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How to make the right choice


Decision making 101 | Problem solving

Life is full of choices. Some are easy, such as what to have for dinner (cheeseburger thank you), and others, more serious, like, for instance, choosing a career. Regardless of how important a decision is, good decision skills are useful in life, especially if you feel indecisive about something and it’s getting you down. Get tips on how to make good decisions, and find out what to do when you can’t figure out a plan.

Why good decision making helps

People make decisions all throughout their day, most of which are straightforward and don’t require much thought. However, when situations are more complicated and have longer term impacts, it’s easy to feel unsure or hesitant.

When faced with a tough decision it’s common to feel:

  • overwhelmed
  • stressed or anxious
  • wound up
  • pressured
  • confused
  • distracted
  • tired

Because indecision can have a negative impact on how you’re feeling, it’s important to learn strategies for making positive decisions in tough situations. While you may not be able to guarantee the outcome of a decision before you make it, at least you can know you put a lot of careful thought into it.

Tips for making decisions

Step 1. Don’t let stress get the better of you. It’s easy to feel stressed out and anxious when you’re facing a tough choice. You might tend to rush your decisions without thinking them through, or you avoid making a decision at all because the stress has put you off your game. If you’re feeling anxious about a decision, try to manage your stress so that it doesn’t cloud your thinking. Go for a walk on the beach. Hit up a yoga class or hang out with friends.

Step 2. Give yourself some time (if possible). It’s hard to think clearly under pressure, and sometimes your first idea isn’t always your best one. Give yourself the chance to sit on a problem for a while so that you can process your options and feel confident about the course of action you choose.

Step 3. Weigh the pros and cons. When faced with a big decision, sometimes we lose sight of the big picture. Write a list of pros and cons for each course of action and then compare them. Sometimes the cons aren’t nearly as bad as we imagine them to be, or the pros might make your options more obvious.

Step 4. Think about your goals and values. It’s important to be true to ourselves and what we value in life. When you factor into a decision the things that are important to you, the best option might become obvious. At any rate, you’re more likely to end up with an outcome you’re happy with.

Step 5. Consider all the possibilities. Making a decision can result in several different outcomes and not all of them may be obvious. When considering each option, don’t just list the positives and negatives; write down any likely consequences.

Step 6. Talk it out. It can be helpful to get another person’s perspective on your issue, particularly if they’ve faced a similar decision in their own life.

Step 7. Keep a diary. If you feel like you’re on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, it might help to keep track of your feelings by writing them down.

Step 8. Plan how you’ll tell others. If you think someone may have a bad response to your decision, think through what their reaction is likely to be. Put yourself in their shoes to help you think of a good way to manage the situation.

Step 9. Rethink your options. If you’re up against a lot of pressure over a decision, or there are some new factors to consider, look over your options again. You might decide that your original decision is still the best one, but give yourself the option of changing course. If a decision no longer feels right for you, go through these steps again to figure out a better solution.

If you’re having a tough time

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with negative feelings because you’re facing a tough decision, it’s important to look after yourself. Take some time out to relax or do something you enjoy.

If you’re finding your indecision over a situation is affecting how you get on day to day, it’s a good idea to talk to someone you trust, or visit a counsellor. They’ll be able to help you work through the process of decision making, and guide you through different strategies.

What can I do now?

  • Work on your problem solving skills.
  • Talk to someone you trust about your situation and see if they have any insights to offer.
  • Learn about building good coping skills.

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5 Tips on How to Make the Right Choice

“Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile. ” — Bertrand Russell

Standing at a crossroads and deciding which way to go is a metaphor for life. No matter who you are, you’re going to be faced with situations where you need to make a choice every day. Even deciding to do nothing is a choice, although not the most productive one.

Still, it can be extraordinarily difficult to know what the right choice is. Here are some tips that may help:

This choice isn’t life-altering.

Most likely, the choice you make now isn’t going to drastically change your life. It also isn’t generally going to be of long-term duration. So, you can enter a decision with the confidence that you can revise your actions later, take a different course of action, learn from your mistakes, and keep going. This is often at odds with what you’re feeling emotionally, since the idea of change is scary and venturing into the unknown doesn’t mesh with what you feel are your strengths. Being able to objectively look at this choice and identify it as nonthreatening will help.

