Having no feeling
I don't have feelings anymore
“I feel like I don’t have feelings anymore” is a common experience for people who are developing psychosis or depression or who are recovering from a traumatic experience. It can be unnerving to lose the ability to feel or show your emotions.
When we experience trauma, the shock of the traumatic event can make us feel numb. In depression, the feeling of numbness also comes with sadness or feeling heavy or slow in your body. People experiencing psychosis often feel like they no longer have feelings while also hearing or seeing things that might not be there.
Mental health conditions like these are common. 70% of people will experience trauma in their life [1]. 10% will experience depression [2], and 3.5% will experience psychosis [3].
When you lose the ability to feel or express any emotions, this is called flat affect. If you feel numb only to positive emotions but are still able to feel negative emotions, this is called anhedonia. Anhedonia is a common symptom of depression and shows up in a lot of mental health conditions. Flat affect is less common, but it is frequently a symptom of psychosis.
If you think you may be experiencing symptoms of depression or PTSD (which is common in people who have experienced trauma), you can take our free and confidential depression test or PTSD test.
Some symptoms of psychosis are called “positive symptoms.” Others are called “negative symptoms.” That doesn’t mean that positive symptoms are good and negative symptoms are bad. Positive symptoms are things that start to happen that are not “normal,” like seeing or hearing things that aren’t there. Negative symptoms are things that normally do happen, but stop happening when you experience psychosis. Flat affect, where you stop feeling emotions, is a negative symptom.
Below are some questions that we ask people about their negative symptoms of psychosis [4]:
- Has anyone pointed out to you that you are less emotional or connected to people than you used to be?
- Do your emotions feel less strong in general than they used to? Do you ever feel numb?
- Do you find yourself having a harder time distinguishing different emotions/feelings?
- Are you feeling emotionally flat?
- Do you ever feel a loss of sense of self or feel disconnected from yourself or your life? Like a spectator in your own life?
- Do you find that you have trouble getting motivated to do things?
- Are you having a harder time getting normal daily activities done? Sometimes? Always? Does prodding work? Sometimes? Never?
- Do you find that people have to push you to get things done? Have you stopped doing anything that you usually do?
- Do you sometimes find it hard to understand what people are trying to tell you because you don’t understand what they mean?
- Do people more and more use words you don’t understand?
If you said yes to some of these symptoms, it’s worthwhile to take a free and confidential screen here.
Negative symptoms of psychosis are treatable, but you want to make sure to get help sooner than later. With early treatment of psychosis, you can prevent your “first break.” In a psychotic break, you aren’t able to tell what’s real or not real, or you might not feel like you have control over your experiences anymore. At this point, a person also can be diagnosed with schizophrenia. If you get help before your first break, you will have an easier time managing your symptoms going forward.
If you think you have psychosis, keep exploring this site to learn more about what psychosis feels like. Reach out to someone you trust to talk about these experiences. The earlier you identify solutions to these experiences, the better.
Show References
- Knipscheer et al. (2020). Prevalence of Potentially Traumatic Events, Other Life Events and Subsequent Reactions Indicative for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in the Netherlands: A General Population Study Based on the Trauma Screening Questionnaire.
International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 17(5), p. 1725. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7084195/ - Lim et al. (2018). Prevalence of Depression in the Community from 30 Countries between 1994 and 2014. Scientific Reports 8, p. 2861. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-018-21243-x
- Van Os. (2015). The transdiagnostic dimension of psychosis: implications for psychiatric nosology and research. Shanghai Archives of Psychiatry 27(2), pp. 82-86. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4466847/
- These questions were pulled from the Structured Interview for Psychosis-Risk Symptoms: http://www.easacommunity.org/files/SIPS_V5-1-1%20V5.doc
Causes and Treatment for Emotional Numbness
Feeling emotionally numb or a general lack of emotion can be a symptom of several different medical conditions or a side effect of some medications.
Emotional numbness creates a sense of emptiness, isolation, or emotional disconnect from the rest of the world.
The numbness can be unbearable for many people who experience it.
Find out what it’s like, why it happens, and how to manage and prevent it.
Emotional numbness, also sometimes called emotional blunting, can be difficult to imagine if you have not experienced it.
