How to know if you need a therapist
10 Signs You Might Need A Therapist – Georgia HOPE
10 Signs That You Might Need a Therapist
You’ve hit the wall. A tragedy has occurred. Nothing is going right.
“Pick the kids up from school. Keep it together for them.”
You vent to your spouse. They take your pain personally and feel defeated in helping relieve it. Now you feel guilty for burdening them.
The to-do list keeps getting longer and your energy is already depleted.
“Ah, sweet coffee…”
You call your friend. All she does is compare your suffering to hers – like it’s a competition. Now you feel invalidated.
“I’ll just have one more glass of wine…”
You decide to just veg out and watch some Netflix. Instead, painful memories and intrusive negative thoughts begin to creep in. Now your mind is more frightening and confusing as the last season of Stranger Things.
“CAN I JUST GET A BREAK?!”
Sound familiar? Many of us are walking around with unsurmountable suffering that no one can see.
- Childhood trauma.
- Broken families.
- Crippling debt.
- Workplace drama.
We try our best to hide this from the world. But instead, our pain begins to manifest into emotional outbursts, strained relationships, physical illness, etc. How do we begin to heal? How can we change the never-ending cycle of chaos?
Therapy is the first line of treatment in getting un-stuck. Whether you are going through a major life transition, feeling down, having relationship trouble, experiencing anxiety, or problematic usage of substances – therapy can help.
A survey released in May of 2004, “Therapy in America 2004,” and co-sponsored by Psychology Today magazine and PacifiCare Behavioral Health, found that an estimated 59 million people have received mental health treatment in the past two years, and that 80 percent of them have found it effective.
So, here are some signs that you should consider therapy…
- Your eating and sleeping habits have changed. Either you’re getting too much or not enough of either. Either can be detrimental.
- You no longer enjoy the things that you used to. Maybe you aren’t so zen in yoga class anymore and start skipping them. Or Sunday tee-time just isn’t giving you the joy it did before.
- Your emotions are turned up to 12! Find yourself crying in the bathroom at work (more than usual)? Or instead of just murmuring curse words at the driver who cut you off, you actually try to start a fight with them.
- Social situations are a no go. You don’t want your friends to stop inviting you to get-togethers, but every RSVP is left unchecked.
- Unhealthy habits are becoming problematic. We automatically think of drinking and drug use when this comes up. But this could also involve excessive shopping, excessive dieting, risky behaviors, etc.
- Your relationships aren’t being nurtured. Arguments with your spouse. Snapping at your children. Ignoring your friend’s phone calls and texts.
- Something horrible happened. You’ve experienced a trauma that has shaken you to your core. Trauma isn’t just for combat soldiers. A car accident, affair, loss of a loved one, or anything you feel is traumatic – is trauma.
- You’re unsure of who you are. Understanding ourselves better can help us break maladaptive patterns of behavior or allow us to give ourselves more grace.
- Your support network is diminished or nonexistent. Everyone needs someone to talk to and process with. Therapy is a great place to receive the validation and support that you deserve.
- Nothing else has helped. You’ve tried exercising. You’ve tried meditation. You even tried reading that crazy self-help book your Aunt recommended. But, nothing seems to give you relief.
If any or all of these are ringing a bell, then you should consider finding a therapist.
Georgia HOPE offers in-home and online therapy for a multitude of presenting problems including:
- Depression & other Mood Disorders
- Relationship Troubles
- Substance Use
- Eating Disorders
- And more!
Do I Need Therapy? 14 Signs and How to Find a Therapist
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Psychotherapy (also sometimes called talk therapy) can be an effective way to treat mental illness or improve your mental health. But is there a way to know if you need therapy or if therapy would even help with what you’re going through? Spoiler: Yup!
Here’s how to know if you need therapy, plus some advice for finding the right therapist for you.
If you have a diagnosed (or suspected) mental health condition like anxiety or depression, your physician might have already recommended therapy as a way to manage symptoms. But therapy can be a good option even if you don’t have a diagnosed mental health condition.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, people seek out therapy for major life stressors (like a tough job, the loss of a loved one, or relationship issues) or symptoms that can’t be explained by some other condition (like low energy, irritability, or changes in sleep or appetite).
Some forms of therapy can also help you address things like financial stress and low self-esteem.
But at what point does stress, grief, or low energy warrant regular sessions with a licensed mental health professional?
