Topic for discussion with friends

Good Question... 45+ Deep Conversation Starters with Friends

There’s a reason deep, meaningful talks can have lasting effects on your relationships. We asked two experts how to go about starting those kinds of conversations.

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You may think you know someone, but do you, really?

Whether you’ve known them a day or a decade, there’s something about a profound conversation that can help you see people in a whole new light and, hopefully, strengthen your bond.

If you feel intimidated about jumping into the deep end of dialogue, you’re not alone. So we rounded up 5 examples and 45 questions to help you get started.

Deep connections are based on curiosity and vulnerability, and an imperfect, real exploration, says Jackie Tassiello, a therapist in the greater New York City area.

“Relationships need nurturance; they’re not static,” she says. “Through intentional conversation starters, we’re metaphorically watering the plant of our relationship. We’re providing the care and energy that goes into growth.”

“The safety of deep relationships is the foundation for so many healing benefits,” she adds. “Some [2017] research shows that when we feel completely safe with someone, our nervous system relaxes in a way that invites healing and growth.”

What types of questions are best to get to know someone deeply?

You may have seen the viral “36 questions to fall in love” experiment on YouTube.

The original research behind this comes from a series of experiments by psychologist Arthur Aron in the 1990s. He was able to measure how intimacy forms between two strangers in just 45 minutes with a series of deeper and deeper questions.

It works for people in existing relationships, too.

In his book “Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love,” Dr. John Gottman indicates that 4 decades of research shows that in healthy relationships, people make time to be curious and get to know one another.

Kimberly Panganiban, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego, California says, “In order to do this, try to ask open-ended questions. These could be past-, present-, or future-oriented.”

“The goal is to strike a conversation in which you both learn new things about one another and, therefore, feel more connected. Questions that generate discussion about emotions can bring the deepest connection,” adds Panganiban.

Types of questions

Some helpful types of questions may include:

Open-ended: What’s one movie that made you tear up and why?
Past: What’s the most memorable dream you’ve ever had?
Present: What’s the most important quality to you in a friend, right now?
Future: What’s one quality you hope to change about yourself in the future?
Needs-oriented: How can I best support your needs right now?

As humans, we are all wired for connection. It’s necessary for our survival and it supports our mental health in many ways, says Panganiban.

“Connection helps us to feel secure in life and about ourselves, which allows us to engage more with the world,” she explains.

“When our basic need of attachment is met, it leaves us open to pursuing other interests, goals, and adventures. We feel a sense of comfort and safety, knowing we have people that we can count on and that love us,” she adds.

A list of questions at the ready can help take some of the pressure off.

(In)frequently asked questions

What’s a quality you still want to have at age 90?
What book has influenced you the most?
What’s your #1 goal right now?
What’s your quirkiest habit?
What do you like the most about being “you”?
What’s one fear you want to master?
Who’s your role model, dead or alive?
What was your favorite novel as a kid?
What’s a quote that inspires you?
What’s your greatest achievement so far?
What subject did you look forward to in school?
Are your priorities different from what they were 10 years ago?
Has your character been shaped by anyone?
What’s your favorite memory of helping a stranger?
What’s the earliest thing you remember as a child?
Have you had any recurring nightmares?
What’s a recent lesson your parents/caregivers taught you?
If you had a time machine, what year would you travel to?
If you had a free hour, how would you spend it?
In all of history, who would you spend an afternoon with?
If you could travel anywhere in the world for dinner, where would it be?
What animal would you want to be for a day, and why?
What would be the topic of your New York Times bestselling book?
If you had paints right now, how would you fill a blank canvas?
How do you define success?
What is the cause of cruel behavior in the world?
How can you tell when you have chemistry with someone?
In all of human history, what’s the most important event?
Why are we here on this planet?
What’s one truth you’ve learned about being a human?
When you think about the future, what makes you nervous?
What would help you feel the most relaxed right now?
What’s the biggest challenge you’ve overcome?

What’s a time when you failed, and what did it teach you?
When you feel self-doubt, how do you push through it?
Can you recall the last time something made you cry?
What’s the biggest trigger for your stress?
What happened on the greatest day of your life?
How do you think all of Earth’s different religions came to be?
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you believe in prayer and, if so, how do you do it?
What makes you feel lonely?
Do you believe that humans have a soul that lives on?
What’s a secret about you that you haven’t told anyone?
What makes you feel the most alive?

Being a skilled conversationalist takes practice. A good set of communication skills can help you show interest in what your someone is saying.

When you ask someone a question, for example, you may find it helpful to employ a few active listening techniques, such as:

nodding
asking for more details
maintaining eye contact
repeating back what they said
responding with encouragers, including “hmm” and “interesting”
giving someone your full attention — that means not looking at your phone

There’s an art to ending a deep conversation. Without some finesse, things could feel awkward or incomplete.

The first step is picking the right moment. It’s a good idea to wrap things up when:

there’s a natural lull
you notice a sense of “completion”
your conversation partner looks bored or uncomfortable
a person, or device, interrupts the flow
there are body language cues that show they’re ready to go
you’d like to reflect

When the opportunity arrives, you can thank your conversation partner and suggest a lighter follow-up activity. For example, this could sound like:

“Thank you for opening up to me. I really enjoyed this conversation. I hope we can have more of these in the future. Would you like to split the bill and take a quick walk in the sun, before I have to head back to work?”

What if a conversation takes a downturn?

In the event of a downturn, try to use this as an opportunity to keep improving your connection by offering compassion, validation, or in some cases, an apology, says Tassiello.

