How to make masterbation better
15 Better Ways to Get Off
A good jack-off falls somewhere between agony and prayer. Read more below.
A good jack-off falls somewhere between agony and prayer. In the shower, I make the same face Mary makes in Bernini sculptures. Panting, my face against the door, I nearly whisper, “Thank you, lord.”
Some people consider masturbation a second-tier sexual experience. We’ve all heard the “sad jack-off story.” After a night of fruitless cruising, your buddy settled for his hand.
There is a problem in the way we talk about self-pleasure. Self-care is often seen as shameful, embarrassing, or unimportant in our social-obsessed culture. But self-pleasure is something nearly everyone does, something everyone should do, and something we could all do better. Masturbation matters because your body matters. Because pleasure is healthy.
Let me lend a hand. Browse these 15 ways to get the most out of your solo time.
A Word of Warning From Alexander Cheves
My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. The views in this slideshow do not reflect those of The Advocate and are based solely off of my own experiences. Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.
Those who are sensitive to frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that address sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.
For all others, enjoy the slideshow. And feel free to leave your own suggestions of sex and dating topics in the comments.
Hungry for more? Follow me on Twitter @BadAlexCheves and visit my blog, The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend.
1. Make time for yourself.
Do not let masturbation be a tired, last-minute ritual in the shower or before you fall asleep. Plan time for yourself in advance.
If you think jacking off is something lonely folks do on a Saturday night, reconsider. People set aside time for the gym, meal prep, video games, yoga, and other wellness rituals. Enjoying your body should be one of them.
2. Dress for the occasion.
Ever wonder why some people get into leather and rubber? Because it makes them feel sexy. There are a million different fetishized clothing items, from jockstraps to hosiery to full-body Lycra suits. Wear something that makes you feel aroused.
3. Pay for porn.
Don’t spend an hour searching tube sites. If you want to watch quality porn, pay for it. There are a lot of performers, directors, and behind-the-scenes folks working hard to help you get off. They don’t work for free.
4. Meditate.
Meditation (for me) means taking a few minutes out of my day to be quiet, breathe, listen to my thoughts, and disconnect. No one says you can’t do these things while getting off.
Some guys take masturbation-as-meditation to admirable lengths.
They lay down blankets, oil up, use poppers, and spend a few hours exploring their bodies.
5. Visit a group masturbation night at your local sex club.
Most gay sex clubs have a scheduled night where you can only jack off — no sex allowed.
I dismissed “jacking nights” until I tried them — first in Los Angeles and again in Atlanta. The experience brought new appreciation of masturbation.
I have always considered masturabtion something private. The faces we make when we come are funny and intense and vulnerable. Sharing this with others is intense.
6. Get to the edge.
The ever-reliable Urban Dictionary defines edging as “coming nearly close to climax or ejaculation, then purposefully stopping sexual stimulation in order to delay the same, so that the ultimate climax will be more intense.”
In kink, edging is a scene that typically involves some form of restraint: tying up a willing submissive to where he can’t touch himself, then edging him close to orgasm before intentionally and abruptly halting to keep him from coming.
It gets so intense that the withheld orgasm becomes a form of erotic torture, particularly if the submissive is willing to be edged for many hours (usually with other forms of play like cock and ball torture, nipple play, and other delights).
7. Experiment with different lubes.
When I was writing this slideshow, I dropped questions into my Facebook newsfeed. How do you like to masturbate? How often? What lube do you like?
It seems most uncut guys do not use lube, since being uncircumcised eliminates the need for lube. According to my Facebook friends, most circumcised guys use spit or silicone lube, and one adorable cub from Chicago uses Albolene, a moisturizer that has been a jacking favorite for generations.
Browse my extensive list of different lubes here.
8. Rub your p-spot.
Straight and queer men everywhere are discovering the wonders of prostate stimulation. In fact, Lelo luxury adult toymaker has made male prostate massagers a prominent part of its global market.
