Being stuck in life

SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery. Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.
It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.

After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.
Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.
For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator

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Welcome to the Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator, a confidential and anonymous source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. Territories for substance use/addiction and/or mental health problems.

PLEASE NOTE: Your personal information and the search criteria you enter into the Locator is secure and anonymous. SAMHSA does not collect or maintain any information you provide.

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FindTreatment.
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Millions of Americans have a substance use disorder. Find a treatment facility near you.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

Free and confidential support for people in distress, 24/7.
National Helpline

1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Treatment referral and information, 24/7.
Disaster Distress Helpline

1-800-985-5990

Immediate crisis counseling related to disasters, 24/7.

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The Locator is authorized by the 21st Century Cures Act (Public Law 114-255, Section 9006; 42 U.S.C. 290bb-36d). SAMHSA endeavors to keep the Locator current. All information in the Locator is updated annually from facility responses to SAMHSA’s National Substance Use and Mental Health Services Survey (N-SUMHSS). New facilities that have completed an abbreviated survey and met all the qualifications are added monthly. Updates to facility names, addresses, telephone numbers, and services are made weekly for facilities informing SAMHSA of changes. Facilities may request additions or changes to their information by sending an e-mail to [email protected], by calling the BHSIS Project Office at 1-833-888-1553 (Mon-Fri 8-6 ET), or by electronic form submission using the Locator online application form (intended for additions of new facilities).

What to do if you are "stuck"

What does it mean to "get stuck", "get confused", "to be in a stalemate"? A person who finds himself in such a situation feels as if he is stuck in a quagmire and cannot move. It seems to him that it is useless to call for help, because no one cares about him. This is most often associated with problems in marriage, relationships or at work, low self-esteem and dissatisfaction with oneself.

Such a state is a signal that it is time to change something in life. However, we are held back by fear and helplessness, and as a result we sink deeper and deeper.

HOW TO GET OUT

Once in a hopeless situation, we lose the ability to think clearly: everything is covered in a veil of despair and other negative emotions. Still, it's important to at least try not to lose heart. After all, in a place that we take for a quagmire, opportunities, resources and tips can be hidden - they will help us find a foothold.

Despite the feeling of complete hopelessness, a way out is sure to be found. Sometimes it helps to look at the situation differently and try to change your attitude towards it. But if this alone is not enough, perhaps the following tips will help you.

Take the time to weigh the pros and cons

It's not easy, but it's important to assess the situation. Set aside at least 15 minutes a day to reflect on the current situation. Try to be as frank with yourself as possible: it is important to understand what exactly does not allow you to get off the ground.

It is equally important to discover the excuses you are trying to hide behind and write down any, even the most absurd, ideas and solutions. Taking responsibility for your choices means taking back control of your actions. It takes a lot of effort, but after them comes self-confidence. No one can interfere with your desire to move forward.

Accept the situation

Coming to terms with your circumstances is the first step in dealing with them. This does not mean that you are satisfied with what is happening. You accept everything as it is in order to decide where to go next, plan the steps and begin to forge new paths.

Think about what to do

Yes, you have no idea what to do yet, but consider all possible options. For example, talk to an impartial person: he will help by expressing his point of view and, perhaps, offering an unexpected way out that simply did not occur to you.

WHAT ELSE?

It must be realized that we all need a different amount of time to release: it all depends on the individual and the specific situation. Don't compare yourself to others. You are unique and your circumstances are not the same for everyone. Ahead is a difficult path with obstacles, not a marathon. Although it seems like taking too long to move in small steps, this is the most effective way.

Whenever you think about your current situation, think about the steps you are taking now and mark the steps you have taken so you can see what you have achieved. Of course, it is important to take responsibility and plan further actions, but it is even more important not to blame yourself for past and future mistakes. Sometimes you have to change directions. Daily attempts solve a lot, but pauses are necessary. Taking care of yourself is part of the plan to get out of the crisis. Be mindful of your health, indulge in pleasure, and practice positive self-talk.