“Downturns are a part of the deal when we’re in deep with someone,” she says. “Instead of fearing that aspect, bring yourself into the present moment and ask how you can be supportive around the topic next time, or what the person needs.”

Meaningful conversations can help deepen your interpersonal connections, which in turn, can help improve your overall health and well-being.

When you’re done with the 45 questions above, you can keep the conversation flowing with Gottman’s Card Decks, which are available in an app form on your device, says Panganiban.

You may also find it helpful to sift through “The Complete Book of Questions: 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion” by Garry Poole.

101 Topics to Talk About

We’ve all been in that situation where you are talking to someone, the conversation dies down, and you are both just sitting there as you try to think of a topic to talk about.

Definitely awkward. But hopefully these topics to talk about will help you avoid that situation in the future. You can commit some of them to memory and you’ll always have something to talk about.

First though, here are some general tips for a good conversation.

Conversation tips

Make sure to ask lots of follow up questions related to their answers. But remember it’s a conversation, not an interrogation. So when they ask you a question, make sure to give a long detailed answer and answer any follow up questions they ask you. Every conversation should be a give and take of talking and listening.
Don’t discuss religion and politics until you get to know someone. There are no religion or politics topics on this list and that is because you probably shouldn’t discuss these topics unless you want to get into an argument with the person or make the person uncomfortable. Seriously, just don’t.
There are some people who might just not feel like talking. Remember, if someone gives you a lot of one word answers, doesn’t make eye contact, and doesn’t ask you any questions; that probably means they aren’t in the mood for a conversation. In that case it’s better to just end the conversation and leave them to their own thoughts.
Keep the majority questions open-ended. This will make it more likely to get answers that have a lot of detail so that you can ask follow up questions. If most of your questions are closed-ended you’ll end up getting lots of yes, no, and one word answers.

Okay, enough with the introduction and tips. Here we go, topics to talk about. Enjoy!

Topics to get the conversation started
Topics to get to know someone
Tech topics to talk about
Personal history topics to talk about
Random topics to talk about

Under each topic are a few sample questions to get you started and to help you think of other questions. But remember that these are just the beginning of the questions you can ask. There are many more possible questions for each topic. Come up with your own questions based on their answers or from your own creativity. And if you need even more topics and questions check out our interesting conversation topics page for a few more.

Topics to get the conversation started

These are your run of the mill, first meeting someone, topics to talk about. Your ice breakers. You’ll find that most people will have at least some things to say about each of these topics.

Once you stumble upon something interesting or something they are interested in, keep talking about that for a while. Branch off from your initial topic and ask follow up questions about whatever they seem interested in. Usually people like talking about themselves, so it’s usually good to focus on them and be a good listener with occasional prompting follow up questions.

1. Current situation

Usually the best way to start a conversation is to talk about your current situation. The questions you’ll ask vary greatly on where you are and what you are doing.

So for example, if you are waiting for something you might ask how long they’ve been waiting. Or if you are at a show or an event you might ask if they’ve seen the performer or speaker before. If you are traveling somewhere you might ask where the other person is headed. If you are at place that is serving food, talk about the food. If there is music playing, talk about the music.

2. Job / Work

What do you do?
How long have you worked there?
Do you like it?
How are your coworkers?
What’s the best / worst thing about being a (their job)?

3.

Clothes

This one works best if you talk about what they are wearing. Maybe try complementing a piece of clothing they are wearing that you like and ask where they got it.

You can also try some of these clothes conversation starters.

4. News

Again, stay away from political news stories.

What do you think about (current news story)?
Did you hear about (news story)?
How much do you follow the news?
What do you think doesn’t get enough news coverage?
What gets too much attention in the news?
How do you get your news?

5. Sports

Do you like (sport you like)?
What teams do you follow?
What was the last game you went to?
What do you think about (popular player / team that is doing well)?
Do you play any sports?
Who do you think will win the (major sports event)?

More sports questions.

6. Where they are living

Avoid asking exactly where they live. You don’t need to know their address. Just keep it to general areas.

What part of (city you are in) do you live in?
How do you like your neighborhood?
When did you move there?
What’s the best thing about living in that part of town?

7. Not too distant future

Just a heads up, this can sometimes make the person you are talking to think you want to make plans with / date them.

What are your plans for the weekend?
Where are you planning to go for your next vacation?
Anything exciting going on this week?

Topics to get to know someone

These topics to talk about are great for getting to know someone better. They are great for when you’ve gone past the friendly introductory small talk and feel like you’ve made connection with the person.

1. Free time

What do you do in your free time?
How much free time do you have?
What do you wish you had more time for?

2.

Music

What kind of music are you into?
What music did you like when you were younger?
What’s your favorite band / singer?
Have you been to any concerts recently?
What’s your favorite album?

More music conversation starters.

3. Movies

What type of movies do you like?
What’s your favorite movie?
Who’s your favorite actor / actress / director?
What’s the last movie you saw?

More movie conversation starters.

4. Food

What’s your favorite food / ethnic food / restaurant / thing to cook / seasonal food?
Do you like cooking?
How do you usually find good restaurants?
What weird foods have you tried?

More food conversation starters.

5. Books

Do you like reading books?
What types of books do you like?
What’s the last book you read?
What’s your favorite book?
What book is overrated?
Are there any books you would really recommend I read?

More book conversation starters.

6. TV

What shows do you watch?
What do you think about (popular TV show)?
Have you seen (TV show you like)?
What are some shows that ended that you were really into?
What show do I really need to check out?

