My husband doesn t want to do anything with me
My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me: 10 Reasons Why
Do you ever feel that your husband is getting further and further away from you?
Admitting that, it’s natural if you have those sentiments and are furious at him. While your situation isn’t unique, it is nevertheless not typical. Spending quality time together is a desirable trait in every marriage and shouldn’t be compromised.
My husband doesn t want to spend time with me; it hurts. As a result, I feel unimportant, invisible, and alone. If this is a recent development, you may be wondering what went wrong and how to fix it.
What do you do when your spouse doesn’t want to spend any free time with you? This can be difficult to navigate, but don’t worry – we’re here to help! This blog post will discuss the ten most common reasons why your spouse might not want to spend time with you and what you can do about it.
Why My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me: 14 Reasons
He Is Under A Great Deal Of Stress At Work
If your husband is constantly bringing work home with him or working long hours, it can easily lead to conflict between you two. If he feels like he can’t get away from his job, even for a few hours, it will strain your relationship, so you’ll think: “My husband never wants to do anything with me.”
What you can do:
- Talk to him about how you’re feeling and see if there’s anything you can do to help relieve some of his stress.
- Suggest ways to wind down together after a long day instead of just vegging out in front of the TV.
- Plan weekend getaways or vacations well in advance so he has something to look forward to and can plan accordingly at work.
He Believes You Are Uninterested In What He Does
What to do if my husband doesn t want to spend time with me? For example, if you don’t share his love for football, he may feel like it would be a waste of time.
It’s essential to show interest in the things your spouse enjoys, even if you don’t share the same enthusiasm. This will make him feel valued and appreciated and more likely to want to spend time with you so you won’t complain: ”My husband never wants to do anything with me.
” You don’t have to fake excitement about every little thing, but ask questions and express genuine curiosity about what he’s passionate about.
Read Also: 11 Signs of Selfish Husband and How to Deal With Him
He Feels Like You’re Always Nagging Him
If your husband feels like you’re constantly nagging him, he’ll likely start to dread spending time with you. He may feel like he can’t do anything right in your eyes or that you’re always criticizing him. This can make him feel resentful and unwilling to spend time with you.
What should I do if my husband never wants to do anything with me? First, try to be more positive when you’re around him. Compliment him on things he does well, and express gratitude for you. If you can make him feel appreciated, he’ll spend time with you.
Additionally, try not to nitpick everything that he does wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, and your husband is no exception. If you focus on his negative qualities, it’ll only push him away.
You’re Too Demanding
It’s also essential to give your husband some space if you’ve noticed: ”My husband doesn t want to spend time with me.” Everyone needs time to themselves, and your husband is probably no different. If you’re always demanding his attention, he’ll likely start to feel suffocated. This can lead to him wanting to distance himself from you, which isn’t good for your relationship.
Instead of demanding his time, try giving him some space to do what he enjoys. This will allow him to miss you, making spending time with you that much more special. Plus, it’ll give you some time to pursue your own interests instead of thinking for hours: “My husband never wants to do anything with me.”
You Don’t Make Enough Effort To Spend Time With Him
This is probably the most common reason why husbands feel like their wives don’t care about spending time with them. If you’re constantly asking your husband to spend time with you, he may feel like you’re not putting in enough effort to make it happen.
What to do if my husband never wants to do anything with me? First, try taking a more proactive approach by planning fun activities that you can do together. This way, your husband knows that you’re serious about wanting to spend time with him, and he won’t feel like he’s being nagged.
Some Ideas:
- Plan a weekly date night where you go out to dinner or see a movie
- Go on weekend trips together – even if it’s just for a few hours
- Make time for a weekly game night or hobby night
- Exercise together – this can be anything from going for a walk to playing tennis
- Spend an evening each week catching up on your favorite TV show or reading books side by side.
Your Relatives Make Him Feel Frustrated
My husband doesn t like spending time with my family, but why? You might not see it, but your relatives can sometimes be quite overwhelming, especially if they’re always around. If your husband feels like he can’t get a break from them, it’ll start to take a toll on him, and he might begin distancing himself from you.
Sometimes, your spouse needs some space – and that’s perfectly normal. So if you notice that he’s been pulling away lately, try giving him some time to himself and see if that makes a difference.
