Suicidal letter to family
An Open Suicide Letter to Myself. By the time you read this I’ll be gone. | by Sid
By the time you read this I’ll be gone.
Photo by nikko macaspac on UnsplashI’ll be nothing more than a fleeting memory that invades your mind in the dead of night- a passive thought you reminisce back on years from now.
Maybe with sorrow
Hopefully with a smile
Don’t worry, I’ll still be here- existing forever within the memories and experiences we once shared.
All of which I’m eternally grateful for.
Grateful to you and the rest of the world for letting me experience.
Some moments of pure bliss filled with laughter that echoed throughout the night as time flew from our grasps.
Others of darkness that seemed to go on endlessly, turning mere seconds into an eternity.
It was in those moments that I found life.
A constant reminder that I still existed.
But it’s becoming too much for me now.
Those nights full of despair became days, then months, and slowly years. The same despair that served as a reminder that I was alive now taunts me with life.
It sounds like I’m being ungrateful.
Just a whiny little bitch complaining about something so minute compared to all the other problems of the world.
I guess I am.
How can my sadness stack up against the harsh realities of life elsewhere- where people are being slaughtered endlessly, dying of disease and famine.
No homes.
No family.
I have no right to complain.
I guess I’m just not as strong as you are.
It’s said only the strongest, most adaptable survive.
So it’s only fitting that you live to carry on this legacy.
I hope one day you forgive me for being such a burden.
For running away from all the mistakes I’ve made, problems I created- leaving you to take care of them.
It’s very selfish of me.
But I know you’ll be able to handle it.
You’re stronger than I ever was.
Strong enough to shoulder the weight of the world
And keep moving forward.
By the time you finish reading this I’ll be gone, but you’ll still be here.
You’ll still have a chance to create the life you want to live.
I know it’s asking for a lot but I have a final wish.
I wish you keep living for both of us.
I wish you continue this life and don’t succumb to the circumstances of it.
Love and give infinitely.
Experience all there is to.
Chase after your dreams and wishes.
Live a fulfilling life for the both of us.
Live.
Every second we’re alive, we have the chance to recreate ourselves.
From the second our eyes open and witness the sun radiating above us, we’re given a new opportunity to live the life we want to- to become the person we wish to be.
We can shed off our old skin and become shells of our former selves.
It’ll be hard.
But you’re strong.
Kill the part of yourself that you despise.
Let the part of you that wants to thrive be born.
Do this everyday till your former self is nothing but a memory you reminisce back on with gratitude for helping you become a better version of yourself.
Mom and Dad, I’m thinking about suicide
Dear Mom and Dad:
This is a hard letter to write. You’re always so proud of what I do and you have such high hopes for me that I feel like I’m letting you down. But I can’t take this anymore. I have to tell you the truth.
I don’t want to live any more. I want it to stop. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again.
I’m sorry, because I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I have trouble falling asleep at night because I’m thinking about it. I don’t want to get up in the morning and I don’t want to go to school. I hate being there and all I keep thinking about is what I can to to make it so I wouldn’t have to go anymore. I don’t want to go to practice after school, either.
I want to stop hurting. I keep thinking about how I should do it. I’ve been reading stuff online for ideas because I don’t want it to hurt.
I love you and I don’t want to hurt you, and I worry about what my dying would do to my sister.
She’s a good kid and I don’t want to mess her up. And I love the dogs and don’t want to leave them behind, but I don’t see another option.
You keep talking about how much fun I should be having, and how I should be looking forward to college, and how great that will be, and what I need to do to apply and get a scholarship and how maybe I should be trying harder in my classes and … I don’t care about any of that. I don’t want to live long enough to go to college. I’d be happy if I could make all of this go away.
We have a good family and a nice house and I have nice things so it’s nothing like that. It’s just like there’s nothing inside of me. I feel empty. If I feel anything at all, I feel bad. I dread every day. I try to cheer up, I try to be positive, but I can’t. I don’t know if you can understand that.
I want to be happy. I want to feel better. But I don’t think I can. And I don’t know what I want to do. I wish you’d notice just how upset I really am. I wish you could see how fake my smiles are.
I wish you could take me to someone who could help me or even ask me how I’m really doing and not just ignore me when I say “fine.” And when I try to hint, you tell me how privileged I am, that I should just start practicing gratitude and that I have nothing to be sad about. It makes me feel worse really.
Maybe I don’t want to die. But it feels like I do because I no way of getting help. I’m so confused and so overwhelmed. I just want to know what I should do. I love you and I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know what to do…
—
Parents, we urge you to listen. To take every cry for help seriously And to call when you aren’t sure what else to do. Help is available. It’s not worth taking a chance. Tomorrow needs you and your son or daughter.
If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call 911 immediately. If you are in crisis or are experiencing difficult or suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) or text to 741-741, and you’ll be connected to a free, trained crisis counselor, or contact us, and we’ll help.
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Questions to a psychologist
Ask a psychologist a question Author: .
12/24/2022 19:19
.
I want to die
I don't see the point in life
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Answer: Service Consultant
12/25/2022 17:55
Hello!
Life has lost all meaning. For these reasons, suicidal thoughts arise.
Your appeal, despite its brevity, speaks of mental suffering, experiences. You may be in pain and hurt right now.
Unfortunately, what exactly happened or is happening in your life, what are the reasons that make you think in a negative way, I don't know, but I "hear" that you now need help and support. What also says your appeal to our site. And I fully support you in your seeking help. nine0005
So it happens that a person can feel the meaninglessness of life in crisis periods of life, which, in turn, can cause mental suffering and lead to the emergence of negative thoughts. And at such moments it is very important that there is someone nearby who will listen, support, to whom you can express your feelings, with whom you can jointly discover resources and find support in life.
