How is dad


Dad vs Father: What's the difference and why should you care?

by Daniel Ruyter | Parenting

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Updated for Father’s Day, 2021

I’ve been asked more times than I can count why I wrote a post about the true definition of dad and why I feel the meanings of dad and father are distinctly different.

Can we also just talk for a moment about definitions versus meanings, too? Dictionary sites that provide definitions of words like dad and father don’t really do a good job of explaining the true meanings of these words.

I get it – it doesn’t matter to everyone. But it matters to me. And I suspect, because you’re here, it also matters to you as well. I know there are plenty of people out there that may not be a “father” or a “mother”, but they feel like they are in a lot of ways.

The post below about my new definition of a dad was originally written back when I was a single dad struggling with my time away from my son. I spent a lot of time thinking about what it meant to be a co-parent dad and what the difference was between dad and father. I tried to find answers to my questions.

My REAL definition of

dad

/dad/

noun informal

a male parental figure that is present and participating in a child’s life

“the child went to the zoo with her dad”

synonym: daddy

The meaning of dad means a lot to me.

Some of my questions didn’t have easy answers. I suspect you’ve come seeking those same answers.

I took to Google for answers and was told that “Dad” and “Father” were the same thing. I didn’t agree with that definition, so I decided to write my own definition.

What is a dad? What does it mean to be a dad?

What is a father? What does it mean to be a father?

What is the difference between dad and father?

Fast-forward now to 2017 and I’m no longer a single dad, but how we define a dad vs. a father resonates with me even more. Sure, we see some dads stepping up to the parenting plate and being present in their childrens’ lives, but there are still so many others that just disappear.

What do you think when you read my definition of a dad? What do you perceive to be the difference between dad and father? Which are you or which do you have in your life – a dad or a father?

The words ‘dad’ and ‘father’ are very similar on the surface and yet, I think to many people, they hold very different meanings. Father’s Day seems to ignite something in a lot of people, as it did with me as well.

What’s the difference between the words “dad” and “father”? Can they be used interchangeably? Are they basically the same thing?

I say NO, they are not the same thing and I’ll tell you why. Whether you agree or disagree on what I see as the difference between a dad and a father, I’d love it if you would share your thoughts on social media.

My REAL definition of

Father

/’ˈfäT͟Hər/

noun

 a reproductive term referring to the male biological parent of a child

 “after the birth of his child, the boy became a father”

verb

be the father of

 “he fathered three children”

If dad and father are the same, why bother with separate words?

A father is something else; a father is more of a biological term than a role or relationship.  A father is a the birds and bees version of a parent. They are a reproductive assistant, if you will. Fathers need only contribute the biological components necessary to produce the child. After that, their role and obligation to the child is over.

A father doesn’t need to be present to have a have a child. They don’t need to participate to make their biological contribution. A father doesn’t need to be present to be a father.

Therein lies the difference when attempting to define the difference between a dad and a father. Of course, this distinction is my own and you may or may not agree or buy into my differences.

I know there are single moms out there that understand there’s a distinctive difference between the two. They understand the importance of a father being present and being a dad. They see every single day what the differences are between being a dad and being a father mean to their child’s life.

Come on – is there really a difference between dad and father?

Yes, there is a difference.

I attempt to make the distinction between a dad and a father so that I can carry those definitions into a discussion on dad’s (vs. a father’s) rights. The U.S., and to an extent, the world, has seen an epidemic of fathers that abandon their families and children, often before the child is even born.

For whatever reason they don’t want to be parents. They choose not to participate in their child’s life. They choose to be selfish over being selfless.  Many (too many) men have taken this path of fathering a child but leaving the ‘dad’ part up to someone else – sometimes mom or sometimes another man that’s not afraid of stepping in to fill that role. In many cases I get that the mother and child truly would be better off without the father in their lives.  That’s a shame, really and it’s no excuse.

There is no excuse.

There is no excuse for fathers that don’t step up and also play the role of dad.

On one hand, some fathers are setting an unfortunate precedence: absence

I would argue that the trend in fathers abandoning their children and choosing to not participate compelled the courts in this country to pass laws (or at least have some sort of unwritten preference) that attempted to protect the rights of the child, and to some extent, the mothers that were left to raise the child on their own.

Often, the courts would default to siding with the mother and the father (or dad) was left to prove his worth or value in the child’s life to the court. But what about when a father decides to also be a dad?  What about when a father has to be a dad? When it’s so engrained in his soul that he’s nearly incapable of not being a dad?

Many states make this dad’s outlook on spending time with his child, being involved in his child’s life and actively participating in the child’s life very much an up-hill battle.

On the other hand, some “dads” are treated like second-class parents

I am a dad to two boys, but sometimes, I feel like a second-class parent. I think a lot of involved dads share this feeling with me. Many times I feel like a second-class parent, especially in my oldest son’s life.

