Values identification exercise
What Are Your Values? - Decision-Making Skills from MindTools.com
Deciding What's Most Important in Life
How would you define your values?
Before you answer this question, you need to know what, in general, values are.
Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.
They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.
When the things that you do and the way you behave match your values, life is usually good – you're satisfied and content. But when these don't align with your personal values, that's when things feel... wrong. This can be a real source of unhappiness.
This is why making a conscious effort to identify your values is so important.
Click here to view a transcript of this video.
How Values Help You
Values exist, whether you recognize them or not. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your values – and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.
If you value family, but you have to work 70-hour weeks in your job, will you feel internal stress and conflict? And if you don't value competition, and you work in a highly competitive sales environment, are you likely to be satisfied with your job?
In these types of situations, understanding your values can really help. When you know your own values, you can use them to make decisions about how to live your life, and you can answer questions like these:
- What job should I pursue?
- Should I accept this promotion?
- Should I start my own business?
- Should I compromise, or be firm with my position?
- Should I follow tradition, or travel down a new path?
So, take the time to understand the real priorities in your life, and you'll be able to determine the best direction for you and your life goals!
Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don't have strict limits or boundaries. Also, as you move through life, your values may change. For example, when you start your career, success – measured by money and status – might be a top priority. But after you have a family, work-life balance may be what you value more.
As your definition of success changes, so do your personal values. This is why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should continuously revisit this, especially if you start to feel unbalanced... and you can't quite figure out why.
As you go through the exercise below, bear in mind that values that were important in the past may not be relevant now.
Defining Your Values
When you define your personal values, you discover what's truly important to you. A good way of starting to do this is to look back on your life – to identify when you felt really good, and really confident that you were making good choices.
Step 1: Identify the times when you were happiest
Find examples from both your career and personal life. This will ensure some balance in your answers.
- What were you doing?
- Were you with other people? Who?
- What other factors contributed to your happiness?
Step 2: Identify the times when you were most proud
Use examples from your career and personal life.
- Why were you proud?
- Did other people share your pride? Who?
- What other factors contributed to your feelings of pride?
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Step 3: Identify the times when you were most fulfilled and satisfied
Again, use both work and personal examples.
- What need or desire was fulfilled?
- How and why did the experience give your life meaning?
- What other factors contributed to your feelings of fulfillment?
Step 4: Determine your top values, based on your experiences of happiness, pride, and fulfillment
Why is each experience truly important and memorable? Use the following list of common personal values to help you get started – and aim for about 10 top values. (As you work through, you may find that some of these naturally combine. For instance, if you value philanthropy, community, and generosity, you might say that service to others is one of your top values.)
Being the best
Making a difference
Step 5: Prioritize your top values
This step is probably the most difficult, because you'll have to look deep inside yourself. It's also the most important step, because, when making a decision, you'll have to choose between solutions that may satisfy different values. This is when you must know which value is more important to you.
- Write down your top values, not in any particular order.
- Look at the first two values and ask yourself, "If I could satisfy only one of these, which would I choose?" It might help to visualize a situation in which you would have to make that choice. For example, if you compare the values of service and stability, imagine that you must decide whether to sell your house and move to another country to do valuable foreign aid work, or keep your house and volunteer to do charity work closer to home.
- Keep working through the list, by comparing each value with each other value, until your list is in the correct order.
If you have a tough time doing this, consider using Paired Comparison Analysis to help you. With this method, you decide which of two options is most important, and then assign a score to show how much more important it is. Since it's so important to identify and prioritize your values, investing your time in this step is definitely worth it.
Step 6: Reaffirm your values
Check your top-priority values, and make sure that they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.
- Do these values make you feel good about yourself?
- Are you proud of your top three values?
- Would you be comfortable and proud to tell your values to people you respect and admire?
- Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice isn't popular, and it puts you in the minority?
When you consider your values in decision making, you can be sure to keep your sense of integrity and what you know is right, and approach decisions with confidence and clarity. You'll also know that what you're doing is best for your current and future happiness and satisfaction.
