Signs of an extroverted introvert

15 Signs You May Be an 'Extroverted' Introvert

As an “extroverted” introvert, you may like being around others, but that doesn’t mean you want to interact with them nonstop.

When you hear about introversion, does it feel like it’s describing you? Perhaps some characteristics sound like you, but others may not. For instance, you love spending time alone, are not a fan of small talk, and feel really drained after spending too much time with others. But… you also have a large circle of friends, like socializing, and don’t mind being the center of attention.

Confusing, right?

You may very well be an “extroverted” introvert — or in other words, someone who falls closer to the middle of the introversion/extroversion continuum. Here are some of the signs.

15 Signs You May Be an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert

1. You find people interesting — and even like meeting new people.

As an introvert, you love to people-watch but you also like to meet new people (even if it’s a little scary). You like asking them about their lives and getting to know them better — not like you want to do this all the time though. And, despite your interest in people, you still prefer small amounts of socializing at a time.

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2. You don’t mind reaching out to others and hosting events.

More often than not, you are the one who organizes social events for others, since being stuck at a party is a big fear of yours. (You know you’ll want to escape once you reach your social limit.) This makes being the host the ideal job for you as an extroverted introvert — you can spend time with people on your own terms and when the event is over, it’s over. 

3. You enjoy being around people (even among larger groups).

Most introverts prefer spending time alone or with just a few close friends who “get” them — those in their inner circle. But social gatherings and talking to strangers don’t bother you (not too much, anyway). However, unlike most extroverts, you can only handle this for so long; once you reach your social battery limit, you feel depleted. 

4. You need time between social events.  

Extroverts are usually able to socialize every day, as well as all week long — and still feel energized by all the activity. But as an extroverted introvert, you may like the idea of a super-social lifestyle, but the reality is you can’t do it nonstop. Even if you have a couple events in one day, you need alone time between them to reset and recharge.

5. You often change your mind about plans at the last minute.  

You can plan and look forward to an event for weeks, but on the much-anticipated day, the introvert part of you comes out and you suddenly want to stay home. Even thinking about getting ready to go out makes you feel anxious. Despite how much you were looking forward to it, it can be hard to explain the sudden change of heart to your friends, especially to the extroverts.

6. You make new connections, but they don’t always last. 

When you’re out and about socializing, you often meet people you’d like to stay in touch with. But once you return to your daily life, you don’t make a conscious effort to do so. It’s not that you are rude or you planned to break the promise intentionally, but you know how much time and effort it would take to build a new friendship. Instead, the introvert in you prefers to reach out to your already-established friends. 

Do ever you struggle to know what to say?

As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist — even if you’re quiet and hate small talk. To learn how, we recommend this online course from our partner Michaela Chung. Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course.

7. You prefer certain social settings to others.

A get-together at someone’s house may be fine, but an event somewhere crowded and noisy is not your thing. Sometimes, the energy of the group can raise yours; other times, it can really drain you. So while the extroverted part of you may have a “the more, the merrier” mentality, the introvert part of you would like to socialize in an introvert-friendly environment.

8. You ask others questions more so than talk.  

To avoid talking just to talk, you tend to ask a lot of questions — and, in doing so, people may think you’re quite the extrovert. The thing is, you are sincerely interested in people and enjoy listening to what others have to say. But the introvert in you also knows that, the more others talk, the less you have to.

9. You go off by yourself sometimes when you’re in large group settings.

As an extroverted introvert, sometimes you want to be around others, but you don’t necessarily want to interact with them: Being surrounded by their energy is enough and you don’t feel the need to talk. Similarly, you enjoy going to public places where there are a good number of people around, yet you also make sure there are areas where you can get some alone time, whether that means the bathroom or stepping outside for a few moments. This way, you get the socializing you may crave while also getting pockets of alone time.

10. You’re in your head (even when surrounded by others).

Part of the reason why socializing is so exhausting for introverted extroverts is because you’re trying to engage with the outside world and with your own mind at the same time. Being an introvert means you spend most of your time in your own head, overthinking and overanalyzing situations. Should I have said that? Am I talking enough? What should I say next? But the extroverted part of you also wants to participate in the conversations around you.