More TV conversation starters.

7. Travel

Where have you been on vacation?
What did you like / dislike about (place they traveled)?
Where do you wish you could go?
What place do I really need to see?
What’s your favorite place you’ve been?

More travel conversation starters.

8. Hobbies

Do you have any hobbies?
How long have you been doing them?
How did you get started?
What common misconceptions do people have about your hobby?
What hobbies did you have when you were younger?

9. Children

This topic usually only works if you both have children. So you have something in common to talk about. If one of you doesn’t have children, you might want to skip this topic.

10. Pets

Are you a cat person or a dog person?
What do you think about (animal) as a pet?
What pets have you had?
What pet would you like to have?

11. Restaurants

What good restaurants do you know of around here?
What’s your go to restaurant when you want to eat out but can’t decide where to go?
What’s your favorite (Mexican/ Thai / Vietnamese / etc.) restaurant around here?
What’s your favorite pizza place near here?

More restaurant conversation starters.

12. Current trends

What are some current trends you just can’t get behind?
What current trend is going to look the silliest in 10 years?
Do you usually follow trends or just do your own thing?

13. Comedy / Humor

What kind of sense of humor do you have?
Are there any comedians you really like?
What are some of your favorite comedies?

14.

Actors / Actresses

Who are some of your favorite actors or actresses?
What actor or actress will you watch no matter how bad the ratings for the movie are?
Which actor or actress used to be really popular but has fallen off the radar?
What actors or actresses only play one character in every movie they are in?

15. Learning / Studies

What kinds of things do you pick up easily?
What subjects were hardest for you in school?
What kinds of things are you interested in learning more about?

Tech topics to talk about

Our lives are filled with tech. We are surrounded by it. So these tech topics to talk about will probably appeal to whoever you are talking with even if they aren’t super into tech. Here are some more tech questions as well.

That being said, if the person you are talking to seems a bit clueless about tech, you might want to switch to another topic.

1. Apps

What’s your favorite app on your phone?
What app do you spend the most time on?
What app would you suggest everyone get?
What app do you wish you didn’t have to use?

More app conversation starters.

2. Internet

What do direction do you think the internet is headed in?
What is the longest you’ve been offline?
What’s on the internet that you couldn’t live without?

3. Games

What game on your phone or tablet are you really into now?
What was the best mobile game you’ve played?
Do you like board or card games?
How about console or PC games?

4. Virtual reality

What do you think would be the most useful thing you could do with virtual reality?
What would be the most entertaining or interesting thing you could do with VR?
Do you think that VR will become mainstream in the near future?

5. Phones

What phone do you have?
How do you like your phone?
How often do you get a new phone?
What do you look for when you get a new phone?
How many phones have you lost or broken?

More phone conversation starters.

6. Privacy

How concerned about privacy are you?
Do you think all the hype about privacy is warranted?

7. Self-driving cars

Would you buy a self-driving car if it was affordable?
Are you concerned about the rise of self-driving cars?
What will be some of the benefits of self-driving cars?
Will there be any drawbacks of self-driving cars?

8. Podcasts

This only works if they or you are into Podcasts. If you don’t know about podcasts, you should check them out. Whatever you are into, there is probably a podcast about it.

What podcast do you always start up as soon as it hits your feed?
What are some podcasts that you used to be into but you don’t listen do anymore?
What kind of podcast would you start if you were given the chance?

9. Following on Social Media

What social media platform do you spend the most time on?
Who is the most interesting person you follow?
What kinds of people do you follow?
Who sometimes annoys you but you still follow them because they occasional put out something amazing?

10.

Websites

What websites do you spend the most time on?
What are some truly bizarre websites you’ve been to?
What is the most useful site you’ve used?

Personal history topics to talk about

These can be great “get to know you” topics to talk about, but they can also get very personal. So you might want to save most of these for when you know a person a little bit better.

1. Where they grew up

What was your hometown like?
Did you enjoy where you grew up?
How much did where you grew up shape you?
What were some of the best and worst things about where you grew up?

2. Things they were into

What games did you play as a child?
What kind of hobbies did you have when you were growing up?
What cartoons or shows did you watch when you were a kid?
What fads or interests were you really into when you were younger?

3. School

Image source: The Pigeon Gazette

What was your elementary / junior high / high school like?
Did you go to college? What did you major in?
Where did you go to college / high school?
What kind of kid were you when you were in high school?

4.

Friends

Do you stay in touch with your old childhood friends?
What do you usually do when you hang out with your friends?
Do you prefer having a lot of friends or just a few close ones?
How long have you known your best friend?
How did you and your best friend meet?

5. Family

How many siblings do you have?
Do you live close to your family?
Do you still go to a lot of family gatherings?
What family traditions do you have?

6. Previous jobs

What kind of jobs have you worked at?
What’s the best / worst / most interesting job you’ve had?
What’s the longest you’ve worked at a job?

7. Where they have lived

Where’s the best / worst place you’ve lived?
What was your college apartment / dorm like?

8. Accomplishments

What accomplishment are you most proud of?
What awards or trophies have you won?
What is the next big thing you want to accomplish?

9.

Clubs

I’m going to go with clubs you join. But if the person you are talking to is into clubbing you can talk about clubs they like to go to.

What clubs have you been a part of?
Where there any clubs you joined but then immediately realized it wasn’t what you expected?
If you were to start a club, what kind of club would it be?

