How to deal with an introvert in a relationship

10 ways to cope with introverted partner

Introverts are oftentimes a set of misunderstood human beings. They hardly socialise; they are quiet and shy; being around many people and talking for long hours tend to drain their energy; they are always self-conscious of their words and actions; they enjoy being alone and are mostly drawn to jobs that require some level of independence.

Introverts are said to make up around 40 per cent of the global population and because they can be quiet and reserved, it can be difficult to assume their next line of action. Sometimes, they may be perceived as being rude.

On the other hand, extroverts are the complete opposite of introverts. Whereas extroverts are social creatures, introverts are most certainly not. Extroverts may love small talk, but introverts hate it.

Interestingly, introverts and extroverts seem to be drawn to each other, which is why it is common to see an introvert dating or married to an extrovert.

However, because of the way introverts are wired, they can be sometimes difficult to understand, especially by extreme extroverted partners. This is why it is important to note the following tips on how to cope with them.

Accept your introvert partner for who they are

A life and relationship coach at The Relationship Firm, Texas, United States of America, Stephanie McKenzie, said the most important tip for coping with an introvert was to accept them for who they were.

“Accepting an introvert for who they are is the key to making everything work. An introvert may not be the life of the party, a social butterfly or an amazing group conversationalist.

“However, they might be extremely polite, quietly amused in social situations and very intuitive in your post-social, private time. In other words, see your introvert spouse for who he or she is and value the good,” McKenzie wrote on Glamour.com.

Acknowledge your differences from the start

Knowing key personality differences helps couples to be more aware of their partner’s feelings and expectations, psychologist Ashley Papa wrote on Business Insider.

After the acknowledgement of differences, he suggested not pushing too hard or trying to change one’s introverted partner.

“It doesn’t matter who is the introvert or extrovert in the relationship, you can’t change them,” she said, adding that balance and understanding were the most important factors to make the relationship work.

Also, a marriage counsellor based in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Mrs Ebiere Clarkson, advised introverts’ partners not to have “undue” expectations in the marriage.

She said, for instance, it would be wrong for a spouse to compare their introverted partner to a friend who has an extroverted partner.

She said, “Comparison kills marriage. A partner should not compare their introverted spouse to someone else. Accept them for who they are and seek ways to achieve their potential. Introverts have areas they excel in and they have their own ways of having fun. You must respect their boundaries and support them in their adventures. They will reciprocate your gesture. ”

Let them be if they need to be left alone

A relationship coach and university administrator at the Campaign-Urbana, Illinois, USA, Alisha Kirchoff, said introverts usually wanted to be left alone sometimes and advised their spouses to let them be when they needed such moments.

“They might just need to recharge when they are socially exhausted. They will come around when they are no longer socially exhausted,” she said.

Also, a marriage and family therapist in New York, Rev Christopher Smith, advised introverts’ partners not to take it personally when their spouses wanted to be left alone.

“Understand that being an introvert is about where your loved one draws their energy and strength. They can be a real people-person and still need time to themselves to retreat and recharge,” he said.

Stay close to them at parties

Author and speaker, Bill Corbett, said, “Groups of people, especially large ones, drain the energy from an introvert. If you must attend an event with lots of people with your introverted spouse, keep it brief.

“And after the experience of the gathering or party, be ready for your date to want to end the night. If you can be together at home or in a quiet environment, your introvert will thank you.

“Hanging out and not talking is the holy grail for introverts.”

In addition, at parties, spouses are advised to be thoughtful about how they introduce their introverted spouse to friends.

A counsellor based in the US, Lindsay King-Miller, wrote in Cosmopolitan, “If you are dating (or married) someone who values deep, intimate connections but is stressed out by short, casual interactions with lots of people, don’t throw a huge party as a way of introducing your love to your work, university and club colleagues all at once.

“Your introvert partner is not going to adore every single person in your life, so prioritise. Decide who your sweetheart really needs to get along with and work to nurture the most important relationships. ”

Check in on them and encourage them

According to a marriage counsellor based in Lagos State, Mrs Bimbo Adepeju, the fact that one’s partner is an introvert does not mean they don’t appreciate affection. Like in every successful marriage, communication is very key and it isn’t something one does once in a while because one’s partner is an introvert.

Adepeju said, “Abandoning your introverted sweetie in a situation outside their comfort zone is never good. Pay attention to their needs and always check in on them. Check in often to ask how they are doing. Introverts appreciate it when you take the time to notice what they are silently communicating to you.”