11. You’re very selective when it comes to friends.

You might be comfortable socializing with many different people, but your true inner circle of friends is small and limited to select people. There are only a few you truly feel connected to, but this isn’t something that bothers you. Having only a few close friends allows your relationships to be deeper and more authentic.

12. You prefer texting and emailing, but can also talk on the phone for hours.

For introverts, it takes a lot of energy to try and have a meaningful conversation over the phone. So you probably prefer to send a text or an email. And many introverts loathe phone calls — when we call someone back, for example, we often secretly hope they won’t answer. But when you’re an extroverted introvert, you sometimes spend hours on the phone with your best friend (or someone in your inner circle). This tends to occur when you have something deep to discuss — something you’re passionate about, or your hopes and dreams (or theirs, since we’re great listeners).

13. You prefer meaningful conversations. 

Every conversation is different, which means the energy it takes to be part of one can fluctuate wildly, whether it’s on the phone (see above) or in person. Not all conversations will wear you out — some may even energize you, especially if you’re talking about in-depth topics that interest you. Although a conversation may start out as small talk, once you and the person connect, it can turn into deeper, more meaningful talk.

14. You don’t mind being in the spotlight (now and then).  

If you are an extroverted introvert, being the center of attention isn’t always a bad thing. You might even enjoy it if it’s something you’re passionate about — maybe you do improv, or are an actor or musician. Or maybe you’re good at public speaking, so talking in work meetings or giving presentations doesn’t bother you either. (But, afterwards, you need time to yourself to recharge.)

15. You’re often mistaken for an extrovert.

Oftentimes, people who don’t know you well may mistake you for an extrovert. You have more social skills than you can handle, and your leadership skills — and outgoing nature — make you seem confident in social situations. Speaking of leaders, many U.S. presidents and First Ladies were (and are) introverts, too, from Abraham Lincoln to Jill Biden, respectively. But even though you may look and act like an extrovert, at the end of the day, all you want is some good old-fashioned alone time to regroup and recharge.

There Is No ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’ Way to Be an Introvert 

Even with all of these signs that you may be an extroverted introvert, you must keep in mind there is no “right” or “wrong” way to be an introvert: We all act introverted sometimes and extroverted at others. But it’s all about understanding what you need to be able to function in your daily life and then doing whatever makes you feel comfortable. That may mean being the life of the party one day and curling up in bed with a good book the next. 

So, are you an extroverted introvert? What are some examples? I would love for you to share your thoughts in the comments below!

You might like:

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10 Signs That You're an 'Extroverted' Introvert

Sometimes, when you read about what introversion means, you feel like someone is spying on your life. Yes, you do love being alone. You hate making shallow small talk. And spending too much time around other people leaves you feeling drained, irritable, and sometimes even physically unwell.

Yet other aspects of introversion don’t resonate with you at all. You have plenty of friends. You enjoy meeting new people. And even though you prefer meaningful conversation, you’re actually pretty good at making light chitchat.

You’re starting to wonder if you’re really an introvert.

What Is an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert?

Enter the “extroverted” introvert.

The extroverted introvert is known by many names. Some call it an “outgoing introvert” or “social” introvert. Others argue that this is ambiversion.

So what does “extroverted introvert” really mean?

The thing to understand about introversion and extroversion is they are not all-or-nothing traits. Think of these two temperaments as being on a spectrum. Some people fall closer to the extreme ends, making them either very introverted or very extroverted. Most people are closer to the middle, which gives them qualities of both introversion and extroversion.

If you think of yourself as an extroverted introvert, it probably means you’re an introvert at heart — but you may be more outgoing than other introverts because your personality is more middle-of-the-spectrum.

Signs You’re an ‘Extroverted Introvert’

Are you an extroverted introvert? If so, you’ll recognize yourself in these 10 signs.

