Signs your affair is over
15 Warning Signs Your Affair Partner Is Losing Interest
Let’s be honest: being the other woman or the other man is bad enough. But having to doubt your partner’s feelings in the middle of this chaos is a nightmare in itself.
However, before you jump to any conclusions, you have to be sure what’s really happening. Are you really seeing signs your affair partner is losing interest, or is there something else hidden behind their change in behavior?
There is only one way to find out: to keep on reading!
15 Signs Your Affair Partner Is Losing Interest
If you can relate to all or most of these signs, your partner is falling out of love with you.
1. No future plans
Every relationship expert will tell you the same thing: the first red flag you should pay attention to is that you and your affair partner have no future plans anymore.
Or, to be exact, they’re the one who avoids the topic.
Do you remember how things were in the beginning? You both dreamt about how things would be when you enter a real, committed relationship.
You probably talked about a place to stay, you planned on traveling together, and you had your entire life together figured out.
However, all of that seems to have disappeared overnight. Your partner went silent as if none of these talks ever happened.
Even when you try to tackle this issue, they ignore you completely.
And I’m not only talking about long-term future plans. I’m talking about short-term plans as well.
You can’t get them to sign up for a weekend getaway or a coffee date tomorrow night, let alone anything else.
Isn’t this fact alone suspicious? If you’re being honest, you’ll admit that it is definitely one of the signs your affair partner is losing interest.
2. … at least not with you
However, when you come to think of it, you’re the only person they don’t make any plans with. It’s not that they’re too busy. They have time – just not for you.
They keep on making plans with their significant other and the rest of their family.
Of course, they wouldn’t even inform you of those plans, but they have to warn you not to send them text messages or call them when they’re with them.
When you ask them about their vacation plans, they’ll tell you that they’ve already booked everything with their primary partner.
The hell with it, they’re even planning on doing things with their best friends and coworkers. It looks like there is a place in their future for everyone. That is, everyone but you!
Of course, when you confront him about this, he’ll tell you you’re imagining things.
Their significant other booked the flights without them knowing, or they have a family function they must attend.
But you’re not foolish enough to believe in these lies. After all, how come similar things didn’t happen before?
That’s right, the harsh truth is that your cheater doesn’t see your relationship as something long-lasting.
3. They avoid the divorce talk
When you engaged in this affair, there were some promises made.
You know the usual lines: their marriage or long-term relationship is falling apart, and they’re about to break up or get a divorce.
They made sure you believed that you two would be together for real before you knew it.
But now, when they no longer feel anything for you, everything changed. They’ve stopped bringing their divorce up completely.
Even when you ask them about it, it turns into a huge fight.
Let’s get one thing straight: they were likely lying to you from day one. They just wanted to make you fall in love with them, and they succeeded in their mission.
However, as funny as this might sound, they no longer even put effort into deceiving you. It’s like they don’t give a damn whether you stay or leave.
Or, to be exact, they know that you’ll stay, so there is no point in persuading you that they’ll end things with their SO. I know you’ll have a hard time accepting this, but it’s one of the most surefire signs your affair partner is losing interest.
4. You’re nothing but a booty call
Physical intimacy is crucial in every romantic relationship; nobody can argue about that. Your affair has a higher chance of succeeding if you two get along in the bedroom.
However, it can’t be the only basis of a relationship. If it is, then you’ve got yourself a no-strings-attached kind of an arrangement going on, and there is no point in looking for the tell-tale signs your affair partner is losing interest, let alone feelings.
But the situation with you is that you had amazing between-the-sheets fun. Nevertheless, it wasn’t the only thing your relationship revolved around. However, that has changed.
Lately, you’ve been feeling like this person’s booty call. Why? Well, because that’s exactly what you are.
They call you in the middle of the night, asking when they can stop by. They don’t arrange any activities whatsoever except those that involve a hotel room.
You don’t talk, you don’t travel, you don’t watch movies together.
You’re only spending time with one another when you’re sleeping together.
What does this tell you? That they’re still very much physically attracted to you, but that’s about it.
5. … or they avoid physical intimacy altogether
Let’s get one thing straight: we’re not talking about an emotional affair here, are we? That is why it’s quite unusual for your partner to avoid physical intimacy.
I just told you that it’s bad if they only want to sleep with you. And now I’m telling you that it’s bad if they don’t want to sleep with you either. What’s going on?
