I want to understand myself
25 Questions That Help You Understand Yourself and Your True Potential
As you keep up with everything going on in your life – the responsibilities, the obligations, even the distractions – there will be times when you’ll look in the mirror and struggle to recognize yourself. “Where did I go? How can I understand myself better?” you’ll ask, wondering how you’ve ended up where you are. “How did my plans for the future end up so… screwed up?”
When you don’t take the time to understand yourself and who you are, your sense of individuality weakens. You become easily influenced and pushed into a lifestyle that doesn’t represent who you are. The good news is you can gradually transition into the life you want by periodically “checking in” with yourself – the better you understand yourself, the easier it will be to steer your life in the right direction.
Here are 25 questions to get you started. Each answer will shed light on your individuality and unlock your potential:
1.
Make sure you’re really an extrovert and not an introvert in an extrovert’s clothing.
2. What are the top five words that describe your personality?
Highlight your key personality traits and stay true to who you are.
3. Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorganized environment?
Define the ideal work/home environments you’re known to thrive in.
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4. Are you comfortable with taking risks?
Decide how you feel about uncertainty and how you’ll use it to create your ideal lifestyle.
5. Do you work better alone or in a busy environment?
When you know what your most productive work environment consists of, it will help you find (or create) a job that best suits your preferences.
6. What are your strengths?
Define what your strengths are and how you’re going to use them to your advantage.
7. What are your weaknesses?
Acknowledge what you struggle with and how you want to improve.
8. What sets you apart from everyone else?
Know your quirks and charm your ass off with them.
9. Are you motivated by competition?
Define what your ideal competition/collaboration formula is for optimal productivity.
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10. What are your favorite movies/shows/books?
Disregard what’s trending and define the types of movies/shows/books you’ll always enjoy. It speaks volumes of your personality.
11. What’s more important to you – having a career or a family?
Even though you’ll try to have both, we all teeter towards a favorite. Knowing this will help you decide which priority will receive a bigger piece of the pie.
12. Do you embrace rules or rebel against them?
This is a huge determining factor in the type of lifestyle you’ll create for yourself – structured or adventurous? Remember: there are no wrong answers.
13. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Know your energy peaks and valleys for when you’re setting goals.
14. What’s more important to you – saving time or saving money?
This will help you as you’re planning your goals – you’ll know what to outsource and what to take on yourself.
15. What do you lie about and why?
There are certain aspects of ourselves we don’t want anyone else to know about. Knowing why will help you to work through what makes you self-conscious.
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16. Do you say yes (or no) too much?
Saying yes to everything gives you little time for what you truly want to do, while saying no to everything may cause you to miss out on amazing experiences.
17. If money didn’t exist, what would you be doing with your time?
We lose sight of what’s important to us when the bills come due – regain control of what you enjoy doing the most.
18. Are you patient or impatient?
Define whether or not it gets in the way of your goals and what you’re going to do about it.
19. Who makes you feel energized/inspired and exhausted/depleted?
There could be select family members or friends who are holding you back. Decide how you’re going to set boundaries in your relationships.
20. If your home was on fire, what are the three things you’d leave with?
Answering this question will help you let go of the concept that material items will make you feel better as a person.
21. Do you take responsibility for your mistakes?
Blaming others for where your life is will get you nowhere – if anything, it will make you feel stuck. Take responsibility, learn from them, and forgive yourself.
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22. What has to happen before your “real” life starts?
You might think that when you reach a certain goal you’ll feel completely different, but such is not the case – you’ll simply set a new goal and wait for it to happen, and so on, and end up missing out on amazing experiences.
23. What are you avoiding?
We all have certain responsibilities we procrastinate on, but you have to face them eventually. You’ll feel a lot better once you do, and you can move onto the things you actually do care about.
24. Do you easily feel guilty?
You might be feeling stuck because of your years of people-pleasing; meanwhile, the only person you should worry about disappointing is yourself.
25. What do you think you have to lose?
Clearly there’s something holding you back from creating the life you want. Work with it instead of pretending it’s not there.
These questions can inspire you to reflect on yourself. Check in with yourself often and you will be amazed by the true potential you actually have.
