Sociopath abandonment phase

Characteristics of the perverse, which he carefully hides from others

Megalomania. The Perverse present themselves as the referent of what is good, bad, right, worthy, beautiful, etc. They judge. Moralize. They take postures of a higher being remote from the vain fuss. They are silent in such a way that others feel a silent reproach to their imperfection. They denounce (especially their victims). They have a complete lack of interest in others. Demanding that others be interested in them. The demand that others recognize themselves as debtors only for being allowed to contemplate the grandiosity of the perverse. They criticize everything. Do not allow criticism or condemnation in their address. Consumed by fantasies of unlimited possibilities (power) and unlimited success.

Vampiric envy. The envy of the perverse is clearly pathological. They are jealous of anything that can "belong" to another, regardless of the fact that they themselves have . Attractive appearance, talent, professional success of another, his laugh or the shape of his nose, his children, car, dog - absolutely everything can become the object of envy of the perverse, which automatically causes an aggressive reaction. At the heart of the situation is envy of the other as a bearer of life. Perverse Mantra: "I hate you because I can't be you." The only passion that the perverse do not control or feign is the desire for appropriation and the achievement of power through appropriation. In order to establish themselves, they need to destroy, the suffering of others really gives them pleasure and "moral satisfaction": now these upstarts got what they deserved! who's on top now, huh? now you know where you belong, whore!... The desire to appropriate, therefore, is in fact the desire to destroy (if he really appropriated everything that he envies, he simply would not know what to do with it all ), is the motor of the perverse, making it indefatigable.

Negativism. Perverse is regenerated by absorbing the positive energy of others. Instead, he pours out his own negativity on them. Surroundings supply the perverse with energy, but its always is not enough. Perpetually dissatisfied ("do not stop there"), the perverse take the position of the victim, laying on others (usually this is the "mother" figure, which is quickly replaced and extended to female figures and representations in general) responsibility for your own dissatisfaction. In relationships with others, it is precisely the simulation of the victim and childhood emotional trauma that is used by the perverse in order to instill a sense of guilt in the other and then exploit him "to infinity."

Absence and disclaimer. Perverse perceive the world (and impose this perception on their victims) through the prism of their own projections: they attribute their own difficulties and failures to others and do not feel any guilt. Since they assign themselves the role of the only subject in the world , then by this they deny reality itself. Negativism gives them the opportunity to get away from any unpleasant feeling. The denial of reality is systemic in nature and manifests itself in everything, down to everyday trivial details. That is why it is impossible for the perverted to make decisions (that would mean responsibility), their categorical imperative is that others should take decisions and bear responsibility. The behavior of the perverse is actually the behavior of a leech that sticks to the psyche of another person, through psychological manipulations, forcing him to believe that it is he himself feels the need to "love and cherish" the perverse more than his own life.

2. Victim. A person becomes a victim of a perverse narcissist simply because he decides that this person will be his victim. The perverse narcissist needs a scapegoat, someone who will pay his bills . The victim, as a victim, IS NOT RESPONSIBLE for the situation he/she is in (4). Why does the aggressor choose it? - SIMPLY BECAUSE IT WAS AT HAND. And because she interfered ("what did this freak imagine about herself?") by the fact of her existence as an independent person from the perverted. For the aggressor, the victim is nothing special, it is just an object, a "good" that can be exchanged for other "goods". It interests the aggressor only as long as he can use it. If the possibility of use disappears, a person turns from a victim ("scrap") into an object of hatred ("enemy").
Anyone can be "at hand" for a perverted narcissist. However, it is safe to say who the perverted narcissist will NEVER choose as a victim: these are people who are not only able to expose his feigned maneuvers "with a half kick", but also will not hesitate for a minute to inform "everyone" about the true intentions of the perverted. Such people are either exactly the same perverse narcissists, or "true" tyrants. In relation to these two, the character of the perverse as the character of a predator is especially clearly manifested (psychiatric professionals use the word predator in relation to the perverse). He will show his teeth to his "brother" perverted narcissist and will try never to turn his back, although he will do everything to avoid being on the same territory with him - the danger of exposure is great. In relation to the "true" tyrant - a person with a paranoid-psychopathic structure (or tendency), the perverted narcissist will show ostentatious loyalty and try to "become close". In a cartoon analogy, this is the relationship between Tabaqui and Shere Khan (5). The tyrant always says what he thinks and does what he says, nothing stands between thought and deed, and therefore he tyrannizes "without fear and reproach", using force at his own discretion. The tyrant does not give himself the trouble to adapt. Perverted narcissist ( as actively mediocre mediocrity ) does exactly the opposite. He never does what he says and verbally denies what he does. He is "over-adapted" to social requirements, as if he had set himself the goal of representing the paradigm of social normality. I emphasize once again - unless you are perverted and not a tyrant, you have every opportunity to become a victim: for this you just need to be . The perverted narcissist no doubt has his own "preferences" for those traits of his victims that he exploits to the maximum advantage:
- trust (trustfulness)
- sense of responsibility
- ability to adapt and take into account the needs of another
- vitality, vitality, optimism
- self-confidence and / or the habit of achieving everything by oneself, relying on oneself

3. Dynamics of perverse relationships (as already mentioned, we will consider only the emotional connection).
So, a perverse narcissist is a person whose mode of existence consists in destructive parasitism on people whom he subjugates with the help of psychological manipulations (I don’t think that constructive parasitism could be found anywhere, but I would like to emphasize once again the moment of destructiveness).

The perverse cycle (the structure of perverse violence) can be depicted as a sequence of phases:

- seduction and paralysis of the victim

- subjugation, control and exploitation of the victim ).