Also, a professor of psychology at the California State University, US, Rose Hanna, said introverts should not be left alone because they loved being alone.

“Check in on them; comment on their dressing; gift them something; they would appreciate it. Increasing your ability to be emotionally expressive will speak to the heart of an introvert,” she said.

Another relationship expert based in Lagos State, Mrs Omosolape Oladapo, said introverts were usually loveable people and should be loved.

She also advised on encouraging introverted partners to open up on issues in marriage, as sometimes introverts could be battling with issues without telling anyone about it.

She said, “Introverts are loving because I have one as a husband. They tend to keep a lot of issues secret but their partner should encourage them to always open up. They have an insane amount of energy to harbour things and solve issues on their own but they still need help.

“If as an extrovert you have an introverted spouse, which is common, you must encourage them to open up. Introverts are amazing people but they can be misunderstood if care is not taken. Some people can even tag them as being proud because of their dispositions. All it needs is to study them.”

Allow processing time

A family therapist based in the US, Mrs Joanne Jarrett, wrote on introvertdear. com that after asking one’s introverted partner how they feel or what they think, one should give them some time for internal processing.

“While you may process outwardly with words, they tend to process internally without words, and then they’ll need to translate for you, which takes time and effort. From a personal experience, this drives my husband crazy. But he knows me, so he waits, and I love him, so I work hard to produce the words he needs,” she said.

In addition, Jarrett advised allowing introverts “time in their own head.” “Introverts thrive on deep connections, so after a big party or a day of superficial interaction (like errands or meetings), introverts need a break from engagement. Give them some time without eye contact and conversation. They might not need to be alone, they just need to be disengaged,” she said.

Do shoulder-to-shoulder activities

According to Jarrett, if you need to spend time with your introvert (your needs matter, too!) and they seem to need disengagement, do something “together” that doesn’t require face-to-face engagement, like putting together a jigsaw puzzle or cooking a meal.

“There’s no set of responses that will work for every introvert in your life. After all, people aren’t boxes. But I hope you’ve found something here that will smooth your interactions with the introverts in your life. I’d love to hear your suggestions or hear which of mine resonated most with you,” she said.

“It is normal and okay for your introvert to want to read, play solo games, take walks alone, and do other solitary activities. This doesn’t necessarily mean they are depressed or lonely. They enjoy and need solitude. And hearing things like ‘you don’t ever spend time with friends,’ can sound like criticism or disapproval instead of concern,” she added.

It’s okay to have separate social spheres

Dr Paul-Roy Taylor and Dr Trishanna Sookdeo of Choosing Therapy, a mental health-focused organisation based in New York, said having separate social spheres was generally healthy in relationships, particularly in an introvert-extrovert relationship.

They wrote, “As couples, we often have to make compromises, but I always say don’t make compromises you can’t live with and don’t make compromises you don’t even need to make. That definitely applies to your social lives. Introverts won’t like some of your friends. That’s okay. You won’t like some of theirs, either.

“Having separate social spheres is generally healthy in relationships anyway. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and your friends doing something fun and extroverted on a Saturday night, and your partner and her friends doing something introverted – or even your partner just deciding to stay home while you go out. When relationships are solid and each partner understands the other, these types of arrangements aren’t seen as threatening or a sign that there’s a problem in the relationship.”

Don’t try to impress them

According to Taylor and Sookdeo, introverts don’t like braggarts and showoffs, and they will spot efforts to impress them with superficiality from a mile away.

“They’ll be more interested in what makes you unique. Tell them what’s on your mind and not what’s in your summer home,” they said.

“Introverts don’t like unnecessary drama. If high dudgeon and drama were your way of showing love and investment in prior relationships, that’s just not how introverts do it. Boundaries, assertiveness, and healthy conflict resolution: These are music to an introvert’s ears. This might be one of those ways dating an introvert can help you grow,” they added.

Show you’re invested in them

Introverts have a habit of being self-sufficient in many ways. They may have developed skills to manage difficult feelings and emotions on their own, and you may wonder why they don’t immediately open up to you when they have a problem or a bad day.

“Introverts are better at asking questions rather than answering questions sometimes, so you might need to be more inquisitive at first and show them you’re invested,” Taylor and Sookdeo said.