Well, the trick is in finding balance – one of the things your relationship clearly doesn’t have.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s one thing if they’re tired or if this is just a phase. You can’t expect anyone to be turned on 24/7 or for your sex life to always be at its peak.
It’s also understandable if you know that they’re going through something. Maybe they’re dealing with additional stress at work or something similar.
In that case, this is not a red flag you should pay attention to.
However, if their disinterest in physical intimacy lasts for some time and there is no valid explanation behind it, you’ve got yourself a problem.
What’s even worse is that they refuse to talk about it. Whenever you tackle the issue, they accuse you of having only one thing on your mind.
What does this mean?
Well, that they’ve probably stopped seeing you as their emotional partner. Instead, you’ve become something like a best friend to them.
You can either try to revive the sparkle or settle for an emotional affair.
6. Nobody knows about you
Keeping your relationship a secret is what an extra-marital affair is all about, I know. However, it’s impossible to keep something like that a secret for so long from literally everyone.
When you first started dating, your cheater showed you off. Of course, they made sure only people they trusted knew about you, which didn’t include anyone who would tell on them to their spouse.
Nevertheless, now it seems like nobody knows about you anymore, not even their best friends.
Does this mean that they’ve become more careful? But for what reason if they’re planning to file for divorce?
Either way, that’s not hidden behind this change of behavior. I hate to break it to you, but they simply don’t feel the need to talk about you anymore. Yes, it’s as simple as that.
At the same time, they don’t plan to keep you around for much longer, so they don’t see the need to bring you up in conversation.
7. Working on their marriage
Have you noticed that your partner is actually putting effort into saving their marriage, or is it just me?
Whenever you try to reach out, they’re always with them. They started mentioning their SO more, even though they try not to do so.
Maybe they haven’t told you anything about their reconciliation outright. However, I’m sure you stalk their social media accounts or have mutual friends.
You found out that they’re living their lives like every other married couple. It looks like they’ve just had a crisis, and now, they’re doing everything to overcome it and rebuild the healthy relationship they once had.
They’re traveling together, going to the movies, and attending social functions. Basically, they’re doing everything your partner isn’t doing with you.
Of course, you’ve never had a problem with them spending time with other family members. However, it seems like they’re using this as an excuse to get closer to their SO.
This is a hard pill to swallow. It looks like you were just a spice to their marriage. You obviously gave them the life support they needed.
But hey, it’s better to realize it in time before you lose any more time with this person.
Family therapist
The biggest red flag that your partner is working on their marriage is that they’re seeing a family therapist. You have to understand that they consider their relationship so important that they want to make it work at all costs.
Both them and their SO are aware that they have problems – nobody can argue against that. These problems are above their area of expertise.
However, they’re so willing to work on them that they involve a professional to give them a hand.
8. Making excuses
One of the signs your affair partner is losing interest is hidden in the excuses they keep on making, whatever the situation is.
You ask them about divorce? They will tell you that they can’t leave their spouse because they’re emotionally blackmailing them, because they have a mortgage together, or for the kids’ sake.
You ask them why they spend so little time with you? They keep telling you that they have to work extra hours, that they’re busy at work, that they’re tired, or that they just can’t fit you into their schedule.
Sound familiar? Well, the truth is that I could go on and on because there are endless examples of similar behavior.
Why is this happening?
But what do all these patterns have in common? That’s right – they’re all excuses.
And you always end up with one big, fat nothing. You know that they’re lying to you, but the worst part is that they’re getting away with it.
This is not something you want to hear, but they’re giving you these excuses just so you leave them alone. It’s easier to deceive you to get back off their back than to tell you that they don’t want to spend time with you.
9. Empty promises
Excuses never come alone. They’re always followed by empty promises. And you’ve been getting a bunch of those as well.
When will they get a divorce? Anytime soon. When will you get the place you deserve in their life? You already have it.
Will they love you forever? Of course. Do they see you as their soulmate? Who else would it be?
All of these words would sound perfect if they were backed up with real actions. But when it comes to your relationship, that’s definitely not the case.
Each one of these lines and promises are empty.
Your partner’s words don’t match their deeds. And that’s the whole problem.
Of course, it hasn’t always been like this. On the contrary, it started happening once they started losing feelings for you.
10. You’ve become their last resortWhether you like to admit it or not, the truth is that you’ve become this person’s last choice.