The perverse narcissist, like mediocrity, never acts by force. His task is to get people to give him what he wants from them, and in the future also humbly asked to accept . The goal is to create a "different" reality in which the victim would be, and which would be controlled by a perverted narcissist, i.e. Gaslight (7).

I will consider the first 2 stages - seduction and exploitation - with a specific situation in mind.
Victim seduction is the perverse narcissist's presentation of himself as a desired object (one must always keep in mind the concept of perverseness as "turning inside out" - in this case, a person who is sure that he is the only subject of reality will behave towards the other as if this subject were another).
In the sphere of personal relationships (emotional connections), such a presentation would correspond to love .

Perverse narcissist begins to feign love (8):

"Bright wrapper". No one would ever deal with a perverse person if people knew his hidden character traits. But its "front" side is just the exact opposite of the wrong side. Perverse presentation rule: "Be the owner of those positive qualities that the victim most appreciates, and those negative qualities that excite / embarrass the victim the least." Many are surprised at the ability of the perverted to "decipher" the value system and preferences of the future victim on the go. They talk about perverse intuition, but in my opinion, this is not about intuition and not about supernatural abilities: firstly, for the most part people do not hide either their value system or their tastes (quite the opposite), and secondly, as Dr. Yrigoyen says, "It is not true that the perverted are incapable of learning anything; they are incapable of learning only that which does not interest them. " If you look closely at the communication style of the perverse in the presentation stage, one can only marvel at the number of questions he asks the victim (and how deftly he does it). He wants to know everything about her, is keenly interested in everything, genuinely admires ... and asks the question again (or makes a controversial statement and watches the reaction). In fact, he scans the image that he has to play - a handsome prince / fabulous mermaid: "Let me introduce myself: Your Ideal."

"Love bombing". The purpose of the seduction stage is to paralyze and condition the victim, to make him unable to defend himself. Paralysis in the perverse cycle means the victim's critical ability and independent thinking are disabled. Seduction is the illusion of a mutual exchange of feelings : unbridled passion, love at first sight, intensity and scope of affects (intensity and scope are genuine, but they are based on an envious furor, the real passion of the perverse) - everything is aimed at making the victim not a single minute left to herself (and even more so to others, third parties), 24 hours a day the victim must be a spectator and participant in a perverse presentation: constant phone calls, sms, meetings, visits to the office, we sleep together, we eat together, introduce me to your friends/colleagues, courtesies, gifts, flowers, breakfast in bed, romantic dinner, jacuzzi and scented candles (well, or at worst, buying beer or chocolates). It must be emphasized that perverted narcissists, because of their mediocrity and mediocrity, love all sorts of clichés and clichés. In their amorous presentation, they play the roles of a prince / mermaid strictly according to the gender-typical scenario: here you are 9and a half weeks, and a wild orchid, and a marlboro man, and a snow maiden, and a inch ... and always, always this light veil of incomprehension, rejection by a cruel world, a mysterious past and hidden suffering of a vulnerable soul ... (Childe Harold bites his nails in corner). It is the theatrical grotesqueness and "wildness" of the situation that will later play a significant role of feedback in maintaining the paralyzed state of the victim. While she is stunned, unable to think, let alone assess the situation, she knows only one thing: this man / this woman is madly in love and needs her love.

Invasion. It is impossible to establish psychological control over a person and manipulate his behavior without the abolition of his personal boundaries. The stage of seduction and paralysis of the victim is also the stage of invasion of his psychism, i.e. colonization of her mentality, brainwashing. The perverse narcissist from the very first moments of his own presentation begins to think and decide for the victim: "Although you deny it, but I know that you want it", "Darling, I know your feelings better than you yourself" ... Perverse in every possible way tries to create an image of his own omnipotence in relation to the victim - first of all, he claims to "read" her thoughts and "understand" her unconscious motives. The victim experiences this as his own dissolution, and rationalizes it as dissolution in a loved one (a popular popular motif of our culture). The victim does not notice, does not realize that she has neither her own space nor time - the perverted narcissist is present everywhere and constantly demands to focus on his person. The victim moves away from friends, family, familiar circle - she is left alone, one on one with "beloved / beloved. " The victim does not notice that their communication is more and more proceeding according to the scenario: the perverse accuses / suspects - the victim justifies / explains: "Where were you from 13.00 to 13.45? I called you 7 times and you did not pick up the phone" ... "Dear , where have you been? - Begal"... "Who is Y.V. in your notebook? - A former colleague .. - Strange, I dialed the number, and a female voice answered"... All these forays into the sphere of personal belongings , mail, phone calls, all this control is interpreted by the victim as jealousy (and therefore proof of love, in our wild cultural schemes). In fact, we are talking about programming the victim's psychic reactions, so that later it would be enough to simply activate one or another of these reactions in order for the victim to behave as required from her.

Control and operation. After the perverse narcissist is convinced (9) that the victim is in his power and will do nothing to defend himself, he proceeds to the next stage (which, in fact, interests him) - to control the victim and have her available . Actually, this is the initial stage of perverse violence as such. This is violence without the use of force, without visibility. These are words, paradoxes, disappearances, appearances. It's like a silent movie with subtitles in an unknown language. The subtitles say "HATE YOU", but the image on the screen masks it with the intent that the VICTIM CANNOT LEAVE. This "double bottom" communication is known as perverse communication, a way of controlling and exploiting the victim.