1. Your energy level is closely tied to your environment.

You’re sensitive to your surroundings. It matters how your environment looks, what kind of music is playing, how many people are present, and the noise level. The ambiance of a place can either energize or drain you, depending on if it fits your preferences. A loud rock concert in a crowded stadium might be overwhelming — but an up-close-and-personal acoustic set at your favorite club is soothing.

2. You find people to be both intriguing and exhausting.

People watching? Yes. Meeting new people and hearing their life stories? Fascinating. Spending almost every night hanging out with friends? Not a chance. Outgoing introverts enjoy meeting new people but can only endure so much socializing. After a busy weekend or a long day at work, you may feel the need to disappear and recharge by being alone or with just one other person.

3. Certain people and interactions drain you while others recharge you.

You have a few friends who you could hang out with for practically forever. It seems like you never run out of things to talk about. Being with them is easy. You actually feel better after spending time with them, not drained — and you act pretty outgoing around them. Other people tire or bore you and you need to get away. Being alone is better than settling for second-rate company.

4. You can be charming but also deeply introspective and reflective.

You make small talk when it’s expected of you because you know it can lead to deeper, more authentic conversation. People feel comfortable around you, and you easily get others talking and opening up about themselves. When you’re out with friends, you make sure everyone’s having a good time. However, most people don’t realize how “in your head” you really are. Although you appear easy-going, your mind is always running.

5. When you feel rested and recharged, you reach out to others.

Often, you’re the one who organizes social events for others. Playing the host is ideal for the extroverted introvert — it allows you to spend time with people on your own terms. But when you run out of energy, you’re out, and like a true introvert, all you want is a little hibernation at home.

6. You need time to warm up in social situations.

Your first impression belies your real personality. At first, you come across as quiet and reserved. But once you feel comfortable, you have no trouble chatting. You won’t spill your life story or divulge your insecurities to someone you’ve just met, but you will reveal intimate details once trust is built up. The better someone gets to know you, the more “extroverted” you seem.

7. It actually takes less energy to say what’s on your mind than to make small talk.

True extroverts rarely struggle with what to say. It’s easy from them to make chitchat — and talk with ease about virtually any topic. But not so for most introverts. Many introverts find it difficult to force small talk. They’d rather talk about big ideas or connect in an honest, authentic way. This is especially true of extroverted introverts. It’s far easier for them to say what’s on their mind than to fake a rousing discussion about the weather.

8. You’re selectively social.

Although you gain a lot of satisfaction from your relationships, unlike a true extrovert, you don’t have the energy to maintain a large social network. Plus, you don’t click with just anybody. So you make your limited “people” energy count by investing it into just a few close relationships.

9. You have no interest in trying to prove yourself in a crowd of strangers.

At networking events or parties, you’re not someone who “works the room.” Nor do you feel the need to draw a lot of attention to yourself in social situations. Yes, you see the value in making connections with others, and you especially love those rare moments when you meet a like-minded soul. But you’ll probably never be the most popular person in the room — and you’re okay with that.

10. You’re often confused for an extrovert.

Your friends and family don’t buy that you’re an introvert because you’re just so social. In fact, it may have taken you a while to realize that you’re an introvert — because you play the extrovert so well. Now you find yourself constantly having to explain your introversion and how you get your energy. Unfortunately, most people don’t get it.

Keep in mind that there’s no wrong way to do introversion — and we all act introverted at times and extroverted at others. You can be outgoing and still be an introvert. It’s all about understanding your needs and honoring your own style, even if that means being the life of the party one night and then binge watching Netflix alone the next.

You might like:

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Extrovert: who is it, signs, difference with introverts

Dividing people into extroverts and introverts began about 100 years ago. We tell you who an extrovert is, what are its disadvantages and advantages, and how such a person can succeed in a career

Who is an extrovert

An extrovert is a sociable, expressive person with an active social position. His experiences and interests are directed to the outside world. Extroverts meet most of their needs through interaction with people. So they replenish energy, receive information and rest.