The American Psychological Association suggests that it might be time to seek therapy if you have one or more issues causing you distress and it’s interfering with your daily life.
People with untreated mental health conditions have a higher risk of:
- having trouble keeping relationships
- finding it difficult to care for yourself or others
- having a tough time at work or school
- experiencing an increase in health issues and/or hospitalization
Remember: Going to therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken
Therapy can help you deal with whatever you’re going through to improve your well-being and healthy way of life.
If you have a broken leg, you don’t ignore it or put off a visit to the doctor for help. It’s not a bad idea to treat mental and emotional health issues similarly.
1. You’re super overwhelmed
We all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed with too many tasks at school or work — it’s stressful.
And whether there’s a clear reason you’re super overwhelmed (read: having way too much on your plate) or not, long-term stress can impact your health negatively — so it’s important to find a way to manage it.
People who are stressed have a harder time concentrating, feel more fatigued, and have short-term memory issues. But it can cause issues in the long run too, like accelerated cognitive decline.
Therapy can help you address many different causes of stress and feeling overwhelmed like anxiety, trauma, and relationship issues.
2. You’re sleeping too much or too little
Sleep and mental health go hand-in-hand.
If you have mental health problems, it might be harder to get good sleep. And if you don’t get good sleep, you’re more likely to experience mental health problems. Ugh, whyyyy.
Sleep problems are especially common in people experiencing anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and ADHD. Therapy can help you better manage symptoms of mental health conditions that are interfering with your sleep.
But again, you don’t need to have a diagnosed mental health condition for poor sleep to have a negative effect on your mental health. One 2018 research review showed that sleep deprivation can lead to mood swings and leave you more emotionally vulnerable.
Some types of therapy can help you improve your sleep hygiene, give you tools to sleep better in general, and help you manage the effects of not getting enough Zzz’s.
3. You’re avoiding being social or can’t keep relationships
If you find yourself withdrawing from friends, isolating yourself, and distancing yourself from your partner(s), there might be an underlying reason. Stress, trouble sleeping, and anxiety can all play a role.
Like stress and poor sleep, there are potential consequences of social isolation. People who isolate themselves socially are more likely to develop certain health problems (like depression and chronic pain), be less active, and eat less nutritious diets.
Therapy can help you manage any mental health conditions that are getting in the way of social interaction. It can also help you deal with any social anxiety you might be having.
4. Your anxious thoughts consume you
Many people experience the feeling of worrying — it’s hard to convince your brain to quit.
But if it reaches a point where your thoughts are taking over and interfering with your day-to-day life, you might be experiencing intrusive thoughts.
People with certain mental health conditions (like PTSD and OCD) are more likely to have intrusive thoughts. But anyone can experience them.
Research shows that therapy can help people learn how to handle distressing thoughts and take back control of their life.
5. You can’t control your emotions
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, being unable to control your emotions is a major symptom in people with mood or anxiety disorders.
Reminder: Being an emotional person doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t control your emotions. But if your emotions are getting in the way of your daily life, therapy might help you gain more control over how you feel. In fact, research shows that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be an effective way to learn how to better manage your emotions.
6.You don’t care about anything
People with clinical depression often lose interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Losing interest in the things you enjoy can make it harder to find relief from stress or maintain some relationships.
Research has found that psychotherapy is an effective way to treat depression. It also found that therapy has longer-lasting effects than drugs (like SSRIs) and that most people prefer therapy to drugs.
7. You feel hopeless
Feeling hopeless is a very common symptom of depression. In fact, people who feel hopeless are more likely to be clinically diagnosed with depression.
If you think you have depression, it’s important to seek care as soon as you can. If left untreated, depression can lead to suicidal thoughts and ideation and self-harm. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide was the second leading cause of death among people ages 10 to 34 from 2011 to 2020.
Help is available
If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text “HOME” to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
- Ask someone to stay with you until help arrives.
- Remove any weapons or substances that may cause harm.
- Only call 911 if you think someone is in immediate danger and you are unable to reach them. Calling 911 should be used with caution.
8. You’re having problems at work
Having a hard time at work can cause mental health problems or make existing mental health problems worse. In fact, a 2010 research review found that mental health problems are often a reason employees take sick leave, drop out of work, or leave a job.
