How to be more brave

9 Ways to Conquer Your Fears

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Is fear holding you back from making life-changing decisions?

Is fear always a bad thing?

How to be courageous: 9 ways to become fearless

Learn how to be brave and inspire others

Do you want to meet the best version of yourself? Start by learning how to be brave

Taking steps to live courageously and get out of your comfort zone is the quickest path to reaching your full potential.

The problem is, many of us let our fears get in the way. We don’t go for a job because we’re afraid we’re not qualified enough. Or we don’t make a positive change in our life because we’re afraid of the unknown.

Sound familiar? That’s because we all experience fear. It’s a natural human emotion. But always living in fear of the "what-if" can hold us back in our professional and personal lives.

To overcome our fears requires a little acting. Let’s explore how to be brave and courageous using nine powerful tips.

Is fear holding you back from making life-changing decisions?

Fear can be paralyzing.

The fear of what might happen or making the wrong decision can cause nothing to happen in your life. Instead of moving forward, you retreat to a safe and warm comfort zone and avoid making any major life decisions.

However, getting too attached to your comfort zone can be dangerous. It can hold you back from any kind of personal, professional, and emotional growth.

Personal growth

Each of us is on our own unique journey of personal growth. It’s a continuous process that spans our entire life. Personal growth can mean many things:

Setting and achieving goals
Building your self-esteem
Finding your purpose
Reaching your full potential

Our biggest growth comes from overcoming problems and situations that challenge us.

And that’s when fear sets in. Fear of failing, fear of the unknown — you name it.

When you let fear become a roadblock that gets in the way of your own life, your personal growth gets temporarily stunted. Instead of developing our mental fitness and growing, we retreat into our shells. We also avoid new experiences to avoid uncomfortable feelings.

Eventually, we start to feel unfulfilled because we’re not living an authentic life. Instead of moving forward, we stay in a safe place that we’ve long outgrown.

Professional growth

Fear can also affect different aspects of your professional growth. According to performance strategist Laura Garnett, one of the things that hold you back from being successful is fear of failure

Imagine you’re currently in an unfulfilling role. You know that you need to make a career change, but the thought of failing is keeping you from making a decision. So you stay where you are for another year, or two, or three.

This is just one example of how the fear of failure affects your professional growth. Instead of advancing in your career, developing new skills, and being in a role that aligns with your true potential, you choose to feel safe.

Fear of failure is also tied in with fear of not being good enough. This is another common obstacle in your professional growth that manifests itself as imposter syndrome.

In this scenario, you may be reluctant to take on a leadership role because you don’t believe you’re good enough.

When you let fear run the show in your professional life, it will always keep you from making decisions that drive you forward.

Emotional growth

Avoiding situations that take you out of your comfort zone because you’re afraid affects your emotional growth. You miss out on developing strong emotional skills that you need to succeed in your personal and professional life. These include:

Building resilience
Developing emotional regulation
Improving emotional intelligence
Expanding your self-awareness

Failing to develop on an emotional level can leave you extremely vulnerable to unexpected or stressful situations. This type of chronic and acute stress is known as “bad stress” - the opposite of the good kind of stress that leads to growth.

A lack of resilience, for example, will make you perceive challenges at work as threats instead of opportunities. This affects your job performance and ability to adapt to this new environment.

If you constantly dodge opportunities for emotional growth, you’ll find yourself unable to deal with challenging situations in your personal and professional life.

Is fear always a bad thing?

Fear isn’t always an inherently bad thing. After all, fear is and has been a normal and healthy response to threatening situations since the dawn of time. It triggers our fight-or-flight instincts and keeps us safe from potential dangers.

Today, we don’t feel true fear as often as our cave-dwelling ancestors did. Yet, there are situations when it can manifest as a gut feeling or a sudden instinct.

Imagine you’re walking down the street at night. Your senses pick up subtle signals you may be unsafe and fear sets in. In these instances, listening to your body’s intuition can save your life.

Fear is also a very powerful human emotion. It can guide you towards the part of you that needs the most work. As psychiatrist Carl Jung put it, “Find out what a person fears most, and that is where he will develop next.”

In other words, doing whatever you’re afraid of most leads to your biggest growth as a human being.

For example, If you’re afraid of public speaking, give a presentation in front of dozens of people. It can be extremely empowering and help you develop into a more confident person. Improving and mastering public speaking skills is essential if you want to stay competitive in today’s job market.

