I am overwhelmed by you
Feeling Overwhelmed? These 8 Techniques Can Help
By 10 pm on Thursday, I had hit my limit. I’d just finished my third music rehearsal of the day, and all I wanted to do was collapse in bed. But I still had several hours of homework to finish for Friday’s classes before I could even think about sleeping.
At this point in the semester, I knew I needed to make a change. I’d felt overwhelmed for weeks, but the stress had finally accumulated to the point that it was affecting my health and relationships. I knew if I didn’t change something soon, I risked a breakdown.
If you’re like a lot of college students, you’ve probably experienced something similar. And even beyond college, it’s common to find yourself overwhelmed with the demands of work, family, finances, and social life.
How can you stop feeling overwhelmed and regain control of your life?
That’s what I’m going to explore in this article. I’ll start by taking a look at why we feel overwhelmed in the first place. Then, I’ll share some tactics that I use to get back on track when the feeling of overwhelm sets in.
Why Do You Feel Overwhelmed?
Before you can stop feeling overwhelmed, you need to figure out why you’re feeling overwhelmed in the first place.
There are many possible reasons, but there are a few that tend to crop up over and over:
- Disorganization
- Procrastination
- Overcommitment
Let’s take a closer look at each of these possible causes:
Disorganization
When you’re disorganized, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. This is because extreme disorganization means you’re constantly reacting to life. For instance, if you find yourself rushing to appointments at the last minute or starting each day with no idea what you need to do, overwhelm will quickly set in.
Luckily, there are concrete steps you can take to become more organized. I’ll cover many of these strategies in more detail below, but I also suggest taking a look at our guide to staying organized and productive in college.
Procrastination
When I was in college, there were far too many nights where I had to write multiple papers, read dozens of pages, and cram for a music rehearsal. But this wasn’t because my professors gave unreasonable amounts of homework. These packed nights were entirely my fault, the result of my own procrastination.
If you feel like you’re drowning in work, procrastination is likely the culprit. While it can be a tricky habit to change, it is possible. The Pomodoro technique can be particularly effective, as well as becoming more organized (disorganization and procrastination often go hand in hand).
Overcommitment
No matter how organized you are, it’s still possible to get overwhelmed if you take on too many commitments. There are only so many hours in a day, and you’re going to feel overwhelmed if you spend all of them working or rushing to meetings.
And if you overcommit yourself while also being disorganized and procrastinating, then you can get extremely overwhelmed.
Important Note: While one (or all) of the above is likely what’s causing you to feel overwhelmed, it’s also possible that your feelings stem from an anxiety disorder, depression, or another mental illness.
If you’re concerned this is the case, or if you’re feeling so overwhelmed that you struggle to complete regular daily tasks, then you should talk to a mental health professional. For help finding one, check out this guide from the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
8 Ways to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed
Now that you understand why you’re feeling overwhelmed, let’s take a look at some ways to be proactive and live a more relaxed, manageable life.
Do a Reset
I mentioned earlier that being organized can help prevent you from being overwhelmed. Often, however, being overwhelmed is a sign that your organizational systems have fallen apart.
For instance, if you’re in the middle of a huge project such as a final paper or presentation, then it’s easy to neglect your calendar and stop using your to-do list.
This is fine in the short-term; sometimes a project requires so much focus that you really don’t have the attention for anything else.
However, working this way all the time will turn your life into chaos. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a few days to reorganize your life. The details will differ depending on the systems you use, but here are some ideas for getting started:
- Go through your to-do list and get it up to date.
- Check your calendar to make sure it reflects all of your upcoming appointments, meetings, and other events.
- Clean and organize your physical workspace.
- Find items that you aren’t using and donate, recycle, or throw them away.
Often, these simple actions will be enough to make you feel organized and in control once more.
Reestablish Your Routine
Besides an organizational system, the other key facet of productivity is a system of habits and routines.
It’s easy to neglect your routines because you’re so busy that you “don’t have time.
