help you become the person that you really want to be.

You can become fluent in body language. Even better, you can develop your qualities so that your body language naturally shows others the wonderful person you really are!

Questions People Commonly Ask:

FAQ

What are 5 examples of body language?

Body language refers to nonverbal behavior which conveys information to others. Five examples of body language are: lip biting, pursed lips, head nod, crossed arms, and upright and open posture. While these are common gestures we do every day without thinking about them, each one conveys its own unique message!

What are some common body language signals?

A person crossing their arms may indicate someone may feel uncomfortable or angry. A person with relaxed posture (uncrossed arms and legs, not slouching) indicates a person who feels calm and at ease. Tone of voice can also be a sort of body language, as it subtly indicates a person’s mood or intention without them saying it outright.

What is disrespectful body language?

It’s important to remember that body language can vary across cultures. For example, in North America, a quick, firm handshake is the norm. However, in Latin cultures, longer and warmer handshakes are common. In Turkey, a firm handshake is actually considered rude or aggressive! It’s important to do research on body language in different cultures to avoid disrespecting others.

How do you show positive body language?

You may make a person feel uncomfortable if you don’t make a conscious effort with your body language. For example, if you’re on a date, you may feel nervous and cross your arms out of habit. However, a nonverbal cue like this can send off the negative impression that you’re angry. Instead, try keeping your body open and relaxed. Also be sure to greet your date with a hug or shake hands with a firm handshake, as both of these body movements are examples of positive body language.

what do non-verbal signs and look mean when meeting

How much attention we pay to appearance when communicating with people, forgetting about the most important thing - the gestures of the interlocutor. But they can sometimes tell us more about a person and his character than we expect. Therefore, in order to know for sure how the interlocutor feels when talking with you and what he really thinks about, we decided to tell you about the main non-verbal signs when meeting and communicating.

Shot from the film "La La Land"

Hand movements

A shot from the film "Date with a Star"

Raising a hand to the mouth during communication most often indicates distrust of the partner, and during one's own speech - about insincerity. Therefore, we advise you to control hand gestures when communicating, so as not to create the wrong impression about yourself and your feelings.

Excessive gesticulation can also be considered a gesture of insincerity. Often, if you want to hide any information or divert the attention of the interlocutor, people begin to gesticulate vigorously. Therefore, we advise you to pay attention to the movement of the hands when you want to hide any information.

And if your interlocutor taps his fingers on the table, this means that the person is clearly nervous. True, from insane sympathy or for some other reason, this still has to be figured out.

Supporting the cheek with the palm of the hand is generally considered a gesture of boredom. So when talking with a potential partner, we advise you to keep your back straight and your hands on the table.

But the demonstration of the palms suggests the opposite - such a gesture means the openness and sincerity of the interlocutor. So in this case, you should not expect malicious intent from a person.

"007: Spectrum"

In addition, if a young man or colleague spins a ring on his finger (the main thing is not an engagement ring) or fiddles with a button on his jacket, this indicates his interest.

The repetition of your gestures can also be attributed to non-verbal signs of sympathy. For example, he takes his phone out of his pocket after you. In this case, you can be sure that he likes you and he is ready to continue communication with you.

What you should not do when talking with a potential partner, and with other people, is to look at your watch. Such a sign is read as disrespect and impatience. With this gesture, you can give the impression that you are bored with the interlocutor.

Hair

A shot from the movie "Clueless"

Girls often give themselves away by touching their hair. So, for example, when a girl touches her hair, as if wanting to fix it, this is a sure sign of her confidence, be prepared for attention from her.

The moment when a woman throws her hair back can be attributed to the same non-verbal sign - this is a sign of inner freedom and a desire to open up.

"Ballet Shoes"

But if a girl, on the contrary, covers her face with her hair, then in this way she seems to be trying to protect herself from problems. So we advise men not to neglect the attention to the gestures of girls associated with hair!

But it is worth remembering that you should not be too concerned about your hair during a conversation. If you correct your curls throughout the conversation, the young man will get the impression that you think only about your appearance, and you are not interested in dialogue with him.