It must be borne in mind that at the presentation stage a perverted narcissist spent a lot of money in order to attract the victim to his side. And although these are unrealistic costs, because from the first moments of attracting the attention of the victim, the perverse one begins to feed on her energy / means in a figurative and direct sense, it must be remembered that the perverse narcissist thinks in terms of projections, therefore, simultaneously with the start of his own presentation, he begins grow anger towards his victim, because he/she "makes me act like an idiot" (feign love), "wants to control me", "wants to use me", "she needs only one thing - to get married", "he needs only one - for me to sleep with him" and further down the list.
As a result, by the time the perverse narcissist decides that it is already possible to exploit the victim with impunity , hatred for her literally boils and calls for revenge. Perverzny considers himself humiliated and insulted, robbed and used, and is ready to "show the full bill" to the unsuspecting victim.

The control and exploitation phase begins with

Sobering Slap. As we know, the perverted narcissist never resorts to physical violence. A sobering slap in the face will be a refusal to communicate. The perverse disappears (leaves physically or stops talking, but generally sabotages any attempts to make contact with him). Message to the victim: "DO NOT TALK TO THINGS". So we find ourselves in a world where there is no verbal communication. Instead, there are sighs, shrugs, eye rolls, and goat faces. The victim begins to try to understand: "What did I do? .. What's the matter? .. What is my fault?" Since nothing is said directly, anything can be the culprit. The perverse denies that he is offended or that the conflict even exists. With this, he paralyzes the victim in anticipation that he will appear, speak to her, explain. Rejecting dialogue, communication is a very effective way of escalating the conflict and transferring it completely into the psyche of the victim, who is denied the right to be heard. The one who denies dialogue thereby shows the other that it does not exist, that it is not interesting. Almost simultaneously with the refusal to communicate, the perverted one introduces into a "relationship" with the victim third person , a new girlfriend/friend, to whom/th is trying to direct the victim's indignation (if any) and with the help of which/th begins to unfold the strategy of humiliating the victim through comparison (10). Against the background of the denial of verbal communication, the victim tries to explain himself in writing with the perverse - a fatal mistake!, because when trying to state his requests and claims in writing, the victim inevitably begins to rationalize them , establishing something like a dialogue with himself in which the victim asks questions and tries to answer them herself. As a result, victim

Asks for forgiveness for what she might have done or did "bad", consciously or unconsciously. The perverted narcissist takes this as evidence that the victim is guilty of everything. There has been a formal transfer of responsibility. Q.E.D. Now the victim will have to atone for his guilt. For this, the perverse

Outlines the circle "do not transgress." Or rather, two circles: one inner, in the center of which is the perverted narcissist himself, and where the victim does not have the right to access:

Perverse: No, that's impossible!
Victim: But why?
Perverzny: Himself / should have / should have known!
Victim: No, I don't know, I don't understand why!
Perverse: So think!

Another outer circle is the distance that the victim can go without the perverse one losing power over it. So that he could "appear" at any moment, ask / demand / take from the victim what he needs at the moment, and again go about his life. This is what is called "to have". If to keep the victim at a distance from the inner circle, the perverse uses the tactics of fragmentary and paradoxical messages, then to keep the victim within the outer circle, the perverse uses tactics

Pulling on the line. This is a cyclothymic dynamics of the excitation-response-frustration/gratification type. A typical example: perverse calls the victim and "joyfully" says: "Hi! Long time no see ..." - an unfinished phrase in a "suggestive" tone. The victim is instantly inspired: "Do you want to drink coffee at lunchtime?" - a phrase with hope and fear that they will refuse. The perverse "measures" the degree of interest of the victim: everything is in order, as before, at the very first call, he will clang with his hoof and blow himself up when and where they indicate. The perverted one goes to the "bummer": he begins to "thoughtfully" sniff and mumble into the phone, as if calculating something in his head, while the victim, already terrified of the possibility of refusal, hastily begins to offer to go to lunch / dinner / to the ends of the world / anywhere . .. In the end, the perverse "gives birth": "I don't know if I can ... I'll have to see ... I'll call you back." There will be no call back, of course. But it will be that the victim will rush about for at least a day, scroll through the telephone conversation thousands of times in his head, look for hidden meanings and hints - like a fish that has swallowed a hook, the more it rushes about, the less likely it is to break loose. Periodically, the operation is repeated, NOT ALWAYS ending in a bummer. It is important. In order to keep a person in a state of 9 indefinitely0012 psychological destabilization , it is necessary from time to time to give him hope . So, the perverted in one of his appearances will spend a nice weekend with the victim, as if nothing had happened . Because if you break off all the time, the victim may not be able to withstand so much negativity and, what’s good, he will start talking, consulting with someone else, some goat-psychotherapist, bitch-girlfriend . ., and they will beat her / him in the head ... to this fool/this jerk... Frustration and gratification alternate therefore

In mattress mode. Like dark and white stripes on a mattress. During dark streaks, the victim must think about what she did wrong, and bear the firm intention that next time "everything will be different." During the light stripes, the victim must walk on tiptoe, guess for herself what is needed, and perform without being asked about it . The circle of submission closes. The perverse achieves that only he is the subject of relations, the one who decides when, what, how much. To those on whom they depend. The victim turns into its smooth reflective surface. If it is not reflected in it, everything is gone, time stops - until the next session of reflections.