If you notice that it’s harder to concentrate on your work, receive unusual feedback about your performance, or feel burnt out, therapy might be a solid step to take. It can help you address work stress, anxiety, depression, and other factors impacting your mental health and make heading to the office (or your WFH setup) much less miserable.
9. You’re eating more or less than usual
Change in appetite is common in some mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety. While some people lose their appetite, others find themselves overeating. Managing symptoms of depression and anxiety with therapy can help regulate your appetite.
It’s also possible that your eating habit changes are a sign of something more. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, if you’ve had severe disturbances in your eating behavior and your thoughts and emotions around food or your body, you could have an eating disorder like anorexia nervosa or bulimia.
Therapy is often the first line of defense for treating eating disorders and can be an effective way to recover.
10. You’ve experienced a recent trauma
Traumatic events can trigger post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can include symptoms like flashbacks, emotional numbness, sleep troubles, and irritation.
Some peeps might think that PTSD only occurs in people who’ve served in the military, but it can happen to anyone. Examples of traumatic events include accidents, natural disasters, and physical or sexual assault.
Research found that trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy can effectively treat acute and chronic PTSD.
11. You’re grieving
Grief can be difficult to live with and can cause an explosion of emotions. If it’s getting to the point where you’re not feeling any better after a long time, or it’s interfering with your daily life, it may be time to seek help. Therapy can help you talk through and process grief, so you can learn to live with what you’ve lost.
12. You’re using substances as a way to cope
Whether you have a diagnosed mental health condition (like depression) or are experiencing a lot of stress, it’s possible you’ve turned to substance use as a way to cope with what you’re going through.
And while it might feel good in the moment, substance use is likely to make you feel worse.
Therapy can help you address any mental health conditions, stress, or deeper-rooted substance use concerns.
13. You’re engaging in secretive behavior
Keeping to yourself isn’t always a bad thing, but regularly hiding your actions or thoughts from others isn’t healthy.
“Having a sense of self that is separate from the other people in our lives is normal, and even healthy,” says Heather Z. Lyons, PhD, a psychologist based in Maryland. “Sometimes, though, the parts of self that we keep to ourselves grow larger and larger. This can signal that a sense of shame or unproductive ways of coping are developing,” she says.
Lyons says that therapy can offer a judgment-free space to discuss any behaviors or thoughts that might feel more shameful.
14. You’re ready for a big change or transition
If you feel like you’re about to undergo a major change, it might be time to seek support.
“Transitions are a normal part of life,” Lyons says. “However, transitions also require the development of new skills and perspectives. Therapy can help support those changes.”
Understandably, sometimes we have a tough time summoning the courage to make the changes we need, she says. But, “therapy can help us identify the potential benefits to transitions,” so we can “gain the motivation we need to follow through.”
There are many benefits to seeing a therapist so you can work through anything that is negatively impacting your mental health.
Therapy is 100 percent confidential. Confidentiality is only broken if there’s a serious danger to yourself or others. You can talk about things that perhaps you’re too scared to talk about with anyone else. There’s no judgment.
If you’ve been coping on your own for some time, it can be a huge relief to get everything off of your chest with someone who can provide evidence-backed tools to help you. It’s comforting to know there’s someone listening: a therapist who wants to help.
Healthy coping mechanisms
Being able to cope and deal with things in a healthy and constructive manner is important for having a happy and successful life. We all face challenges and therapy can help you learn how to deal with them in a positive way.
Overcoming past trauma is not an easy thing to do, but it’s something you can safely do with a licensed therapist or psychiatrist.
Therapy can help you keep your relationships on track and understand the importance of them. It will also help you look at whether you’re in healthy relationships and learn how to establish boundaries. Therapy can also help you develop insight, change negative thinking patterns, and feel less alone.
What if therapy didn’t work before?
If you’re hesitant to try again, you’re not alone. Not everyone enjoys therapy or finds it beneficial, but this is often because you haven’t found the right therapist or form of therapy.
It’s so important to have a good connection and established trust with your therapist, as well as an informed understanding of what type of therapy will be the most beneficial for the issues you’re facing.
If you’re ready to give it another go, you don’t have to attend multiple sessions. Instead, you can ask for consultations to get a feel for the therapist before committing to anything.
Remember that there are plenty of therapists out there, and you don’t have to settle. The match between the therapist and client is extremely important, and it’s OK to shop around until you find a therapist that works for you.
