Narcissistic and emotional abuse
Examples, Signs, and Effects — Talkspace
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
The term describes a type of emotional abuse that comes from a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People with NPD have low empathy and see others as beneath them, which can lead to harmful, toxic, abusive behaviors.
Narcissistic abuse can be incredibly difficult to endure. Someone with NPD may use insults, threats, and accusations to manipulate you into doing what they want. Learning more about narcissistic abuse and talking with an online therapist or provider can help you cope. The sooner you have a better understanding, you can begin the healing after emotional abuse from someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Read on to learn about the signs of narcissistic abuse and to understand more about the damaging effects of being in a relationship with someone who has NPD.
Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
People with NPD have a constant need for admiration. Over time, narcissistic behavior can isolate a victim and damage their confidence. It’s tactics like these that allow someone with NPD to control their victim and gain more power in the abusive relationship.
“Abuse in any form is difficult to discern, but narcissistic abuse is particularly hard to notice, as the toxic relationship and the abuser can present perfect in the beginning. Oftentimes, narcissistic abusers can manipulate the truth or gaslight, which can in turn force you to question your own sanity, integrity, or truth.”
Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C, MSW
Signs of narcissistic abuse include:
It’s not unusual for people with NPD to shower you with compliments and affection. While this attention may seem positive at first, it’s actually a form of emotional manipulation. A love-bomber might give you expensive gifts or tell you what you want to hear. This is a way they can earn your trust and eventually control you.
When called out, it’s not unusual for a narcissistic abuser to deny hurtful behaviors, pretend they don’t remember the events being described or accuse you of lying or not understanding the way things “really” happened.
This manipulation tactic, known as narcissistic gaslighting, is designed to make you doubt yourself. It can make you more vulnerable to future narcissistic behavior and abuse.
It’s common for someone who’s a narcissist to test your boundaries or ignore them entirely. Someone with NPD might read through your text messages, follow you around, or do things that you’ve asked them not to do. Attempts to reinforce boundaries may be met with arguments, anger, or accusations. If you are experiencing this, learn how to set boundaries with a narcissist.
Instead of taking the blame for mistakes, a person with NPD may project bad behaviors onto you. A common manipulation technique is DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim, and Offender. By shifting blame onto their victim, narcissistic abusers can deny guilt and damage credibility.
Some criticism is normal in a relationship, but a narcissistic abuser can make you feel like everything you do is wrong. Someone with NPD might criticize your appearance, behavior, and even the sound of your voice.
Examples of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse can take many forms. This type of abuse can come from a narcissistic parent or other family members, a romantic partner, a friend, or even a boss or co-worker.
Some common examples of narcissistic abuse include:
- Withholding: People who are narcissists may withhold money, affection, or even communication in an attempt to punish their victim. The silent treatment is a frequently-seen form of withholding.
- Emotional blackmail: In an abusive relationship, your own emotions can be used against you. When you don’t do what an abuser wants, they may try to make you feel guilty or fearful.
- Insults: Verbal abuse like name-calling, harsh criticism, and other insults are ways for those with narcissistic personality disorder to chip away at a victim’s self-esteem. Abusers will often try to disguise their behaviors as sarcasm or jokes.
- Malicious gossip: Someone with NPD may deliberately spread lies about you or your behavior. Slander, lies, and damage to your reputation can all be ways to intentionally isolate you from others.
- Sabotage: Narcissism may cause someone to take steps to sabotage your career, relationships, or any other aspect of your life. This can be a way to keep you under their thumb and strengthen their power over you.
- Accusations: When you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser, you may be accused of lying, stealing, cheating, or other negative behaviors. Being wrongfully accused can put you on the defensive, which can help deflect from the behaviors and actions of someone with NPD.
Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse has a negative impact on both your physical and your emotional well-being. Being in an abusive relationship with someone who has NPD often can have lasting effects, even if the narcissistic abuser is no longer in your life.
“Narcissistic abusers can make you question your worth. It’s important to get support in order to learn how to own the truth, your truth, again, as narcissists manipulate and control swiftly. If you’re struggling, connect with a support group or a professional who can help you identify your boundaries while helping you rebuild your values, integrity, and self-esteem.”
Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C, MSW
The damaging effects of this abuse may include:
Anxiety and depression
Abusive behaviors don’t have the same effects on everyone, but after experiencing abuse from a narcissistic person, victims may struggle with fear, depression, or anxiety, even when they’re in ordinary, everyday situations.