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13 Brilliant Tips to Make your Introvert Relationship Successful

Relationship Guide

Jun 10

Written By Yadirichi Oyibo

Photo by Good Faces on Unsplash

Are you thinking that being in a relationship is hard? Even so, that being quiet in a relationship comes with many disadvantages? If you’re wondering how to make your introvert relationship work, or better still, how to be in a relationship with an introvert, then we’re here to help. We’ll provide outstanding tips to ensure you can understand your partner even better.

Many people believe that the introvert personality and relationships don’t work well together. However, there are many benefits to being a quiet lover or having one. This article is beneficial to both introverts and extroverts who have quiet partners. Therefore, if you’re looking for secret tips to make your introvert relationship successful, below are thirteen amazing ones.

13 Tips for Being in a Relationship with an Introvert

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Understand the introvert personality.

Surprisingly, most people don’t understand the introvert personality and want to have introvert relationships. For some non-introverts, they might still believe that being too quiet is a problem that needs to be fixed. The extrovert in an introvert relationship might then make it a priority to bring their partner out of their shells.

Understanding the psychology behind the introvert personality is the first step to having a successful introvert relationship. It removes the unnecessary pressure you might put on yourself to measure up (if you’re an introvert) and ensures you don’t force your partner to be different (if you’re an extrovert).

It’s important to understand that there’s a big difference between being shy and introverted. Quiet folks are sensitive to external stimuli because of how noisy their internal workings are. They tend to prefer calmer atmospheres to sort out their thoughts and feelings. Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that a quiet person can’t be entertaining.

They can come out of their shells when they’re in the right environments. Allowing them to express their quiet disposition will go a long way in making them comfortable and more playful around you. However, if your partner is a shy introvert, helping them to work on their social anxiety will make a big difference.

2.

Learn about your partner distinctively.

Most introvert relationship problems stir up when partners make overgeneralizations of the introverted personality. Most people tend to presume that all introverts are the same and should have similar preferences. On the contrary, all introverts are different, likewise, all introverted relationships.

Your partner might be more introverted than some quiet folks, or even less introverted - which makes it crucial to understand them distinctively. More so, their background and individual identities will cause their likes, dislikes, and behaviors in certain situations to be different. If you expect your partner to act in a certain way without prioritizing their respective needs, you’ll have issues.

Ensure you find out what makes your partner unique, which includes what motivates them or tires them out. The more you learn about your partner is the more you can make your introvert relationship more well-suited. You won’t make vague assumptions but will curtail your actions to suit your partner respectively.

Even though your partner might not be interested in what most quiet people enjoy - for example, reading books, or taking a walk at the park, know that everyone is peculiar. Therefore, ensure you discover what makes your partner happy and try to incorporate it.

3. Make them comfortable.

One of the most crucial tips to incorporate if you want your introvert relationship to be successful is to make your partner comfortable. The quiet personality is withdrawn and needs a great amount of comfort to unleash itself. According to research, the more conducive an environment is, the less stimulated a calm person will feel.

If they're in touch with their hidden traits, they can easily express themselves to you. Therefore, the topic of comfortability cannot be ruled out. If an introvert's environment is too clamorous, they’ll have a hard time connecting with themselves and sorting out their thoughts. If they’re frequently disconnected, you can’t enjoy the benefits of being with them.

It’s necessary for introverts in relationships to have the maximum solace around their partners. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should be quiet around them all the time. It involves doing whatever would make them at ease. Surprisingly, these activities tend to vary from one quiet person to another.

For some introverts, talking helps them become more relaxed around their partners. For others, it can involve going to their favorite locations or eating their favorite meals. Knowing what your introvert relationship needs per time will always be a lifesaver.

4. Allow them to recharge.

Is your partner suddenly quiet and you don’t know what’s wrong? In some cases, it can be due to overstimulation. Perhaps, they had a long day and need a certain amount of solitude to regain themselves.

Related: Am I Too Quiet? P.S. No, You’re Not. A How-To Guide to Using Your Introversion to Your Advantage

Constantly assuming that there’s something wrong with them, or that they have a problem can easily put them off. Understand that they might desperately need some alone time to process their thoughts. Ensuring they recharge maximally is the best support you can give your partner at this point.

It’s necessary to understand that this process is common for every introvert in relationships. Knowing how to handle this situation is paramount. If your partner tends to recharge faster with your assistance, then don’t hesitate to help out. They might need you to make casual conversations with them or try to lighten their moods.