Looking for the perfect therapist can be tricky, especially with so many out there. But these steps might help simplify your search:
Step 1: Figure out what you want out of therapy
For instance, if you have a diagnosed mental health condition, look for a therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in that condition. If you’re going through issues with your partner, consider couples therapy.
If you’re a Person of Color, part of the LGBTQIA+ community, or have a disability, you might feel that it’s important to match with someone who’s either a member of your community or who specializes in issues relevant to your experience.
Pro tip: We’ve compiled a big list of directories that can help connect you with a therapist that’s right for you.
Step 2: Decide what type of therapist you want to see
What if you’re going to therapy to become less overwhelmed … but deciding what type of therapy is making you even *more* overwhelmed? We got you.
There are lots of options out there. According to the American Psychiatric Association, these are the different approaches therapists take:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT aims to identify and change negative thinking patterns so you can live a healthier, more fulfilling life. It’s often recommended for those with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and trauma-related disorders.
- Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). A form of CBT that helps peeps learn how to regulate emotions. It’s typically used to treat people with suicidal thoughts, borderline personality disorder, and PTSD. You’ll participate in individual and group sessions to learn how to change negative behaviors.
- Interpersonal therapy (IPT). Most often used to treat depression, IPT is usually a short-term therapy that helps folks address interpersonal issues (like grief, relationship problems, and life changes).
- Psychodynamic therapy and psychoanalysis. These types of therapy focus on improving self-awareness to change unconscious thoughts or feelings that are negatively impacting your life. They also focus on childhood experiences that might still influence you today.
- Supportive therapy. This type helps you develop resources to address issues related to a mental health condition. It can be used to build self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Psychiatry is also an important part of many treatment plans — especially for certain mental health conditions like bipolar disorder. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication and work closely with you to assess how you’re feeling. Some psychiatrists might offer talk therapy services too.
Step 3: Pick between online and in-person
These days, there’s no right way to do therapy. Deciding whether online or in-person therapy works best for you will help narrow down your options. Are there therapists within walking, driving, or transiting distance from where you live? Are you comfortable video chatting?
Keep in mind that some therapists might offer a combo of both if that sounds like your thing.
Step 4: Figure out whether you have insurance coverage
If you have insurance that covers mental health services, you’ll want to research therapists that specifically accept insurance and accept your insurance in particular. (Unless you want to pay out of pocket.)
You should also check with your insurance provider to see if there’s a cap on how many visits they’ll cover each month or year. If you don’t have insurance, ask your therapist about sliding scale options or other types of financial assistance.
Places like the Open Path Psychotherapy Collective have compiled a list of therapists who charge sliding scale rates (aka therapists whose rates are dependent on your income).
Step 5: Research your options
After you’ve narrowed down options that jibe with your financial and personal needs, you know the drill: It’s time to research.
Pretty much everything has a rating and reviews online these days, and therapists are no exception. Word of mouth is still a pretty good tool for finding the one, though! So, don’t hesitate to ask your BFF.
While visiting the same therapist as someone you know isn’t always recommended, advice from loved ones can be a useful way to find practices or apps that you’ll like.
Step 6: Ask for a consultation without commitment
Why not try before you buy? Consider asking for a consultation, which will let you connect with a professional before committing to any ongoing seshes. That way, you can see who truly connect with.
You can also look for teletherapy services that offer free trials. When it comes to therapy, you definitely want to go to someone you feel comfortable around, and this can take a little trial and error.
The rise of teletherapy is helping to break down some barriers to mental health care access. If you’re considering taking care of your mental health digitally, we scoped out the best online therapy services out there so you don’t have to.
How we chose
If it seems like there are jillions of therapy apps out there — well, there really are a lot. We narrowed them down by prioritizing:
- Company reputation. Do users love it? What about watchdogs? We dug up the deets so you have a better idea of what to expect in terms of things like privacy and accessibility.
- Industry and ethical standards. Does the company live up to its claims? We tried to find out.
- Medical accuracy and integrity. Is it HIPAA certified? Are the therapists licensed and vetted? Do they offer medical services? We singled out services that deliver.
- Vetted. We put all of these services through a thorough vetting process that checks for unsupported health claims and shady business practices. Only services that passed that process are included below.