For the victim, the consequences of all this fuss are very sad . Since her critical ability was paralyzed during "love bombing", the only thing she learned was that she was loved. After a sobering slap in the face, when the possibility of rejection really arose, the victim prefers to accept the conditions of the perverse one, makes altruistic movements (understand-forgive-accept-obey). In order to “persuade” himself into always humiliating conditions for continuing the relationship, the victim begins to idealize the perverse, engages in psychological delights, reads specials. literature, trying to find out where the perverted trauma is, imagines that she (the victim) will quench his pain (plays a psychiatrist). Since her psychism is flooded with the psychism of the perverse (personal boundaries are abolished), the victim also begins to tilt towards megalomania, as a way of mental protection from the real situation of humiliation. Excusing fantasies begin about the fact that the perverse simply fell victim to the machinations of "this painted bitch" / "this bag of shit", and with them begins the perception of oneself as a hero / sorceress who / oh will manage to "save" the perverse. The victim, accepting his subordinate position, fades more and more, each time becomes more and more depressive. Perverzny same every time behaves more confidently and shamelessly. With the establishment of a relationship of subordination, the victim slips into a state of confusion: he does not dare to complain and does not know what exactly. This state is similar to anesthesia: the victim feels that "there is emptiness in the head", it is difficult to think. There is an impoverishment or abolition of abilities, inclinations, talents, interests. Constant fatigue, very difficult to be direct. The feeling of wearing a mask all the time. Confusion leads to tension, to stress. Feeling of emptiness, erasure of personality. Fear that she will have nothing give to the perverted one, and he will finally lose interest. A critical revision of what happened inspires horror and is avoided even on a subconscious level: it is very scary to recognize oneself as a victim of a grotesque deception, a third-rate hoax; it's hard to believe that you've met someone so cruel, it's hard to imagine such a degree of lack of compassion. Attempts to find the internal logic of events. When it is not possible to find it, the feeling of impotence is especially acute. The feeling of powerlessness gives rise to a sense of shame, the victim begins to blame himself for being a victim. It seems to her that she got into this situation because something is wrong in her, that she is to blame for something. Often she is given advice (and psychoanalysts are also doing this), that they say, “You should have less of this and more of that ... but have you ever thought about the fact that you yourself are adding fuel to the fire? ... If he behaves this way, it means you don’t know how to properly maintain relationships "... The stress that arises from the desire to constantly adapt to the mood of the perverse becomes chronic: general anxiety, suspiciousness, trying to predict / warn, obsessive thoughts, nervous tension, alertness . The victim does not understand that the more generosity and good intentions on her part, the more opportunities the pervert has to destabilize her by playing frustration/gratification. In addition, the victim does not receive any help or support from outside: how to explain to someone WHAT is really happening if the victim herself doubts her perceptions and feelings? ..
It seems to me that the addressee of the post has now stopped in her personal situation at this stage. Therefore, I will also stop. Everything will be OK.
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(1) The perverted are in the category of haters. Haters can be classified according to the objects of their hatred (and therefore their aggression). So, gender haters hate women for being women, race haters hate blacks for being dark skinned, and perverse haters hate people for being human. Accordingly, gender haters see themselves as superior to women, racial haters see themselves as superior to blacks, and perverted haters see themselves as superior to human beings. All haters believe that they are fighting for their place under the sun, they all do the same conceptual "trick with their ears" in relation to their "enemies" - reification (from lat. res, rei - thing), when "they" in the concept haters lose their human status and become just things. The consequences are obvious.
A bit of history. The perverse first came to the attention of the FBI, and then of clinical psychology in the early 80s, when they had to seriously study serial killers, and in particular, victimology. At the same time, due to structural changes in the labor market, when losing / changing jobs for most people became a serious problem, psychologists' offices were flooded with people with serious mental traumas (especially suicidal tendencies), who were not even able to explain what was actually happening to them. happening. It was only clear that this "something" had to do with work, with the labor collective. As a result of the research, mobbing was discovered, and along with it, its organizer and inspirer, i.e. perverted narcissist. Then clinicians (primarily Dr. Yrigoyen in Europe) identified and described the behavior of the perverted narcissist outside the workplace, i. e. in the realm of emotional relationships.
Belonging to the perverse is not determined by gender, age or social status. In the following, I use "he" in relation to the perverse and "she" in relation to the victim, exclusively following the rules of grammatical gender .
(2) Following the official nomenclature, and also because of the etymology of the word. The aggressor comes from the Latin a-graed-o "I enter, I enter with small steps " (hence also the word "degree"), which very accurately conveys the dynamics of gradualness, invisibility of establishing psychological control
(3) In this case, the victim is really, in fact a victim of deliberate deceit, manipulation. It must be emphasized that the responsibility for the harm caused to her lies entirely with the perverted aggressor.
(4) There can be no talk of any "masochism", "complimentarity" or "unconscious benefits". Clinicians have proven that people who find themselves in the position of victims of perverse manipulation do NOT show any general psychological profile, did not show masochistic tendencies before and do not show them after. And vice versa, the universality of the reactions of the victims to the SITUATION of perverse aggression proves its objective existence - this is a real situation, and not the "speculations" of the victims.
(5) By "relationships" I mean relationships within the workforce. It would never occur to any perverse person to enter into an emotional connection with those like themselves or with tyrants. Like hell from incense.
(6) Classic mobbing scheme.
(7) This expression entered European languages ​​as meaning the creation of an alternative reality for the purpose of mental manipulation. To make a person doubt the correctness/reality of their perceptions, thoughts and even actions.
(8) Within the framework of our culture, it will not be difficult for him. Our heads are full of confusion and vacillation about many things and concepts, and first of all about love. We think of love as something so vague that it can actually be ANYTHING, and we will continue to call it love.
(9) The perverse convinces the victim of submission with the help of "control shots", when the victim is presented with a more or less veiled demand to do something that, under normal conditions, the victim would not agree to do. These can be dubious (for the victim) sexual practices, compromising behavior in the professional sphere - everything that can become a "little secret" between the perverse and his victim. Most often, the victim performs all these actions unconsciously . She doesn't understand what they mean, she doesn't see "anything special".
(10) As a rule, in the perverse presentation phase, the victim herself was such a "third person" in the perverse narcissist's previous relationship. The victim was told how hard it was for the perverted person with those / those who did not understand / abandoned / injured / traumatized. Flattering comparisons were made in favor of the victim. It was hinted (or openly said) that the former girlfriend/boyfriend was "slightly out of his mind"/limited his freedom/were a real vixen/goat, etc. In general, it was narrated in bright colors and unnecessary details (the image of the perverse was created as a victim).