What to do if my husband doesn t like spending time with my family? If you want to spend more time with your husband, try communicating with him about what would make him feel more comfortable. For example, would he prefer to spend time alone with you? Or going out together with friends or family? Respecting his wishes will go a long way in making him feel more inclined to spend time with you.
My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me, Because He Is Emotionally Isolated
Ignore builds a wall between you and your spouse. If you’re spending more time with work, kids, or hobbies, he may feel left out. Even if you’re not trying to ignore him, busyness can create an emotional barrier. You might be unwittingly putting distance between yourself and your partner by being too busy.
Routine can also lead to emotional isolation in marriage. The day-to-day grind of work, errands, and childcare can make it hard to find time for each other, and you conclude: “My husband doesn t like spending time with my family and me.” This is especially true if you have different schedules or live in other places. Over time, the lack of connection can take a toll on your relationship.
If you want to close the gap, try making a regular date night where you can focus on each other without distractions. You can also look for ways to connect during the day, like taking a walk together or sharing a coffee break.
He’s Established New Goals
Suppose your husband has started working longer hours, studying for a big test, or training for a marathon. In that case, likely, he’s just trying to better himself. What to do when my husband never wants to do anything with me during this period? While you may feel like you’re being neglected, it’s important to remember that this period won’t last forever.
Try to understand and support his new goals. Once he achieves them, you’ll have plenty of quality time together. Try not to take it personally if he seems distant. He’s preoccupied with other things.
He Shows His Affection In Another Way
Relationships are challenging, and that includes marriages. If you feel like
“my husband doesn t want to spend time with me”, there’s a chance he might not be intentionally ignoring you. Maybe he just shows his affection in other ways?
Often, men show their love through acts of service instead of words. So, if your husband is always working on projects around the house or taking care of the kids, he may be trying to show you how much he cares.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should never spend time with your spouse. On the contrary, everyone needs quality time with their loved ones. But if you strongly believe: “My husband doesn t like spending time with my family and me,” it might not be personal. Instead, he could simply be showing his love by other gestures.
He Thinks You’re Overwhelming
If your spouse feels like you’re always trying to get him to do things or constantly talking to him, it can be tough to want to spend time with you. In this case, try giving him some space and see if that encourages him to come to you more.
An issue “my husband never wants to do anything with me” could also mean that he’s an introvert and he just needs some time alone to recharge. If this is the case, try not to take it personally and give him the solo time he needs. Just because he doesn’t want to spend every waking moment with you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
There Are Other People In His Life
My husband doesn t want to spend time with me, is it true? It’s not just you and him against the world. He has friends, hobbies, and other commitments that compete for his time. And sometimes, those things come first. For example, suppose he’s always putting his buddies before you or bailing on plans because he’d rather do something else.
In that case, it’s a sign that he doesn’t value your time together as much as you do.
Of course, this isn’t to say that you should never come first. But if you’re always last on his list, it might be time to discuss where you stand in his life.
What to do when my husband never wants to do anything with me? First, talk to him about how you’re feeling and see if there’s anything he can do to change the situation. If he’s unwilling to make any changes, you might have to accept that this is how things are and find ways to occupy your time when he’s busy with other things.
He Suffers From Depression Or Anxiety
If your spouse is dealing with depression or anxiety, they may not want to do anything, let alone spend time with you and your family. This isn’t personal – it’s a symptom of their mental illness. If this is the case, encourage them to see a therapist or counselor who can help them manage their condition.
What to do if my husband never wants to do anything with me because of mental illness? At the same time, don’t neglect your own needs.
Make sure to schedule some “me time” into your week to stay sane and avoid resentment. Depression and anxiety are both exhausting illnesses, so you must take care of yourself.
You Might Have Become Too Needy Or Dependent On Him
Do you find yourself constantly needing your husband’s attention? Do you often think, “my husband doesn t like spending time with my family and me”? If you’re the type of person who gets insecure and jealous when your partner talks to anyone else or even just spends time away from you, it might be time to take a step back. Constantly needing reassurance from your spouse can be suffocating and is likely one of the reasons why he’s pulling away.