Some people describe it as feeling emptiness or despondency, while others report feeling isolated. Some feel as though they have no future or that there is no hope for the numbness to ever fade.
“Often I feel invisible, like I’m a ghost. I watch my family engaging with each other, but feel like there’s an invisible barrier that keeps me from joining them,” describes Amy H., who has experienced emotional numbness from depression. “I’m like a submarine drifting undetected, picking up on other people’s emotions like sonar. However, if you were to ask me what my own feelings are, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.”
Rebecca C.* has a similar experience with numbness caused by depression: “The world around me often seems slightly superficial, [like] I am simply going through the motions and can’t connect to my environment,” she explains.
“It makes me feel as if there were analog TV static in my brain. I am unable to communicate or think deeply.”
Some people describe emotional numbness as feeling unfocused or ungrounded.
“It basically feels like when you zone out before you go to sleep,” Amanda D. said. “Feels like being unfocused. And sometimes, especially right when you are going through it, it’s really hard to understand how the world keeps moving when it should have stopped.”
*Some names have been changed at the request of interviewees.
There are a number of different things that can cause emotional numbness to occur. While depression and anxiety are the most common causes, others include the following:
- Stress and stress hormones: Elevated cortisol levels can lead to emotional numbness in some people.
- PTSD: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which may change your stress hormone levels, can be tied to depression, anxiety, and symptoms like emotional numbness.
- Medication: Some medications used to treat anxiety and depression affect how the brain processes mood and emotion. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) affect serotonin levels in your brain, which could also alter dopamine levels. Most evidence is anecdotal, but a 2021 review of research suggests this could explain medication-induced emotional numbing.
- Depersonalization-derealization disorder: People with depersonalization-derealization disorder may experience numbness in their minds or bodies.
- Fatigue: Experiencing physical fatigue and burnout could lead some people to have emotional blunting.
Despite how it may feel, emotional numbness is not permanent. Treatment is available to provide both immediate relief and long-term remission.
The first step in treating emotional numbness is to identify and treat the underlying cause. A healthcare professional can help with this, or they may refer you to a mental health professional.
You’ll be asked what medications you take and what other symptoms you have. If your doctor thinks one of your medications is to blame, they may substitute it with something else.
If you do not already have a mental health professional, the FindCare tool can help you locate one in your area.
Immediate relief options
To start getting more immediate relief from emotional numbness, you can also try several treatment options:
Make an appointment with a mental health professional
A mental health professional can offer coping techniques to help you regain your feelings. Some professionals, like psychiatrists, can prescribe different medications.
While antidepressants typically take up to 6 weeks to start working, your doctor may prescribe anti-anxiety medication like benzodiazepines or beta-blockers for you to take while the other drug builds in your system.
Rely on your support system
Even if you’re having trouble connecting, reach out to the people who love you.
They may be able to help you connect, and you may find relief in telling them what you’re going through.
Exercise
When you’re feeling numb, the last thing you may want to do is get up and move, but it’s one of the best things you can do.
Running, swimming, yoga, and kickboxing classes are all great for stress relief, but even just taking a walk around the neighborhood can help flood your brain with endorphins. To get the best results, exercise daily.
Get plenty of sleep
Getting 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep every night could help improve your mood.
Long-term care
For long-term methods of treatment and prevention of emotional numbness, you may want to follow these tactics:
Eat a healthful diet: By eating nutrient-dense foods, you fuel your body to work at its best. Specifically, fish, fresh fruit and vegetables, and other antioxidant-rich foods can improve mood regulation.
Minimize stress: Minimizing stress or improving how you manage it can positively affect your body, reduce stress hormones, and help you regain emotional feeling.
Reduce the stressors in your life, and practice stress-busting techniques like meditation or mindfulness to better manage stress.
Learn to identify and express emotions: For those who have been emotionally numb for an extended time, it can be difficult to identify or process different emotions. A mental health professional can help with this. Make an appointment with a professional in your area who can help you tap into your emotions.
If you’re experiencing emotional numbness, know that no matter how you feel, you aren’t alone, and it won’t last forever.
Reach out to the people you love and make an appointment with a mental health professional. They can help you bridge the gap and bring you one step closer to feeling your feelings.
Who started a relationship without feelings? Can feelings come after a few months?
