Symptoms introvert personality
Signs of an Introvert Personality: Types, Traits & Characteristics
Written by Rachel Reiff Ellis
In this Article
- What Is an Introvert?
- Signs You Might Be an Introvert
- Causes of Introversion
- Types of Introverts
- Introversion Versus Shyness
- Myths About Introverts
What Is an Introvert?
An introvert is a person with qualities of a personality type known as introversion, which means that they feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what’s happening externally. They enjoy spending time with just one or two people, rather than large groups or crowds.
When you hear the word introvert, you might think of someone who's shy or quiet and prefers to be alone. While that may be true for some introverts, there's much more to this personality type. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert all depends on how you process the world around you.
A psychologist named Carl Jung began using the terms introvert and extrovert (sometimes spelled extravert) in the 1920s. These two personality types sort people into how they get or spend their energy. Introverts, Jung said, turn to their own minds to recharge, while extroverts seek out other people for their energy needs.
Signs You Might Be an Introvert
Around one-third to one-half of all people in the U.S. are introverts. Though it looks different in everyone, introverts have many of the same patterns of behavior. In general, introverts:
- Need quiet to concentrate
- Are reflective
- Are self-aware
- Take time making decisions
- Feel comfortable being alone
- Don't like group work
- Prefer to write rather than talk
- Feel tired after being in a crowd
- Have few friendships, but are very close with these friends
- Daydream or use their imaginations to work out a problem
- Retreat into their own mind to rest
One way to find out if you're an introvert is to take a test, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or the SAPA project.
Causes of Introversion
Scientists don't know for sure if there's a cause for introversion or extroversion. What they do know is the brains of the two personality types work a little differently from each other. Researchers have found that introverts have a higher blood flow to their frontal lobe than extroverts do. This part of the brain helps you remember things, solve problems, and plan ahead.
Introvert brains also react differently to dopamine than extrovert brains do. That's a chemical that turns on the reward- and pleasure-seeking part of your brain. Introverts and extroverts have the same amount of the chemical, but extrovert brains get an excited buzz from their reward center. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to just feel run-down by it.
Types of Introverts
Being an introvert isn't an all-or-nothing stamp on your personality. Psychologists think of introverts as falling somewhere on a scale. Some people are more introverted than others. Other people fall right in the middle of the scale. They're called ambiverts.
Introverts usually have a few extroverted traits mixed in with their introverted ones, and vice versa. There are a wide range of ways to be an introvert.
One study shows that introverts tend to fall into one of four subtypes:
Social introverts. This is the "classic" type of introvert. Social introverts like small groups and quiet settings over crowds.
Thinking introverts. People in this group are daydreamers. They spend a lot of time in their thoughts and tend to have creative imaginations.
Anxious introverts. They seek out alone time not just because they like it, but also because they often feel awkward or shy around people.
Restrained/inhibited introverts. These introverts think before they act. They aren't likely to make a decision on a whim. Typically they take longer to take action.
Your introverted ways may change over time, and in different settings, too. You're not likely to swing from introvert to extrovert. But it's possible you could become more or less introverted, depending on what's going on in your life.
Introversion Versus Shyness
Many people think of introverts as shy, but the two aren’t linked. Introversion is a personality type, while shyness is an emotion.
People who are shy tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable when they’re in social situations, especially when they’re around strangers. They may feel so nervous, they become sweaty. Their heart may beat quicker, and they may get a stomachache. They may be inclined to skip social events because they don’t like the negative feelings that take over their thoughts and bodies when they have to go to parties or other activities.
People who are introverted also prefer to skip social events, but it’s because they feel more energized or comfortable doing things on their own or with one or two other people. Introverts don’t choose to skip social events because they have strong negative reactions to larger gatherings the way that shy people do; they just prefer being alone or in very small groups.
Myths About Introverts
One common myth about introverts is that they’re shy. Some introverts may be shy, but this is not the case for all introverts. Other myths include:
- Introverts are unfriendly. Being an introvert doesn’t affect how friendly you may be. Some people may think that introverts are unfriendly because they don’t tend to have large groups of friends, and they may reflect on situations quietly rather than joining in on conversations at gatherings.
- Introverts can’t be leaders. Although people may think of an extroverted personality when they imagine a leader, introverts have the skills to be bosses and leaders, too. Some of their qualities make them effective leaders: They listen to their employees’ ideas, they can stay focused on long-term goals, and they may seem less threatening, so people may accept them in their roles.