When you first started dating, they were ready to drop everything just to spend time with you. They would sneak out of the house to see you, they would cancel meetings and business appointments to be next to you.
You were their priority, and you clearly held first place in their life. However, all of that has changed with time.
Lately, they’ve only been calling you when everyone else stands them up. Everything and everyone has become more important than you.
Their family (including their spouse), work, best friends, hobbies… you name it.
And you don’t have a problem with them having a place in their life.
After all, you know what you signed up for.
You have a problem with the fact that there is obviously no longer room for you there.
11. Your feelings come last
Have you tried talking to your partner about all of these things bothering you? Absolutely yes!
Was it ever a fruitful conversation? Hell, no.
Why is that so? Well, isn’t it obvious? At the end of the day, your feelings don’t matter to them.
As painful as it is to grasp this idea, they don’t give a damn about whether they break your heart or not.
They don’t care if they leave you hanging, waiting for them to show up as they promised. They don’t care if you cry yourself to sleep.
They don’t give a damn about the fact they’re ruining your future. They don’t care how you feel.
On the other hand, they make sure not to hurt their SO. They make sure not to disrupt their seemingly perfect life.
It seems like everyone’s emotions, needs, and well-being are significant.
Everyone, except yours, that is.
12. It’s all about them
Isn’t it clear? Your entire relationship revolves around your partner. It’s pretty obvious that you two aren’t equal here.
It’s not just about the fact that you two are spending less and less time together. It’s also about the quality of that time.
When was the last time you talked about you? When were your dreams, fears, and problems the main topic of conversation?
That’s right, you can’t even remember.
Even when you two do engage in meaningful communication, it always ends up with them complaining and you being their shoulder to cry on.
You’re very understanding of all their troubles. You even listen to them talk about their marital problems.
You’re there to give them advice, hear them out, or give them a hand even when they don’t ask for one.
But do they ever return the favor? Most certainly not!
Whenever you need them, they’re nowhere to be found.
They’re too busy to listen to you, let alone help you out with your issues.
It’s time to ask yourself this: Am I this person’s emotional partner or a pro-bono therapist?
13. They’re annoyed by everything you do
What are some of the first signs your affair partner is losing interest? Well, this one doesn’t have a lot to do with affairs in general – it also answers the question of how to tell if your partner is losing feelings.
When everything you do annoys your partner, one thing is clear: the infatuation is long gone!
I’m mostly talking about those little things they used to find interesting and cute. But now, they’re literally bothered by the way you breathe.
That’s exactly what’s going on in your affair.
For example, you used to be jealous. Your partner saw that as a sign of your love for them. They were flattered by your possessive nature.
Now, all of a sudden, they can’t stand this side of you.
It’s like that with everything.
They’re annoyed by the way you kiss them and make love to them, your text messages, how you look, talk, and behave.
I hate to break it to you, but this person’s disinterest is quite visible – you’re just refusing to see it.
14. There is someone else
Okay, so they’re cheating on their spouse with you – we’ve got that covered. But once they start cheating with a third (or should I say fourth?) person, it’s time to pick up what’s left of your dignity and walk away.
I mean, come on, you won’t allow yourself to be cheated on by a person who’s cheating on someone with you, will you?
If this is the case, the truth is that you’re dealing with a serial cheater. These people don’t care who their lover is – as long as they are in a position to commit adultery.
I hate to break it to you, but this was never about you. They just wanted to cheat, and you were convenient.
You obviously no longer give them the thrill they were getting at the beginning of your affair.
Of course, this has nothing to do with you – this person is just moving from one victim to another.
And sadly, your time is up.
Why didn’t they leave you?Well, why would they? If they have a chance to jiggle between the three of you, that’s exactly what they will do.
15. Your intuition tells you
At the end of the day, there is something even stronger than all of these signs your affair partner is losing interest. That’s right, I’m talking about your gut feeling.
They can try and deceive you as much as they way, but deep down, you just know that things are not the same.
You notice it in the way they look at you, in the way they kiss you, and generally, in the way they treat you.
As much as you’re trying to tell yourself that you’re imagining things, you know the harsh truth. You’re aware that your intuition is showing you signs you can no longer ignore.
The only question is: What will you do about it?
How Do You Tell If An Affair Has Ended?
If your affair partner has reconnected with their spouse as if nothing happened, your affair is over, even if they didn’t break up with you outright.