It hurts. It hurts a lot, actually.

I feel like, in the eyes of the court and in the eyes of my ex, she’s the parent and I get to ‘borrow’ my son now and then. I see no reason why dads shouldn’t be afforded the same rights and access to their children as mothers do. I see no reason why the default sharing shouldn’t be 50/50 unless one parent or the other can prove why it should be something less than equal.

I understand that women carry the child, give birth and, more often than the father, raise the child solo. But how much are the laws (and some individual’s behavior) actually discouraging fathers from participating in their children’s lives? A father should fight to be a dad tooth and nail but a father also shouldn’t be required to fight so hard. The chips shouldn’t be quite so stacked against the dad that genuinely wants (or needs) to participate.

I feel like, in the eyes of the court and in the eyes of my ex, she’s the parent and I get to ‘borrow’ my son now and then.

What do you think?

How do you distinguish between the definition of dad and the definition of father? Do you have a story you’d like to share? Use the hashtag #DefinitionOfDad on social media to share your thoughts and your story.

The Dad Life: Defined and Explained | by Two Guys Who Blog

Dad life is more than just being a father to your children. It’s everything that encompasses your life as a parent, as a man and as a person contributing to your family and society as a whole. The people who typically visit our website are looking for articles that provide tips, tools, and advice to assist in navigating the intricacies of life as a parent or many times just as an individual. You don’t have to be a dad or a parent to benefit from what we write about.

The Two Guys Who Blog team (which consists of myself and my business partner) brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. Personally, I have over 50 years of experience being alive and close to 20 years being a parent. I also have also been married for 25 years as of the date of this article. That in itself is an accomplishment in this day and age of divorce and separations. I’ll talk about our secret to marriage success later.

We don’t claim to be experts and have both made our share of mistakes as parents and individuals but it’s through those mistakes that we have grown to become better people. It’s those mistakes that have helped to guide us on our journey.

The topics we discuss on our site are varying and include personal finance, self-improvement, family and relationships, technology, health and fitness, how-to and humor. All of these areas are ones that we face as dads (and people) on a daily basis.

As parents, (dads and moms) we face a new set of challenges daily. No two days are similar. (They may feel similar but they aren’t). In addition, we have to be well rounded “experts” in school subjects we learned 20 years ago, home improvement contractors, auto mechanics, chefs, fitness gurus, technology wizards, hairdressers, stylists, relationship therapists, etc. You name it — we have to know how to do it.

My “standard” day consists of working from 8–6 then helping with Spanish homework, dropping off my daughter at dance class, fixing a sprinkler head in the yard, spackling a hole in the wall, writing an article and working another side hustle job. Every day is similar in the level of chaos but no two are alike. Kind of like fingerprints or snowflakes.

A father is someone who donated his “DNA” to a willing recipient and the two people had a child. Often times people have never met their “father” but you will know if they have a dad. A dad will be present. He will do everything he has to in order to provide for his family and keep them safe. Dad’s will play dress up with their girls and develop stories around their girls’ dolls to entertain them. They read the same book at bedtime 3 weeks in a row…and don’t skip any of the pages because your kid will know if you did and call you out in it!!

They go to back to school nights and help with homework. Dads listen to endless tales of joy or comfort tears. They make lunches and give baths and show up — literally and figuratively — to everything. They support their kids along every step of their journey to adulthood and beyond. Soccer coach, athletic trainer, chauffeur, therapist, we do it all. We bring a different style to parenting than Mom. Depending on the person (and family) the dad may be the one who is blunter and to the point or he could be the prankster or he could be the steady silent type.

I believe there is a difference between moms and dads when it comes to parenting. In some families that dynamic can vary from person to person. For years Dad’s have had the role of providing discipline. Even more so in my generation. I was scared out of my mind growing up if mom said, “wait until your father gets home!” Above all, I knew I was in huge trouble.

I only remember my dad yelling at me once in my life and that was enough to put the fear of God in me. He wasn’t a tall man or menacing physically and he did a very good job of controlling his temper. He had what people would call “a long fuse”. Once lit it took a while to explode and in that period of time he — many times — snuffed it out as he was always more affable than angry. But when he did explode it was problematic. He was fiercely protective of his family and worked like a dog commuting two hours to his office each way every day for 40 years.

Moms, on the other hand, tend to be more sympathetic in the parenting role. An injury caused two different reactions from my parents. If I fell off my bike as a child and skinned a knee I would always seek out mom. I knew she would take care of me and provide comfort. Dad would tell me to wash it off, put a Band-Aid on and get back outside.

It’s the difference in parenting styles between men and women that help balance things out, the Ying and the Yang if you will.