In other cases, they might need mere silence. Irrespective of what your partner prefers, you shouldn’t abandon or neglect them totally. Showing that you’re present and attentive to their needs will communicate more than you can imagine in an introvert relationship. The introvert in relationship will appreciate your effort even if you don’t utter a word.

5. Spend quality time with them.

One interesting fact about introverts is that they love spending time with the people they care about. Every introvert in a relationship is detail-oriented, and the best way they can bond with their partner is through little activities. Therefore, find time for your partner if you want to make your introvert relationship work.

For the introvert-extrovert relationship, the extrovert must realize that the little things matter. Acting in a carefully thought-out way is more crucial than pacifying your interests. You may prefer to associate on a bigger scale, but an introvert in relationship with extrovert will always be more concerned about connecting with you intimately.

Due to how internally-wired introverts are, they require partners that can penetrate their quiet minds. This process can only be possible by spending quality time together. Understand that merely being together doesn’t count, but you have to do activities that can stimulate your introverted partner’s mind.

If you want your relationship with introvert to succeed, you need to study your partner to find out what triggers their attention to build a stronger bond between the both of you.

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6. Be curious.

Popular notions claims that a relationship with an introvert is somewhat tedious because of how withdrawn their temperaments are. A majority of people also say that finding out what an introvert is thinking is a cumbersome task. While these claims might seem true, the best way to handle these issues is by staying curious.

Most introverts’ relationships require someone willing to pull their quiet lover from their internal states and make them more willing to open up. Leaving the work to the introvert might be unprofitable because they’ll always stick to their quiet tendencies. However, if you’re constantly motivated to find out about their interests, they’ll naturally come out of their shells.

Being curious doesn’t suggest constantly asking your quiet partner what’s wrong with them. It involves being observative in your introvert relationship. Paying attention to your partner’s temperaments will help you understand them more. More so, it will guarantee that you can truly bring out the best in your romantic association.

If you’re more outgoing than your partner, then it might be easier for you to be inquisitive and find out what your association needs. However, if you’re also an introvert like your partner, leaving your comfort zone to be curious is highly essential.

7. Be their energy source.

Not all introvert lovers want to remain indoors and be homebodies with their partners. They also desire to go on adventures just as much as extroverts do. After retreating to solitude for a long time, most quiet folks seek out exhilaration to trigger their minds. They may not be able to cope for long periods as much as outgoing folks, but they nonetheless desire it.

If you’re wondering how to deal with an introverted boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to learn how to be their energy source. Be the reason they smile and have an opportunity to go on adventures. If they’re feeling less motivated, you should know how to cheer them up. If you observe that they need a bit of excitement in their lives, find out what can ignite their quiet energy.

In every introvert vs extrovert relationship, your preferences don’t have to match before things can work. If both partners are pacifying each other’s interests, things will flow naturally. Understand that your partner shouldn’t have an external party or friend that makes them more excited than you do. Else, you lose the essence and beauty of being with them.

Instead, do everything you can to be the reason your partner is happy in your introvert relationship. Even though they might enjoy their comfort zone more than anything else, find comfortable ways to pacify their need for adventure, and you’d be surprised at the outcome.

8. Align with their dreams and ambitions.

If you’re an extrovert in an introvert relationship, your ambitions may not align with your partner’s own, and that’s fine. Having similar preferences doesn’t necessarily guarantee a successful romantic association. The best way to get an introvert woman in love with you is to personalize her dreams as though they were yours.

This process is similar for an introvert man as well. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing your partner is interested in your hobbies despite having an opposite personality. It’s a genuine way of showing that you care about them, and willing to go the extra mile to see them happy.

Therefore, if you’re saying, “My boyfriend is an extreme introvert!” the best way to get him more comfortable and open around you is to accustom yourself to his interests. This process will build a tight-knit bond between the both of you and help him come out of his shell.

Related: 16 Perfect Secrets You Didn’t Know About Extreme Introverts

Scaling up your introvert relationship demands being able to go out of your comfort zone, even if you’re the quiet partner. Showing your partner that you care about their ambitions will surely work wonders.

9. Practice open communication.

When introverts and extroverts fall in love, one of the major challenges in their romantic association is communication. However, if you can learn to deal with methods of interaction, you can have a blissful association. For starters, it’s crucial to realize that quiet people and outgoing folks don’t communicate the same way.