It’s important to have hobbies and interests outside of your relationship. This will give you a sense of self-fulfillment, but it will also make you more attractive to your husband so you won’t be worried and constantly think: ”My husband never wants to do anything with me.” When you’re content with yourself, you’re less likely to demand constant attention, giving him the breathing room he needs.
He’s Attracted By Someone Else
If your husband is spending more time with friends, at work, or on his hobbies, it might be because he’s found someone new to spend his time with. This could be an emotional affair or a physical one. If you suspect this is the case, you’ll need to have a serious conversation about what’s going on and how it’s affecting your relationship.
When it comes to a conclusion “my husband doesn t want to spend time with me”, an affair is one of the most common reasons. If your husband is cheating on you, it’s crucial to confront him and figure out what to do next. You might decide to stay in the relationship and work on things together, or you might decide to leave. Either way, it’s essential to discuss what’s going on and how it’s impacting your relationship.
If your husband used to spend a lot of time with you and now you complain: “my husband never wants to do anything with me”, it can be confusing and hurtful. You might feel like you’re not good enough or that he’s finding someone else to replace you.
But before you jump to conclusions, there are a few other possible explanations for why your husband doesn’t want to spend time with you.
You Might Have Stopped Being Physically Attractive To Him
If you’ve gained a lot of weight, let your hair go gray, or stopped caring about your appearance, it’s possible your husband no longer finds you attractive. This is especially true if he notices other women and gives you compliments less often.
It’s not shallow to want to be with someone who desires you. So, if you think this might be the explanation for the issue “my husband never wants to do anything with me,” make an effort to lose weight, get a new haircut, or buy some new clothes. If he sees that you’re making an effort for him, he’ll likely reciprocate.
Of course, there’s more to a relationship than physical attraction–but it is important. And if your husband has told you outright that he’s no longer attracted to you, it’s time for a serious conversation.
Read Also: Why Husband Blames Me For Everything: The Truth Behind Relationship Arguments
Conclusion
If my husband never wants to do anything with me, it’s essential to take a step back and figure out why.
Once you know the reason, you can work on a solution. In many cases, it may be that your spouse is feeling overwhelmed or emotionally isolated.
Showing more affection in different ways or spending more time together may help resolve the issue. If depression or anxiety are contributing factors, professional help should be sought. No matter what the problem is, communication is critical. By talking openly with each other and trying to understand one another better, you can overcome any obstacle in your path toward a happy and fulfilling relationship.
My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me
Author: Stuart Cameron, MSW, RSW
Does your husband never want to do anything with you anymore? Husbands ignore their spouses because of personal problems that they are not ready to talk about or do not want to talk about. Work-related issues can lead to him distancing himself from you. He may feel that his emotional needs are not being met and has found a way to fulfill that need elsewhere.
Although it would be great to always be in a good space with your spouse, that is not always the case, especially when you have been together for a long time. Feeling shut out emotionally and physically by your partner can feel like you are being abandoned. Finding out what the root cause is can help bring back the spark and connection.
It can be difficult to pinpoint why your husband is not interested in doing anything with you as some men have an avoidant personality. Yes, your husband may come around, but often you continue to feel like a stranger to him. Being proactive and getting reasons instead of ignoring it and hoping that everything goes back to normal will work out for the best.
Related Reading: My Husband Never Initiates Intimacy, WHY?
He Thinks You Want to Control the Way He Spends His Time
Men usually need to feel independent, free, and in control, and because women crave connectivity and one of the ways for that is spending time together, he may feel like you are trying to dictate how he should spend his time.
He may feel like he has no room to exercise his independence just because you want to do things with him. So he starts isolating himself and doing what he wants to regain the control that he feels like he has lost, leaving you feeling abandoned.
It Seems Like You Want All His Time to Yourself
Perhaps both of you are constantly working, or he is constantly at work and rarely gets free time, and you feel neglected and just want to do things with him when he is not at work. So you make plans without asking him what he may want to do with his free time.
At that moment, you’re just thinking about yourself because you’re eager to spend time with him, but he may just want to use that time to relax and watch sports with the boys or have some time to himself to maybe reflect on work-related things.
This makes it look like he does not want to do things with you because he would rather spend his free time elsewhere, and often he stops wanting to do things with you because he has previously spent all his free time with you and is starting to resent that it must always be that way.