I’m not saying that single moms out there aren’t doing a great job because you are. And let’s be honest, there are some less than stellar fathers and dads in the world who do more harm than good. It’s not always about the amount of time you spend at home with your children, it’s the quality of time you spend and how accessible you are.

Just because you’re in the house doesn’t make it quality time. Are you engaging your children, are you asking how the day was, striking up a conversation, going to their events, helping with homework and learning more about them? Sitting on the couch and watching sports together is OK, but have a conversation about the game, discuss the players, and teach your children how to interact with other human beings.

As someone who has two daughters, I want them to know their value and how a man should treat a woman. Above all, they should expect to be treated properly and if they aren’t, move on. Girls who have disengaged fathers learn that this type of behavior is normal and will expect the same out of men in their lives.

READ: RULES ON DATING MY DAUGHTERS

Dads, I’m talking to you now. Remember, your kids are always watching what happens in the home. Your actions have consequences on them. How good of a parent you are can affect your child’s social, psychologic and physical development. These are developmental areas they bring with them well in being adults. We’re not perfect but sometimes being there, making an effort, and showing interest goes a long way!

Do your part and be the best dad you can be!

How important was your dad to you and what have you experienced as a dad so far in life.

Best

SD

Originally published at twoguyswhoblog. com on April 2, 2019.

How dad was little | listen online (audiobook)

Short stories in audio format from the childhood of the author Alexander Raskin. He told all these stories to his daughter Sasha. It is so interesting and important for children to know that their parents were also small, sometimes they were naughty or afraid of something, sometimes they were even capricious. The stories in this audiobook are very, very vital, in them, unfortunately, dad sometimes gets spanked and adults do not keep their promises, and much more ... The stories of Alexander Raskin should be treated with humor, they are not about values, but rather about what happens and such childhood ... 9Ol000 3

How dad tamed the dog

05:11

  • 4

    How dad composed poems

    04:29

  • 5

    as a pope bit professor

    As a dad left Uncle Vitya

    03:04

  • 12

    How dad was friends with a girl

    02:51

  • 13,0003

    As a dad went to school

    9000 2:26 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000 9000 9000:26 9000 9000:26 9000 9000 9000:26 02:26 PM
  • 14

    As a pope painted

    03:52

  • 15

    As a dad avenged the German language

    04:46

  • 9000

    as a pope wrote two works

  • 22

    as a dad girl offended

    03:44

  • 23

    How dad was deceived by a teacher

    04:12

  • 24 9000

    as a dad went to the movie

    9000 04: 41

  • 25

    As a dad was late

    05:16

  • 26

    Like a dad, the tram

    05:05

  • 9000 27 9,000 9,000 27 9,000 9,000 9,000 9,000 9,000 27

    How dad made a stool

    05:42

  • 2 28

    Like a dad played in Ping Pong

    08:11

  • 9000
  • Stares 9000

    Stories Tires Buildings

  • Author

    Alexander Raskin

  • Thematic collections and collections

    Audio fairy tales for children 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 years old

  • Other stories in the collection

    Housing, Kitten named Woof

  • Read "Like dad!" - Minchkovsky Arkady Mironovich - Page 1

    Ark. Minczkowski

    Like a dad!

    Egor loves his father very much. It happens when dad says:

    - Well, Yegor, put on your coat. Went!

    Yegorka doesn't care where, as long as she's with her dad. He is also not averse to taking a walk with his mother, but with his mother it’s different. Mom worries all the way: so that the motorcycle does not run over them.

    - Look how it rushes!

    So that Yegorka doesn't talk on the road:

    - You'll swallow the cold, you'll get sick. To not ride on the ice:

    - If you fall, you will break your nose.

    It's a completely different matter with dad. With dad, they are both big. Frost, not frost, you can talk about everything with dad.

    A newspaper has just been pasted on a billboard in the street. Papa will stop and read what news is there, and Yegorka, behind him, claps her boots through the puddles. Sprays fly in all directions. Very well! nine0003

    And on the ice, he and dad, along with a run on the soles, roll out. Great!

    Dad is not afraid of any cars. They don't run across the street like Yegorka and his grandmother. Dad will look and say:

    - Here is the crossing, let's go!

    Only you can't be capricious with dad. With grandmother as much as you want, with a smaller mother, but not at all with him.

    On Sunday Egorka gets up with her father. Like dad, he does gymnastics. Like dad, he washes for a long time and rubs his chest with a towel. Like dad, he polishes his shoes. Father asks:

    - Did you clean them yesterday, Egor? The son answers:

    - No, yesterday, while I was sleeping, my mother cleaned me.

    - Why is that?

    - She herself. She loves to clean them.

    Father puts on a fresh shirt on his day off, and Yegorka:

    - Give me a new one. I want it like my dad.