If there is no such person near you, ask for help by calling our service +7 (495) 989-50-50 or any available helpline in your region. You will be able to discuss your situation with a specialist, get psychological support, talk about what is currently valuable to you. Values are the deep guidelines of each person, knowing them, it will be much easier for us to develop and fill life with new meanings. nine0005
Now you need to look at yourself and life from different angles. Try to hear yourself, understand your feelings, desires, evaluate your strengths, opportunities, think about what you could bring new things into your life, perhaps change something radically. Making decisions, acting, you can significantly change the quality of your present and future, improve your own condition.
And remember: questions about the meaning of life, the meaning of our own existence will always be addressed to ourselves. The world asks us these questions. And our job is to respond to them with our actions, making decisions, choosing a certain strategy of behavior in a given situation.
Life always asks us some question. Our job is to answer correctly. Correct action - unselfish, purposeful, skillful, inventive - this is the answer to the question about the meaning of life and the meaning of one's own being. This is one way to find them and turn all obstacles into opportunities. nine0005
Sincerely, Service Advisor.
Author: Evgenia
24.12.2022 16:37
Live NOW
I don’t want to live very hard, I can decide to do not
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: Service consultant 9000 9000 25.12.202222 18:37
Hello, Evgenia!
Your appeal, despite its brevity, speaks of mental suffering. Perhaps now you are in a lot of pain, feel bad, do not see a way out of this situation and do not know how to solve the problem you are facing. nine0005
What exactly happened or is happening in your life, what are the reasons that make you think in a negative way, I don't know. I can only assume on the topic of the appeal that this is due to a conflict situation that arose between you and a person close to you.
Evgenia, I "hear" that you now need help and support. What also says your appeal to our site.
Sometimes it is very difficult for a person to find the strength and resources to cope with the ongoing difficulties in his life, to find ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts. A psychologist can help you with this. You contacted our service and took the first step. It is important not to stop there and find an opportunity to talk with a psychologist in a dialogue format. So there will be more opportunities to understand, for example, the causes of the conflict, consider possible solutions, outline ways out of a difficult situation, talk about what worries you, share feelings and experiences that fill you, clarify your situation and find answers to exciting questions. They will listen to you and provide possible assistance and support. You can apply by calling our service +7 (495) 989-50-50 or any available hotline in your region. Don't put off your call!
And remember, Eugenia, that in any situation, even if it seems hopeless from the very beginning, a solution can be found.
The main thing is not to give in to despair and other suddenly surging feelings that can destroy life.
Sincerely, Service Advisor.
Author: Ekaterina
24.12.2022 04:20
I am 23 years old I am depressed, constantly depressed and constantly
I am 23 years old and I am depressed, constantly depressed and constantly wanting to cry
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Answers: Service Consultant
12/24/2022 11:48
Hello, Ekaterina. The state of depression requires attention. What kind of attention do you give to yourself most often - is it attention to the state of sadness, sadness, apathy, or is this attention directed towards finding ways out of depression? You may have heard the phrase: "Where our attention is, there is energy." Where do you think life energy goes when your attention is directed towards self-pity? Are you ready to change your focus? If yes, then find an opportunity to seek in-person help from a psychologist (video consultation, as an alternative), and while you are looking for such a specialist, start studying David Hawkins' book "Letting go of uncomfortable feelings" (available online, audio).
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Best regards, Irina.
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Questions to the psychologist - Psychological service
Hello, Julia. You always felt like an insecure person, after giving birth this state increased significantly. Gaining weight causes self-loathing, shame, and irritability. You say: “I never loved myself anyway, but with a lot of weight gain, it’s just doubly so.” It turns out that now the state of dislike = the state of self-hatred has increased, there is more shame and anger towards oneself too. And even your husband's compliments about your attractiveness do not cause peace, they only increase the distrust between you. But you really believe in the words of your mother. It is her phrases: “You don’t have to be thin, you’re fat, you have a nose with potatoes ...”, they settled in your head, and do not allow you to create your own idea of \u200b\u200bherself. In order to unload this program and download a new one, where there is self-acceptance, a dialogue is needed, work with a psychologist in person, or via video communication.
How can you help yourself now? nine0005
Yulia, you wrote that you are often not in the mood, because of this you began to quarrel with your spouse. I suggest that you analyze your destructive thoughts and behaviors that create or increase the state of insecurity, shame and bad mood. To do this, answer the question in writing: “What am I doing or not doing, what am I thinking or not thinking about in order to feel (state)?” Analyze the answers that come, write down what should be done differently, which thoughts should be blocked, and which, on the contrary, should be activated in order to feel confident, calm, accept yourself? nine0005
From what you wrote, it seems that you tend to avoid going out. This decision is connected with thoughts and his badness. What do you think, the more you think about your imperfection, the better or worse you feel, the less or more shame, anxiety, etc. become? The more often you avoid going out, the better or worse your mood?
It seems that you tend to complain about your condition, to speak out loud about your badness.
Does talking about it improve your condition or, on the contrary, worsen it? Metaphorically speaking, it is like a gardener watering his favorite bush in the garden. And the more often he waters it, the stronger the bush grows. Change these habitual strategies of mind and behavior to start feeling different. nine0005
You say that you are ashamed of yourself, because of this you avoid intimacy with your husband, but at the same time you pounce on food. Food is a metaphor for sex, pleasure. So, it makes sense to think about what ways to enjoy life, besides food. Now you have a difficult relationship with food, write: “I can’t close my mouth and stop eating, I don’t know what to do.” It is important to recognize what feelings you are eating and work through them. You can start keeping a diary in which, before you start eating, write down your feelings and thoughts. This will allow you to identify what is worth working with later. At the level of action, make it a rule - eat whatever you want three times a day, without restrictions, drink only warm water in snacks.