More Self-Reflective Questions
Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com
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14 Ways To Understand Yourself Better
Just when you think you have a pretty good handle on what makes you tick, you catch yourself doing something freakishly out of character?
Or is it? Maybe you don’t know yourself as well as you thought?
Maybe the weirder part of you is still a mystery to the part of you that runs the show.
In any case, your inner weirdo keeps showing up.
And you don’t know whether to make peace with it or show it who’s boss.
(And what if the weirdo is actually the boss of you?)
So, what can you do to understand yourself better? Here are some thoughts.
What’s in this post:
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1. Start a daily journaling habit.
Why not title your journal, “Learning how to understand myself”?
Because that’s what you’ll be doing every time you sit down to write in it.
Whether you spend five minutes, half an hour, or longer writing your daily journal entry, you’ll be providing a playground for all the messy-connected thoughts and ideas in your head.
And in giving those thoughts a place to play, you become more aware of them. In writing them down, you tell your brain to pay attention, and it does.
It takes those thoughts more seriously. And you find yourself admitting things you only half-consciously entertained up until then.
Keep this one private to make it a safe space to vent. Everyone needs that.
2. Start a daily meditation habit.
Spending at least ten minutes a day — five at the start and five at the close — in quiet meditation helps to both ground you and make you more receptive to your inner voice.
Meditation takes you outside the mundane and ego-centric sphere of your daily routines and habits of thinking.
It strengthens your connection to your heart — and thereby to your soul and to those connected with it.
Allow this practice to deepen your connection to your hidden self, and you’ll wonder how you ever went a day without it.
3. Spice up that bucket list.
If you have a bucket list, ask yourself what you could add to it that scares you — at least a little.
Do something that makes you feel way out of your element.
Do a public speaking gig. Or try karaoke — or stand-up comedy.
Put yourself out there and do something terrifying, even if someone is threatening to record the whole thing.
Especially if someone is threatening to record the whole thing!
4. Learn a new creative skill.
Maybe you’ve always been wondering why your mom liked knitting (or crocheting) so much.
Or maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to code, so you can design and create your own mobile apps.
Whatever creative project makes you feel more awake than you did five seconds ago, why not set aside some time each week and get acquainted with it?
Think of what you’ll want to make for your first big project, and start by learning what you need to learn to get closer to that.
Then go forth and create something you’ll be proud of.
5. Embrace a new challenge.
This is related to the bucket list thing but more spontaneous.
Someone invites you to give a speech, and rather than bolt out the back door, you clear your throat and walk up to the podium — terrified but also determined to embrace the challenge.
Or your boss has asked someone to step up and handle a project that will probably stretch you in every possible direction.
And the only thing holding you back is your fear of failure.
It’s safer to stay in the comfort zone. But no one grows in there.
6. Have more meaningful conversations.
Make time for more frequent and meaningful conversations with the people in your life.
Pay attention to their body language and signs of emotional or mental distress and offer yourself as a sounding board.
And listen to understand — not to win an argument or to present yourself as the fixer of all problems.
Use this as an opportunity to understand the other person better.
You’ll likely come away with a deeper knowledge of yourself, too.
7. Take a personality test (like the MBTI).
If you’ve never taken the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), give it try.
It doesn’t take long, and it can reveal things about you that you might’ve noticed but haven’t really thought about.
Maybe you want some clues about what type of work would make you feel most alive and most fully yourself.
Those clues are just one of the perks of getting to know your personality traits.
You don’t have to agree with every detail in your type description, either. Let your gut guide you on this one.
8. Play conversation games.
The next time you meet up with friends or have a date with your significant other, try a conversation game.
They usually involve questions that you have to answer honestly and without second-guessing yourself.
You might be surprised by what comes out of your mouth.
And if it starts a lively conversation, use it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the other participant/s.
Again, the purpose is to grow in understanding — not to win at someone else’s expense.
9. Talk to a pro.
Sometimes, it helps to talk to someone whose job it is to understand you so they can help you make better choices.
Whether this person is a counselor, a mentor, a coach, or a spiritual director, make time to connect with them on a regular basis.
If this person says something to you about yourself that you don’t like or that you disagree with, keep calm, and look for signs in your life that contradict their assessment.