Making value-based choices may not always be easy. However, making a choice that you know is right is a lot less difficult in the long run.
Identifying and understanding your values is a challenging and important exercise. Your personal values are a central part of who you are – and who you want to be. By becoming more aware of these important factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation.
Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you value most. When many options seem reasonable, it's helpful and comforting to rely on your values – and use them as a strong guiding force to point you in the right direction.
10-Minute Exercise to Increase Your SuccessApril 11, 2013 | Barb Carr
How are you showing up at work? In your personal relationships? For yourself? How you show up in the world is determined by your core values.
It doesn’t take years of self-reflection to uncover your core values. This simple exercise can help you determine them so you can start aligning your personal goals with them. How long will it take? About 10 minutes, well worth the investment!
Grab a pen and piece of paper and let’s go!
1.Determine Your Core Values
From the list below, choose and write down every core value that resonates with you. Do not overthink your selection. As you read through the list, simply write down the words that feel like a core value to you personally. If you think of a value you possess that is not on the list, write it down.
Being the Best
Making a Difference
2.Group All Similar Values Together from the List of Values You Just Created
Group them in a way that makes sense to you, personally. Create a maximum of five groupings. If you have more than five groupings, drop the least important grouping(s). See the example below.
|Flexibility||Making a Difference||Optimism|
3.Choose One Word Within Each Group that Represents the Label for the Entire Group
Again, do not overthink your labels – there are no right or wrong answers. You are defining the answer that is right for you. See the example below – the label chosen for the grouping is bolded.
|Flexibility||Making a Difference||Optimism|
4.Add a Verb to Each Value Label
Add a verb to each value so you can see what it looks like as an actionable core value. For example:
Live in freedom.
Seek opportunities for making a difference.
Act with mindfulness.
This will guide you in the actions you need to take to feel like you are truly living on purpose.
5. Finally, Post Your Core Values Where You See Them when Faced with Decisions
Where should you post them? Write your core values in order of priority in your planner, so they are available as an easy reference when you are faced with decisions. Put them on a sticky on the edge of your computer screen. Or make a background with them on it for your cell phone. For example:
1. Live in freedom.
2. Act with mindfulness.
3. Promote well-being.
4. Multiply happiness.
5. Seek opportunities for making a difference.
Now Live Your Core Values!
If we can get to the place where we show up as our genuine selves,
and let each other see who we really are,
the awe-inspiring ripple effect
will change the world.
Terrie M. Williams
The most important thing you can do for your personal success today is to know your core values and use them as your guide.
Knowing core values is important because when we need to choose or decide something, you can do so easily by simply determining if the choice lines up with your true core values. A life lined-up with personal values is a well-lived, purpose-filled life.
Want to learn more? Join us for the Work/Life Balance track and the next Global TapRooT® Summit!
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Questions and Techniques for Clarifying Values :: European School of Coaching
Talking about values requires deep rapport (trust) between coach and client. And even then, asking questions directly can be difficult. Therefore, you can invite the client to dream up. There are many games like this one. Here we present only some of them.
- Suggest to the client: “Imagine being an animal for one day. "What?" .
- Then the next question: "What qualities do you like about him?" .
- Then: "How do they manifest themselves in your life?"
- And finally: "What values do they reflect?"
- If you were asked to become a tree for one year, what kind of tree would you be? What qualities do you like about him? How do they show up in your life? What values do they reflect?
Job. Do this exercise with yourself (in writing). What did you find out for yourself ? What has changed or added compared to the result of the previous exercise?
If you had to go to the desert or to a deserted island, what would be your five favorite books to take with you?
- What five favorite music CDs would you take with you?
- What five items would you take with you?
- What are your five favorite films?
- What are your three favorite jokes?
- What five items would you take with you?
What are your five favorite movies?
What are your three favorite jokes?
What are your three favorite fairy tale characters?
Imagine this is the last day of your life.
- What advice would you give to your friends, loved ones, to the whole world? What would you like them to appreciate? Imagine watching your own funeral from your portrait on the wall. What do you want to hear from the people present? What do you think they are saying?