Don’t expect them to be brave enough to end things with you directly. Instead, they’ll let you make the conclusion yourself.
How Do Affairs Usually End?
Most affairs end with the marital couple getting back together even though these marriages usually end in divorce, followed by a committed relationship with the third person. According to some research, only a small percentage of cheating partners actually do leave their wives or husbands to build a life with their lovers.
To Wrap Up:
I know that it was heartbreaking for you to relate to most of these signs your affair partner is losing interest. But they’re here, and they’re very much real.
I don’t mean to judge you, but this affair would’ve ended one way or another. And it’s definitely much better for you to know where you stand.
To be honest, you have no other option but to leave even before seeing all these signs. However, now after you’ve seen them, you know what your only choice is!
Tara Brown
Tara writes and collects powerful, heartfelt stories and advice on what it’s like to love, lose and finally, move on.
She coaches people to deal with disappointment, confusion and fear brought on to them by their own complicated love experiences.
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How to Know If Your Spouse Ended Their Affair
Whether you found out on your own or they came clean and told you what's going on, processing that your spouse, the person you trusted to never hurt you, had an affair is beyond hurtful. That said, this doesn't have to be the end of your relationship if you don't want it to be. With patience, time, and effort, you can rebuild the love and trust in your marriage.
If your partner recently ended their affair and you're grappling with how to handle it (work on your relationship or search for a divorce lawyer), take some time to think about what's important to you. The questions you'll have to ask yourself may make you feel a bit overwhelmed, but if you keep reminding yourself that you will be okay, the healing process will be much easier no matter what you choose to do.
However, before you can start the healing process, you need to know without a doubt that the affair is over. Here are 5 ways to give you peace of mind that your partner is being faithful to and honest with you.
01 of 05
You Have Access to Their Phone
This may feel authoritarian for you and invasive for them. However, if having proof that your partner is being faithful is something you need, then don't be ashamed to ask to go through their phone. After all, they may have lost their right to privacy when they had an affair. Maybe once you genuinely believe them when they promised that the affair is over, you won't feel as intent on reading their messages and emails.
02 of 05
You Are Both Honest
While some people don't want to know anything about the affair (as long as it's over), others want to know every detail. If you fall into the latter group, you have to ask your partner for unconditional honesty when he's telling you about their affair.
However, they're not the only ones who need to be honest; you do too. If, on some level, you know you won't be able to get past this, you have to tell them that and go from there. Even though you may not want to, divorce may be the best option if you don't see yourself ever fully trusting your spouse again. After all, trust is so important in a marriage.
03 of 05
They Validate Your Feelings
Being confronted is never fun. In fact, it's usually quite painful—especially when you're guilty of the crime you're being accused of committing. One way to ensure that the affair is over is if they are both remorseful and receptive to your feelings. As long as they don't dismiss your feelings about the affair and your need to talk about those feelings, you're on the right track. By being willing to listen and validate your feelings, they're taking responsibility for their betrayal.
Keep in mind that you won't feel better about the status of your relationship after one conversation—no matter how long and open it is.
Even if patience doesn't come naturally to you, you have to accept that the healing process may take a while.
On the other hand, if they're defensive and aren't okay talking about it, there's a decent chance the affair isn't completely over yet.
04 of 05
The Marital Issues Are Addressed
To be clear: You are not the reason your partner strayed. Adulterers typically justify their actions to make themselves feel better about betraying the person they promised to love and cherish. That said, they may have had negative feelings about your relationship and, instead of talking about them, had an affair. If you want to be sure the affair is over, invite them to an open, honest discussion about their concerns or issues.
Once everything is on the table, you can make an effort to put the problems to rest. Healing is a two-way street, so as much as they're committing to moving forward, you have to too.
05 of 05
You Can Forgive
Forgiveness isn't always easy, but it's essential if you want to rebuild your relationship.
As hard as they'll work to prove their worth as a reliable partner, you'll have to work on forgiving them for their transgressions. Whether you decide to visit a couples counselor or you seek advice from friends and family, asking people you trust for their opinions may help you move forward and feel less isolated.
12 signs that your marriage is over
They say you shouldn't marry someone you can live with, but someone you can't live without. At some point, you probably felt this way about your spouse. However, over time, something has changed. Either you felt the spark fading, or you realized that you do not share the core values. And yet our faith in marriage is so strong that even when you hit a difficult point, it's hard to see the signs that your marriage is falling apart.
