Married to a sadist

Relationship With An Everyday Sadist

Could you be in a relationship with an “everyday sadist?”

Someone who has everyday sadism is an average person who not only lacks empathy but enjoys inflicting harm on others. Do you know someone like this?Or, perhaps you interact with sadistic people and don’t know it. Here is some information for the psychiatrically curious:

Everyday sadists are people who have what scientists call a Dark Personality. (A lot of people out there actually enjoy making others feel bad. These people have sadistic personalities. So it makes sense thatthey areout there dating (or marrrying). After all, the best way to inflict pain is to do it to someone who truly cares about you.

What might an everyday sadist look like in your life?

Meet Carol. She loves to hurt people. People don’t know this about Carolbecause it’s not like she is a secret serial killer or anything. However, shegoes out of her way to hurt other people and enjoys it when others are wounded or harmed. For example, at work, she’sjealous of Patti. Patti’s too damn happy and does too good of a job. This annoys Carol.

Carol targets Patti by getting other people at the office to start hating on Patti and giving Patti a hard time about everything. She toggles up to Brian after a staff meeting and whispers, “Don’t you think Patti hada little attitude with you in that meeting? It is so obvious she thinks your department is a joke.”

By the time she isdone getting everybody to gang up on Patti, Carol is truly enjoying herself. Outside of work, Carol isnasty to waiters and waitresses, particularly the nice ones. It isn’tunusual for at least one person in Carol’s life (the dry cleaner, her son) to cry after an interaction with Carol. But, Carol lacks any empathy and pretends to understand what other people mean when they say stuff like, “I feel so bad for her.” Carol doesn’tfeel bad FOR anybody. Why? Because Carol is an everyday sadist.

Then there’s John. He really likesplaying violent video games and loves it when his dog whines for food. He waits just a little too long to pick up his wife from work because he knowsit bugs her. Then he attacks her verbally by saying, “I can’t believe how selfish you are to be steamed at me when I am doing you a favor. I wish I would have known this about you before we got married.” Then, shecries andJohnfeelsreally good inside. Why? Because John is an everyday sadist.

Do you know someone who might have some sadistic tendencies? Make sure you see a pattern of behavior before you jump to any conclusions.

And if you do think someone in your life has this, what can you do about it?

Be aware that there are people out there who might say they aren’t trying to hurt your feelings, but they actually are.
Know that if you appear like someone who won’t fight back or are an easy target, you are more likely to be solicited by these kinds of people in relationships.
Trust your instincts when you think you might be being manipulated.
Fight back in whatever way is smartest for you. In work, that could mean do a really good job of CYA (Cover Your A**). In a friendship, that might be backing away. In an intimate relationship, that probably means setting some boundaries on behavior.
Do not try to change your everyday sadistor gethim or herto see the error in their ways. This will only enrage them or make them irritated. And when they are irritated they will lash out. If you are a sadist reading this, help is available to if youthink youhave a problem. A licensed professional can help.
If you are married or in an intimate relationship with someone like this, do yourself a big kindness and get some professional support to separate out what your next steps could be.

Curious for more information?

The Psychometric Properties and Utility of the Short Sadistic Impulse Scale (SSIS)

Behavioral Confirmation of Everyday Sadism

Learn more about Stop Giving It Away.

>> Purchase Stop Giving It Away atAmazon>> Purchase Stop Giving It Away atBarnes & Noble

Photo Credit: Lisa monster Compfight Compfight.

Relationship With An Everyday Sadist

Could you be in a relationship with an “everyday sadist?”

What might an everyday sadist look like in your life?

Do you know someone who might have some sadistic tendencies? Make sure you see a pattern of behavior before you jump to any conclusions.

And if you do think someone in your life has this, what can you do about it?

Be aware that there are people out there who might say they aren’t trying to hurt your feelings, but they actually are.
Know that if you appear like someone who won’t fight back or are an easy target, you are more likely to be solicited by these kinds of people in relationships.
Trust your instincts when you think you might be being manipulated.
Fight back in whatever way is smartest for you. In work, that could mean do a really good job of CYA (Cover Your A**). In a friendship, that might be backing away. In an intimate relationship, that probably means setting some boundaries on behavior.
Do not try to change your everyday sadistor gethim or herto see the error in their ways. This will only enrage them or make them irritated. And when they are irritated they will lash out. If you are a sadist reading this, help is available to if youthink youhave a problem. A licensed professional can help.
If you are married or in an intimate relationship with someone like this, do yourself a big kindness and get some professional support to separate out what your next steps could be.

Curious for more information?

The Psychometric Properties and Utility of the Short Sadistic Impulse Scale (SSIS)

Behavioral Confirmation of Everyday Sadism

Learn more about Stop Giving It Away.

>> Purchase Stop Giving It Away atAmazon>> Purchase Stop Giving It Away atBarnes & Noble

Photo Credit: Lisa monster Compfight Compfight.

Marry a sadist. Three stories of apparently prosperous women

https://ru.sputnik.kz/20220122/sadist-istorii-zhenschiny-9526577.html

Marry a sadist. Three stories of outwardly prosperous women

Natalia is a florist with a higher engineering education, Olga is a teacher, Elena is an accountant. Married. Their husbands in public are quite ordinary, at home they are sadists... 01/22/2022, Sputnik Kazakhstan

2022-01-22T18: 22+0600

2022-02-01T14: 05+0600

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Marry a sadist. Three stories of outwardly prosperous women

Natalia – florist with higher engineering education, Olga – teacher, Elena – accountant. Married. Their husbands in public are quite ordinary, at home they are sadists. There are thousands of such women, it's just that you will never guess the hell they live in. And they can't get out.

