Intelligent introvert personality

The Relationally Intelligent Introvert - HR.com

Many of our clients often ask me if it is possible for introverts to have strong Relational Intelligence. As an extrovert, I have found this to be a fascinating question. The typical stereotypes of introverts are that they are presumed to be anti-social, dislike most people, and are not personable. On the contrary, many introverts love meaningful conversations and relationships. Susan Cain, the author of the book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, argues that modern western culture misjudges the capabilities of introverted people. Cain describes how society is biased against introverts, and that, people are taught from childhood that being sociable is to be desired. Introversion is often considered somewhere between disappointment and certain types of pathology.

Research conducted by organizational psychologists and behavioral scientists supports Cain’s perspective. Numerous studies have found that introverts deeply value socialization. High-quality personal relationships play a key role in introverts' overall happiness, well-being, and fulfillment. However, the common misconception is that extroverts are greater at building relationships. That’s because they place more importance on social interactions, are energized and refreshed after being in a crowd, and prefer to work in groups or teams rather than independently. However, our research at Bandelli & Associates has found that introverts often possess greater levels of Relational Intelligence than extroverts do.

Relationally intelligent introverts are often highly self-aware, observant, and are excellent listeners. In fact, one study conducted in 2018 by Newport Healthcare found that introverts tend to make more accurate observations about human behavior than extroverts. Introverts tend to “read” people and situations better. They also tend to think before speaking, meaning they’re less likely to say something at the wrong time or place in organizational settings.

Relationally intelligent introverts are also more curious and inquisitive than extroverts. They ask questions first before having the need to share their thoughts or perspectives with others. And when they ask questions, they actively listen to what another person is communicating. They don’t feel the need to prepare their response as someone is speaking, which is often a bad habit for many extroverts.

Relationally intelligent introverts are highly skilled at putting themselves in other people’s shoes. They have deep levels of empathy and use their EQ to understand their emotions, and those of others when building relationships.

Although introverts may feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than on what is happening externally, this does not mean that they are not wired for deep, intimate connections. Mistaking introversion for shyness is a common error. Introversion is a personality preference, while shyness can often stem from trauma or distress. Our research on Relational Intelligence suggests introversion is not a “second-class” trait but is a great asset for many leaders. Here are five ways relationally intelligent introverts are highly skilled at connecting with people and building strong, long-lasting relationships.

1. Use of energy to Establish Rapport when meeting new people: One of the many differences between relationally intelligent introverts and extroverts is where introverts choose to place their ENERGY. Introverts are completely comfortable being alone. Silence is extremely calming to them. They also tend to be deep thinkers. They thrive off conversations that provoke thoughts. So, when introverts meet people for the first time, they have a knack for creating a strong initial positive connection because they are selective in the language and word choices that they use. They understand how to use non-verbal behaviors and eye contact to draw others into a conversation. And they are comfortable when there are pauses in a discussion. They use this time to reflect on what is being communicated, whereas extroverts dread moments of silence when interacting with others.

2. Active listening and empathy when Understanding Others: One of the greatest Relational Intelligence skills that introverts possess is how they learn about people. Relationally intelligent introverts are INTENTIONAL about putting in the time and effort needed to get to know others on a deep level. Because introverts prefer smaller, more intimate gatherings, it gives them greater opportunities to spend quality one-on-one time with people. Introverts are also phenomenal active listeners. Unlike extroverts, who can hear someone with their ears, but not pay attention because they are so focused on what they are going to say next, introverts take time to process and internalize the “what” and “how” others are communicating. This enables them to empathize on a deeper level and emotionally connect with friends, colleagues, and coworkers.

3. Greater thought and reflection about human behavior when Embracing Individual Differences: Relationally intelligent introverts process people and events for longer periods before sharing their thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Because they have less of an impulsive desire to speak before thinking, they take more time to learn and understand what makes others unique. Our research has found that AUTHENTICITY tends to be more important for introverts than it does for extroverts. This is because many extroverts enjoy being the center of attention and can put on facades easily to make their social interactions more enjoyable. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to have close relationships with a smaller number of friends, so “being themselves” comes more naturally.