There are always signs that the marriage is broken for men, and for women too. But since every married couple goes through their share of ups and downs along the way, fighting and arguing doesn't mean your relationship is doomed.
Or just because you've gone through the initial phase of romance and attraction doesn't mean there's no love in a marriage.
So how do you determine if you're just weathering another storm that will pass, or if your marriage is really falling apart? Watch out for certain telltale signs to resolve this dilemma, look for signs that your marriage is falling apart.
Contents of the article
- 1 12 signs that it is time for your marriage to develop
- 1.1 1. Living as a single person
- 1.2 2. Your plans for the future do not include a spouse.
- 1.3 3. You are no longer jealous
- 1.4 4. Major financial decisions without discussion
- 1.5 5. Different views on marriage ties.
- 1.6 6. Violence is a red flag
- 1.7 7. You thought about cheating
- 1.8 8. Avoid each other.
- 1.9 9. You don't open up to your partner
- 1.10 10. Fantasies about hurting them
- 1.11 11.
Emotional romance - 1.12 12. You don't care about physical intimacy.
Ah, that state of absolute bliss that you experience shortly after marriage. I feel like the happiest person in the world. But as every couple eventually realizes, this feeling doesn't last forever. When things get tough, it's natural to wonder if a marriage is worth saving or if it's better to break up. According to psychologist and counselor Dr. Kurpatov, there are always signs that a marriage is indeed failing. “From a lack of communication to a lack of quality time together, there are seemingly small differences that can grow and lead to the breakdown of a marriage,” says Dr. Kurpatov.
However, while this is worrying, you should not give up until there is no other way out. Your marriage is still worth saving if you or your partner only occasionally exhibit traits that could threaten your intimacy.
However, if these 12 signs that your marriage is falling apart are becoming more and more significant, it may be time to take stock of what lies ahead for you:
1.
Living as a single person that your marriage has broken up is that you and your spouse are still living as if you were single. This may include if they often go to parties or if their plans to go out often do not involve you. There is nothing wrong with your spouse meeting with their group of friends from time to time, but if you do this every week, it is a sign that your marriage is crumbling.
“Lack of quality time together leads the couple to break up and get used to their loneliness. As a result, they become frustrated and dissatisfied with their family life,” Dr. Kurpatov explains.
2. Your plans for the future do not include your spouse.
If you have ever asked yourself if you are in a loveless marriage, this should be one of the main things to think about. Try to imagine the rest of your life without a spouse. Does this idea hurt you or are you indifferent to it? Is this one of the signs that a marriage cannot be saved?
Basically the answer is yes.
If imagining the rest of your life without a spouse fills you with a sense of relief, this is one of the 12 signs your marriage is broken and not worth saving.
3. You are no longer jealous
Whatever your views on jealousy, you cannot deny that where love exists, jealousy follows. While it's true that you shouldn't let jealousy get in the way of your partner's freedom or personality, you can't say that a person shouldn't be jealous.
If watching your spouse get along with someone he could potentially love doesn't make you even a little jealous, you should consider that you don't love him anymore. The complete absence of jealousy is a clear red flag. This is one of the signs that your marriage is falling apart.
Lack of jealousy is a red flag4. Major financial decisions without discussion
When you get married, every decision you make affects your partner, not just you. If you've asked yourself if it's worth saving your marriage, you need to see if any of you frequently make large financial purchases without consulting the other.
“Financial constraints also create a lot of disharmony and negatively affect marriage,” says Dr. Kurpatov. But, she adds, discussing finances is key.
Your spouse does not discuss important financial decisions with you - or vice versa - indicates something is wrong with your bond. Even worse, if their financial decisions start to negatively impact your life, you need to consider the possibility that your marriage may not last long term.
5. Different views on the marriage bond.
Even if you've been married for a long time, one of the reasons your marriage can fall apart is that you and your partner have different ideas about what an ideal marriage should be. From what it means to be married to prioritizing family time or starting a family, there can be many issues on which spouses may disagree.
But if you can't find a happy medium, these differences can eventually affect your relationship and are definitely one of the signs that a marriage can't be saved.
“Different points of view and being on different wavelengths can cause a break in communication. Sometimes one partner may decide not to participate in any negotiations for fear of a quarrel,” warns Dr. Kurpatov.