#1
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0039 April 18, 2011, 03:15 PM
#7
Nika
No, they won't.
But it's better when he loves you than vice versa. .This is a passing chemistry.
#8
#9,0005
Nika
, but it is better when he loves you than vice versa. If a good guy - then be with him. The main thing is that you like it. And love ... This is a passing chemistry. nine0005
#10
Nick
No, they won't. ...It's a passing chemistry.
#11
#12
#13,0002
#14
#15
does not love him, then all the more it will pass.
And imagine that they are married and have children - can you call it a happy family? I know one such family - she never loved him, there was simply no way out, she was left alone with a small child. Married for him. At first he loved and did everything for the family, and she "loved" on the side. Then everything went away for him and he went to look for love on the side - he found a wonderful woman, they love each other, and that first wife has been returning him for many years and does not allow them to live in peace. because only when she lost - appreciated and "fell in love". As a result, the children suffered, and the man was very hard. nine0005
#17
#18
I had
a very good guy on which side did not look, I tried to fall in love, it didn’t work out, although we met for a long time.
And I managed to do one more, after about half a year. Not a storm of feelings (there is something to compare with), but a very strong feeling
#20
#21
but if you even like him, that's already something. I don't even like mine. sex with him is the most problem (
all my life I tried to be independent, but now it so happened that I depend on him and there’s just nowhere to go and there’s no money to eat (all the loot is in business and all this business is eating up). so I think ( (((
#22
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#23
and then it depends on you, if the temperament requires it, then most likely someone will appear on the side for mind-blowing and sex.
and if not, then with such a husband is good. he knows that you do not love him, but appreciate him, so he tries not to disappoint.
#24
For example, I am not satisfied with the angel himself, who loves me madly, I need to love myself. Well, a person cannot be happy if he does not love himself. Because the feeling of falling in love helps the brain produce serotonin - the hormone of happiness! If there is no love, there can be no happiness, even though a hundred people love you. Why do you think the superstars who are loved by millions are so unhappy and lonely?! Because they don't like it. What is left to produce serotonin? Alcohol, drugs, food, mostly sweet, sex - isn't this what so many people sin - because the feelings themselves don't have. nine0005
#25
#26
Unreliable stories
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I am Vired with her children and grandchildren .
.. 874 Reply
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The man immediately warned that all property was recorded on children
739 answers
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Such a salary - I do not want to work
9000 9000 520 answers 92 answers -
Lies 22 years long. How to destroy?
800 answers
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Husband left, 2 months of depression... How will you cope if you are left all alone?
178 answers
#27
#28
For some reason, future partners introduced themselves, waking up in the same bed and not remembering what happened the day before
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#33
I started dating a guy, he wasn't even nice to me.
A month later I realized - I love. Well, that's just how it happened.
Now I started dating someone else, I don't feel anything for him either. Well, yes, he is good, but as a guy he does not attract me. Just a wedge wedge, get distracted. He says he loves. And I kind of don't care .. Well, let it be. nine0005
I try to approach everything with the question: why not? - Makes life much easier.
Don't wait for anything to happen, it will happen. Feelings will come - rejoice that a wonderful person is now yours, if they don't come - don't force yourself.
And may everything work out for you!!!
Good luck!!!
#34
RUN FROM HIM.
DO YOU HEAR ME??? RUN! TO ANOTHER CITY, COUNTRY, CONTINENT, OUT OF SIGHT!!! nine0005
YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF, UNDERSTAND. HE DOESN'T NEED YOU. HE IS DOUBTING HIMSELF.
I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU LOVE.
BUT YOU DON'T NEED IT, THIS STUPID.
RUN. THE PAIN WILL PASS. LOVE TOO.
IF YOU DON'T LEAVE, AFTER TIME YOU WILL REGRET THAT YOU WERE A FOOL AND LOST SO MUCH TIME.
