How to deal with self doubt
8 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt Once and for All
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What is self-doubt?
The cause of self-doubt
Types of self-doubt
4 signs that you're doubting yourself
How to overcome fear and self-doubt in 8 steps
We all experience feelings of self-doubt from time to time, whether we're starting a new job, taking a test, or playing a sport. That's perfectly normal.
The definition of self-doubt is experiencing feelings of uncertainty about one or more aspects of yourself.
A certain low level of self-criticism can be a good source of motivation. It use may inspire you to work harder and hone your skills to increase your confidence. But too much doubt and fear can hold you from performing well and reaching your full potential.
Though it does take time, you can overcome your doubts. BetterUp is here to help you do that. Through dedication and hard work, we give you the tools you need to embrace your beautiful, authentic self.
What is self-doubt?
Self-doubt is a lack of confidence regarding yourself and your abilities. It’s a mindset that holds you back from succeeding and believing in yourself. Humility is a healthy character trait to have, but if it's at your own expense, it's no longer beneficial.
William Shakespeare once said, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” Basically, that means doubt makes us quit.
The cause of self-doubt
There are many things that can cause a person to doubt themselves. Although the most useful thing is to learn how to work around your self-doubt, it can be helpful to understand what causes it.
Here are some of the common factors that lead to self-doubt. Think of these as possible explanations to help you stop beating yourself up for having doubt. For most people, trying to pinpoint exactly why they have doubt is less important than overcoming it.
1. Narcissistic parents
Often, we’re scared of repeating our parents’ mistakes and might be overly cautious in specific decisions as a result. But if your parents are narcissistic or arrogant, you may swing to the extreme. In response to your parents’ characteristics, you may become too modest or unconfident. You may question your own actions. This makes it hard to accept praise.
2. The "drill sergeant approach"
Showing yourself “tough love” can be an effective motivator as it urges you to work harder the next time. But repeatedly criticizing yourself does far more harm than good. Self-sabotage from overworking and a fear of becoming lazy or “soft” can arise if this behavior continues.
3. Past experiences
There’s truth to the saying “the past can haunt us.” Our experiences shape who we are and how we see others and the world. Lots of us struggle to let go. Failures and setbacks from the past can leave us overwhelmed with self-doubt.
4. Fear of failure and fear of success
The fear of falling short and disappointing others is just as real as the fear of being unable to replicate our past successes. We might think it was luck that got us this far instead of our talents if we’re filled with doubt.
Types of self-doubt
Self-doubt often manifests in three forms.
The first is imposter syndrome, or the illogical fear of others seeing you as a fraud or undeserving of your accomplishments.
Next is self-sabotage, which refers to undermining yourself, your values, and your goals.
The third is indecisiveness or struggling to make big and small decisions due to worries that whatever path you choose will be wrong.
All of these things erode your self-esteem over time, and the negativity with which you view yourself increases.
4 signs that you're doubting yourself
Common indications that you may be dealing with self-doubt in your personal or professional life include:
1. You can’t accept compliments from others, and you can’t give yourself credit
2. You constantly seek reassurance
3. You have low self-esteem
4. You feel like you’re never good enough
How to overcome fear and self-doubt in 8 steps
Here are some good habits for you to keep in mind to stop doubting yourself:
1. Practice self-compassion
Self-doubt means that you’re holding yourself back. It arises from the fear of making a mistake, but mistakes are how we grow and improve our own abilities. Look at yourself in the mirror and say three positive affirmations at the beginning of every day.
2. Think back to your past achievements
Self-reflection is a fantastic tool; it reminds us that we’re capable of what we want to achieve. But living in the past can take away from the present moment. Learning from what’s happened — not dwelling on the bad — and focusing on using the lessons you’ve learned from those times to improve the present is what truly matters.
3. Try not to compare yourself to others
Self-doubt can also arise when you measure yourself up against a family member, colleague, or even a celebrity. Everyone’s life is different, and someone else excelling doesn’t mean you don’t have any strengths. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on yourself — it’s one of the best ways to stay happy and accomplish your dreams.
4. Spend your time with supportive people
Being around people who put us down is one of the worst things for our mental health. Some people won’t support you, but others absolutely will. Spend your time with people who make you feel good; they can build you up when you’re struggling to encourage yourself.
5. Remember, you are your biggest inner critic
No one holds us to a higher standard than ourselves. You wouldn’t put down your mother for not being chosen for a job or your sister for not receiving top marks on her school essay, so why do that to yourself? Apologizing to yourself is one of the most important steps toward healing and moving forward.