On the other hand, when fear consistently holds you back from living your life to the fullest, it becomes a problem.

Often, this fear manifests as anxiety. Anxiety is a consistent response you have to things that may not pose an actual threat to you. And they’re not even immediate threats, but things you anticipate that may not happen.

Some examples of this could be:

Worrying about being negatively judged and ridiculed by others in social settings

Not trying something new because you fear failure and rejection
Fearing change and uncertainty
Not going after what you want because you fear you’re inadequate

This kind of fear keeps you stuck in your comfort zone and robs you of opportunities and experiences that can enhance your life.

Overcoming these common fears doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s certainly achievable.

Can you be brave when you’re afraid?

The words brave and courage are often used interchangeably, but by definition, they’re not the same. Bravery comes with a lack of fear. In contrast, being courageous doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means doing something even though it scares you.

In Nelson Mandela’s own words: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”

Learning how to be courageous in the face of fear takes practice and persistence. Think of it as learning a new skill. Once you’ve mastered it, it can be extremely liberating. Similarly, being brave when the situation calls for it can also be cultivated.

How to be courageous: 9 ways to become fearless

It’s never too late to become fearless and step out of your comfort zone. Here are 10 ways to become a more courageous version of yourself:

1. Acknowledge your fear

Never try to sweep your fear under the rug. It will give it more power.

Instead, you need to acknowledge and accept your fears. We all have them, and there’s no shame in that. Like we mentioned before, bravery is not about eliminating fear but moving forward despite being afraid.

2. Confront it

Confronting your fear is about understanding the underlying reasons why you’re afraid in the first place.

For example, if you’re afraid to ask for a promotion or apply for a new role, ask yourself why. Is it because you may not get it? Are you afraid of rejection, failure, or ridicule?

You’ll soon realize that your fear is often your ego trying to protect itself from feeling diminished. In reality, these experiences can only make you a stronger person, not weaker.

3. Use positive self-talk

Self-talk is that inner voice inside your head that reveals your beliefs and thoughts. When you’re afraid, it means that for a long time, you’ve created a negative stream of self-talk that may look like this:

“I would like to speak up more during meetings, but I’ll probably just say the wrong thing. ”

“I’m not going to that networking event. What if I don’t know anyone there?”

When you start believing these negative thoughts, you sabotage your growth. You must catch these thoughts when they arise and replace them with positive self-talk:

“I am capable of speaking in front of my peers, even if it’s not perfect.”

“It’s okay If I don’t know anyone there. It’s a chance to meet new people and learn.”

Consistent, positive self-talk will build your confidence and your ability to overcome your fears.

4. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

American writer and self-improvement pioneer Dale Carnegie once said, “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it...that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”

So if you’re afraid of being alone, for example, go see a movie by yourself. If you want to be even braver, take a solo trip.

The best way to become fearless is to put yourself in situations that intimidate you. Once you do them despite being afraid, fear will lose power over you.

5. Make being brave a habit

Once you conquer your fear for the first time, don’t stop there. Strengthen your fearlessness like a muscle by overcoming your fears on a regular basis.

In her book Fear Is Not An Option author Monica Berg advises making a list of things that you would do if you weren’t afraid.

Make your own list and start doing those things. Begin with the easiest ones and gradually move up.

When you learn how to live courageously, you’ll realize how much you were missing out on because fear was getting in the way.

6. Practice mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness in all areas of your life means always staying grounded in the present moment. Mindfulness practices like breathwork and meditation can help you relieve worries and anxiety.

Mindfulness teacher and author of “The Power of Now explains that fear is completely mind-made.

You’re always afraid of what might happen, not what is actually happening in the present moment. The fear he refers to is not an immediate danger. He’s talking about feelings of unease, anxiety, or worry about a future made-up problem.

When you practice mindfulness, you learn to observe these thoughts. You also learn not to let them take over you and turn your fear into a worst-case scenario.

7. Find a mentor

Do you know anyone in your personal or professional life whose fearlessness and confidence you admire? Build a mentorship relationship with them.

They can offer valuable advice and teach you how to be fearless and brave.

8. Embrace failure

We’re often afraid to do something because we’re afraid of failure. We try to do it once, and as soon as we fail, we give up.

Instead of fearing failure, we need to make the most of it and turn it into a learning opportunity.

So how do we do that? Start by building resilience.

Resilient people try not to be hard on themselves when they don’t succeed and have a growth mindset. When you have a growth mindset, you believe you can learn through your failures and try again.