Random topics to talk about

These are topics that might seem a little weird to ask someone you just met or to ask someone out of the blue. But they are great topics to talk about for friends or people you’ve gotten to know well. They also work well if a person shows an interest in the topic. We also have a huge list of good questions to ask that are similar to these types of questions.

1. Cars

What was the first car you owned?
What car would you like to have?
Do you like the car you have now?
How long have you had your current car?

2. Holidays

What were your favorite holidays when you were a child?
How about now, what are your favorite holidays now that you are older?
What holiday do you wish existed?
What are your plans for (upcoming holiday)?

3.

Coffee

Do you like coffee?
How many cups do you usually drink a day?
How do you take your coffee?
Where do you usually get your coffee fix?
What kind of coffee do you usually order at a café?
How often do you go to a café?

4. Photography

Do you take a lot of pictures?
What do you usually take pictures of?
Do you have a stand-alone camera or do you usually just use your phone?
Do you use a selfie stick?
What are some of your favorite photos you’ve taken?

5. The beach

Do you like going to beaches?
How often do you go to a beach?
What good / bad memories of beaches do you have?
When was the last time you went to a beach?
What was the best / worst beach you’ve been do?
What’s your favorite thing to do at the beach?

6. Hiking

How often do you go on hikes?
Do you like hiking?
What was the most beautiful hike you’ve been on?
What was the longest hike you’ve done?
Where is the best place to go hiking near you?

7.

Aliens

Do you think alien life exists?
How about intelligent alien life?
Do you think we’ll find microscopic alien life in our own solar system?
Do you think that intelligent aliens have ever or will ever visit earth?
How different will alien life be to life on Earth?

8. Change

How comfortable are you with change?
Do you think a lot of change is healthy or unhealthy for a person?
What do you think about the speed of change happening in the world today?
What do you think has been the biggest change that has happened in the last 50 years?
What still needs to be changed?

9. Cooking

Are you good at cooking?
What are you the best at cooking?
What are you the worst at cooking?
What was your most epic cooking failure?
Who is the best cook you know?

10. Talents and Skills

Is there anything you are naturally good at?
What do you wish you were better at?
What are the most useful skills you have?
What skills would you like to learn?
What are some skills that you think everyone should learn?
Do you have any unusual skills or talents?

11.

Shopping

What do you like / hate shopping for?
Where do you usually shop for clothes / shoes / groceries?
How often do you window shop?
Do you prefer shopping online or in person?
When shopping for clothes / shoes, do you prefer to shop alone or with other people?

12. Habits

What’s your best / worst habit?
Have you ever succeeded in breaking a bad habit?
What’s a good habit you’d like to start?
What’s a bad habit that you just can’t seem to break?

13. Goals

What are some things you want to achieve before you die?
What is the silliest goal you have?
What goals have you achieved so far?
How good are you at finishing what you start?
What goals have you realized just aren’t going to happen?

14. Social media

Image source: Sarah Candersen

What social media platform do you use most often?
Which social media platforms do you not get?
Are there any social media outlets that you don’t like but have to be on them because of friends or family?
How much time do you spend on social media?

15.

Charity / Volunteering

Have you done any volunteering?
How did you like it?
Do you ever contribute to charities?
What charities do you think are most worthwhile?
Do you think any charities aren’t worth supporting?
What kind of volunteer would you like to try?

16. Fishing

When was the last time you went fishing?
Do you like fishing?
What was the biggest fish you have ever caught?
Who do you go fishing with or do you go alone?
Where is your favorite place to fish?

17. Languages

Do you know any other languages?
What words do you know in other languages?
What language do you wish you could learn?
What is the most useful language to know?
What do you think about English becoming the default language?
What do you think would be the hardest language to learn?

18. Online dating

Have you ever tried a dating site or app? How did it go?
Do you think that online / app dating or more traditional ways of dating are better?
What do you think could be done to improve online dating and dating apps?

19.

Super heroes

What do you think about the flood of super hero movies and TV shows?
Which super hero movie / TV show is your favorite?
Did you read comics when you were a kid?
Who is your favorite / least favorite super hero?
What super power would you like to have?

20. Stress

What stresses you out the most?
How stressed are you on a daily basis?
What’s the best way to relieve stress?
What’s stressing you out these days?
What stresses you out but really shouldn’t?

21. Creativity

How creative are you?
What do you do that requires you to be creative?
Is creativity something that can be learned?
Who is the most creative person you know?
How important is creativity for your job?
What profession requires the most creativity?

22. Heroes

Who did you look up to as a child?
Who do you look up to now?
Did you have any of your role models let you down?
What is the most heroic profession?
What makes a person a good role model?

23.

Happiness

When are you happiest?
What do you think leads to long term happiness?
Can a person learn to be happier?
What do you do that makes you happy in the short term but makes you unhappy in the long term?
Do you think people are happier on average now than they were in the past?

24. Advertising

What ads annoy you the most?
Do you think that advertising affects your buying choices?
What ads are the most effective?
What are some clever or funny ads you have seen?
Do you think the internet would survive without advertising?

25. Celebrities

Which celebrities do you like / dislike?
How much do you follow news about celebrities?
Would you ever want to be famous?
Which celebrity has done the most good for society?
Which celebrity has done the most harm to society?
What makes you like / dislike a celebrity?

26. Retirement

At what age would you like to retire?
What would you like to do once you retire?
How do you think you’ll adapt to retirement?
Where would you like settle down after you retire?
How has retirement changed over the years?

27.

Stereotypes

How accurate do you think stereotypes are?
What stereotypes apply to you? Do you think they are accurate?
What are some positive stereotypes?
Why do you think stereotypes are so common?
What stereotypes are the most hurtful?