Weigh and balance your options, but do act.

You can put off making a decision for a long time, but what does that really get you? It’s just a stall tactic that buys very little and may cost a lot. The wiser approach is to carefully review your options and single out the one that has the most positives going for it. Then, act. It’s much better than sitting by the sidelines doing nothing. Avoid trying to second-guess yourself once you’ve carefully reviewed the options you have and chosen one to act upon. Second-guessing never produces optimum results, but learning from your experiences does.

Seek advice from trusted others, but tailor your actions to suit your circumstances.

It’s OK, even recommended, to ask others what they think. This is especially true the more challenging or important the decision you need to make. After you hear what your network of loved ones, family members, good friends or other trusted individuals have to say, sift everything through the lens of your mind to come up with a plan that will work for your situation. This part is critical. There’s no use adopting a suggestion that will only work for a narrow segment of the population or has nothing to do with the problem or issue you face. The more like your situation, the better. This is not to say, of course, that some good suggestions can come from those who are simply offering options. Brainstorming, in fact, can yield excellent results.

If it doesn’t work, do something else.

No one is going to be successful in making the right choice every time. That’s not how life works. But giving up when you encounter disappointment or failure isn’t the way to get the most out of life. Doing something else, however, is. If you stumble the first time out, it doesn’t mean you’re awful at making choices. It does mean there’s a lesson here you need to learn. Take stock of the lesson and figure out a new approach. You want and need to amass a successful track record. This will occur the more you make decisions with the full input of logical analysis and carry out the actions you’ve determined are necessary.

Find your best time to think about your choices.

If you try to make a decision when you’re stressed out, tired, hungry, angry or depressed, the choice you make may not be well-informed. Instead, pick a time when you’re well rested, full of energy and receptive to taking action. This may be early morning, a mid-afternoon break, or after you wind down at the end of the day. Whatever time works best for your decision-making process, when you feel you can objectively analyze the various choices and come to a reasonable, workable decision, use that time to your advantage. The choices you make will reflect this proactive approach.

An Easy Way to Make a Choice When You're at a Crossroads

88,596

Practicing How toKnow Yourself

Before the Wright brothers, we didn't know we could fly. Before Tesla, we were afraid of lightning and could not imagine that electricity would be in every home. Fear is both a gift that protects us from danger, and at the same time an obsession that makes us petrify.

But there is one thing that feeds fear and helps it grow, and that is our attempts to avoid it. I can't tell you how many times I was afraid of the future, and then every morning I found myself in it - and it was not so scary. nine0003

When we ignore fear, it grows stronger, but it also grows when we only half dare to approach it. So we freeze, not having the courage to move forward.

1. Write a letter from your future reality

  • Take a piece of paper and write your name on it.

  • Think about the difficult choice you are hesitant to make and how it will change your life in the next six months.

  • Think about all the pros and cons, how much work you have to put into it. Think about how it will look in detail: who you will be with, where you will be, what you will do and who will surround you.

  • When a living picture appears in front of you, take a pen and write a letter to yourself from there, from your fulfilled future. Don't forget that this letter is from you of the future - you of today, who are still considering what choice to make.

  • Tell us how you are doing. What did you like and what obstacles did you have to overcome. Tell me why it's good that you did it this way and not otherwise.

  • In the end, don't forget to thank yourself. For doing all the hard work and choosing to make a difference in your life. When you're done, fold the paper and set it aside.

2. Write a letter from your other future

  • Now take another sheet. On this sheet you will write the same letter, but about how you made a different choice.

  • All the same. Write about a difficult decision you made six months ago. That you had to fight with a lot and you succeeded a lot. As detailed as you can.

  • Remember that this letter also needs to end with gratitude to yourself for making this choice and not regretting it.

  • Now put both letters aside for a while.

3. Reread both letters

After a few days or a week, open them and reread them. Pay attention to how you will read them. Will you be relieved by reading one of them? Which one will inspire fear in you? Did something change in you after you re-read these letters from your two future ones now?