While one might say things from the top of their mind, the other would prefer to process every piece of information before speaking. This process can lead to multiple assumptions in the association, which, in itself, is a relationship-killer. Therefore, understanding how your quiet lover thinks and interacts is crucial to safeguarding your introvert relationship.

Imbibing open communication is also mandatory in every introvert relationship. Your quiet partner might not always feel comfortable opening up to you, but it’s necessary. Therefore, you have to work on making them thoroughly at ease about bringing up issues. The manner you handle challenges will also determine how safe an introvert feels confiding in you.

Learn to use words of affirmation to give room for your quiet lover to entrust you with their feelings. The more you take responsibility for their emotions, the more they’ll openly communicate with you.

10. Observe cues and body language.

Understanding introverts in a relationship goes beyond listening to what they have to say. You have to observe their body language because communication would always be a challenge for introverts. Even if you’ve established clear interaction in your romantic association, there will be times when your introvert partner doesn’t feel too secure about opening up.

Neglecting their needs during their silence will certainly lead to problems in the association. Even if both parties are introverted, one must be confident enough to speak up. What an introvert needs in a relationship is an attentive partner that can deal with their withdrawn tendencies. Once you prioritize this factor, you’ll be surprised at how free they’ll become.

Many introverts soon become talkative in their relationships based on how comfortable their partner makes them feel. The more their needs are attended to without saying too much, the more they’ll want to express themselves to you. Therefore, the secret to making your romantic association is to build intimacy by observing certain cues your partner makes.

11. Keep the relationship tight-knit.

The most essential tip to imbibe in your introvert relationship is keeping things tight-knit. Understand that the dynamics of an extrovert-introvert relationship or even an introverted romantic association is different from the rest. Therefore, try not to involve others. They might not understand the chemistry you and your partner have, and might simply ruin it.

It’s reasonable to seek advice, but try not to compare your association with others. More so, ensure you keep certain details hidden. The reason for this act is to avoid the pressure from others to make your relationship like everyone else’s. The more you work on your issues internally, the more likely you’ll find a suitable solution.

An extrovert woman or man might naturally tell others about their romantic associations. This behavior is inclined to happen if they have other close friends apart from their partners. If this action is unavoidable, avoid situations where your friends make comparisons and persuade you to try activities that your introvert partner would not like.

12. Take things slowly.

The taking things slow meaning refers to gradually progressing a romantic association both physically and emotionally. Introverts are highly detailed and prefer to process things through before acting. Therefore, rushing the introvert in relationship would only be catastrophic. You might end up dissuading them from continuing the association.

The best way to handle the dynamics of an introvert and relationship is to allow things to progress naturally. This process is necessary because introverts take their time to get comfortable in situations. If you want to see the beauty of your quiet lover’s hidden personality, you have to focus on the quality of your introvert relationship.

If your introvert girlfriend or boyfriend sees that your intentions are genuine and that you thoroughly care about their interests, they’ll make sure things work out. Therefore, the initial focus should always be on building trust and rapport with your partner.

13. Find a common language.

Another essential secret to building a successful introvert relationship is to create a brand new friendship with your partner. Even though the both of you were friends before, focus on the new dimensions of your association and create something new. The expectations from a partner would always be different from that of a former friend.

It’s also necessary to embrace whatever works for the both of you. You don’t need to change your personality before you can have an introvert relationship. Instead, find common hobbies and relationship patterns that are distinct to both of you, but don’t expect to do everything together.

Building a common language means embracing your quiet side if you’re an extrovert, or being a little more bubbly for your partner, for the introverted girlfriends or boyfriends. Overall, you don’t have to change your natural disposition to do this but meet somewhere in the middle when with your partner. What introverts need in a relationships is someone willing to compromise for them. — likewise, extroverts.

FAQs

Do introverts fall in love easily?

Introverts take their time before venturing into activities. But, do introverts fall in love? Yes, like individuals with other personalities, they do. The topic of whether they fall easily varies from person to person. So, how do introverts fall in love? This process is subjective to the introvert involved.

Who is the best partner for an introvert?

Most introverts tend to do well with both introverts and extroverts. Therefore, a relationship between introverts, an introvert and extrovert, or even an introvert long-distance relationship can work. The primary focus is on whoever makes the introvert happy, and is understanding.

Do introverts have trouble with relationships?