It is hard as a woman to not want to spend as much time as you can with him because he may always be busy, but space and time can have the opposite effect and will most likely lead to him feeling happier with how he can control his time, and he will no longer feel obligated but happy and willing to spend time with you.
He Could Feel Like He Can Never Do Anything Right
Your husband may be someone that isn’t skilled in many things and does not enjoy being active. He might not enjoy what you like to do and so does not want any part of it and stops trying because he’ll just end up feeling inadequate and lacking.
People are prone to go back to things that they are good at and where they will feel confident. So he would rather do things that he feels will lead to that feeling of being successful and happy. If he feels like he can be himself around you and not what you expect him to be, he will be happier to spend more time doing things with you.
Things to Do When Your Husband Won’t Spend Time With You
It can be overwhelming trying to figure out how to get your husband to do things with you and just generally be there to spend time with you.
The following can help you both find a way out of the trench:
- Find out if anything has changed and if so, get clarity into whether or not the change is real or just something your mind conjured up because of what you may be feeling or going through.
- Set time aside to sit down with him and talk through your feelings and what you think is happening. Explain what you have observed and emphasize the importance of having open communication to avoid misunderstanding but also to find out exactly what’s going on. Make sure to focus on listening and taking the time to comprehend what your partner is saying. Find out what’s driving and motivating that kind of behavior.
- Take the time to both decide what you want to do and where you see your relationship going. Find out if they are willing to work on any issues that were brought up or if he is not interested so that you know where you stand.
- Couples therapy or a marriage counselor can help bring clarity if you cannot settle on a solution or decide on a way forward.
- If you decide to work on your marriage, do so in a way that enables both of you to reconnect and bring back the emotional and physical intimacy so that you feel cherished and loved. Be prepared to both put in the work and effort and constantly keep your communication lines open.
Related Reading: My Husband Keeps Telling Me to Leave
Conclusion
Finding common interests and reconnecting can be a lot of fun. Focus on the things that you can control and adopt a positive outlook when emotionally reconnecting.
Once you have established what the problem is, try finding ways to get busy doing things that you enjoy by yourself or with friends so as to not smother him and appear to be too clingy. The open communication pathway should give you an insight into what he enjoys doing, and you could join him instead of making plans of what you feel like doing with him.
report this ad90,000 husband does not want to do anything for the family
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9000
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captain sock
author, your husband is just a lazy H+O.
Normal men strive to earn money to improve the living conditions of the family, and yours is fine anyway. Set a condition, otherwise...
#9
Guest
Can't you buy a washing machine and a refrigerator yourself? What is your contribution to the family? My husband's apartment and food. From you?
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#13
Guest
I'm on maternity leave and I have good maternity pay, as a normal white salary.
Therefore, I buy everything for my son from them. I have a car that he drives, but I maintain it, because I repeat that he spends everything on beer. I made repairs in the bathroom with my own money, since everything was killed there. I'm not a scumbag, as they wrote above, but apparently a fool, because I'm warming all this. Sorry for the son, he just loves him. I can go to my mother, through a scandal, because she told me that she did not want to live with me. And I won’t pull it. The worst thing is that he has stopped washing lately, cutting his hair, out of clothes, too, like a bum. That is, it behaves like an animal.
#14
Guest
I am on maternity leave and I have good maternity pay, as a normal white salary. Therefore, I buy everything for my son from them. I have a car that he drives, but I maintain it, because I repeat that he spends everything on beer.
I made repairs in the bathroom with my own money, since everything was killed there. I'm not a scumbag, as they wrote above, but apparently a fool, because I'm warming all this. Sorry for the son, he just loves him. I can go to my mother, through a scandal, because she told me that she did not want to live with me. And I won’t pull it. The worst thing is that he has stopped washing lately, cutting his hair, out of clothes, too, like a bum. That is, it behaves like an animal.
#15
#16
5 Why is there no interest in anything? Have you thought? 11 January 2019 she recovered a little from her homeless past and realized that she deserves more, more food, a man with an apartment with better repairs!
#18
I'm a Taurus
Can't you re-paste the wallpaper? At the age of 15, I re-pasted the whole house at the parents, my mother was an apprentice.