6. Seek professional help
It’s okay to ask for help, especially if self-doubt is a persistent obstacle that you’re facing. Talking about our feelings and insecurities allows us to unburden ourselves and be heard.
7. Start journaling
Make an effort to record what you’re thankful for and what you’re proud of doing each day. Your journal may cover everything from earning a promotion at work or remembering to do the dishes. The more frequently you practice loving yourself, the easier it gets.
8. Be skeptical of your thoughts
You aren’t your thoughts. Question how accurate or helpful they are. Negative thinking is a mental habit that consumes us more than it should. You can undo your habits, too. It just takes patience and commitment.
BetterUp is a human transformation company that champions personal growth, social connections, and mental fitness. We emphasize a conscious shift in thinking, from reactive to proactive, to open up a realm of opportunities. We won’t sugar coat it — it takes work to improve, but the effort is worth it. We’re here to guide you and empower you into becoming the very best person you can be.
10 Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
October 29, 2020
It’s normal to experience feelings of doubt when we are faced with new or challenging situations. Self-doubt is characterized by feelings of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of the self. It is something that we all may experience at certain times in our lives. However, when it becomes debilitating for us, that’s when we may need more tools to overcome self-doubt.
Self-doubt may stem from previous negative experiences or from attachment style issues. Those with insecure attachments may have experience being criticized, that can contribute to self-doubt later in life. If someone has been told in the past that they’re “not good enough” or incapable of something, then this can have a large negative effect on their self-worth. We also have a deep societal pressure to achieve, which can be more harmful than motivating for us.
If persistent self-doubt is not addressed, it can lead to:
- Procrastination or lack of motivation
- Emotional instability
- Low self-esteem
- Difficulty making decisions
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt. Psychologists describe it as the experience of feeling like a fraud, despite having achieved success. Imposter syndrome is something that is especially felt among women and minority groups. With imposter syndrome, it can limit our courage to put ourselves out there in a meaningful way or go after new opportunities. It causes people to experience self-doubt about if they are “qualified enough” or doing “well enough,” in a job, a relationship, a friendship, as a parent, or any other activity (even though they usually are).
Self-doubt and imposter syndrome can have a significant negative effect on someone’s self-esteem. However, there are ways to combat these feelings and become more confident in ourselves and our abilities.
How to Overcome Self-Doubt
1- Practice Self-Compassion
If self-doubt is holding you back from taking a leap with your career or in another aspect of your life, it helps to remember that we are all human. We all make mistakes along the way and it’s okay to do so. When we doubt our abilities, it’s often because we don’t want to make any room for mistakes. However, mistakes are also how we learn and grow. We can mitigate self-doubt and fear of failure by practicing being kind to ourselves, no matter the outcome.
2- Remember Your Past Achievements
Remember when you may have been scared to do something, in school or work, but it actually ended up going really well? It helps to reflect on concrete achievements where something challenging for us turned into something great. A lot of achievements are born out of initial uncertainty or doubt. It helps to remind ourselves about the times that things have gone right, because the same thing could happen in the present moment.
On the flip side, it’s good to not focus too much on the past or past failures we might have had. The present moment is a new opportunity to do well, even if things didn’t go right the first time.
3- Try to Not Compare Yourself to Others
They say that comparison is the thief of joy. This saying rings true in many ways. If you’re experiencing self-doubt because you’re afraid you won’t accomplish something at the same level as someone else, then it can be a paralyzing feeling. Everyone’s journey and ideas of success are different. What we can control and focus on is our own path and where we want to take it, regardless of where other people are at or what they have done.
4- Be Mindful of Your Thinking
When negative thoughts begin to creep in, sometimes they are hard to recognize because we become so used to them. Imposter syndrome thrives off of these negative thoughts that tell us that we aren’t worthy of the place we’re at or that we won’t produce good work. Next time these thoughts persist, take a moment and ask yourself if you really believe that they are true. Consider how positive thinking may shift your mindset and allow you to be more confident in your abilities.
5- Spend Time With Supportive People
The friends and family members in our lives who believe in us and everything that we’re capable of will always be on our side. When you’re feeling self-doubt, surround yourself with these people. They can remind you of how talented and resilient you are during times when you’re not feeling that way about yourself.