4. Invest more time in Developing Trust with people: Researchers have found that introverts typically have very close relationships with a smaller number of friends than their extroverted counterparts. These relationships can span decades because of the commitment and investment introverts make to get to know those they care about. When a relationally intelligent introvert has the desire to build a relationship with someone, they have an easier time being honest, candid, and VULNERABLE. Using these types of behaviors is what quickly strengthens the bonds an introvert has with those they invite into their ”inner circle.”

5. Develop deep, close-knit relationships that enable them to Cultivate Influence on those they care about: Many introverts are empaths. They feel emotions on a deeper, more powerful way than most extroverts do. And because introverts tend to have high EQ, and are reflective thinkers, what they share with their friends and loved ones are usually well thought out. Where extroverts talk more than they listen, and can have the tendency to dominate conversations, introverts choose their words wisely. So, when relationally intelligent introverts provide feedback or input to others it can have a greater positive IMPACT on the lives of those they care about. Introverts do not get joy or pleasure from having surface-level relationships, so the people they choose as friends find them to be great listeners who are not judgmental. Introverts accept people for who they are and this contributes to the depth of the relationships they build over time.

Although most people are not on the extreme ends of the scale when it comes to introversion or extroversion, historically introverts tend to get a bad reputation. They are viewed as naturally withdrawn, shy, and antisocial while extroverts are seen as charismatic, outgoing, boisterous, and assertive. It’s time for introverts to be acknowledged and commended for many of the great qualities they bring to developing relationships. While you may not be able to change your personality, you can learn, practice, and apply the skills of Relational Intelligence. In fact, introverts may be able to pick up these skills quicker than extroverts and it’s why they have the natural ability to build great relationships with others.

Author Bio

Adam C. Bandelli, Ph.D., is the Founder & Managing Director of Bandelli & Associates, a boutique consulting firm focusing on leadership advisory services and organizational effectiveness. He is the author of the book Relational Intelligence: The Five Essential Skills You Need to Build Life-Changing Relationships.
Visit www.bandelliandassociates.com
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Are Introverts Smarter than Extroverts?

In Western society, extroversion is celebrated: the outgoing and enthusiastic nature of a person who gets things done and is a great communicator is considered an asset. Much of our public life is dominated by extraverts, such as Clinton and Thatcher, among others. In fact we're living in an "extrovert ideal."

Let's get this clear, introversion does not mean shyness. Shyness is a fear of social judgement. Our personality type determines and explains how we react to stimulus. Extroverts crave social stimulation, while introverts are at their best in quieter situations.

The Introverted Illusion

"A widely held, but rarely articulated, belief in our society is that the ideal self is bold, alpha, gregarious" - Susan Cain

In Western society, extroversion (properly, extraversion) is celebrated: the outgoing and enthusiastic nature of a person who gets things done and is a great communicator is considered an asset. Much of our public life is dominated by extraverts, such as Clinton and Thatcher, among others. In fact we're living in an "extrovert ideal:" in a University of North Carolina study, it was found that 96% of managers and executives display extravert characteristics.

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."
Proverbs 10:19

At the same time, negative traits popularly associated with the extravert as well as the positive traits of the introvert make it appear that introverts are actually more intelligent. Excitability, a lack of self criticism, a tendency to speak before they think and a lack of internal contemplation are all associated with an extravert personality. On the other hand, quietness, seriousness and a tendency to detach themselves to go and consider things carefully make it seem that introverts are smarter.

Several studies exist to support our assumption that introverts are smarter. A study by "The Gifted Development Center" found that around 60% of gifted children are introverted (compared with 30-50% of the population) and that the same is true of 75% of highly gifted children.