Consciousness without inner "I" / Sudo Null IT News

This article is devoted to the state of consciousness without the inner "I". Such a state with a certain training can be experienced by each person on personal experience. Perception in this state of consciousness is very different from perception in the normal state, and some of its aspects can help solve various issues regarding the human mind, which arise, among other things, when discussing technologies for transferring consciousness to a machine, creating an artificial brain or copying a human brain, etc. .

Foreword

It so happened that the theme of a state of consciousness without an inner "I" is not very popular. For some reason, this state is not considered in articles where they talk about robots with human feelings or try to resolve various paradoxes associated with the internal experience of intelligent beings. Even among people who are fond of various mental practices, for whom this state can be one of the important peaks, there are almost no those who have experienced such a state in practice and very few of those who have even heard of such a phenomenon. Perhaps I was just “badly looking”, since initially for me such a state was of practical interest, and not theoretical. For this reason, this article will be based almost entirely on my personal experience of experiencing this state. However, I hope it will still be at least interesting. The article will touch on many topics that, to one degree or another, may be related to this state, and at the end of the article you can find various ways how this state can be induced by anyone.

Since the topic is difficult to understand, first you need to define some terms and nuances. Since this state refers to the so-called altered states of consciousness , then in the article, instead of “a state of consciousness without an inner Self”, the abbreviation ISS will be used almost everywhere.

Contents

* What happens when the "I" disappears

* The human body is like a robot, or almost complete automatism

* Dialogues and thoughts without words or the language of consciousness

* The personality of a person or what is under the hood of the psyche

* Pain without suffering

* The amplitude of emotional experiences

* Why do we need "I" and why do we "think" a lot

* Mentioned in other sources

* How to repeat this experience and safety precautions

What happens when the "I" disappears

My first experience of ASC differed from subsequent ones in that the transition to the state occurred imperceptibly for me after long attempts to induce the state. In subsequent ISS experiments, the transition to the state almost always went through the fear of death: when it was possible to stop the flow of thoughts to an almost pure state, the resulting emptiness began to frighten: it seemed that a little more, and everything would disappear (either the world around would disappear, or you yourself) . However, if you overcome this fear and continue to plunge into this emptiness, then nothing terrible happens. The inner "I" really disappears like a sensation. But consciousness, what it observes, does not disappear (and it also covers with such a vivid feeling that it seems that this is the happiest state in the world). Only perception changes, the world is no longer divided into the concepts of "I" and "not I". Moreover, the absence of such a division is not the same as if the mind suddenly began to consider the whole world as oneself (although a feeling of unity with the whole world in this state may arise, but this is not the same as considering the whole world as oneself). This is precisely the destruction of the criterion of division, there is no longer a feeling of "this is I", and there is no feeling of "this is not I". At the same time, the ability to distinguish the boundaries of one's body, or to understand one's name, does not disappear. But it will happen without the feeling of "this is me" or "not me".

This state is also interesting because it is impossible to explain it later either to oneself or to another person. This state can only be experienced on personal experience and be in it in order to understand the phenomena in the world without the criterion of division into "I" and "not I". For some reason, our usual logic resists understanding the world without dividing it into “I” and “not I”, although this idea without dividing the world into “I” and “not I” is rather more correct. Arguing about such a state, one way or another, the thought wants to solve the problem through one of the two states, but the third cannot be found.

As a result, in the ordinary state of consciousness, we are forced to always use the concept of the inner "I", even when it is not necessary. For example, it is difficult for us to imagine an electron particle without transferring the idea of ​​our “I” to it. If we imagine an electron particle, we automatically seem to feel like an electron, for which there is a more energetically “favorable” state. We have no words in the language for the states of inanimate objects. Therefore, the electron has a “beneficial” state, which in fact cannot be applied to anyone, because it has no “I”. Thinking about evolution, we get "good" genes, "important" tasks, because we put ourselves in the place of living beings that evolve, and thus understand what will be more profitable and what will not, from the standpoint of the internal experience of living beings, and not from the standpoint of the inanimate process "evolution".

Human body, like a robot, or almost complete automatism

In the ASC, you can also, as in the normal state of consciousness, feel your body and control it. However, now the body is perceived differently, it is perceived as an automaton that can walk by itself, can drive you home from work and back, can cook food by itself, and can even play the piano by itself. Those. all basic skills can work automatically. At the same time, you do not lose control over the body, you can still do anything. But you have a clear understanding that if you give the body a command, for example, to move your finger, your consciousness will not move the finger itself, the body will move the finger, move “something” in the body, some mechanisms will execute your command, as it should, but you don't personally do it. In fact, you yourself in this state cannot do anything, you can only be manager \ at a very high level, and feel how some control processes are taking place inside your body that implement your command. Moreover, the body carries out not only your commands, it also often decides what is needed now. But you can interfere with these decisions.

