Signs a guy is depressed


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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

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Last Updated: 08/30/2022

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How to understand that a man is depressed

August 8, 2017 Health

According to the World Health Society, depression is one of the most common mental disorders. Men's depression is different from women's: it is more severe and has unpredictable consequences. There are several signs by which you can recognize depression in a man in order to contact a specialist in time.

1. Bad mood

Everyone has a bad mood. From the very morning everything can go awry, it happens. A healthy person will calmly survive unpleasant moments. If a man is depressed, minor troubles can unsettle him for a long time. Anger, fatigue, lack of appetite, or even physical pain build up. Irritation can drag on for a whole day.

Anastasia Vasilyeva

Neuropsychologist at the Yusupov Hospital.

Chronic stress and work at super speeds often leave no opportunity to recover. A man, in order not to fall in an avalanche on his family, chooses a strategy of distancing. This is an attempt to protect the family from itself and a way to communicate with the world and yourself. Gradually, a habit is formed to live in this way.

Depression is a barrier protecting the store of feelings, positive and negative. This is a signal that it is time to reconsider something in your life, learn how to find time for rest and joy every day, make a work schedule taking into account rest, increase emotional competence and learn how to express feelings in the family.


The anger caused by depression will not go away overnight, because the disease affects complex areas of the brain responsible for mood stability and control over emotions and memory.

2. Anger without cause

Depression breaks through the armor of masculinity and emotional dryness. Men consider depression something shameful, inherent only to the weak. Bitterness and longing in men are transformed into anger, often for no good reason. The desire to cause pain, physical or emotional, to throw things, to yell at others for no reason are manifestations of depression.

Vasily Ilyin

Psychologist, business coach.

Depression is accompanied by a breakdown and loss of joy from life. A man endures the decline extremely painfully, there is no strength for communication, so a person can repel loved ones. Finding no opportunities to improve his condition on his own, the man moves along the ancient evolutionary jet path. This is aggression and blaming loved ones.

It is common for all people to blame others and show aggression when they feel bad for a long time. This reaction, while hurting loved ones, is normal during depression. The body tries to regulate the state through emotional and affective reactions. It’s worse if they don’t exist and the person simply closes in on himself. This means that the depressive episode drags on and goes into a chronic phase, the so-called major depression.


Many depressed men feel they are losing their masculinity, so they go out of their way to act 'manly', deliberately rude. But much more courage is required to acknowledge the problem.

Anastasia Pristavkina

Psychologist, gestalt therapist, professional coach, member of the Association of Practical Psychologists and Coaches.

In the early 1960s, American psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck developed a cognitive model of depression. He suggested that a person has a triad of negative thoughts: about himself, his world and the future. That is, a person meets with his own impotence, because he is not able to change these three aspects. Surviving impotence is not easy, it is inseparable from humility.

Anger (aggression) is energy aimed at change. Once in a situation of impotence, a man begins to get angry in order to change something. He doesn't get anything. A person is highly charged, he is overwhelmed with feelings, so the manifestations of anger are disproportionate to the situation. It seems to others that this is anger for no reason. But there is a reason, and it is hidden from the most angry person deep in the unconscious.

3. Stupid deeds

Depressed men tend to commit reckless deeds. These are again manifestations of the "male code". When a man does not find the strength and words to express emotions, he does stupid things. It is bad that they are often dangerous both for the man himself and for those around him. Speeding, fighting, gambling and of course alcohol.

Grigory Bakhin

Practicing psychologist, executor of YouDo.com personal services online service.

Recklessness is committed for several reasons. Firstly, it is the desire to replace negative emotions with new bright and strong events. Often these actions are due to a decrease in responsibility for what is happening - this is such a forgotten feeling from childhood, when it was possible to "trick" and run away.

Secondly, depression is always associated with a loss of interest in life and its meaning. When a man does not see the incentive and motivation, reality is indifferent to him.