A 'Different' Kind of Intelligence

True intelligence is notoriously hard to measure quantitatively. IQ scores are a popular choice used to approximate intelligence, and the Gifted Development Center report quoted above is based on IQ scores, but the usefulness of this is questionable.

Measuring intelligence by personality type is no easier. A 1985 report by Robinson (see p309 in the International Handbook of Personality and Intelligence) proposes that in verbal intelligence tests, introverts do well; whereas extraverts perform better when given written tests. You'll see from the Handbook that studies attempting to measure extravert versus introvert intelligence produce differing results.

In the Workplace

In business, Ray Williams in Psychology Today theorizes that both introverts and extraverts only do well when they have the social skills to back up their intelligence - in that matter, at least, they're similar.

The two personality types tend to affect the way one navigates through working life in different ways ("tend to" is the key phrase here - everyone lies somewhere on the spectrum between introvert and extravert and the degree of either will affect results). Extravert managers usually make their own distinctive stamp on work done by the people they manage, whereas introvert leaders allow their employees to find their own way and use their own creativity. For this and other examples of how the two types differ at work, you can watch Susan Cain's TED talk "The Power of Introverts."

A manager can harness the power of introvert and extravert employees by engaging them in a way that suits their personality. Cain believes that team-working is not always beneficial to an introverted worker - they need space to develop their own ideas, whereas extraverts thrive in an environment where they can bounce ideas off others.

Power of Invention

Some of the world's top inventors are introverts. Believed to be the most intelligent people in the world, they prefer to be alone to focus on their craft. Little to no social stimulation gets in the way of their thinking.

Bill Gates, Larry Page (founder of Google), Albert Einstein and Steve Wozniak (co-founder of Apple Computers) are all introverts.

Does this mean that there are no extravert inventors?

No. Steve Jobs was a classic extravert and a born salesman. He was also an innovator and visionary. But could he truly be called an inventor? It was Wozniak the introvert who single-handedly invented the first Apple computer.

Differently skilled is how we should look at introverts and extraverts, not more or less intelligent. Where introverts can create the most wonderful new ideas and inventions (and not all introverts can do that), talented extroverts can inspire and motivate (those with the right social skills, anyway).

So let's not focus too much on who is the most intelligent. Let's celebrate the yin and yang of the two and consider how strange a world it would be if everyone was either one or the other!

How do you leverage introverts in the workplace? Share with us in the comments below!

Before You Go

CEO, 15Five

6 out of 16: The smartest personality types according to Myers-Briggs

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There are many smart and interesting people in the world. Each of us can show off our knowledge in a particular area. And sometimes there are those who can strike with their intellect on the spot. Of course, claims about intelligence are always very subjective. And for sure, someone who does not understand one topic will be able to impress you with his knowledge where you do not expect it.

However, if you look at the well-known Myers-Briggs personality types, you will notice that often the six personalities that we are going to talk about are often among the most intelligent.

INTJ - Strategist

Those who live to learn. We can safely say that thinking is the main tool of INTJ. Such people are able to competently receive and sort the information they receive. They think a lot and evaluate what is happening, so their intelligence is as similar as possible to the one that stereotypically comes to mind when you hear this word.

INTP - Scientist

For them, intellectual work is the main goal in life. Among INTPs, one can often meet mathematicians and programmers. People with this personality type are very interested in the various logical systems and theories that surround them and are the main controllers of our world. And the extraverted intuition and introverted thinking of the INTP become assistants in complex theoretical work.

ENFJ — Trainer

The rarest personality type. Such people are intuitive and sensual. These traits help them use their intelligence in difficult life situations. They may not be good at complex calculations, but they will really help during an emotional crisis. If there is an ENFJ in your environment, then listen to his advice. Most likely they will be useful and reasonable.