No one is sacred to painters-plasterers. Learned .. looked closely ... at a neighbor like that .. asked and glued .. one room in 2 days, trampled in a day. You are just like your husband. 000000 he's drunk, and you're a fool. I do not believe that there are such worthless as the author. Sticking wallpaper is nonsense. You are sitting on the Internet, so look for videos on how to do it. Ask your husband what are his goals? Men from poor families go to work for Belaz and work .. And then .. they drink beer. Take it out and that's it. Tell me you won't strive, I don't like this kind of life. Suppose you accidentally fell in love like this. Get your ass up and set conditions for your husband. Otherwise, life pro.resh.
#19
Guest
I am on maternity leave and I have good maternity pay, as a normal white salary. Therefore, I buy everything for my son from them.
I have a car that he drives, but I maintain it, because I repeat that he spends everything on beer. I made repairs in the bathroom with my own money, since everything was killed there. I'm not a scumbag, as they wrote above, but apparently a fool, because I'm warming all this. Sorry for the son, he just loves him. I can go to my mother, through a scandal, because she told me that she did not want to live with me. And I won’t pull it. The worst thing is that he has stopped washing lately, cutting his hair, out of clothes, too, like a bum. That is, it behaves like an animal.
#20
#21
go to your mother. Are you registered there? say that you have the right to live there and live like neighbors, do not meddle with her and do not scandal.
If she squeals herself, tell me, who, in her old age, will bring water to her if not you? let him think about it
#22
Volchara
You are so burning))
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#23
Guest
Mom is very sick, and the son is very active.
He still has a year before kindergarten, but I want to give it to a private one so that my mother won’t get it if we do move. We have a two-room apartment. Yes, I see that he has degraded. It hurts me so much, I repeat that he was not like that, at first I loved him very much and for his care in the first place. I don't know what happened last year. Maybe it's alcohol that changes personality
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#25,0005
Guest
Mom is very ill, and the son is very active. He still has a year before kindergarten, but I want to give it to a private one so that my mother won’t get it if we do move. We have a two-room apartment. Yes, I see that he has degraded. It hurts me so much, I repeat that he was not like that, at first I loved him very much and for his care in the first place.
I don't know what happened last year. Maybe it's alcohol that changes personality
#26
Tata
I have been married for 7 years, I have a son. My relationship with my husband is complicated. He doesn’t call me names, he doesn’t beat me, but he very often takes offense at anything, and then he walks offended. Any word, look, but at least something ... At the same time, I’m not scandalous, I don’t demand anything from him (a fur coat, a car, parties, etc.). For example, he has an old phone, still a push-button one, and I bought him a new, good phone. So he stopped talking to me, didn't even say thank you. The phone is still there. And so it was almost always. Loneliness in the network ... I go to bed with the thought that I need to leave, and wake up with the same thought. (We sleep in different rooms), and I don’t want to change anything. Maybe someone will say that we need to talk.
.. But I don't want to... Maybe something will change for a month, and then everything will be as usual.
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Such a salary - I don't want to work. How to destroy?
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Husband left, 2 months of depression... How will you cope if you are left all alone?
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#30
Guest
By the way yes
KIS-KIS
I hope that this you can't be that dumb. RUN. It's better to try to get along with your mother than with a smelly bum. The son, while small, sees and absorbs all this, will he grow up the same, but with his favorite folder? Then the two of them will sit unwashed on the couch, demand beer while you wipe after them.
Do you like this future, do you wish this for your son and yourself?
#32
Tata
I have been married for 7 years, I have a son. My relationship with my husband is complicated. He doesn’t call me names, he doesn’t beat me, but he very often takes offense at anything, and then he walks offended. Any word, look, but at least something ... At the same time, I’m not scandalous, I don’t demand anything from him (a fur coat, a car, parties, etc.). For example, he has an old phone, still a push-button one, and I bought him a new, good phone. So he stopped talking to me, didn't even say thank you. The phone is still there.
And so it was almost always. Loneliness in the network ... I go to bed with the thought that I need to leave, and wake up with the same thought. (We sleep in different rooms), and I don’t want to change anything. Maybe someone will say that we need to talk.