9. Don’t aim for perfection

To overcome fear, try to approach anything you do with a beginner's mind.

Next time you want to try something you fear, don’t have any expectations of how it’s going to go. Approach it with a sense of curiosity and don’t worry about the outcome.

Learning not to judge an outcome as good or bad will take the fear of failure out of the equation.

Instead of aiming for perfection, aim to learn and grow.

Learn how to be brave and inspire others

Learning how to be brave doesn’t mean not being afraid. It means taking action despite feeling afraid.

It’s seeing fear as an opportunity instead of a roadblock — an opportunity for personal, professional, and emotional growth. Fear can guide you towards the areas of your life that need the most work.

Practicing positive self-talk or putting yourself in challenging situations are small but powerful steps to build self-confidence and become a brave person.

What steps will you take today to challenge yourself and others?

A BetterUp coach can help you develop the skills you need to overcome fear and reach your full potential.

Request a demo to get started.

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WRITTEN BY:

AMY RIGBY

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Sounds enticing, right? With guaranteed success, you might tackle opening up your own business, learn a musical instrument you’ve always wanted to try, or tell your boss you’re ready for a promotion. But, in the real world, we let fear of failure hold us back from pursuing our dreams. Let’s face it—it’s hard to be brave and take risks.

Think about how fear is holding you back in your own life. Maybe you hesitate to take courageous steps due to fear of the unknown, of what other people might say, or of course, because of the possibility of failure. However, giving in to your fears will only keep things as they are and may hinder you from going after ambitious goals that will propel you forward.

The good news is bravery can be learned if you regularly push yourself outside of your comfort zone. If that doesn't come naturally to you (or the thought alone makes your palms clammy), this guide highlights the difference courage can make in your personal and professional life and shares actionable tips on how you can summon your courage and become the bravest version of yourself.

Table of contents

Why bravery matters (both personally and professionally) How to be brave: 8 strategies to muster your adventurous spirit and conquer your fears Remember that fear isn’t always a bad thing The bravest move is to get started

Why bravery matters (both personally and professionally)

Your comfort zone is, well, comfortable. So, what's the point in leaving that safe and predictable bubble in the interest of pursuing bravery? Knowing how to be brave can have major positive impacts in both your personal and professional lives.

Why bravery is important in your personal life

No matter who you are or what goals you have, bravery is needed in your daily life—from having the courage to have an honest conversation with a family member or being courageous enough to try a new hobby you've always wanted to learn.

With that said, a brave act doesn't always mean a big grand gesture (nope, it's not all about skydiving). Sometimes, it can be addressing the elephant in the room or establishing boundaries with someone for your own mental health. Having the courage to do the difficult but necessary things in your life will also make your personal relationships all the more meaningful.

Plus, you can't let fear or self-consciousness hold you back from going after the goals, hobbies, or lifestyle choices that have the potential to add even more joy to your daily life. If you want to have more music in your life, go try taking a piano lesson. Or, if you want to travel the world, see if you can work remotely or take a long-term absence from your job to go and see new places.

Those decisions require a certain degree of bravery and, if you constantly hold yourself back from pursuing these aspirations (or whatever is on your own list), your life may feel stilted—when a little bit of confidence and guts could push you toward living an even richer, more fulfilling life.

Why bravery matters for your career and professional life

Even a little bit of bravery can pay dividends when it comes to your personal passions and relationships. But, there's a big payoff for your career as well. Bravery can lead you down an ambitious and more fulfilling career path.

For example, maybe you don't enjoy your current corporate job and dream of working for a nonprofit instead. While you might like to quit your job and get a new one at your favorite nonprofit, you're afraid the lower pay and involvement with a less-established organization would be a bad career move. These fears may be understandable (and of course, you always need to balance your own objectives with real-world logistics). But, by not listening to your intuition and going after your true passion, you could be limiting yourself and avoiding a career that's ultimately more fulfilling for you.

Many times, people don't pursue their career dreams because they suffer from imposter syndrome and think they're not good enough. You can move past this negative thinking by focusing on the great ideas and skills you bring to the table. With a positive mindset and confidence in yourself, you'll be able to have the courage to raise your hand for the leadership roles or other professional responsibilities and challenges that you want.

How to be brave: 8 strategies to muster your adventurous spirit and conquer your fears

You're convinced—you're ready to display some more courage in your life, whether professionally, personally, or both. Rest assured, being brave doesn't have to be synonymous with being reckless. It's more than possible to take a thoughtful, strategic approach to incorporate more audacity and confidence into your everyday life.