Thirdly, self-realization is very important for a man. He is pushed to adventure by the lack of faith in himself, the feeling of his own uselessness. Experiences make a man walk on the edge and look for a way out of the depressive circle in order to feel the thirst for life again.


Everyone does stupid things from time to time, but if the period of recklessness drags on, you should consult a doctor.

4. Alcohol and drug addiction

Approximately 20-25% of depressed men experience problems with alcohol or drugs. Alcohol seems to many to be a way out of a difficult situation. A couple of shots, throwing dopamine into the blood - and now worries fade into the background and it seems that life is getting better.

Alcohol is actually a bad antidepressant. Problems only intensify, health worsens. Sleep and mood spoil, stress accumulates, the desire to drink again appears. And so on in a circle to infinity.

5. Fatigue

Depression can be recognized by sleep disturbance: you want to sleep, but you suffer from insomnia until the morning. Such a state and a healthy person will bring to white heat. The causes of sleep problems lie in the head. The brain does not rest at night, but continues to drive thoughts, most often negative ones. The stress is on the rise. Insomnia leads to fatigue, loss of appetite, irritability and anger. This is a definite reason to see a doctor.

6. Intolerance towards others

A depressed man sees the world in black colors. People around irritate and infuriate, even loved ones and loved ones yesterday. I want to wrap myself in a cocoon and send the whole world to hell. In some cases, depressed men not only push away loved ones, but also blame them for their failures and problems.

Yana Denisova

Psychologist, head of the Psychological Practice Center.

Men show anger more freely. They are not instilled from childhood with the idea that being angry is ugly, as is often the case with girls. That is why we encounter the open manifestation of anger and anger of men more often.

Usually, after outbursts of anger directed at relatives, a person feels strong guilt. This is a clear sign that the anger is actually redirected from the real object to something more convenient and accessible. That is, relatives.

It is very important to understand who this real object is, that's half the battle. Then it is important to realize why it is unsafe to be angry with him, which prevents the manifestation of these feelings. The next step is to express your feelings. But where this is not possible and unsafe for any reason, it is useful to let the imagination run wild. You can write and tear an angry letter into small pieces, talk to yourself about everything that worries you, go to the gym and beat a pear. There are a lot of methods, you can combine different ones to choose the most effective one. After that, there will be much less tension and quarrels in the family.

7. Decreased libido

Sex improves mood, but is not suitable as a treatment for depression in men. Up to 75% of men experience libido problems due to depression. And this is one of the clear signals that something is wrong, especially at a young age. In this case, only contacting a specialist will help.

Depression in men

The outdated, “Soviet” perception of depression as a manifestation of spinelessness and shameful weakness of will, fortunately, has sunk into the past.

Contents

  • Causes of depression in men
  • Depression in men after 40
  • Depression: symptoms in men
  • How to get out of depression for a man: psychotherapy of depression
  • Treatment of depression in men: antidepressants

On the other hand, there is one drawback: depression, spleen, melancholy have even become almost fashionable in our society - melancholic thoughtfulness even gives its owner a certain touch of decadent aristocracy. The latest “trend” harms the serious perception of depression on the part of society: part of the society considers this diagnosis a trifle, the rest stigmatizes it. The second line of behavior is characteristic for the most part of the stronger sex, who are trying to maintain their reputation as "macho" and not complain about "life." Meanwhile, depression is actually an extremely serious disease that threatens not only the well-being, but also the lives of men.

Causes of depression in men

Depression is a common disorder that is less common in men than in women: gender is considered an independent risk factor for major depressive disorder, so women are diagnosed more often than men. However, this disease poses a huge threat to men, because according to statistics, men are more likely to commit suicide as a result of depression (although women suffering from this disease are more likely to attempt suicide). It is worth noting that the likelihood of suicide attempts decreases in middle and old age, although the risk of committing suicide on the background of depression is still quite high in men. At the same time, the clinical course of depressive disorder in men as they age, as a rule, does not change dramatically.

