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How To Keep Your Boundaries Around Men & How To Say NO When Not Interested

Too many women learn the importance of having boundaries by engaging in the unwanted behavior.

When we don’t know where our own boundaries are, we let people cross them, and too often go too far. We end up with men we are not fully attracted to, doing things we later feel ashamed about, often using alcohol to help quiet the intuition, that is trying to tell us this is not the right thing to do.
And in the extreme, it can push you to having sex when you don’t want to, agreeing to things you don’t want to do, and creating trauma around sex, your own sexuality and womanhood.
I was there myself, and I witnessed more than one of my close girlfriend follow the same pattern.

Before you can say ‘no’ and disentangle yourself from unwanted male attention, you need to know where your own boundaries are.

What are you ok with? And what are you NOT ok with?

If you don’t have clarity on your boundaries, men will try to push you, and test you. They can sense when a woman is not in her power, and many of them – if attracted to you – will see how far they can go.
That doesn’t mean men are bad or trying to use you. But they do like the game, and if you’re letting the door open for them to go in, they will.

It is important to remember that you are the one responsible for your own boundaries, your wellbeing and your safety. Not everyone has good intention. Your natural instinct will tell you when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’, but it’s you who gotta do the talking.

So why is it so damn hard to do it?

To women, being liked means surviving. This is why the need to please others is so strong in us. Saying ‘no’ to a man means displeasing him, which means he will not like us, which in our reptile brain is translated to the possibility of being excluded from the group. Being likes secures our part in a tribe and protection of that tribe. We are safe in a group, but alone, chances for surviving go to zero.

If this mechanism is so strong in women, is there anything we can do to unlearn it?

While rewiring your survival brain is not that easy, there are things that can help you.

Understanding what your ‘no’ does to you and men will make you feel more comfortable about stating your boundaries.

Men are hunters. They like the chase, they enjoy a challenge. If a man wants you, he will be happy to go through a few obstacles to get you. Cause when he finally does, it will feel like a huge accomplishment. His masculinity and confidence will be boosted. He will feel like a hero.
So now imagine that you don’t say ‘no’ to men. That means that getting you is not a challenge. Since you say ‘yes’ to so many other men, he is not interested in trying. He sees no accomplishment in getting a ‘yes’ from you.

Your ability to say ‘no’ makes your ‘yes’ so much more powerful.

So try focusing on your man (or any man you currently like), and compare what is more important for you: not displeasing men you don’t really care about, or making the man you do care about feel happy and fulfilled?

For me, reminding myself of this is what gives me the courage to say ‘no’.

There is one big mistake many women do when they decide to become more assertive.
See, it’s not just important to say “no”, it’s also important how you say it.

We are empathic, we can easily relate to others and we care about connection. Saying ‘no’ does not mean you should forget about these qualities! On the contrary, the beauty of the feminine is her ability to say ‘no’ in a loving way. No one likes being rejected and this is not about rejecting a man. After all, what are you gaining by crushing his ego? It is about stating your boundary, that’s all. You don’t need to be cold or bitchy to do it.

Let’s look at a few examples of saying no to men:

A man asks you out for dinner:
“I feel really flattered you’re asking me out and I appreciate your courage. And I have to decline, because I am not currently interested in dating.”

A man offers to give you a massage:
“Thank you for your offer. I have to decline, because I feel it is too much, too fast. But you can take me out for coffee.”

A man who keeps staring at you and makes you feel very uncomfortable”
“You attention is intimating. I would appreciate if you could give me more space”

Here is a simple formula you can practice:

thank him and acknowledge his proposal + AND + decline + explain your reasons + say ‘yes’ to something else

(Notice ‘AND’ instead of ‘BUT’. I know it sounds weird to say it, but it is a powerful emotional message, so try to train yourself to eliminate the word ‘but’ from your vocabulary as much as possible).

Practice, darling. The more you do it, the easier it will become.

Much love,

Magda Kay

If a man says "no" - Globosfera

If a man says "no" in response to your request, this does not mean that he will not do what you ask him to do.