Let's look at eight steps you can take to not just put on a brave face but actually use your life experience to find a real source of courage within yourself—and become a far more brave person in the process.

1. Acknowledge and understand your fears

Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s the ability to acknowledge your fear and then move past it. Some people believe that the best way to conquer fear is to ignore it and pretend that it doesn’t exist. This can be tempting, but it’s an unhealthy way to deal with your fears. Ignoring the fear only makes it seem more scary and unmanageable in the long run.

That’s why the first step to bravery is to accept that you are afraid and then dig into the root cause of your fear. Why does that situation make you afraid? For example, perhaps you've always had a paralyzing fear of public speaking. You can use a technique like the "five whys" technique to get down to the true cause of your apprehension. It's as simple as asking "why?" five times in a row. Here's an example:

"I'm afraid of public speaking."

Why? "I've never had a positive experience with it."

Why? "I always get overly nervous and self-conscious."

Why? "It's nerve-wracking to get up in front of other people."

Why? "I'm worried that they're quietly judging me."

Why? "Because I don't think I have anything worthwhile to share with them."

See? While you might've originally thought that your fear was related to a large crowd or even the potential for embarrassment, it goes deeper than that: You don't trust that you're worthy of speaking in front of a crowd. That's a root cause that you can work on addressing with adequate research and preparation for public speaking opportunities.

Naming the fear and the reason behind it helps you look at the situation from a more objective perspective and gives you more control over your fear. Then, knowing what you’re up against gives you the ability to decide how much this fear will hold you back from your life

2. Challenge your negative thoughts

If you’ve had the thought, “I can’t do this” or, “What if they think it’s a dumb idea?” you’re not alone. Many times negative thoughts will hold people back from taking a brave step.

Don’t give your negativity or internal stress any weight. Instead, question those pessimistic thoughts. How do you know that people will laugh at you? What evidence do you have?

Then, look at all of the facts that go directly against your negative thinking. That could be something as simple as compliments or positive feedback from other people that you trust. We all have the tendency to be our own worst critics and will let their fear hold us back. Take a holistic look at the situation without letting your uncertainty or doubts cloud your judgment. Your goals might not be as unrealistic as you originally believe.

3. Use positive self-talk

Similarly, make sure you are kind to yourself throughout your journey. If you’re hard on yourself every time you make a mistake or aren’t sure what to do next, you’ll never want to put yourself in those types of situations that help you grow. You need to trust yourself through the process. Your intuition can be the most resourceful tool when it comes to facing your fears, so check your gut and follow what it tells you.

As you’re trying new things and trusting your own judgment, a personal coach can be a good supporter to help you know when to check in with yourself for that intuition. Our Trust Your Gut Program is a powerful resource to help you develop that internal reference and start building your positive inner voice for yourself. You'll walk away with boosted self-esteem, heightened self-awareness, and the ability to make faster, more confident decisions.

Mistakes will inevitably happen as you’re learning to be brave. Use those bumps along the way as learning experiences and maintain a positive mindset. You can be your own best cheerleader, so give yourself the grace and the encouragement you deserve.

4. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

Here's the truth: When you make a brave decision, you’re setting yourself up for potential discomfort. But, discomfort isn’t something to be afraid of or avoid. It’s part of having courage. The braver you try to be, the more likely you will find yourself in uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations. Lean into this and start to become comfortable with the unknown and the thrill that comes with venturing outside of your comfort zone.

Soon, stretching yourself and trying new things will start to feel like a habit or second nature. That’s when a brave act like quitting your 9-5 to start up your own graphic design business won’t seem so scary. You’ll be far more accustomed to the uncertainty that comes with that decision and know that you’ve gotten through an uncomfortable situation before—and you’ll be able to do it again.

5. Accept the possibility of failure

Failure is an ominous word to many, but it shouldn’t be a bad thing. It can seem scary and, obviously, it isn’t the outcome most people hope for. But, failing can be a teaching moment along your journey to help you get closer to reaching your dreams.

When your plans don’t pan out, take the opportunity to assess what went wrong and what can be improved next time so the mistake doesn’t happen again. Seeing each setback as an opportunity can also help you build resilience so you’re able to get back up and keep trying without letting the failure eat away at you too much.

Failing will likely happen to you at one time or another. While this is true, don’t let it hold you back. Never trying something new or going after your goals means that you're giving into that fear and accepting cowardice. Go after the bold dreams you have and accept that failure may or may not happen. The bravest thing you can do once you’ve failed at something is to get back up and try again.