- It’s hard to get to know introverts. Introverts prefer to have deep friendships with only a handful of people. They may not open up to everyone who wants to small-talk, but the people they’re close with know them very well and develop real friendships with them.
If You Relate to These 21 Signs, You're an Introvert
Have you always felt different? Were you the quiet one in school? Did people ask you, “Why don’t you talk more?” Do they still ask you that today? If so, you might be an introvert like me. Here are 21 signs from my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts, that will help you find out.
1. Your inner monologue never stops.
You have a distinct inner voice that’s always running in the back of your mind — and it’s hard to shut off. Sometimes you can’t sleep at night because your mind is still going. Thoughts from your past haunt you. “I can’t believe I said that stupid thing… five years ago!”
2. You enjoy spending plenty of time alone.
You have no problem staying home on a Saturday night. In fact, you look forward to it. To you, Netflix and chill really means watching Netflix and relaxing. Or maybe your thing is reading, playing video games, drawing, cooking, writing, knitting tiny hats for cats, or just putzing around the house. Whatever your preferred solo activity is, you do it as much as your schedule allows. You feel good when you’re alone. In your alone time, you’re free.
3. You do your best thinking alone.
Your alone time isn’t just about indulging in your favorite hobbies. It’s about giving your mind time to decompress. When you’re with other people, it might feel like your brain is too overloaded to really work the way it should. In solitude, you’re free to tune into your own inner monologue. You might be more creative and/or have deeper insights when you’re alone.
4. You often feel lonelier in a crowd than when you’re alone.
There’s something about being with a group of people that makes you feel disconnected from yourself. Maybe it’s because it’s hard to hear your inner voice when there’s so much noise around you. Whatever the reason, as an introvert, you crave intimate moments and deep connections — and those usually aren’t found in a crowd.
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5. You feel like you’re faking it when you have to network.
Walking up to strangers and introducing yourself? You’d rather stick tiny needles under your fingernails. But you know there’s value in it, so you might do it anyway — except you feel like a phony the entire time. If you’re anything like me, you had to teach yourself how to do it. In the moment, you have to activate your “public persona.” You say things to yourself like, “Smile, make eye contact, and use your loud-confident voice!” Then, when you’re finished, you feel beat, and you need downtime to recharge. You wonder, do other people have to try this hard when meeting new people?
6. You have no desire to be the center of attention.
At work, you’d rather pull your boss aside after a meeting and have a one-on-one conversation (or email your ideas) than explain them to a room full of people. The exception is when you feel passionate about something. You’ll risk overstimulation when you think speaking up will truly make a difference.
7. You’re better at writing your thoughts than speaking them.
You’d rather text your friend than call her or email your coworkers than sit down for a staff meeting. Writing gives you time to reflect on what to say and how to say it. It allows you to edit your thoughts and craft your message just so. Plus there’s less pressure when you’re typing your words into your phone alone than when you’re saying them to someone in real time. You may even be drawn to writing as a career.
8. Talking on the phone does not sound like a fun way to pass the time.
One of my extroverted friends is always calling me when she’s alone in her car. She figures that although her eyes, hands, and feet are currently occupied, her mouth is not. Plus, there are no people around — how boring! So she reaches for her phone. However, this is not the case for me. When I have a few spare minutes of silence and solitude, I have no desire to fill that time with chitchat.
9. You avoid small talk whenever possible.
When a coworker is walking down the hall toward you, have you ever turned into another room in order to avoid having a “Hey, what’s up?” conversation with him? Or have you ever waited a few minutes in your apartment when you heard your neighbors in the hallway so you didn’t have to chat? If so, you might be an introvert. It’s not that introverts are afraid of making small talk, it’s just that we’d rather not do it.
10. You’ve been told you’re “too intense.”
This stems from your dislike of small talk. If it were up to you, mindless chitchat would be banished and philosophical discussions would be the norm. You’d much rather sit down with someone and discuss the meaning of life — or at the very least, exchange some real, honest thoughts. Meaningful interactions are the introvert’s antidote to social burnout.
11. You don’t go to parties to meet new people.
Sure, you party every once in a while. But when you do, you usually don’t go with the intention of making new friends. You’re content with the few close friendships you already have.
12. You shut down after too much socializing.
Recent research shows that everyone gets drained from socializing eventually, even extroverts. That’s because socializing expends energy. But introverts likely tire faster than extroverts and experience social burnout with more intensity. They may even experience something that’s been dubbed the “introvert hangover,” which is when they feel extremely fatigued and perhaps even physically unwell after lots of socializing.