.. But I don't want to... Maybe something will change for a month, and then everything will be as usual.
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Guest
He was not a sober, but he did at least something for me and bathed! He is a master of sports, he was a normal man. But now it's something0005
#35
Guest
Can't you buy a washing machine and a refrigerator yourself? What is your contribution to the family? My husband's apartment and food. From you?
#36
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Malepulation
9000 9000 11:10#37
Guest
This is either prolonged depression or some other mental illness.
Normal people don't behave like that. #38
Guest
Have you noticed any other oddities in his behavior?
#39
Guest
He was not a teetotaler, but at least he did something for me and washed himself! He is a master of sports, he was a normal man. But now it's something
#40
Guest
I thought about that too. He used to be more social or something. Even now he buys something tasty for me, toys for his son, but nothing more. I worked on the New Year and on holidays, I hoped that I would add what he earned plus, we would spend on something big for the house, we would repair the car.
I went away for a couple of days to my mother. During these two days he drank the money he earned during the holidays. Just everything! #41
Toothy
Taxi driver or what?? On the subject: author, you know perfectly well what to do. What for you smelly lazy rogue?!? January 11, 2019
At the age of 15, I re-pasted the whole house at the parents, my mother was an apprentice. No one is sacred to painters-plasterers.
I learned.. looked closely... at a neighbor like that.. asked and glued.. one room in 2 days, trampled in a day.
You are the same as your husband. 000000
he's drunk and you're a fool.
I do not believe that there are such useless people as the author.
Hanging wallpaper is nonsense.
You're sitting on the internet, so look for videos on how to do it.
Ask your husband what are his goals?
Men from impoverished families go to work for Belaz and work.
.
And here..drinking beer.
Take it out and that's it.
Tell me you won't strive, I don't like this kind of life.
Suppose you accidentally fell in love like this. Get your ass up and set conditions for your husband.
Otherwise, life is about to die.#43
Guest
He is a taxi driver, you are right. But when we started dating, in terms of his human qualities, he would have given odds to men in more prestigious professions. I paid for the apartment, I received gifts, I received care and attention. Twice he went to work in the office by profession, but it turned out less than he worked in a taxi. He worked every day. Then everything went downhill. That's why I'm holding on to him. It seems that the person is the same, but the actions are no longer the same.
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Guest
Author with a car, good work - but it cannot pull it.
Nowhere to live, but the child in a private children. wants to give the garden. In general, wavka in the head. or star about his good work. January 11, 2019 And deadlines. #47
Guest
He is a taxi driver, you are right. But when we started dating, in terms of his human qualities, he would have given odds to men in more prestigious professions. I paid for the apartment, I received gifts, I received care and attention. Twice he went to work in the office by profession, but it turned out less than he worked in a taxi. He worked every day. Then everything went downhill. That's why I'm holding on to him. It seems that the person is the same, but the actions are no longer the same.
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9000Mom is very sick, and the son is very active.
He still has a year before kindergarten, but I want to give it to a private one so that my mother won’t get it if we do move. We have a two-room apartment. Yes, I see that he has degraded. It hurts me so much, I repeat that he was not like that, at first I loved him very much and for his care in the first place. I don't know what happened last year. Maybe it's alcohol that changes personality Tired of her husband doing nothing at home.
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9000 #3 9000 and that the masters can not call? I myself can’t do anything either, but I won’t let a woman do it in the house#5
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9000#8 #8
Guest
why do you punch holes for dowels with a perforator? for this, an ordinary drill is enough
#9
guest
it's the day off, he's lying on the couch, come up and say "Vasya, please do this and that" he says "ok, I will do.
" stand by and wait. if he says "later / later" ask when exactly and constantly press that he PROMISED #10
Guest
Yes, there are such trifles 9 besides the big renovation of the bath and toilet, in the non-repair of which, it turns out, I am also to blame - I did not choose the tile, although there also throw tiles over pipes, and level the walls, and knock down the old one from the floor) - like making a broken big cat scratching post, inserting cable channels into the baseboards, putting an additional shelf in the pantry, etc., I don’t even know which offices to contact , and how much money will come out, otherwise we’re not chic now, my husband is studying, I’m with a child, and I don’t have this habit of contacting masters - since childhood, dad did almost everything at home himself, and I helped, cosmetic repairs were always done by ourselves , for example.