1. Best for text-based therapy: Talkspace
- Price: $69–$129/weekly, billed monthly
- Insurance coverage: accepts some insurance, some may pay in full
- Platforms: video, audio, and texting
- Pros: daily responses, HIPAA complaint
- Cons: no medical advisory board, you don’t get as many therapist options
Talkspace is a big name in the online therapy biz. It’s especially helpful for those who feel best when their therapist is just a text away. After you sign up, you fill out an assessment and choose from multiple subscriptions of varying prices based on your needs. Then, you’ll get your pick from a few therapists.
If you have an employee assistance program (EAP) with behavioral health benefits, you might qualify for coverage.
Don’t always have time for a full therapy sesh? Users like that you can always text through your probs. Especially for those who are video shy or newer to therapy, this can also be a more comfy foray into a more intimate conversation. You don’t get your pick from as many therapists as other apps, though, which some reviewers don’t love.
Get started at Talkspace
2. Best for relationship concerns: ReGain
- Price: $60–$90/weekly for both partners
- Insurance coverage: no
- Platforms: chat, messaging, phone, video
- Pros: professionals specialize in relationships, 1-week free trial, your partner can participate at no additional fee
- Cons: doesn’t support 3-way sessions, doesn’t work for court-ordered counseling
Issues with your partner in particular? From psychologists to marriage and family counselors, all therapists on ReGain are specifically trained in dealing with relationship issues.
You and your partner will share an account and go to live seshes with the therapist together. Need some alone time with the pro? No problem — you can schedule a private and confidential individual session.
However, the app doesn’t support three-way live sessions yet, so you’ll need to be in the same room as your partner to talk with the therapist. Naturally, lots of reviewers don’t love this, since long-distance relationships, etc., are a thing.
Another downside is that most services on ReGain aren’t covered by health insurance. Big, pro though: There’s a 1-week free trial.
Get started at ReGain
3. Best for online psychiatry: MDLive
- Price: $284 for first visit, $108 for each follow up
- Insurance coverage: yes, if your insurance covers mental health services
- Platforms: phone, video
- Pros: 24/7 unlimited access to a doc, savings of 85% on prescriptions, HIPAA compliant
- Cons: no subscription plans, higher cost to see a psych than other services, doesn’t offer email or chat
MD Live offers teletherapy and telemedicine services. You can set up your first session within a couple of days. Each session is highly secured with an encryption method to ensure your privacy. This is a great option for those who need prescription medication in combo with psychiatric services.
The major con for many is that the platform doesn’t offer messaging, email, or chat services. Also, if you can’t find coverage through insurance, it’s pretty dang pricey. Reviewers also don’t like that there’s no monthly subscription plan option.
Get started at MDLive
4. Best for LGBTQ: Pride Counseling
- Price: $60–$90 a week
- Insurance coverage: generally not covered
- Platforms: chat, messaging, phone, video
- Pros: the app and site are user-friendly, LGBTQ friendly
- Cons: not available to minors, your counselor can’t provide a diagnosis or medication
If you’re part of the LGBTQ community and are looking for a therapist who truly gets you, Pride Counseling is worth a shot. All counselors are informed about LGBTQ issues and specialize in areas like anxiety, stress, depression, trauma, and family conflicts.
It’s a bummer that these services aren’t generally covered by health insurance, because users seem to love it. In addition to the chat feature, you have the option of rereading your messages with your counselor later, which is an unexpected perk for many reviewers.
Another downside is that counselors can’t provide a letter of support for hormone replacement therapy for clients.
Get started at Pride Counseling
5. Easiest to use: BetterHelp
- Price: $60–$90/week, billed monthly
- Insurance coverage: doesn’t accept insurance, but does offer financial assistance for those who qualify
- Platforms: audio, chat, messaging, video
- Pros: huge network, convenience and ease of use, HIPAA compliant
- Cons: shares data with social media companies, clinician vetting process could be better
BetterHelp is one of the most popular online therapy players maybe because of its huge provider network, decent pricing, and financial assistance plans for those who need it. When you sign up, you’ll take a questionnaire designed to match you with your perfect clinician. If you still feel like they’re not a good fit, you can choose from thousands of others.
The service offers all types of counseling, from individuals to couples’. Users say the app is intuitive and user-friendly and makes it easy to switch between therapists or cancel last min without penalty. They also love that you can talk with your therapist even outside of your sesh through the messaging feature.
Keep in mind that Jezebel reported in 2020 that BetterHelp shares personal data with social media companies. While def not a new thing in the world of anything app-related, it’s not ideal — even if it is legal.