6- Find Validation From Within
While it’s great to feel reassured from others that we are doing a good job or that we are capable of accomplishing a difficult task, it’s equally important to have our own faith in ourselves. Constant reassurance doesn’t mean much if we still don’t believe in ourselves. Even if we aren’t the most confident about where we’re at, it’s good to practice being accepting of our strengths and all that we have to offer.
7- Remember That You’re The Harshest Critic
Would you doubt a friend who took on a new job or for the way they parent their kids the same way that you doubt yourself.? The answer is likely no. We will always be the harshest critic for ourselves. It’s a nice reminder to treat ourselves with the same kindness and compassion that we have for others, instead of being so critical on ourselves.
8- Identify Your Values
Take a moment to assess your values and what matters most to you. It may be that you’re kind to others, you’re a good friend, or that you contribute to something meaningful in your life. When we recognize these values and what truly matters to us, the fear of criticism from others falls by the wayside. And when we live aligned with our values, it doesn’t feel as detrimental to be criticized or make mistakes.
9- Keep a Journal
Journaling is always a therapeutic exercise to practice. Writing down your thoughts of self-doubt or experiences with imposter syndrome onto paper might be a good release. You may even realize after you see your concerns written down, that they may not be as detrimental as you thought they were. This can help to gradually overcome self-doubt.
10-Seek Professional Help
It may help to see a mental health professional to overcome self-doubt if these feelings persist to the point that makes it difficult for you to function in everyday life. Therapy can help us feel understood and give us tools to alleviate feelings of doubt. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a popular form of therapy that can help specifically with self-doubt. With CBT, we can learn methods to challenge problematic ways of thinking that may lead to an improved mood and overall well being. If you’re interested in meeting with a therapist at Eugene Therapy to help overcome self-doubt, you can request an appointment today.
33 Ways to Deal with Insecurity and Anxiety Like Madonna / Sudo Null IT NewsThat's good, because the lessons learned are for us to turn weaknesses into strengths!
So why not make insecurity and anxiety your strengths? And , why not learn from Madonna , who appears on the Forbes magazine lists, and Harvard students study her life path? nine0009
Look to Madonna for inspiration. Those bold doubts in her words:
“I, too, have moments of doubt and weakness. Moments when I do something before I think it over. Moments when I choose the easiest way. Moments when I gossip and envy. Moments of deep self-doubt”
Not all of us are endowed with her talents, but why not try to overcome the “what if…” thoughts with the help of self-expression? nine0013
Inspired by the lines from Madonna's "Express Yourself", this article brings together 33 bright ways to live life to the fullest, meeting approval, failure, finding yourself and life's values, spirituality, imperfection, honesty, creativity and purposefulness along the way.
1. Do what your inner voice says
Before you do something that gets on your nerves, write about what you like. Focus on what you love to do and put your soul into it! nine0013
2. Make panic your friend
The more you pretend not to panic, the more it becomes clear that the panic has overcome you after all. Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park says:
“. .. life will not be measured. It easily gets out of control, opens up new horizons for you and destroys barriers, sometimes it is painful and dangerous ... life, um ... finds a way ... "
Your panic is alive and well, so don't try to suppress it and use it as a trigger. nine0013
3. Reduce your alcohol intake and stay cool
Don't play cool. Feel the fullness of life and limit the use of alcohol, sugar and caffeine, which fuel anxiety and mask feelings.
You must listen to your inner voice and speak frankly about your own feelings. Overcome fears by taking responsibility for your words and actions.
4. Get rid of garbage and breathe
Get rid of the junk that instills fear and apathy in you and set priorities for yourself. nine0006 Develop a life-affirming habit of breathing and living measuredly. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for 7-11 seconds, exhale again.
5. Stop being afraid of being misunderstood
Don't count on people to read your mind. Choose the right words and go towards people, tell them about what you feel, think and what you want.
6. Rock the boat and don't try to fit in with society
Do not try to fulfill other people's whims or adapt to society. Strengthen your integrity and act intuitively. Your life is a constant choice. Do it and accept all the consequences of this choice. nine0013
Expect the best and don't be afraid to try.
Much safer under predictable circumstances, but at what cost to you? Don't settle for less or less than the best. Don't be afraid when things fall apart. Always try new things and let them fall apart, fail until you experience success.
7. Do not judge
Stop labeling people. Are you tired of judging yourself and other people? When you stop doing this, you will notice that judgment used to take up a lot of space in your life. nine0013
8. Fail often but rise quickly
Pull yourself together quickly, because repeated failures provide invaluable lessons and open up new opportunities for you.
