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Men Can Be Victims of Abuse Too

At the Hotline, we know that domestic violence can affect anyone – including men. According to the CDC, one in seven men age 18+ in the U.S. has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in his lifetime. One in 10 men has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner. In 2013, 13% of documented contacts to The Hotline identified themselves as male victims.

Although they make up a smaller percentage of callers to The Hotline, there are likely many more men who do not report or seek help for their abuse, for a variety of reasons:

Men are socialized not to express their feelings or see themselves as victims.

Our culture still clings to narrow definitions of gender (although there are signs that this is slowly shifting). Young boys are taught not to express their emotions, to “suck it up” and “be a man. ” Tony Porter calls this the “man box” in his well-known TED talk. This can be extremely detrimental to boys as they age, especially if they find themselves in an abusive relationship. Men may feel discouraged to talk about what’s going on in their personal lives, or they feel like no one will believe them. They may not even realize that they are being abused, or they might assume they should just deal with the abuse on their own.

Pervading beliefs or stereotypes about men being abusers, women being victims.

The majority of domestic violence stories covered by the media are about male perpetrators and female victims who are typically in heterosexual relationships. While we certainly don’t want to minimize this violence, focusing on only one type of situation renders invisible the many scenarios that do not fit this definition, including abusive relationships among homosexual, bisexual, and trans* men. This might make many victims feel like they don’t have the space or the support to speak out about their own experiences and seek help.

The abuse of men is often treated as less serious, or a “joke.”

We’ve seen this in action in pop culture. When a man is abused, many people don’t take it as seriously (in part due to the previous two reasons we’ve mentioned). The truth is, abuse is not a joke, in any situation, between any two people. All victims deserve support and resources to help them feel safe.

Many believe there are no resources or support available for male victims.

It can seem like the majority of shelters and services for domestic violence victims are women-focused. However, services for male victims do exist. Most federal funding sources require that domestic violence services be provided to all victims of abuse. Our advocates can provide information, assist with safety planning, and/or find local resources, if available. They can also help brainstorm alternative options if local programs are not meeting the requirements for male victims, including who a caller may be able to contact if they believe they have experienced discrimination.

No matter what your situation is, The Hotline is here to help, confidentially and without judgment. Please give us a call anytime, or chat online with us 24/7/365.

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Domestic Violence Statistics - The Hotline

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Our years of experience offering 24/7 support, information, and advocacy for people in abusive relationships have been informed by the hard realities of domestic violence. Relationship abuse is ugly, even (and especially) when it comes from the people we love. The more informed we keep ourselves and others, the more prepared we’ll be to recognize and stop abuse when it happens. The following domestic violence statistics help inform our work.

Learn the facts about domestic violence. The statistics on this page have been compiled from various sources. You can find the citations by clicking the drop down for the statistic.

General statistics

An average of 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a single year.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner and reported it having a related impact on their functioning.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Just under 15% of women (14.8%) and 4% of men in the US have been injured as a result of intimate partner violence that included rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the US have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Intimate partner violence alone affects more than 12 million people every year.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Almost half of all women and men in the US have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively).

Black, M. C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Women ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

From 1994 to 2010, approximately 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female.

http://www. ncjrs.gov/App/publications/abstract.aspx?ID=261262

Most female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the same offender at rates of 77% for women ages 18 to 24, 76% for ages 25 to 34, and 81% for ages 35 to 49.

http://www.ncjrs.gov/App/publications/abstract.aspx?ID=261262

Sexual violence statistics

Nearly 1 in 5 women (18.3%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) have been raped in their lifetime.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Nearly 1 in 10 women (9.4%) in the US have been raped by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

81% of women who experienced rape, stalking, or physical violence from an intimate partner reported significant impacts (short-term or long-term) like injuries or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

35% of men reported the same significant impacts from experiences of rape, stalking, or physical violence from an intimate partner.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

More than half (51.1%) of female victims of rape reported being raped by an intimate partner; 40.8% reported being raped by an acquaintance.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S. G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

For male victims, 52.4% reported being raped by an acquaintance; 15.1% reported being raped by a stranger.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Estimates suggest 13% of women and 6% of men will experience sexual coercion (unwanted sexual penetration after being pressured in a non-physical way) in their lifetime; 27. 2% of women and 11.7% of men experience unwanted sexual contact.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Stalking statistics

1 in 6 women (16.2%) and 1 in 19 men (5.2%) in the US have been a victim of stalking at some point during their lifetime in which they felt fearful or believed that they (or someone close to them) would be harmed or killed.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Two-thirds (66.2%) of female stalking victims were stalked by current or former intimate partners.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Men who were stalked were primarily stalked by partners (41.4%) or acquaintances (40%).