It all depends on how you behave after his answer.

I don't mean reactions like:

– of course he will, otherwise I'll blow his brains out;

- will not do - will not get sex;

- won't do it - won't talk to him;

- I will leave him if he does not;

- shame, call his mother, threaten to tell his friends what a miser he is.

These are all forceful methods of influence, which, even if they give you the opportunity to get what you want from a man, will not provide you with that great pleasure. Because the pleasure from the received in the struggle is not comparable with the pleasure from the received because they wanted to give it to you.

Forceful methods of influence are, in fact, violence. And the violence committed by a woman over a man makes him unhappy and does not satisfy her. It fills only the desire for power, increases self-esteem, i.e. elevates her over a man and ... blocks the possibility of her receiving pleasure from this man. Because it makes him unimportant, petty, weak in her eyes.

A woman becomes like a glass that has risen above the jug, and the water from the jug simply cannot get into it. A man is already ready to fulfill your desires, but you are depriving him of the pleasure of being a giver towards you. And this is the greatest male pleasure!

A man's negative reaction to a woman's request: "No", silence or indifference - this is either a response to the usual pressure from a woman, or inertia of thinking, often characteristic of men.

i.e. a man just needs to be given time to think, “digest”, comprehend what you told him, your desire. If you do not argue, prove your case and try to convince him at all costs, then your desire, with a high degree of probability, will eventually transform into his desire. And he himself will want to do for you what you asked him to do.

He will want it himself if you give him a chance to want it. And he will also be grateful to you for telling him how to please you, and not being silent about his desires, like partisans. We are not telepaths, and a man is not obliged to read your thoughts or guess.

When a man wants to please a woman himself and enjoys her, he gets great pleasure from it. You only need to give him the opportunity to transform your desire into his own. And then next time he will listen more attentively to what you want, he will not waste energy on resistance and protection. And all your desires will be fulfilled by a man faster.

If a man asks: “Why do you need this?”, then you need to answer why, and also add that this will make you happy. If he says not now, let's wait. Answer: "OK, let's wait." With such an answer, you will get what you want much faster than if you put pressure on a man or demanded specific dates from him.

All a woman needs to do is give a man the opportunity to make her happy. Often women do not give a man such an opportunity. At the same time, they themselves remain unhappy, and men are not made happy.

There is no need to demand anything - this is also a manifestation of pressure. You just need to say what you want.

How to communicate your desire so that it is not perceived as pressure or manipulation?

This happens naturally if you trust a man and are not afraid that he will leave you or start treating you worse if you ask him for something. Money, for example.

It's not scary to ask your parents. Even if they refuse, they will not love less.

Intention is also important so that the goal is not to get more out of a man, but the goal was to get what is really needed

Intention, the tone with which you speak, and trust are important, then the words themselves are found. It is also useful to remember that a man does not owe you anything. Like life, it doesn't owe anyone anything.

The whole truth about men: He just doesn't like you: August 03, 2014, 13:37

August 03, 2014, 13:37

A man can say: "I have a terrible blockage at work; I recently experienced the breakup of a serious relationship, which was a big blow for me; my parents' divorce left an indelible mark on my soul and brought a lot of new troubles; now I need to focus on my career; I can't get into a relationship until things get better in my life; as soon as my situation improves, I'll leave my wife, girlfriend, lousy job; I'm terribly busy. " It's easier for us to jump out of a window than to say, "You're not good for me." We are one hundred percent sure that in this case you will kill us or yourself, or both of us, or, even worse, start crying and screaming. Even if we do not talk about it, we clearly show you our attitude. Stop making excuses for us, our actions speak for themselves: you just don't like us.

1. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T ASK YOU ON A DATE.

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will make an appointment with you.

Variant of excuse: Maybe he doesn't want to destroy our friendship

I hate to tell you about it, but this excuse doesn't stand up to scrutiny. Unfortunately, throughout the history of mankind, this excuse has never been used by those who really meant it. If we really care about a woman, we can't bring ourselves to stop - we want more. And please don't tell me he's just "afraid". The only thing he is afraid of - and I say this, feeling sincere sympathy for you - is to admit that you do not attract him at all.