”
But instead of viewing routines as a waste of time, as something to cast aside when you’re busy, you should view them as an essential building block of working effectively. After all, routines are what ground you and give your life structure.
If your routines have fallen apart, then it’s best to add habits back in slowly. Otherwise, you risk getting even more overwhelmed and giving up. I recommend starting with a simple morning routine along these lines:
- Wake up early (whatever that means to you)
- Drink a glass of water
- Get some exercise (can be as simple as a short walk)
Once you’ve stuck with this simple routine for a few weeks, you can add in more complex activities like reading, writing, or practicing a skill.
Define Your Priorities and Say No to Everything Else
Every time you have an opportunity, it’s tempting to say yes. If you say no, you’re just missing out, right?
This mindset is destructive in the long run because it fractures your time and attention amongst dozens of low-value activities.
To overcome the temptation to say yes to every opportunity, you need to define your priorities.
What really matters to you? What activities give you energy, bring you joy, or are simply necessary for your existence? Really think about this, and make a list. Enthusiastically say yes to any opportunity that fits into your priorities, but say no to everything else.
Not only will this prevent you from getting overwhelmed, but it will also allow you to focus more energy on the activities that truly matter. This means you’ll actually accomplish more in the long run.
Be Selfish (In the Right Way)
I have several friends and family members who always want to help others. Whenever someone needs something, they’ll help no matter what.
While this selflessness is noble, it’s possible to take it too far. If you spend all of your time living for others, then you risk neglecting yourself. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, maybe it’s because you need to take some time for yourself.
I know this can be hard to do, that it can feel like you’re being selfish. But taking some time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s self-care. And when you take some time to care for yourself, you’ll ultimately be more effective at helping others.
Ignore the Workaholic Cult
There’s nothing wrong with working hard; it’s essential for achieving your goals. But there’s a fine line between hard work and workaholism.
These days more than ever, there can be immense pressure to work all the time. Between checking work email on your phone, always having access to documents and presentations, and texting your boss in the evening, it’s also more possible than ever to work all the time.
The sources of this pressure can vary, ranging from company culture to peers to your boss to even the media. Wherever the pressure is coming from, however, you need to resist it. Working all the time is neither a healthy way to live nor an effective way to work.
The constant pressure to work can affect your sleep, your relationships, and your health.
And often, the “work” you’re doing produces little of value. Staying up late to finish a big presentation is one thing, but staying up late just to monitor work emails that can almost certainly wait until morning is quite another.
If you’re feeling pressure to work all the time, ask yourself where it’s coming from. If you have a terrible boss putting the pressure on you, then you may need to find a different job with healthier work culture.
More commonly, however, you’re putting the pressure on yourself. In this case, you need to set some boundaries:
- Use an app like Freedom to block your email after a certain hour.
- Leave your work computer at work.
- Politely make it clear to coworkers and clients that they can only reach you during regular business hours.
- Find a hobby or join a club so that you have something else to do during the evenings.
Swallow Your Pride
If you’re a high-achieving, ambitious person, then you may be proud of your ability to juggle many commitments at once.
And if you start to feel overwhelmed, you may try to “push through” because admitting that you’ve taken on too much feels like failure.
But tying your personal worth to how much you can do at once is toxic. If you only view yourself as the sum of what you can do, you’re going to feel terrible. Worse, this mindset will prevent you from scaling things back when you get overwhelmed, which can destroy you (and your relationships) with time.
So if you think that admitting you’re overwhelmed is a form of failure, swallow your pride. You’re more than the sum of your achievements, and it’s okay to cut back when you’ve taken on too much.
Practice Calming Techniques
Whether you’re overwhelmed or just a bit stressed, there are many simple things you can do to feel calmer right now. Here are a few that I find helpful:
- Deep breathing
- Meditation
- Yoga/stretching
- Taking a walk
- Aerobic exercise
- Journaling
- Taking a hot shower or bath
- Listening to a song I enjoy
And these are just a few of many possibilities.