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The most common stalking tactic experienced by both female (78.8%) and male (75.9%) victims of stalking was repeated unwanted phone calls, voice, or text messages.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Estimates suggest 10.7% of women and 2.1% of men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S. G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Child statistics

Children witnessed violence in nearly 1 in 4 (22%) intimate partner violence cases filed in state courts.

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/newsroom/pressreleases/2009/BJS10007.htm

30% to 60% of intimate partner violence perpetrators also abuse children in the household.

https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/213503.pdf

40% of child abuse victims also report experiencing domestic violence.

http://www.unicef.org/protection/files/BehindClosedDoors.pdf

One study found that children exposed to violence in the home were 15 times more likely to be physically and/or sexually assaulted than the national average.

http://www.unicef.org/protection/files/BehindClosedDoors.pdf

According to the US Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect, domestic violence may be the single major precursor to fatalities from child abuse and neglect in the US.

http://www.unicef.org/protection/files/BehindClosedDoors.pdf

Teen and young adult statistics

9.4% of high school students reported being hit, slapped, or physically hurt intentionally by their partner in the previous 12 months.

cdc

Approximately 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men who experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.

http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/datingmatters_flyer_2012-a.pdf

More than a quarter (28%) of male victims of completed rape were first raped when they were 10 years old or younger.

http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_overview_insert_final-a.pdf

Approximately 35% of women who were raped as minors were also raped as adults, compared to 14% of women without an early rape history.

http://www. cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_overview_insert_final-a.pdf

The majority (79.6%) of female victims of completed rape experienced their first rape before the age of 25; 42.2% experienced their first completed rape before the age of 18.

http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_overview_insert_final-a.pdf

1 in 10 high school students has experienced physical violence from a dating partner in the past year.

http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/datingmatters_flyer_2012-a.pdf

Most female (69%) and male (53%) victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner had their first experience with intimate partner violence before the age of 25.

http://www. cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_overview_insert_final-a.pdf

43% of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

Nearly 1 in 3 college women (29%) say they’ve been in an abusive dating relationship .

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

52% of college women report knowing a friend who’s experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.

https://www. loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

57% of college students who report experiencing dating violence and abuse said it occurred in college.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

58% of college students say they don’t know what to do to help someone who is a victim of dating abuse.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

38% of college students say they don’t know how to get help for themselves if they experience dating abuse as a victim.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

Over half of all college students (57%) say it’s difficult to identify dating abuse.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

36% of dating college students have given a dating partner their computer, email, or social media passwords; these students are more likely to experience digital dating abuse.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

1 in 5 college women has been verbally abused by a dating partner.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

1 in 6 college women (16%) has been sexually abused in a dating relationship.

https://www. loveisrespect.org/pdf/College_Dating_And_Abuse_Final_Study.pdf

Victims of digital abuse and harassment are twice as likely to be physically abused, twice as likely to be psychologically abused, and 5 times as likely to be sexually coerced.

http://www.urban.org/UploadedPDF/412750-teen-dating-abuse.pdf

Almost 1 in 10 teens in relationships reports having a partner tamper with their social media account, which constitutes the most frequent form of harassment or abuse.

http://www.urban.org/UploadedPDF/412750-teen-dating-abuse.pdf

Just 1 in 5 victims say they experienced digital abuse or harassment at school during school hours; most takes places away from school grounds.

http://www. urban.org/UploadedPDF/412750-teen-dating-abuse.pdf

Approximately 84% of victims are psychologically abused by their partners; half are physically abused and one third experiences sexual coercion.

http://www.urban.org/UploadedPDF/412750-teen-dating-abuse.pdf

Only 4% of victims experience only digital abuse or harassment. Social media, texts, and emails provide abusive partners with just another tool to cause harm.

http://www.urban.org/UploadedPDF/412750-teen-dating-abuse.pdf

Mental health statistics

Survivors are 3 times as likely to meet the criteria for PTSD.

Fedovskiy, K., Higgins, S. , Paranjape, A. (2008). Intimate partner violence: How does it impactmajor depressive disorder and post traumatic stress disorder among immigrant Latinas? Journalof Immigrant and Minority Health, 10(1), 45-51.

Survivors are 2 times more likely to develop symptoms of depression and 3 times more likely to develop a major depressive order.