- Recall three powerful highlights in your life. What happened then? What values did you follow in those moments?
- Name three people you admire? What qualities do you admire about them? How does this manifest itself in your life? What values does this correspond to?
- What must be absolutely present in your life? Values you can't do without?
- Who are you at your best moments? What qualities do you value in friends? Why are these qualities so important?
Values Exercise (by Marilyn Atkinson)
These exercises bring out values from a variety of perspectives (i. e. from an internal and external perspective, looking from the past, future and present moment, within the negative and positive, etc.). Each of them opens a unique "road to the truth" for the client. In the course of work, these exercises can be used both individually and collectively.
1. PEAK TIMES
Identify those special peak moments that were especially satisfying. Concentrate on a specific "moment", discard the details. What was important at that moment? What values were associated with this moment? What values accompanied your life at that time?
2. SUPPRESSED VALUES
Recall a time when you "wanted" to get into trouble (look at the feelings and circumstances, then flip the picture and identify the opposite feeling to find the value...... Is the downside value...?) Think of a time when you felt angry, frustrated, or depressed (look at the feelings and circumstances, and then flip the picture and identify the opposite feeling to find the value. .. Is the other side of that a value... ?)
3. ESSENTIAL NEEDS
What else in life, besides basic needs, do you need to achieve or have? What values should be unconditionally present in your life, without which you would lose a part of yourself?
4. OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR
We all experience obsessive behavior. When we insist on something of our own, when the situation can be called “either it will be my way, or it won’t,” then this is an obsessive manifestation of our values. Friends and family can help us identify these things (i.e. You're a cleanliness freak! You always need to be the center of attention!). What do other people annoy you with and what drives them crazy? (Focus on the value, not its mutation.) What can you say about yourself?
5. JOY AND SATISFACTION
What in life gives you the greatest joy and satisfaction and gives you new strength? What is the importance of these things?
6. IDENTIFYING THE VALUES IN THE CLIENT'S LIFE BALANCE WHEEL
Find at least one value in each area of the balance wheel. Each area can have as many values as you wish. For example, Health:
What is important to you regarding your health?
Why is it so important to you?
Why is this so important to you?
Use the same question format in the following categories.
Financial situation, Love relationships and close people, Family, Entertainment and recreation, Spiritual aspects, Work and career.
What common themes are identified?
Desert Island Technique
Imagine that you won a trip to a desert island for a month/3 months. But there are limits to winning - you can only take a certain amount of things with you. All basic needs will be met on the island, it is warm, there is a lot of food . .. You can take any 5 items with you to choose from. For example, 5 books or 5 music or 5 objects or 5 movies or 5 friends...if you don't care about a category, bring something of your own.
And then see what is the main value of what you have chosen for you? What is important to you in this? Why? And then we combine the values. See if there are any common values. And if you take everything together, what are the main values for you in all this? And it happens that there is one key value or different areas of life.
Technique “Journey to the end of life” (“11th anniversary”)
Journey to the end of life, for the anniversary, when a person is already so many years old, where are all the questions, even the most important and complex ones have long been irrelevant at all. Let's imagine that you are the client who has come in with a request to sort out their priorities and wants to see how their life unfolds. Z. And now you are transported to your anniversary. You are already there at an age when all the issues that are important to you now, and even the most exciting ones, have long been resolved. Those who have lived a life that you are satisfied with, be proud of. The best way to live! Some people like the idea of looking at themselves at 70, some want to—why not—100. Away from today by 15-20 years (for 50 years and more). And now you are there, at your holiday, and there you see the inscription “11th anniversary!”. What do you want to be when you are that old? Look at yourself, feel this age, and what am I? You see the best option: excellent physical health for this age, you look good, etc. This is your anniversary and you may notice how satisfied you are with your life. Remembering life, you can say to yourself: "Well done!". And some other important words. And notice what is important to you now at this age. And when you notice what is most important for you, you can notice who are the most important people who surround you . .. (Someone may have a big anniversary, someone may have a chamber one.) Invited, who surrounds you. What is important to them in me (what they see, say). And if you could now transport yourself and look at yourself through the eyes of these people, what is valuable in you for them? If they were toasting or thinking about you, what value do they see in you? (You can go from one person to another.) And then you can stand so that you can see your whole life marked by the most important milestones. What were the most important, bright, main events in your life? The most important events. The points where you made a choice that you are proud of. The moments when you were most yourself. What you dare to. And when you look at these very, most important moments of your life, you can also look at the most joyful, bright (if these are not the same, but different) moments, from which you received joy in life, what was most interesting to you . You can also look at what really supported you in life. And how it enabled you to keep your most basic values. And how did you create such an environment around you, an atmosphere to be as close as possible to what is important to you? Tips for yourself. And when you look at all this, you can return back to that self who sits on the anniversary and accepts congratulations. And turn from there to yourself today with parting words, blessings, advice, good wishes. And when you're done, return to the coaching position. We are planning our first steps.