Prostate massagers are short anal toys shaped in such a way that they rub or press on your prostate (typically a small bulbed head). The prostate is that come-inducing walnut located two or three inches inside your ass. The p spot is the most intense “g spot” for men. Stimulating this spot produces the hardest, most intense orgasms imaginable.
There may be some health benefits to using these toys, since many sources, including Livestrong and Natural News, report that p spot stimulation helps lower your risk of prostate cancer.
Go the extra mile and get one that vibrates — you’ll thank me.
9. Stretch.
Most guys like playing with their balls when they masturbate, but have you tried ball stretching?
Ball stretching is a fetish practice of gradually stretching your testicles to make them hang lower from your body. Most guys start ball stretching with stretchy, jelly ball stretchers. These are essentially smaller versions of stretchy, jelly cock rings.
From there, they work up to soft silicone ball stretchers, which are typically a bit more rigid. Other common materials for ballstretchers include TPR, PVC, and body-safe rubber. After ample practice, many guys work up to metal ones. Keep in mind that these are rings you wear around your scrotal sac to make your testicles hang lower.
Pro ball stretchers can wear stretchers that weigh over 1.5 pounds! This takes practice.
Legions of ball stretchers swear that the practice makes your orgasms signficantly harder and more intense. Guys who play with their balls (grab them, squeeze them) when they jack off will probably concur. While I’m not a pro, I’ve masturbated many times wearing soft silicone ball stretchers, and they’ve been among my most intense solo jack-off sessions.
If your interest is piqued, visit The Art of Ball Stretching by ball stretching aficionado Jarod Johansen.
Pictured: Fort Troff Magno Ballstretcher. (Adult content)
10.
Feel the sound. Sounding is the act of inserting a smooth, slightly curved soft or rigid rod into your urethra. These are called “sounding rods.” Only use a sounding rod designed explicitly for this.
Sounding must be done slowly, carefully, and preferably with the guidance of someone who has done it before. So find a local S&M bud and ask him to train your piss hole.
Sounding is essentially the act of plugging and stretching your urethra, particularly near the head of your dick. While it may sound cringeworthy and painful, many kinky men the world over love sounding and swear it delivers extremely hot solo sessions. Check out Mr. Racy’s guide to sounding.
11. Explore toyland.
I’m a toy guy. I love pushing ass limits and playing with toys. Once you can relax and train your hole with practice, you may discover that stretching the anal sphincter (your hole) feels really, really good. The only way to practice this is with toys (butt plugs in particular).
To go through all the wonderful sex toys out there would take another slideshow. Check out my top picks of sex toys every gay man should try.
12. Try new locations.
I love jerking off on airplanes, outdoors, and in the showers at the gym. Nontraditional masturbation locations amp up the intensity.
Respect others and be discreet (unless you’re at a cruisy gym and someone wants to watch you wank). Do not intentionally try to make someone see what you’re doing who doesn’t want to or doesn’t consent. This is molestation and can land you in jail.
13. In hooking up, change the way you view masturbation.
Don’t view masturbation as a way to salvage a failed hookup.
Your ass may not be adequately prepped. He may be having some emotional holdovers from his last relationship. Sometimes sex just doesn’t work. When this happens, we usually say, “Well, we can just jack off.”
Don’t ignore all the guys out there who are looking for playmates (on Scruff and Grindr) specifically and solely to beat off together.
14. Do something different every time you masturbate.
Make it a goal for the next month to do something different every time. Try a new lube or a new location or a new porn. This is how you will discover things you never knew you liked.
15. Create your greatest fantasy.
Masturbation is an exercise in imagination. Start with a scenario and focus on it intensely. If you lose focus, steer your mind back.
I don’t watch much porn. The last time I watched porn, I was directing it. Porn doesn’t do much for me.
In my head, I’m walking down a dark flight of stairs into the darkest underground sex club in Berlin. The stone walls and dark shadows are broken up with spare red lights hanging from the ceiling.
I’m climbing into a sling, getting hooded, and being group fucked and fisted by strangers. I guide myself to this place. I think of the texture of the cold stone and the grease and oil on it. I picture the grime on the rubber treads on the steps, the layer of dust coating the light bulbs, the wet and throaty sounds of bodies slapping against each other in the little rooms on both sides of the dark hallway.