#11
Guest
So ask your dad to help, let your son-in-law come and teach, otherwise he can and is happy to do it, but he doesn’t know how.
And then there are reproaches that there is not enough sex - and what the fuck is sex, when I mentally get tired of cleaning up after my child, and also after my husband, and also expect that he won't like it this time. I feel like a mother to both of them, that I repeat clearly and legibly ten times to one, that to the second. And then the child understands earlier and reacts more adequately.
#12
#13,0005
Guest
Your father raised you as a boy, so you are a man in the house.
Tell your husband that if he can’t, let him call the master, let him do it
SCORE. Once I was nervous - I frayed all my nerves, acquired a bunch of sores on nervous grounds. Then I listened to people close to me who advised me not to ruffle my nerves and perceive it as an empty place. But he still does something at home (at my request, he doesn’t see anything around at all), but this is far, far from all that needs to be done. So he also considers himself a hero .. here is such an anecdote. He lived until the age of 40 as a bachelor, there were young ladies who wanted to get married and spoiled him. For example, he never cleaned the house at all. And now he vacuums every 2-3 months and considers himself a hero.
He calls me an ensign who likes to give out assignments. This is despite the fact that I do almost all the work around the house, and after that I am also an ensign. #19
#20
What kind of master are you,
He "will do everything, but not now, nothing urgent." To a clear question, what did he do at home over the past week or month (since he says that he does everything) - merges, switches arrows, etc. He starts to run into me with the same question - well, even without writing down, I can say that every day I cook at least my dishes, wash a couple of times a week, clean toys, wash floors, clean the cat litter box, walk with the child, buy groceries. After this enumeration, I repeat the question of what he is doing - it starts again about the fact that such a period is now, he needs to devote more time to study (he changes the field of activity), then I already ask - and where should I go with the child, not live at this time ? Even when it begins "and if I flew in that plane that crashed, would you even regret it?" - I just get hands down from such manipulations.
And me, b ..., who would regret it, I wonder? Well, yes, he would certainly take pity on me - so I don’t need pity, and don’t snot about love-tram-buy, I need a husband, not a neighbor. #21
#22
I can do everything, I will do everything, only not now, but tomorrow - and so on for years. And then the wife is to blame - washed down.
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#23
#24
Repair is not a constant, sometimes you need to do something at home, change, finish it.
#25
#26
and this is before the eyes of two examples of their family, how to live with a horseradish such a man, pitying them (in words) - and not realizing that everything is exactly the same.
I'm not going to adopt the practice of their family, when the wife's parents perform his functions for an armless husband - I'm not going to, it's completely shameless. True Stories
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#28
#29
9000 Men don’t need anything, comfort and everything connected with it, women do for themselves, and it’s “okay” for them, not all of them, but the majority. You don’t ask correctly, you don’t have to stand, demand and press, you need affection, with humor, say jokingly, karoch, don’t do it if you like, I don’t want to cook either, we’ll be lazy together, more lightness, jokes and affection.
And you don’t have to do anything yourself, by doing this you close the female chakras in yourself, in communication with your husband it is fraught with subsequent problems. I also know how to do everything, but I won’t even change the light bulb myself, it comes from work, I told him - my love has come, I waited, the burned-out light bulb is still waiting for you. Will you replace the light bulb, my shiva is multi-armed?)) Everything is somehow easy with us and I bring this lightness, if it sometimes rests, I will get it, but there is no seriousness at the same time, so there is no feeling of pilling. #31
Bay
What to finish when everything is completed?)
9000 #32I think you are overly concerned. And you worry too much.
And in general, a woman should not know the words dowel or perforator. If her husband does not like cooking, offer to cook what you like yourself. It healed me a lot. ))) And in general, be calmer. #33
Guest but most. You don’t ask correctly, you don’t have to stand, demand and press, you need affection, with humor, say jokingly, karoch, don’t do it if you like, I don’t want to cook either, we’ll be lazy together, more lightness, jokes and affection. And you don’t have to do anything yourself, by doing this you close the female chakras in yourself, in communication with your husband it is fraught with subsequent problems. I also know how to do everything, but I won’t even change the light bulb myself, it comes from work, I told him - my love has come, I waited, the burned-out light bulb is still waiting for you. Will you replace the light bulb, my shiva is multi-armed?)) Everything is somehow easy with us and I bring this lightness, if it sometimes rests, I will get it, but there is no seriousness at the same time, so there is no feeling of pilling.