#35
Curly Sue
I agree, maybe you'll get used to it and then you won't be able to do without it at all... I know a bunch of stories like that. It seems that there is no mad love, but it’s still bad without him ... The main thing here is not to annoy ... if it starts to enrage, go away, don’t torture him and yourself. nine0005
#36
New topics
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The man
No answers
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Disabled need to work so that the girl
#37
Do not believe those who say that a man is a happy relationship when a man is a happy relationship.
loves. It's complete bullshit, because constantly being with a person for whom there are no feelings, no passion and chemistry, no emotional attachment and at the same time seeing how he loves you is like torture. Since a feeling of guilt and irritation develops in parallel with him. It was like that with me, but there the man didn’t suit me outwardly, we didn’t even get to kiss, and all his ugliness just drove me crazy like the disgusting words - a cheek, a bunny hand. Only madams with atrophied feelings and complete slaughtering themselves can say, and most importantly, that I be loved and appreciated, and there at least the devil, at least quasi-modo. If you just want warmth, get a cat. I saw the author of such marriages and believe me, then they told me later that this is a complete finish. An example - she is 24-27 married oyy as it should, jumps out for a fan who loves and does not seem to disgust. After the wedding, the admirer turns out to be not a tame cat and a rug, but a person with his own problems, cockroaches and demands.
Showdowns begin up to fights and avoidance of sex under any pretext. Answer the author, is he physically attractive to you? Doesn't turn away when he kisses? Are you mentally comfortable with him or that he is, that he is not? If all the answers are yes, then over time it may turn out to be a binding and, God forbid, then you don’t meet the one you fall in love with
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#42
Author
I am 24 years old.
Young, yes, but we need to think about the future, about the family, the man next to me .. I broke up with the guy. whom I dated for 3 years. Met someone else. In all respects, excellent-SMART, cute. educated, very wealthy and purposeful, does not drink or smoke, not a male. I like him, but nothing more. There are absolutely no feelings. But I understand that these are not lying on the road! They don't even roll at all. So I think, can feelings appear over time? I'm talking about love. We've only been dating for 2 months. He is in love with me. Anyone had something similar? I mean start a relationship. and feelings and love appeared only later? nine0005
#43
#44
9000
6 I am 24 years old.
Young, yes, but we need to think about the future, about the family, the man next to me .. I broke up with the guy. whom I dated for 3 years. Met someone else. In all respects, excellent-SMART, cute. educated, very wealthy and purposeful, does not drink or smoke, not a male. I like him, but nothing more. There are absolutely no feelings. But I understand that these are not lying on the road! They don't even roll at all. So I think, can feelings appear over time? I'm talking about love. We've only been dating for 2 months. He is in love with me. Anyone had something similar? I mean start a relationship. and feelings and love appeared only later? nine0005
#46
Author
I am 24 years old. Young, yes, but we need to think about the future, about the family, the man next to me .. I broke up with the guy. whom I dated for 3 years. Met someone else. In all respects, excellent-SMART, cute.
educated, very wealthy and purposeful, does not drink or smoke, not a male. I like him, but nothing more. There are absolutely no feelings. But I understand that these are not lying on the road! They don't even roll at all. So I think, can feelings appear over time? I'm talking about love. We've only been dating for 2 months. He is in love with me. Anyone had something similar? I mean start a relationship. and feelings and love appeared only later? nine0005
#47
#48
#48
Please tell us how your story ended? April 19, 2018
DO YOU HEAR ME??? RUN! TO ANOTHER CITY, COUNTRY, CONTINENT, OUT OF SIGHT!!!
YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF, UNDERSTAND. HE DOESN'T NEED YOU. HE IS DOUBTING HIMSELF. nine0005
I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU LOVE.
BUT YOU DON'T NEED IT, THIS STUPID.
RUN. THE PAIN WILL PASS. LOVE TOO.
IF YOU DON'T LEAVE, AFTER TIME YOU WILL REGRET THAT YOU WERE A FOOL AND LOST SO MUCH TIME.
#50
Is it possible to create love without falling in love? Who and under what conditions?
Marriage of convenience
There are interesting observations: if a family is created by decent people who know how to be grateful, then over time their relationship can gradually include elements of romanticism, even if at first there was no love between them. And as a result, well-established relationships can develop into true love, it happens! See → nine0005
Life stories
They have been living for 25 years, they have long fallen in love with each other
Source →
Not everyone can fall in love. It's like a talent - someone is deprived of it.