The air is hot and smells of poppers and sweat.
Desire and imagination are the tools of pleasure. Use them.
Tips for Technique, Toys, and More
Masturbation is a healthy, natural way to explore your fantasies and discover what makes you feel good. Plus, aside from getting a sexual release, there are so many health benefits to solo play, including:
- stress relief
- mood boost
- improved sleep
There’s no “normal” amount when it comes to masturbation. You should enjoy a little one-on-one time with your body as often as you’d like.
Don’t get hung up on how often you engage in solo play, as long as it’s not getting in the way of other areas in your life. But if masturbation starts interfering with work or affecting your sex life with your partner, you may want to seek out a sex therapist.
Experiment with these strategies to help make your next solo session a steamy one.
1. Set the mood
Masturbation doesn’t have to be a quickie in the bathroom! You can plan your alone time just like you would anything else and set yourself up for some quality “me time.
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You can make masturbation more pleasurable by:
- turning down the lights
- playing your favorite erotic video
- slowly teasing yourself
- staying relaxed and present
2. Change positions
There’s no reason to stick to the same routine while masturbating. Instead, add some excitement by switching up positions.
If you’re always standing, try leaning against a counter or the wall, with your hips pushed forward. If you’re always lying down, try sitting up, either on your bed or in a chair. You can even enjoy a solo session while on all fours.
Different positions mean different sensations — and that may mean more satisfaction.
3. Switch hands
Changing hands, just like switching positions, can cause different sensations that could lead to intense ejaculation. You may be able to widen your pleasure zone by using your nondominant hand to masturbate.
Or, if you’re feeling frisky, you could attempt “The Stranger” — you know, that technique where you sit on your hand until it falls asleep and then use it to simulate the feeling of another person giving you a hand job? Everyone’s tried it at least once.
Looking for something more adventurous? Try holding your penis against your stomach and stroking the underside of your shaft quickly with your nondominant hand.
4. Try different strokes
Moving your hand in an up-and-down motion is a tried-and-true masturbation technique — and for many people with a penis, it almost always leads to an orgasm. But why keep solo play boring? Experiment with different movements for a more profound and powerful experience.
You can use long, twisting strokes from base to tip. You can palm and pull your penis head while masturbating with a full-hand grip. You could also add a little bit of rubbing to the classic three-finger grip.
Just play around with different stroking styles to find the one that feels more pleasurable for you.
5. Move your hips
Sure, it’s easy to forget to move your hips while masturbating. After all, it’s not like you’re playing with a partner. But did you know that gyrating and thrusting can help increase the intensity and lead to more pleasure? Yup!
Next time you’re engaging in solo play, move your hips in a circular or back-and-forth motion — or in whatever way feels best to you.
Increase the speed as you get closer to climaxing.
6. Go beyond the penis
There’s more to your genitals than just your penis, so show the rest some love! If you like it when your partner plays with your testicles, shaft, and perineum — aka your taint — then why deprive yourself during a solo session?
Your testicles, for example, have almost as many nerve endings as your penis. If you want to intensify your pleasure, consider pulling down on your balls right before you climax.
You can also massage or play with your taint to create some intense sensations. And through it all, don’t forget to stroke your whole shaft to really build up to that “Big O.”
7. Explore other erogenous zones
Want to have a sensational full-body climax? Then explore your erogenous zones! Playing with your erogenous zones — that is, your ears, nipples, neck, mouth, and lips — can shoot sparks of pleasure throughout your body.
You can rub, pinch, pull, squeeze, or tug at these parts of your body to intensify your orgasm during a particularly randy solo session! Don’t forget to play around with different touches to discover what makes you feel good.
8. Don’t forget the prostate!
Your prostate — otherwise known as the “male G-spot” — is your golden ticket to an intense, full-body experience. So, if you haven’t cashed it in, now is the time.