It depends. If the introvert’s partner isn’t understanding enough, they might encounter challenges. It’s also possible for an introvert narcissist relationship to occur based on their quiet disposition. Some introvert relationship advice would be to date someone that can truly accommodate their personality type.

What do introverted boyfriends do?

If you’re wondering, “What is it like being in a relationship with an introvert?” then some introvert relationship or introvert-extrovert relationship tips includes being your partner’s energy source. Some proposal ideas for introverts can include organizing a private dinner between the both of you or filling a room with photos of your good memories.

Do introverts cheat?

The topic of cheating is subject to individuals and not necessarily due to a personality type. Yes, introverts can cheat. But, if you observe signs an introvert is cheating, it might be due to their individual beliefs, and not merely because they’re quiet folks.

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CONCLUSION

Did you enjoy this article? Being practical and observant will always ensure your introvert relationship progresses. Therefore, never shy away from doing the essential things to make your association work. Kindly leave a comment below if you liked this article, or share it with other introverts that need to see it.

Meet Yadi!

Yadi is the founder of Diary Of An Introvert, a blog that showcases a world inside every introvert’s mind. She also the author of Am I Too Quiet? and other introvert books. She believes introverts need a platform for expression. Join our Introvert Club to be part of this growing movement. You’ll definitely love it here.

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In recent years, so much has been said about introverts and extroverts, as if they did not exist before, and now everyone is divided into two camps and cannot be attracted to each other. Introverts are not aliens or antisocial types. They just draw energy from within, not from outside. Therefore, they sometimes need to switch off from society in order to reboot the system, and their behavior seems strange. Here are some tips for dating an introvert the right way. nine0003

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If you manage to successfully build a relationship, an introvert can be a real treasure!

Contents of the article

Nature does not like a vacuum, an introvert does not like empty talk

Their social energy is limited, so there is no point in spending on something that is not important. Deep conversations attract them much more, while “how are you” dialogues seem insincere. They love face-to-face communication and do not tolerate didactic remarks. nine0003

An introvert hates the phone

There is a rule in dating that you call every 2-3 days. Calling rather than texting because it's more personal and enjoyable. And it is equally difficult for introverts to call and answer. Calls interrupt their inner work, break through the protective barrier and ... yes, often carry uninformative conversations. So if you call an introvert, speak quickly and to the point. And if you don't get through, leave a voice message: for sure, he will hypnotize the phone, which should already stop ringing. nine0003

Don't get carried away by texting

If you chose messages instead of calls, don't write them around the clock and don't wait for an answer to everything. An introvert is annoyed by the very fact of the appearance of a message, let alone answering ... Especially since here, too, meaningless conversations begin, and even in writing.

He needs to make sure of your sincerity

Showing a real interest in the words and deeds of an introvert, paying attention to details in a conversation - this is what he will really appreciate. Don't yawn! nine0003

Don't force him to change plans

"What are you doing tonight?" you write to him. And he has already planned an evening on the couch with his favorite movie with pizza and lemonade, and it’s hard for him to change everything for going out somewhere with you. Warn in advance.

Introvert needs time for himself

If you don't, that's great. Go where you like and don't force him to keep company (or feel guilty for not going). Yes, he can spend the weekend at home, leave in the middle of a party or in the course of a conversation, but this does not mean that you are tied to him by a leash. nine0003

He will always listen and support you

He really wants you to be happy! If you need a companion for all the crazy things in a row, an introvert is unlikely to fit. But if you agree to talk less and give your partner a place and time to be alone, everything will be fine and for a long time.

An introvert loves you: how can you guess? - Relationships

It has become fashionable to call yourself an introvert. "You can't offend introvert” or “Don’t pester an introvert, he feels bad about it” - similar phrases often sound like an excuse or with a touch of irony. But people who every day you have to step over yourself to communicate, really exist! For others, they may look like ungrateful beeches, but in fact everything not quite like that…

The concepts of "introversion" and "extraversion" are introduced into psychology Carl Jung. He designated such basic criteria for these psychotypes: extroverts, the movement and expenditure of libido (vital energy) is directed to the outside world, for introverts - into the world of reflection, the nature of the movement of energy during this cumulative.

To date, in popular psychology, the interpretation of these concepts have changed somewhat. But the general meaning remains. Extroverts are called the type active, sociable people with a stable nervous system. And introverts are closed, people "obsessed" with their own experiences, while very sensitive, often with a weak nervous system (and accompanying physical illnesses). nine0003

Encyclopedias say the following about behavioral traits. Extroverts dress more flamboyantly, their office doors are often open, and there is always a treat for colleagues on the table. Introverts, on the contrary, choose a practical style of clothing, lock themselves up, try to isolate their personal space, unlike extroverts, listen to calmer music, etc.