Abusers frequently isolate victims, and that social isolation can increase the risk of depression. For many people who suffer at the hands of someone with NPD, it can be hard not to believe their narcissistic abuser’s negative comments, which can lead to feelings of worthlessness.
Post traumatic stress disorder
The trauma of narcissistic abuse can cause a person to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). People with PTSD may have a heightened anxiety response, always feeling like they’re on-guard. It’s common for them to have flashbacks of the abuse they’ve experienced and struggle with intense feelings of guilt and shame.
When you experience trauma, your brain releases stress hormones. Over time, this can have an impact on brain function. People who’ve experienced emotional abuse may develop memory issues or struggle to concentrate on tasks.
Not only can narcissistic abuse take a toll on your emotional well-being, it can also impact your physical health. The prolonged stress from abuse can cause minor physical symptoms, such as headaches and nausea, but it also might increase your risk for serious health issues like ulcers, neurological disorders, and heart disease.
Taking Steps to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse
Even though abusers don’t always harm victims in the same way, living through abuse can seriously affect you. Thankfully, even though narcissistic abuse can be intensely damaging, an abuse survivor can heal.
A narcissistic abuser might shatter your sense of self-worth, but you can work to rebuild your confidence and heal from the trauma you’ve experienced. It’s important to point out that if you’ve been abused and mistreated, you must remember that it’s not your fault. If your abuser is still in your life, you’ll have to set clear boundaries to protect yourself from harm in the future.
A mental health professional can help you to process what you’ve experienced and start the path to healing from narcissistic abuse. With the help of a therapist, you can learn to forgive yourself and find ways to cope with the negative effects of the abuse you endured. Although it will take time, therapy can help you lead a healthy and confident life, free from narcissistic abuse.
- Ritter K, Dziobek I, Preißler S et al. Lack of empathy in patients with narcissistic personality disorder.
- Harsey S, Freyd J. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender (DARVO): What Is the Influence on Perceived Perpetrator and Victim Credibility?.
- Radell M, Abo Hamza E, Daghustani W, Perveen A, Moustafa A.
- van der Kolk B. Posttraumatic stress disorder and the nature of trauma.
- Bremner J. Traumatic stress: effects on the brain.
- Rasheed N. Prolonged Stress Leads to Serious Health Problems: Preventive Approaches.
Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. Articles are extensively reviewed by our team of clinical experts (therapists and psychiatrists of various specialties) to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards. Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions. Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.
Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. Articles are extensively reviewed by our team of clinical experts (therapists and psychiatrists of various specialties) to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards.
Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.
Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.
Talkspace mental health services
Signs and Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome
Nobody should have to live in an emotionally abusive relationship. Unfortunately, people who are narcissistic are often difficult to identify, particularly within the highest levels of wealth and social status. Living with a narcissistic partner can lead to a condition known as narcissistic abuse syndrome, in which a person’s self-confidence and mental health are adversely affected. In this article, we’ll outline the signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse, focusing on the most affected among us – the wealthy and affluent. Anyone who has suffered through narcissistic abuse should seek high-end narcissistic abuse treatment.
WHAT IS NARCISSISTIC ABUSE?
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse perpetrated by someone who suffers from narcissism or sociopathy. These individuals have a tendency – whether conscious or unconscious – to use words and language in manipulative ways to damage, alter, or otherwise control their partner’s behaviour.
While all narcissistic abuse generally falls under the description of ‘thought control’ or ‘emotional manipulation,’ there are several ways that narcissists tend to go about this. Some narcissists use manipulative techniques like gaslighting to confuse and disorient their partners so they become more susceptible to their demands and their abuse.
NARCISSISM IN THE WEALTHY AND AFFLUENT PEOPLE
WHY NARCISSISM IS MORE COMMON AMONG THE UPPER CLASS
One group of people that is particularly prone to narcissistic tendencies is wealthy people and those in the public spotlight. These are people who live in more privileged environments. They have well-paid staff waiting on them around-the-clock. They immediately draw everyone’s attention when they walk into a room. People are always trying to impress them.
It is, therefore, not unusual for wealthy or famous people to become self-centered, entitled, and narcissistic. The truth is that wealthy people can control their environment, and this ability to control often spills into personal relationships. The environment they live in brings out whatever narcissistic tendencies they may have.