You can start off slow by using one finger to gently rub the outside and inside of your anal opening, then insert your finger gradually to massage your prostate. Increase the speed and motion as the pleasure begins to build until you’re ready to finish.
If using your finger isn’t your cup of tea, there are toys you can play around with. Don’t be afraid to experiment.
9. Add in a toy or two
There are a number of toys available for people with penises that can add loads of fun to a solo session.
The most common options include:
- the automatic stroker
- Fleshlights
- pocket strokers
- prostate stimulators
- anal beads
Consider adding a toy — or two! — during solo play if you want to ramp up your orgasm.
10.
Try edgingWant to prolong your play date? Incorporate the start-and-stop method into your next solo session. Orgasm control, also known as “edging,” draws out the pleasure so that you can have a longer, more explosive experience.
Try it out by stroking your penis right up until the edge of ejaculation, then stop completely. Slowly begin to masturbate again, increasing speed until you’re ready to finish, then pull back again. Repeat this process as much as you’d like.
11. Go beyond video porn
Sure, everyone loves a sexy video, but that’s not the only type of erotica out there. If you usually watch videos, think about switching it up! Reading or listening to erotica is fun, entertaining, and allows you to explore your fantasies in a safe, sexy way.
For some arousing erotic literature, check out kennywriter.com. Want some audio erotica? Then head over to audiobooks.com. But if you want to stick to videos, skip the tube sites and pay for your porn. You’ll be surprised by what kind of fantasies lie behind the paywall.
12. Take your time
Masturbation doesn’t have to be “go, go, go” — unless, of course, that’s what you’re into. Feel free to slow down and explore what makes you feel good. You can experiment with speed, strokes, positions, hands, toys, and more during a solo session.
Taking your time to discover what turns you on could lead to a better orgasm.
While this is more widely-known amongst women, some men can also experience multiple orgasms. There may be a brief period in between each orgasm, but it is possible to have them back-to-back.
Ejaculation may inhibit the ability to have back-to-back orgasms. In this case, try experimenting with other types of male orgasms, such as non-ejaculatory orgasms or prostate orgasms.
Masturbation can help you discover how to have multiple orgasms.
In short: Practice. Masturbation in itself is a way to experiment and discover what makes you feel good. Some people find that edging, using toys, or stimulating the prostate are ways to increase the intensity of an orgasm.
The orgasms you achieve from solo play can also be more intense, being that you’re only focused on yourself and your own pleasure.
There’s no right or wrong way to masturbate. Take your time exploring your body and all those things that turn you on.
Experiment with styles, toys, and techniques. Do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, and enjoy every second of it!
10 ways to make masturbation more enjoyable - Psychology of good relationships
Masturbation is the best way to get to know your body and determine which erogenous zones are most sensitive to caresses! 10 ways to make masturbation more enjoyable and vibrant.
Masturbation is sex with yourself! Therefore, it should be the most diverse, of high quality in execution, sexually interesting, and bring to a strong orgasm. Try to use at least one of these methods in masturbation, and it will become really more pleasant for you than it was before.
1. Be sure to use moisturizers when masturbating .
Dry masturbation is a very bad idea, it threatens with scuffs, irritation, and even micro cracks, which then bake, itch and itch, and you can bring an infection like that!
So use a variety of moisturizers, lubricants, massage oils, or just your saliva when masturbating.
2. Use different positions for masturbation . Masturbation, like sex with a partner, should be as diverse as possible, so use different positions when masturbating, lying, sitting, standing, kneeling, this will allow you to find out how the body reacts to caresses in different positions.
3. Use sex accessories in masturbation . Masturbation with the use of sex toys generally takes on a completely different look and range of pleasure, with them you can arrange such jerking sessions that the orgasm is not of earthly strength, but you don’t need to abuse accessories for sex, addiction occurs, and ordinary sex loses its brightness, until at least a month you will not refrain from sex toys.
4. The shower makes masturbation amazing . Well, who among us did not masturbate in the shower, all healthy and adequate people probably did it, if you have not done this yet, be sure to try it! A jet of warm water directed at the clitoris, or at the bridle of the penis, + to this, caress yourself with your free hand, a bright and insanely pleasant orgasm is guaranteed.