13. You notice details that others miss.
Introverts (especially highly sensitive introverts) can get overwhelmed by too much stimuli. But there’s an upside to our sensitivity — we notice details that others might miss. For example, you might notice a subtle change in your friend’s demeanor that signals that she’s upset (but oddly, no one else in the room sees it). Or, you might be highly tuned into color, space, and texture, making you an incredible visual artist.
14. You can concentrate for long periods of time.
I can write for hours. I get in the zone, and I just keep going. If you’re an introvert, you likely have your own hobby or pet project that you can work on for practically forever. That’s because introverts are great at focusing alone for long periods of time.
15. You live in your head.
You might daydream so much that people tell you to “get out of your head” or “come back down to earth.” That’s because your inner world is almost as alive and vivid as the outer one.
16. You like to people watch.
Actually, you just like to observe in general, whether it’s people, nature, etc. Introverts are natural observers.
17. You’ve been told you’re a good listener.
You don’t mind giving the stage to someone else for a bit and listening. You’re not clamoring to get every thought out there, and you don’t need to “talk to think” like many extroverts do.
Do ever you struggle to know what to say?
As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist — even if you’re quiet and hate small talk. To learn how, we recommend this online course from our partner Michaela Chung. Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course.
18. You have a small circle of friends.
You’re close with just one, two, or three people, and you consider everyone else to be an acquaintance. That’s because introverts only have so much “people” energy to spend, so we choose our relationships carefully. It’s about budgeting.
19. You don’t get “high” off your environment.
There’s a reason big parties aren’t your thing: Introverts and extroverts differ significantly in how their brains process experiences through “reward” centers. Check out the science here.
20. You’re an old soul.
Introverts tend to observe, take in a lot of information, and think before they speak. We’re analytical and reflective, and we’re often interested in discovering the deeper meaning or underlying pattern behind events. Because of this, introverts can seem wise, even from a young age.
21. You alternate between being social and being alone.
Introverts relish being alone. In our solitude, we have the freedom to tune into our inner voice and tune out the noise of the world. But introverts don’t always want to be alone. As human beings, we’re wired to connect with others, and as introverts, we long to interact meaningfully. So introverts live in two worlds: We visit the world of people, but solitude and the inner world will always be our home.
Are you an introvert? Learn more in my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts.
You might like:
- 25 Illustrations That Perfectly Capture the Joy of Living Alone as an Introvert
- 12 Things Introverts Absolutely Need to Be Happy
- 13 ‘Rules’ for Being Friends With an Introvert
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Who is an introvert and what kind of occupation suits him
An introvert does not like noisy companies and prefers to spend time alone. We tell what kind of personality type it is, what are its advantages and why modern psychologists try not to use this term
Who is an introvert
An introvert is a person who is focused on his inner world. He does not like crowds of people, prefers silence and a calm environment. In solitude, an introvert restores energy, and when communicating with people, it consumes it. This is the collective image of an introvert, although there is no unambiguous interpretation of the term "introvert": scientists from different schools interpret it differently. nine0003
Carl Jung was the first to propose the concepts of "extroversion" and "introversion" in the 1920s. In Psychological Types, he elaborated on how scientists before him tried to distinguish between sociable party-goers and shy stay-at-homes. And then he offered his own interpretation. In his opinion, the difference between them is in the direction of vital energy, libido. For introverts, this energy is directed inward, while for extroverts, it is directed outward. That is, the attention of extroverts is directed to the world around them and other people, while introverts, on the contrary, are immersed in themselves, their fantasies and introspection. nine0003
After Jung, Hans Eysenck took up the study of extraversion and introversion. In his opinion, introversion has several stable features: perseverance, rigidity, subjectivism, modesty, irritability. Introverts are shy, introspective, cold people. They love order, don't follow sudden impulses, and can be relied upon. Eysenck considered the parameter of extraversion/introversion to be one of the most important dimensions of personality, along with neuroticism and psychotism. Deriving his three-factor theory of personality, Eysenck put these three dimensions at the basis. nine0003
In the 1970s, based on the types identified by Jung, the Soviet-Lithuanian researcher Aushra Augustinavichute created her own typology of personality - socionics. According to it, people are divided into 16 types according to 4 parameters. One of these parameters is the introversion-extroversion scale. A similar division exists in the Myers-Briggs system. At the same time, both socionics and the Myers-Briggs system have features of pseudoscience.