HOW NARCISSISM SHOWS UP IN THE WEALTHY AND AFFLUENT PEOPLE
It is easy to become swept up in the charms of a wealthy narcissist. At the beginning of a relationship, they will often shower a partner with attention and affection, often buying expensive gifts or taking them on holidays, making them feel like they’re the most important person in the world. However, when the person is a narcissist, this love doesn’t come from a good place. In fact, a narcissist will often look for a particular type of person as a target when scouting for partners. They want to find someone they can easily exploit, for example, someone who is not very self-confident. They’ll even play the victim to gain your sympathy, talking about how tough life has been for them or how badly they were treated in the past. Gradually, however, the affection is replaced with behaviors like gaslighting. It can start with an occasional snide comment or outright lie, and ramp up from there.
Partners of wealthy narcissists can start to feel they’re losing their minds. One minute their partner is complimenting them and the next they’re accusatory. Narcissists are very good at being charming when they have an outside audience, showing their true colors only in the privacy of the home, and very skillfully shifting the blame on you.
WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES OF BEING A PARTNER OF A WEALTHY NARCISSIST
If you are the partner of a wealthy narcissist, you can feel quite alone without understanding why. Wealthy women being abused by rich narcissistic husbands can be incredibly lonely. Your partner may be popular and loved in society, but in your private relationship they may have a narcissistic personality. What’s more, like many victims of narcissistic abuse, you may not realize that the way you’re being treated is not okay. It can be hard to recognize the abuse and even harder to open up about it. At an exclusive, private treatment center, you can talk about your deepest thoughts and emotions in complete confidentiality. In the right environment, a team of specialists can help you make sense of what is going on, why someone you love is treating you badly, and what you can do about it.
If you’re not sure whether your partner is subjecting you to narcissistic abuse, keep reading and learn how to identify the red flags.
WHAT IS NARCISSISTIC ABUSE SYNDROME?
Narcissistic abuse syndrome is a condition that occurs when a person has been living with or spending a significant amount of time with a narcissist.
People who are struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome often doubt their own self-worth or sanity. They are usually very concerned about their flaws, failures, and other shortcomings – regardless of whether or not these issues are real. In many cases, they are simply ideas that were planted in their mind by their narcissistic partner.
Those struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome often have a hard time identifying with reality. Since their minds will be so distorted and confused from the constant abuse and emotional manipulation, they may begin to question what they know to be real.
There are a number of symptoms that can affect someone who is struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome. Many of these symptoms mimic those that are seen in people struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, a condition that affects people who have lived through serious traumas. Some of these symptoms can include:
- Intrusive, invasive, or otherwise unwanted thoughts
- Triggers, which are physical or emotional responses to situations that are similar or reminiscent to traumatic situations
- Flashbacks – recurring instances in which the individual feels like they’re reliving a traumatic experience
- Avoiding people, places or situations associated with the narcissistic individual
- Feeling isolated, alone, or detached from others
- Feeling extremely alert or vigilant all the time
All of these symptoms can manifest as a result of the narcissist’s tendency to take some sense of satisfaction in invalidating, damaging, or hurting the other individual.
HOW TO SPOT THE WARNING SIGNS?
While the above symptoms may be easy for a narcissistic abuse survivor to observe, not everyone who is being affected by a narcissist may be willing or able to see them. In fact, many of the people who seek help after being hurt by a narcissist tend to approach a counselor hoping to improve themselves. They are often made to feel so ashamed, insecure, or delusional that they seek help for themselves instead of pointing out the problems of their partner.
Narcissistic abuse can also sometimes be observed in codependent relationships. Narcissists are able to create a relationship with others in which they are dependent upon the narcissist. Strangely, the narcissist tends to be equally as dependent on the other individual – they require them as an outlet for their emotional abuse. Putting themselves above another person makes the narcissist feel good.
If you think that someone might be struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome, these are some of the signs you might be able to spot:
- They say that they feel insane and often question themselves
- They lose trust in those close to them, such as family or friends
- They feel that the narcissistic person is the only person who deems them worthy
- They’re often feeling insecure or ashamed of their work or creativity
- They have developed self-doubt
- They have begun to lose their self-control, always doing what the narcissist wants them to
- They hold the narcissist in high esteem
If you think that you or someone that you love is struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome, it’s important that you seek help. Not only should you make a conscious effort to put the narcissist out of the picture, but you should seek some treatment. We have a comprehensive treatment approach for people from wealthy and affluent environments to help them recover from narcissistic abuse syndrome. Our exclusive treatment center is ideal for people who value confidentiality and privacy.