6. Violence is a red flag
Many people believe that violence should always lead to physical scars. But emotional abuse is much more common in unhappy marriages. While it doesn't leave visible scars to people, the impact on your psyche can be debilitating.
“Lack of communication can also be the result of repeated abuse, after which one person decides not to participate at all,” says Dr. Kurpatov.
Emotional abuse can take many forms, such as when your spouse puts you down or puts you down instead of supporting and helping you be the best version of yourself. If your partner often makes you feel bad about yourself, then this is a sure sign that you are suffering from emotional abuse.
Any violence is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
If your marriage is thriving, you need to put yourself first and weigh all your options.
7. Have you thought about cheating? If the idea of cheating on a partner no longer seems terrifying, it means that love and respect are starting to wane.
Marriage cannot last with sincere love, respect and admiration between you and your spouse. The fact that you have considered the possibility of being with someone else indicates that something is not right in your relationship. The mere thought of this kind does not necessarily mean that the marriage is annulled.
After all, it's a long journey that two people go on together, and fleeting attraction outside of marriage is not uncommon. But when combined with other signs of a divorce, it can be a disastrous warning.
8. Avoid each other.
If you and your spouse often try not to be in the same room for too long, this is a sign that the relationship is over. Couples who are still in love go out of their way to spend as much time together as possible.
They cherish each other's company, not just tolerate it.
Of course, we all need space in a relationship, but ultimately a healthy marriage is one in which you genuinely love your partner and want to spend time with them.
If you have asked yourself if saving your marriage is worth it, you need to be honest and ask yourself if you or your spouse continue to avoid each other instead of living together as a couple.
9. You do not open up to your partner
Your spouse is supposed to be the only person with whom you should feel safe and vulnerable. Being able to communicate in a relationship without fear of judgment is critical to leading a healthy family life. We know we're always told that it's hard for men to open up anyway, but that's not just one of the signs that a marriage is broken for men. Regardless of gender, communication is important.
If you cannot communicate honestly with your partner and find that you can no longer be vulnerable around him, you can be sure that something is wrong in your marriage.
10. Fantasies about how to hurt them
In unhappy marriages, one of the spouses quite often fantasizes about hurting the other. This usually happens during quarrels or bouts of aggression. But often you fantasize about your partner being hurt, which is another matter entirely. Such fantasies are just one of the symptoms of an unhappy marriage and should be counted among the 12 signs your marriage is failing.
11. Emotional romance
Another sign of an unhappy marriage is when one of the spouses develops an emotional bond. Emotional romance is when you satisfy your emotional needs and intimacy needs with someone other than your spouse.
While this may seem harmless, since you are not technically cheating, turning to a third party to meet your emotional needs is much more dangerous than physical infidelity. This is a sign that the bond between you and your spouse is losing its meaning.
Turning to a third party to meet your emotional needs is much more dangerous12.
Physical intimacy doesn't bother you. The pursuit of physical intimacy is vital to a healthy marriage. While you and your partner will experience changes in your sex life after marriage, a complete lack of desire is a sign of an unhappy marriage.
Couples can sometimes go through phases when the stress of life makes intimate moments fade into the background. This is normal and should not be seen as a sign of a failed marriage. But if you find that you or your partner have desires but not for each other, then the writing is pretty much hanging on the wall.
Dr. Kurpatov explains that reduced physical intimacy can lead to fights or one or both partners being unhappy, frustrated and seeking fulfillment outside of marriage.
You may be concerned if you find that your relationship is actually showing one or more of the 12 signs that your marriage is over. In desperation, you may believe that your marriage is not worth saving or that it cannot be saved.
It is not true. Couples go through tough times, and during these tough times, some signs of a broken marriage can show up.
These moments are critical because they test whether you and your partner value the relationship enough to get through your problems. If you don't know when you should end your marriage, you need to ask yourself if you and your spouse are still making serious efforts to resolve conflicts.
If this is not the case, you should renounce the marriage.
15 signs that you are in the middle of an emotional romance / Girl Talk
There are some things that are actually more damaging than physical cheating on someone you seem to love with - and that's when you start to emotionally lean on someone else more than your significant other. Sometimes you may not even be aware that you are on to someone on a more emotional level, and when you start to see the signs, you think that this is not considered a fact of deception. This is extremely toxic to your current relationship and can cause it to explode into tiny pieces right in front of your face if you're not careful and can pinpoint the warning signs.