Get started at BetterHelp
What are the signs you need therapy?
Since therapy is truly for everyone, if you think you might benefit from it — it’s probably for you. But in general, some signs to look for include:
- feeling overwhelmed
- sleeping a lot or a little
- avoiding social sitches
- feeling hopeless, anxious, or out of control
- having problems at work or school
- eating more or less than usual
- grieving or have experienced trauma
- using substances to cope
- engaging in secretive behavior
- ready for a big change or transition
Is therapy really necessary?
Sometimes it’s necessary for court-ordered purposes — other times, it’s up to you to decide whether it’s a necessary step in your life. It’s worth noting that in a 2016 research review, scientists concluded that those who did a self-guided CBT program benefitted just as much as those who saw a therapist for CBT.
Ultimately, what works best for you might depend on your unique needs. Other things like mindfulness, meditation, and healthy lifestyle changes might also help you out. But if you think you’re more likely to commit to a therapist than self-help, go with the pro.
Should I go to therapy if I don’t need it?
You don’t need any specific reason or circumstance to go to therapy, so by all means, try it!
Who knows — if you’re thinking about therapy, maybe there’s a reason you really do need it that you haven’t uncovered yet. If you go in with an open mind, there’s most likely something you can gain from the experience.
Can I treat myself without therapy?
If you’re committed to self-help, there’s some evidence to suggest that you can improve your circumstances on your own — at least, that is, with help of a CBT program.
In a 2016 research review, scientists determined that they found no difference in outcomes between those who did a self-guided CBT program and those who saw a therapist for CBT. Either way, you’ll have to put in the work. Scientists noted that roughly the same amount of people dropped out of therapy as they did the self-help program.
If you’re having a hard time getting through day-to-day life, though, it’s a good idea to turn to a therapist. At the very least, reach out to people you trust and go from there. Let’s be real, many serious issues in life are easier to get through with a little help from our friends (or our therapist)!
Therapy can be beneficial for anyone, regardless of whether you have a diagnosed mental health condition or not. It can especially help people experiencing grief, trauma, relationship issues, confidence issues, and emotional instability.
It’s important to remember that therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. It can include some trial and error.
A good connection with a therapist is as important as seeking out the appropriate therapy for you. And you shouldn’t let one negative experience with a therapist put a stop to your search for help.
How to understand that it's time to go to a psychotherapist? – Blog – Yasno
The very posing of the question, the very fact of its origin inside you, suggests that a psychotherapist is most likely needed. We all carry unlived conflicts, and when they escalate, we begin to experience a vague excitement, expressed, among other things, in such matters.
However, this is philosophy. If you take it out of the brackets, then you can highlight several very specific signs that will help you understand that the help of a psychotherapist at least will not hurt.
We note right away that we are not talking about clinical cases - people diagnosed with depression or some kind of disorder - but about urban neurotics praised by Woody Allen, about those who seem to be
everything is fine , but still
something is bothering .
1. Constant feeling of guilt
Imagine a simple situation - your boss calls you. You don’t know why and on what issue, but everything shrinks inside you, and you begin to convulsively think about what exactly you were guilty of.
Or, let's say, you sort things out with your partner, but immediately get lost, because in just two or three sentences he convinces you that your position has no right to exist and that it is you who are to blame for everything (again) .
If these situations are familiar to you, then a psychotherapist can be very helpful, because it means that you have a strong sense of guilt and inadequacy inside you.
Agree, it would be interesting to figure out where you got it from.
2. Feeling that you are doing the wrong thing
...And also that your partner is not like that, the job is not the same, the apartment is somehow not like that, and that in general you live in someone else's, rented life.
All this is a symptom of a situation as old as the world, in which parents put a lot of their expectations on the child, and then he feels obliged to fulfill them.
These expectations are so deeply ingrained that they become part of the personality, and a person cannot always understand for what reasons he works as a lawyer, despite the fact that he has had a strong inclination towards graphic design all his life.
3. Constant procrastination
This has been talked about a lot over the past few years, but no one has said the most important thing: procrastination is not a problem, but a symptom of it. This is not a flu virus that you can catch on public transport and then recover from it, but some kind of permanent condition caused by a malfunction in the mental structure. Making to-do lists, time management, or simple willpower will not help here. Procrastination means that you either do not see the point in what you are doing (see the previous paragraph), or carry a prohibition on successful activities.