The German psychiatrist Karl Leonhard distinguished between extroverts and introverts in terms of their attitude to information. According to his theory, an introvert is a strong-willed person with clear values. Thanks to them, a person is able to resist society and remain true to his point of view and principles. An extrovert according to Leonhard is a conformist. A weak-willed person subject to outside influence. nine0003
According to modern research, each of us has traits of both personality types. Psychologist and cognitive-behavioral psychotherapist Elizaveta Muratova told RBC Trends that modern psychologists prefer to avoid the terms "introvert" and "extrovert". These are too general terms. But there is still a division into personality types in modern psychology:
“In psychological and psychiatric practice, there are many models of personality typology. First of all, we are talking about how healthy a person is. Before typing a personality, you need to understand what state it is in. Even before choosing a typological model, we are talking about health, about the quality of a person,” says Muratova. nine0003
However, the term is still in use, and research into extraversion and introversion continues. For example, in 2011, introverts were divided into four types. This model was proposed by Jonathan Cheek, a psychologist and researcher at Wellesley College (USA). He called his model STAR, after the first letters of the types: social (social), thinking (thinking), anxious (anxious) and restrained (restrained).
Another recent study states that covert narcissists often assume the introvert role. Such people consider themselves hypersensitive, but behind this there is an unhealthy thirst for attention. Recognizing such a person is quite difficult. Covert narcissists appear humble and reserved, but their ultimate goal is to gain admiration and attention from those around them. This is a consequence of neuroticism, not introversion. nine0003
Signs of an introvert
American scientists have formulated a number of signs of a typical introvert:
- dislike for large companies and crowds of people;
- unwillingness to initiate acquaintances;
- the ability to focus attention on 1-3 objects maximum;
- the tendency to delve deeply into the issue under study;
- the need for a clear plan of action;
- small social circle; nine0030
- rich imagination and lively internal dialogue;
- built relationships with oneself;
- intolerance to someone else's bad mood;
- propensity to work alone.
Differences between introverts and extroverts
Tendency to control or impulsiveness
According to Eysenck, the typical extrovert is a cheerful, carefree optimist who aims to make as many acquaintances as possible. Extroverts have impulsive, emotional reactions. Some people have a tendency to be aggressive. An extrovert has poor control over his actions, his focus is constantly shifting. nine0003
The opposite is true for an introvert. Eysenck describes the typical introvert as a calm, shy person. He often engages in introspection. In companies, he behaves aloofly, he shows warm feelings only to close people. Takes a long time to make decisions. It is important for an introvert to plan and think things through in advance. He does not act spontaneously and on emotions. An introvert controls his feelings, it is difficult to piss him off.
Search for positive emotions in different sources
Due to their isolation, introverts are often perceived as sad people who are sad more often than extroverts. Extroverts do experience more positive emotions than introverts. This is confirmed by researchers at the University of Minnesota. But, according to them, extroverts and introverts get these positive emotions from different sources. nine0003
Thus, the true goal of an extrovert is the attention of others. Therefore, he is ready to be more involved in communication. An extrovert doesn’t care what the contact will be, he is interested in the “reward” in the form of attention - this is what is fixed in the brain as positive emotions. And for introverts, the “reward” is expressed as contact. Because of this, introverts need less communication. “Therefore, they talk less, are less enthusiastic, and generally less purposeful,” says Colin DeYoung, a psychologist at the University of Minnesota, commenting on the differences in the brains of introverts and extroverts. nine0003
Why modern psychologists do not use the term "introversion"
In social terms, introversion and extraversion mean human behavior. Sociable people are called extroverts, and secretive and reserved people are called introverts. However, introverted behavior can be caused by various reasons, which means that the label “introvert” itself does not help us understand what is happening to a person and why he behaves in a certain way.
“Pop psychology says that the effect is determined by the cause. For example, if a woman paints her lips with red lipstick, she wants attention. However, in clinical practice, we always look at what task a person implements with such an action. We call someone an introvert, an unsociable, withdrawn person, when we observe a particular behavior. However, there can be many reasons for such behavior.
For example, there is a stereotype that introverts don't like people. In fact, communication can be a difficult or painful process. It can also be so important that it is scary to start it. Communication may be avoided by trauma survivors. These may be people with a low need for communication. They just don't want to interact, they don't see the point in it. An introvert can be mistaken for a person with low communication skills. Most often, we call people introverts or extroverts because of their behavior, but we don't know why. " nine0003
There is an opinion in society that extroverts work better than introverts in a team. But Elizaveta Muratova notes that the point is not in the type of personality, but in the needs of a person. “Almost in every resume you can see a mention of sociability and stress resistance. This is a matter of health, skills, not the type of personality,” says Muratova.