"The first time he hit me in 2008, we only lived three years in Moscow." "Then I lost consciousness and I don't even know when he called an ambulance." "Probably loved and wanted to keep, although I don't know "Whether it was possible to save something or not. I hoped that the person would no longer behave like this. But further - more, worse. Everything was, even strangled with shoelaces." To suffer from physical, psychological and economic violence in Any woman can have a family: her status, financial situation, education are not important. They beat, humiliate, take away bank cards, establish total control over their victim. Torture lasts for years, but women are afraid to openly declare the problem. Often, it is not the aggressor that is blamed for the violence, but the victim herself - “it’s your own fault”, “you provoked it”, “be patient. ” The situation is aggravated by the law adopted in 2017 on the decriminalization of domestic violence. Those who beat their wives face no prison, but only a fine. But there are people and organizations ready to help. Hear the stories of three women victims of domestic violence. At least someone managed to escape ... Listen to RIA Novosti 9 podcasts0002 true

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"The first time he hit me was in 2008, when we only lived for three years in Moscow."

"Then I lost consciousness and I don't even know when he called an ambulance."

"He says to me: 'Smile, because everything is fine. Smile because... And I don’t need to make faces here that you are unhappy there. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't cry. And smile, because everything is fine.”

“Probably she loved and wanted to keep it, although I don't know if it was possible to keep something or not. I hoped that the person would no longer behave like this. But further - more, worse. Everything was there, even strangled with shoelaces."

Any woman can suffer from physical, psychological and economic violence in the family: her status, financial situation, education are not important. They beat, humiliate, take away bank cards, establish total control over their victim. Torture lasts for years, but women are afraid to openly declare the problem. Often, it is not the aggressor that is blamed for the violence, but the victim herself - “it’s her own fault”, “you provoked it”, “be patient”.

The situation is aggravated by the law adopted in 2017 decriminalizing domestic violence. Those who beat their wife face no prison, but only a fine.
But there are people and organizations ready to help. Hear the stories of three women victims of domestic violence. At least someone managed to run away ...

Listen to the podcasts of RIA Novosti

And I married a sadist

Komsomolskaya Pravda

28 28 April 2005 1:00

I read in Komsomolskaya Pravda for April 14 the girl’s confession “I can’t believe that my beloved is a sadist” and thought: how lucky she was that the guy’s mother told the whole truth about her son. I was not lucky.

I read the girl's confession “I can't believe that my beloved is a sadist” in Komsomolskaya Pravda on April 14 and thought: how lucky she is that the guy's mother told the whole truth about her son. I was not lucky. However, my mother-in-law hardly ever thought about who her son was. When Misha and I got married, she told me endlessly - how kind and caring he is. In fact, he turned out to be a sadist. Just not the fact that he twists his hands and drives needles under his nails. Worse. Moral sadist. He could not talk to me for weeks because I was late at work, because of other nonsense. But I always and in everything felt a huge burden of guilt in front of him. It turns out that he loved me more, for a long time he sought my consent to marry him. I was at fault from the start. In everything. That I look good, that I am successful at work. He could come and make a public scandal if I talked to any men. It doesn't matter - colleagues, clients. She suffered a lot of shame because of this. However, I could not talk about my work with him at all. He said right away: it's not interesting. And in response, I had to be interested in all his problems. And so it did. And inside the protest grew. To complete hate. Somehow I got very sick, at work the temperature jumped under forty. Fell off the threshold. And at that time he had an important friend. I had the strength to apologize for not being able to keep company. When this friend left, the husband burst into the room: - You ignored my friend. You don't care what kind of questions I'm solving here. It's me, like a fool, to meet your girlfriends with open arms.

- Mish, - I say, - don't yell at me, it's better to call an ambulance, I feel bad at all. He, you know what he did? He poured a bucket of cold water over me. So, I filed for divorce. He stole documents from the court. I submitted again. She asked me to just leave for a while until my hatred passed. Lord, what did he do! Threatened suicide. Defiantly took the rope and closed himself in the bathroom for two hours. A couple of times with a neighbor, we took out the door. And he was sitting on the floor, smoking, drinking wine. Called my mom and told me what a jerk I am, that I'm just an alcoholic and a whore. I called the boss at work ... Thank God, he turned out to be a decent person. Then he just took our son from the kindergarten and left in an unknown direction. I rushed from the kindergarten - home, then to relatives, then to his work. They were nowhere. I spent two days in delirium. Until he called himself and said that if I was going to get a divorce, he would not give Maksimka to me.

- Still giving birth! - said so. Then I was in the hospital for three months. At 24, she looked at 100. He just killed me. He threw Maksimka at my girlfriend's and said that even without me, he would have enough women. Like, really, it's enough. Some time later he married and they had a son. My mother-in-law (already former), however, regrets. Says we were a good couple. And now I am afraid of all men and I will never marry again. I just don’t know how my son will grow up, and what I will tell his bride later ...

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