    Father sits down to have breakfast - son demands:

    - Pour tea into a glass for me too, like for dad.

    In the afternoon, after dinner, dad will lie down on the sofa with "Ogonyok", and Yegorka will sit next to him. Dad is reading a magazine. And Egorka flips through his "Murzilka". nine0003

    In the summer when Yegorka lived with his grandmother in the village, his father came there on vacation. He brought in all sorts of different things and handed Yegorka something wrapped in shop paper.

    - Get it, Egor. You...

    Yegorka, let's rip off the paper as soon as possible. He can't wait to find out what it is. He unfolded and sees - a submachine gun with a twist. You twist the handle, and the gun:

    - T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t...

    Egorka really liked the machine gun. He ran into the yard and let's run around, shoot in all directions. nine0003

    - T-t-t... T-t-t-t-r-r-r...

    He drove the ginger cat Masha under the house. He scared the old goat tied to the fence. He alarmed all the chickens. They are terrified in every direction. One even flew onto the roof of the barn. Shouts:

    - Where-where-where?! Where are you shooting? .. Grandma ran out.

    - Ay, look, the warrior, he dispersed the chickens.

    Papa went out into the yard to fetch grandma. Yegorka boasts:

    - I defeated everyone. Everyone is afraid of me.

    - Great, that's the hero, - says dad. - Well, soldier, what else are you going to do? nine0003

    Yegorka thought.

    - And what do the soldiers do?

    - Soldiers must be able to do everything. Not only shoot. Take a weapon! We went on a military campaign.

    And they went to the forest.

    Dad is holding a stick. Yegorka has a machine gun around his neck.

    They are walking through the forest. They went far down the lane. The father walks wide, and the son with a machine gun in the same way. On the way, a fallen spruce barred their way. Egor's dad stepped over her, but his son can't. Legs are short.

    - How am I? nine0003

    - Crawl. You are a soldier.

    Yegor wanted to crawl. The machine interferes.

    - Hold on, dad.

    - And you have a weapon behind your back, like a fighter. Yegorka threw the machine gun behind his back. He puffed and climbed over the tree.

    - Well done, - praised his dad. - Overcame an obstacle.

    Let's move on. All of a sudden, something like booming all over the forest:

    - A-a-a-a-ah!

    - What is it?

    - Nothing, the tree is dry. It stood, stood and fell. Did you hear the shot?

    - A tree won't hit us?

    - He who carefully walks through the forest will never fall into him. What are you, soldier, afraid of?

    - I won't be afraid anymore, - Yegorka said. And why should he be afraid. He is with dad. His dad is a real soldier. He served in the army.

    Yegorka became so bold that he ran ahead of his father. He went on the attack.

    - T-t-t-t...

    Yes, only his foot caught on the root and flew. He hit, tore the skin to the blood on the knee. I wanted to roar, and Egorkin's dad says:

    - Well, the soldier was about to cry. You better find a plantain, attach its leaf to the wound. All will pass. Soldiers do it too.

    Yegor found a plantain leaf and put it on his leg. The leaf stuck like a green bandage. There is no more blood.

    Papa and I went far. Yegorka does not know in which direction the grandmother's house was left. He asks:

    - Dad, can't we get lost?

    - No, - Egorkin's father answers. Let's not get lost, son. I served in the border guards. Border guards are nowhere to be found. nine0003

    "It's good," Egor thinks, "that dad was a border guard. It's not scary even in the forest with him."

    More time has passed. Yegorka whimpers:

    - I'm hungry.

    And the father says:

    - Let's go home and eat. Be patient, soldier. - And then I remembered: - Oh, I have a chocolate bar in store for the campaign! Come on, eat.

    Yegorka was delighted and took a chocolate bar. He tore off the wrapper and rather into his mouth, but he caught himself right there and almost choked. I barely managed to grab a piece with my hand and handed it to my dad. nine0003

    - You too.

    - That's like fighting, - said Yegorkin's father. - Fighters in a campaign always share everything. Only I don't want to. Eat yourself. Yegor is tired. Legs are hard to go.

    - How long before our grandmother?

    - We'll be back soon.

    - Take my gun.

    - Here you go! What kind of soldier gives away weapons? And suddenly the enemy attacks. How will you protect your homeland? Egor sighed and asked:

    - When you were a border guard, you defended it, didn't you?

    - I served in the mountains. There are border guards on horseback. Day and night they guard the border so that the enemies do not cross it, and if something happens ...

    Egorka grabs the machine gun - and the guns burst.

    - T-t-t-t-t...

    - Like that, huh?!

    - It happens, - dad said. - All right, soldier, get on your horse.

    He picked up his son and put him on his shoulders along with the machine gun.

    So Yegorka rode his father and came to his grandmother.


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