Advantages of introverts
If you continue to use the terms "introverts" and "extroverts", you can find some advantages for the former (despite the stereotype that extroverts are better placed in society). nine0003
The Yale University team says that introverts understand people much better than extroverts. After polling more than a thousand volunteers, experts said that introverts are "born psychologists." Introverts, according to research, may not like interacting with people as much as extroverts, but they will understand them better. Introverts observe and notice minor details. They understand the psychology of others much more clearly than extroverts.
“We see that introverts spend more time observing human nature and reactions than those who are busy socializing. They are also accurate in introspection because they have fewer biases,” said Yale psychologist and study co-author Anton Gollwitzer.
A 2008 study found that introverts take longer to process information than extroverts. However, the author of the book “Introvert Leader. How to succeed in a society dominated by extroverts” Jennifer Kahnweiler says that this is actually due to the thoughtfulness of introverts. nine0003
Economy in spending internal energy
Since introverts communicate less, they use less internal energy. This led scientists from the Canadian University of Calgary to suggest that the stereotypes that open and sociable people are happier than introverts are wrong. Other scientists from Canada and Australia confirm that extraversion comes at a cost of energy and time. Instead of spending these resources on getting and keeping other people's attention, introverts use them to focus and achieve goals. nine0003
Extroverts are more physically at risk than introverts. They are more likely to get into trouble, join a criminal organization, or be arrested. This is written by scientists from North Dakota and Baltimore, USA.
Other advantages of introverts
According to scientists, introverts:
- easily cope with routine, monotonous work, study;
- bring what they started to the end;
- observe discipline and regularity in business; nine0030
- are effectively engaged in self-education;
- analyze well and dive deep into the problem;
- make informed decisions;
- attentively listen to the interlocutor;
- take care of other people and their problems;
- have a high level of insight.
Professions for introverts
Perseverance, patience and an analytical approach to business enable introverts to work in the exact sciences, scientists from Iceland and America believe. An introvert is suitable for a profession that does not require constant communication with people. For example:
- Information security specialist. IT sphere is a godsend for an introvert. All work in the computer, colleagues too. Any problem or inconvenience can also be solved with the help of technology.
- Business analyst. He rarely interacts with colleagues in person. The main tasks are performed on the computer. It is possible to work from home.
- Accountant. Suitable for those who like to work with numbers, and also want to be able to change the scope of work. Accountants are needed both in the restaurant business and in cultural institutions. nine0030
- Software developer. One of the most common remote professions. Freelancers are often hired for this position. Comfortable for an introvert - you don’t need to go to the office with a large number of colleagues, unless you have to connect to online planning meetings.
- Virologist. Science loves concentrated, measured employees. Painstakingly analyzing samples and thoughtfully describing experiments is a calm, routine, but fascinating task for an introvert. nine0029 Editor, proofreader. Monotonous work with text, which requires maximum attention and perseverance, and these are the strengths of an introvert.
- Sound engineer. Instead of communicating with people - recordings of their voices or music. The main thing is not to get a job on the radio, where the presenters speak live around the clock. It will be easier for an introvert if it is possible to pause the voice in the headphones and take a break.
- Video, photo editor. nine0072 Another profession where the employee is alone with the material and tasks. Focus and a slight form of perfectionism are also important here in order to give the perfect shots.
- Restorer. This work calms the introvert. A monotonous long process that would surely piss off a typical extrovert.
- Trucker. Long trips alone with your thoughts are not for everyone. But this profession gives maximum opportunities to think and enjoy loneliness. nine0030
How an introvert can become a leader
Psychologist Elizaveta Muratova notes that personality typing is often used in business practice.