ESTJ — Manager

They seem to be born to be bosses. In people of this personality type, you can find all the qualities that are ideal for a leadership position. They are hard-working, stress-resistant and able to think ahead. ESTJ is not afraid to take responsibility even in difficult situations. So when it comes to this personality type, be sure that the person will be an excellent project organizer and will be able to make complex things simple.

ENTJ - Commander

Extraverted thinking is the dominant ability of ENTJ. People of this personality type are able to use and combine many sources of information. As a result, they create a big overall picture of the required topic. By the way, did you know that Steve Jobs is one of the most famous ENTJs? Did you notice any characteristic qualities in him?

ISTP - Virtuoso

Completes our list of ISTPs who learn by working with their hands. Their intellect shows itself in all its glory when it comes to creation and construction. They are able to create a masterpiece without resorting to guidance. ISTPs, thanks to their innovative thinking, become talented landscape architects or, for example, pilots.

Nastya Baskakova, Katya Chelenkova

behavioral traits and behavior definition

Do you know who an introvert is? At first glance, it may seem that this is a closed person with whom it is difficult to find a common language. In fact, the types of introverts are different. There are even those who are able to communicate with a large number of people and not seem withdrawn. They say that if you find the right topic for a conversation, you can reveal the inner world of a person.

Introverts are considered to be quite intelligent individuals. Despite the fact that they are silent, he has a huge store of knowledge in his head. What is an introvert? This is a person who avoids crowds, does not seek society, but on the contrary, avoids it.

Contents

An introvert in simple terms in psychology

The trait of an introvert has many benefits, including the ability to become a better psychologist, spend time alone, bring satisfaction in relationships, and much more. An introvert is not necessarily shy, but is especially interested in their own mental state. He may seem reserved, but a person draws energy by thinking inwardly. As a result, an introvert tends to enjoy activities that are performed alone, such as reading and writing. As a rule, he is not particularly attracted to large companies and gatherings, he prefers a more relaxed environment.

Types of introverts

Who is an introvert? Psychology distinguishes such a psychotype: social, anxious, thinking and restrained.

Introverts tend to focus more on themselves, concentrating on their thoughts, feelings and moods. As a result, they seek less stimulation from the outside world. Like all personality traits, it exists on a continuum, in this case with extraversion at the other end.

So most people have a balance of introverted and extraverted traits - this is known as an ambivert. However, some people are at the extreme end of the spectrum. Strong introverts tend to be reserved, quiet. They find too much social interaction draining and tend to gain energy from spending time alone.

1. Social introverts value solitude more than other people. They enjoy being alone, but they don't mind random encounters with close friends and family. The social introvert avoids crowds not out of anxiety, but rather out of preference. They feel most comfortable and happy either in complete solitude or in small groups in more secluded places.

Definition and habits:

prefer small intimate encounters;
will happily go on a date or vacation
needs time to be alone to recharge;
will accept social invitations with no intention of appearing.

When it comes to dating, social introverts excel in both online dating and face-to-face dating. And since they do well in small groups, they might even try speed dating.

2. A thinking introvert is by nature very cognitive. Often intellectual, this type of introvert is at ease when studying, reading, researching. He often pauses to think before offering an answer to a question. This type of introvert tends to get lost in their thoughts and may actually mentally "disappear" from conversations.

General characteristics and concept:

will lean toward activities that provide a "mental haven" for thinking: study, reading, research, music, or other creative work;
likes to engage in self-knowledge;
thinks for a long time before answering.

An introvert is a person who does not do risky and rash acts.

3. The anxious introvert is often quiet and may appear irritable or nervous. This is a normal type. This type avoids people and environments that can further increase anxiety. An "anxious" introvert can be extremely avoidant and even come across as rude. You will most likely find house representatives out of nervousness or fear, usually catastrophizing events before they happen, ultimately preventing them from stepping out of their comfort zone.

Description:

Usually appear at least slightly nervous in most situations;
May seem rude;
Will avoid social interactions at all costs;

Whether this type has a good or bad character is up to those who encounter them. At first, discomfort can be traced when communicating with such a person, but it is quite possible to find common ground.