The narcissistic abuse syndrome treatment price for this luxury rehab reflects the high-quality care that we offer. Good luck and have a safe journey to recovery.
Narcissistic Abuse: 16 Dangerous Harbingers
Contrary to popular belief, narcissists don't really love themselves. In fact, all their actions are explained by the desire to hide a sense of shame. We can say that they are driven by shame.
They once created an idealized image of themselves that they expect others to admire. But deep down, narcissists constantly feel this gap between the real "I" and the fictional image. So every day they try to somehow fill this void. To fill this gap, narcissists resort to destructive defense mechanisms that hurt loved ones. nine0003
Many of their coping mechanisms are offensive to other people. This is where the specific term "narcissistic violence" comes from.
However, one must clearly distinguish between narcissists and people who have a tendency to offend. For example, individuals suffering from other mental illnesses (bipolar disorders, sociopathy, etc.), drug addicts can also abuse people, but they are not narcissists.
If you are a victim of bullying, there are three steps you need to take:
1. Make sure that insults are taking place.
2. Create your own support system.
3. Learn to protect yourself.
What is narcissistic violence?
Abuse can be emotional, mental, physical, financial, spiritual or sexual. Here are a few good examples that will help you understand this issue:
• Verbal abuse. They include humiliation, accusation, shame, demand, order, threat, criticism, sarcasm, resistance, blocking. Please note that many people periodically resort to such actions. However, with the narcissist, this practice is constant. nine0003
• Manipulation. The narcissist indirectly influences someone to achieve their goals. He acts like a wolf in sheep's clothing. At first, it seems to us that his words are harmless. But at the end of the conversation, humiliation and even hidden aggression and hostility are clearly felt.
• Emotional blackmail. It includes threat, anger, warning, intimidation or punishment. This is a form of manipulation that causes doubt in the victim. She feels fear, obligation and guilt. Her feelings seem to be in a fog, she cannot express them and interpret them correctly. nine0003
• Deliberate provocation. The narcissist deliberately behaves in such a way that the interlocutor turns out to be abnormal, and not himself. To do this, he resorts to many different tricks: for example, casually mentions being overweight, and then says that he was joking that the interlocutor reacts too violently to this news.
• Competition. He always tries to hurt the opponent in order to force him to enter into a tacit game. For the sake of victory, the narcissist will do anything, even cheating. nine0003
• A game of contrast. He specifically compares a person with someone else, emphasizing the superiority of the latter.
• Sabotage. He interferes in your affairs and relationships in order to bring chaos and discord into them and to obtain personal gain.
• Exploitation and objectification. He uses other people to achieve his goals, while not taking into account other people's desires and feelings.
• False. He resorts to deceit to avoid punishment and responsibility for his own mistakes. nine0003
• Retention (concealment). He deliberately hides money from a loved one, manipulates sexual relationships, sets the tone for communication and plays on affection.
• Neglect. Usually the narcissist neglects the needs of the child for whom he is responsible.
• Invasion of private property. He does not respect personal boundaries, takes your phone without asking, sits on your page on a social network, reads your mail. At the same time, he completely ignores requests for non-interference in personal life. nine0003
• Libel. He spreads gossip, tells false details about you to other people.
• Violence. It includes a variety of forms: from damage to your property, ending with a fight and emotional abuse.
• Financial claims. He controls your income, extorts money from you through manipulation, maybe even steals.
• Insulation. He forbids you to communicate with anyone other than himself, trying to maintain control and status of authority. nine0003
Narcissism manifests itself in many ways. It can range from ignoring your desires to violent aggression. As a rule, narcissists do not take responsibility for their own actions, always shifting the blame to the one they offended. They justify it by saying that the person provoked them.
Narcissists and sociopaths
There is a concept of "malignant narcissism". People suffering from this mental illness have a heightened level of self-love, a complete absence of disturbing guilt, and they are extremely hostile. Some people even show sadistic tendencies, that is, they feel pleasure from inflicting pain on another person. Their behavior is antisocial, and the resulting paranoia only adds fuel to the fire. nine0003
Malignant narcissism can resemble sociopathy. However, they are distinguished, first of all, by motives. The narcissist maintains the image he has created, while the sociopath constantly changes masks to fit the situation. Sociopaths do not attach to people, unlike narcissists. The latter do not want to be abandoned, they literally depend on relationships.