“We type people so that they occupy certain positions. Personal structure during life does not change dramatically, but can be somewhat adjusted. Personality type is how a person sees the world, what is important to him, what he gets physiological pleasure from. There are clearly paranoid people. Their main value is their own safety. They show themselves better in scrupulous work. The basic personal value of a person of the histrionic (hysterical) type is communication and seduction. What we call personality traits are, in fact, skills. When we talk about leadership qualities, we must understand that this is a whole complex of processes. For example, in a narcissistic person, leadership comes from the very structure of the personality. But other types of people are also interested in leadership and are able to exercise it. nine0003
Why introverts can be good leaders
It is believed that people tend to choose self-confident, charismatic people as leaders. But a Yale University team study says that an introvert in crisis situations outperforms an extrovert in a leadership position. The ability to deeply analyze what is happening and reflect after significant events allows the introvert to understand the situation in more detail. A few hours in silence, alone with your thoughts, will allow the introvert leader to understand what is happening and find the most effective solution. nine0003
According to a study by Brigham Young University (Utah, USA), students value tracking deadlines, providing feedback, and coordinating teamwork as leaders. Eloquence and charisma were much less frequently mentioned. “Those who take the time to pause and help others with their tasks are more likely to be seen as leaders,” said study co-author Cody Reeves.
Tips for introverts who want to become leaders
For those introverts who are interested in leadership positions, American scientists recommend:
- Talk more about your ideas, decisions, achievements. Introverts often remain in the background, even when the job is done perfectly. For this type of personality, the result is more important than the amount of attention drawn to the process and the performer. In addition, introverts, as a rule, are not motivated enough, they do not see the global goal in attracting the attention of others.
- To overcome isolation, but not to give up loneliness. Participating more actively in planning meetings and brainstorming sessions, and even going out to lunch with colleagues, can be a good career boost. nine0030
- Get inspired by the goal. Understanding why you need to start a conversation and initiate meetings will help you not to be afraid and act. For example, Cambridge University professor Brian Little began to behave like an extrovert: “I am an introvert, but my main project is teaching. I am a professor and I love my students and my work. I look forward to telling them something new and exciting. And I act like an extrovert, because at eight in the morning students need a little humor, a little collaboration - this way it is much easier to get through a busy school day. nine0030
- Use your strengths. One study says that the best leaders are those who can plan and work ahead of the curve. Introverts have a well-developed awareness, they are ready to listen and empathize, to help solve the problem.
An introverted child: signs and characteristics of upbringing
Together with Daria Kuznetsova, a conflictologist at the “InternetUrok” Home School, we find out how to recognize that a child is an introvert. How to properly build communication so as not to spoil the relationship, but to help. nine0214
Practicing psychologist-conflictologist. She has 12 years of experience working with children with various psychophysiological developmental characteristics.
The inclinations of temperament and personality traits appear at a very early age and become noticeable as soon as the baby acquires the skills of self-expression. The main signs of an introverted child can be fully observed already by the early school age.
Introverts find it more difficult to build social connections, they often keep to themselves and don't talk much. The best solution for parents in this case would not be to break the character of the child, but to create comfortable conditions for his adaptation. Thus, children can receive education and additional knowledge remotely, without hard contact with peers and teachers. nine0003
9 signs of an introverted child
Before thinking about what to do with an introverted child, check whether he is really an introvert. It is important to understand that this feature is not a diagnosis and not a negative personality trait. Outgoing parents may well have a closed baby. This is due to the specifics of the structure and functioning of the brain, genetic predisposition and hormonal properties.
The main personality traits are laid in the period of fetal development, before the birth of a child. Upbringing, environment and socialization correct these properties, but do not change them drastically. nine0003
Takes new things with caution
This manifests itself at a very early age. Introverted kids perceive the first complementary foods with great apprehension, run less, rarely feel cravings for studying parental closets.
Such a child can be safely left alone with toys or a book, he likes to understand the essence of things, and not to observe a large number of them.
Trying to grasp the essence
Reluctance to make quick decisions until you are completely sure of the safety of actions is characteristic of an introvert. He carefully studies the details of mechanisms, subjects, training materials. It is important for him to understand why what surrounds him works the way he does. nine0003
Doesn't talk to strangers
Children and teenagers who are introverts need more time to get used to people. The kid will prefer to be silent, not to look into the eyes and not to contact tactilely with a new person. This behavior is diametrically extroverted, who are happy to make new friends, calmly communicate with unfamiliar adults.
The first week of classes is free!
Start studying, and at the end of the trial period, pay for the chosen format! nine0003
Feels great alone
Many parents are familiar with the problem of excessive thirst for attention from children. Kids want constant communication, require joint games and conversations. This does not apply to introverts. They are comfortable playing alone. Even in the company of peers, they often sit on the sidelines, doing their important children's business.
Quickly tired of noisy companies
After playing on the playground, a day in the garden or at school, the introvert's nervous system needs rest. After active fun, the child may be capricious and cry until he is given the opportunity to be alone with himself. So his nervous system replenishes energy reserves. nine0003
Possesses adult thinking
Reasoning and questions that help to penetrate the essence of the surrounding world are typical for an introvert. Deep reflections and a lively mind are the fruit of the measured mental activity of people with this type of temperament.