Offer those signs to help them understand what you’re thinking and to gain a fuller understanding of what they’ve noticed.
Real pros don’t assume they’ve got you “all figured out”; they keep digging. And their insights help you do the same.
10. Answer other people’s questions.
Sometimes, helping other people with their questions helps you understand your own beliefs more clearly. Quora is a great place to do this.
Some will disagree with you, too.
Whatever they write, keep your responses civil and remember that their reactions have more to do with their own experiences and attitudes than with you.
Write each answer as a personal and heartfelt message to the person who posted the question.
Be honest, keep it clear and focused (i.e., tangent-free), and be as helpful as possible.
11. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
At the risk of becoming someone else’s cautionary tale, don’t be afraid to show people more of who you are.
Not everyone will like you, and sooner or later, you’ll have to accept that.
But while some folks might judge you for what you reveal, some will feel less alone in the world because of it.
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And if those who judge you seem the loudest, think of why they might be reacting so strongly. It’s not really about you.
In any case, it’ll help you get over the fear of making a fool of yourself.
Learn to celebrate every colossal embarrassment (as long as no one gets hurt).
12. Write a mission statement.
Start with a list of your core values (check out this post to help with that).
Then write the answer to the question, “What is the most important thing I want to accomplish with my life?”
Or write your own obituary, pretending to be a loved one remembering you as you were.
Imagine what you’d want people you care about to remember from their time with you.
Ask yourself what gets you up in the morning and what keeps you up at night.
And take the time to answer those questions honestly.
13. Create a vision board (real or virtual).
Creating a vision board is a fun project whether you’re using poster board or creating your own slideshow or YouTube video.
If it’s an online vision board app, you can even share it with those who will appreciate it, and encourage them to make their own and share it with you.
Whatever your medium, it’s vitally important that you take time to visualize the life story you’re creating.
And in order for the visualization to be effective, you need to involve your emotions.
Imagine yourself living that life, going through the perfect day from start to finish.
And ask yourself, throughout the experience, what you’re feeling. Be honest and modify your vision as necessary.
This one definitely is about you.
14. Experiment with new spiritual tools.
If you’ve ever felt even the gentlest tug toward a particular spiritual practice, be honest with yourself and take the time to learn more about it.
You don’t have to jump in with both feet – especially if you grew up with taboos that have held you back – but you owe it to yourself to learn more.
In any case, the more you know about the practice, the more you’ll understand your own inner leanings.
And the better informed you’ll be when you decide to either dive in or walk away.
So, whether you’re considering rune stones, numerology, tarot cards, or something else, give it a fair trial and listen to your heart as you learn more about it.
Do you want to understand yourself better?
Which of these tips excite you the most?
What will you do today to begin understanding yourself better than you do now?
And what people come to mind as those who can best help you with this?
However you start, don’t let a day pass without doing something to grow your self-knowledge.
And do what you can to grow in understanding of your loved ones and of other people in your life.
Because we’re connected, any growth in your understanding of one person carries over into your relationships with everyone, including yourself.
May your understanding and your thoughtfulness influence everything you do today.
What I want and how to understand myself
Psychology
Many people live quietly without thinking about what they want, just following the standard sequence: school, college, work, relationships, family, pension. Somehow, or rather, like everyone else. But also, sooner or later, many people begin to worry about a reasonable question: does this all make me happy? And if not, what do I really want?
As the classic said, “the most precious thing for a person is life. It is given to him once, and it must be lived in such a way that it is not excruciatingly painful for the aimlessly lived years. Psychologist Irina Tkacheva adds: “You may not have one life, but the one that is happening now is definitely unique.
Make the most of it by doing what makes you happy (happy). And in order to bring true desires to the surface, you need to understand yourself and your feelings. Don't delay, get started now!"
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If you don't know what you really want from life, you are not alone. Thousands, if not millions, of earthlings are preoccupied with unraveling the personal secret of a happy life. And if you want to save time on introspection, check out 20 expert tips on How to Understand Yourself and Understand What I Want.
1. Be selfish
Advice number one is sure to resonate with discomfort in your empathically developed consciousness. Q.E.D. You are too concerned about the happiness of others and are used to pushing your own interests to hell. Cancel this rotten strategy once and for all. Thinking about yourself first and putting yourself first is absolutely normal.