4. Reserved introvert what is it? He tends to be more reserved and can be on guard around others until they get to know them better. But instead of appearing shy, they just come across as thoughtful and down to earth.

Reserved introvert tends to be thoughtful and even slow by nature. Often unemotional, this type of introvert is often reserved and can have very down to earth energy. It is unshakable and very rock-like in nature. A reserved person is often a quiet, obedient person who others tend to rely on.

Signs of an introvert and meaning:

acts methodically in any work;
slow;
enjoys predictable activities;
not very emotional;.

When it comes to relationships, a reserved introvert will not take the initiative.

Introversion and extraversion: causes

Psychologist Hans Eysenck's popular early theory of introversion and extraversion claimed that it was due to the excitability of the brain.

He said that introverts naturally have a high level of cortical arousal, so they need less stimulation from social interaction. However, like other personality traits, genetics and environment likely interact to influence people's level of introversion. Twin studies show that about 50 percent of introversion is inherited.

Signs and characteristics of an introvert

Some of the most frequently mentioned signs of introversion:

socializing drains your energy;
preference for a small group of close friends;
enjoy being alone;
they have a high self-consciousness;
prefer to remain silent;
love to learn and observe.

This is the most common characteristic that fits each species.

Pros and cons of an introvert

In principle, it is already clear what an introvert means. This is not the same active, outgoing leader as an extrovert. This type is more passive and silent. He has his own introverted world in which he is comfortable.

Meanwhile, it has its pros and cons, which are worth considering.

An introvert makes a better psychologist. People who are more sad and introverted are the best natural psychologists, scoring the highest on tests of human nature.
Introverts prefer mountains. People view mountainous areas as more peaceful and calm. An extrovert, meanwhile, prefers flat, open areas. They are considered more exciting, outgoing and stimulating.
Introverts prefer to spend more time alone. Wanting to be alone doesn't necessarily mean depression or isolation. In fact, choice can be a sign of self-acceptance and personal growth. Retreat periods can provide spiritual renewal, critical self-reflection, and even a chance for creative self-expression. The desire to be alone is not necessarily associated with shyness.
Introverts cope better with bad sleep. Research has shown that people do better with sleep deprivation after a busy day of social interactions. What does introvert mean? This person is more organized than an extrovert. A percentage of those surveyed said they were prone to sleep loss after interacting with many people during the day. An introvert's ability to resist insomnia may be linked to genetic factors.
Introverted relationships bring satisfaction. Introverted women are less likely to cheat on their partner. Personality likes to study alone, he prefers to think before he speaks, and he likes to direct his mental energy inward. In contrast, extroverted women are more likely to cheat on their partner.
Musical preferences of introverts. There is some connection between musical preferences and personality. Those who listen more to rock, indie or alternative music tend to be more introverted.

Many people mistakenly believe that introversion is the same as shyness. Extroverts assume that introverts don't want to interact because they're afraid. The truth is that many of them do not enjoy social interactions as much as more active individuals, so they avoid them. An introvert often prefers to stay away from others, but is not afraid to approach them. Being less social is a preference, not a pathology.

The difference between an extrovert and an introvert.

It's like two opposites. One active and explosive. Tries to find company and many friends. He is bored alone and seeks entertainment. An introvert will avoid all this. He is quite comfortable being alone in a quiet place. He would rather choose outdoor recreation in a tent than a noisy company at a party.

They approach change differently. Introverts are very comfortable with their habits and routines. Businesses change every day, and leaders need to be better at helping their employees (introverts and extroverts) manage change. Introverts can be a little more resilient to change. You may need to spend more time explaining the change, or perhaps announce it sooner. Just be aware that introverts can be a bit resistant to change, so keep that in mind when change is coming.

Different levels of attention

Introverts are deep thinkers, which means that they need to focus on what they are doing in order to achieve good results.

Learn more