5. Masturbation is more enjoyable by watching erotic movie . In my opinion, all the same, masturbation with watching a sex video is much more pleasant than without it! This is of course a personal opinion, each person has his own preferences in masturbation, just when you study your body, it is better to masturbate in silence, and when you just have fun, it is better with a video.
6. Music and light will help make masturbation more enjoyable . Indeed, during masturbation, if you dim the lights and turn on not loud, muffled erotic music, the masturbation session becomes more magical, unnecessary thoughts dissolve, sensations become more pleasant and sensual.
7. Another way to make masturbation unusual and very sexy . Have you ever tried to film yourself masturbating? Oh, it's very sexy fun to see yourself from the side, how you masturbate, caress yourself, and then experience an orgasm! Try it, it's very instructive...
8. Masturbation while reading an erotic story . Do you want to feel like the hero of some fascinating sexual story, and experience a fantastic orgasm as a fictional character, erotic fiction is just right for this as well as possible! Erotic stories are wonderful for developing libido, revealing your sexuality, and stimulating erotic fantasies that help you get aroused and desire the opposite sex every time.
9. When masturbating, use additional erogenous zones . Undoubtedly, masturbation will be more enjoyable if you caress several erogenous zones at the same time. In addition to direct stimulation of the genitals, try to caress other parts of the body at the same time, nipples, inner thighs, anus and buttocks, for men, in addition to the above, also the scrotum, stroke your body in the most pleasant places, and so on.
10. The highest level of masturbation . Joint masturbation with a sexual partner is the highest level of pleasure in masturbation! Joint self-satisfaction is generally something not real, mystical and insanely intimate, there are so many feelings and emotions hidden here that it is difficult to describe in words, you need to experience it, and only with your beloved half ...
Joint masturbation can be individual, that is, you are located opposite each other and masturbate to orgasm, or you can masturbate to each other and bring your partner to orgasm in this way, there are many options for joint masturbation.
* As you can see, masturbation can be very varied and very enjoyable! And how do you like to masturbate most of all, share your intimate secrets?
18 masturbation techniques for women and men
September 2, 2021LikbezSex
If solo sex has lost its brilliance, here are ways to spice it up.
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0 First, let's remind you of a simple rule: if you think it would be nice to add lubricant, you don't think so.
Dry masturbation can lead to irritation due to friction. So be sure to use a lubricant in all the techniques below. Better water-based: such products are universal.
If you are already using lubricant, try increasing the quantity. A light wet slip can take your fingers further than usual, and make your movements more confident and bold. And perhaps this will be the key to orgasm.
Masturbation techniques for women
1. With a shower head
Try to massage the perineum not with your fingers, but with streams of water, let them penetrate into the most secluded places of your body. If such a “tickle” seems not enough, the nozzle can be removed - then the effect of a jet of water under pressure will become even more noticeable.
Option: buy a special shower head from a sex shop. It helps to regulate the diameter and pressure of the water jet, as well as accurately set the direction of its movement. Such props can also be used to stimulate an extremely sensitive clitoris.
2. With a towel
This technique can be called a simulation of the famous horsewoman pose. Take a chair, put a thick rolled towel on it, sit on top of the structure and start the classic “woman on top” movements. By the way, you can masturbate in this way without taking off your panties.
3. With towel and vibrator
The scheme is the same as in the previous paragraph, only wrap the sex toy in the towel. Naturally, having previously turned it on.
4. In front of a mirror
Watching porn videos is exciting. But watching yourself in intimate moments excites no less. Try masturbating in front of a mirror. You can even set it up close so you can see everything your fingers are doing in detail.
5. With video accompaniment
Just turn on the video in which the main character successfully and incendiary satisfies herself, and copy her, repeat the movements. People tend to empathize with what they see on the screen, to identify with the characters, so when the girl in the story has an orgasm, it is likely that you will be covered with sensations too.