The goal is to find something that brings you calm.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
So far, I’ve focused on things that you can do by yourself to stop feeling overwhelmed. But in many cases, it’s worth seeking outside help.
This could be as simple as meeting with (or calling) a friend or family member to vent. Talking about it out loud can help you realize both why you’re overwhelmed and how you can fix it.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed because of work, talk to your boss. A good boss will listen to you and work to help you create a more balanced schedule. If your boss isn’t willing to help, it may be time to find a different job.
In the case of college, you can talk to your advisor, department chair, or one of the many other people available to help you succeed. These people are experts at making college work for you, so don’t overlook them.
Finally, don’t rule out talking to a counselor, psychiatrist, or medical professional. These people are expert listeners, and they can also help you figure out if you’re overwhelmed because of an illness (and help you get the treatment you need to feel better).
Being Overwhelmed Isn’t Fate
I hope this article has shown you some ways to stop being overwhelmed and get back to living your life.
Whether it’s resetting your organizational systems, learning to say “no,” or asking someone for help, being overwhelmed isn’t an inescapable fate. It’s something you can change with time and the right actions.
Image Credits: man covering face with hands
Overwhelmed - Big Daddy Weave MP3 download | Overwhelmed - Big Daddy Weave Lyrics
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Overwhelmed
Artist: Big Daddy Weave Album: Ultimate Worship- Genre:Inspirational
- Year of Release:2012
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Read online "I look at you and cherish ... Poems", Nikolai Ivanovich Angolenko - LitRes
© Nikolay Ivanovich Angolenko, 2018
ISBN 978-5-4490-4405-1
Created in the intellectual publishing system Ridero
Dear reader!
Thank you for choosing to read my poems.
I am a beginner poet. In addition, he wrote, typeset and designed himself. Therefore, if somewhere, something is wrong, I apologize in advance.
Read poetry slowly. Comma - stop for a moment, dash - a little longer.
While reading, try to visualize and be involved in what is happening.
Given that reading poetry improves mood and prolongs life, I sincerely wish all readers all the very best in life!
Sincerely, N.I. Angolenko
PS:
After reading the collection, you can call me by phone and tell me everything!
If good - 8-916-626-3006, and if bad - encrypted: 17-13-16-12-16.
I look at you and fall in love
I look at you and get angry,
I can’t see enough of everything,
I don’t dare to say I love you,
I don’t want to say anything else.
You are more beautiful with each birthday,
You become sweeter every day,
There are women who are beautiful too,
But I will say: you are more beautiful!
Kissing the hand, I go numb,
And thoughts fly somersault,
I am in awe of you,
I would not lose the gift of speech.
Your curl is soft and fragrant,
Eyelashes - fluffy chick.
Your languid gaze is so sparkling,
That all men will be shocked.
I congratulate you on your birthday,
I wish you love and tenderness,
And always be beautiful,
Adversity in life - never!
I wish you to always be healthy,
Never know sorrows, sorrows,
Always be cheerful in life,
Remember me longer.
I'm looking at you...
I'm looking, I'm looking...
And I understand, I understand,
I can't see enough!
Nymph
I saw her in the theater
The tails were fluttering on the dress,
Emphasizing the slenderness of the figure,
The midtones shimmered,
Drowning in the inflorescence of highlights.
Her eyes are so languid,
That you can't take your eyes off,
Slightly covered with veil,
Watched, gliding regally.
The gaze is gentle, bright, majestic,
Like in that slow motion movie,
All-penetrating, sly…
This is how Venus works.
Her eyelashes are a fan,
She looked from under them,
My soul trembled,
I turned into ashes in an instant.
That look to the hostess knows the price,
Like the hostess about herself,
Lucky is the one who contemplates,
And a guide in her fate.
Figure - turned marble,
Tiles for top magazines,
Semi-nude under the dress
Torso - a model for art.
Hairstyle - the hands of a super stylist,
A dress in pastel colors,
Face - perfection from God ...
Write a portrait from him in verse.