This technique can also be used when working with a company: company anniversary - let's look at the company in 15 years... But only with those people who are committed (founders, top managers, etc.).
Further values can be decomposed into areas of importance (4 areas of life). And when there are 3 areas, the 4th one appears automatically.
Sincerely, psychologist, coach Evgeniya Poroshina.
- Values unite, Beliefs can divide
- Core value awareness method
- Technique for modeling your future
4 exercises to prioritize
Career and Self-RealizationKnow YourselfPractices how to
Each of us prioritizes in our own way, depending on our personal characteristics or personal history. But sometimes we ignore our deepest desires. If you experience an acute or vague feeling of dissatisfaction, then your needs are not clear to you yourself or they are suppressed by fears and erroneous ideas about yourself.
Coach Maria Makarushkina has been working with businessmen and politicians for 15 years. “Many men and women live their lives on autopilot that they can neither turn off nor reprogram,” says the coach. “Sometimes it happens because they once said no to their true desires, and more often because they simply did not have the courage to say yes to them.”
Art therapist Varvara Sidorova agrees with this: “As soon as we move away from our true values, suppress our needs, we open the doors to disappointment and apathy. Prolonged lack of contact with yourself can even lead to depression.
Systemic family psychotherapist Inna Khamitova notes that the loss of orientation also happens within a couple. Therefore, it is often necessary to deal with prioritization by two people.
Personologist and transactional analyst Vadim Petrovsky, who specializes in working relationships, adds that “demotivation in the profession also indicates a lack of attention to one's personal needs. And only if we manage to identify them, we can finally take the helm and direct our lives in the right direction.
With that in mind, here are four exercises created by our four experts to help you prioritize.
Self-knowledge. Write down your desires
Think about what you want now and write down the first thing that comes to mind.
Maria Makarushkina is sure that the word “yes” is the main driving force behind our life script. It is important to say “yes” to your dreams, ambitions and the voice of intuition. It's important to listen to yourself. She suggests doing a simple exercise that will inspire you to take further action and help you sort out tangled thoughts and desires.
Take a sheet of paper and sign it "My main wishes". Then fill out this list:
keyword No. 1
keyword No. 2
keyword No. 3
The keyword No. 5
Keyword No. 4
Then, using a keyword (eg "sea", "position"), write down each desire in the order that seems most appropriate to you. These words will become guidelines for later life and will help you in making any future decisions.
Relationships in a couple. Review your love relationships
“A couple is a changeable structure,” explains Inna Khamitova. “Even if its foundation is solid, the rest of this structure needs constant repair and additions. This, in fact, is the charm of a relationship in a couple, but this is also the reason for their instability. That is why it is so important to discuss the situation that has developed in a couple if signs of boredom and dissatisfaction begin to appear.
1. Time to listen to yourself
Ask yourself some questions and write down the answers. What is missing in your relationship today: time, signs of attention, desire, surprise? What important thing have you lost over the years of living together? When was the last time you had a good time together? What exactly are you doing for relationships? When you have decided on your wishes for the future for your couple, share your thoughts with your partner.