28. Corruption

How widespread is corruption in your country / state / city / job?
What do you think is the most common type of corruption?
What is the most dangerous type of corruption?
What are some of the worst instances of corruption you’ve heard about?

29. Weather

Yeah, it’s a bit cliche but sometimes it works well!

What’s your favorite type of weather?
What do you like to do on rainy days?
What is the best thing do on hot / cold / sunny / windy days?
What’s the worst storm you’ve been through?
Where do you think the best place to live is for the type of weather you like?

30.

The distant future

What do you think life will be like in 10 / 25 / 50 / 100 years?
Do you think humanity is headed in a good direction?
What discovery could be made that would completely change the course of humanity?
How long would you like to live?

31. Driving

What’s your favorite / least favorite place to drive?
How is your commute?
Do you usually listen to music, talk radio, podcasts, or silence while driving?
What’s the best road trip you’ve been on?

32. Parks / National Parks

You can make this one about neighborhood parks or national parks, whatever works best for your situation.

How often do you go to parks?
Are there a lot of parks around where you live?
Where is the best park you’ve been to?
What do you usually do when you are at a park?

33. Space

Given the chance, would you go to colonize Mars if you knew you would never be coming back to Earth?
Do you think there are intelligent aliens in our galaxy?
If you could have a faster than light space ship and could go anywhere in space, where would you go?

34.

Animals

What is your spirit animal?
Besides dogs or domestic cats do you have any favorite animals?
What is the coolest thing you’ve seen an animal do?

35. Aging

How old do you want to live to?
Do you think younger or older people are happier? Why?
What is the perfect age to be?

36. Crafts

What kind of crafts have you done?
Are you good with your hands?
What home improvement project would you like to attempt?
What is the coolest thing you’ve made?

37. Exercise / Being active

This topic might go over better if the person you are talking to looks like they live an active lifestyle.

What do you do to stay active?
Do you like exercising or lifting weights?
What’s your favorite outdoor activity?

38. Drinking

These questions are about alcoholic drinks, but if the person you are talking about doesn’t drink I guess you could still talk about non-alcoholic drinks.

What’s your favorite drink?
Do you usually go out or have friends over when you have a few drinks?
Do you like beer or cocktails more? What types?

39. Googling

What comes up when you Google your name?
What is the weirdest thing you’ve Googled?
How bad would it be if you Google search results were made public?

40. Camping

How often do you go camping?
Where have you been camping?
What was your best / worst camping trip?
What do you usually take with you when you go camping?

41. Ice cream

What’s your favorite flavor?
What’s your favorite ice cream brand or shop?
Where was your best ice cream experience?

42. Fashion

Do you try to keep up with the latest fashion?
Where do you usually shop for clothes at? Why there?
How would you describe your look?

43. Luck

Who is the luckiest / unluckiest person you know?
Do you think some people are born lucky or do you think people make their own luck?
What was the luckiest thing that happened to you?
Do you have any good luck charms or rituals?

44.

Sleep

How much sleep do you need to function? Do you usually get more or less than that?
What’s your secret for getting a good night’s sleep?
What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

45. Dancing

How good of a dancer are you?
Where do you usually dance?
If you could master any form of dancing, what type of dancing would you master?

46. Singing

Have you ever done karaoke? What’s your go to song?
Do you sing in the car while you are listening to music?
How good of a singer are you?
Do you think people are born good singers or can someone learn to be a good singer?

47. Fixing things

What was the last thing you fixed?
How good are you at fixing things?
What did you try to fix but it ended up just making it worse?

48. Culture / Sub cultures

What culture do you identify most with?
What’s the best and worst thing about popular culture?
What kind of culture did you grow up in?

49.

Art

What kind of art do you like?
Do you ever go to art museums?
What do you think of modern art?
What is the coolest piece of art you’ve seen?

50. Cards

Do you like playing cards? What kind of games do you know how to play?
Have you ever won money playing cards?
How often do you play cards?

51. Brands

Do you have any brands that you are really loyal to?
What brands are not worth the extra money they charge? What brands are worth the extra money?
What brand has seriously gone downhill?

52. Nature

What’s your favorite natural setting to be in?
How often do you get out into nature?
What’s the farthest you’ve been from civilization?

53. Fruit

What’s your favorite / least favorite fruit?
What fruit flavor do you love but aren’t crazy about the actual fruit?
What fruit is the biggest pain to eat?

54.

Plants / gardening

How good are you at taking care of plants?
Have you ever had a garden? Would you like to have a garden?
What’s the coolest looking plant you’ve seen?
How often do you go to botanical gardens?

55. Swimming

Can you swim? How did you learn?
Do you go swimming often? Where do you usually go swimming?
Where is the most beautiful / dirtiest place you’ve swum?

56. Facts

What’s the most interesting fact you know?
Are there any facts you learned that caused you to change how you lived your life?
What are some things that are bandied about as facts but aren’t true?

57. Pet peeves

What kind of things get on your nerves more than they should?
What small things do you consider rude?
What does your friend / coworker / roommate that bugs you to no end?

58. Musical instruments

Can you play any musical instruments?
What musical instruments have you tried playing?
If you could play any musical instrument like a master without any effort, what instrument would you choose?

59.

Fame

Would you want to be famous?
What level of popularity do people have to have to be considered famous?
What are the biggest upsides and downsides of being famous?