Here are 15 signs that you may be in an emotional tangle with another person outside of your relationship and what you can do to end it.
15 hiding text messages
This is one of the first telltale signs that you may be emotionally withdrawing from your partner. Of course, people who actually cheat in relationships go to great lengths to hide text messages and social media posts so you think it's okay when you delete text from someone you're close to outside of your relationship - even if it's innocent In fact, ESPECIALLY if it's nothing more than innocent. If you're deleting conversations related to something as mundane as a text message about getting lost on your way to work, or even a pure inside joke, you're probably feeling more than friendly feelings for that other person. If you catch yourself doing this, it's best to take a step back and try to understand WHY you're deleting a post in the first place, especially if nothing happens..0004
14 Talking to one person more than another person
Oh, sure, you think it's cute when you call someone you're close to at work your "work husband/wife", but your the real partner doesn't seem to think so.
Because you work with them, you see them every day, so you usually start talking to them much more often than you would to your partner. You are in a tight space, so it's natural. Either this? If you're looking for a specific person at work on a full-time basis to talk to and you're really looking forward to telling them some weird story, you're becoming too emotionally dependent on your "work husband/wife". And trust us, your partner will immediately notice that you communicate with the employee more than with him.
13 Dress to impress
Sure, you like to look cute all the time, but when you're in the middle of a comfortable relationship, you tend to relax a bit when it comes to your wardrobe. You assume that since you've already caught your partner, you don't need to dress up anymore to impress them. But all of a sudden you start noticing that you're a little more shy about how you dress when you're around someone who's supposedly been thrown into the friend zone. You'll plan out outfits days before you know you'll be hanging out with them.
Or, if you work with them, you carefully change your look and your wardrobe to get their attention. Trust me, your partner will notice your new look and start wondering what's going on.
12 Getting out of your way to be alone with another person
That big no-no. If you're in a serious relationship with someone, you shouldn't think about finding a way to spend time alone with someone you just consider a "friend," especially if those feelings are even deeper. Even if you think that there is nothing wrong with this, since your relationship with this other person is strictly platonic, but it is. Especially if you're making random excuses to be alone with that other person. It's time for a little introspection if you keep doing this, because one day you can get by just by talking and suddenly you're in a real romance instead of just an emotional one. In fact, self-esteem is the only way to nip it in the bud and stop it before it starts..
11 Constantly comparing a significant other to another person
It's obvious that you love your new friend at work because not only do you talk about him very little, but you actually compare your partner to them quite routinely these days.
You even begin to weigh the pros and cons of your partner when it comes to your new friend. You get annoyed by your partner's habits (which you once found admirable) and start thinking, "Why can't they be more like so-and-so?" It's one thing if you think about it all the time, but when you start saying things like that out loud to your partner, then you're looking at some serious problems. Your partner will be rightfully jealous and will start to question your feelings for this other person which is the doomsday for your relationship. Catch yourself before you crash.
10 They know important things first
At the beginning of your relationship, you always ran to your partner when you had some important news, good or bad. They were the shoulder you leaned on in those days. But now things are different and you find yourself running to a friend to reveal these big things going on in your life - and now they are the first to know about it. If you feel like telling a friend, not a partner, that you got a coveted promotion, you're in the midst of an emotional turmoil, mate.
It's one thing if the friend you want to talk about is your childhood friend, that you're closer than your sisters, but it's quite another if it's someone you start to look at differently..
9 bedroom activities suddenly fell off the map
It can go one of two ways: either you're just not interested in your intimate activities that used to happen regularly, or you've changed everything and are now trying something new. Both can make your partner suspicious. Even if nothing happens physically to someone other than your partner, your change in close relationship is a warning sign. As you find yourself emotionally invested in someone outside of your relationship, your physical interest in your partner seems to waver and you no longer want to be intimate with them because you are emotionally intimate with someone else. These two things come together when you're in a serious relationship, so if the mind deviates, your body will too, leading your partner to assume you're cheating in a different way.
8 You are distant from your significant other
We can often be distant from our partners when something big is happening in our lives. Or when we just feel the need to switch off for a while. Being distant from time to time is completely normal in any relationship. However, lately you have found that you are far apart in your relationship and you are doing it more than usual. This may be because you are communicating with another person who is not your partner, but not physically. When you become emotionally and intellectually attached to someone else outside of your relationship, your mind starts to wander a lot more, which is a clear sign that something is wrong. You may want to do whatever it takes to get rid of it if you truly love your partner.
