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Impulse control tips


5 Tips to Tame Impulsive Behavior

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If you have difficulty paying attention, often feel restless, and give in to urges easily, you may be living with the hyperactive-impulsive presentation of ADHD.

Managing impulsivity is possible, even if it might feel really challenging at times.

The first step to control your impulses is to seek the support of a mental health professional who can help you create and maintain a treatment plan for adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

But there’s a lot you can also do on your own to manage and improve impulse control. By being an active player in your treatment, you can further improve your quality of life.

What does impulsive behavior look like in ADHD?

Every adult is unique, so it depends on your personality and circumstances.

In general, impulsive behavior often looks like an improvised or unpredicted course of action that’s not based on logic. It’s your emotions driving your behavior.

These impulsive actions may sometimes go against your own plans and habits, and on some occasions, they might become harmful to you or others.

Examples of impulsive behavior include:

  • Constantly interrupting conversations or say things you later regret.
  • Hopping from one activity to the next one or try to handle three simultaneously.
  • Go shopping for one item and return home with endless bags.
  • While driving, you get impatient and begin cutting in front of everyone.
  • Go out to have one drink and end up coming home with someone you don’t know.

Most people act impulsively from time to time. The difference is that ADHD — particularly the hyperactive-impulsive subtype — affects impulse control to the point that these behaviors become persistent over time and across situations.

The following impulse control techniques may help.

How does your impulsivity manifest? What are the common negative consequences? When and where are you the most impulsive?

“No two ADHD adults look the same,” says Terry Matlen, ACSW, a psychotherapist and author of “Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD.” “That’s why it’s vital to understand how your particular ‘flavor’ of ADHD affects your life.”

To become aware and identify the particulars of impulse control challenges, you can begin by taking notes and keeping an inventory.

Eventually, you’ll find a system that works best for you. To start, you could:

  • list recent behaviors that you consider impulsive
  • list recent behaviors that other people consider impulsive in you
  • identify negative consequences of recent impulsive behaviors
  • identify positive consequences of recent impulsive behaviors
  • pinpoint the places where you most often become impulsive
  • select some impulsive behaviors that might be the most harmful to you or others

Matlen also suggests reading about ADHD in adults and attending support groups and conferences that can provide further resources.

To control your impulses, you can sharpen your self-awareness by practicing mindfulness.

“[B]ring attention to the present moment and observe what is happening without judging it,” says Lidia Zylowska, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD and penned the book “The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD. ”

For instance, focus on your thoughts, emotions, and urges along with how your body feels when you’re about to be impulsive, says Zylowska.

This may not be easy at first. You might pick up on your impulsivity only after being impulsive. But with practice, you can start identifying what precipitates your impulsive behavior.

Mindfulness may also help you gain some distance from your urges. This way, you aren’t driven by your impulses but simply observing them. Then, you can decide on your actions, adds Zylowska.

Here’s how it could work:

  1. Practice how to recognize an urge before you act impulsively.
  2. Put a name on that urge. For example, “This is anger I feel.”
  3. Identify the action that emotion is leading you to. For example, “I want to criticize my spouse (because I’m angry).”
  4. Identify what you need to do to stop the impulsive behavior. For example, “I need to express my frustration without making it personal.” Or, “I need to step away, take a moment, and come back later. ”
  5. Approach the situation once your urge has decreased.
  6. Document your emotion, what you felt like doing, and what you ended up doing.

Use a supportive, compassionate, and encouraging voice, says Zylowska. For instance, if you want to manage your impatience, you might say: “Waiting is hard for you, but see if you can be a bit more patient right now.”

Checking in refers to taking inventory of how you feel and what your predominant thoughts are right before acting impulsively.

The goal is to pinpoint the inner dialogue underlying your impulsive behaviors. Once you do, you can challenge them.

For instance, let’s say you had to complete a job task but ended up browsing Facebook for an hour.

Carol Perlman, PhD, a psychologist who developed a cognitive behavioral therapy for adult ADHD, suggests asking yourself a series of questions.

For example:

  • What was going on when you started the task?
  • Did it feel doable?
  • Was it interesting?
  • Was any resistance in you regarding the task itself?

Maybe you started looking at Facebook because the thought of sitting at your desk for two hours straight seemed utterly unbearable, she says.

Once you’ve identified the challenges or emotions underlying your impulses, you can implement correctives.