Necklace around the neck of Nefertiti,
Of diamonds, pearls,
Gold threads in the hairpin
Shine like halos of the gods.
How beautiful that pearl is,
The setting is also good,
Her partner, beaming with happiness,
Teasing the souls of the beholder.
And the lips of the forest Dryad -
Like roses with scarlet petals,
They radiated passion
From intoxicated beauty.
I can't tear my eyes away,
I pierced her with my eyes,
My blood boiled in my veins,
When she glanced casually.
As if through a fog, I look at the fairy,
And the blood in my temples beats like an alarm,
After all, someone who is next to her,
Drinks her nectar at night!
I am numb from white envy,
Like an idol, I stand, I am silent.
I turn to stone from perfection,
I don't think I'll heal my wounds.
And I stand modestly on the sidelines,
And secretly slipping through my thoughts:
It's impossible to have one like that,
I can't love her.
I don't live, I exist,
She lives savoring life.
I wish I had such a woman...
I shot up in my thoughts
Fairy
You were late for your date,
And I was extremely indignant!
There was even a desire to leave,
Well, before that he was offended.
You appeared like a fairy from the sky,
I was amazed by you,
You changed so pleasantly,
I was delighted at that moment.
You said sorry,
I was at the photo session,
For a very fashionable magazine,
And I stayed there for so long.
The stylist worked on you,
He conjured everything with your face,
Either with a hairdryer, varnish, or a comb ...
, in short, he exhausted you.
Then they all turned on the spotlights,
Almost all the spotlights,
All together they made everything so hot,
Like the African heat.
The photographer kept clicking the camera,
Both in full profile and full face,
An annoying assistant ran,
Asked to click in reserve.
I was not allowed to call,
To warn you,
But they were in a hurry with the photo session,
To release me.
I'm so tired, tired,
I want to have a little rest,
I understand, I was guilty,
But I want to wave in the cafe.
A week later at 9 Boulevard0035 I saw her face,
In the same glossy magazine,
He was put behind glass.
I stood and admired her,
She is still beautiful,
I decided to say goodbye to freedom,
I married her, lovingly!
The news stunned me
The news stunned me!
Like thunder on a sunny day.
I didn't immediately understand what was going on here:
Confusion, grief or trouble?
I have been waiting for this judgment day for a long time.
But so suddenly - and did not think!
I am petrified inwardly,
But it seems that my God has planned it this way.
Always afraid of your eyes,
Burning me with a beam.
When I was near, immediately
I felt you with my soul.
You radiate rays of happiness,
You are fragrant with beauty,
You will be happy with heavenly happiness,
Who will be next to you.
I won't forget your radiant look,
Your tender smile,
Your fluffy curl of hair
And my bright tenderness.
I tied you like a chain,
All my thoughts, dreams.
Consciousness prompted the request:
Break that invisible chain!
Devastated my soul,
Dispelled my dreams,
And it became cold, like a cold,
What did you do to me?!
You came here from a fairy tale,
And you will go to a fairy tale now,
A ray of hope appeared
And that hour disappeared forever.
Perhaps you will remember sometimes,
I will never forget!
I will never forget
And I will always remember,
After all, I ...
There is no point in writing further,
To catch up with melancholy,
I ask my friends to understand,
I will be very sad!
Let go of your charms...
Bonfire of love
On the river bank on the grass,
Where there were paradises,
In a reverent atmosphere
Lovers lit a fire.
The fire quietly flared up,
Slowly, smoking a little,
Then, prankster, broke out,
Instantly scattered the frying pan.
Then with his tongues
He illuminated everything around him
And life with light scarves
He covered everything and sanctified it.
The frying pan sang and danced,
Life affirmatively trembled,
It threw sparks up from the fire,
Love is precious for a moment.
The fire completely raged,
It crackled joyfully, hummed
And rushed to the stars in the skies,
Touching the string of love.
The fire burned, illuminating everything,
Life enjoyed with him,
Watching souls warming
Love abundance.