Because if you don't, no one else will. Your happiness is in your hands. Realized? Now ask yourself: if you weren't tied to work, family, friends, or anything else, what would you be doing right now?
2. Don't be sorry
Nothing. It doesn't make sense. Reflection within reason - it's OK not to repeat the same mistakes again. And that's it, no more. Close the door to the past and let yourself go free. Time flows for us in one direction. If you constantly regret what you did or didn't do, you won't be able to move forward. Live in the present. And a little bit of the future - to see the desired goals.
3. Determine what you like
(Imaginary) freedom from attitudes and responsibilities will help you understand yourself and understand yourself. Imagine that everything is achievable, without limits, and determine what is most desirable for you in this situation. Love? Freedom of expression? Financial security? Something other? Do not rush, again on the advice of the classic, study desires "with feeling, with sense, with arrangement.
" Make a list of honest personal priorities. This self-guided and completely free analysis will help you determine which aspects of your life require more attention and what is preventing you from living the life you want.
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4. Decide what you don't like
It's more comfortable to take off from something not cute. Think about what you don't like and try to be specific in your definitions. For example, the statement “I hate my job” needs to be developed by asking yourself the question “Why?”. Maybe because of the general manager? Or his stupid cologne? Annoyed by your job title? The load that has fallen in recent months? Or a route to the office that includes four transfers by public transport? Or all at once? How can this be fixed? And you want to fix something or have long decided that this job is not for you?
5.
Remember what makes you happy Developing the topic of point three. Your happiness is the goal of all desires. They should rejoice in their hearts. If it is difficult to allow yourself to wish to the fullest, remember your childhood dreams. What thoughts in that carefree time pleased you the most, inspiring the most grandiose hopes? Once you figure out what makes you happy, you will have an idea of what to strive for in life. In fact, it's easier than it seems: you have no one to fear or be ashamed of - your happiness is at stake.
6. Share your plans with loved ones
Do not keep your goals and desires to yourself — share them with your friend, loved one, mother, after all. If you tell your heart what you want to achieve, they will most likely support you and give you fresh ideas. It's inspiring!
7. Start a diary or blog
Splash out your feelings, thoughts, experiences in words and paragraphs. This habit is a great tool for anyone who wants to understand themselves, as it promotes emotional release, gives confidence, teaches constructive reflection and pumps philosophical skills, which is always a pleasure to show off in an intelligent company.
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everything will work out!” Listen to your intuition - it knows absolutely everything about your potential.
9. Take "hints"
You don't have to go to a fortuneteller or study horoscopes. Signs are everywhere, you just need to be able to perceive them. Contacts, suggestions, directions - be open to new things if you feel that it has come for a reason. You cannot know the path to the dream to the details, a lot depends on chance, luck or fate - whichever you prefer. Your task is to receive the signal and correct the vector.
10. Bet on the positive
Life doesn't always go the way you want or want to. Don't be discouraged if your plans falter - discard the illusion of control and accept what is happening as it is. Do not resist reality, but adapt to it, learning from the current stagnation or disappointment.
Someday you will definitely reach the goal, but now for some reason you need this little detour. Sometimes a positive attitude is all you need to keep moving forward.
11. Expect pleasant things
Think about the impressions that will come when you do what you love or achieve what you want. Nicely? Imagine often to reinforce the pull of happiness that will push you in the right direction.
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12. Plan your perfect week
Take a moment and plan your perfect day, or better yet, a week. Approximate schedule with a harmonious balance of "want" and "should". If you have forgotten how to do this, remember some wonderful days in your life and take them as a basis.
13. Find those whom you envy
Idols, whose life seems to be the life of a dream, also help you understand yourself. It doesn’t matter what virtues seduce you - figure, style, knowledge, money - as long as this feeling is sincere and inspires you to accomplish.
Existing sources of your envy (they are easy to identify on the Instagram feed) (an extremist organization banned in Russia) is an important indicator of what you (secretly or openly) want from life.
14. Try something new
Hobbies, dating, food, drinks, places, experiences - by trying new things, you expand the range of possibilities to better understand what you like and what you don't.