There are many ways you can go about this. Here are some examples Perlman, also co-author of the therapist guide and workbook “Mastering Your Adult ADHD,” suggests:

  • Break out your tasks into bite-sized steps. For example, work on your task for 30 minutes and then take a five-minute break in a different environment.
  • When taking a break, plan for short and relaxing activities. Also, set up an alarm. If you stay on break too long, you may get distracted and move to other tasks.
  • Keep asking questions about the task you’re having difficulty completing. For example, “How bad can this really be?” or “Can I coach myself through the less enjoyable parts?” or “How good will it feel once I finish?”

Once you improve your self-awareness and mindfulness, you’ll be able to know where and when you typically act impulsively. The following step is to sabotage those instances, says Matlen.

For example, if you usually overspend when you go out shopping, leave your credit card and checkbook at home. Take cash instead, and take only what you need to purchase what you’ll be shopping for.

If you need to curb impulsive speech, Perlman suggests taking a notepad with you to important meetings. Instead of blurting out your comments, jot them down as soon as they come to you. Read them later and mention them at the appropriate time.

To plan for this, go back to your initial list. Next to the impulsive behaviors you have identified, write the possible impulse control solutions.

Sometimes ADHD impulsivity might be the result of being stressed or on edge, says Perlman.

Relaxing can increase your impulse control.

Perlman suggests the following:

  • Practice guided imagery.
  • Listen to calming music at all times, particularly when you need to get busy.
  • Implement deep breathing techniques throughout your day.
  • Exercise as often as possible.
  • Learn progressive muscle relaxation.

Managing ADHD impulsivity might be challenging at times, but it’s possible.

Self-awareness is the first step to impulse control, besides seeking the guidance of a mental health professional.

You can begin taming your impulsive behaviors by checking in with yourself, making it more difficult to act on impulse, and improving your mental and physical relaxation.

5 Tips to Tame Impulsive Behavior

We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Here’s our process.

Psych Central only shows you brands and products that we stand behind.

Our team thoroughly researches and evaluates the recommendations we make on our site. To establish that the product manufacturers addressed safety and efficacy standards, we:

  • Evaluate ingredients and composition: Do they have the potential to cause harm?
  • Fact-check all health claims: Do they align with the current body of scientific evidence?
  • Assess the brand: Does it operate with integrity and adhere to industry best practices?

We do the research so you can find trusted products for your health and wellness.

Read more about our vetting process.

If you have difficulty paying attention, often feel restless, and give in to urges easily, you may be living with the hyperactive-impulsive presentation of ADHD.

Managing impulsivity is possible, even if it might feel really challenging at times.

The first step to control your impulses is to seek the support of a mental health professional who can help you create and maintain a treatment plan for adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

But there’s a lot you can also do on your own to manage and improve impulse control. By being an active player in your treatment, you can further improve your quality of life.

What does impulsive behavior look like in ADHD?

Every adult is unique, so it depends on your personality and circumstances.

In general, impulsive behavior often looks like an improvised or unpredicted course of action that’s not based on logic. It’s your emotions driving your behavior.

These impulsive actions may sometimes go against your own plans and habits, and on some occasions, they might become harmful to you or others.

Examples of impulsive behavior include:

  • Constantly interrupting conversations or say things you later regret.
  • Hopping from one activity to the next one or try to handle three simultaneously.
  • Go shopping for one item and return home with endless bags.
  • While driving, you get impatient and begin cutting in front of everyone.
  • Go out to have one drink and end up coming home with someone you don’t know.

Most people act impulsively from time to time. The difference is that ADHD — particularly the hyperactive-impulsive subtype — affects impulse control to the point that these behaviors become persistent over time and across situations.

The following impulse control techniques may help.

How does your impulsivity manifest? What are the common negative consequences? When and where are you the most impulsive?

“No two ADHD adults look the same,” says Terry Matlen, ACSW, a psychotherapist and author of “Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD. ” “That’s why it’s vital to understand how your particular ‘flavor’ of ADHD affects your life.”

To become aware and identify the particulars of impulse control challenges, you can begin by taking notes and keeping an inventory.

Eventually, you’ll find a system that works best for you. To start, you could:

  • list recent behaviors that you consider impulsive
  • list recent behaviors that other people consider impulsive in you
  • identify negative consequences of recent impulsive behaviors
  • identify positive consequences of recent impulsive behaviors
  • pinpoint the places where you most often become impulsive
  • select some impulsive behaviors that might be the most harmful to you or others

Matlen also suggests reading about ADHD in adults and attending support groups and conferences that can provide further resources.