But what does a ban mean?
I believe you know that there is a special and very strong bond between parents and children. I also believe that you understand that breaking this connection can be very painful for them. Remember when your mother told you when you were a child
don't go too far or
put it down, it's too hard or
it's too hard for you ?
This was caused not only by the desire to ensure your safety, but also by the fear of allowing you to be independent, to let go of yourself, to lose you forever. This fear is placed in you and leads to the fact that any action that can lead to separation from parents (read: any manifestation of independence) is perceived as something undesirable or even dangerous. And when you once again sit down for a marketing plan or are about to get a car license, that same cry is heard in your unconscious -
don't go too far .
4. Feelings of anxiety and fear
Let's put aside the extreme cases expressed in panic attacks (we definitely need a psychotherapist) and focus on ordinary anxiety. For example, before an important meeting. Or before a date. Or before going to a party. It would seem - what is it, well, I'm worried, yes. I can not connect two words in a conversation with a stranger. Well, I'm just shy, it's even cute to some extent.
All this is true. However, try asking yourself a simple question. What exactly is causing you anxiety? Perhaps you are afraid of not being as cool as you would like? And why is it important to you to be cool - so important that your hands are shaking? And why does this desire haunt you always and everywhere? Why has it become a part of your life?
And with a psychotherapist, you will find out.
5. Relationship problems
You fall in love, but lose interest as soon as you realize that the feelings are mutual. You tend to choose emotionally unavailable partners. Your sympathies are always directed towards those who are already in a relationship. It seems to you that if you fell in love, then there should be no secrets, boundaries between you and the object of love, and that, in general, you should immediately merge into one radiant whole and then live happily and forever.
There may be many options, but the meaning is always the same - an unresolved childhood conflict that you are trying to reproduce in adulthood. If the boy had an emotionally unavailable mother, then he will choose the same women - and if by a happy mistake he happens to meet someone who will be ready to love him truly, he will run away from her in two weeks, because he has absolutely no experience of life in love and emotional connection.
If a girl grew up in a family from which her father left, then relationships with men can be associated with pain and rejection for her, and in order to insure herself against them, she will choose only those men who are initially incapable of them - married, immature or foreigners. (Note: this formulation seemed to many readers too general, unnatural and, in general, unfair. We would like to stipulate that everything that has been said is not the rule of life, but is one of the possible examples of the work of the unconscious, which does not obey logic and thinks and
married , and
immature , and
foreigners as symbolic representations of the absent father).
Options - a million. But, you see, it is terribly interesting to understand which one is yours.
6. Pathological dissatisfaction with one's appearance
No, no, it's perfectly normal to look in the mirror from time to time and think
I've gained weight . However, if this thought haunts you relentlessly, if, as it often happens, it diverges from reality (and we all know people who look great, but at the same time experience a lot of complexes), then this means that someone has planted a strong self dissatisfaction. Who exactly? What for? Why?
See a psychotherapist.
7. Excessive irritability
You are irritated by a person who walks ahead of you too slowly. You can't sleep because your sleeping partner is breathing too loudly. You roll your eyes when your mom calls.
All this speaks of a huge amount of aggression that has accumulated inside you and does not find its natural outlet. Where did she come from? We do not know. Talk to a psychotherapist about this.
We'll cure you too. 20 signs that you need to see a therapist | Psychology of life | Health
Are you annoyed by others, do you suffer from insomnia or are you unable to overcome a sudden apathy? Sometimes you can cope with such temporary difficulties on your own or with the help of a psychologist. But what if a week, a month, half a year passes, but it doesn’t get better? You may have to use the "heavy artillery" in the form of a psychotherapist. This is a psychiatrist who has completed an additional specialization in psychotherapy. How to understand that you need just such a specialist, tells Maria Merkulova .
Sign No. 1. Dramatically changed lifestyle and daily routine . Such metamorphoses are noticed not only by you, but also by relatives, friends, neighbors. For example, you were very active, led a healthy lifestyle, talked a lot with people and suddenly became withdrawn, do not leave the house, it does not matter to you what to eat and wear, etc. There may be another transformation: a person was balanced, but became explosive and almost foaming at the mouth proves his case to everyone he meets.
Symptom No. 2. Prolonged apathy - you do not want anything, you are indifferent to the ongoing events . I note that both psychologists and psychotherapists work with this condition. But if it lasts more than two months, of course, you need to go to the last one.