#34
Guest
A normal man should have given money for a master a long time ago, so that his wife would solve the problem and fall behind. And if you can’t earn money, then do it yourself. And yours - neither this can, nor this. What kind of a man is this anyway?
#35
Author
Well, for example, hang another shelf (there was a need). Or out in the pantry, it seemed to me convenient to attach hooks for bags to the wall.
#36
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- 9000
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#37
9000turned out to need to change.
I took a picture on the phone, drew a diagram, my husband and I went to the magician, bought all the knees, etc. We arrived, I changed into a "working suit", tied a bandana, rubber boots (my husband's eyes got on his forehead), put on electrician's gloves, took the key , hammer, saw and retired to the bathroom. She stirred, poured water, threw on some rags, rubbed herself a little, and then from under the bath: MIIIYYY!! Help!! He came and did everything, listing my bad luck. You have to be smarter))=======================And without this circus, wouldn’t you do it?? I should have said, "Are we going to do it before dinner or after dinner?" #39
Needles
No. Until the neighbors come, he won't do it. He says that his hands are growing from the wrong place, they say, call a plumber. And why, if I know what he can do. If you ask for help, the husband is drawn in and does everything.
But to himself, for nothing. Then he jokes: they were electricians, plumbers too, now who? Tilers? Yes, and when I praise him: without you, I would not have coped, you are such a good fellow with me. He spreads his wings. Why not pleasant? #40
Guest
but I don't like this style of behavior. your husband then yours to get dinner is unlikely so approaches will be looking for you. sit down and demand. and you're fawning over a light bulb.
#41
Guest
your dad is to blame for everything, a feminist, he ruined a normal girl, what on ***** hooks, shelves, what can't you sit still?
#42
#43
Guest
90 had to be changed.
I took a picture on the phone, drew a diagram, my husband and I went to the magician, bought all the knees, etc. We arrived, I changed into a "working suit", tied a bandana, rubber boots (my husband's eyes got on his forehead), put on electrician's gloves, took the key , hammer, saw and retired to the bathroom. She stirred, poured water, threw on some rags, rubbed herself a little, and then from under the bath: MIIIYYY!! Help!! He came and did everything, listing my bad luck. You have to be smarter))=======================And without this circus, wouldn’t you do it?? I should have said, "Are we going to do it before dinner or after dinner?" #44
Author
Well, I CAN'T afford this. The light bulb in the toilet will burn out - the child will not go there, he is afraid of the dark, if you don’t want it, you can change it. As for cooking, he doesn’t worry if I don’t cook, he wears money in fast food.
#45
Guest
Married for 4 years, we live together a little longer, have a child for 2 years. They did repairs at home from scratch practically, after its completion (that is, conditional, a toilet with a bathroom remained with social repairs) - very badly with help from her husband. I’m generally silent about cooking and cleaning, I can hang the light bulbs myself, I also know how to use a screwdriver, but I can’t do more global things like punching holes under the dowels with a puncher (in order to outweigh the shelves). There is a whole list of "defects" hanging on the refrigerator. And nothing is being done. I ask several times in a good way (with long breaks up to several months), then not so “in a good way”, after that a scandal that I peck my brain and ask not so. I can’t do anything at home myself, I need to cook at least for myself and the child, and clean up too, so as not to breathe dust.
The husband reproaches that I cook "not right". All the time we live together, I ask you to say in Russian what to cook, and not in fact turn your nose that “it’s not right” - it can’t, he says that I should offer options, and he will choose from them. Tired already... #46
Guest
there is nothing to do. the husband gives money for plumbing, and she breeds amateur performances. It would be better to watch a movie together.
#47
Ani
Well, not everyone is given to be able to do everything. Learn to use paid services. Well, he has no plumbing talents
#48
Guest
author, you are just a kluch, even reluctant to comment on why.
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