Glance

A shot from the film The Wolf of Wall Street

Of course, this is not a gesture, but it can also tell a lot about a person's feelings for you. If his pupils dilate when he looks at you, he likes you. Narrowing - you have no chance.

A look into the eyes and down to the chest can also tell a lot. In the latter case, this indicates the sexual interest of the interlocutor.

By the way, in addition to the look, pay attention to the smile. In different situations, it means approval, admiration, and gratitude. So you can be sure that the interlocutor definitely has sympathy for you.

"500 Days of Summer"

But if a person looks away and does not look at you, then this indicates the opposite. This means that the interlocutor is hiding some information, is not sure what he is saying, or is lying at all.

It is also worth noting that making eye contact is good, but when it is abused, it gives a different impression. Too much eye contact is often perceived as aggression and an attempt to dominate.

Leg movements

Still from the movie "Basic Instinct 2"

Of course, when communicating with a person at the table, we rarely pay attention to leg movements, but still, sometimes it is worth doing! So, for example, crossed legs indicate that a person is not quite disposed to a frank conversation. And he perceives you not as an interlocutor, but as an adversary.

But the widely spaced legs say quite the opposite. With this arrangement, a person gives others a signal of dominance. Most often, of course, this pose can be seen in men.

The “American four” position can also be attributed to the same gesture (this is when one foot is on the floor, and the ankle of the other is thrown over the supporting leg). With a similar arrangement of legs, a man tries to emphasize his self-confidence.

But the crossing of the ankles suggests otherwise. This position of the legs means that the person is not confident or scared, he is uncomfortable. In this case, it is worth changing the topic of conversation or trying to defuse the situation.

Another position of the legs, in which it is worth paying attention to the atmosphere during the conversation, when they stand parallel to each other, but at the same time tapping on the floor. Such a gesture has an exclusively negative connotation - this means that the person is uncomfortable and does not mind leaving the room.

read eyes, gait and posture

Why is knowledge of body language essential for a successful career? Read about it in the material of the leading consultant of the HR company Tom Hunt Xenia Vetkina .

Ksenia Vetkina

How often do you monitor how your interlocutor behaves? Where is his gaze directed when he answers a question, or where are his hands? It seems that all these are minor things and it is not worth focusing on this? What is special about a person constantly scratching the back of his head or straightening his tie? It turns out that you can "bite" the interlocutor in this way in a jiffy if you can understand body language.

In Western companies for mid-level employees, knowledge and application in practice kinesics is mandatory, since by the nature of their activity they need to understand the art of communication "from and to", paying attention not only to what the opponent says, but also to how he does it. After all, words often diverge from deeds. And the effectiveness of negotiations should not depend on the fact that you could not notice in time when the interlocutor became bored or began to dissemble. A timely noticed non-verbal signal accidentally thrown by an opponent should be rationally used by you in your own interests and the interests of the company.

Why is body language important for a successful career? Evidence has long been obtained for the primacy of body language over spoken language. The degree of influence of ordinary language on the interlocutor is only 7%. This means that even the most compelling arguments may not convince the interlocutor, therefore, in order to successfully negotiate, it is sometimes necessary to use "guerrilla methods" and learn to read minds.

In the modern world, a person who owns communication skills owns the world. If you don't want to be just a cog in a huge company, you just need to learn to understand people. Learn to convince and win.

Knowledge of body language is necessary for those professions where the entire work process takes place under the auspices of constant communication, negotiations, that is, where the communication skill takes first place.

As you communicate with different people, you may notice some peculiarities and patterns. For example, coughing or tugging on one's ear is a sign of nervousness, a desire to end the conversation or take it in another direction. A unbuttoned jacket during a conversation speaks of the friendly direction of the conversation - the opponent is set to listen to you and, possibly, accept your point of view.

The topic of non-verbal communication has become especially relevant in the period of business globalization. When every self-respecting domestic company strives to become European, therefore, it uses all means to become closer to colleagues in the West. In the USSR, such a topic could only be of interest to "scientific minds" for research purposes.