Extraversion is one of the main personality parameters. This is evidenced by the five-factor model of personality - the "Big Five". According to this theory, personality consists of five main dimensions: extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotionality, openness. Each of them has two poles. For example, extraversion is the opposite of introversion. Some people may lean towards one particular extreme, but most fall somewhere in between. In modern psychology, experts don't divide people into extroverts and introverts. According to research, each of us has traits of both personality types.

The history of the concept

The division of people into introverts and extroverts, as well as the terms "extroversion" and "introversion" was first proposed by the German scientist Carl Jung in the 1920s. According to Jung, extraversion is a behavioral type, and an extrovert person concentrates his interests on society. Introversion, on the other hand, is characterized by a focus on one's own thoughts and feelings.

As early as 1923, Jung recognized the existence of a third type, ambiversity, but did not include it in his typology of intro-extraversion. Carl Jung typed people in the direction of their life energy - libido. So, for extroverts, attention and pleasure is directed to objects, and for introverts, personal experience and subjective experiences are of paramount importance.

Jung's research was subsequently developed by the German-British psychologist Hans Eysenck. He developed his own three-factor theory of personality, in which he singled out three main personality dimensions. One of them is "introversion-extroversion". Eysenck argued that a person directs energy inward or outward - on other people, which determines the type of personality.

It is generally accepted that there are more extroverts in the world than introverts, but there are no exact statistics. Psychologists suggest that extroverts are more often "in sight", hence the conclusion that there are more of them. But adapted introverts can easily behave like extroverts.

Barry Smith, director of the Human Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Maryland, says that 68% of the world's population are ambiverts. Such people combine the traits of extraversion and introversion.

Signs of an extravert

American psychologists identify such signs of extraversion as:

  • the need to communicate regularly;
  • love of public speaking;
  • habit of speaking without thinking;
  • feeling of discomfort in silence;
  • love for noisy companies;
  • pronounced leadership qualities;
  • desire to please everyone;
  • desire to always be in the spotlight;
  • the pleasure of working in a team;
  • the ability to talk about one's feelings;
  • the presence of a wide circle of communication.

In 2015, American experts described two types of extroverts:

Agentive extroverts are persistent, purposeful, stubborn people. They care about career and personal success.

  • At work . They occupy leadership positions. They take on maximum responsibility, but do not always rationally distribute forces. Such people are able to quickly navigate and make decisions, but rarely think through steps ahead. It lacks patience and perseverance.
  • Alone . It is difficult for agentive extroverts to sit still, as their nature requires constant dynamics, new emotions and victories. It is important for such people to feel that something is happening around them.
  • In the circle of close people. Openly share emotions and experiences.
  • With strangers. Grab attention thanks to self-confidence. Becoming the leader of a group of strangers is a challenge for such people. An extrovert does not get tired of constantly being with someone, on the contrary, for him it is a comfortable environment.

Affiliative extroverts or "social butterflies". For these people, communication is the most important thing. Affiliative extroverts easily establish contact with people, they tend to have many friends and acquaintances. Among the main values ​​for this type of people are warm relationships.

  • At work. Team players. The best option for them is if the work is related to communication: many meetings and calls, business trips; responsibilities include organizational tasks and supervision of team members. For affiliative extroverts, the microclimate in the team is especially important.
  • Alone with yourself. Feel discomfort. In this they are similar to agentive extroverts - they restore energy through communication with people.
  • In the circle of close people. They try to build trusting relationships. Do not be afraid to talk about feelings and experiences. This is influenced by their main priority - high-quality communication.
  • With strangers. Quickly find a common language due to openness and sociability.

Pros and cons of extraversion

Extraversion helps in building a career, but it also has a negative impact on everyday life and communication with people. This was found out by American researchers during a survey in 2012. They compiled a general list of the pros and cons of extraversion.


  • Perseverance. The ability to achieve what you want even in difficult circumstances.
  • Self-confidence. This quality helps to start a conversation with strangers or people of higher status.
  • Flexible thinking. Quickly navigate and adapt to new circumstances - the routine of an extrovert. Without this, a person of this type can get bored.
  • Ability to make quick decisions. But this advantage has a downside - the decision will be rash. A typical extrovert does not like to think about something for a long time, weigh the pros and cons and find the most suitable option. He just knows how to make decisions quickly.
  • Openness.
  • Ability to communicate.
  • Potential for quality public speaking.
  • The ability to switch quickly.
  • Ability to grasp on the fly.