Has a bright personality
The psychological characteristic of introverts is reduced to concentration on oneself. Therefore, personal qualities, the desire for self-expression in such children is higher than that of their peers. At a more adult age, they can go headlong into creativity or popular subcultures, in search of ways to transform their “I” into a manifestation visible to the outside world. nine0003
Carefully chooses words
Having mastered the skills of speech, an introverted child tries to build his speech by rationally choosing expressions. He can answer questions in detail, conduct measured conversations. From the side it seems that he almost does not experience emotions, he is always in a calm state. Such children willingly show emotions only in a circle of well-known people.
Rarely asks for help
Introverts are independent individuals. They find it difficult or unwilling to ask for help from loved ones, and even more so from strangers. They like to deal with complex problems on their own. nine0003
In school, introverts can brilliantly solve the most difficult tasks, and flunk the simplest lessons. It is worth treating with understanding this feature of the personality of the child.
Shy people often mistakenly consider themselves introverts and vice versa, introverts believe that the problem is shyness.
It is important to understand that these concepts imply fundamental differences in relation to communication and loneliness. And most importantly, shyness can be overcome, but introversion cannot be completely eradicated. nine0003
Therefore, parents and children should initially determine whether such behavior is an acquired quality or an innate temperament.
There are children who bring home any guests and they are happy about it. These are extroverts. And there are those who can not stand the guests. If necessary, they can go somewhere, but they do not invite them to their place. These are introverts. nine0003
Extroverts energize in a place where there are many people. Loneliness makes them tired. For introverts, the opposite is true. They accumulate energy, being alone, and lose it with a large crowd of people.
Sometimes introversion is viewed through the prism of personality typology. According to her, an introvert in an absolute form is a schizoid type. He is characterized by emotional isolation, stiffness in movements and sound, constant theorization of what is happening. But let's start with the fact that pure introverts do not exist. An admixture of extraversion will show up to a greater or lesser extent. But unfortunately, characteristics that are more suitable for the schizoid type are often attributed to the introvert. nine0003
Meanwhile, if necessary, an introvert can easily talk to whomever he sees fit. And if help is suddenly needed, then he is quite capable of asking for it both close people and an unfamiliar passerby. It can be difficult for an introvert to express himself in public activities, however, we know actors and artists who have this type of personality.
Sometimes in our society the qualities of an autist are also attributed to an introvert. But an introvert communicates quite calmly and evenly with any people, without experiencing significant difficulties. Another issue is that he does not need to communicate with them. He will not start grabbing their hands and dragging them anywhere. It's okay for him to keep his distance. He does not aspire to noisy companies where the loss of energy occurs involuntarily. nine0003
And introversion is by no means an indication that there is a calm temperament. They are different coordinate systems. There are closed children, but if there are no clinical prerequisites, then you should not focus too much on this.
Raising an introverted child
Children with this type of temperament tend to retain both the negative and the positive. They are secretive and reserved. Trusting relationships in the family will help the child open up faster, smooth out the negative aspects of temperament. nine0003
How to raise an introverted child
- Prepare your child in advance for a change of scenery or meeting new people. Discuss the circumstances, tell more about strangers. You can deal with older kids. Kids will have to be occupied with their favorite toys or books, be patient. Otherwise, the child will be capricious or hysterical.
- Pay close attention to his emotional state. Introverts tend to hide it. Parents need to study the behavior of the child and respond to changes. You can invite the baby to talk about what is bothering him. Or indulge in your favorite activities. nine0030
- Leave your child space. An introvert needs to be alone with himself. Ideally, he should have his own room or corner where no one will bother. Time alone will allow him to survive the emotions accumulated during the day, take a break from communication.
- Help to find a common language with people. With such a temperament, it is difficult to build social ties. At first, it may seem to others that the introvert is gloomy, unsociable. In fact, he does not feel negative towards society, it is simply more difficult for him to interact. Parents will need patience and time to teach the child the rules of communication. nine0030
- Don't force your child to talk if he doesn't want to. From an early age, the baby may refuse to speak or will begin to do so later than others. Do not panic, even if relatives hint at developmental disabilities, if the child develops normally in other respects. He will speak when he wants to.