Variant of excuse: He probably does not dare to make the first move

You can hint to a man that you have sympathy for him, but you should not help him ask you out. I repeat again, dear ladies: the fact that you smile and playfully wink at him will be quite enough.

Variant of excuse: Maybe he doesn't want to rush things.

If a man really likes you, but there are deeply personal reasons why he does not want to rush things, he will immediately tell you about it. He will not leave you in the dark, as he needs confidence that you will not be disappointed and will not disappear from his life.

An excuse like "But he gave me his phone number."

Don't let him use cheap tricks to get you to ask him out on a date. If you are interested in a man, he will take care of everything. It sounds a bit old-fashioned, but when a man likes a woman, he asks her out.

An excuse like "Maybe he forgot about me."

Be sure you made an impression on him. Now leave everything as it is. If he likes you, he will remember you even after the tsunami, the flood or the defeat of the Russian team in the next match. If he forgot about you, do not waste time on him. Do you know why? Because you are great.

Remember:

Any excuse basically means that he doesn't care much about you. Men are not afraid to "destroy friendships".
Don't fall for his tricks and don't ask him out. If he likes you, he will invite you.
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
"Hey, let's meet at such and such a party / at some bar / at a friend's house" is not a date invitation. Even if you live in New York.
A man remembers well whether he liked you at the meeting, so hang up.
You are good enough to be asked out on a date.

2. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T CALL YOU

Men know how to use the phone.

An excuse like "But he's on the road so often."

Take note: the man who is interested in you wants to spend time with you. And he will only be satisfied with five phone calls if he does not have time for a plane to rush to you.

An excuse like "But he has other things on his mind."

The most important question here is: "Is it okay if a man forgot to call me?" I answer: "No." Unless he needs to rush someone to the hospital, or if someone stole his Ferrari. He should never forget that he promised to call you. If I really like you, I will never forget about you. Don't you expect the kind of guy who would rather forget about everything that happened in his life than forget about you?

An excuse like "He doesn't say what he really thinks."

Here's the problem: at the end of a date or phone call, many men tell you what they think you'd like to hear. They think it's better than nothing. So if the guy you're dating doesn't call you despite all his promises, is it worth getting hung up on? After all, you need a man who can at least keep his word.

Excuse like "But he's very busy."

And now I'm going to make an outrageous, harsh and peremptory statement regarding the relationship between a man and a woman: the word "busy" is complete nonsense, donkeys usually use it. The word "busy" in one gulp can destroy any relationship. Extremely "busy" may seem like a plausible excuse, but in fact, behind this concept there is always a man who was not interested in calling you. Remember: men always have time to get what they want.

One hundred percent of the men surveyed said they would always find a minute to call the woman they really like.

Remember:

If he doesn't call you, he doesn't care about you.
If he makes promises and then fails you over small things, rest assured that the same thing will happen when it comes to more serious things. Keep this in mind and keep in mind that this guy will not have a hard time disappointing you.
It is not worth building a relationship with someone who is not able to keep his word.
If he does not want to make the slightest effort to calm you down and smooth out the brewing conflicts in your relationship, then he simply does not respect your feelings and needs.
Busy is the same as donkey. And "donkey" is the same as the guy you're dating.
You deserve a damn call.

3. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T RECOGNIZE THE FACT YOU ARE DATED

Spending time together is not dating

An excuse like "He just went through a painful breakup."

He may be one of your closest friends, but as a man, he is not very attracted to you. Beware of the word "friend". It is often used by men or women who are in love with these men to justify their most piggy behaviour. When choosing friends, I prefer people who don't upset me.

An excuse like "But we do date."

Men, like women, seek to find a sense of security and security when they see that relationships become serious. One common way to achieve this is to lay claim to a loved one. A man who is truly infatuated with you will want you to belong to him completely. What's wrong with that, girls?

An excuse like "It's better than nothing."