Beydoun, H.A., Beydoun, M.A., Kaufman, J.S., Lo, B, Zonderman, A.B. (2012). Intimate partnerviolence against adult women and its association with major depressive disorder, depressivesymptoms and postpartum depression: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Social Science &Medicine, 75(6), 959-975.

Survivors are 3 times more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors.

Boyle, A., Jones, P., Lloyd, S. (2006). The association between domestic violence and self-harm inemergency medicine patients. Emergency Medicine Journal, 23, 604–607.

Survivors are 3 times more likely to have suicidal thoughts and 4 times more likely to attempt suicide.

Ellsberg, M., Jansen, H.A., Heise, L., Watts, C.H., Garcia-Moreno C; WHO Multi-country Study onWomen’s Health and Domestic Violence against Women Study Team. (2008). Intimate partnerviolence and women’s physical and mental health in the WHO multi-country study on women’shealth and domestic violence: An observational study. Lancet, 371(9619), 1165-1172.

Survivors are 3 times more likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

Bonomi, A.E., Anderson, M.L., Reid, R.J., Rivara, F.P., Carrell, D., Thompson, R.S. (2009). Medicaland psychosocial diagnoses in women with a history of intimate partner violence. Archives ofInternal Medicine, 169(18), 1692-1697.

Survivors are 6 times more likely to have a substance use disorder.

Bonomi, A.E., Anderson, M.L., Reid, R.J., Rivara, F.P., Carrell, D., Thompson, R.S. (2009). Medicaland psychosocial diagnoses in women with a history of intimate partner violence. Archives ofInternal Medicine, 169(18), 1692-1697.

More statistics.

National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health.

Workplace statistics

Current or former intimate partners accounted for nearly 33% of women killed in US workplaces between 2003 and 2008.

http://www. annalsofepidemiology.org/article/S1047-2797(12)00024-5/abstract

In 2005, nearly 1 in 4 large private industry establishments reported at least one instance of domestic violence, including threats and assaults.

http://www.bls.gov/iif/oshwc/osnr0026.pdf

44% of full-time employed adults in the US reported experiencing the effect of domestic violence in their workplace; 21% identified themselves as victims of intimate partner violence.

http://www.caepv.org/getinfo/facts_stats.php?factsec=3

A 2005 survey found that 64% of respondents who identified themselves as victims of domestic violence indicated that their ability to work was affected by the violence. 57% of domestic violence victims said they were distracted; almost half (45%) feared being discovered, and 2 in 5 were afraid of an unexpected visit by their intimate partner (either by phone or in person).

http://www.caepv.org/getinfo/facts_stats.php?factsec=3

Nearly two thirds of corporate executives (63%) say that domestic violence is a major problem in society; 55% cite its harmful impact on productivity in their companies.

http://www.caepv.org/about/program_detail.php?refID=34

91% of employees say that domestic violence has a negative impact on their company’s bottom line; just 43% of corporate executives agree. 71% of corporate executives do not perceive domestic violence as a major issue at their company.

http://www.caepv.org/about/program_detail.php?refID=34

Over 70% of US workplaces don’t have a formal program or policy to address workplace violence.

http://www.bls.gov/iif/oshwc/osnr0026.pdf

Domestic violence issues lead to nearly 8 million lost days of paid work each year, the equivalent of over 32,000 full-time jobs.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/pub-res/ipv_cost/IPVBook-Final-Feb18.pdf

96% of employed domestic violence victims experience problems at work because of the abuse.

http://www.clicktoempower.org/domestic-violence-facts.aspx

Firearm statistics

Women in the US are 11 times more likely to be killed with guns than women in other high-income countries.

http://pubmed. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20571454

Female intimate partners are more likely to be killed with a firearm than all other means combined.

http://www.vpc.org/studies/wmmw2012.pdf

The presence of a gun in domestic violence situations increases the risk of homicide for women by 500%. More than half of women killed by gun violence are killed by family members or intimate partners.

http://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12835191

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How to call a man who insults a woman - Relationships

How many articles are devoted to real representatives of the stronger sex, but besides them there are those who, although they belong to the male sex, do not behave like men. They allow themselves to be rude, insult and offend women. There is no excuse for this, since they are stronger, but you can only fight this phenomenon by understanding what is the reason that makes them behave so low. So, what do psychologists say on the topic "why do men offend and humiliate women"? Let's look into this issue right now. nine0003