60. History

How long do you think you would have survived in prehistoric times?
What is the most interesting period of history?
What’s the most important lesson people can learn from history?
What historical figure was not as great as people think they are?

Interesting topics for conversation with anyone, anywhere

Hello everyone!

Communication can come to a standstill regardless of who your interlocutor is: a new acquaintance or a person with whom you have known each other for a hundred years. In order not to stretch awkward pauses, it would be good to always have interesting topics for conversation at hand.

We have prepared for you a large list of topics and tips for a variety of occasions. Don't forget to save the article so you don't lose it!

Suggestions for interesting conversations

Before we go directly to the topics, we would like to dwell on important nuances that will help avoid communication mistakes:

"Yes or no".
If you come to a tête-à-tête meeting, do not turn the dialogue into an interrogation with passion. Do not bombard the person with questions as if he came for an interview. When deciding to touch on a particular topic, be sure to tell similar information about yourself. Usually people continue to speak out of inertia and so do not feel discomfort. But pulling the blanket over yourself, forcing you to listen only to your person, is also not worth it. Stick to the golden mean.
Listen carefully, ask clarifying questions. This is how you show interest and show respect.
Don't give unsolicited advice, especially to strangers. Even if you think the person needs it. This is extremely insensitive.
Avoid complaining and pitting anyone. The negative is repulsive.
Do not be afraid of silence. There can be natural pauses in any conversation. Long conversations are also exhausting. If it is comfortable to talk with a person, then it will be comfortable with him and be silent for a while. At least to finish your salad or finish your cup of coffee, if the circumstances are appropriate.

Topics to talk about

Each situation has its own topics to talk about, so we have divided this article into several categories. Choose your case and take note of what fits.

On a date

Before a date, the main thing to remember is how important it is to be yourself. Do not choose topics that you are not interested in.

If you do not like art, do not study the work of Claude Monet and speak about the work of Pablo Picasso before the meeting.

Look for things you can talk about passionately together.

Otherwise, you shouldn't even get upset if communication doesn't work out.

We did not divide the topics into male and female, but put together a universal list of sample questions, on the basis of which you can develop a discussion with both a guy and a girl. Not only will they help keep the conversation going, but they'll also help you get to know the person well enough to form an opinion about them and decide if they're right for you.

What are some interesting questions for the couple?

We invite you to chat on the following topics:

How was your day, working week?
Talk about what helped you get to know each other. For example, if the meeting took place in a group of friends, ask how long the person has known them. If the acquaintance happened on social networks, ask how often the interlocutor makes friends in this way.
What do you like to do in your free time, what are your hobbies?
Where are you from?
What childhood memories do you remember the most?
What films do you watch? What was the last time you went to the cinema? What do you recommend to watch from comedies, science fiction and other things?
What places in the city do you visit most often?
Where have you rested in your life and where would you prefer to return again?
How do you feel about sports, art, music?
Do you like to read books? What genres do you prefer? What publications do you remember the most?
Do you have dreams?
Tell us about your profession, study, work.
How do you feel about alcohol?
Are there bad habits that you struggle with?
How do you like to spend weekends and holidays? Do you prefer a relaxing holiday or an active one?
Do you have any pets?
What would you like to do if you had no restrictions on finances and resources?
Are you a lark or an owl?
What do you value most in members of the opposite sex?
What brings you the most joy?
What are you looking for in a relationship? What are your goals?
What do you watch on TV? Who is subscribed to on YouTube? How do you feel about TikTok?
What is your attitude towards loneliness?
Do you have childhood friends with whom you still keep in touch?
What type of personality do you consider yourself: extroverts or introverts?
How do you feel about self-knowledge, meditation, yoga and other practices?
What event are you looking forward to? This could be, for example, a festival, a concert by your favorite band, a friend's birthday, a relative's wedding, etc.

These are just examples of some topics.

You can create your own list based on your own interests and preferences.

For example, if you like Italian cuisine, tell us about the most interesting dishes and ask your interlocutor what his culinary preferences are.

In the company of friends

Silence rarely hangs in a noisy company, but you can still make the meeting even more exciting and exciting. And there are countless topics for friendly conversations.

Here are the random options:

If you were Neo in The Matrix, which pill would you choose: blue or red?
What superpower would you like to have and why?
Would you rather be the richest person or the smartest?
You can discuss some interesting life hacks and suggest trying them.
New gadgets, mobile applications, news from the world of technology.
How do you feel about esotericism, predictions, horoscopes? Have you had any experience with similar practices?
Discussions on adrenaline, extreme sports, climbing, camping, etc.
Attitude towards various conspiracy theories. For example, the world is ruled by aliens, special services, is mass chipping possible, who killed Kennedy, etc.
Do you believe in ghosts, afterlife?
What's the best advice you've ever been given?
What would you spend money on if you won a very large amount?
New movies, bloopers, favorite directors, etc.
Political news.
Cool memes from the Internet.
What do you think about gender equality, feminism and other movements.
Which place of residence would you prefer: city or countryside, coastal resort or mountains, house or apartment, metropolis or province?
Would you agree to explore a new planet in the event of an impending apocalypse?
If you had a time machine, where would you go?
How long could you live without communication and amenities?
What was the first thing you felt and did if you woke up in an unfamiliar place?

Note! One of the most productive ways to spend time with friends is to organize board games. So you will avoid silence, and stretch your brain.

With strangers

In the company of strangers, topics for communication should be chosen carefully so as not to stumble upon subjects of heated disagreement.