Let me remind you: you need a man who wants you, calls you regularly, and makes you feel like the sexiest and most desirable woman in the world. He longs to see you more and more often, because each time his feeling grows stronger, growing from sympathy into true love. A relationship in which you meet a man once every two weeks or once a month, without feeling any love or sympathy from him, can last a day, or a week, or a month. But can they last a lifetime?

One hundred percent of the men surveyed said that the fear of a serious relationship has never kept them from starting a new romance. One young man even remarked: "The fear of a serious relationship is one of the myths of the big city." And another guy said, "That's what we say to girls we don't really like. "

Remember:

Men talk about their feelings, even if you refuse to listen or do not believe their confessions. "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" means "I'm not ready for a serious relationship with you" or "I'm not sure that you are the right woman for me." (I beg your pardon.)
"Better than nothing" should not suit you.
If you don't understand what's going on in your relationship, then it's okay to slow down and ask him a few questions.
Smells like uncertainty? Don't expect good.
There is one guy in the world who wants to let everyone know that he is your boyfriend. Stop fooling around, go find him.

4. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU

If a man likes a woman, he always wants to touch her.

Dear ladies, you have already met and will meet a great many men. I hate to tell you this, but some of these men will just decide you're not their type. And none of those men who don't like you will ever tell you about it. And he will say that ... he is afraid, worried, languishing from fatigue, in pain from a broken leg, suffering from a cold, afraid (again). But the truth, simple, cruel and bitter, is clear as daylight: you do not attract him, and he does not want to hurt you.

An excuse like "He's afraid he'll get hurt again."

Is he afraid? Yes, he is afraid to offend you. That is why he did not clarify the situation with your relationship. Perhaps he is even trying to make himself feel at least something for you, talking about his love and that he does not want to lose you, but he could just as well sign your diary. He loves you as a friend. If he loved you as a woman, he would not be able to control himself and would have a whirlwind romance with you, despite all the fears and unpleasant memories.

An excuse like "I drive him so crazy he doesn't show any interest."

Of course, many people have suffered in the past, and now they are afraid of a serious relationship. But you know what? If a man really likes you, nothing will stop him from achieving you, even the fear of a serious relationship. If he's really in big trouble about it, he might go for pointless treatment, but he'll never keep you in the dark.

An excuse like "But it's so great."

It used to be that a woman refuses to have sex when she wants to gain power over a man. It seems that the representatives of the stronger sex also learned to use it. If a guy, lying on the couch with you, joyfully eats cookies and watches a movie (and is not gay at the same time), then you simply do not attract him.

An excuse like "He finds a bunch of explanations for everything."

You can believe his excuses if you like, but first ask yourself a couple of questions. Are you satisfied with such relationships? The most important thing here is do you want to feel this way, perhaps for the rest of your life? Sex is also one of the greatest pleasures a person can experience. Therefore, it is at least strange when the person you are dating interferes with your enjoyment.

Remember:

People talk about who they really are all the time. If a man tells you that monogamy is not for him, then there is no reason not to believe him.
Communication is wonderful. But if communication is combined with sex - it's even better. Call a spade a spade, or rather, call a friend a friend. And find yourself a friend who can't resist touching you.
If you have low self-esteem, then you will have to spend more time improving it than looking for a new boyfriend. So prioritize according to your needs.
If you are seduced by the thought of a thousand and one nights spent in the arms (and only) of some man, then get yourself a puppy.
Hot thing, there is a man walking around who really wants to make love to you.

5. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE SLEEPS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

by another woman.

Don't ask what's wrong with you. You don't have to take the blame. And if he tells you that it happened by accident, then remember: betrayal is not accidental. This is not an accident like "I stumbled, and I was sucked in by a swamp called Treason." He planned and executed it, fully aware that it could end your relationship. Remember: if he sleeps with another woman without your permission and approval, then he behaves not just like a man who is not so passionate about you, but like a man who is not interested in you at all.

An excuse like "He has no excuse and he knows it."

Cheating is bad. And the inability to explain why you cheated on a person is even worse. If one red flag isn't enough for you, how about two? Don't date men who don't know why they did something.