Body automatism can be invoked separately from the ASC state. For example, this is achieved by trying to “let go” of control over walking while walking, to eliminate the feeling “I am moving my legs”. If the technique works, you will begin to feel that your legs themselves go where they need to and how they need to. At the same time, you continue to feel your legs, feel how they move, but without the feeling that you personally are doing this process. At the same time, control of the situation still lies with you. You have simply eliminated the feeling of "I'm going." Indeed, a person usually does not actually control every movement, but at the same time feels that supposedly "he is walking." Those. processes in the body are simply assigned to our inner "I" after the fact.

During the very first, longest and brightest experience of ASC, when the state was already beginning to weaken, I decided to record a video of playing the piano for the last time. I don't have a lot of experience playing the piano, let alone creating professional music. The video just shows that you can automatically play at the level of your skills. The melody in the video was also created “automatically” during the game, I didn’t specifically think which keys to press, only sometimes I changed the direction of the game.

Dialogues and thoughts without words or the language of consciousness

Probably, everyone noticed that before saying or thinking something, there is already all the information in the head, which after a couple of seconds will be announced. But despite the fact that we know this information in advance, for some reason we still voice it. It turns out a kind of "duplication" of the same information presented in different forms. Perhaps this is the only thing that can be noticed inside oneself in a normal state of consciousness.

In the ASC, the sounding of thoughts does not occur (ie, you never "think" in the usual sense of the word), all information exists only in the form of sensations. Even during reading, the assimilation of information occurs without first translating it into words. Dialogue with another person will take place in the same way without “words” within oneself, and will take place automatically. In ASC, you can either completely automatically carry on a conversation with a person, or interfere with the meaning of what you want to answer. This is essentially the same "automatism" of the body, which extends to dialogue with people, to reading, to the processing of visual and auditory information.

In ASC one can feel not only thoughts as sensations without words, but also perceive any visual and auditory images not as a sound or an image, but as a sensation containing all the information. This sensation can be interpreted into a visual image or into the voicing of words, into a certain text, and there is no single correct interpretation. Those. the sensation can be interpreted in many ways, with a partial loss of information.

For example, if you imagine some complex three-dimensional object, then in ASC it will be a sensation, but what we are used to “imagining” in the ordinary state of consciousness in the form of a projection of a three-dimensional object onto a plane is only an interpretation of this sensation.

Unfortunately, it is often very difficult to interpret sensations into information that is understandable in everyday life. For example, you can feel the length of an object, but you cannot accurately express it in meters. Sometimes it is impossible to express a feeling at all, and it turns out that you know something, but do not understand this knowledge at the level of words, at the level of any ideas from the ordinary state of consciousness.

Is consciousness the work of the parts of the brain responsible for speech?

The article What is Consciousness describes the theory that consciousness is “the distribution of neural excitation among the prefrontal cortex, association cortex and areas responsible for speech – this is what our “I”, our consciousness or focus of perception is. "

The experience of ISS, on the one hand, proves in principle that speech and the inner self are interconnected things. However, it also proves that consciousness and the inner Self are different things, and the former can be separated from the latter. Thus consciousness and inner speech are different things, consciousness can work without inner speech.

Personality of a person or what is under the hood of the psyche

In ISS you remain an ordinary person with all his usual desires, needs, problems inside, nothing new. However, the personality of a person in ASC does not look like a solid monolith, it is no longer “I”. In ISS, different “sources” are responsible for different needs, tasks. The “source” is something that can be felt in oneself, which gives a certain signal to control the body. A person's personality is made up of "sources". They can fully automatically control the entire body. For example, the “source” can decide for your consciousness what to answer to a person in a dialogue with him, if consciousness does not intervene. It is the “source” that can be responsible for your hobby, create interest in a particular business. But not all "sources" can be attributed to the individual, many "sources" refer to basic things, such as the desire to eat, breathe, etc.

Looking under the hood of the psyche, one can see a whole "orchestra" from "sources". And it is they who most often rule everything in life most of the time. And some of these "sources" we call ourselves, our personality traits, our personality. In fact, this is essentially a "program" of behavior.

Theoretically, "sources" can be changed, thus changing the characteristics of the personality, because the "source" is an automation tool in the hands of consciousness, and not an indestructible fundamental part of what we consider ourselves to be.

Pain without suffering

In an ordinary state of consciousness, it is difficult for us to imagine that it is possible to experience very deep emotional states, sob, climb a wall, lie on the floor, scream, and that all this was possible without suffering. It seems to us that pain and suffering are inseparable things. In the ASC, one can experience very deep experiences, but they will not “burn”, due to which one can immerse oneself in them more than in the normal state. Moreover, due to the fact that empathy in ASC works well, you can experience the feelings of another person as deeply as possible, experience his states as your own, understand his pain, delve into his past, fully empathizing.

Amplitude of emotional experiences

As a child, I became interested in electronics. I was 6 years old when I first picked up a soldering iron. I really liked to make various home-made things, I went crazy for radio components and just for all sorts of pieces of iron. However, over time, my passion became less and less "bright", although I continued to like it.

Feelings in ASC are as vivid as in childhood. Once, after a walk, I went into my room, saw there, as usual, my rubbish from radio components, but I experienced the same thing as in childhood, as if I saw radio components for the first time. It was a feeling of novelty, celebration, joy of life, which was on that day in general, in principle, for any reason.

Feelings of novelty, celebration, joy of life - these are all quite ordinary sensations from an ordinary state. With age, the world becomes less and less "bright" not at all because memories are distorted and seem brighter than they were. In fact, due to the avoidance of internal problems, the “amplitude” of both bad feelings and good ones decreases, and as a result, the emotional perception of the world becomes more and more “neutral”. In this regard, ISS allows you to return perception to full power. In ISS, you can make yourself a child by just going out for a walk in the evening in your sleeping area.