6. Get support and accountability with coaching

As you pursue increased bravery, it can be helpful to have a mentor or coach to advise and encourage you throughout your journey to building up courage. If there is someone at work who has the job you want one day or if there’s another person whose bravery you admire, ask them how they got to where they’re at now. Not only can you look to them as a role model, but they may also be able to offer advice to help you be more courageous in your career or inspire you to go after your dreams.

If you’re shy about asking someone you know for help, a life coach can be that person to encourage you and provide actionable, targeted advice. F4S has plenty of coaching programs that can help you develop courage and confidence, and the Personal Power track is one great example. This program will not only help you see the talents and value you bring, but Coach Marlee can also build up your confidence and provide tips on how to make the most of your personal influence.

7. Make a game plan

To prepare yourself to do a brave thing without feeling like you're leaping off a cliff or flying entirely by the seat of your pants, try making a plan so you can think through and prepare for every small step. You can analyze every potential scenario and come up with responses for each possibility. Another way to plan is by creating SMART goals for each aspiration you want to set out to do. This will help you set a timeline to achieve your goals so you don't let too much time pass without taking action.

For example, if you decide you want to try your hand at standup comedy (despite the fact that the thought alone terrifies you), you can create a schedule for when you'll work on writing new material and attending open mics. You could also research top comedians, times that they've bombed in front of a crowd, and their own recommendations and strategies for coping when jokes aren't landing the way you hoped.

Is it a foolproof plan? Nope—and that's why bravery is still required. But, the sheer act of planning helps you feel like you're exercising at least a little bit of control over an otherwise intimidating situation, which can calm any anxiety you have about going after a bold goal. While events may not go according to your plan, you'll at least have put in your best effort to prepare so things can go smoothly. Plus, you'll have something to reference to keep you on track so you feel more accountable to accomplish your dreams.

8. Just do it

Ultimately, the best way to be courageous is to just do what makes you scared. Take a deep breath and do the brave thing. You can plan all you want, find the right mentors, and put yourself in the right mindset, but if you never jump into a brave decision, you’ll never have courage.

As counterintuitive as it might feel for you, an impulsive decision here and there can help kickstart your brain into thinking more courageously and get primed and ready to take on your fears. Allow yourself to jump into new things without overthinking and you’ll find that being brave isn’t always as scary as it might seem.

Remember that fear isn’t always a bad thing

While fear can hold you back from being courageous, it can also be a healthy emotion to experience from time to time. A strong gut feeling that something isn’t right can save your life in a dangerous situation. When you feel afraid, sit with that feeling and try to uncover why you feel that way and how likely those fears are to come true.

If your fears are based on doubt or unlikely consequences, the brave thing to do is move past that fear and move forward. But, if your fears are based on results that are somewhat likely to happen or your intuition tells you to stop, it’s probably a good idea to listen to that fear and pause. There is a fine line between bravery and recklessness. Your fear is that gut check that can help you determine which side of the line you’re falling on and if you should think twice before committing to a brave act. No illusion of bravery is worth risking your health or well-being.

The bravest move is to get started

While you can plan for years or give yourself positive encouragement, the best way to build your courage is to just do the things that you want to try but are scared to do.

Go after the promotion, say "hello" to that person you’ve admired on the bus, or volunteer to lead a fundraiser for a local nonprofit. Having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid, but it means you won’t let that fear hold you back. Take the small steps day after day to put yourself out there and get closer to where you want to end up. You may even surprise yourself with what you can achieve.

Want some extra help to conquer your fears and live a courageous life? You can work with your own personal A.I. coach who will help you tap into your personal power and trust your gut as you set out to live a more courageous life. Get started for free now.

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Coach Marlee (your amazing AI-powered personal coach) will analyse your unique traits and goals to let you know which program to start with (and if there are any you should skip)!

Your recommended programs include:

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In this high impact eight week program Coach Marlee will help you increase your comfort and confidence to be in positions of influence and leadership, navigate organizational politics and also help you develop a comfort to compete and collaborate at the top of your industry or field.

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In this high impact nine week program Coach Marlee will help you increase your self-confidence and general wellbeing while also helping you to break through self sabotage to develop life long skills for emotional resilience and self-esteem. Enjoy weekly cutting edge science backed wellbeing resources from both Marlee and our wellbeing partner Blisspot.

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