Love burned and burned,
While the fire burned, burned,
Love only cooled then,
When the fire cooled down a little.
Playing with a beautiful flame,
The fire of love was fragrant,
Probably knowing his fate,
The fire was quietly dying out.
The frying pan began to decrease,
There were no bright tongues,
It remains only to enjoy
The glow of bright lights.
The flame did not break out,
The fire of love completely went out,
And one should admire,
How Pegasus jumps in the smoke.
The embers, blushing, were burning down,
Having given away the last warmth,
They absorbed the longing of love into themselves,
Without letting the fire of love burn,
You can barely see the coals through the ashes,
Only sparks sometimes fly,
And it became a shame for love, 900 they are burning in the fire.
The fire went out, the ashes remained,
Keeping the sacrament of that love,
He didn't drink love to the end,
A moment of scolding.
And a light breeze will scatter
The beautiful ashes of that love,
Only the memory of the fire will evoke
About those who were here, who are they?
Two burned in the fire of love,
In the fire, not sparing each other...
But by the river the other two
Will burn, finding love in the fire.
In the park
We somehow walked through the park in the summer
Together with my fantasy.
I was suddenly lit up with light,
I instantly thought of mine.
The girl was standing on the grass
With genuine kindness.
She charmed us both,
And surprised us with her beauty.
She shone with such beauty,
It seemed that she could not be more beautiful,
I understood that I was not standing,
But I so wanted to approach.
Fantasy got ahead of
And flew away from me,
Hastily jumped up to her,
Presenting itself instead of me.
Fantasy grew bolder here,
Trying to hug a girl,
She was literally speechless,
Only I could understand her.
Fantasy raged,
In the cut, diving under the blouse,
Like a sweet tooth enjoyed,
Hurt the girl's body.
Fantasy rushed headlong,
Look into that tenderness in the eyes,
She plunged into nirvana,
And drag the girl with her.
Caressed her with swan down
All hidden places,
Penetrated into her mind,
Tickling ears and lips.
My fantasy wanted
Spiritual female kindness,
Caressed with satin tenderness,
Having drunk the desired nudity.
Fantasy anticipated
My desires and dreams,
It seemed to saturate me with
Balm of female beauty.
While the fantasy was playing,
As it sometimes seemed to me,
The girl tried to tell me,
But she gave me no sign.
A woman's smell excites,
I get drunk instantly from it,
Generates thoughts in consciousness,
Desires would be realized in them.
And it was necessary to fall in love like that,
Consciousness in my head breaking,
We would unite together,
There would be a wonderful family.
But the girl left on the grass,
Looking reproachfully at me.
On that warm summer evening in the park
I remained a bachelor.
I remember very often
That meeting in the city park
And every time I scold myself,
That I'm so indecisive.
How many fates did not work out
From false modesty, friends,
And so that fate does not break,
We must not lose hope.
WHO IS GUILTY, OR A WOMAN'S CONFESSION AT THE FONTANKA THEATER — St. Petersburg State Youth Theater on the Fontanka
Source - Petersburg Diary of June 15, 2022
Text - Marina ALEKSEEVA
The latest premiere of the Youth Theater on the Fontanka "I'm waiting for you, my love .
.." is not just a performance, but an acute social project. It consists of two parts: a performance and a meeting with psychologists who, together with the audience, discuss the problems raised in the play
It often happens that after watching a play, you want to discuss it with one of your friends. Share your impressions, express your opinion, compare it with the opinions of other people. The Youth Theater on Fontanka, which presented a one-man show “I'm waiting for you, my love ...” based on the play by Nobel laureate in literature Dario Fo and Franka Ramé, offers this, and even a slightly greater opportunity to its audience.
The illusion of happiness
It is about the fate of Maria (actress Nina Lolenko), who seems to embody all the misfortunes that can befall a woman. This is jealousy, betrayal, physical and moral violence.