Here are the most neutral questions that can be used for conversation:

What do you do, what is your occupation?
Where did you study and why exactly there?
Do you have a hobby?
How do you prefer to relax, spend holidays, relax after a working day?
Where did you spend your childhood, where are you from? How did you get to this city?
You can discuss the most popular classic questions. For example, talk about the weather, nature and housing and communal services problems.
If friends introduced you, ask how long they have known each other and what connects them.

As you ask these questions, always remember to be sure to say the same about yourself.

In a conversation with a stranger, do not touch on “slippery” topics . It is undesirable to talk about religion, personal life, political views, finances, health.

Pay attention to the other person's reaction to certain phrases or topics. So you can understand what he is interested in, and what is better not to talk about. In addition, pay attention to how willingly the stranger communicates and whether you are too intrusive.

It may turn out that you are looking for topics to discuss in vain.

For heartfelt conversation

As a rule, topics for spiritual conversations are found by themselves. The direction will depend on who is in front of you: a close friend or a friend, a loved one, a parent, etc.

The simplest topics will be everyday life, family, relationships with relatives, colleagues, financial issues, health.

If a person is really close, then the range of topics that can be touched upon expands significantly.

You can discuss sex with your partner or spouse. Ask what suits you, what you would like to bring, what fantasies to try to realize.

Here is a list of universal topics that are suitable for heart-to-heart conversations:

Childhood, youthful, student memories. This is an inexhaustible topic, because everyone will find funny, cute, sad, interesting stories from the past in their memory.
Dreams of a person: what he dreamed about in childhood, what he dreams about now.
Friendship: is it possible between a man and a woman, how does the interlocutor look at communication with former partners, etc.
Esoteric, unknown. As a rule, in large companies, rarely does anyone admit that they believe in ghosts or have ever seen something unusual, because no one wants to be ridiculed. But behind a sincere conversation, such secrets are easier to entrust.
Children: attitude towards children, large families, childfree.
Intimate Such issues can be discussed not only between partners, but also between two friends. What is acceptable and what is not. You can share some funny cases from the past. But for this it is necessary that the interlocutor be really congenial and open enough for such topics.

Intimate conversations are best conducted in the evening over a cup of aromatic tea or wine to create a special intimate atmosphere.

List of deep philosophical questions

If you want something more intellectual and serious, you can discuss the following questions:

Are we alone in the Universe?
When will people be free to fly into space? Is it necessary?
What will happen to our planet if all people disappear? How quickly and to what extent will structures, nature, wildlife be changed?
What books have had the greatest impact on modern civilization? If you want to show off your intellect, you can, for example, compare the Bible, the Koran, the Torah and other religious works, or share your opinion about literary classics.
What events of world history were the most striking and significant? You can discuss the great commanders, the overthrow of empires, the conquest of new lands, etc.
Medical novelties, the latest news from the world of pharmacological technologies, medieval and modern methods of treatment.
The theme of immortality. Would you like to live forever, would you agree to cryogenic freezing for 200 years?
If you could choose an era in which to live, what would it be?
What would heaven and hell look like if you invented them?
Is there a destiny? If so, how then freedom of choice?
What is the meaning of life?
Where did self-esteem come from if man evolved from apes?
Will religion as an institution last forever or will it ever become obsolete?
How would the world change if life expectancy increased to 500 years?
How to live life to the fullest?
Do animals have a soul and how does it differ from a human one?
Is poverty inevitable?
Do weapons protect or destroy?
Why are the dead more respected than the living?
How relevant is the institution of marriage and family in the modern world?
If we learn from mistakes, why are we so afraid of them?

Such topics can be discussed in company with friends, in correspondence with a new acquaintance, in the family circle, with a beloved man (woman), even with teenage children.

You can come up with your own questions and google them first, and then show off your knowledge and thoughts in the company.

Married couple

Married life is often engulfed in routine, and over the years it is more and more difficult to find topics for communication that have not yet been ridden.

If, apart from everyday life and children, you have not talked about anything for a long time, here is an approximate list of topical topics and questions that will not only dilute the family evening, but also help you get closer:

What are the most joyful or funny moments in your life (not necessarily joint) can you remember?
Plan your vacation and discuss the necessary details.
Rate how the two of you have changed since you met and why.
What was the most difficult event in your married life for each of you?
What annoys you the most at work?
What brings joy and what brings sorrow?
When did you first feel like an adult?
What details would you change about your own appearance?
How do you see your old age?
What act, from your point of view, was stupid or wrong, do you regret the most?
How did you imagine your life when you were little?
What dreams had to be abandoned and is there a chance to fulfill them now?
What skill would you like to acquire, what to learn?

This is only a modest part of everything that you can discuss with your soulmate. You can easily choose any topic from the section of philosophical questions or for a sincere conversation. Family psychologists also recommend sharing secrets.

You can play a game: one spouse asks any 5 questions, and the second must honestly answer them.

It would also be very good to remember what you talked about in the first days and weeks of your acquaintance. This will help to nostalgic and refresh the senses.

How to be a good conversationalist

In conclusion, here are some generally accepted rules of communication:

If the interlocutor is talking, do not interrupt with questions, let him finish his thought. Perhaps you have found a topic that is interesting for a person and new subjects for discussion will naturally be born from it. The conversation should not be forced. The key to good dialogue is ease.
Call your interlocutor by name. This helps to establish trust and sympathy.
Do not use obscene language, jargon, parasitic words in company with unfamiliar people.
Show respect even if you disagree with something said.
Keep your distance. Not all people like it when someone breaks into their personal space.
Avoid distractions while talking on your smartphone. This is not appropriate.