An excuse like "But I got fat."

I am absolutely sure that you need to lose 90 kilos in the form of your worthless boyfriend, and not at all the twenty kilos he talks about. He cheated on you and called you fat. How much humiliation can a person endure? If something in your relationship does not suit him, then he should talk about it with you, instead of seeking solace in the vagina of a strange woman. Also, think about how he will react if you get pregnant, get old, or have a few wrinkles? Or if you dye your hair a color he doesn't like? Get rid of this loser immediately, or I myself will come to your house and throw him out of there.

An excuse like "He needs more sex than I do."

There is no excuse that he is cheating on you. Dot. There are many ways to solve this rather common problem that arises from the difference in sexual appetites. As a rule, people start by talking frankly about this topic, and everyone agrees to do everything in his power to make the partner happy. And you don't have to jump into bed with someone else!

An excuse like "But at least he knew her."

I explain in other words: it doesn't matter if he loves you or not. He has made it clear to you how he feels about your novel. He went along with his feelings and arranged everything so that he was alone with another woman, kissing her, taking off her clothes and doing everything else that usually happens when two adults have sex. Can you continue to love him after this?

One hundred percent of the men surveyed reported that they had never made love to a woman by pure chance. (But many of them wanted to know how such an accident occurs and what needs to be done to take advantage of it.)

Remember:

There is no excuse for cheating. Let me repeat: there is no excuse for cheating. Now say it yourself: there is no excuse for cheating.
The only thing you are responsible for in the moral fall of another person is your own feelings.
Treason is treason. It does not matter with whom he cheated on you and how many times this happened.
Change becomes easier each time. It is difficult only the first time, when you feel remorse and guilt because you did not justify the trust of another person.
Deceivers are never happy. (Because they are all scoundrels.)
An unfaithful man first of all cheats on himself, since he cannot build a normal relationship with you.

6. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE ONLY WANTS TO SEE YOU WHEN HE'S DRUNK

If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his mind isn't clouded by the fumes of alcohol. If your clown puts on a red nose every time it comes to intimacy, then this indicates that there are serious problems in your relationship.

An excuse like "But I like it when he's drunk."

If, while sitting in a bar, he is drunk and says something like: "Baby, you are so beautiful!" and at the same time hugs you a little tighter than it should be, then it’s time to learn something: you can’t believe everything that a man says when he is drunk. And listen to the former bad guy: "bad guys" are called bad guys because they have a lot of trouble, no self-esteem, besides, they absolutely do not believe in sincere love relationships, but very often they dress cool and drive cool wheelbarrows. Do you really need this one?

An excuse like "At least he doesn't drink the strongest drinks."

Don't be fooled. A guy who doesn't fall off his feet and pee in his pants from drinking shouldn't get away with quietly shutting his brain off in a different, easier way every time you're together. It's still intoxication, it's still a desire to avoid responsibility, and it's still not good for you.

Remember:

His words mean nothing if he said them while drunk. "I love you" or the like, spoken under the influence of any drink stronger than grape juice, has no power in court and in real life.
The use of alcohol and drugs is not the way to the innermost feelings of a person. Otherwise, people would not break empty beer bottles on their heads and try to touch the flames of fire to find out if they feel something or not.
If he wants to see you, communicate with you, have sex with you only when he is tipsy, this is not love, this is sport.
Bad guys are called bad guys for a reason.
You deserve a man who doesn't need to pump up anything to spend time with you.

7. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU

Love cures the manic disease of commitment.

Every one of your former men who has told you that he doesn't want to get married, or doesn't believe in marriage, or has doubts about marriage, is bound to tie himself in sacred bonds someday. Just not with you. Because he's not saying that he doesn't want to get married at all. He says that he does not want to marry you.

Excuse like "It's all very complicated now."

If you take your finances into account when choosing the time for your wedding, this auspicious period will never come. If a boyfriend is using a lack of money as an excuse not to marry you, then it is your relationship that is at risk, not his bank account.