Today, a huge number of articles and materials have been written, the mission of which is to bring to light all those who say one thing, think another, and do a third.

To begin with, I want to offer some tips on how to recognize an interlocutor in just 10-15 minutes of conversation. By remembering a few simple recommendations, you will understand his mood in time and turn the conversation in the right direction in time.

If the palms of the interlocutor are open up (this gesture can still be accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders) - know that the partner is very friendly towards you, so you are already on the way to the goal.
Your interlocutor listens to you with his head tilted ? Great, it means that your arguments are extremely interesting and relevant for him!
Another interesting gesture will help you determine almost with certainty that the goal of the negotiations will be achieved: if people are sitting on the edge of the chair, and resting their palms on 's knees, he is ready to accept your offer.

If your interlocutor verbally agrees with you, do not flatter yourself that the deal has already taken place. If the opponent crossed his arms over his chest , this is a signal that you are doing something wrong. Perhaps the arguments with which you are trying to prove your point seem to your opponent unconvincing or even absurd. If tactics are not changed in time, negotiations may be disrupted.
If your interlocutor often clicks the cap of the pen , taps his foot or performs another monotonous methodical action - this is a sure sign that he has not listened to you for a long time. You need to think about how to change the situation and interest him.
Your opponent has been wanting to end the conversation for a long time if he is sitting in such a position as if is ready to take off from his seat at any second, his legs are turned to the exit, and his gaze is to the side.

Do not forget that the people you communicate with evaluate not only what you say, but also how you do it. Therefore, we will not follow the famous proverb “He does not see the beam in his own eye, but notices the straw in another's eye” and will work on our body language. How do you look in the eyes of the interlocutor?

Let's look at a few simple rules that will help you create an image of an energetic and purposeful person.

The first and, in my opinion, the most important rule is to always be as friendly and open as possible. A smile speaks of sincerity of intentions and openness.
Gait: Purposefulness and enterprise are always associated with wide directed strides. Therefore, take your time, do not run across with small uncertain steps and do not shift from foot to foot. Success should be felt in everything!
So, you greeted the person with a smile and shook his hand when you met. The handshake should be firm and confident. If the interlocutor firmly squeezes his hand and turns it in such a way that your palm is under his hand, he expresses superiority. If the interlocutor holds out his hand to you with his palm up, he is ready to give you the palm. Think about who is in front of you: a boss or a subordinate - and calmly, without excitement or anxiety, shake hands.
If the meeting takes place on the opponent's territory - do not ask where you should sit, choose your own seat at the distance from the interlocutor at which you will be comfortable talking to him. Remember to maintain the necessary distance between people: it is different for introverts and extroverts, so choose the "golden mean". Be careful with soft armchairs and sofas! Sitting comfortably during a conversation, you can fall into a real trap - at the end of the conversation, you will not be able to quickly get up and shake your partner’s hand as a sign of the end of the meeting.
When speaking, behave naturally, try not to get excited, not to stutter, not to “swallow” words and endings. Speak at your normal pace. If a person “squeezed” into a chair and clutched the armrests with his hands, this is a clear signal of excitement and a desire to cope with strong feelings. Therefore, even during the most intense conversation, try to show the interlocutor that you know how to relax and are absolutely calm. All serious decisions are made only "on a cold head", which means that no one will enter into serious contracts with a person who nervously chews on the cap of a pen.
The desire to constantly look into the eyes of the interlocutor can simply frighten him and cause discomfort during communication, and the lack of contact will indicate extreme disinterest in the conversation and disrespect for the interlocutor. Therefore, it is necessary to find a "golden mean": a look "eye to eye" should not last more than 7 seconds.
Your posture can also be criticized by business partners. Therefore, forget about the stoop and dangling hands like a whip. As a rule, it symbolizes humility and humility. The back is only straight, but at the same time, the posture should be relaxed - if it is too tense, this can give you tension and excitement.

Knowledge of body language is like learning a foreign language: difficult and requires constant practice.

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