The reasons for any actions and deeds are always hidden in the depths of a person's subconscious, and often he does not realize them until a moment comes that forces him to think why life is not the way he would like, and people around him react negatively to him. At this moment, there is a chance to change for the better. Unfortunately, to recognize the very fact that a person is doing something wrong is a great success. Subconscious processes are well hidden from people, and the eternal rush, which does not allow you to stop for a minute to think about whether you are going the right way, generally deprives you of any chance to learn something very important about yourself. nine0003

Understanding and realizing the hidden motives of behavior and actions can be done with the help of introspection, psychologists or other people who are able to say from the outside in a calm manner that a person is behaving selfishly and hurting others. The only problem is that such people, especially males, do not want to hear what they are told, and even more so go to a psychologist (they are not sick) or engage in introspection (wasting time on incomprehensible nonsense), they are deeply convinced that they are doing everything right, and it is those whom they offend, react incorrectly, or are themselves to blame. nine0003

Gently tell the man that he is humiliating

Change the situation by making them think about their behavior for at least a minute, only by peaceful means. In moments of calm, just voice that you, as his beloved woman, are hurt by his words and actions. You must tell him that he offends and humiliates you. It is important to say all this calmly, choosing words that accurately reflect your feelings and hint to him at the possible reason for his behavior, so that he understands what to pay attention to in order to make sure that you or your own are right. Here, as they say, how it will turn out. nine0003

Attempts to convey your disappointment to him with the help of screams, in a state of rage, when you want to tear and throw from resentment and pain, will be in vain. When people are yelled at, whether justifiably or not, they turn on a defense mechanism, or they stop perceiving what they are being told at all, as they subconsciously understand that negative things will be poured on them that will cause harm, or they will enter into a skirmish to silence the other and intimidate, because they become scared at this moment themselves. nine0003

Why is this happening

All these processes are subconscious, therefore people are not aware of them, they happen instantly, but knowing about them in advance, there is a chance to avoid new quarrels, because they will definitely not be able to solve the problem. But in order to tell everything in a calm atmosphere, when the right moment comes, hinting at what is happening to the person himself, because it’s not easy for him to behave this way, you need to know what reasons most often make men offend and humiliate women, what provoked them and how they can be dealt with. nine0003

Only weak men humiliate women

Psychologists agree that only weak men, unsure of themselves, unloved in childhood, used to such a model of behavior, behaved like their father or men who replaced him in childhood if the boy grew up alone. People who love themselves know how to feel someone else's pain, even if they are strong men who are used to not expressing their emotions and pity too often. They have no need to raise their own self-esteem at the expense of others. nine0003

If they have suddenly lost some love, but they still have love for themselves, they will find another way to increase it without offending anyone, especially women. Insulting and humiliating another person, you, first of all, lower yourself. Worthy, self-respecting people will never allow themselves such behavior.

To offend and humiliate a woman… Such a way of solving internal problems is chosen by weak representatives of the stronger sex, who are even too lazy to think about the problems that await them if they continue to behave like tyrants in the future. For some reason, living in a society where such an attitude towards the obviously weak is not encouraged, but, on the contrary, is condemned, sometimes quietly, but condemnation is always present, such men do not bother to think about why they allow themselves such behavior and really whether they are sure that this will continue forever and does not threaten them with anything. nine0003

They may think that they are not doing anything wrong, only because they are afraid to admit that they are still bad people, they are too lazy to take care of themselves, because this is also a kind of recognition of their shortcomings. This behavior is cultivated for a reason, it is based on the fact that women who are humiliated by such men are used to behaving like victims. They do not accept their behavior so as not to worry about him, and do not give them a rebuff, either verbal or forceful, at least in the form of parting with them and deleting them from their lives. nine0003

The status of the victim keeps the woman silent


The reluctance to voice justified claims and grievances arising from his behavior in a calm environment is due to the fact that then you will have to make a decision: to stay and not pay more attention, since she loves him so much, or leave. And it’s scary to do this, because the status of the victim gives her a lot of advantages, especially since her mother also behaved, and such a model of behavior is absolutely familiar. Who wants to admit that she is also to blame for the fact that she is constantly offended, and she continues to endure it, without even trying to think, maybe something is wrong with her too. nine0003

Such behavior of women allows men to offend and humiliate them further, as they feel their impunity.

Top 5 conclusions of psychologists

What do psychologists say, why do men offend and humiliate women?