  • Obsession. Excessive persistence can turn into a significant disadvantage.
  • Selfishness turning into narcissism. An extrovert always wants to be the center of attention. He is interested in leading the process and eventually receiving praise. This can grow into hypertrophied vanity.
  • Restlessness.
  • Inability to plan.
  • Tendency to not see things through to the end. The reverse side of the ability to quickly switch from one task to another.
  • Forgetfulness.
  • Distracted attention.
  • Tendency to quickly change interests and priorities.

The difference between an extrovert and an introvert

An introvert is a person who tends to accumulate energy within himself. He chooses solitude and creation, concentrates on his own interests and intentions. Communication is not a priority for an introvert.

Colin DeYoung, a psychologist at the University of Minnesota, described the differences in the brains of extroverts and introverts. He found that extroverts have a more active dopamine reward system, so they need constant stimulation from the outside. That activity that brings pleasure to the extrovert and helps to satisfy the needs, the introvert irritates, and sometimes depresses. Differences in the work of the reward system lead to the fact that introverts are the least prone to sociability and an active lifestyle. But they have a more “quiet” neurotransmitter, acetylcholine, that works faster. He is responsible for all human movements. Acetylcholine brings the brain out of a state of rest when it is necessary to act, and vice versa, inhibits the transmission of impulses when it is time to concentrate.

Other American researchers use the term "adventurism gene". Extroverts are distinguished by the desire to get new experiences. For an introvert, on the contrary, interaction with people, activity, quickly turns into overexcitation and fatigue. Therefore, unlike extroverts, they are less prone to sociability and an active lifestyle.

To determine what type of personality you have, take the TED test (or this one in Russian, but you have to answer more than 200 questions). And with the help of the Myers-Briggs indicator, you can more specifically determine your personality type and strengths.

Can you change your personality type?

Susan Kane in the book Introverts. How to use the features of your character "writes:" Introversion and extraversion are formed in the first months of life or even during pregnancy. By the age of four months, a baby can most likely be assigned to one of two groups. Genetics play a significant role in determining personality, but people can become more or less extroverted.

To develop extraversion , researchers offer to participate in interest clubs or engage in favorite hobbies in a group. So it will be possible to expand the circle of communication and interests, make new acquaintances and improve communication skills with each lesson.

To reduce extraversion, scientists recommend practicing meditation to give yourself the opportunity to focus on your own thoughts and feelings. It pays to spend more time alone. Walk in nature, read, cook and eat alone, reflect. The bridge from extrovert to introvert is journaling. Writing allows you to better understand your own feelings.

How to raise an extroverted child?

Psychotherapist and communication trainer Ivan Pritulyak notes that extroverted teens are prone to aggressive behavior and disregard for social norms. This is accompanied by complex and strong emotions of the child. The expert recommends talking to children about how they feel and why they may behave aggressively. Every day a child experiences a full range of feelings. For the development of a healthy psyche, this entire spectrum must be recognized and experienced.

“It is highly likely that introverted parents will have an extroverted child. In this case, parents should try to maintain their peace of mind and not move away from the child, ”says Pritulyak.

Introverts are good listeners. It is important for extroverts to discuss what is in their hearts, to experience emotions. “An introverted parent is able to build a trusting and close relationship with an extroverted child by listening. The child will say everything himself, ”adds Pritulyak. He should be able to communicate when and with whom he wants - ask a stranger about something on the bus or say hello to neighbors. Such communication can confuse an introverted parent, but it is enough to ensure that communication does not threaten or harm the child. It is also important to provide extroverted children with regular physical activity. Such a child needs to expend energy, and not accumulate it in himself.

Where it is better for an extrovert to work

It is important for an extrovert to find a place where the hierarchy levels are clearly defined in order to methodically rise to a managerial position. According to Russian psychological studies of pedagogy, our social role depends, among other things, on the type of personality. The need for frequent communication directs the extrovert to work in areas where it is necessary to contact people.