2. Time to listen to each other
Find a moment when you are both calm and relaxed and ask your partner if they are ready to listen to you. After getting his consent, start the conversation by talking about what you find most enjoyable in your relationship, what pleases you the most. Then name all the things that you lack, while emphasizing that it is about your personal expectations. Use only the pronouns "I" and "me" (not "you"). Finally, ask your partner to think about your words and invite him to talk about it again later, when he himself comes to some conclusions.
3. Time to share your thoughts
When each of you has shared what he wants from a relationship, try together to figure out how to satisfy these desires. But you don’t have to come to a decision right away, you shouldn’t push yourself and your partner — everyone has the right to their own rhythm.
4. Time to sum up the first results
Have your relations improved? Did you feel like you were being heard? What else can you do to make you feel better together? The purpose of this exercise is not to spot the other's faults and list all the failures and omissions, but to continue to work together on relationships in the future and make new commitments to each other.
Work. Identify Your Unconscious Attitudes
Do you feel the need for recognition, find it difficult to say no, and are you unable to make good use of your time?
“Transactional analysis shows that at work, each of us is controlled by one or another internal “driver”, says Vadim Petrovsky. There are five such attitudes, and in most cases one or two of them determine our reactions and actions. If it is possible to determine what they are, then their influence noticeably weakens. And then you can enjoy your work.
“Be perfect” mindset
Makes us pay close attention to detail and prevents us from taking risks. It leads to the appearance of anxiety, the formation of a defensive position and fawning over the leadership.
Your task: learn to take calculated risks.
“Try hard” mindset
Causes “work” and “hard work” to become synonymous, making the enjoyment of work and the ease of achieving results seem unacceptable. It breeds a sacrificial attitude towards work and leads to burnout.
Your task: learn how to distribute responsibilities and choose what you are most successful at.
Make others happy
Leads to dependency on other people whose interests are ultimately more important than one's own. It creates a position of submission, causes frustration (due to unspoken anger) and does not allow promotion.
Your task: to learn to say "no" (exorbitant workloads) and say "yes" (to your own pleasure).
"Be strong" mindset
Leads real stoics who are ready to move in a given direction with clenched teeth. It forms the Teflon-type behavior (“water off a duck's back from me”), which is very popular with tyrant bosses and shameless colleagues.
Your task: listen to your feelings (emotions and desires) and openly declare your rights.
Peculiar to anxious people who find it difficult to concentrate. The thought that they are wasting their time terrifies them. This attitude negatively affects self-esteem and does not allow success due to a lack of concentration and perseverance.
Your task: slow down and calmly assess the situation, having decided on your desires and skills.
Creativity. Create an album of your talents
According to Varvara Sidorova, “something brings joy to each of us: hobbies, communication, friends, travel, learning and development, favorite animal, drawing, dancing, or maybe you like to put things in order, logically think or walk alone."
Creative abilities are hidden in everyone, and it is important to learn to see and develop them. When we — unknowingly or because of insecurity — do not use them, we feel empty inside ourselves and complain about the lack of motivation. And when we realize our talents, then, on the contrary, meaning returns to life, and our self-esteem increases. Here is a simple exercise that will allow you to bring out your abilities.
Have a free day or evening. Put on some nice music, don't let anything distract you. Take a notebook or album, a pen, pencils. Prepare something that will help you think about your past: a notebook, a photo album, letters, postcards, souvenirs . .. Someone will also need old magazines, scissors and glue.
Relax and go in search of that episode in your life when you experienced strong positive emotions (pride, joy, pleasure). These are not necessarily moments of triumph - maybe you enjoyed walking in the woods or cooking dinner.
List all these moments of and note the commonality between them: I entertained the company (played the flute, gave advice to a friend). Paste a photo, letter, or picture into an album that symbolizes each of these moments. Or make a sketch.
Determine which of your abilities gave you pleasure in each of the cases.
Think how you could realize and develop these abilities in everyday life.
Write in your notebook that you promise yourself to use your talents regularly.
Text: Elza Lestvitskaya Photo credit: Getty Images He was offended”
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