Only a person with adequate self-esteem can fight a narcissist. It will help you set boundaries and improve communication. nine0003
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Signs that you are a victim of narcissistic abuse. HRC PREOCENTER
Imagine this: your entire reality has been distorted. You have been mercilessly insulted, manipulated, deceived, ridiculed, humiliated into believing that you live in a fictional world. The person you thought you knew and the life you built together were shattered into a million little pieces. Signs that you are a victim of narcissistic abuse. nine0003
Your sense of self has been blurred, diminished. You were idealized, devalued, and then knocked off your pedestal. You may even have been replaced and discarded several times, only to be scratched behind the ear and lured back into a cycle of bullying that is even more excruciating than before. You may have been mercilessly harassed and bullied in order to stay with the abuser.
This was not a normal breakup or relationship: it was a set up for a covert and insidious murder of your psyche and sense of security in the world. However, there are no visible scars to tell the story. All you have is shards, broken memories and internal battle wounds. nine0143
It is imposed on those who lack empathy, display an excessive sense of entitlement, and engage in interpersonal exploitation to satisfy their own needs at the expense of the rights of others.
As a result of chronic abuse, survivors may struggle with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, complex PTSD, if they have had additional traumas such as abuse from narcissistic parents or even the so-called "narcissistic victim syndrome". nine0003
If you find yourself experiencing the following symptoms and you are or have had a toxic relationship with a partner who disrespects, devalues, and mistreats you, you may have just been terrorized by an emotional predator.
1. You perceive dissociation as a survival mechanism.
You feel emotionally or even physically separated from your surroundings, experiencing disruption in memory, perception, consciousness and sense of self. As Dr. Van der Kolk (2015) writes in his book The Body Keeps Score, “Dissociation is the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience is divided and fragmented so that emotions, sounds, sights, thoughts and physical sensations take on a life of their own.” nine0003
Dissociation can lead to emotional numbness in the face of dire circumstances. Overwhelming activities, obsessions, addictions, and repressions can become a way of life because they give you a way out of your current reality. Your brain finds ways to emotionally block out the effects of pain so that you don't have to face the utter horror of real circumstances.
You can also develop traumatized "inner parts" that become separated from the identity you experience with your persecutor or loved ones. Including child parts that were never nurtured, true anger and disgust you have for your abuser, or parts of yourself that you feel you can't express. nine0003
In the words of the psychotherapist, "The integration and correction of disparate and denied aspects of the personality depends largely on the construction of a coherent narrative that takes into account the assimilation of emotional, cognitive and physiological realities." This internal integration is best done with the help of a trauma psychologist.
2. You are walking on eggshells.
A common symptom of trauma is the avoidance of anything that is an experience, be it people, places, or activities that pose that threat. Whether it's your friend, partner, family member, co-worker, or boss, you're constantly monitoring what you say or do to that person so you don't incur their wrath, punishment, or envy. nine0003
However, you find that this doesn't work and you still become a target when he or she feels entitled to use you as an emotional punching bag. You constantly worry about "provoking" in some way, and as a result you avoid confrontation or setting boundaries. You may also extend your pleasant attitude to people and behavior outside of abusive interactions, losing the ability to be spontaneous or assertive while navigating the outside world. Especially with those who are similar or related to your abuser. nine0003
3. You put aside your basic needs and desires, sacrificing emotional and even physical security to please the criminal.
Perhaps you were once a full of life, purposeful and dream-oriented person. Now you feel that you are only living to satisfy the needs and plans of another person. One day the whole life of a narcissist seemed to revolve around you; now all yours revolves around them. You may have put your goals, hobbies, friendships, and personal safety on the back burner just to make your jailer feel "satisfied" in the relationship. Of course, you will soon realize that he or she will never be truly satisfied, no matter what you do or not. nine0003
4. You are struggling with health problems and physical symptoms that represent your psychological turmoil.
You may have gained or lost a significant amount of weight, developed serious health problems that you didn't have before, and experienced the physical symptoms of premature aging. The stress of chronic abuse has led to elevated cortisol levels and your immune system has been severely affected, leaving you vulnerable to illness and disease. You will find yourself unable to sleep or experiencing horrific nightmares as you experience it, reliving the trauma with emotional or visual memories that take you back to the site of the original wounds. nine0003
5. You develop a pervasive sense of distrust.
Everyone is now a threat, and you begin to worry about the intentions of others, especially when you experience the malicious actions of someone you once trusted. Your usual caution turns into a hypervisor. Because the narcissist worked hard to make you believe your experiences were invalid, you had a hard time trusting everyone, including yourself.