  • So, only women are not always to blame, after all, they don’t provoke such behavior towards themselves on purpose, and only then they react in the best way they can, leave or suffer from too much patience and fear of losing even such a bad but still a man. Unfortunately, our society still continues to evaluate the value of a woman by the presence of a man next to her or his absence. nine0042
  • It is worth mentioning that a normal man will never humiliate and offend a woman, no matter how she behaves and no matter how tolerant and kind to others. Those who behave rudely are those who themselves inside feel their own inferiority, which they are trying to get rid of by humiliating those who are obviously weaker than them. Without meeting a rebuff, they generally cease to see the boundaries and continue to violate them more and more subtly.
  • Men allow themselves to offend and humiliate a woman because their status is not as high as they would like. And they are trying to rise in order to feel on top at least against someone else's background. And since it is much easier for them to show strength and rudeness towards someone who depends on them, especially since it is easier than trying to achieve the status they need, they are trying their best. nine0042
  • They are afraid to fight difficulties, compete and compete with other members of the stronger sex, because they are not sure of themselves and their success, but since their ambitions are generally huge against this background, they need to throw out the accumulated dissatisfaction with themselves and those around them. And a woman looking at him with loving eyes and expressing complete submission ... What could be better for his anger?! No one will rebuff him, will not object, will not say that it is time for you, dear, to take care of your own self-esteem, so as not to remain lonely, as any women will run away from you, tired of enduring humiliation. So they humiliate women when their subconscious discontent begins to corrode the soul, and this happens often, while the disease - low self-esteem - remains uncured. nine0042
  • Some men, due to low self-esteem, experience the fear of losing their beloved, and in order to prevent this from happening, instead of getting rid of fear, which is done again by increasing their own self-esteem and self-love, they begin to humiliate, offend and criticize a woman. In other words, destroy her self-esteem to such an extent that she herself believes that no one else will need such a wrong one. It just happens all the time, because his fear does not disappear anywhere, and he continues to try with all his might, turning a woman into a downtrodden and insecure creature, completely dependent on him. nine0042

However, whatever the cause, according to psychologists, those ladies who respect themselves and do not want to tolerate such an attitude should remember that there are no excuses for men allowing themselves to humiliate and insult women. They do this because of their promiscuity and unwillingness to respect others, no matter how much they are asked not to do this, and no matter how society tries to raise worthy men with high cultural and moral values. Only a person who is not able to respect, first of all, himself, can afford a boorish and rude attitude towards another person. Love yourself, dear ladies, appreciate yourself, take care of yourself. After all, how can others love and respect you if you don’t do it yourself?! nine0003

Source: zen.yandex.ru

Rude words, expressions and adjectives for humiliation, insults to disgrace, put a person in his place: list

In general, there are many options for how to humiliate a boor, with the help of caustic phrases.

Ideas for insult:


  • Humiliate male potency. There are enough options here, it is only necessary to hint at a weak potency and connect it with the brains.
  • Indicate failure. nine0069 People who earn little, react very painfully to the fact that they are pointed to small incomes.
  • Show ignorance. Well, here you can tease about the relatively low level of education. Show that the person speaks incorrectly and makes mistakes.

Ways to offend a person:

  • You are a spiritual impotent
  • You are not able to earn even for matches
  • You are unable to buy your dinner

Clever words and cool phrases to shut up, morally humiliate, call names, offend, insult a girl, woman

Offend a woman by pointing out the flaws in her appearance. There is no need to say that she is ugly. You can hint at it. Hidden subtext is always more humiliating than direct words.

Examples:

  • I would offend you, but I think the mirror offends you every day
  • It happens that there is no mind, but God did not endow beauty
  • When God created you, apparently he used a heel instead of a rib

You can also hint to a woman about her not quite right way of life. This will be most welcome for her husband's mistress or homeowner.

Examples:

  • Contact someone like you - disgrace yourself
  • Beauty you lost 20 more men ago
  • You are a disgrace to parents
  • Yes, not a single standing man will look in your direction
    • nine0041 Who needs you. Only a lazy man did not hang out with you
  • You are a man's bedding under your feet

How beautifully and competently to send off a guy, a man?

Young and beautiful girls often face rudeness and very obsessive advances. Some men don't understand the word "no".

Options:

  • Do you want to come to me or to your place? Then let's do this: you to yourself, and I to myself
  • Would you like to see off? Well, you can keep me company and go to the tanning dispensary
  • Do you want to date me? Do you know what to do if you have an epileptic seizure?
  • Ready to go with me to the ends of the world? Well, go, it's free there
  • Want to meet? You can chat with my boyfriend first

How to smartly stop, close your mouth, make a person shut up?