6. To the music
A well-chosen playlist can improve your training results. Similarly, music can set you up for orgasm. Pick up rhythmic songs that seem especially exciting to you, and move your fingers or vibrator to the beat.
7. Scissor hand
Make a V with the index and middle fingers of either hand and place the pads of the fingers on either side of the external labia. Then, working with your fingers like scissors, begin to move the labia towards each other, squeeze them. Increase or decrease the pressure and pace depending on how you feel.
8. With your whole hand
Grasp the outer labia with your index finger and little finger. And gently insert the middle and ring fingers into the vagina - so that their inner side touches the clitoris at the same time. Make middle and nameless translational movements back and forth. And at the same time, with the palm of your hand and your free thumb, grab and squeeze the pubic area to enhance the sensations.
9. Without hands
In principle, they are optional in masturbation. Here are a couple of easy positions in which you can achieve orgasm without hands. Sit on a chair, cross your legs and bring your hips together as much as possible. Squeeze and relax your buttocks, gradually increasing the pace.
Second option: lie on your stomach, spread your legs and, moving your buttocks, start rubbing your clitoris against the bed (you can put a pillow under your hips). At first, do it at the slowest, most relaxed pace, listening to the sensations. As pleasant warmth spreads in the groin, accelerate.
Masturbation techniques for men
1. Rubbing against the palm
Grasp the erect penis at the base with one hand and rub its shaft and head against the open palm of the other. Due to the fact that the point of contact is constantly changing, stimulation will seem unexpected, varied and quickly lead to orgasm.
2. Get up and down
Another way to diversify stimulation.
Grasp the penis at the base in a fist, squeeze and slide upwards to the head. When you reach the end, turn your fist so that your thumb is down, and go down to the base of the penis. Repeat the movements, turning your fist up and down.
3. "Milking"
Grasp the penis at the base in any convenient way - for example, in a fist or in a ring of forefinger and thumb. Slide your hand to the head of the penis as if you are trying to “milk” something out of it. When you reach the head, open your fingers and at the same time grab the base of the organ with your other hand. Repeat. Alternate hands, gradually accelerating the pace.
By the way, the “milking” technique is the key to jelqing. This is the name of the method of physical stimulation, which some optimists use to increase the penis.
4. On your side
Lie on your side with your knees drawn up to your stomach. By moving your upper leg towards and away from you, you will be able to stimulate the shaft and head of the penis.
When the excitement becomes palpable, straighten and stretch your legs, clasp your penis with your hand and, moving your hips, complete the process.
5. Lying on your stomach
Lie on your side, grab your penis closer to the head with your hand. Then roll over onto your stomach so that your fist rests on the mattress. Begin to enter the hand, as you do with normal sex - moving your hips.
6. In the shower
Shower games are not just for women. Take a shower sprayer, direct jets of warm water to the perineum, pubis, base and shaft of the penis, testicles. Make circular movements to catch the most pleasant pace and find the most sensitive points.
When the excitement becomes unbearable, without postponing the shower, help yourself with your free hand.
7. With toys
The simplest and most affordable option is a male masturbator. There are dozens of types of them: gadgets for simulating vaginal and oral sex, manual and automatic, with heating and realistic sound.
Just walk into a sex shop, ask to see the assortment, and your masturbation will never be the same.
8. With pillows
Place two pillows side by side, pressing tightly against each other, and place the member in the gap between them. Start moving your hips as you would during normal intercourse and at the same time squeeze the pillows with your hands, shifting them at different angles and adjusting the depth of the hollow.
Please note: after such masturbation, the pillowcases will have to be changed.
9. With elements of anal sex
The prostate is called the male G-spot, and it may be your way to achieve an amazing solo orgasm. Try to find her.
To do this, gently explore the area near the anus with your fingers (lubrication is required!) Gradually penetrating into the anus. The prostate is located at a depth of about 5 centimeters, from the side of the pubis. It is easy to identify by touch - it is a small rounded bulge.
Gently and gently massage the prostate with up and down strokes.