It is noteworthy that there are no gender differences in the severity of depression: serious forms of depressive disorders are equally common among both women and men.

Strong stress can cause depression in men - the loss of a loved one, difficult family relationships or conflicts at work. As for other reasons, in men they are often associated with age-related changes, which make themselves felt at a certain time with very specific manifestations.

Depression in men after 40

Each age has its advantages, and the specified age limit is a productive period in the life of men: the body has reached a stable development, the brain is working at a high power limit ... However, there is one but: due to the decline levels of certain hormones, such as testosterone, some physiological parameters begin to regress. This process can be exacerbated by associated health problems, genetic factors, or adverse environmental influences.

Sexual function, the symbol of masculinity, suffers first. Indeed, middle-aged men are more likely to suffer from erection problems and prostate problems, which in itself can lead to depression.

One way or another, completely organic age-related processes are usually denied by a man - rather, he will try to prove the opposite. Some men are distracted from these problems by pursuing professional ambitions, turning to religion or playing sports, others by flirting with young women. In some cases this is acceptable; however, sometimes the process gets out of control, and in this case there is a risk of developing depression.

Some men, having reached the “mark” of 40, try to realize themselves and try to do everything that they could not do in their younger years, even if these goals have lost their relevance. Sometimes this situation is hypertrophied - the so-called midlife crisis develops - and the desire for self-realization becomes an obsession, which is also a predisposing factor in the development of depression.

Depression: symptoms in men

It cannot be argued that the signs of depression in men are sufficiently specific to speak specifically of "male" depression. Although male patients with major depressive disorder are more likely than females to develop symptoms such as irritability, anger, agitation, and are more likely to abuse psychoactive substances in the background of depression, they also have "unisex" manifestations of depression, such as:

  • depressed mood,
  • loss of interest in work or hobbies,
  • changes in weight,
  • sleep disorders,
  • trouble concentrating
  • fatigue.

Men with depression at any age can show the classic symptoms of depression, although often the disease can be latent. Therefore, due to the rather high frequency of the so-called masked depressions, it is important to consult a specialist at the slightest suspicion of mental problems.

How to get out of depression for a man: psychotherapy for depression

Psychotherapy for depression always begins with a diagnosis, which is within the competence of a specialist only. The two main lines of treatment for clinical depression are psychotherapy and drug therapy (taking antidepressants): this approach relieves symptoms in most people with depression. At the same time, many psychiatrists profess the principle “First the word, then the medicine”: I prescribe medications only if “talk therapy” has not brought the expected result. Most psychiatrists resort to cognitive behavioral therapy in such cases. Also quite effective in the treatment of depression are existential and psychodynamic therapy (a direction in psychotherapy that aims to lead the patient to comprehend his life, realize his life values ​​and change his life path based on these values, taking full responsibility for his choice) and psychodynamic therapy ( psychoanalysis, which is focused on studying the impact of past experience on the formation of a certain repetitive behavior).

Treatment of depression in men: antidepressants

antidepressants. However, a doctor may prescribe antidepressants at the same time as "talk therapy", since many specialists prefer to use a combined approach in the treatment of depression: psychotherapy + antidepressants.

All antidepressants can cause side effects such as headache, nausea, sleep disturbances, nervousness, sexual problems. Although most of these side effects decrease over time, given the specifics of depression in men, it is important to choose the drug that is as safe as possible. (Similarly, remember that the risk of untreated depression far outweighs the risks of antidepressants when used under medical supervision.)

Given the higher safety profile of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) compared to drugs from other groups, antidepressants of this group are most often prescribed for the treatment of depression.

In everyday life, a man suffering from depression should be treated with maximum patience and tact, even if he has already repeatedly visited a doctor and started treatment with antidepressants. This is due to the fact that almost all antidepressants, regardless of the class, show their effect approximately 4-6 weeks after the start of drug therapy.


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