To control your impulses, you can sharpen your self-awareness by practicing mindfulness.

“[B]ring attention to the present moment and observe what is happening without judging it,” says Lidia Zylowska, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD and penned the book “The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD. ”

For instance, focus on your thoughts, emotions, and urges along with how your body feels when you’re about to be impulsive, says Zylowska.

This may not be easy at first. You might pick up on your impulsivity only after being impulsive. But with practice, you can start identifying what precipitates your impulsive behavior.

Mindfulness may also help you gain some distance from your urges. This way, you aren’t driven by your impulses but simply observing them. Then, you can decide on your actions, adds Zylowska.

Here’s how it could work:

  1. Practice how to recognize an urge before you act impulsively.
  2. Put a name on that urge. For example, “This is anger I feel.”
  3. Identify the action that emotion is leading you to. For example, “I want to criticize my spouse (because I’m angry).”
  4. Identify what you need to do to stop the impulsive behavior. For example, “I need to express my frustration without making it personal.” Or, “I need to step away, take a moment, and come back later. ”
  5. Approach the situation once your urge has decreased.
  6. Document your emotion, what you felt like doing, and what you ended up doing.

Use a supportive, compassionate, and encouraging voice, says Zylowska. For instance, if you want to manage your impatience, you might say: “Waiting is hard for you, but see if you can be a bit more patient right now.”

Checking in refers to taking inventory of how you feel and what your predominant thoughts are right before acting impulsively.

The goal is to pinpoint the inner dialogue underlying your impulsive behaviors. Once you do, you can challenge them.

For instance, let’s say you had to complete a job task but ended up browsing Facebook for an hour.

Carol Perlman, PhD, a psychologist who developed a cognitive behavioral therapy for adult ADHD, suggests asking yourself a series of questions.

For example:

  • What was going on when you started the task?
  • Did it feel doable?
  • Was it interesting?
  • Was any resistance in you regarding the task itself?

Maybe you started looking at Facebook because the thought of sitting at your desk for two hours straight seemed utterly unbearable, she says.

Once you’ve identified the challenges or emotions underlying your impulses, you can implement correctives.

There are many ways you can go about this. Here are some examples Perlman, also co-author of the therapist guide and workbook “Mastering Your Adult ADHD,” suggests:

  • Break out your tasks into bite-sized steps. For example, work on your task for 30 minutes and then take a five-minute break in a different environment.
  • When taking a break, plan for short and relaxing activities. Also, set up an alarm. If you stay on break too long, you may get distracted and move to other tasks.
  • Keep asking questions about the task you’re having difficulty completing. For example, “How bad can this really be?” or “Can I coach myself through the less enjoyable parts?” or “How good will it feel once I finish?”

Once you improve your self-awareness and mindfulness, you’ll be able to know where and when you typically act impulsively. The following step is to sabotage those instances, says Matlen.

For example, if you usually overspend when you go out shopping, leave your credit card and checkbook at home. Take cash instead, and take only what you need to purchase what you’ll be shopping for.

If you need to curb impulsive speech, Perlman suggests taking a notepad with you to important meetings. Instead of blurting out your comments, jot them down as soon as they come to you. Read them later and mention them at the appropriate time.

To plan for this, go back to your initial list. Next to the impulsive behaviors you have identified, write the possible impulse control solutions.

Sometimes ADHD impulsivity might be the result of being stressed or on edge, says Perlman.

Relaxing can increase your impulse control.

Perlman suggests the following:

  • Practice guided imagery.
  • Listen to calming music at all times, particularly when you need to get busy.
  • Implement deep breathing techniques throughout your day.
  • Exercise as often as possible.
  • Learn progressive muscle relaxation.

Managing ADHD impulsivity might be challenging at times, but it’s possible.

Self-awareness is the first step to impulse control, besides seeking the guidance of a mental health professional.

You can begin taming your impulsive behaviors by checking in with yourself, making it more difficult to act on impulse, and improving your mental and physical relaxation.

How to help an impulsive child gain self-control

  • Most children occasionally act without thinking.

  • When children act impulsively, they may be mistaken for being careless, mean, or rude.

  • There are ways to help children cope with impulsivity.

How often have you seen children act without thinking? There are probably enough. Most children occasionally act impulsively or say something before they can stop. They may blurt out something inappropriate or run out onto the road for the ball without looking around. nine0005

But what about children who seem to have no "mental brakes" at all? If your child often interrupts people, grabs other people's things without asking, and frequently puts himself at risk, you may be wondering why this is happening. Is it about immaturity? Inability to assess the situation? Or is there something else behind the impulsive behavior?