Why do we need "I" and why do we "think" a lot

I have been practicing ASC for a very long time, and I was looking for reasons why the condition eventually disappears. One of the practices I did was to simply watch the thoughts that come up in my head and try to feel the reason for them. From practical observations, it turned out that any thought voiced in the head has a hidden experience under it. Roughly speaking, a person is always under the pressure of experiences, but does not realize it. Instead of experiences, a person “thinks” about something. It may be music in the head, it may be reflections, and there may even be reflections about ISS, maybe philosophy, there may be thoughts on work. However, the verdict of any voiced thought is one - it is suffering. But by translating emotions into abstract words, suffering is not experienced as an emotion. I make the assumption that the inner self is a psychological defense mechanism against experiences that works by delimiting experiences. Roughly speaking, the label “this is not me” is put on internal discomfort, due to which it becomes easier to live. And for this distinction to work, it must be constantly maintained by thoughts in the head.

Based on this assumption, it also follows that practices to suppress thoughts in the head cannot be effective, since they do not eliminate the cause of thoughts. The reason is that a person cannot or does not want to deal with his feelings, hides them from himself. To some extent, this is his choice. For the same reason, any methods that do not eliminate the “choice” of a person “not to pay attention to their experiences” cannot be effective at all. This is where their temporary action comes from.

Mention in other sources

This state of ASC is mentioned in the works of Viktor Argonov. Many of the states that the musician touches on in his works have been considered in this article from the point of view of personal experience. However, I generally do not agree with Victor's position.

From the video clip "Crossing the Line - Part 5: there, beyond the line"

Also, the state of consciousness without an inner "I" is described as the silence of the mind in the writings of the Indian philosopher, poet and revolutionary Sri Aurobindo. Much of what is described in his books coincides with my personal experience. And given that I read it after the first experience of ISS, I was especially pleased to see it.

Also, on a tip from a professor of biology, there are practitioners who have been "seriously purged of the religious husks" by Gurdjieff.

Perhaps this is all I know about this topic from other sources.

How to repeat this experience and safety

Anyone can call the ISS. Once you start training, it's only a matter of time. But first, a little safety tech under the spoiler.

Safety

What to do if someone spoke to me in my head

At first, during the practice, it may happen that someone will talk to you in your head. This voice may appear to be anyone, but it is important to understand that you are actually talking to yourself (some part of your psyche is talking to you). A similar situation indicates that you did something against your will (well, as against, against some part of yourself). You provoked an internal conflict. If in this situation you believe what the voice offers you, then by doing so you will transfer control of yourself to this part of your psyche (in practice, it can mean the beginning of the path to a madhouse, although most likely you will simply tell your friends how you communicate with “that” world ). Therefore, politely refuse this voice, no matter what it offers you or what it doesn’t frighten you with. Don't be afraid of anything, nothing can happen to you if you don't allow it to happen.

What to do if someone is around

It may be that after the practice, the presence of some creature will be felt nearby. It is possible that the creature can even attack. It is important to remember that this is your own game with yourself. Don't go to war with imaginary beings. You just need to forbid them to come to you, to forbid you to interfere. It all depends on you, on your choice. Even if you have already managed to break firewood, you can always disperse. No one can do anything to you against your will.

Warning

After the practice, there may be a “rollback”, this is when your psychological state temporarily worsens. There may be a splash of aggression on others, you may begin to behave strangely.

Remember that practices are not the solution to your current problems. This means that if you are unhappy in a relationship, or someone has died, or whatever, you should not seek solace in practices, this actually causes the first two points, and not only them. You run the risk of starting to live in imaginary worlds.

Now let's continue. Personally, I first enter into a state of "love for everything", in which oneness with the whole world is felt, and one can feel love even for the sand under one's feet. This state is easier to call than to turn off the inner "I", so it's better to start with it. In addition, in this state, you can then track your thoughts and work out the experiences that these thoughts cause, in order to then enter the ASC. The technique is given under the spoiler.

Method

I have a specific way to enter into a state of unity with the whole world, and perhaps this is just the so-called "anchor". However, it might work for you too.

First, I imagine a "bright light" somewhere up there, to which I mentally reach up. There should be a feeling of "lifting" up, or pulling the body up. You can imagine going up on a jet elevator, you can crawl up the stairs, or climb in some other way. Our goal is to climb as high as possible to the brightest "light". We seem to rise higher and higher to the upper layers, but not of the atmosphere, but of the "light" that penetrates the body. The higher, the brighter the light. This light is the essence of the inner state. This light is “there” unconditional love for everything, this is what is commonly called a “divine” manifestation. In general, this is all "good".

The level to which you can rise must be related to your condition. This feedback in the form of sensation will arise by itself. However, for everything to work properly, you can’t imagine that you are already at the very top. You must always rise from the bottom up, gradually, feeling how the light is getting brighter, listening to the sensations in the body.

After a certain number of days, this practice can cause a feeling of love for everything. After a long break, it took me 2-5 days (15 minutes on the way to work and back) to start getting into the state again. You will be able to feel unity with the street along which you walk during practice, with the water flowing in the river, with lampposts, with the road, feel love for yourself or for a part of yourself.

After mastering the technique, you can proceed to the ISS. To do this, it is enough to continue the same practice, but at the same time working with the thoughts in your head. It's important to stop them. To do this, I propose to work with the feelings that thoughts evoke. You need to dive into your own experiences and "pull" them to the level of another understanding of the world, where these experiences cannot exist, as their "logic" collapses. This is realized by a trite “love” for the suffering part of oneself.