9. Compare real and imagined reasons for anxiety
Analyze reality by comparing current and perceived causes of anxiety. Instead of coming up with unnecessary reasons for anxiety, use your imagination to good use and come up with something.
Look for the good in people and start a cycle of help by offering and asking for help from others. Let others open up to you, and in turn, don't be afraid to open up to them. Speak sincerely so that you always see only the good in yourself and other people. nine0013
10. Soak up emotions like a sponge
Have you tried to numb your emotions after being told that you are too sensitive? Tune in to this and direct this trait in the right direction. After all, the opposite emotions are apathy, indifference and callousness. So experience emotions and share them with others!
11. Leave your island and ask for help
Set aside at least an hour a week to connect with others. Call a friend, schedule a meeting or volunteer event. Make new acquaintances. nine0013
12. Lend a helping hand
Thinking “what if…” is very selfish, especially when you think “What will I tell them when they stop talking?”
Do not burden your thoughts and help others by simply smiling and listening to them.
Forget superficiality; Do not overestimate or underestimate your strengths and weaknesses. You don't need wealth, superficial illusions, or distractions. Feel focused, carefree and sincere. nine0013
13. Get a firm footing, start small and grow
During the school years, many gave up because of unrealistic hopes and failures. Big ideas lead to goals!
14. Think narrowly
Your brain is too open to new possibilities! It's wonderful and incredible. But focus on a specific case to understand all aspects of it.
15. Why are you so serious?
Stop taking yourself so seriously, learn to laugh and move on. Try. nine0013
16. Let go of the reins and go wild!
Anxiety is next to control, so step over the threshold of your comfort zone. Spend time in nature where you can find perfection off the screen.
17. Learn to be grateful
Attract success. Be concentrated and use your intuition to attract good luck at the right time.
18. Think and be calm
Keep your inner peace in harmony and clear your thoughts by focusing on your breath. Do this for 10 minutes a day. nine0013
Find perfection in imperfection and realize that you deserve a happy and interesting life. True happiness is not actions, but a state of mind. Feel this state and live to the fullest. You deserve it.
19. Be like our little brothers
Animals know a lot about life, so try to be closer to nature. Your pet will never judge or worry about little things.
20. Practice a lot to be successful
Imagine that you have become successful by overcoming all the “what if…” thoughts. Success is the result of practice, muscle memory. Read Amy Cuddy's book "Presence" and practice positive body language, and then you will have corresponding thoughts.
21. Straight to the end!
Don't let anything, especially perfectionism, get in the way of your way to the finish line.
Constant work and perseverance builds your success and self-confidence.
Always walk with your head up. Rationally consider what “what if” thoughts lead to. Watch for thoughts to become irrational and change direction. nine0013
22. Break down the walls
Feel and express your emotions, even anger. Honesty will break down the wall that separates you from others and lead to your goal and happiness.
No more sighs, criticism, complaints and whining. Don't pretend everything is fine. Be realistic and act confidently.
24. Be yourself and develop yourself
Live as you see fit and continue to engage in self-development. For example, yoga on Thursdays is a good way to get to know yourself. nine0013
Find your moral and social norms, harmony and discipline, starting with bringing positivity and structure to your day.
25. Build relationships on empathy and friendship
Instead of using a devastating "I can't" in your speech, speak positively and from your heart. Learn the art of caring without becoming a spineless person.
Prioritize the balance of a calm, healthy, measured life. Don't underestimate the importance of a good night's sleep, an organized home, a healthy daily routine, breaks, and friends that are above "more important work." nine0013
27. Kick some butts!
Don't forget about regular exercise. Find yourself in one of the disciplines and connect with your breath, achievements, responsibilities and go to the end.
Channeling your anxious thoughts in the right direction turns them into expressiveness, allowing you to make a decision that will open new doors and improve your life.
28. Art and music
Find your creative side through painting, sculpture, or music. nine0013
It can be as simple as rearranging a room or organizing a closet. This is a positive action. Also, regular cleaning will bring a good result.
30. Speak up!
Sign up for a drama club or conversation class. Practice on your own, on camera, online, or in front of a group.
Remember everything, do not deny the past, but focus completely on the present. Do as much as you can in the present and don't regret anything. nine0013
31. Find the cause
It is not the desire to receive a reward that will lead you to the goal, but the search for a reason to love what you do.