There are many options to besiege a person without the use of fists and swear words.

Variants:

  • Didn't you accidentally scare Babai in your childhood? nine0042
  • Oh, apparently you don't know that it's better to be friends with me?
  • You need to lead a special column that goes to ...
  • If you don't call me today, I will call, but not you
  • I'm interested in the opinion of those I ask. I didn't ask you
  • If you want to be rude, go to the trash can, talk to the dogs
  • You need it to go crazy
  • Don't touch my virtues with your faults

How to offend a person to tears?

If someone beats you up or does it all the time, don't be upset. Repay the offender with his coin.

Options:

  • When God created men, you were last in line. Mind gone
  • If you were a decent man, your wife would be happy
  • No, you are not a woman, but a little thing for frequent rental
  • You have not been established yet in the womb, so you cannot be strong

How to politely send a person?

If you do not want to send obscenities, you can simply make the person not want to communicate with you.

Receptions:

  • Say “yeah”, “of course”. Do not carry on a conversation
  • Try to move the topic in an uninteresting direction for the interlocutor
  • Another good trick is to talk only about yourself and constantly interrupt your partner

How to respond to rudeness, resentment and insults without swearing with clever words? nine0009

You can see more about this in the video.

Is it smart to say that he is stupid, stupid?

You can answer with quotes from famous people. There is no need to humiliate or insult. It is enough to correctly lead a person to what he says is wrong. Below are quotes from famous people.

How to replace mats with buzzwords?

Here are a few ways to avoid swear words:

Instead of: OH…SHOT!
I must say: I'M AMAZED!

nine0002 Instead: THESE P….GIFTS!
We must say: IN THIS CASE THEY ARE NOT RIGHT!

Instead of: WHAT THE FUCK…. TH DIFFERENCE!
I must say: THE DIFFERENCE IS NOT PRINCIPAL…

Instead of: F…HERE!
Need to say: oops, a LITTLE COLLAPSE IS OUT…

Instead of: FUCK YOU….Y!
Should say: PLEASE DON'T DISTRACT ME!

Instead: FOR…BALI!
We must say: SORRY, BUT YOU ARE TOO INTERRUPTIVE!

Instead of: WHAT THE HELL….YNYA?!
It is necessary to say: I SEEMS SOMETHING ERROR! nine0003

Instead of: FUCK!
I must say: I AM OVERCOMING EMOTIONS!

Instead of: DISCOVER….ZDYAI!
I must say: YOUR DEGREE OF RESPONSIBILITY LEAVES THE BEST!

If you know psychology well and have a decent vocabulary, then there will be no need to use fists. Everything can be solved by talking.

Source: babyben.ru

Valery, test! I have nothing against men, I do not declare war, I want to UNDERSTAND! It is a pity that the girls are silent, I will speak for them. It has long been known to everyone that when there is a candy-bouquet period, men are MACHO itself. They are well looked after, filled with divine trills, promise to give a star, "attach" wings to the girl's back. Of course, the girl is all in a "pink cloud in love", sight, smell, hearing, everything is "clothed with feeling", believes, hopes, says that HE is the best, just others do not know him. They do not see the first signs of rot in their loved one: swearing in the presence of a girl and her friends is already a pattern in our lives, grubs, smelly cigarettes, an untidy appearance, nothing to cover up KAMLO, this is at least visible. And it happens the other way around: a cold, pedantic, neat, well-mannered young man gives good gifts, protects the dignity of a girlfriend from encroachment by someone, but .... They are friends for a year or two, this is still found in our time, then a wedding, mutually agreed. We got married ... and it begins ... first "stupid", then "went to ...", then "shut up your child", "I'm with my friends", the first slap in the face, then a beating, "don't you dare wear it", "why did you buy it", "nowhere don't you dare go, neither to your mother, nor to your friends, "well, let's go . .. Wings break off from the back with bloody flesh, the light of love in the eyes is extinguished, the smile is erased from the face. How many "die and break" women's souls and bodies, how many tears are "wound around the fist"? How much dirt and insults and obscenities do girlish ears and the ears of a small child listen to? Why is that? Why, after a stamp in the passport, a girl quickly ceases to be a beloved, desired, respected PERSON, and not a thing? Here's what I can't understand. I was lucky, I met a real man, I didn’t experience any of the above, but in front of my eyes an example of girlfriends, familiar women and their daughters. Where did the real feelings go? Where did the real MACHOs disappear, why are there more and more schmucks and CHO MAM? Why do men give up their positions and try to maintain their priorities by unfair use of force, cruelty, violence? After all, for dreams to come true, you just need to have a loving wizard nearby, and not a talkative storyteller, and even worse, a limited tyrant. So I would like to hear from the young, those who are just embarking on this path - love, relationships, family - why can't you be a LOVING WIZARD (TSEY)? nine0003

Source: vk.com


Why a loving man insults a woman after parting

From love to hate, as you know, one step. At the beginning of a relationship, under the influence of love euphoria, men and women do not always notice each other's shortcomings. They only investigate the person they have chosen as their partner.