- Be sensitive to your child's needs. Introverts find it hard to get used to new rules and groups. This also applies to education. For a pronounced type of character, you should think about home schooling. nine0030
Without proper attention to the needs for rest from communication and loneliness, an introvert can fall into a stressful or depressive state. It is better to take care of a comfortable environment for such children in advance.
An introverted child does not have such a wide range of communication compared to an extroverted child. In view of this, parents and the teacher will be very significant figures in childhood. Through them, he will build his idea of the world. nine0003
On the one hand, this is a plus. Such children are less likely to fall into bad company, as well as dubious adventures and rendezvous with alcohol and other things.
But on the other hand, if he gets carried away with something undesirable, it will be difficult to get him out of there. This applies, for example, to computer games and excessive interest in gadgets.
One should try to diversify one's life with communication. Organize small outings: theaters, cinemas, restaurants will definitely benefit. He himself will not show such initiatives. But do it together, because he doesn't trust anyone in particular. His social circle is a couple of friends and mom and dad. nine0003
It is good to initiate participation in events where social adaptation is inevitable. For example, buying tickets for tourist trips, pushing to participate in hiking. And although he himself will not rush there, but there he will definitely have a true friend.
Without a doubt, such a child should have a personal space - a room or some special place. Going there, it is better to knock. Don't force your child to talk if he doesn't want to. Be tactful and do not exaggerate its features. nine0003
In fact, we are all a little introverted and all of the above would be nice to apply to any of us.
Things to remember
A calm, thoughtful child is a real godsend for parents, but only at first glance. Adults may face the negative consequences of these characteristics. For example:
- The child does not want to communicate with peers and make friends. Others and some doctors may even see signs of autism in this. In fact, introverts are able to build strong relationships and make great friends. Just don't rush your baby. He needs a little more time for this. nine0030
- Refuses to interact with unfamiliar adults. A standard situation: distant relatives come to visit, and the baby greets them with tears, refuses to even come up, not to mention hugs or gatherings in their arms. With understanding relatives, you can negotiate, invite them to behave with restraint. With those who do not understand, it is better to limit contacts until the baby grows up.
- Not sure of himself. Concentration on oneself often results not only in the development of personal qualities, but also in self-criticism, introspection. The kid needs to be helped to believe in himself, to teach him to adequately perceive criticism or the careless words of others. nine0030
- Does not want to go to holidays and entertainment events. Most children will be happy to visit a children's party, a park or go to the rides. Introverts prefer to stay at home, in silence. There is nothing to be done about this feature. They just like to be in silence and familiar surroundings.
In order to develop harmoniously, it is important for children to feel safe and meet the understanding of relatives. It is strongly not recommended to try to reshape an introvert, to make him fall in love with communication or noisy companies. All parents can do is to accept their child and his personality. nine0003
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If parents are sure that their baby is an introvert and it is difficult for him to be in unfamiliar companies, you should think about the form of education from an early age.
Pre-school education can be abandoned altogether. Initial skills: fine motor skills of hands, reading, counting - easy to master at home in classes with parents. Neat communication with peers is organized through playgrounds and children of family friends of a similar age.
Do not be afraid that in childhood the child will not learn how to build social connections. Communication of very young children is primitive and has little in common with adult contacts. For an introvert child, such a loss will not be significant. nine0003
How to increase motivation
How to motivate a child to study if he does not want to study, does not do his homework and is often distracted? Practical advice for schoolchildren and their parents.
Children receive the main layer of academic knowledge at school. This is the time to broaden your horizons, to search for your area of interest. You can’t refuse secondary education, but for introverts you can find an alternative.
- Home schooling. Classes are taught by parents or tutors according to generally accepted standards. The disadvantages may be the cost and lack of knowledge of the teachers themselves. In addition, at home and in the family circle, it is more difficult to establish a strict schedule of classes. It is necessary for the child to have a clear understanding of the periods of work and rest, to be able to tune in to productive studies. nine0030
- Distance learning. The best option for introverts. Classes are held according to a pre-planned schedule online. They have everything: compliance with educational standards, homework, knowledge testing and grading. The only thing that is excluded is direct contact with peers and teachers. This will greatly facilitate the life of a small introvert. In addition, such education will cost parents much less than hiring tutors.
Home school "InternetUrok" offers classes in all school subjects. Children study in the comfort of their own home. You can fill the gap in contacts with peers with the help of hobby groups, sports sections, etc. Thus, it will be possible to maintain a balance between the student's need for solitude and the need to give him a good education. nine0003
The introvert is already finishing the teenage period of personality development by the time of college.