Madonna also advises societies and schools:
“When you feel oppressed or trapped, stop thinking about yourself and do something nice for someone else. It is an excellent remedy for sadness, anxiety and insecurity…”
32. Focus on your goal
Instead of worrying about what others think of you, think that you want to get over it and learn something new. Ask yourself about your goals several times, and you will find the true reasons for your actions. nine0013
33. Make a positive action list!
Decide what you can do today without regretting what you did. Take at least one step towards your goal every day.
At your next speech or event, release your anxiety. Develop, flourish, shine with harmony and passion to turn self-doubt into a way of self-expression.
P.S. We recommend another useful article on the topic of working on yourself - 5 unusual habits of highly productive people. nine0013
Translated by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of TESTutor.
Self-doubt: 6 ways to overcome it
Clinical psychologist and co-founder of YouTalk service Anna Krymskaya tells where self-doubt comes from, how it differs from low self-esteem, how to overcome it and how to recognize a person who is insecure
We all have moments when we feel like we're not up to par: maybe we didn't reach our goals at work, got a low score on an exam, or weren't quite savvy in a conversation. It is perfectly normal to doubt your competences and realize your shortcomings from time to time. Moreover, it is even necessary for self-improvement and development. The problem arises when we get “stuck” in this feeling of inferiority, self-doubt becomes an obstacle to self-expression and prevents the achievement of goals. nine0013
Finished reading here
What is self-doubt
The American Psychological Association defines self-doubt as a feeling of inferiority, inability to cope with life's difficulties, accompanied by a sense of general uncertainty and anxiety about one's goals, abilities and relationships with other people. An insecure person is sure only that everything turns out worse for him than for others, and that everyone else is smarter, stronger, more beautiful, and so on. nine0013
Uncertainty makes it difficult to adequately assess one's capabilities. Instead of working on self-development, an insecure person gives up because he does not believe that his efforts can fix something, which means that he believes that it is not even worth starting to do something.
Uncertainty is often confused with low self-esteem. But these states are not the same, although they often coexist with each other. The word "confidence" (English confidence) comes from the Latin fidere - "believe, trust." To be self-confident means to believe in yourself and, in particular, in your ability to successfully or at least adequately interact with the world. A confident person is ready to take on new challenges, seize opportunities, handle difficult situations, and take responsibility if things go wrong. Confidence is also something that is noticeable to others. nine0013
Self-esteem is how a person perceives his own value and significance of his personality, life, activities. Self-esteem does not depend on skills, it is unconditional love for yourself as you are. A person with adequate self-esteem has a belief about himself that goes something like this: "I am a good person, entitled to attention and respect from others - simply in fact, and not because I deserve it in some way."
Constant and strong self-doubt, low self-esteem and a sense of superiority of others over oneself together form what is called in psychology an "inferiority complex". nine0013
Signs of self-doubt
It is noteworthy that many find it difficult to determine their level of self-confidence. You can feel confident in one area of your life, but in another - feel insecure, doubt your abilities and not understand what is holding back their development.
Insecure people, as a rule:
- Socially withdrawn - they avoid social events or force themselves to be socially active, but at the same time they feel tense, as if watching themselves from the side; nine0220
- Experiencing constant anxiety, which shifts the priorities of attention and leads to a distorted perception of reality;
- They do not know how to accept compliments because they do not believe that they are being told the truth;
- Worry about what other people think of them;
- They neglect to take care of themselves, because they see no point in it, because nothing will change anyway;
- Not ready to take on challenges and step out of comfort zone;
- Constantly doubt the decisions made; nine0220
- Retreat from conversations that may lead to conflict, even if they think they are right;
- Constructive criticism is poorly received, it touches and hurts them;
- Rarely speak out in a group conversation;
- Constantly explain and justify their actions;
- Complain and blame other people a lot, removing responsibility from themselves and their actions;
- Often resort to defensive body language, cross their arms over their chest, walk with a stern face, unconsciously hiding from people; nine0220
- Seeking approval from others;
- Pessimists and afraid of the future;
- They are ashamed when they do not achieve perfection in any business;
- Apologize often;
- Buy things they don't really like;
- They lie just to embellish their stories, which they don't find interesting enough;
- Often avoid eye contact;
- Use self-deprecating humor as a defense mechanism: it's better to joke about yourself before someone else does. nine0220
Where does self-doubt come from
There are a lot of factors that affect self-confidence. These are the characteristics of family upbringing, and the culture in which the child grew up, and relationships with a romantic partner, the environment and mental health status.