This is a very useful exercise, after it it will become easier for you to finally decide and choose one of the two. Especially if you feel fear at the same time. nine0003

Here's why. By writing these letters, you have looked fear in the eye. You have shown that he does not control you, that you are free to choose your future, whether it goes one way or the other.

This exercise also helps you visualize each of these choices in reality. Describing what they will lead to in all details, not forgetting either good or bad, you begin to feel more clearly what your inner instinct is telling you now.

About the judge: Samuel McCree - Coach. nine0072

Notebook

For this exercise, a notebook will be useful, which will become a reliable tool in planning and analyzing life. Use his pages for regular reflection to learn how to make important decisions.

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Text: Maria Malygina Photo source: Unsplash

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how to make the right choices in life and career

We make thousands of decisions every day. At the same time, even small everyday choices are a big burden for the brain. What can we say about turning points, when your career or relationships with loved ones depend on your choice. Anna Stetsenko, founder of Indigo - Tech Recruiters, shares a proven and working tool that will help you make the right choice.

Anna Stetsenko

The more serious the choice and the more it affects our lives, the more we doubt. Arguments "for" and "against" are mixed with emotions, the opinions of colleagues, their own fears and doubts. Decision making is delayed. And in a situation of emotional fatigue, just the wrong decisions are made. nine0003


The choice is yours!


Let's make it clear right away - there is no absolute truth in the matter of making a decision. What suits one does not suit another. It is important that the decision turns out to be right for you - it leads to the desired goal, helps in development, becomes a step towards the dream.

This does not mean that you cannot ask for advice. The opinion of an expert can be very relevant if you are experiencing a lack of information, and the person has experience in this matter. But do not try to replace your decision with someone else's. nine0003

There is no point in shifting the responsibility for one's destiny onto someone else's shoulders.

By the way, by listening to the advice of others, you can better understand yourself. Our psyche has an interesting property: it divides the advice that others give you into practical and stupid, depending on how close they are to your own decision. You have most likely already accepted it, you just haven't been able to formulate it yet.


What is Descartes' square and how to use it
See also

👑

Fri 12/06 Development

How to Make Choices Without Mistakes: 11 Tips from Algorithms for Life


The method called "Descartes' square" will help you put your thoughts in order and find your answer. It works well if you're choosing between two companies or want to know whether to accept a job offer. The tool is so simple and versatile that it can be used in case of any important choice. But it is especially effective if you have to choose between two options. It will allow you to approach the issue in a more balanced and rational way. nine0003

Step 1: Set aside time

You will need 30-60 minutes, depending on how well you can concentrate and express yourself clearly.

Step 2: Eliminate Doubt

Our brain has many tricks to keep us from change. After all, its task is the survival of the species. And from this point of view, any new experience carries a risk. Therefore, the brain "turns on the skeptic" - convinces us not to even try, because "it still won't help." And you just try. nine0003

Since this tool has been useful to a huge number of people, maybe it will be useful to you too 🙂

During work, you must be alone with a sheet of paper. No one should give you advice in the course of this work. Do not involve either the second half, or the best friend, or colleague ... Then they will not be responsible for the tasks that you set for yourself. The best thing loved ones can do is create space for acceptance and support.

Step 3: Turn the problem into a clear request

First of all, answer the question: “Why am I comparing these options? What other possibilities are there?

Step 4. Draw a coordinate system on A4 sheet

Now you will explore option #1. For example: transition to a leadership position.

You need to answer the following questions:

  • what will happen if “yes” ➕➕
  • what will happen if “no” ➕➖
  • what will not happen if “yes” ➖➖ 9018 what will not happen if “no” ➖➖

Analyzed? Now take the next sheet and go to option number 2. This step is not always needed. It happens that the analysis of the first option resolves all doubts. But sometimes it is useful to work through both choices.

Step 5. Analyze priorities

Ask yourself, based on this analysis, what do you see now, what do you feel, what do you want, where is more energy/prospects/benefit.

Learn more