Photo by Olya Prutskova: Pexels

Therefore, it is unfair to throw reproaches in the style of “knew whom I chose”, “it was immediately clear”, “why did you even have to start everything?”. Not always a person opens up right away. Maybe he would not have become what he became if it were not for the influence of another person. Or maybe just a good disguise. nine0003

It is a great success if a lover immediately shows his true face. No need to console yourself with the hope that he will change. You need to cut everything right away. But why do women most often suffer the humiliation that comes from a man who, it would seem, loves?

In this article:

Reasons for abuseHow not to lose yourselfWhat to do if a man insultsIs it worth saving a sinking relationship ship?

Causes of insults

To understand the subtle spiritual organization of a man who is next to you, you need to understand the reasons for his behavior:

  • Self-affirmation.

Self-affirmation in this life is important for every person. And for men, this need is especially high. That's just strong and self-confident men assert themselves by creating a strong family, their careers, and the ability to take responsibility for all their actions. And weak and mentally unstable men, unable to achieve all this, take revenge on loved ones.

Most often, wives or girls are subjected to psychological abuse by a weakling. The competition for who will be the leader in the family can manifest itself at different stages of the relationship. In this case, a man has no understanding of what is good and what is bad, and this indicates a mental disorder. nine0003

Why does a man humiliate his girlfriend?

  • Demonstration of strength.

When a man has no opportunity to compete in courage and strength with other men, he chooses the path of least resistance. Namely: breaks down on a woman. Against their background, they believe that they look powerful, strong leaders. But strong men will never exercise that power through insults, ridicule, or criticism. Only opposite actions really show strength. nine0003

A man is pushed to destructive actions: low self-esteem, lack of attention, self-doubt. And many of them do not understand at all that the manifestation of brute force does not make them a strong male in the eyes of women.

  • Rivalry.

A weak man hardly accepts a woman who is stronger than him. A woman who has more attention, who has a better financial situation, a stable career. He can't rise to her level, let alone be higher. And therefore, a weakling decides not to change himself, but to change a woman, destroying her self-esteem. nine0003

  • Fear of loss.

Everyone is afraid of losing a loved one. Although here, most likely, there is a fear of being alone. And it is for this reason that a man can begin to humiliate his woman. Having begun to endure insults and all kinds of humiliation every day, a woman loses her self-esteem. With his rudeness, a man shows that this is exactly what she deserves, that this is the height of what she can expect, and that no one else will love her except him.

  • Jealousy and love.

Jealousy in moderation is not an indicator of a lack of love or some kind of self-doubt. It's just a natural fear of losing a loved one. But men who experience unhealthy jealousy are often unable to control it. And for this reason, they descend to unfounded reproaches, accusations and show rudeness in every possible way. Often reasons arise from scratch.

  • The character of a woman.

Psychological trauma or lack of upbringing is not always the cause of rude male behavior. nine0003 Photo by the author MART PRODUCTION: Pexels

Both the banal "they didn't get along" and the specific behavior of the woman can serve as a reason for a scandal in the family. If she herself regularly provokes quarrels and squabbles, then here even the most restrained, kind and patient man can fail and demonstrate all his emotions.

  • Lack of education.

Everything always comes from the family. And if a person does not have the ability to think with his own head, then he adopts exactly the same family model that he had. If a man has seen all his childhood how his father humiliates, insults or even beats his mother, then he will do the same with his partners if he considers this the norm and does not want to change. nine0003

  • Low self-esteem of a woman.

If a woman does not accept herself, does not love and humiliates herself in every possible way, then one should not be surprised that she attracts men who allow the same in relation to her. If a man is constantly told “I am ugly / fat / I have dry hair”, then he will begin to pay more and more attention to this. And in the end, he will begin to focus on this.