15. Take time for self-development
Music, movies, books are important sources of inspiration and self-development, if you don't gravitate towards comedies with poop jokes and romance novels in pocketbooks. Well, so be it, but it's time to use the cognitive resource to good use. Solely for the sake of their own prosperity and peace of mind.
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16. Create
Art is the main catalyst for the “how to understand yourself” project.
Drawing pictures, dancing, participating in performances, cross-stitching, you awaken your true self, which is accustomed to dozing under a blanket of social requirements and standards. Be creative, dare and be bolder, revealing your talents to the world.
17. Get out of your comfort zone
So what if you've never practiced yoga. Or they didn't read poetry from the stage. Do you feel like it? So sign up and learn. It just seems like it will never work. Experience, how confidence and flexibility come with practice, and all constraints and conventions are in your head.
18. Ask yourself where you want to live.
We choose our job or partner thoughtfully, but we usually assume where we live. The habit of immobility was ingrained in the genes of the ancestors who lived behind the Iron Curtain, and now this damn virus. But still, allow yourself to dream. Think about where you would like to live for the next few years of your life.
Which city? Country? Climate? Sea or mountains? Megapolis or cozy green town? Europe or Altai village? The concept of “your place” is another one of the psychological strategies for understanding yourself.
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19. Find a job that you love
The type of work should fit your ideal life. On the contrary, as most admit, it is the simplest recipe for unhappiness.
20. Always ask yourself a question (and more than one!)
Every day, at any time, in any, especially difficult situation, ask yourself a simple question: what (now, in my place) would a person who loves himself do? And when you answer, do just that. And often ask yourself: “What kind of life do I want?” and “Does the way I live fit my dreams and idea of happiness?” Stick to these guidelines, remember that your life belongs to you.
Smirnova Natasha
Tags
- Psychology
- mental health
Three ways to know yourself better
One of the main obstacles to knowing yourself is constant employment.
We run, something distracts us, we try to do several things at the same time. It is difficult to tune in to self-knowledge. And you need to tune in a quiet environment, listening to thoughts and emotions, the body that speaks the language of physical sensations.
We drown out our sensitivity. Most lose touch with themselves. Being distracted by correspondence on your smartphone at lunch, you stop feeling the taste of food. As a result, you miss signals that let you know how you feel and help you figure out why.
Why is it important to understand yourself?
When we know ourselves well, it is easier for us to achieve success. This is logical - if we set goals that match our skills, interests and values, we are much more likely to achieve them.
Understanding ourselves, we become kinder to ourselves - if you understand why you acted one way or another, then you see that you did everything you could do in this situation, and it is easier for you to forgive yourself for mistakes.
Knowing how you feel makes it easier for you to meet your emotional needs. You better understand what you need from others.
To truly live, you need to accept yourself as you are. Understand what is important to you and muster up the courage to be yourself, not what others want you to be. Here are some tips.
Listen to yourself
How do your thoughts make you feel? Without judging or judging, pay attention to what emotions they evoke. This process will help you realize a lot - what affects your mood, how you feel about yourself and others.
If your own thoughts make you angry or helpless, a psychotherapist can help you understand what is hidden in the depths of your psyche.
Ask yourself the right questions
We often ask questions like “What are you doing? What do you need?". Instead, ask, “What is important to you? What are you worried about? This will help you better understand your interests and the meaning of your life.
If we are not interested in what we do, life turns into a burdensome duty, loses its meaning.
On the contrary, if we do what is important, then we feel a surge of energy and gain meaning. Make a list of what is important to you and consider how these values are present in everyday life.
Pay attention to what bothers you in the behavior of others
We can learn a lot by paying attention to what we don't like about others. Carl Jung suggested using the term Shadow - those parts of our personality that we do not want to know about. He pointed out that we often see things in others that we don't want to see in ourselves. If we start to understand why some people annoy us so much, we can get in touch with these hidden parts of our personality - namely, they help us grow and develop.
As an illustration, psychologist Lisa Marciano gives a real-life example: “My former colleague was a very attractive woman and understood this very well. She loved to flirt and be the center of attention. It annoyed me. When I noticed this, I wondered why these qualities aroused such strong emotions in me.