But all this does not mean that introverts hate or fear people. They love them, deeply and sincerely, only secretly ... And not all of them. But if you enter this circle, then there will be no more reliable friend or life partner. nine0003

Moody. Surely you knew the person before a romantic relationship began. Compare whether his behavior has changed. Quicker everything, before he did not go to the cinema too often, to concerts, to clubs on parties, went on picnics, etc. And he does it to you. He stepped out of his comfort zone for you. Yes, he can start to grumble and say that he doesn't like everything, the movie bad, food is tasteless, people around are bad and drunk ... He is not naughty. He feels that way, but endures for you! nine0003

Do not try to entertain and amuse an introvert if he seems sadder than usual. It's impossible. Most likely, it was you who upset him, but you can hardly guess what exactly. And the fact that you do not understand this additionally offends the introvert. In such a situation, you just need to hug him or leave alone for a while so that he survives and rethinks the situation.

Do not ask what an introvert wants and whether he liked it something. If he does not avoid it, then he liked it, or he just feels good next to you, and no matter where and what to do. There will never be stormy stories about impressions. nine0003

At the same time, an introvert is really comfortable and cheerful in society. But it must be a small circle. If a big noisy company robs him of energy, the environment of loved ones charges. Will he participate in discussions or sit silently - it doesn't matter. If people are well known and dear, he will receive positive emotions, watching them feel good.

Silence. Does an introvert seem to be uninteresting in you? He is everything time is silent and reluctantly answers questions? If he is next to you, then very interesting. And you are entitled to share the precious silence. Or got a devoted listener. Introverts like to be told something especially about the personal, about thoughts and doubts - they regard this as a favor the trust. And the introverts themselves speak in silence. nine0003

Of course they can talk. And how capable of frankness. But they do this infrequently and only when they are sure that the interlocutor will understand them. Appreciate if the introvert talks to you about their thoughts and feelings. And in no case do not question what has been said, do not show distrust. So you force it to close again, and now for a long time. If the introvert said "I love you" is a thousand percent true.

Hidden humor. Introverts have an excellent sense of humor, they have a sharp mind and no less sharp tongue. But they show it only in immediate surroundings. In public, in a working or official setting, on the contrary, they can be overly serious. If an introvert started joking with you, then you have moved into the category of people close to him. nine0003

But while maintaining this style of communication, remember that introverts do not tolerate vulgarity and rudeness. Especially if taunts of this level will be addressed to them. You may not get an answer right away, but you immediately fly out of the circle of trust, and then experience revenge in the form of a very painful a subtle sarcastic prick, which, moreover, can humiliate you in public.

Part of the inner universe. Introverts agree to serious relationship and report it only after delving deep into themselves. And this will not happen after a couple of months of dating. Before making an internal decision, they need to go through the whole cycle of possible emotions. in a relationship and make sure the person doesn't get on his nerves. To agree to a long-term relationship for an introvert is to make a person a part of their inner universe. Not a partner, not a patron or someone else, but someone who will become part of the introvert himself. nine0093

If an introvert is convinced that this is possible and says “I swear to love in joy and sorrow, sickness and health, in wealth and poverty…”, this is for a long time and practically cannot change. He will not make a fuss and pack a suitcase after a quarrel. Always before how to say something, think about the consequences and what painful feelings can deliver. But...

They leave forever. Introverts can let temporary partners approach themselves, but not out of loneliness, but under pressure - circumstances, relatives or stereotypes. However, if they still don’t feel that this person is “one of them”, then they use the first opportunity to escape. nine0003

The behavior of an introvert immediately signals this nature of the relationship. He expresses claims to a partner, criticizes, shows irritation, tries to spend time without him, sometimes lies (although by nature introverts are honest). And in this case, nothing will depend on you.

See also: How body language betrays a liar >>

But you yourself can destroy a serious relationship with an introvert. And you don't even know how to do it. An introvert won't talk about grievances, often will not even show an appearance, but will begin to accumulate them and build a wall. AT at some point, this protective wall will grow so much that he will no longer feel pain, and love at the same time - your words and deeds will become like rain or wind, not penetrating the house.

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