To get rid of such unpleasant attention, you need to accept your shortcomings, become self-confident. And if you can’t accept it, then work on correcting them and thus regain self-esteem. nine0003 Photo by Budgeron Bach: Pexels

How Not to Lose Yourself

If you experience this kind of behavior in your family, don't blame yourself. Often, a woman in love tries to justify rudeness and rude behavior by any means. She believes that she provoked such an attitude by her own behavior.

Partly so it is. But you still shouldn’t blame yourself, you just need to start correcting it.

If your loved one started insulting and humiliating you, it is because he decided that it is possible to do so, because you will endure everything anyway. You yourself gave him the green light, having missed a couple of offensive words at one time. nine0003

And if you stand in a pose now, you are unlikely to be taken seriously, because you have always endured. And if a calm conversation does not help, then there is no longer any love. So you should not devote the rest of your life to the destruction of your beloved.

Here are a few tips from psychologists that will help you not to lose self-respect, and possibly improve relationships:

  • Alcohol is not an option. He will not remove resentment or irritation, but will only aggravate everything;
  • Develop yourself. In the sphere of their interests, you can include a banal gym and English courses. But the main thing is to find what makes you better and gives you confidence; nine0042
Photo by cottonbro: Pexels
  • Watch motivational films, listen to lectures by psychologists, buy a couple of books on self-development. Look for stories of successful women. The brain absorbs such things like a sponge, as a result of which you really feel an inner uplift;
  • Do not point out your shortcomings to a man. What caught his eye, he already saw;
  • Do not bring a man to a scandal and do not enter into conflict with him. If they happen on a regular basis, then leave. A strong and self-confident woman will always find an equal partner. nine0042

People deserve what they deserve. Therefore, urgently increase self-esteem and self-confidence, start loving and respecting yourself. And then men will treat you accordingly. If you have to break off the current relationship for this, then do not regret it. It is better to be alone than to live in constant discomfort or fear.

What to do if a man insults

The psychology of a man's behavior is, of course, very entertaining. But there is no reason that justifies insulting women. No matter how some guys try to pull an owl on the globe, and no matter how couch experts justify such behavior with the words “itself to blame”, the one who offends is always to blame for insults. nine0003

Once a girl thinks once: “maybe it’s really my fault, you need to be gentler with him, at some point step over yourself, keep silent somewhere” – that’s all, long live the abyss of codependency, to get out of which without professional help psychologist is almost impossible.

So, if you often find yourself in a situation where a man is aggressive. If the psychological pressure becomes too strong. If a person's behavior goes beyond all limits of adequacy. nine0003

If rational questions about the cause of insults are answered with even greater insults. Especially if all this happens in front of a child. If a man ceases to respect, allows himself to treat a woman as a weak person, shows his strength. What to do? Here are some tips:

  • The first thing to do is to say “Stop”. Take it and tell your husband in plain text that you do not intend to continue communication in such tones. Do not allow insults, stop them in the bud. nine0042
  • Don't be like a screaming spouse. No need to start insulting a man in response. In the long term, the absence of a backlash should negate bouts of male aggression. If this does not happen, it means that we are talking about frank psychological violence, and it is time to transfer the partner to the category of the former.
  • Do not provoke if it can be done without harming your interests and health. Do you know that something infuriates a man, and can you do without these provocations? So be wiser. Of course, even with provocative behavior, there is no place for insults. But if they happen only in such situations, it is in your power to correct everything and not bring the circumstances to extremes. nine0042
  • Do not cross the line and do not criticize a man. It is quite possible that the partner is quick-tempered, and insults begin in response to the fact that you speak badly of his loved ones, constantly “poke his nose” at mistakes, do not praise, endlessly saw. Even the most psychologically stable partner will not survive here. Although this, of course, does not justify the insults and psychological violence of a strong man against a weak woman.

Is it worth saving the sinking ship of relationships? nine0009

No one has the right to be rude to another person, insult, allow psychological and even more so physical violence. This is an axiom that needs no proof. But the world is not divided into black and white.

Situations and circumstances are different, and we are not angels, and we cannot always control our emotions. A few people have such iron self-control that even in extreme situations they control themselves.

There is no single correct answer to the question of whether it is worth continuing the relationship if the man insults. It’s also wrong to be terribly offended after the first act of rudeness on the part of a partner - especially if the guy repents and regrets his act. If insults happen all the time, happen in front of children, turn into your way of life - it’s definitely time to change something. It cannot go on like this forever. nine0003

Even if everything is happening at the maximum degree of anger, you need to stop and talk. Often the insults are mutual, and the intensity of passions will quickly subside, you will most likely make peace, and an unpleasant aftertaste will remain.

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