Excuse like "But he's just like himself. "

If you have to sit and think about how to start a conversation about marriage with a person with whom you have been in a close relationship for quite some time, then this is a wake-up call. Immediately call him for a frank conversation and sort things out. Then, as soon as you are ready, go in search of a person whose only thoughts will be occupied with how you feel.

A dilemma like "Is this really an excuse not to get married?"

Marriage is a tradition that we inherited from previous generations, which is why marriage has so many opponents. So be it: if a man is categorically against marriage, and you are in favor with both hands, then please make sure that behind his unwillingness to marry lies only dislike for the very institution of marriage, and not any other feelings or their absence.

"I'm just not ready" excuse.

I hate to tell you this, but he doesn't want to rush for one reason: he still isn't sure you're the one.

An excuse like "He's seen enough of other failed marriages. "

For a worthy man, a meeting with a woman with whom he wants to share his life always becomes a real event. And, probably, if he realizes that this is exactly the woman, he will not immediately tell her that the mere thought of registering their relationship disgusts him.

One hundred percent of the men surveyed admitted that they would no doubt propose a hand and heart to a woman if they were completely sure that she was the love of their life. One representative of the stronger sex said: "What kind of idiot do you have to be in order not to marry the woman you love?"

Remember:

"Does not want to marry" and "Does not want to marry me" are two different things. Make sure that you correctly determine which category your chosen one belongs to.
If you have opposing views on marriage, then there are sure to be other issues that will lead to disagreement. It's time to make a problem list.
If nothing changes in your relationship, what are you waiting for?
Somewhere on earth there is a man who wants to marry you.

8. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE LEFT YOU

"I don't want to be with you" still means exactly that.

"He needs me" excuse.

Do not be satisfied that he is bored without you. He must be bored. You are so unique. And yet he, as he was, and remained the man who left you. Remember, there is only one reason he can miss remembering you: he thinks that he does not want to spend this day with you.

An excuse like "It's much easier after this solution."

If he dates you, asks you on dates, leaves you and continues to sleep with you, which, in fact, removes any responsibility from him for your feelings for him. There is one thing that a young man will never do if he cannot imagine his life without you: he will never leave you. The only way for you to know if you love yourself is to get rid of him, and as quickly as possible.

An excuse like "But everyone does it."

Stop holding on to his cock, get dressed and quickly go home to your best friend. And don't look for an excuse to stay with him. And do not think that all this crazy passion will inevitably lead to the fact that you will be together again. Oh yes, sex after a breakup is not bad at all, because it's great to sleep with someone you know. It's also great to sleep with someone you have strong feelings for. This combination makes sex after parting so bright. But now you know that because of this, a real confusion arises in the head and you begin to feel terrible. Face the truth: you are a woman, and women do not know how to separate love and sex. And don't make those mistakes again. Got it? He doesn't like you that much. He's much more into a very bad idea that masquerades as a very good idea, which is sex after a breakup. Like this.

An excuse like "But then he wants to go back."

Unfortunately, after you break up, your boyfriend starts looking for something better. And when he fails, he is seized by loneliness and returns "home". It doesn't sound like he likes you very much. He just really doesn't like being alone.

An excuse like "I refuse to accept the fact that he left me."

I'm sorry he left you. By trying again and again to get him back, you make your ex-boyfriend think: "What the hell did I find in this crazy bitch?" Remember one simple piece of advice, ladies: always be on top. Never go crazy. Well, in fact, this is not even one, but two whole pieces of advice. But trust me, you will never regret listening to them. At the very least, it will save you from the unpleasant memories of how you cut into pieces his clothes or threw away all the photos with him.

Remember:

You can't stop a breakup by talking. Debating won't help here. Termination of relations is a final decision, and it is not subject to appeal.
Sex after a breakup doesn't mean you're back together.
Stop talking to him. Let him miss you.
No need to remind him how great you are.
He can take care of his cat himself.
"Posh woman" will never torment his answering machine.
Somewhere a young man is waiting for you who will be just happy that you have not gotten back together with your horribly nasty ex-boyfriend.

9. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE JUST GOT AND DISAPPEARED

Sometimes you have to put an end to it yourself.

Well, everything is very clear here. He made it clear to you that you are so not his type that he didn't even bother to leave you any news about himself. The only thing you have to take away from this love story is the fact that he decided to leave you. And he did not have the courage to tell you about it, looking into your eyes. Case is closed.

An excuse like "Maybe he's dead."

There is nothing worse than not getting an answer from a loved one. But the trouble is that the lack of an answer is the answer for you. He may not have written a farewell letter, but his silence speaks plainly: "I don't like you. " The only reason why you should write to him again is the desire to receive an explicit refusal, now in verbal form. Have you forgotten? You are too busy with your fans and you don't have time for such nonsense.

Excuse like "So what, I can't even fight him one last time?"

At first, it may seem that you feel better if you call him and make a scandal. You may feel like you let him get away with it. But trust me, nothing you want to tell him will come as a revelation to him. And you already have something to spend your time on.

An excuse like "But I just want an answer."

Do you deserve to know what really happened? Undoubtedly. I can tell you what happened: you dated a terrible person. The easiest way to correct this mistake is to draw certain conclusions for yourself, live on and continue to be more selective in choosing a partner. Do it all quickly without wasting a minute of your precious time.

One hundred percent of the males surveyed who "disappeared" from the woman's field of vision stated that they were fully aware that they had done something terrible, and no phone calls or belated conversations would change their minds.

Remember:

He may indeed be in the hospital suffering from amnesia, but he's probably just not that into you.
Lack of answer is his answer to you.
Don't give him the opportunity to reject you again.
Let his mother make scandals for him. And you are too busy for that.
There is no mystery here: he just left your life, and he was not worthy of you.

10. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE'S MARRIED (this includes all the other, most incredible reasons why he can't be with you)

If you cannot love each other freely and openly, then this is not true love. No matter how strong and sincere your feelings for another person are, if he cannot answer them honestly and fully, that is, with mutual love, these feelings mean nothing.

Excuse like "But his wife is such a bitch!"

No matter how unhappy his marriage is and no matter how badly his wife treats him, things are definitely not so bad, otherwise he would have left her long ago. Sincere love relationships do not deserve to be hidden. Find yourself a man who will not hide his feelings.

An excuse like "But he's such a nice person."

Please don't try to ignore this fact. He is married to another woman. I know you are not like everyone else, and in your case everything is different, but the fact remains: he is married. If in your entire life you are ready to stop at a red light only once, then this is exactly the case. It's just that for everyone who plays this game, the stakes are too high.

An excuse like "I just have to wait."

If, at a certain stage in the development of a relationship, there is talk of "waiting for him", this is an alarming signal. It's not a stock you're going to invest in. He is a man whose heart must be open enough to be ready to meet you and fall madly in love with you. If someone really likes you, he will quickly solve all his problems and make a lot of efforts so as not to lose you.

Remember:

He is married.
If it doesn't belong to you entirely, then it belongs to her.
There are a lot of cool and gentle single men in the world. Try to meet one of them.
If a man yells and curses at his ex-wife or mourns a previous girlfriend, go to the movies with someone else.
He is married.
No need to join the ranks of those same women.
You are not easy to forget. Let him find you when he is ready for a new relationship.

11. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU THAT MUCH IF HE IS BEHAVE LIKE A SELF-LOVING EGOIST, A BRAGUIST, OR JUST A BIG FUCK

If he really loves you, he will do his best to make you happy.

An excuse like "But he really wants to get better."

Loving people try to treat each other well and even take pleasure in showing tenderness and care to their loved ones. If your partner is very bad at this, then in the end you reap the same benefits as in the situation called "He doesn't like you that much. "

An excuse like "But that's just how he was raised."

He doesn't have to be crazy about your CD collection. It doesn't have to be that he likes all your shoes. But any full-fledged and prudent man simply has to make an effort on himself and fall in love with your friends and your family, especially if they are all such wonderful people.

An excuse like "But he will change."