My friend, tormented by this question, when we, her friends, got married at the institute, decided - ah! I'll take it too, consider falling in love! And she pretended. Lived for 25 years, two children. There was no love and there is not, but affection and gratitude, the word "cherish" appeared and does not disappear, unlike many who married for love, love. They do not have a vulnerable relationship, as in the feelings of some, every word is not perceived with hostility, everything is reasonable, correct. But it already seems to her that this is love compared to our sensual troubles. nine0005
If you can't fall in love, don't strain yourself. Do you want a family, children or fall in love? Decide for yourself. If you want children, look for a good person, you will "fall in love" later. Maybe. It happens, and this is not the worst option.
Two girlfriends
source →
Two of my friends. One married "a good man" (which is true), who, after 14 years of life, also adores her.
One son. Everything is fine. But it began to go off scale, because. sex for her is hard labor, and nature demands its own, she is a beautiful lady, other men began to like her. Started a couple of novels, tossed and suffered. He is also not very happy, and he offered to divorce peacefully so that no one would torment anyone. My friend was in shock, she cried for 2 weeks, she imagined her life without him - she didn’t like it very much. I appreciated it very much. Just fell in love. Now they are expecting their second child. I feel that on some level she is still angry that everything is not right and wrong, and the feeling that life is missed and there was no romance, awe, sweet longing and all that. I'm sure if some woman tried to take him away, she would appreciate him even more. nine0005
Second. The beginning is the same. For a very long time there was a feeling of longing, not mine, I so wanted love, anger and contempt for a poor, innocent loving husband. It got to depression.
Several years have passed. But then it got better. That very phase of deep love has come - there was something to respect for a person, an achiever and a smart one, always developing, ambitious, very smart, it’s easy and fun to work with him, a great sense of humor. And it began to light and like. Relations have moved to a new stage, and they have the same honeymoon, which was not at the beginning. It is in this phase that the real personal qualities of a person are so important. And she felt somewhere ashamed of herself that she was looking for beautiful eyes and brunette, and not the essence of a good person. nine0005
No one will give you a guarantee that if you start a relationship with someone who is "not yours", you will like him later. I'm sure you heard a bunch of opposite stories, when at first sparks flew, and then everything disappeared somewhere and people got divorced.
Denis Shvetsov
Nikolai Ivanovich, on the topic of the mailing list: Katerina (my beloved) and I built our relationship out of pure calculation.
And we are happy, and we love each other, and we have more than enough romance now. Soon there will be a year as we are together. Details of how it started and developed are in the topic on my website: Looking for a life partner. When I am asked about Love, I myself regularly rely on our experience in building relationships in this matter. nine0005
Video from Yana Schastie: interview with Professor of Psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn't be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.
- Birth of love
- Love and falling in love
- Love, husband-wife
- Winning the heart
- Training "Personal life-1"
- Love, m-f, family
Comments (4):
Elena, July 30, 2014, 11:02 am
Great site! Everything is very smart, to the point, in detail, sincerely, positively! Many thanks to all the authors of the site!
petrova mariya viktorovna, June 04, 2015, 4:33 pm
I believe that this happens.
At first, there may not be feelings, but time passes and love can cover so unexpectedly. Everything in this life is possible. nine0005
Guest, May 06, 2016, 8:56 PM
I absolutely agree with the article! Without love, it is quite possible to build both a family and love! I was 2 times in love with those who did not need me, it all ended in depression and an even greater decrease in self-esteem. I decided for myself that simple sympathy and common interests between people are enough for a long-term serious relationship, and if a man protects me and shows patronage, then I can easily fall in love with him. It is generally contraindicated for a woman to fall in love) she chooses from those who chose her. nine0005
Guest, June 29, 2021, 10:34
Falling in love is an emotion, and love is a feeling, therefore it is generally incorrect to compare and connect them in general. Emotions are the most ancient, primitive function of higher nervous activity, which manifests itself in any organisms that have this highest nervous activity.
And feelings are the latest and most complex function of higher nervous activity, traditionally considered as the result of the work of the mind. A banal example: a newborn person has emotions right away, and they are the only ones. Feelings will begin to appear in him in ten, twenty, thirty years, however, even that is not a fact. Therefore, the answer to the question from the title of the article is actually contained in the question itself: yes, of course you can, because smart people have emotions under control and do not affect feelings in any way. nine0005
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