The development of self-confidence depends on contact with significant adults in childhood. First of all, let's talk about parents. Ideally, in order not to grow up insecure, the child should receive from them a sense of self-worth - when adults notice and support the activity and initiatives of the child, give him the freedom to experiment, believe in his abilities, praise and reward for success. At the same time, they do not depreciate in case of failures, allow mistakes (and also admit their mistakes and apologize for them), are interested in the opinion of the child and take it into account when making decisions, respect the child’s boundaries as well as their own. One part of these points is aimed at loving and accepting the child as a whole. The other is to support his actions, the ability to notice successes and not grieve over failures. Accordingly, the former will cultivate a sense of adequate self-esteem, the latter - self-confidence. nine0013
However, it is difficult to find a family in which these recommendations will be fully implemented. No wonder so many people feel insecure. But if the childhood experience was unsuccessful, this does not mean that it will determine the rest of your future life and you will not be able to overcome self-doubt. In adulthood, we have the opportunity to fill in the gaps, give ourselves the care, love and support that was not enough in childhood. You can start with a trip to a psychologist. Perhaps the main advantages of psychotherapy are the ability to “get acquainted” with a small one, work through injuries and make up for deficiencies. nine0013
In addition to childhood trauma, there are enough triggers in today's world that make us feel inadequate and insecure. This is, for example, a flood of information from companies that sell us products and services designed to fix "problems" with our body or lifestyle that we would otherwise not notice. Or social networks that broadcast the idea that others allegedly always have perfect relationships, a great career and a model appearance.
Self-doubt and low self-esteem can also be a consequence of more serious trauma associated with experienced violence - physical, sexual or emotional. In such cases, work with a specialist psychologist is necessary. Do-it-yourself strategies for coping with uncertainty in such a situation can often be useless and sometimes harmful. nine0013
How to become more confident
Confidence is not an innate, fixed characteristic. It is an ability that anyone can acquire and improve over time. If you are reading this article, this is already a good start. Even learning and understanding what confidence is is a big step in the right direction.
Working with a psychologist will help speed up this process. It will be based on a strategy developed taking into account your inputs: the characteristics of childhood upbringing, the presence of traumatic experiences; the environment you are in right now. nine0013
But there are also some tips and exercises that will be useful, regardless of your experience. To overcome self-doubt, you can try to do the following:
Write down everything that you can praise yourself for
Try at the end of the day to note what exactly today you did well, in what areas you managed to advance, what strengths to show. By devaluing ourselves and our actions, we often hinder the development of our confidence. Try to fix your thoughts and appreciate even the smallest successes. They are no less important than great achievements. nine0013
Acknowledge your emotions
To overcome insecurity, it is worth starting to acknowledge every emotion, including the most difficult ones. Try saying words of encouragement to yourself, change your internal dialogue to supportive instead of critical. For example, instead of “you still won’t succeed, as usual”, you should say “you will definitely succeed, and if you don’t succeed this time, then try again, then you will succeed for sure!”. It is not scary if at first these words do not sound sincere. Think about how you would talk to a child, how you would support him - and try to support yourself in the same way. nine0013
Talk frankly with loved ones
Insecure people strongly depend on the opinions of others. The paradox is that few of us know what others really think of us. You can try to talk to friends and loved ones - ask what qualities they value in you and whether any of these qualities are unique. You can also try to find out what others think you are really good at and what they can rely on you for. Sometimes we get too carried away with self-criticism and forget to notice the good in ourselves. nine0013
Make a list of your valuable resources
Try to write down on paper your valuable resources: knowledge, education, skills, professional and personal experience, character traits, circle of acquaintances, values and beliefs, goals and plans. Perhaps in the process you will find items that you forgot about and they will pleasantly surprise you. Then you can reread the list and note the resources that you can rely on in different situations - including difficult periods of life. You can also think about what resources you would like to develop and sketch out a plan of action. Starting to do it, with new experience, you can gain stability and confidence. nine0013
Transform fear into interest
Another domain of uncertainty is shyness and fear in dealing with people. Often, it is with those whose opinion he cares that an insecure person will feel heaviness in communication and awkwardness. It is worth trying to transform fear into interest and involvement. Every time you notice yourself concentrating on the other person's thoughts about you, try asking yourself why this person is interesting to you, what you like about him, and what you don't understand. This approach will help to neutralize fear, keep the conversation going, create a comfortable environment for communication and overcome uncertainty. nine0013
Take care of your physical and emotional health
if you do not get enough sleep and feel lethargic.