6. You have suicidal thoughts or tend to self-harm. nine0115
Along with depression and anxiety, there may be an increased sense of hopelessness. Your circumstances seem unbearable, as if you couldn't run away even if you wanted to. You develop a sense of helplessness that makes you feel like you don't want to live. Self-harm is the way to deal with the situation. As noted by Dr. McKeon (2014), Head of Suicide Prevention at SAMHSA, survivors of intimate partner violence are twice as likely to attempt suicide. This is how attackers commit murders without a trace. nine0003
7. You are self-isolating.
Many criminals sequester their victims, but they also do so because they are ashamed of being abused. Given the accusations and misconceptions about emotional and psychological abuse in society, they may even be traumatized by law enforcement, family members, and friends of the narcissist who refute their perceptions of reality. They are afraid that no one will understand or believe them, so instead of asking for help, they decide to leave others to avoid judgment and retribution from the offender. nine0003
8. You compare yourself to others, often accusing yourself of abuse.
The narcissistic aggressor is highly skilled at fabricating love triangles or bringing the other person into the relationship dynamic to further terrorize. As a result, survivors internalize the fear of inferiority, and may constantly strive to "compete" for the attention and approval of the oppressor.
Comparing themselves to others in happier and healthier relationships, or wondering why their partner seems to treat complete strangers with more respect. This leads them into the trap of wondering "why me?" And stuck in the abyss of guilt. In truth, the perpetrator is the person who should be blamed - you are in no way responsible for the abuse. nine0003
9. You self-sabotage and self-destruct.
Thinking about insults often and you hear the voice of the offender in your mind amplifying which reinforces negative self-talk and self-sabotage. The "program" of hard-core narcissists makes you self-destruct, sometimes even driving you to suicide.
Through covert and overt insults and hypercriticism, people develop a tendency to punish themselves because they carry such toxic shame. They begin to sabotage their goals, dreams, and academic pursuits. The persecutor has given them a sense of worthlessness, and they begin to believe they don't deserve good things. nine0003
10. You are afraid to do what you love and succeed.
Since many pathological predators are jealous of their prisoners, they punish them for their success. This causes the poor to associate their joys, interests, talents, and areas of success with abuse. Conditioning makes you fear victories, so that they are not met with reprisals and reprimands.
As a result, they become depressed, anxious, lack confidence, and may hide from the spotlight and let their attackers put on a show over and over again. Understand that your strength is not undermined, not because they really believe that you are worse. But because they threaten their control over you. nine0003
11. You defend your offender.
Rationalization, minimization, and denial of abuse are often coping mechanisms in abusive relationships. To reduce the cognitive dissonance that occurs when a person who claims to love you mistreats you, sufferers convince themselves that the narcissist isn't really "that bad" or that they should have done something. to "provoke" such behavior.
It is important to reduce this cognitive dissonance in the other direction by reading about the narcissistic personality and violent tactics. In this way, you can reconcile your current reality with the false self of the narcissist, recognizing that the offending person, and not the charming facade, is their true self. nine0003
Remember that there is often a strong trauma bond between the victim and the abuser because the victim is "trained" to rely on the enemy for their survival. They will protect their captors from legal repercussions, feign happy relationships on social media, or compensate by "sharing the blame" for abuses.
I was narcissistically offended. What now?
If you are currently in an abusive relationship of any kind, know that you are not alone, even if you feel that way. All over the world, millions of survivors have experienced what you have. This form of psychological torment is not exclusive to any gender, culture, social class, or religion. The first step is to recognize the reality of your situation and confirm it - even if your interlocutor is trying to make you believe otherwise. nine0003
If you can, write down what you went through to begin to recognize reality. Share with a mental health professional, family members, friends, or others. Start “healing” your body with methods like trauma-focused yoga and mindfulness meditation, two practices that target the same parts of the brain that often suffer.
Seek help if you experience any of these symptoms, especially suicidal thoughts. Consult with a trauma-informed psychologist. Make a security plan if you have concerns about a physical threat.