7 odd change of attitude
You are usually perfectly fine with your quirky and sarcastic nature and playful attitude towards your partner, but lately you have been feeling more irritable when it comes to certain things.
Especially this playful part. All of a sudden, everything your partner does is annoying or just funny, so that you start to grumble a little or just lash out at them. You realize that you get irritated faster than before when you are around them. It's like you're trying to convince yourself that they're annoying, so you act too. When you start subconsciously comparing two people in your head, you start turning on who you are actually in a relationship with without even realizing it. Perhaps you are even trying to sabotage your relationship because of this new person?
6 You drop their name all the time
Removing the name is annoying, I don't care who you are. But when we think about changing a name, we picture someone who keeps naming famous people they've dated or, god forbid, friends with. However, when we're in the middle of emotional confusion, we tend to drop the name of the person we're passionate about without even knowing it - especially when we're around our partners.
“So-and-so said the funniest thing to date!” Or "So-and-so, this movie was incredibly good, so we should watch it" or "So-and-so is planning to throw his Christmas party here." to avoid the holiday rush” - such little things. But it's the little things that make the biggest impact in our lives, and are very noticeable even if you think they're not.
5 your usual shift argument
Before this person came into your life, the biggest argument you had with your partner was over going to his parents' house for Thanksgiving or your parents. But now, all of a sudden, you're in a fight over every tiny thing, from a simple dish left in the sink to an argument about why someone didn't make a DVR The Daily Show that night. Suddenly you start fighting for everything because you are more irritable. Things that were never important before suddenly become more important than they really are, so you start arguing about them. And if you often have difficult debates (rather than arguments) that mimic your intelligence with your partner, you'll find yourself trying to avoid them.
If you find yourself preferring to keep this data with another person, you should probably start evaluating yourself and your behavior.
4 You see your significant other as a third wheel
So you've got a new close buddy at work that you really like (but you DONT THINK REAL, even if people around you are starting to feel some vibes) and they invite you for an innocent meeting a cup of coffee. You tell your partner because you have nothing to hide and invite them to join, but you get annoyed when they actually show up. If the one you're in the middle of an emotional affair with is an employee and you suddenly find yourself looking forward to engaging in fun work activities with them, you'll try to downplay it to your partner because you don't. I want them to leave. You find yourself more fun and let go of your friends when your partner isn't around, which can be a major mistake in your current relationship..
3 Sudden love for social media
When the MySpace craze started years ago, you didn't care.
When Facebook came along, you only signed up to keep in touch with your out-of-state relatives, but you never do that. When Instagram and Twitter exploded, you just sighed and sipped your tea. Social media has never taken a huge place in your life...until recently it has. When you're in the midst of an emotional romance, you find yourself wanting to understand every tiny thing about that other person, which is why you suddenly become a social media scientist - follow their every move online. You even post witty and silly messages to get their attention online as well. Sure, you think it's innocent because everything is platonic, but when you catch yourself smiling when you see they've posted something new, you'd better beware.
2 You start projecting onto them
It's a psychiatrist's dream when you try to project onto your partner when you're the one who's wrong, even though you think you're wrong. Whenever someone does something wrong or has feelings for someone else while in a relationship, they start blaming their partner for doing wrong or (again, God forbid) cheating on you.
This is called projection, when one of the partners begins to blame their partner, when in fact you are mistaken. You think, "because I have feelings for someone else, they should do the same." Even if you don't consider it a deal because it's platonic, you'll start pointing the finger at your partner, even though you know deep down that they're innocent of all the mess. Any psychiatrist will tell you all this directly.
1 You suddenly become defensive about everything
Whenever we believe in our hearts that we are doing something wrong by talking (and only talking) to someone who is outside of our relationship, it hurts us psychologically. damage, and we are suddenly protected from every little thing. Do you think that everything that comes out of your partner's mouth is some kind of accusation, even if it's just "hey, what are you up to?" Or "Hey, what's on your agenda?" You think they must know something so you go to defense and attack. If you find yourself doing this a little, you need to self-reflect because more often than not, emotional entanglements can be much more devastating than physical ones, and the consequences can be disastrous for both of you, your partner, and possibly others at the party.