Don't be afraid of delays and unexpected obstacles. Obstacles can get in the way, but whether you get to your intended goal is up to you. Look at failures and difficulties as opportunities with which you become stronger.

In some cases, the fight seems pointless due to anxiety and other neurotic disorders such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. In order to be completely free, first of all, you need to solve psychological problems.

If, despite all your efforts, you still feel trapped, psychotherapy is your best bet. Find a competent specialist and remember: everything will be fine.

What to do if you get stuck in one place and start to degrade

The statistics are gloomy. A recent study showed that 69% of people feel trapped in an unbearable routine, and only 3 out of 10 people are satisfied with their lives. Most are “stuck in the textures of reality”, where there is no intellectual and emotional development, expansion of boundaries, career prospects. Complete dissatisfaction that drowns out everything. Reminds me of running on a treadmill that can't be turned off. You seem to be trying to run forward, but you stand still. How does it happen? Are you doing something wrong? Why don't you move forward? What can help you? Let's try to answer these questions right now.

Causes

Causes may vary. For example, some people work long and hard towards goals that do not match their true desires at all. We call such goals false. Things like that break people down, make them feel overwhelmed and lost. You can be successful, build a "successful life", but if this success does not go hand in hand with your will, then it will mean nothing. You just wasted your time. It is difficult to realize your potential if you do not understand who you are.

Other people feel "stuck" because they have not surrounded themselves with mentors and friends to serve as examples. They hover in uncertainty, which kills them. Either everything comes from banal laziness, which develops into complete impotence. For example, you want to become a cool musician, but you don’t do it, instead you watch TV shows in the evenings and drink beer, although you could play the guitar. The more such meaningless evenings pass, the more difficult it is for you to take up the guitar in order to bring the dream one step closer to reality.

Two questions you need to ask yourself every day

If you want to get out of the cycle of endless repetition, which is called a dull life, then you need to change every day, every day you need to take some steps forward. To get started, ask yourself two questions that will help you test the ground, find a direction.

Why am I going to do what I'm going to do today?

Get up in the morning and just ask yourself this question. It is important to delve into this “why”, because all your life you are doing something. And don't tell me you only go to work to pay bills - that's a shitty reason. Ask yourself what you are doing with your life. This will allow you to focus on what's important.

What would I like to do today?

Then ask the second question: what would I like to do today? Again, don't ask this question superficially. Yes, we all would like to drink today, relax, have sex with a beautiful woman. But it's not about that. The point is that you have to make a decision from the point of view of the future, from the point of view of development, from the point of view of your true will. Try to make this decision. In the end, you will be able to sketch out a few goals that you can already focus on. Well done, you're starting to get out of the swamp.

Choose a realistic goal

Do you remember that you have to figure out what you want to do today? Great, now think about what goals you set in your personal life and career. Write down all these goals, and then highlight the main thing, because most of the things that you described are complete nonsense. This is the pursuit of achievement, not the pursuit of real life that moves you forward. Priorities should not bring suffering, they should help.

Watch your thinking

Work on your inner voice. He should not convince you of your insignificance, on the contrary, he should give you strength for new exploits. If he whispers to you, “You can never be a successful businessman,” then rip out his tongue and adopt a new voice. Try to rephrase your thoughts. For example, in the case of a business, it should be like this: "I don't know how to start a business, but I can learn." It's much better than it was, isn't it?

Challenge yourself

Moving forward is when you deliberately go to danger in order to get some significant jackpot. Moving forward is when you are not afraid to be a hero, at least within the framework of your own life. And for this you do not need to do something unimaginable. It is enough just to get out of your comfort zone, and do it every day. Do not be afraid of inconvenience, do not be afraid of new communication, do not be afraid of new feelings. Challenge yourself every hour to expand the scope of your life. Don't limit yourself.

Surround yourself with the right people

This is going to sound arrogant, but please forget about the losers who drag you down.

Learn more