The heroine is locked in the apartment by her husband out of jealousy and feels infinitely lonely. Formally, this is far from being the case, because she has a spouse, children, a paralyzed brother-in-law, but she has no one to pour out her soul.
“Well, will you talk to them?” - She repeats several times during the performance.
And only when a new neighbor appears in the house opposite, Maria begins to gradually open up. At the beginning, she tells how happy she is because she has a refrigerator, a dishwasher, a blender, and even four fur coats. But from episode to episode it becomes clearer that neither a well-fed life, nor a student lover, with whom she is going to flee to America at some point, make her happy.
Looking for an answer
Is the tyrant husband to blame for this, cheating on her with a young girl? Or maybe she herself? Are there any limits to spiritual and physical violence against a person? And how to deal with codependency and abuse in family relationships? After the performance, the audience is looking for answers to these questions together with the specialists of the Lighthouse psychological counseling center for addictions and destructive relationships Darina Ilyanina and Vadim Petrov.
The poll that they conducted during the intermission showed that the majority of the audience, albeit with some reservations, is on the side of the heroine.
“She is just a weak woman, a victim of abuse,” some say. “Maria creates the illusion of a wonderful family life, allowing her to come to terms with what it is criminal to put up with,” say others. “No, she herself is to blame for everything. What I chose, I got, ”the third retort. Well, most viewers are in no hurry with the verdict, because they believe that in family troubles there are no right and wrong. And, if life does not add up, then, as a rule, both are to blame.
Expert opinion
What do professional psychologists think about the current situation? “PD” asked them three questions each, asking them to substantiate the male and female points of view.
1. Who is to blame for this situation?
2. Have you encountered similar cases in your life?
3. What should those who would like to improve their personal lives do?
Darina Ilyanina: “The main thing is to stop being silent!”
1.
I think, no matter how the heroine finds herself in this situation, whether she accidentally fell under a train, or she had internal prerequisites, for example, an abusive father, the rapist is always to blame for violence. And here, it seems to me, a woman has the right to free will, to feelings and sympathy. And we in society, unfortunately, most often face the fact that we begin to blame the victim.
2. I was contacted by a woman who had been married for about 15 years. And all these years her husband cheated on her, but she seemed not to notice, because she loved him and was afraid to lose him. But one day my husband started having problems at work, the betrayals ended, and he began to recoup her and beat her. And friends continued to believe that they had an ideal family. And only after the woman read an article about abuse, where she was advised not to hide the truth, she told about everything she knew, turned to me, and we began to work on defending her borders.
3.
The most important thing is to stop being silent, you need to speak. I have seen many successful examples when a woman who is used to pretending that everything is fine in her family one day decides to break this illusion and tell the truth to her loved ones. And very often the husband begins to change his behavior, because he does not want to remain in such an ugly image.
If there is no way to talk with friends, you can contact the helpline or a psychologist. Not necessarily paid. We have crisis centers in our country for women who find themselves in a difficult life situation.
Vadim Petrov: “Both of them are to blame”
1. If you look from the husband's point of view, he somehow explains the situation with his wife being locked up at home. Of course, one can assume that this is a pathological criminal. But if we assume that this is an ordinary person who has his pros and cons, then most likely he considers himself a savior, taking care of a crazy wife who either makes suicidal attempts or cheats on him.
And he, in his mind, is trying to save the family. That is, it plays the role of a rescuer.
2. For me, both of them injure themselves in this pair, and it's hard to even say who is more. This is codependency that I have had to deal with more than once. I was amazed how many men who come to our center choose women who have some kind of emotional swings. And the paradox is that even if the wife, for example, dies, he will find the next one. He exists as long as he saves her. So he runs away from himself. Dependent relationships are always progressing.
3. What should I do? Nothing easier. Terminate relationships either on the side or the main ones. After all, treason is when I get something out of the house that I can’t get in the family. But in order to save the family, one must try to negotiate with his own wife. But this is difficult for him. He is more accustomed to believing that she is abnormal, and to play the role of a Cerberus. In fact, he uses both women until a crisis occurs.