Jobs for extroverts:

  • HR specialist. For the typical extrovert, this is the perfect job. For a recruiting manager, every working day consists of communicating with dozens of job seekers.
  • Journalist. The applicant must be, first of all, sociable. Extroverts have good potential for building social connections.
  • Teacher. Being the center of attention is the most comfortable state for an extrovert. This is one of the tasks of the teacher - to keep the attention of students. And each lesson is a small public performance.
  • Tour guide. He should become an interlocutor for a dozen tourists. In addition to the fact that you need to establish a dialogue with the group, the guide should be the center of attention throughout the tour, giving information about the sights. It's also a kind of public speaking.
  • Sales manager. Its main task is to interest a potential buyer. This is not only the art of communication, but also the ability to convince.
  • Event leader. Such work can leave a psychological trauma if a person is not ready for a long public speaking. In addition, the presenter must constantly stir up the interest of the audience and keep its attention on himself.

Find out if you can find a job and build a career according to your temperament and personality type, read here.

Is an extrovert a bad leader?

The leader must be sociable, self-confident, energetic and active. However, scientists from Harvard, Stanford and the University of Chicago found the opposite. Their research shows that introverts perform best in leadership positions because they:

  • think over their words and decisions, which does not allow them to take rash actions;
  • are good listeners. An extrovert often ignores opinion from the outside and makes a personal intuitive decision, because he is not able to concentrate and carefully think about anything. Due to the developed critical thinking and the habit of "digging deep" introverts have a good understanding of people, their actions and motives;
  • is more effective than extroverts in leading the process in times of crisis. Introverts do not sow panic, but approach problems rationally. This is good for the team.

The introvert's management style is called "servant leadership". Such a leader empowers employees, increases their areas of responsibility, boldly delegates and provides opportunities for growth. For an accurate understanding of the leadership style of extroverts and introverts, the researchers suggest comparing Barack Obama and Donald Trump - how they behave and how they act as the President of the United States. So, Obama is known for his thoughtfulness and accurate statements. He was often criticized for being arrogant and aloof. Such traits are characteristic of introverts. The American media talked about one of Obama's habits: after meetings and receptions in the evening, he closed himself in his office at the White House and sorted out papers alone.

The opposite political figure is Donald Trump. Expressive and sharp in performances, he plays with intonations and keeps the audience in suspense throughout his speech. American psychologists note that among Trump's prepared provocations was impromptu, a form of public speaking characteristic of an extrovert, which is born due to the strong expressiveness of the individual. Of the typical signs of an extrovert, Trump is characterized by perseverance, stubbornness and impulsiveness.

10 Uncomfortable Signs You're an Extroverted Introvert Thought Catalog

We already know about introverts and extroverts, but what about extraverted introverts? Here are 10 signs that you fall into this category, and not the main two:

1. You deliberately set aside time only for yourself after communication in the company.

You have to go to your best friend's birthday and you want to go there, but you also know that after that you will need to be alone - to recharge.

2. You are comfortable with people, but most of the time you prefer to be alone.

If necessary, you are excellent in communication, but you yourself choose situations when this communication with others is not required.

3. You are a cheerful and social person - for a certain amount of time.

Extroverted introverts seem to have a shelf life for their social activities. You have fun with your friends, but after a while you need to escape, retire for a while. It's not that you don't like this pastime or these people. It just drains you emotionally.

4. People see you as an extrovert.

You can be the soul of the company, everyone is interested in you, you have many friends, you actively spend time with them. And that's why everyone considers you an extrovert, although they do not know that you are an extrovert only for a short time.

5. You have to set yourself up to meet people - even if they bring you pleasure.

Even when you know you're going out with friends, you need to set yourself up for being around other people.

6. You like to be alone - dosed.

After the work week, you are planning a Friday evening alone with your bed, TV series and pizza, but on Saturday you are already ready to meet your friends.

7. You like it when people pay attention to you, but only when you're in a good mood.

Learn more