Some conclusions

• ISS can show from personal experience that the world actually looks quite different. In the real world, there are no concepts of “mine”, “I”, and the beauty is that it is in such a world that real happiness can exist, because otherwise suffering would be real. Suffering is possible only as long as the sufferer (i.e. the inner Self) exists.
• ISS makes it possible to see that many human abilities are separable from consciousness, and therefore, in order to study consciousness directly, everything unnecessary can be sifted out.
• ISS shows that if a person has free will (in the form of the intervention of consciousness in processes), then we use it at least not so often, since most often parts of our psyche decide for our consciousness, which is essentially an “autopilot ".
• Along with the disappearance of inner speech, the inner "I" also disappears, but consciousness does not disappear. Therefore, it is not yet known what exactly to transfer to the “machine”, and what exactly to “copy” into the artificial brain from the present, so that we can talk about the transfer of precisely “consciousness”.
• Almost all people live under the constant pressure of internal problems, which is expressed in the presence of "voicing thoughts." "Thoughts" are the result of escaping experiences. At the same time, such a solution to the problem does not essentially solve internal problems, but it is easier to implement

Update 09/14/2019
I add to the article a description of the methodology for "forecasting the future." Who cares, please under the spoiler.

Forecasting

The forecast can be obtained using techniques for entering a special state of consciousness. In a state of stopping inner speech or/and “love for everything”, it is enough to “mentally” rewind time into the future, but you need to rewind it gradually, and not immediately, so as not to go into fantasies. “Rewinding” can be understood by the feeling that something is “changing”, for example, feel yourself in the next hour - in the next hour you will know that there is already an hour more on the clock hand, but now you don’t have such a feeling, since the clock shows a different time, you are not yet where you should be, etc. Through comparisons of this kind, one can understand what it means to “rewind to the future” in terms of sensations. Time for you should be expressed as a static sensation of a certain state of reality, and it does not matter whether it is present, future or past.

Also, one more point - the forecast is also based on feelings, and not "dry" facts. Those. if you, for example, want to know if you will have big money in a month, then you need to rewind to the future, try to feel your mood "in the future", your feelings, emotions, or try to feel directly the object that you want verify. And these feelings can already be concluded. Do not try to "hear the voice" or slide into the imagination with illustrations. It is necessary to use such perception, which is the basis of our thoughts, internal dialogue, i.e. without visualization.

Do not assume that the forecast will come true, this is just a life-hack on how to squeeze extra percentages of benefit (sometimes of dubious benefit) out of your brains. The forecast is based trivially on the capabilities of our brain to predict the future, therefore this method essentially solves only the issue of removing restrictions from the knowledge that is already inside us, but which is hidden from consciousness (as a rule, because it will be psychologically difficult for us to accept this knowledge, because there may be information about the upcoming separation, death, illness, etc.).

A couple of examples of how forecasting works.
Example #1: Once I was talking to a friend from Ukraine, to whom my girlfriend left. He said that he would come to Russia in the summer, when suddenly I felt that he would not be able to buy tickets (I did not specifically try to find out anything, it happened by itself). I told him about it, and he ridiculed me, said that nothing prevents him from taking tickets right now, he just doesn’t want to disturb people (meaning that the studies are not over yet, his new girlfriend had exams ahead). Later in the summer, I decided to meet with my ex, to reconcile. At the meeting, she said that I could be satisfied, because her new boyfriend could not come to the Russian Federation, flights by plane were canceled due to the ongoing conflicts between Russia and Ukraine.

In fact, there is no mysticism here, just apparently the facts of bad news on the net were enough for such a forecast. And as you can see, in order to make such forecasts, it is not at all necessary to deliberately think about the “future” aloud. The brain itself has already thought a hundred times in the background, but not all “we” are allowed to know directly.

There were several similar situations, and there were many (about a dozen) situations where I found out the forecast at will. Of course, the forecast does not give 100% guarantees, and can often be harmful. I'll give an example why.

Example #2: I worked with an investor and we were doing a hard project. As time went on, the project was brought to the stage of a working prototype with heavy efforts on my part. At this point, I decided to "peep" what will happen in the future. My feelings told me that very soon it would become “easier to live”, the emotional state in my family would improve, and even with money everything would seem to be not bad, but not cosmic either. But it had to happen in unexpected ways. No matter how I tried to find out exactly how, I could not find the answer. It only seemed that it was not like the fact that the project would bring a sharp profit. Something else must have happened.

And something else happened. My investor decided to “fire” me and distribute the shares in the project among new tech partners so that my 50% was now divided into 4 people. The investor was not satisfied with the prototype of the device, he wanted a more advanced device, as well as to start developing 5-6 more new devices that would satisfy the needs of certain categories of potential buyers. At the same time, new tech partners would have to do development only for a share in the project, with almost no funding (that is, in words they would receive money for expenses to buy parts, but they would have to provide for themselves).

After some hesitation, I came into conflict with an investor. In the stash I had working trading algorithms for trading with self-optimization, the launch of which I had been putting off for more than a year, because I could not find and interest an investor in algorithmic trading. The situation with trading algorithms was crazy, because I had previously tested them for 10 years and even tested them in practice and got a good result. But I still preferred to rely on an investor experienced in business, because there was a “share” in the project and the result seemed quick and calm.

As a result, I put the investor's project aside until better times, it was obvious that it would be difficult to raise it in the new conditions, and decided to focus on trading as an option with a higher probability of successful completion, which ultimately brought me my first decent profit .

If in the forecast of the future everything that is coming to me would become known immediately, most likely I would not be able to go through these events as well.

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