We also recommend that you check out our other publications:

How to learn to learn
How to learn to control your emotions and feelings
How to keep up a conversation
How to learn to say NO
Where to find motivation and how to motivate yourself: effective methods and pitfalls
How to learn to remember better: mnemonics
How to deal with stress: useful techniques
How to ask the right questions

Conclusion

We have sorted out the best topics for conversation. Use them as a hint, not as a guide to action. It is not necessary, for example, to go on a date with a whole list of the above questions and strive by all means to ask them all.

And to become an interesting interlocutor, you need to read a lot of fiction, news, documentary research, historical and geographical facts, self-development sources, etc. Then there will definitely not be any difficulties and confusion in front of the interlocutor.

We wish you exciting conversations. See you later!

Interesting topics for conversation in any situation

There are people who, when they need to start a conversation on a topic, their mind becomes empty and they don't know what to do or what to say. That's why it's always an idea to find or leave out certain topics of conversation so that you can use them when needed. It could be a meeting of friends, a meeting with a family you haven't seen in a while... the important thing is that you know how to find the right time to be able to bring up those topics of conversation that will come in handy.

Conversation is important for people to communicate and also to get to know each other. Talking is like art, and face to face conversations are the best blank canvas that words can paint.

Index

1 conversation with interest
2 Interesting topics for conversation
3 questions for clarification on the topics of conversation
- 3.1 questions about friendship
- 3.2 Issues about personality
- 3.3 questions about success

interest

Conversations should be about topics that are of interest to both interlocutors, no one wants to talk to someone boring or pedantic. In a conversation, both parties must be able to talk and talk.

To keep the conversation interesting, you will need to think of a topic or questions to start the conversation. Conversation topics must allow anyone to speak. Next, we are going to give you some ideas for topics of conversation and even questions that will help you make the communication you have, in any context and with anyone, enjoyable.

Interesting topics of conversation

Next we are going to suggest a few topics that are unmistakable and will always lead to a good conversation with the person in front of you.

Childhood. Childhood is a topic of conversation that almost never fails, because we all love to remember the past when innocence made us look at life from a different prism. It also lets you know about other people, what they liked, what they played, etc.
Travel Who doesn't love discovering places or has never dreamed of traveling? It can be an interesting conversation about sharing experiences or looking for interesting information about certain things.
Movies, books and music. Talking about movies, books and music, depending on your tastes, is also a great idea. You will be able to find out what the other person's tastes are and if they are related to you.
Pets. If you have pets, this is a good way to start a conversation, because they always bring a spark of affection to the conversation. If the other person doesn't have animals as pets, they might be interested in hearing about your experience, or vice versa!
Gastronomy. Food and drink is also often a good topic of conversation because everyone loves to eat and drink! You will be able to find out what their tastes are or discover something new in this area.
Hobby. A hobby is a book open to the speaker's personality. By talking about hobbies, you can get an idea of the speaker's personality. Maybe you like sports, adventure, playing chess, etc.
news . Talking about current affairs is always a plus, because you will be able to find out what the other person thinks about topics that are most talked about in society.

With conversation topics, you can learn more about what a person is and how they think, as well as explain aspects of themselves or their thoughts. A good conversation needs to be with more than one person, so it's essential that you don't monopolize the conversation or have a dialogue, Talk should go in two directions!

Questions for clarification on topics of conversation

Next, we will give you some ideas so that you have questions in topics of conversation and that in this way it is easier to follow the conversation much more smoothly. Remember that these are only questions on some topics, but obviously you can think of other topics or other questions that adapt to the context and the person in front of you.

Questions about friendship

Friendship is one of the most important components of a fulfilling life. It's definitely hard to put a price on a good friend. Have a friendly conversation using these questions about your friends and friendship in general. .

What quality do you value most in your friends?
Are you a good friend? Why or why not?
What is the best way to meet new friends?
What type of friend annoys you the most?
What separates real friends from acquaintances?
Who is your oldest friend? How did you get to know them?
Who is your strangest friend? What makes them weird?
What are the most common causes of breaking friendships?
Do you make friends easily or do you find it difficult to make new friends?
Are any of your friends the exact opposite of you, or are most of them like you?
What great service did you do to a friend? Did a friend do you a big favor?

Personality Questions

Our personalities are what the outside world uses to judge us, and they greatly influence how we interact with others. So isn't it worth talking about something that has such an impact on our lives?

Can a person change his personality?
What personality traits make a good leader?
What character trait would you like to have?
What character traits do you hate in other people?
Which of your character traits was the most useful?
What trait of a person's character can most irritate?
What do you like most about your personality? How about the worst aspect?
Where did our personalities come from? What part of the personality is genetic and what part is environmental?
What about the personalities of some of your friends and family? What are the good, bad and weird sides of their personalities?
How would you describe your personality? How would other people describe your personality, the same or different?

Success Questions

Everyone has their successes and failures. They make us who we are and are often the lens through which people see us. Use these conversation starters to discuss successes and failures.

Have you ever turned failure into victory?
What was your last success?
What is the best yardstick to measure success?
What is the next big success you are working towards?
Is there a flaw in your life that you are proud of?
What is your biggest success? What about your biggest failure?
What successes did you have in your personal life?
What failures have you had in your professional life?
What is the biggest lesson you have learned from failure?
Do you usually learn from your failures or repeat them?
Who is the most successful person you know?

Of course, these are just examples, but there are countless topics to talk about and you only need to look at interests or context to choose one or the other.

Learn more