Learn about impulsivity and how you can help your child learn better self-control. nine0005

​

Impulsive behavior you can observe

What is impulsivity? The normal behavior of a child involves the manifestation of impulsivity from time to time. However, when this happens frequently, it is impossible to ignore the obvious: the child has self-control problems.

​

Impulsivity manifests itself differently in different children. And behavior can change as the child grows. Being impulsive, a child can:

  • Acting stupid and inappropriate to get attention

  • Have difficulty following the rules consistently

  • Being aggressive towards other children (young children often fight, kick and bite)

  • Do not wait your turn in games and conversations

  • Grabbing other people's things or pushing in line

  • Overreacting to frustration, frustration, mistakes, and criticism

  • Strive to be the last to speak in an argument and always be first in line

  • Not understanding how his words and behavior affect other people

  • Not understanding the consequences of one's actions

  • Take more risks in relationships, sex, driving, taking alcohol and drugs

Impulsive behavior can often make children appear younger. For example, an 8-year-old child may have self-control that is more likely to be expected from a 5-year-old child. Thus, you can observe behavior that, it would seem, should have stopped a long time ago. nine0005

​

What can cause children to be impulsive

Children can be impulsive for many reasons. Sometimes it really is a matter of maturity. Not all children develop at the same rate, and some simply take longer than others to learn to think and control their actions.

​

Lack of sleep can be another cause of impulsive behavior, as well as stress and frustration. When something bad happens to a child at school or in everyday life, impulsive behavior can be a response to stress. Young children cannot always find words to describe how they feel, and they may not even know why they are tense or upset. nine0005

​

Some children may be impulsive due to one of the disorders. One of the most common causes of frequent impulsive behavior is ADHD. Many children and adults suffer from ADHD, and the disorder is often inherited. Therefore, you may see some of these behaviors in other close family members.

​

ADHD can make it difficult for a person to control strong feelings, such as anger. For example, when children with ADHD get angry, they may start kicking furniture or saying something mean instead of experiencing their anger in a more restrained way. nine0005

​

There are also mental disorders, such as phobias and affective disorders, that can lead to impulsive behavior in a child.

​

It is easy to guess what is behind a child's impulsive behavior. For example, if a child makes a rude remark, people may think that the remark was intentionally offensive. But in many cases, such as ADHD, children are not being rude or aggressive on purpose. However, they need more help and practice to learn to slow down and think before they act. nine0005

​

No matter what is causing your child's impulsiveness, there are ways to help him improve self-control and gain self-confidence. And with more control over their actions, children can feel more "mature", which will increase their self-esteem.

​

How to help your child deal with impulsivity

Even if you're not sure why your child is acting impulsively, you can still work on strengthening his skills at home. Explore strategies for:

  • Improvements in self-monitoring

  • Development of coping skills

  • How to react when your child is upset

If you suspect your child has ADHD, learn what to do next. If your child's behavior seems completely "out of control" and you're not sure why, find out what to do about it - see a child psychologist or behavioral specialist. nine0005

​

Struggling with impulsivity or any other behavior problem can affect the way a child perceives himself. Explain to your child that many people experience these problems, and that self-control can improve over time by working on themselves. Talk to your child about their strengths and don't forget to celebrate even small progress as your child works on gaining self-control.

What's next?

There are many ways to help your child. To start, start writing down your observations about how the child behaves at home. This way you can get a better idea of ​​why your child may be having difficulty with self-control.

​

For example, if you think your child's impulsiveness is due to being upset, try monitoring his behavior. This way you will be able to detect patterns in its behavior over time. nine0005

​

If you find a pattern that has been going on for a while, you might want to discuss it with someone. Your child's teacher or doctor can provide observations and help with helpful suggestions.

Modern neurological techniques such as Fast ForWord can also help you manage your child's impulsivity. Classes according to this technique not only correct impulsivity, but also develop concentration, memory, information processing, reduce hyperactivity - all these skills, as a rule, are urgently needed to develop children with ADD / ADHD. nine0005

Look at the interim results of the CDIG correction using FAST Forword:

Each column displays the student’s condition by key skills:

A - attention

tons - consistency of actions

I - impulsiveness

9000 H - hyperreactivity

Terminals

  • Improving self-control may help the child feel better.