Sign No. 3. You are haunted by obsessive thoughts, sometimes it even seems that someone controls them . We are talking about the impossibility of switching attention from an exciting topic to something else. Usually in such cases, thoughts are devoted to some global issues, for example, the salvation of the world and humanity.
Sign #4. Someone seems to be following or stalking you . It is important that this condition appears without any objective reasons. For example, if you are carrying a large amount of money from the sale of an apartment, a feeling of fear and apprehension may indeed arise, but in this case its origins are clear and easy to eliminate. It is worse when you do not know why such feelings visit you.
Sign No. 5. There is a feeling that the environment (relatives, neighbors, friends) is set against you or even preparing some kind of conspiracy . Sometimes suspicions can turn out to be true, everything happens in life. But in order to understand where is reality and where is fiction, it is better to contact a psychotherapist.
Symptom No. 6. Suicidal thoughts.
I note that the reason for contacting a specialist should be a combination of several signs at the same time. Let's say you have a drastic change in lifestyle, you sleep and eat poorly. And all this lasts more than two months. But in the case of the appearance of suicidal thoughts, a different story. This sign alone is enough to go to a psychotherapist.
Symptom No. 7. You hear extraneous voices, sounds, suddenly see various images, for example, a pattern on the wallpaper looks like a giant toad, a tie on the back of a chair looks like a crawling snake . We are not necessarily talking about schizophrenia and some complex diseases - people with a sensitive nervous system in a state of overstrain can also hear some extraneous sounds and voices.
This seems like a pretty obvious sign to see a psychotherapist, but many people ignore it or even drown it out with alcohol.
Feature No. 8. Outbreaks of sudden and unjustified aggression . Nothing has happened yet, but everything already infuriates you, the people around you piss you off. Someone experiences this state inside, and someone demonstrates it outside.
Sign No. 9. Sharp dissatisfaction with one's appearance without objective reasons . There are defects that really need to be corrected with the help of surgery. But when a person himself one day decides that he must go under the knife because of some far-fetched defect, while not having indications for surgery, this is unhealthy behavior.
Symptom #10. You think you have an incurable disease . And although all the tests and doctor's consultations say otherwise, it is impossible to convince you.
There is another manifestation: you experience pulling, aching pains, pressure, burning in different parts of the body. Analyzes are normal, and the origins of the disease state are unclear to you or the doctor.
Sign No. 11. When you open your eyes in the morning, you don’t know where you are, what day it is, and what is going on around you . It's hard for you to collect your thoughts.
Sign No. 12. You forget some important events from your life and the immediate past . Let's say a friend claims that you agreed to meet with him, but you don't understand what it's all about. It looks like memory lapses.
Feature No. 13. Alcohol and drug abuse . You relieve stress in this way, and it interferes with life and work. Remember the protagonist of the film "Duhless"? Here is a very similar situation.
Symptom No. 14. Lost appetite, you often forget to eat, or there is a backlash - you eat everything indiscriminately and cannot stop . Eating behavior is one of the best indicators of a person's psychological state.
Sign No. 15. New strange hobbies for something supernatural, magic, religion, psychological training have appeared in your life . Let me give you a vivid example: just a couple of months ago you were an atheist, and suddenly you decide to abruptly believe in God, you start going to church as a job and you are trying to impose your way of life on everyone you meet.
Symptom No. 16. Sudden changes in voice, facial expressions, gestures . Such things are most often noticed by people around. But you can track them yourself if you wish.
Sign No. 17. Scattered attention . You forget to close the door, turn off the iron, turn off the lights, etc.
Symptom No. 18. You are tormented by nightmares or some recurring fantastic dreams . In the morning you remember them perfectly in every detail, and they scare you. Also not a good sign is insomnia.
Sign No. 19. There was a feeling that you are an exceptional person who came into this world to bring people some truth, important knowledge, you see and know more than others . Usually such people do not have to save the whole of humanity, they can "save" a friend, a child, etc. They are more interested in living someone else's life than living their own.
Sign No. 20. You are not ready to go to a specialist, although you notice some of the signs listed above . A healthy person differs from an unhealthy one by the presence of criticism of his condition: if there are problems, I go to a doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist. But if there are serious deviations, often a person thinks to the last that everything is in order and he does not need help.