Short temper is not a temporary problem. People who yell at others simply don't know how to control themselves and need psychiatric help. People who yell at others feel they have a right to do so. Hey, beauty, do you really want to create such a family?

An excuse like "After all, what matters is what happens between us alone."

Why be with a person who needs to humiliate you in order to feel his own superiority? Especially in front of friends! And why should you pay attention to the fact that he treats you better when you are alone? After all, he is only waiting for how to bring you to the people in order to humiliate you. Drop it! Go to college and write a diploma on the topic: "How to find a man who is not ashamed to show his friends."

Excuse like "But he's just trying to help."

It is not only the behavior of a man beating a woman that is considered offensive. It can and should also be considered offensive behavior when a man yells at a woman, publicly humiliates her, or reminds her that she is too fat, thereby making her feel unattractive. It is very difficult to believe that you deserve true love when someone is trying their best to convince you that you do not deserve anything in this life at all. But, as I see it, all the exhortations to part with him still do not work on you. So for starters, just realize that you are too good for such a relationship.

An excuse like "He just hasn't found himself yet."

People are constantly faced with difficult situations. But, as they say, if there was a hunt, the work would go well. And a strong, independent man will never ask you for five hundred bucks to pay his bar bill. Therefore, your thoughts should only be occupied with how to find such a man who would not agree to parasitize on you and your family for anything in the world.

An excuse like "Maybe it's one of his little oddities!"

You will surely meet men who do not enjoy hugging, kissing or having sex. You will spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to deal with this and whether you are the cause of this behavior. Or you simply come to the conclusion that these people do not like doing what you think is an integral part of a fulfilling life, and you go in search of such a person who shares your views.

The joke is, for example: "Hey, Björk called, she wants to take her dress back." And the insult is like this: "God, well, you are corroded!" But the most important thing is to understand what you need. You all definitely deserve better treatment!

One hundred percent of the men surveyed said they had never tried to humiliate or upset a woman they really liked. And this is the most important thing.

Remember:

Do not complicate an already difficult life by sharing it with a person who gives you a lot of trouble.
You are worthy of such a man who in any situation will behave with you as it should. (Don't forget that you should treat him well too.)
There is no reason to yell at another person unless they are in mortal danger.
Assholes belong in the circus, not in your apartment.
You already have one ass, why do you need a second one?
By getting rid of useless people, you get a lot of free time that you can spend on what gives you pleasure.
Believe in yourself. How could it be otherwise?

13. SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Then you ask: "What if there is no next novel at all?" And we will answer: "Send these terrible thoughts on a long voyage on a ship that will surely sink, because it is destined to crash on the reefs of the Isle of Sorrow. And we do not want you to be on this ship."

YOUR NEW REQUIREMENTS:

I will not date a person who does not ask me out on dates.
I will not date a person who makes me wait hours for his call.
I won't date someone who isn't sure they want to date me.
I will not date a person who makes me feel sexually unattractive.
I will not date a person who abuses alcohol or drugs, so this makes me uncomfortable.
I will not date a person who is afraid to make future plans with me.
Under no circumstances will I waste time on a person who has already rejected me once.
I will not date a married man.
I won't date a man unless he's actually a kind, sincere and gentle person.

Now it's your turn. Only you know what other requirements you want to make to your future chosen one. Write them all down. And don't forget about them.

DICTIONARY

Friend

This should mean: "I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you. "
In some cases it means: "I just don't like you that much."

Busy

This should mean "Today was my inauguration as President of the United States."
In some cases it means: "I just don't like you that much."

Bad guy

This should mean "Guy to stay away from".
In some cases, it means: "The guy you need to stay away from."

I'm not ready

This should mean "I can't find my pants".
In some cases it means: "I just don't like you that much."

Call me

This should mean "I accidentally dropped my cell phone off a cliff into the ocean."
In some cases it means: I just don't like you that much.

I don't like your family

This should mean: I don't want to meet your mother.
In some cases it means: "I just don't like you that much."

I'm afraid of intimacy

This should mean: "I'm really very afraid of intimacy.

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