  • Some children cannot help but be impulsive, but they can learn to control themselves. nine0005

  • Observe your child's behavior and share your observations with your child's teacher or doctor, or others close to your child.

​

​

Source

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Sign up for trial online Fast ForWord classes - help your child gain self-control!

How to control impulsivity? 8 tips to help / Clinical Psychology

The ability to think before acting is not a gift that all people have. When emotions creep into us, it can be very difficult not to get carried away by impulses, which is why we can often make decisions that we may regret shortly afterward. .

However, being able to control the impulsiveness that sometimes invades our mind is not at all an impossible task, so we offer a number of guidelines or recommendations that can help us calm this sense of urgency.

  • Related article: "Emotional Control Techniques: 10 Effective Strategies"

What do we mean by impulsiveness??

In psychology, impulsivity is defined as a cognitive style that is characterized by an individual's predisposition to act significantly quickly, unexpectedly, and excessively, which implies a lack of prior reflection and an inability to foresee the consequences or consequences of one's actions. can be assumed. nine0005

However, this reaction should not always occur, but is usually typical of Highly emotional situations or contexts or prior to events that may be perceived as threatening by the person.

According to various theories that we can find in cognitive psychology, impulsivity is conceptualized as a multifactorial feature that encompasses all types of behavior carried out without a process of reasoning or prior reflection. In the same way, this mode of action nullifies any possibility to foresee and take into account the undesirable effects of such behavior. nine0005

However, not all impulsive behaviors are necessarily associated with negative consequences. There are certain occasions when it is necessary to act quickly and spontaneously; those moments when we don't have too much time to assess whether our response will be adequate or not because we don't know the consequences until we've implemented them.

Therefore, the secret is not to abuse compulsive behavior because it creates a habit, but to distinguish between what times they are suitable and what are not..

Although impulsivity can be considered as a personality trait, so it should not be pathological There are a number of disorders or mental disorders that include this mode of acting as one of its characteristic symptoms. These include bipolar disorder, autism, ADHD, or borderline and antisocial personality disorders.

8 Tips for Controlling Impulsivity

Fortunately, there are a number of guidelines people with high impulsivity can follow to help control emotional behavior. Next we will see a series of suggestions for not allowing ourselves to be carried away by our impulses :

1. Knowing what causes it

The first step to start a series of changes in our way of acting impulsively is knowing what stimuli or situations trigger this behavior . The reason is that it will always be much easier to avoid what we can predict.

A good way to start is to record all those situations in which we acted impulsively, noting what situation or stimulus triggered that response, how we felt, and what our response or course of action was. nine0005

In this way, we will be aware of events and emotions that increase our impulsivity, so by detecting these situations early, we can respond more effectively.

2. Count to three

Once we become aware of situations that give rise to all sorts of impulsive reactions in us, we can begin to change our reactions.

The main characteristic of impulsiveness is that the answer is given very quickly, without causing any reflections , so our first step is to learn how to delay the appearance of the specified response.

Although it seems easier said than done, just trying to skip a few seconds, our brain is able to reflect briefly and our emotions will be much calmer. In this way, we will improve our ability to deal with tension, emotions, and thoughts that trigger an impulsive response.

For it to be effective and become a routine we must constantly carry out this scheme in all situations, regardless of haste or necessity. nine0005

3. Generate independent instructions

Unfortunately, in many cases it happens that, although we have succeeded in fulfilling the two previous principles, our impulsiveness can arise in a similar way. Because thanks to them we can delay our response, but not make it disappear.

Therefore. What can we do to respond equally effectively? Use self instructions . Explaining to ourselves what steps we can take or how we will react to a situation will allow us to reflect and understand whether this is an effective response or not. nine0005

Developing internal language dynamics or even verbalizing aloud allows us to become aware of our thoughts and therefore correct them more easily.

  • Related Article: "The 10 Most Used Cognitive Behavioral Techniques"

5. Take advantage of our energy

In some cases, the problem of impulsivity is given by excess energy in a person , which releases it at the least appropriate time. Knowing this, people who feel identified with this pattern of behavior can channel that energy through exercise..

Activities that require a lot of energy can be useful in learning to control our impulsivity and use it only when it is really appropriate.

6. Try to relax

channel your excess energy, you can try to reduce the tension that this causes. Doing relaxation exercises, meditation or activities such as yoga will allow us to maintain a natural state of relaxation that will help reduce impulsive reactions.

Learn more